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Vampire!Mark AU

well fuck — 

Quite old, like centuries or whatever 

Quite protective like he’ll be at the vampire meet up spot ten miles away from your house but he’ll hear something fall and he’ll rush to your apartment in a panic and ready to kill only to find that you had just thrown your shirt to the floor while changing and he heard the soft ass thump it made against the wood 

Fast af, can be four towns over on business but if you just whisper his name into the dark night while stood on your balcony he’ll suddenly be behind you with cold arms circling around your waist before you could even reach the last letter in his name like “you called, my love?” 

Freaks out sometimes when your heart skips a random beat like “are you okay are you hurt what just happened” when in reality he literally just smiled at you and made you fall in love all over again 

Likes to watch you sleep since he can’t slip into the state of unconsciousness himself •Sometimes reads your mind and watches your dreams play like they’re movies •If they’re dirty dreams about him and you his eyes will glow bright red with predatory want •It pisses you off, the mind reading thing 

this post is long af so im gonna put the rest under the cut

“Mark, get the fuck out of my head.”  

“Love, I can’t even read minds, I swear.” 

Calls you ‘my human’ just to irritate the shit out of you 

He’s always cold as fucking shit because he has no warm blood pumping through him but he loves to cuddle so? 

You have to cuddle while wearing clothes warm enough to climb Mt. Everest during snow storm season 

Tries to be cute and take you out on dates like a normal boyfriend but sometimes the sun is just too much and will make him really sick 

Sick vampire mark omg 

He’ll milk you, literally whine that he wants this and this and this even though he doesn’t need anything because he’ll be fine the moment he steps into some shade 

"Mark, you’re a fucking vampire, you don’t eat soup.” Or “Mark, no matter how many fucking blankets I put on you, you’ll still be that cold. It’s not a fever, it’s just you.” 

Constantly tries to impress you with his inhuman strength and speed 

“Love, watch this.” 

"Mark you’ve lifted that car and thrown it three times already, stop.” Or “Okay I get it, you’re fast. You can stop bringing me actual Chinese food from China now. The restaurant around the corner is just fine.” 

Likes to play with your fingers in bed 

He tries to be adorable and do human things for you and you forget he’s a blood thirsty vampire at times but then he walks into your room one morning with a plate stacked high of burnt ass toast and you’ll be reminded again that your boyfriend is so far gone from human 

Sometimes loses himself in tracing over the veins on your arms 

There are times where he loses control at the heavenly smell of your blood and will press you against the wall in less than half a blink of your eye and his lips will be on your neck and his fangs will be pointed and scraping ever so lightly over your soft skin 

It doesn’t help that you’re not used to being moved that fast so your heart beats really loudly, is literally shouting into his ear and practically begging him to drink you dry 

But then he’ll look into your eyes and his will change from red back to brown and his teeth will go back to normal and he’d push an apologetic kiss to your lips 

His reflexes are no fucking joke 

He can sense that you’re about to trip, like the clumsy bitch you are, and grab a hold of your elbow a fraction of a second before you face plant 

He can smell you from miles away He knows when you’re taking a shower because he can smell and hear the bottle of shampoo you use as you squeeze some into your hand, can smell your laundry soap as soon as a single drop is poured into your washer. 

He heals in front of you 

its freaky af 

Like he’ll come to your place after a vamp fight and have twenty broken bones but then be completely okay four seconds later 

Like Mark stop, I don’t want to see the bones of your fingers snap themselves back into place. 

He drinks human blood and stuff 

not around you but sometimes he’ll show up at your place with a few drops at the corner of his lips and the way he licks it off when you point it out and moans about the taste gets you riled up 

Vampire!sex  

Yeah.. 

Sort of like twilight? Like that’s the only way I can picture it  

I will not elaborate 

He is just hot tbh

Bambam on crack

jamjam and bambam got into a traffic jam and their car went bam and they lost the ham and the jam and they bammed their heads and lost their memories and bambam woke up with some jam and found out that his ham was missing