D&d Npc - Tumblr Posts
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I’m afraid you have the wrong person, stranger. I am the merchant, and I am not aware of this Google Play. Perhaps someone else can point you towards them?
HOT SAUCE I THINK DG NEEDS HELP
Does he? Alright. I’ll be there.
YOUR FISH SON
YOUR FISH SONM
My what?
If you’re referring to my friend DG, I’m already on my way.
HES BEEN FISHNABBED
Yes, I’m beginning to see that. Do you have any idea where he may be?
(The merchant arrives on the scene too late, and finds nothing but blood and scattered thorns. Perhaps he went out again?)
(He’s not out by the flowers, or up in a tree, or in the pool.)
Well, this is an unexpected predicament.
(The merchant returns to DG’s room, carefully gathers a handful of thorns and disappears.)
*Theres some fallen off scales and wings but nothing else.*
As do I.
I see your friends have been worried about you. Why don’t you explain to them what happened, since I am unable to speak to them myself?
*The bees are swarming in a panic around DG’s head, they seem to want to know what happened to him*
-🐝
*DG, stretches out his back and shakes his head confused.*
WHAT?.. WHATS WRONG
Yo, got some Tabasco?
I should, yes. How much?
When did bro get sent to the pd
I have always been able to leave my home world. I met a sapient sled, at one point.
You were what
Your question is unclear, stranger. Do you wish to know more about the sled, my present situation, or the distant past when the answer to what I am was different?
(The merchant pulls several dozen bottles of hot sauce out of his cloak and sets them on the floor in rows)
One gold for a full size, or your world’s equivalent.
(The merchant looks around, mildly alarmed by the unexpected environment.)
Hello, stranger. Is this a bad time?
*He does an one eye at a time blink.*
Not the weirdest thing right now.
What's your thoughts on vegan zombies?
It depends on what qualifies as vegan for a zombie. If one refrains from consuming the flesh of sapient species, I admire the dedication, but I do wonder how it would work. Isn’t that generally a requirement for the undead?
GIVE ME THREE REASONS YOUR JOT RED ANON
Stranger, please, calm yourself. You seem upset. What is it that you need from me?
YO HS! im out of the good kind of hot sauce.how much you got stocked up :)
- @aferinbyname
Captain, it has been a while. I have several for you this time.
[The merchant stands in front of Jay and pulls eight bottles of hot sauce out of her cloak two at a time, setting them down in front of the pirate. One of them is about half the size of the rest.]
I... May have forgotten to restock bottles. This one is five silver, if you want it.
WHY IS IT BURNING ME
I AM BECOMING DRY
MY MOISTURE.... ITS GONE...
-gillion
Oh, dear. Eat something dairy or starch-based, Captain, you'll be all right. While Captain Ferin can handle that level of spice, she is a very singular case and I do not recommend you try to consume hot sauce the way she does.
I have been well. Someone I’ve been looking after for a time met a potential friend, though we haven’t seen that person since then. I haven’t, anyway; it’s been a while since I went to visit.
Our anons took a brief interest in my past, but that interest seems to have waned, so I haven’t had much to do aside from tending to my peppers.
YO HS! im out of the good kind of hot sauce.how much you got stocked up :)
- @aferinbyname
Captain, it has been a while. I have several for you this time.
[The merchant stands in front of Jay and pulls eight bottles of hot sauce out of her cloak two at a time, setting them down in front of the pirate. One of them is about half the size of the rest.]
I... May have forgotten to restock bottles. This one is five silver, if you want it.
Yes, my past. What, who and where I was before I took this job. I’ve been around for a while; I suppose they were interested in my experience since most of them don’t live in this world.
YO HS! im out of the good kind of hot sauce.how much you got stocked up :)
- @aferinbyname
Captain, it has been a while. I have several for you this time.
[The merchant stands in front of Jay and pulls eight bottles of hot sauce out of her cloak two at a time, setting them down in front of the pirate. One of them is about half the size of the rest.]
I... May have forgotten to restock bottles. This one is five silver, if you want it.
(The merchant tips her head to the side.)
What did you find ominous? Ah, the anons who don’t live here. You visited the feywild briefly, did you not? There are countless planes of existence, and not all of our anons happen to live in this one. Travel between them is not so rare that it should shock you.
YO HS! im out of the good kind of hot sauce.how much you got stocked up :)
- @aferinbyname
Captain, it has been a while. I have several for you this time.
[The merchant stands in front of Jay and pulls eight bottles of hot sauce out of her cloak two at a time, setting them down in front of the pirate. One of them is about half the size of the rest.]
I... May have forgotten to restock bottles. This one is five silver, if you want it.
No, of course not.
(The merchant pulls aer cloak open and starts reorganizing the bottles to make up for the unbalance of the eight she took out.)
As trivial as some of them may be, I don’t think any of this world’s gods or deities would spend over a century growing and selling capsaicin-laden fruit purée. I hardly possess any magical abilities at all, in fact. My kind just tends to live longer than most.
YO HS! im out of the good kind of hot sauce.how much you got stocked up :)
- @aferinbyname
Captain, it has been a while. I have several for you this time.
[The merchant stands in front of Jay and pulls eight bottles of hot sauce out of her cloak two at a time, setting them down in front of the pirate. One of them is about half the size of the rest.]
I... May have forgotten to restock bottles. This one is five silver, if you want it.
By your standards, yes. By my own, I’m not sure. There are five, maybe more, ways to measure my age and there’s no way of knowing which is correct, though the least of them is the least likely to be true.
I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be so cryptic. Biologically, I estimate that I’m either just over seven centuries - as that is when I was born - or four centuries, from the point that I was changed.
YO HS! im out of the good kind of hot sauce.how much you got stocked up :)
- @aferinbyname
Captain, it has been a while. I have several for you this time.
[The merchant stands in front of Jay and pulls eight bottles of hot sauce out of her cloak two at a time, setting them down in front of the pirate. One of them is about half the size of the rest.]
I... May have forgotten to restock bottles. This one is five silver, if you want it.
Sometimes I forget how young you are.
(The merchant contemplates something, weighing the risk of a false reputation against the entertainment of this Captain’s reaction to a certain piece of information.)
While I was born in this world, and live in it now, I did stay in another one for a time.
You know how much more quickly time passes in the Feywild, don’t you? I’ve done some calculations based on the average time distortion between these two, and I estimate that due to the many years I spent there, nearly five thousand have passed in this world since I first opened my eyes. Isn’t that interesting?
YO HS! im out of the good kind of hot sauce.how much you got stocked up :)
- @aferinbyname
Captain, it has been a while. I have several for you this time.
[The merchant stands in front of Jay and pulls eight bottles of hot sauce out of her cloak two at a time, setting them down in front of the pirate. One of them is about half the size of the rest.]
I... May have forgotten to restock bottles. This one is five silver, if you want it.