Do NOT Worry About Responding With As Much Btw I'm Just Built Like This GTRBGHTRN - Tumblr Posts

if she thought about it too hard, too long, she was sure she'd start crying again.

she'd been doing that a lot lately, with too big feelings in a too small body, it'd been something inherent to her long before Gaster's disappearance.

though, Alphys often thought of it in herself like a childish quirk, the equivalent perhaps of a toddler throwing a tantrum ━ however untrue that is, however harsh it might be to her capability ━ when those feelings became too much to contain so easily, rippling out as though intent to fill the cracks and grooves of her scales and the place she'd made home, smooth it out until there was nothing but that heart in her hands.

however, Gaster's return and simultaneous remembrance felt like one of the few instances where it was justified. almost expected.

they'd been calling it his disappearance ; the sentiment present but still the wrong word, she knew, because it implied someone knew it was missing. she wished she did. she wished she did. it wouldn't have mattered what it took, she'd have tried it. maybe that's why its for the better that she hadn't, rather than her being the only one mindfully aware. ━━━ it would've drove her insane more than it wouldn't. the guilt of not knowing doesn't die so easily, though, and neither does the longing to have helped them sooner.

many years of missing them built up into one sudden recollection. she could, and has, likened it to being stabbed.

maybe that's why she tries to avoid the consideration as her claws fiddle with ceramics ━ something she often does not bother with, when the bare-minimum is good enough ━ because it would be too easy to invoke again. maybe thats why the offer was so simple, just getting coffee with him, instead of lingering in the old memories the labs would bring her.

still; this, somehow, still feels indefinitely, undefineably familiar. she is trying not to think about it.

“i- y-yeah! i am too-! i mean- being w-wrong is never a good feeling, but it's.. pretty nice i-i'd think, h-here! with how ━ uh ━ e-everything turned out-!“

her neck twitches ━ a quirk of hers she's had forever, the snap of the jaw jutting forwards in uncontrolled muscle movement ━ as she sets out the cups. the room is cleaner than Alphys almost ever is or was; imperfect, perhaps haphazard, but better. if Gaster was to look closely, it'd notice the heads of wires peeking just barely out of drawers, edges of paper leveraging ever-so-slightly between shelves just into view ━━ one of the cabinets hangs awkwardly on its hinge, broken once, a clean then jagged scar of a slice through the almost-center of the wood, repaired with thick ductape. you could see the indents where her claws began carving at the top layer of the wood or shredding at the tape, depending on which was unfortunate enough to be in her way.

her hands twitch when the coffee-maker plays an off-tune jingle, and she reaches over. only heating water, with an array of teas lined crookedly on the countertop, and an unopened bag of ground coffee which looked expensive.

she couldn't remember which he liked best out of all of them. she'd spent days researching the best coffee she could get her hands on before offering, just in case.

”h-how have you been ━ um ━ b-b-both in general a-and adjusting wise-? w-w-well, i don't know if there's a ━ a lot to adjust to, p-persay? b-b-but━“ she trails off, aimless, unable to resolve the sentence the way she wants to.

"oh-! s-sorry, i should've asked before━ what w-would you prefer-?"

@quillheel asked ; ❛ i never thought i’d see you again . ❜ / to gaster, from alphys !

A wide smile rests on his skull, clearly overjoyed to see her once more. He's been overjoyed to see everyone once again, but Alphys is someone he was looking forwards to seeing most. Much has happened since their last real meeting, and he's more than aware of that fact. He can only hope that doesn't prevent them from resuming the friendship they once had.

"In all honesty, I was of the same mind.. until recently, that is. I am glad to be wrong."