Don't Take This Seriously Lol - Tumblr Posts

Looks like a cinnamon roll, could kill you: Aphrodite, Apollo, Dionysus, Hera;

Looks like they could kill you, it’s a cinnamon roll: Hephaestus, Hades;

Looks like a cinnamon roll, it’s a cinnamon roll: Hestia, Hermes, Demeter;

Looks like they could kill you, would kill you: Athena, Artemis, Ares, Zeus, Poseidon;

Since a lot of Greek Mythology Retellings are more or less an excuse for P0rn and follow a similar pattern, I'm really surprised that there isn't one book inspired by that one myth where Thespius offered to Heracles his fifty daughters as a prize for killing a (not the Nemean one) lion, and he slept with all of them and left each one of them pregnant with a son either in fifty nights or only one.

Fifty Shades of Heracles when?

I'll just assume that the reason why Thanatos doesn’t canonically have any lover is because if someone would have sex with him it would be considered necrophilia since he's Death.

Honestly I don't like it when, out of all heroes who did morally questionable/ambiguous actions, people choose to demonize Perseus, but if you're so willing to portray him as the piece of shit someone else is then at least be more creative. How am I going to take your villainized version of him seriously if he doesn't own an entire statue gallery in his palace? Or if he doesn't eat sushi with a fork? C'mon, guys!