Heracles - Tumblr Posts
He deserves a hot spring scene tbh.
Ok,enough of Heracles groping kids
Here Are A Few Things From Greek Mythology Which Not Only That Make Sense, But Are Actually Quite Briliant
1. The children of Ares (war, combat, bloodlust) and Aphrodite (beauty, sex) are: Eros (love), Anteros (requited love), Himeros (uncontrollable immediate desire), Pothos (longing desire), Harmonia (harmony), Phobos (fear), Deimos (panic/terror) and Adrestia (revenge); which are all of the emotions that can happen in a relationship between the foul-tempered abusive jock and the pretty girl. The ancient Greeks understood relationships.
2. Perseus is the son of Zeus. Why didn't Hera go after him or his mother? Because they're from Argos, and she's the patron of that city.
3. The story of Heracles states that Hera tricked Zeus into saying that the next king of Argos shall be the next male born. Of course, she manipulates events to happen so that Heracles's cousin Eurystheus is born first - thus making him the rightful king. But wait - Heracles has a twin. (Iphicles) So why go for his cousin, and not his fraternal twin to really rub salt in it with Zeus ("Hey, Alcmene's son is the next rightful king - Ain't no rule saying it had to be Heracles, haha!")? It makes a bit of sense actually - by making Eurystheus the next born child, she ensures that it's not Heracles. If she induced labour in Alcmene, there was still a chance Heracles could have been the first one born - and not Iphicles.
4. Why would the relatively amiable Hades kidnap Persephone to make her his bride? Well, according to some sources, he did that after asking Zeus for relationship advice. Given the fact that Zeus has raped and/or kidnapped plenty of women (and poor, minor Ganymede) just 'cause he felt like it, it isn't surprising that his advice would involve something like that.
5. Every source and most people tend to think Hades got the worst and Zeus the best of the deal when they divided up the world, but actually it's kinda balanced because all three of the brothers' domains come with some great perks. Zeus' is obvious, but consider this: Poseidon got the element that covers about two thirds of the planet, with earthquakes to boot, and for Greeks travelling by sea was something of a necessity, while Hades got all of the minerals and gemstones, and as many point out, the one biggest flaw of humanity is that the dead have always and will always outnumber the living.
6. Most stories of Andromeda mention that she was supposed to be eaten by a monster because her mother Cassiopeia blasphemed and made Poseidon mad by claiming Andromeda was more beautiful than the Nereids. All nice and good as the Nereids were supposed to be extremely beautiful, including Amphitrite, Poseidon's wife herself, but the thing comes in when you remember that the Nereids had a brother called Nerites, who was even more beautiful than them, and who was Poseidon's first serious relationship besides his wife. No wonder he got pissed off, she was badmouthing both his wife and his boyfriend!
7. There's some poetic justice in the fact that Narcissus, who saw himself as an unattainable treasure, got transformed into a flower — something that literally anybody can take and do with as they wish.
8. The anger the Olympians felt when they discovered Tantalus' crime makes even more sense when you remember that at least Hera, Poseidon, Hestia and Demeter (Hades wasn't present at the time) all know how it feels to be eaten by your own father.
For Hades' part, it certainly explains why he'd give Tantalus such a torturous punishment in the afterlife.
Made worse by Tantalus being the son of ZEUS.
9. Why are all the gods (save Hestia) prone to so much hypocrisy, violence, sexual assault, and abuse? Well, each god is typically associated with either an aspect of nature (such as the oceans, plants, weather, etc.) or emotions and biological reactions (bloodlust, love, sexuality). As such, the gods are less like people, and more akin to forces of nature; the gods, like nature, are indifferent to humanity, so sometimes they’ll harm people when they’re angry, reward people when they’re happy, etc.
10. Some of Typhon and Echidna's offspring, such as Cerberus, Ladon, the Caucasian Eagle and the Colchian Dragon were utilized by the Olympians in some way despite the fact that they were the offspring of their Nr. 1 Enemy. Sounds odd...but when you think about it, it's actually genius. It's an excellent way to prevent the monsters from running wild and destroying stuff, whilst simultaneously taking advantage of their destructive tendencies.
11. Why is Hades such a faithful husband (Leuke and Minthe were later Roman additions) when both of his brothers are pretty unfaithful? Well, Hades has a very important job that never seems to end. He’s in charge of the Underworld and since someone is always dying, Hades is always very busy which means that he didn’t have time nor interest in having affairs. Also many couples were likely to be together in death. Perhaps Hades saw through those couples what it means to be a good husband. It does help that Hades is also far more mature than his brothers.
12. Nyx is one of the few beings Zeus is too afraid to face, having let her son Hypnos get away with messing with him since he went to his mom. Why's he scared of her in particular and not other primordial deities like Gaea? Depending on the myth Nyx is the mother of many personified concepts, and that includes the Fates...aka the one force even gods like Zeus can't overcome. Imagine how outclassed Zeus'd be if he had to fight their mom!
13. Why is Hestia the least problematic deity out of all Olympians? Cronus ate five of his children, and she was in there the longest. Perhaps the reason Hestia is the sanest and nicest of the six Olympians is because she as the oldest was forced to mature faster in order to take care of her younger siblings while they were trapped in their father's stomach. Hades being the second oldest and first son similarly assumed this role as well. Then we have Demeter, then Poseidon, then Hera and Zeus. While not a perfect graph, you could graph 'reasonable behavior' as being tied to 'who spent the longest in his stomach'.
Credits: TV Tropes
Greek Mythology Characters And Their MBTI Types
Note: I tried to include as many gods, demigods, mortals, creatures etc. as possible.
INTJ: Introverted Intuition (Ni), Extraverted Thinking (Te), Introverted Feeling (Fi), and Extraverted Sensing (Se);
Characters: Athena, Hades, Nyx, Diomedes, Nemesis, Moirai (The Fates), Minos, Ixion, Tantalus, Melinoe, Styx, Graeae, Erebus, Hydra;
INTP: Introverted Thinking (Ti), Extraverted Intuition (Ne), Introverted Sensing (Si), Extraverted Feeling (Fe);
Characters: Pandora, Scylla, Daedalus, Chaos, Urania, Sphinx, Coeus, Aergia;
ENTJ: Extraverted Thinking (Te), Introverted Intuition (Ni), Extraverted Sensing (Se), Introverted Feeling (Fi);
Characters: Zeus, Helios, Medea, Clytemnestra, Ouranos, Eteocles, Charybdis, Hyperion, Moros, Stheno, Nereus, Perses, Caucasian Eagle;
ENTP: Extraverted Intuition (Ne), Introverted Thinking (Ti), Extraverted Feeling (Fe), Introverted Sensing (Si);
Characters: Hermes, Odysseus, Prometheus, Oedipus, Sisyphus, Chimera, Eris, Atë, Enyo, Damocles, Proteus, Momus, Apate, Niobe, Hermaphroditus, Hippomenes;
INFJ: Introverted Intuition (Ni), Extraverted Feeling (Fe), Introverted Thinking (Ti), Extraverted Sensing (Se);
Characters: Hestia, Hecate, Psyche, Circe, Oizys, Chione, Medusa, Cassandra, Iphigenia, Selene, Asclepcius, Chiron, Okeanos, Aether, Theia, Harmonia, Phoebe, Asteria, Astraeus, Alcmene, Callisto, Geryon and Orthus;
INFP: Introverted Feeling (Fi), Extraverted Intuition (Ne), Introverted Sensing (Si), Extraverted Thinking (Te);
Characters: Persephone, Hypnos, Morpheus, Orpheus, Eurydice, Pygmalion, Antigone, Amphion, Plutus, Ariadne, Zephyrus, Euterpe, Hemera, Lethe, Bellerophon, Melpomene;
ENFJ: Extraverted Feeling (Fe), Introverted Intuition (Ni), Extraverted Sensing (Se), Introverted Thinking (Ti);
Characters: Apollo, Gaia, Atlas, Aeneas, Nike, Peitho, Peleus, Admetus, Calliope, Cadmus, Iasion;
ENFP: Extraverted Intuition (Ne), Introverted Feeling (Fi), Extraverted Thinking (Te), Introverted Sensing (Si);
Characters: Dionysus, Eos, Icarus, Thalia, Ganymede, Polynices, Tyche, Philomela, Aglaea, Euphrosyne, Phaethon, Io, Iolaus, Clymene, Amphitryton;
ISTJ: Introverted Sensing (Si), Extraverted Thinking (Te), Introverted Feeling (Fi), Extraverted Intuition (Ne);
Characters: Thanatos, Penelope, Electra, Clio, Echidna, Charon, Argus, Adrastea, Geras, Glaucus;
ISFJ: Introverted Sensing (Si), Extraverted Feeling (Fe), Introverted Thinking (Ti), Extraverted Intuition (Ne);
Characters: Demeter, Patroclus, Cyparissus, Telemachus, Ismene, Leto, Mnemosyne, Macaria, Polymnia, Leda, Thetis, Amphitrite, Maia, Euryale, Amalthea, Merope;
ESTJ: Extraverted Thinking (Te), Introverted Sensing (Si), Extraverted Intuition (Ne), Introverted Feeling (Fi)
Characters: Hera, Poseidon, Cronus, Creon, Cerberus, Agamemnon, Menelaus, Zelus, Themis, Pentheus, Boreas, Zethus;
ESFJ: Extraverted Feeling (Fe), Introverted Sensing (Si), Extraverted Intuition (Ne), Introverted Thinking (Ti);
Characters: Hector, Perseus, Echo, Erato, Rhea, Eileithya;
ISTP: Introverted Thinking (Ti), Extraverted Sensing (Se), Introverted Intuition (Ni), Extraverted Feeling (Fe);
Characters: Artemis, Hephaestus, Polyphemus, Typhon, Pontus, Tartarus, Keres, Lycaon, Zagreus, Erychthonius;
ISFP: Introverted Feeling (Fi), Extraverted Sensing (Se), Introverted Intuition (Ni), Extraverted Thinking (Te);
Characters: Narcissus, Achilles, Helen of Troy, Eros, Hebe, Andromeda, Iris, Orestes, Adonis, Triton, Endymion, Danae, Hyacinthus, Daphne;
ESTP: Extraverted Sensing (Se), Introverted Thinking (Ti), Extraverted Feeling (Fe), Introverted Intuition (Ni);
Characters: Ares, Pan, Heracles, Kratos, Midas, Theseus, Ajax the Greater, Jason, Orion, Iapetus, Priapus, Tityos, Pelops;
ESFP: Extraverted Sensing (Se), Introverted Feeling (Fi), Extraverted Thinking (Te), Introverted Intuition (Ni);
Characters: Aphrodite, Paris, Calypso, Epimetheus, Terpisichore, Atalanta, Hedone, Hyppolita, Lamia, Achelous;
Heracles: Wishing Hera would leave me alone. 😔
Hera: Stop whining, muscle guy.
Heracles: You put snakes in my cradle on the day I was born. I have a lot to whine about.
Hera: Ugh, such a baby. 😒
Heracles: Yes, I was a baby, you psychopath!
I know that it may sound dumb, but I had this thought for a while.
Imagine you're a fisherman and you get drunk. It's already dark outside, so you cannot see anything too well around you either. Suddenly, you see something moving into the water. It looks like a snake. There is another, and another, and another... and then you realize that all of them seem to be attached to the same body. You freak out and turn back home. In the next days, you tell your family and best friends about what you saw that night. And because everyone hears what they prefer to hear and over exaggerate things just to make them seem greater than they already were, the legend of a snake with multiple heads slowly starts to appear. Years later, Hesiod includes that said monster in the Theogony, as part of the twelve labours of Heracles.
That's how an octopus accidentally became the source of inspiration for the Hydra.
Perseus' ass this, Theseus' ass that... when are we going to talk about Heracles' giant Gluteus Maximus?
Real footage of Heracles and Thanatos wrestling:
Could you sort the Greek gods/goddesses into the Hogwarts houses?
I'm pretty sure that I've already made a post about it a long time ago, but for some reason I cannot find it (😭). Anyway, let's try to sort the Greek Gods, again, into the four well known Hogwarts Houses: Mary Sues, Pure Evil, Quirky Nerds and Yellow (just kidding).
Zeus: Slytherin
Hera: Slytherin
Poseidon: Gryffindor
Demeter: Hufflepuff
Hades: Ravenclaw
Hestia: Hufflepuff
Athena: Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. But I'll sort her into Ravenclaw for now (though I can see her as a hatstall as well).
Hephaestus: Ravenclaw
Ares: Gryffindor
Aphrodite: Slytherin
Apollo: Ravenclaw
Artemis: Gryffindor
Hermes: Slytherin or Ravenclaw. Though I'm more inclined to put him in Slytherin.
Dionysus: I view him as a Hufflepuff, but good arguments could be made for Gryffindor as well.
Persephone: Hufflepuff or Slytherin. But I'll ultimately choose Hufflepuff since most of her interpretations as a power-hungry goddess or the ruthless Iron Queen are mostly people's headcanons, and in actual Greek Mythology she's a generous, helping figure.
Heracles: Gryffindor
Since a lot of Greek Mythology Retellings are more or less an excuse for P0rn and follow a similar pattern, I'm really surprised that there isn't one book inspired by that one myth where Thespius offered to Heracles his fifty daughters as a prize for killing a (not the Nemean one) lion, and he slept with all of them and left each one of them pregnant with a son either in fifty nights or only one.
Fifty Shades of Heracles when?
Apparently there was time when painters had no idea that infants aren’t supposed to have abs:
The worst part is that now I'm going to imagine that this is how baby Heracles looked like.
Found this painting of him by Sir Joshua Reynolds:
Are you really going to tell me that Jesus had a six pack as an infant but Heracles looked ordinary?
Apparently there was time when painters had no idea that infants aren’t supposed to have abs:
The worst part is that now I'm going to imagine that this is how baby Heracles looked like.
... and then the painting of Heracles reminded me of this painting of Zeus, since both of them have similar grumpy faces.
Then I remembered that both of them were painted by the exact same guy lol.
Apparently there was time when painters had no idea that infants aren’t supposed to have abs:
The worst part is that now I'm going to imagine that this is how baby Heracles looked like.
Anyway, back to buff babies: I've finally found these depictions of Heracles where he seems to have abs if you take a closer look.
I KNEW IT!
Apparently there was time when painters had no idea that infants aren’t supposed to have abs:
The worst part is that now I'm going to imagine that this is how baby Heracles looked like.
I've probably already talked about it, but I cannot get over this topic.
So Heracles' first labour was to kill the Nemean Lion, an animal whose skin couldn't be pierced by anything. In the most common version of the myth Heracles managed to do that by wrestling him to death. But then we also know that Heracles made himself a cape out of his skin, despite the fact that it was said to be indestructible. So how did he manage to do that in the first place?
Did he use an indestructible sword? Did he sew it with the lion's claws? Did he removed the lion's internal organs and then wore him like an onesie?
That would be quite hilarious, actually...
Nevermind, someone actually cared to give an explanation to this part:
"a god" *Athena watching Heracles struggling with the lion's skin and laughing her ass off until she got bored of this show and gave him the idea*
Yup, this is exactly what happened don't ask me!
I've probably already talked about it, but I cannot get over this topic.
So Heracles' first labour was to kill the Nemean Lion, an animal whose skin couldn't be pierced by anything. In the most common version of the myth Heracles managed to do that by wrestling him to death. But then we also know that Heracles made himself a cape out of his skin, despite the fact that it was said to be indestructible. So how did he manage to do that in the first place?
Did he use an indestructible sword? Did he sew it with the lion's claws? Did he removed the lion's internal organs and then wore him like an onesie?
That would be quite hilarious, actually...
Perseus was both Heracles' half-sibling and great-grandfather, so imagine 90yo Perseus, probably senile and blind as well (assuming that he was still alive back then), finding out from Andromeda (assuming that she was still alive too) that their granddaughter's newborn just killed two snakes at hours old as if it was nothing. He would be like: "Wow, already a strong boy! He takes after me." then he would give a second thought to it and be like: "Oh..."
Okay, but it's ironic to see how Perseus (one of the guys who never cheated on his wife and could actually keep a stable relationship) happens to be the great-grandfather of Heracles (four wives, lots of affairs and at least one rape from what I've managed to find about him). Perseus wasn't present during his childhood and it shows.
Day 7 of #rorweek2021 - Free Day / Halloween
It's the final day, so I did Halloween :)
With the event coming to a close, I wanna say thanks for the support throughout the week ∑d(°∀°d) it means a lot to me, especially if you enjoyed my fanfics that came out from this event.
If you haven’t done so, feel free to check out the fan event, Record of Ragnarok AU Week 2021 on Twitter @rorweek2021 for more works such as artworks and fanfics from other content creators participating in the event!
Thank you ^_^