Durarara - Tumblr Posts
honestly, looking at izaya's life from a third person pov, it's just... sad? like.
here's this guy who touts himself as something akin to a god and a master manipulator and someone to be feared, and he IS very good at what he does, except... when you take a look at the rest of his life, you see a mid-20s man who has no friends, nobody who really likes him- his clients fear him, his secretary isn't fond of him, and the one friend he DOES have is honestly kind of a garbage friend. and when people draw attention to this, izaya goes on this spiel about how this friendship is so intricrate it can't possibly be understood by an outsider, but what's REALLY happening is that shinra routinely doesn't care for izaya on a personal level via ignoring and ostracizing him, and izaya kind of just. takes it up the ass
he sees everyone around him as an object and the sad thing is everyone, in turn, sees HIM as an object- less an actual living being and more an abstract concept, or at least something that only exists for others to gain something from. it's this vicious cycle of izaya keeping everyone at arm's length and denying his own humanity, which in turn leads to people also denying his humanity, unknowingly feeding into this fucked up cycle of self depracation that most likely started when he was a child- his parents didnt see him as a person, just a mouth to feed and later, a way to have the life they wanted while still appearing respectable- they had kids, just like society said they should, but theyre not obligated to care for them.
and the one person who DOES notice there is something unhealthy going on can't be assed to do anything about it- in volume 9, shinra explicitly says that he doubts izaya expects to live long enough to die of old age- celty actually agrees with him! celty not being assed about it i'd expect, she already hates izaya and doesn't actually know all that much about him, but shinra at least should realize that there's something off about the whole situation. wether thats out of apathy or he just genuinley doesnt believe izaya is being unhealthy, i don't know.
but as it stands, here's a man who insists he can't be manipulated and that he's in control, who's... routinely mistreated by his only friend whom he still talks to and expects some sort of closeness from, and who ultimatley not only loses control, but loses it so spectacularly that he ends up disabled, possibly permanently. i KNOW the spinoff novels said he couldve walked if he went to physical therapy, but "ability to walk" does NOT equal "not disabled anymore."
like... it's just. a sad life! it's a horribly sad existence of a perpetual misery cycle that izaya not only doesn't pull himself out from but actively perpetuates via constantly giving in to his worst impulses and keeping everyone away from him via said impulses, ensuring nobody will notice anything wrong, and that people who DO notice and DO realize its unhealthy, won't give enough of a shit about him to help
man you know that one trope where the enemy comes to the protag's house (or vice versa) when they're hurt and is like "i didnt know where else to go"
i fuckin love that like. unconscious draw dynamic with shizaya where only when they're not in their right mind (probably from blood loss or sleep deprivation) do they start to unconsciously seek each other out
like they'll just start walking and not really know where they're going but they find themselves at each others' houses and by the time they realize where they are, the other one's already opened the door and is frozen
or like. shizuo doesnt even realize he's trailing izaya's scent until he runs into izaya himself, or izaya doesnt realize he's headed to ikebukuro until the train comes to a stop and he's like oh. huh
shizuo's walking around idly when he catches a glimpse of izaya bleeding as he runs away and izaya's thinking that he can't get caught by shizuo right now because shizuo will definitely hurt him, but shizuo chases after izaya anyway and he's not even sure why because it's not anger clouding his actions anymore but something else (concern?? nooo it couldnt be)
shizuo's always been better at sensing izaya through raw instinct than izaya is at sensing him but when izaya's tired enough to let go of some of his repressed emotions and constantly-running brain he finds that his instinct carries him to shizuo as well
like. just the magnetic force between them. i need more of it the flavor is so good because sometimes they dont even want it to be there. izaya comes to shizuo and he's like fuck. i need to go home and sleep off this fucking bullet wound why am i HERE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
or shizuo gets a bad feeling out of nowhere and he's like damn the flea must be getting stabbed in an alley somewhere. dont care (he sets out on a walk a few minutes later and if he unconsciously starts checking alleyways that's no one's business but his own) (he doesn't actually find izaya dying in an alleyway but he does find a gang looking for him and maaaybe he roughs them up bit)
so insane over how subconscious their attachment to each other is please give me more fics about it lest i write them myself because this post already contains like 5 different fanfic plots
out of all the izaya alternates, i think my favorite and the most interesting one (tho i Am biased) is hachimenroppi
and like, its just interesting to think how you could take this theoretical character- and what if roppi was the same as izaya on the surface, but also not?
he does the same things but with different motives behind it- rather than izaya, who worries about nonexistence, roppi worries most about legacy and importance, hence he does want to cause the three way gang war and die in it, but as a way to ensure that he's going to be remembered for a long, long time. and unlike izaya, roppi DOES call this act a suicide- he doesnt shy away from the concrpt of death. he finds humans stupid, annoying, and beneath him- which is why he toys with them! he likes to see the silly, irrational ways humans deal with stimuli, as opposed to himself, whos totallly logical and rational all the time. toooooootally.
izaya, i think, embodies anxiety- his whole arc, at its core, stems from thanatophobia. when someone pokes a hole in his armor, he tries to either forget about or rationalize it. his leitmotif is LITERALLY called "he's such a coward that he can laugh." roppi is commonly portrayed as misanthropic and suicidal- so he clearly embodies depression as a contrast to izaya. but that doesnt mean they DONT have traits of the other! izaya is well aware of his own anxiety, but denies his own lonliness and possible suicidality. it would be very interesting if roppi was well aware of his depression, but denied his anxiois traits.
and then itd be super cool if they met somehow- perhaps a suicide pact? who knows!!! idk lmao just some thoughts
another bad take from that one post (we ALL know the one) that kinda got buried under all the ableism is that izaya's mistreatment of those suicidal girls was a just action and done out of pity for, like, "actual" suicidal people?
like. analyzing izaya's relationship with suicide and why he has this... uh.... "hobby" in general is super interesting, and here its just the most blandest woobified interpertation of it possible
like- if izaya IS mentally ill and the symptoms of said mental illness are why he's Like That, it creates this interesting thought of, suicide is the natural endpoint of those girls' mental illnesses, and izaya's actions are the natural endpoint of his. suicide is both a) understandable from the standpoint of how it reduces (er, eliminates) the victim's suffering and b) incredibly hurtful and damaging to those in the victim's perprhiary. AND notwithstanding suicide, mentally ill people whos symptoms cause them to hurt others are (generally) given compassion and understanding for their symptoms, while still being held accountable for the harm they've caused.
so if izaya's actions are from untreated mental illness, can they be seen thru this same framework? about how his actions are understandable from his perspective since they (at least in the moment) migitate his suffering, but are also extremely hurtful? and that, because everyone around him wants him to be held accountable or for karma to get his ass, without having any compassion or understanding of his symptoms, that a fundamantal aspect of this setup is missing and that's why nothing ever seems to change? because people see him not as a mentally ill person deluding himself into thinking that his symptoms are all active decisions made by him that he's in control over, while actively losing control of them, but as an iredeemable and actively malicious man who genuinley IS on top of things and orchestrated literally everything- basically, believing the lie he puts on for people, including himself?
and another angle is WHY he fixates on suicide specifically. was he suicidal in middle school when he was more reserved? does it have ties to his thanatophobia in that he wants to understand what drives a person to suicide, only to be repeatedly dissapointed when its mundane reasons AND that they're scared of dying? (ergo, something COULD happen to him that can drive him to suicide, since these girls were driven to it by a mundane event- AND that his fear of death will not save him from these urges)
does he realize that his plan to die in battle DOES count as a suicide, and he's projecting those feelings onto other people and focusing on their suicidal ideation instead of his own?
it's a fascinating topic!!!
My issue with Izaya being a damsel in distress who needs Shizuo to save him is like. Do yall not remember Yodogiri Jinnai lmao. Izaya got stabbed and the moment he got his bearings back he tore that whole shit down just to prove a fucking point. Shizuo doesn’t need to rescue Izaya, at best Izaya would have him there just to show off a little or because he wants to see Shizuo beat someone’s ass not because he needs him there
And if he did ever get helped without asking for it first he’d be such a little angry bitch about it. He’d be snarling and clawing and spitting the whole time not whimpering and saying “thank you” he’s a prick for a reason
Do you have any angst headcanon about shizaya? Or just izaya because I am sad I need them to be sad too but I'm interested in your headcanons!
*QUEUE HYSTERICAL WEEPING AND SOBBING READING THIS ASK* ............................................................................thank u 😭😭😭
I will do both Izaya and Shizuo and Shizaya because I love and hate them separately but equally and I would inject their bottled relationship directly into my veins sometimes.
Anyway,
Izaya:
Izaya 100% spent his birthday entirely by himself at least once when he was a kid. He didn't really think of it as a big deal until he realized that his classmates would get acknowledged and gifted things on their birthdays and it was just like an 'oh okay, that's one of those things about me that aren't normal' moment.
I think Izaya would be the type to cry just because every once in a while. It's probably why he talks to himself honestly. He just needs to feel like someone else is responding so he won't be tempted to start knocking around in that head of his and once again start his long-standing debate on if he hates himself or not.
I HC that he had a conversation with Shinichi Tsukumoya about why Shizuo hates him one time and Izaya did not come out of that conversation with a whole lot of dignity, hating Shinichi Tsukumoya even deeper by the end of it, and hating Shizuo deeper via proxy.
Is probably vaguely aware of the fact that Namie pities him and compensates for and tries to combat this fact by pranking and annoying her at work. Spoiler alert Izaya: it just makes her feel even worse for you, and possibly remind her of her little brother a little bit oops.
I know this one isn't that popular but I hc him as being very weird about physical intimacy with strangers, like even hugs or pets on the head? He's good at playing it cool when it's someone he's trying to keep up the act around and being latched onto the arm by someone has become old hat by now, but he's probably the stiffest hugger you ever felt (but also at the same time if he IS comfortable with the person he's very good at giving physical affection but this isn't sad so it goes in small)
He's probably never had anyone tuck him into bed before. If he fell asleep somewhere that wasn't his bed, he'd have to pick himself up and go get into bed himself rather than being carried.
The fact that he canonically can't cook for himself very well implies that he either ate mostly junk food (which he also canonically dislikes) or he went out all the time, so imagine this little 15 year old kid frequenting restaurants by himself paying for full course dinners (which is very common in Japan but STILL what a lonely bastard).
Probably has a lot of restless nights at present day in canon as he lives most of his life in pain. He can still shower by himself though which means he probably spends time in his bathroom crying about how hard his life is and how much he hates himself (confirmed).
Okay Izaya, I'm done picking on you. Now Shizuo!
He probably rarely gets to hug anyone and even when he does it can never be more than like. A light squeeze if that. He's going to crush someone. It's not a matter of maybe. It's guaranteed. With that said, please ignore that fanfic writers let him hug as much and as hard as he wants. Or not, do what you want.
He's probably only really held hands with his brother and like a small handful of individuals. Touching Shizuo is probably really intimidating because if he moves against you or moves in any way that your body might resist, he is likely to hurt you. He made Masaomi flip into the air with a flick. People are justifiably afraid of him.
In contrast to how I feel about Izaya, I think Shizuo has not cried in a long time. He probably doesn't even know if he can cry. Wonders if the only emotion he can feel nowadays besides dull calm is rage. Of course logically he knows that he feels things like normal but the extreme feelings probably feel very vague compared to rage.
While he has traveled some in the novels, I still get the feeling that unless something drastically changes in his life, he will be stuck doing the same thing in Ikebukuro for the rest of his life. The novels do imply that Tom is considering moving on with his career and if that's the case I'm not entirely sure what that would mean for Shizuo, but. Shizuo is still in a place where he has to count on others to protect his way of life.
I hc that the real reason he couldn't take Yuigadokusonmaru (the cat) wasn't simply because he didn't have time/space, but because he was afraid any prolonged period of time spent with a small animal would result in him harming him by accident, which is probably also why Shizuo doesn't keep a pet. (However it does look like Kasuka would trust him with his pet and in all honesty I think he'd be fine but Shizuo just thinking he can't have a pet because he might hurt it hurts me.)
Has definitely broken furniture in his apartment and just had to go without for a little bit; which isn't super sad or anything but that's such a frustrating fact to just have to live with.
I doubt he's the type to sit and brood by himself, but he probably did spend his more formative years wondering what the hell was wrong with him or what the hell he did to deserve the life he was dealt. He looks back on those years of self pity with irritation and embarrassment even though sometimes he feels like he hasn't found the answer.
Just as much as Izaya has PTSD from their fight, I hc Shizuo as having some semblance of trauma formed from the events of that night, even if it's not as extreme. I just can't make sense of Shizuo just making it out of that fight completely unmarred or bothered by anything besides just wondering if he and Izaya could have gotten along. Something had to have triggered it.
Are we ready for Shizaya angst now?? Always. Tw: break up scenarios
Neither of them have ever been in a serious relationship and you know what?? They are bad at it!! Very bad! They say things that hurt each other all the time, sometimes cutting deep old wounds they didn't even realize were there! And you know what? They're both manchildren. They don't know how to process that healthily all the time. So sometimes the only thing they're held together by is knowing that this thing between them is Good and that they're both better than the other acted like they were and that's okay.
Shizuo probably accidentally hurts Izaya more than once, just from forgetting how feeble Izaya actually is. He can literally give him a bruise with a flick on the forehead. It's not good. Shizuo has to learn restraint, which is historically not something he is good at. Would this work in a real life relationship??? Absolutely not. If your partner accidentally physically abuses you, you don't need to be together and they need to work on themselves. PSA over.
Neither one of them knows how to seek out physical or emotional comfort because they are both so accustomed to looking after themselves from the majority of their adult lives (and most of their childhood let's be read), so they might need or desire something and have no idea how to begin communicating that.
They are probably both terrible kissers at first. I don't imagine Izaya as a well practiced natural kisser even if he probably understands in theory. They're probably both way up in their own head, and definitely convinced that there's something wrong with themselves personally. You know, like teenagers might think.
They both know exactly what to say to cut each other down, because... they used to be enemies, you know? Still are in some Shizaya cases. And when they're angry at each other, it's difficult to hold anything Back. They sometimes insult to hurt, and that's something they have to learn to stop doing.
I, of course, think Shizaya are soulmates and could make each other the best possible versions of themselves, however ultimately I think if Shizuo decided that he and Izaya weren't right for each other he'd leave because he wants what's best for both of them, while Izaya would stay because he could never let go of the individual feeling of love he felt for Shizuo, and unlike Shizuo I don't think Izaya could ever fall out of love. It's not a matter of I think one loves the other more or that one is more codependent or toxic, but rather that all love looks differently from person to person and Izaya's love is like a lobster's love for its mate and Shizuo's is just too unselfish.
I also hc that Shizuo's more romantic than Izaya so if he felt like Izaya was better off/happier with someone else then he'd move on whereas Izaya would need prompting. While I think there is a slim chance that Izaya would take revenge if Shizuo got a new partner, he's more likely to just slink off into the shadows never to be seen again, especially by Shizuo. Which, Shizuo would never cheat imo. Never ever never.
I hc that Izaya asks Shizuo a lot of hypothetical, irritatingly dark questions ('Would you find love again if I died tragically in front of you?' and the like) with the front that he's just trying to annoy Shizuo but really he's just anxiously trying to confirm Shizuo's continued interest in the relationship (which Shizuo usually does by answering seriously or by being so sarcastically dry about it that Izaya knows he's joking).
Anyway thank you thank you thank you for asking me for headcanons it's such an honor always to be asked for headcanons and rants and my thoughts about anything. *blows kiss*
I can't remember the specifics of when Izaya started getting access to the underground but I'm guessing it was pretty young for normal standards...actually given the common trend of gang warfare maybe not. But I feel like he got a little more deep into it than any of the colour gang leaders did. Like didn't he get recruited by Kine?
Anyway, given that and his apparent brilliantness its no wonder so little was done about his delinquency. Even his fights with Shizuo. Like imagine being a teacher for him, and trying to inforce the rules, only to have the knowledge that some yakuza guy has got this kids back for whatever reason. "Oil barrels? I don't see no oil barrels?"
On one hand, no wonder he comes off as a little bratty, but can you blame him? You try being a teenage guardian to two younger sisters. I can see why he might have signed up for an easy route too. I know his parents might have sent him money, but how much of that would really help him? He's a student, if something else came along that allowed him to afford a babysitter I wouldn't blame him for taking the deal.
And imagine growing up where some of the only adults in your life were criminals.
There are so many things that tie into how fucked up he is.
Art by EroMkk
Posted with Permission (reprint/edit and/or commercial use prohibited)
Shizaya week 2022 Day 3: there was only one bed
...and they spend all the night fighting over it. At the end, any of them slept on it.
hey bestie. Izaya from durarara. I need the hottest takes.
Whoever you are, you are my best friend.
My hot takes are as follows:
- I don’t care how smart or manipulative he was, Izaya was too young to fully understand the gravity of working with the Yakuza when he started as a teenager and all of the adults involved in making that decision groomed him.
- I am a firm believer that Izaya would have gone on to live a relatively normal life if he had never met Shinra. Shinra getting stabbed was when his life took a turn for the worst.
-Shizuo is just as much responsible for the way their first meeting went as Izaya is. In fact, Shizuo fucking started it.
- Shizuo and Shinra are just as bad as Izaya in a lot of ways, but the difference is that the people around them (Celty) find reasons to excuse their shitty behavior. All three of them are terrible people who gravitated towards each other.
- Izaya’s childhood was bad, and the fact that he doesn’t seem to realize that makes it so much worse.
-Other people who were in Izaya’s life (mainly those who were adults) need to take more responsibility for the way Izaya turned out since they had the power to stop it. This includes Celty, who has been an adult the entire time and has assumably known Izaya SINCE HE WAS 12. (Someone ask me about Celty bc she is my least favorite character).
- None of the things above make Izaya a “good person”, but they do make him a more nuanced character than the show and the fans give him credit for.
god i cant stop talking about shizaya it's 1:51 am
shizaya was literally built for outsider pov fics like their impact on ikebukuro is so huge in both izaya's behind-the-scenes manipulations and their blatant fucking destruction
i read a fic where kasuka described them as a tourist attraction which is the funniest shit ever
anyway you could like. walk down the street and see a knife embedded in some street sign and be like welp that's shizaya for you
there's so much you can do with outsider pov. obviously there's shinra who unfortunately is very aware that they're in love with each other but it's not like either of them would ever listen to him
but shinra can see the quieter ways they express their affection (established relationship, mutual pining OR mutual oblivious pining) in throwaway comments or furtive glances and stuff like that
like shizuo gets a phone call from someone while he's getting treated at shinra's and shinra can immediately tell it's izaya just from the way that shizuo's body tenses up with a weird sort of both aggravation and anticipation and he doesn't even realize that he's smiling and waves it off as one of those annoyed grins
or how izaya just doesn't stop talking about shizu-chan and is always planning something new to fuck him over
as opposed to erika who can see like. the clear glee in izaya's phase whenever he gets a rise out of shizuo + the fact that shizuo chases him so persistently and izaya will sometimes stick around instead of just taking off and continue to tease shizuo until he's caught his breath
kadota is more in the shinra category and celty is in the "god im so homophobic (but only for those two)" category and then you can have like the raira trio with their shallower but not unobservant perspectives
shiki is like izaya. bro. you had a job to do for me today so what is this?? and turns on the TV and it's just footage of izaya flirting with shizuo on main and izaya is like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh not my fault that protozoan won't stop chasing me
and the tv shows shizuo getting hit by a billboard and izaya stopping and leaning over him and poking him in the cheek
and shiki just looks at izaya deadpan and izaya's like. well. id get in trouble if i killed him in the streets dont look at me like that shiki-san
OH AND SIMON simon is so unaffected i love whenever he's like "oh you're friends now? sweet come have some sushi" in fics as if he hasnt watched and prevented their beefing for like 10 years
it's just so good ugh the way their relationship is on clear display but also so hidden and instinctual but intentional
they are made of contradictions and opposites but that's what binds them so tightly together and that's why they try to keep their distance but can't help chasing after each other anyway GFJFDKHKHHSJSKHGKGDKJSD
So, some notes about Shizuo and Izaya.
A. In the beginning, Izaya does NOT keep close tabs on Shizuo. In fact he must practically be avoiding information about him in order to miss that Shizuo was fired from that bartending job.
B. Izaya doesn't actually run away all that much. Sure he avoids being hit (the heck else is he gonna do, let Shizuo behead him with a lantern pole?) But he actually doesn't run, and instead fights back fiercely and aggressively.
C. They actually talk pretty calmly most of the time. Izaya pisses Shizuo off, but it's not in the blind, trashing in anger kind of way and it probably never was. If anything I kind of think Izaya is the angrier one.
D. As he doesn't run, the reason most fights end is actually not because he gets away, but simply because other people interfere and stop them; in most cases, Simon. And as illustrated by the April's fools story, sometimes Kyohei.
E. Izaya actually doesn't come to Ikebukurou often, he really mostly just comes for work, or for personal projects; certainly not to bother Shizuo. At least at this point in time the 'entertainment' definitely does not outweigh the risk of brain damage.
F. Shizuo supposedly hates Izaya because he talks too much, but considering Shinra arguably talks more, I'm gonna go with the other side; He hates Izaya because Izaya is too logical and rational. And on his part, Izaya hates Shizuo because he doesn't listen to reason- at all. Kind of obvious, that one.
G. Shizuo knows perfectly well that Izaya is lonely and longs for connection just like he does. It doesn't inspire any kind of pitty or care, and doesn't make him any more reasonable about it.
I. Izaya doesn't normally even have time to play around even if he wanted to. This may be subject to change once he has Namie working for him though.
soundtrack: Foster The People - Pumped Up Kicks
a little commision for a friend :)
That was... something, donno where this style came from, I'm actually surprised
Grocery shopping
I'm a sucker for supernatural creatures having to do with mondane things
Not even doctors are immune to colds
Grocery shopping
I'm a sucker for supernatural creatures having to do with mondane things
Name your Top 10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms
I was tagged most recently by @mou-ikaihaikyuu to do this uwu
So... I have a million and one favorite boys (*´ω｀*)
1 - Haikyuu! Tied with - Tsukishima Kei and Tendo Satori.
Kuroo Tetsuro!!
2 - Hellsing
Alucard Van Hellsing!
3 - Tokyo Ghoul
Uta!!
4 - Durarara!! Tied with Walker Yumasaki..
Absolute Garbage!! Izaya Orihara!
5 - GANGSTA. Tied with Nicholas Brown, Doug, and Delico..
Mikhail!!
6 - My Hero Academia. Tied with Hanta Sero and Dabi.
Tomura Shigiraki!!
7 - Dance With Devils!
Shiki Natsumezaka!!
8 - Black Butler. Tied With Prince Soma and Alois Trancy.
Sebastian Michaelis!!
9 - Nanbaka!! Tied with Samon Gokuu, Jyugo and Uno.
Kiji Mitsuba!!
10 - Assassination Classroom
Nagisa Shiota!!
I tag @rinfae @animesportboys @headcanonsxheadcanons @lordexplosionmurder-imagines @sakamaki-and-mukami-ask-box @writings-with-curves @bonkers-4-hatter @kokuroos @mcwritesbnha