Erwin X Fem!reader - Tumblr Posts

Why Do You Care Now?

Erwin Smith x fem!Reader

In which Erwin and reader get into an argument about the status of their relationship…

Angst, Erwin is an ass, fluff eventuality.

Your Pov

He doesn’t care about me. I was simply something that could satisfy his needs while he had spare time. He told me he loved me and that I was the reason he fought so hard for humanity. Now I know he told me sweet lies so I’d be caught in his trap. I was just a toy for Erwin Smith. This revelation makes me feel sick. I feel betrayed and yet I still love him. I truly do and I thought he did too, but it was all a lie. Every sweet word, every touch, every feeling was nothing more than a deception.

A few minutes earlier…

I walk into my lover’s office to deliver him reports. I also wanted to talk to him about our relationship and whether or not it would be okay if other people could know about us. I mean it doesn’t seem like a bad thing to ask about, right?

I knock on his door and hear him telling me to enter. I entered with a smile on my face. Seeing him always makes my heart fill with joy. Because this world is dangerous and death is around every corner, but being with Erwin makes me realize that it’s can also be beautiful. I set the reports on his desk as he send me a small smile.

“Hello Commander” I say

“Hello cadet” Erwin says with a serious expression.

“Here are the recent reports for you sir”

“Thank you cadet, that’ll be all”

“Actually sir, there is something I’d like to talk with you about.” I say nervously

“I have a minute to spare, so please” he says as he gestures to the seat in front of me.

“It’s about us. I was wondering if it would be okay if we could maybe tell people about our relationship? I mean we have been together for a while now, and I just though that it would be time to tell people.” I said with as much confidence as I could muster.

“Y/n I think you misunderstand what we are exactly.” Erwin says with a sigh

“Aren’t we together sir?” I question.

“No y/n you are simply someone that I have sexual relations with. You and I are nothing more that casual friends that have sex.” Erwin says while looking at me.

My heart drops at this sudden information and I’m confused on what he means.

“B-but Erwin you told me that you loved me. You do love me don’t you?” I say as tears start to form.

“I do not love you. I have never loved you. I only said that to you to satisfy your needs and to keep you around me. I’m far too busy for love. And even if I wasn’t, you’re not the person that I’d first choose. You’re a clingy annoying brat that is only good for sex. In fact I do not care what happens to you. If you were to die, then I would simply take it like everyone else that dies for this regiment.” He says with no ounce of remorse.

I sit there with tears now flowing out of my eyes. My entire heart feels like it’s been shattered. I can’t breathe. I thought he loved me? I’m nothing to him? He wouldn’t care if I died? This is not the same man I knew yesterday. The man I knew yesterday would have hugged me if I had asked. Or comforted me after a rough expedition. Or kissed me just because. The man I knew yesterday would tell me how important I was to him and how much he loved me. He would’ve told me that he would protect me and that he hoped one day we could live together and get married. That man I knew yesterday is no longer the man I see in front of me. This man is nothing but anger and he’s looking at me like I’m the most disgusting thing in this wretched world.

“Now Cadet if that’s all, you may take your leave” Erwin says coldly

I say nothing as I leave his office. For I cannot even speak. Hell, I can’t even think straight. Everything I had is now gone. He truly doesn’t care for me. My feelings for him don’t matter and neither does my life. Currently it feels as though I’m drowning in sadness unable to see the surface.

One month later during an expedition…

Beyond the walls is beautiful, it truly is. If it weren’t for the threat of titians, humanity would flourish out here. Currently the scouts are on an expedition. Our mission is to gather as much information as we can. This is set to be a several day expedition, but so far our losses exceed what we hoped. Yet the commander pushes us on with our mission.

At this point I don’t care if I live or die. This world is shit and the thing I loved most betrayed me. So now, I don’t believe I have a will to live. Erwin was the only thing I had. My parents were scouts and they both met their demise during an expedition just like this one. Maybe I’ll join them soon? Will anyone account my death if I were to die today? Will anyone care? Will he care?

My thoughts were interrupted my a large hand hovering over me. Before I could react, it grabbed me and began lifting me off my horse. I didn’t scream as it began crushing my bones. I didn’t cry as I saw it’s mouth opening and felt myself being pulled towards it. All I felt was relief. And for the first time in awhile, I feel happy. I’m going to die and that doesn’t scare me.

Suddenly I heard the sound of ODM gear. And the grip on my body loosened and I felt my body begin to fall. The fall was interrupted by someone grabbing me mid air. I felt dizzy and it felt like there was a blanket of blood covering my broken body. My eyes felt heavy and all I wanted to do was close my eyes. I’m so tired and I can’t feel my body. Before I closed my eyes I saw him. Erwin’s face is hovering over mine. Maybe I’m having one last hopeful imagination, but I think I see tears in his eyes. His mouth is moving, but I can’t hear any words coming out of his mouth. After a minute of looking at him I finally close my eyes and everything goes dark.

Erwin Pov

It’s been nearly a week since I saved y/n. She’s going to recover, but her body was bruised severely and several of her bones were broke. It’s a miracle that she was able to survive. The thought of her dying broke something in me. I know what I said to her. And if there were ever anything I were to regret, it would be the poison that I spoke to her on that day. Seeing her about to get eaten made me neglect my very duties as a commander. I broke formation to save her. Every logical thought I had was replaced with my desire to save her. I try being with her as much as I can, however my duties as a commander keep me away from her. I want to be there when she wakes up. I want to tell her that all I said to her on that day was nothing but lies. I want her to forgive me and love me the way that she use to. I want to tell her, hell, I need to tell her that I do indeed love her.

At first she was someone that I used to satisfy my needs. She was simply a means to an end. There was a time where the threat of her life would not have bothered me. But she slowly crept into my heart. She made me feel more passion that I thought was capable in this life. That scared me. I was scared of how she made me feel. In fear of losing her. But she’s alive and would have died if I didn’t save her.

Two Days Later…

I managed to get some spare time to see her today. Hange says that y/n should wake up soon. I’m hoping she does. I miss her and I’m desperate to tell her how I feel. She needs to hear what I have to say. I’m confident that she will forgive me if I just tell her. Right?

My thoughts are interrupted when I heard rustling next to me. I immediately went close to her just waiting for her to open her eyes. After a few more seconds, her eyes flutter open and my eyes meet with hers and I began to smile.

“Y/n, I’m so glad you’re awake. How are you feeling?” I asked her

“Erwin?” She whispered

“Don’t talk just yet let me get you some water. ” I say as I grab the glass of water by her bedside.

“Thanks” she say as she grabs the water from my hand and takes a small sip from it. After she’s done I take it from her and place it back on her bedside.

“Erwin, why are you here?” She questions

“Y/n, I’m here because I was worried about you. You nearly died, but I managed to save you from a titan. You’ve been asleep for little over a week now, but Hange says that you’ll make a full recovery.” I tell her

“Thank you for saving me Erwin, I truly appreciate that, but you didn’t answer my question”

“I’m here because I need to tell you that everything I said to you that say was a lie. I said those hurtful things to you because I was scared of telling anyone because I was scared. And y/n I am so sorry for what I said to you. And I hope that you can forgive me for what I’ve done to you. Y/n I love you and I want us to be together again. And this time I want us to be public with it. I’ll give you some time to think, but just know that I truly do want this with you.” I said to her sincerely hoping she would understand.

“Erwin, thank you for being honest with me. However I do not want to be with you.” She said

“Y/n you’re confused and you just woke up. Maybe give it a few days?” I said nervously

“Erwin I’m sorry but I cannot be with someone that said they wouldn’t care if I was dead. You lied to me and used me. Hell, I don’t even know if you’re telling me the truth. And why do you even care now?” Y/n said raising her voice.

“Y/n I am telling you the truth. So please give me this chance I will do better I promise”

“Please leave and don’t come and visit me again. I do not want to be with you. I will not allow myself to love you the way I use to. So please leave. You and I are nothing more than commander and cadet.” She says coldly.

“Y/n please.” I beg her

“Just go!”

I do as she says and I leave the room. I’ve lost her. If I had only showed her that I cared for her then, none of this would’ve happened. But at the same time I felt that my apology was good. She’s just not thinking rationally, so perhaps she’ll come back to me soon. That’s my hope anyway.

One Year Later

Your pov

My body took months to heal and because of how badly I was injured, I permanently have a slight limp in my leg. It stops me from being as efficient as I use to be, but I manage. I am no longer bothered by Erwin Smith. He was persistent about us being together again for months after I woke up. But now he’s ceased his actions and our relationship is strictly professional. He did promise me that I would be the only woman he’d ever love. And how he regrets his actions. I feel bad for him, but I’ve moved on and I’m much happier with my life.

I also found new love in someone that I trust. He’s a very strong soldier with a passion to help humanity. I admire and love him. He’s loyal and with him I never question whether or not he loves me or not. I’m so happy that we fell for each other. And we’re even public with our relationship. When I asked him he didn’t hesitate to say yes to the idea. His name is Mike Zacharias. He helped me get promoted to squad leader and I have yet to lose anyone. I feel accomplished with what I have done and who I have become. This world is dangerous, but now I have the passion to fight for my future.

•I do NOT own any characters except y/n•

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-L.W.L