Especially The Adventure Zone - Tumblr Posts

Jane: “Hi everybody, this is Jane, and welcome back to our podcast: Magical Bullshit! Today we will be doing some magical bullshit! Like always, am I right?”

Keith: “Jane.”

Jane: “Anyways, so you guys know that I am not the fantasy savvy one. So, logically, it should be Everett who leads this group. He should be the only one who decides what quests we do and what jobs we take. But I live to piss off Everett. So today, I have taken a job from a very shady elf to steal back an object, that he could give me no details about how it was stolen in the first place, from a suspicious looking woman. Joining me today is our good buddy, Keith!”

Keith: “Hey guys. I didn’t want to help her with this but she stole my last pair of normal world socks.”

Jane: “Keith is very enthusiastic to be here. Anyways, we did a little recon on this woman and I’m almost thirty percent sure she’s a witch. Which is good since I am immune to fire and that seems to be witches’ favorite thing to hurl at me. Keith is still very flammable but he’s prepared to use me as a human shield.”

Keith: “I am. Are you ready?”

Jane: “Yes! Hold on tight everybody! Things are about to get crazy.”

*sounds of crunching leaves and a stick snapping. A window opens*

*indistinct breaking in noises*

*very loud crash*

Jane: “Fuck’s sake, Ketih.”

*fireball sound*

Keith: “Sonofa—.”

*second fireball sound*

*phone drops and the noise becomes muffled. Either they are fighting the witch or someone spilled a very large pot of soup and is trying desperately to fix that mistake. Someone shouts something indstinct and the fighting stops. Several minutes pass before the phone is picked up.*

Jane: “Holy shit! Alright, so, Maggie here is actually not a thief! Turns out the shady elf is a dick who has been trying to steal from her for years. Now we’re gonna go fight him! I’m gonna turn this off for a while but I’ll turn it back on when we confront Dick Elf!”