Everything You Write Is So Funny I Can't - Tumblr Posts

Silvio: What the fuck is this?

src

Clavis: I thought you'd never ask! See, Cyran? Slapping pictures into peoples' faces works every time

Cyran: I would be concerned if it didn't...

Silvio: *rubbing his red forehead* You got five seconds to explain this bullshit before―

Clavis: Oop~ No need for threats. We're all friends here, hahaha!

Clavis: As you may have heard; my estate has started producing bottled spring water

Clavis: Because of how parched throats become at the sight of my unparalleled beauty

Clavis: I don't wish for anyone to succumb to dehydration on my account

Silvio: *scoffs* Seems like a 'you' problem from where I'm standin'. Ever thought of making yourself ugly? I got a boot primed for kicking the beauty out of every―

Clavis: Oop! *smacks Silvio with the picture again* Apologies, my hand slipped

Silvio: You're damned lucky I ain't got a kicking reflex like a horse

Cyran: Would you like to learn? I can teach―

Clavis: *smacks Cyran with another copy of the picture* Ahaha, silly me and my butterfingers

(twenty minutes later)

Clavis, drenched in lake water: Anyway, let me finish regaling you while Cyran fetches a towel and reflects on assisting a foreign prince in the public execution of his Beautiful Employer

Silvio: You ain't dead

Clavis: *smiling serenely* I'm dead inside from the betrayal

Clavis: So, as I was saying. We started manufacturing these water bottles, but we needed some way for people to understand how big they are

Clavis: Enter Brilliant Idea, stage left

Clavis: Have you ever wondered how many princes tall a thing is?

Clavis: Hahaha, I'm sure we've all wondered this at one point or another

Clavis: So I've done everyone the favor of mass-manufacturing our likenesses into an intricate set of clear, acrylic―

Silvio: I got just one question. Two, actually

Silvio: Is there one of me?

Clavis: Naturally!

Clavis: Ah. Cybird is a subsidiary of Lelouch Enterprises

Silvio: *struggling not to cry or kick Clavis back into the lake*

Silvio: And does that eyepatch bastard know you've sheared him in half?

Gilbert: *omniscient voiceover* Hehehe. What makes you so sure that all of you aren't having this conversation in the Afterlife?

Clavis: *serene smile* Told you I was dead

Emma: Ignore him. He doesn't care if you insult him, so long as you don't insult me

And that is why there is no Emma acrylic stand in the Nadema shop. The end.