F1 Movie - Tumblr Posts

So when I post my formula one dream reality on tiktok is cringe and corny but when Brad Pitt burns thousands of dollars on making his dream reality fanfic every f1 driver's problem then its called cinema

Bullshit

At first I thought I was just being dyslexic but uhh what the hell is a Hungaria??? Because I'm HUNGARIAN living in HUNGARY watching drivers drive at Hungaroring.... and uhhh yeah

LMFAO 😭 POOR PAUL

brad pitt dominance could bore fans…

i must not perceive the f1 movie. f1 movie is the mind-killer. f1 movie is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will ignore brad pitt. i will permit f1 movie to pass over me and through me. and when it has gone past i will turn the inner eye to see its path. where the f1 movie has gone there will be nothing. only homoerotic fandom yaoi will remain.

scenes that should be included in the brad pitt f1 film

(for legal purposes this is a joke, no one should support this film)

60 year old  brad pitt has to do the mandatory driver fitness test and almost collapses at the cardio. 28 year old carlos sainz does it next to him without hesitation or struggle two weeks after an appendectomy whilst wearing a mesh shirt

alex albon’s radio message calling brad pitt an ancient fuck after cutting the corner to smash the williams out of the way

leo leclerc and/or roscoe shitting next to brad pitt’s feet

damson idris’s character saying fernando’s “I knew he would brake because he has a wife and two children at home” quote. the wife and children will never be mentioned again or seen on screen. the romance will be exclusively between 60 year old brad pitt and the engineer woman half his age

damson idris’s character tweeting ocon’s my teammate tried to kill me but I survived tweet before getting drunk with a billionaire’s son

brad pitt attends a team principal’s meeting that goes oddly silent the moment that he walks in and three of the other team bosses immediately begin speaking to each other in italian. zak brown gives a sympathetic look but turns away, andreas seidl sniggers in german

four drivers call out brad and damson idris for their bullshit driving during the drivers’ briefing romain grosjean head of the gpda style. george russell ends the meeting with a powerpoint explaining to them why they are assholes

brad and damson idris have an emotional bonding moment where 60 year old brad reminds 32 year old damson idris that he is still young, still a rookie, and he has plenty of time to develop as, I assume, the lewis hamilton character insert despite lewis actually being in the film??? in the background kimi antonelli scooters past on his way to get a bath and bottle because it’s nearly his bedtime

k-mag hands over his stewards room loyalty card to brad pitt who gets a race ban

triumphant moment where the team finally scores a podium but the post-race inspection reveals that their car is wildly illegal and they are disqualified

stefano domenicali enthusiastically welcomes the american audience that brad pitt’s team brings, ross brawn is sat next to him listing off the many ways that their car does not comply with the fia’s safety standards

brad pitt and damson idris are battling for their lives at the back of the grid, max verstappen laps them

the engineer woman describes speed in kilometres. brad pitt tells her to explain it in “english”

a hilariously corrupt Italian businessman who bears absolutely no resemblance to flavio briatore none at all says something hilariously corrupt at a sponsor meeting. brad pitt nobly rises above it

fernando alonso sniffing plants in the background of every other scene

a blonde reporter/presenter has sexual tension with damson idris. when brad pitt asks who she is, he simply says “a girl I used to know” and looks longingly in the distance

michael and/or mario andretti with an axe demanding to know why it’s okay for brad pitt to have an 11th f1 team but not him, even though the andretti name is incredibly well respected in the motorsports world

Brad Pitt's new movie released it's first poster!!!!Wow! So cool!!! Anyway reminder that Brad Pitt physically assaulted Angelina Jolie and his kids on a plane (deliberately so that they had nowhere to run) he choked multiple of his children when they tried to defend their mother and spent the next few hours emptying the planes bottles of beer and red wine on their fucking heads. His kids are literally filing to have his last name dropped before they even turn 18.

Also reminder that Brad Pitt, who both stars in and is producing the film, is banking on YOU as a motorsport fan to be a built-in audience for this project. Don't do it. Seeing a cameo of the drivers for a few seconds is not worth the moral forfeit of giving this literal monster your money and support.