Fourcast - Tumblr Posts
⌛️TAPS FAQ⏳
What does TAPS mean? -> TAPS stands for Temporal Alignment Permeation Syndrome. It started popping up ~2019 when Fourcast began messing around with the SPORE device. Though I'm not the only one to have TAPS, I imagine it's pretty rare - I've yet to meet anyone else with it in-person. What does TAPS do? -> As the name suggests, my connection to the current time and reality my physical body exists in can be kind of tenuous, leading me to experience other realities and futures. Episodes are random and unpredictable, but thankfully mostly happen when I'm asleep (waking episodes can be pretty disruptive to my day, especially when the glimpses I get aren't the most cheerful :( ). How do you know you're not just dreaming? -> For one, I sometimes experience episodes while completely awake (I have no prior medical history of anything that would cause similar experiences to TAPS), and I can very clearly differentiate between the feeling of being in a dream and being in a TAPS episode. On top of that, Fourcast Lab has been researching TAPS since it started to affect people around 2019 and has confirmed its existence as a legitimate phenomena. How does TAPS affect you? -> It's very much a coin toss. Because it's random and I have no control over what I see, I can go a few weeks without experiencing any episodes, to having some pleasant/neutral experiences during an episode while asleep every couple of days, to dealing with some really harrowing visions during the day. There's good and bad in it, and I hope understanding more about TAPS will help me deal with day-to-day life with it.
How do you deal with TAPS? -> Therapy has been very helpful for me. TAPS can bring on some pretty heavy, existential questions, so having someone to talk to about it has been really important. In a way, interning at Fourcast Lab brings about its own sense of assurance; I know TAPS is taken seriously there and my experiences as someone who is both living with TAPS and trying to research it is unique and helpful when it comes to understanding it better. 4CL people get weird time stuff, so I've found a lot of support and understanding amongst my coworkers. My feelings about 4CL are kind of complicated as a whole, since, as far as theories go, their handling of SPORE is what led to people developing TAPS. I feel conflicted, in a way - as far as we know, developing TAPS is a freak accident, so I can't really be mad at 4CL because it's not like they were malicious, but at the same time...TAPS can be rough. Why do you want to research TAPS? -> Culmination of a few points from above: it's a relatively new and rare condition with little known about it, and I hope understanding TAPS better will help me, and other people living with TAPS, deal with it. Research into TAPS hasn't been that extensive, so I really want to help figure out the why/how/when of TAPS. What is one of your favorite experiences with TAPS? -> I've seen a lot of beautiful worlds through TAPS - in a lot of ways, I feel extremely, uniquely privileged to have these experiences. One that really sticks with me is having an episode while sleeping; I was at the highest point of a mountain range, a lavender sky stretched out overhead. The sun(s?) was just coming up, making pale, yellow streaks in the clouds above me. The sun reached down to the mountain faces around me, pitch black but shimmering in the light, like rippling waves of abalone. At my feet, the mountain I was on dropped off into a valley, overgrown with tree-like flora, leaves deep green and rustling. Curling through this alien forest, like a massive serpent on its belly, was a river of silver, ferocious in its perpetual voyage. The whole episode was so beautiful and serene, it's really stuck with me as an example of the beauty of possible futures and alternate realities, and made me feel really lucky to have TAPS. What is one of your worst experiences with TAPS? -> I was on the CTA during rush hour when I had an episode. Thankfully I was sitting down, but I was totally overcome with the vision of standing at the foot of a volcano as it erupted, a lightning storm battering the blazing peak and striking my surroundings. I heard a lot of commotion, but couldn't identify where it was coming from, and I couldn't move as the volcanic ash rained down upon me, dark and scorching, lava racing ever closer. It was viscerally terrifying, being at the complete mercy of extreme forces of nature. It took me a while to come out of the episode, and when I did I was a) very disorientated, tired, and still pretty scared, and b) had missed my stop by a pretty good margin. Needless to say that day's commute felt very, very long.
What if I have questions about TAPS -> Ask box is open! Feel free to drop me a message :).
Just got notified that 4CL is sending me to Germany on assigment
HUH???
Okay I've slept off my edible and double-checked with 4CL. I am actually flying to Germany early July for work. God gives His silliest clowns His funniest battles.
WAIT I NEDD TO FIND SOKEONE TO TAKE CARE OF MY CAT S H I T
Okay I've slept off my edible and double-checked with 4CL. I am actually flying to Germany early July for work. God gives His silliest clowns His funniest battles.
All told I'm gonna be traveling for like 16 hours straight.
Okay I've slept off my edible and double-checked with 4CL. I am actually flying to Germany early July for work. God gives His silliest clowns His funniest battles.
will probably not be posting much for the next few days as I scramble to get all of my paperwork together - hopefully I can document some of my flight out but obviously I have to make a pretty crazy turn around lmao
I FUCKING LIED SHIT IS NOT CHILLER IN GERMANY
✨minor life update✨ short and sweet of it: -Still in Germany -Don't have clearance from 4CL to disclose what I'm doing in Germany -I miss my cat so much -Got a new tattoo! long and savory of it: I've been in Germany for just about three weeks now, and will most likely not be returning to Chicago until late August/early September. Thankfully I left my cat in good hands and I don't have to worry about finding other people to look after her during this extended time away (but damn I miss her so much :'''') ). I don't have permission from the higher ups to talk about the stuff I've been doing with 4cast while here, but be rest assured things have been as hectic and unpredictable as normal with the lab. Other than that, I was dealing with some pretty rough TAPS episodes my first few days here - I think the stress of traveling (took me over 24 hours to get from Chicago to my initial assignment in Germany) and the new environment has been the cause. Haven't had much time to make some art out of it, but I guess the bright side is I have some good material for when I can get back to making collages? Giant butterflies and bees, big trees, melting disease. Not all of it has been pretty, and the frequent sleeping episodes did not help the jet lag. Regardless, doing better now and experiencing a more typical rate of episodes. Got a new tattoo, too! Forgot how much they hurt. Now I remember. But it looks really cool and I'm super happy with it! Hopefully I can make some more regular updates soon, but no promises. Just when things start to quiet down, they tend to get real rowdy again.
Hello. Update.
Still in Germany but will be leaving in a few days.
Fourcast owes me more than $20 for the past two months.
fuck fourcast fuck fourcast fuck fourcast I'm sososo close to making this into a blog for my cat jfc jfc jfc
sorry guys. can’t come in today. the creature
Hello from the depths!
Hi hi hi. I'm still kicking! Here's an update, from me to you:
I plan on being more active on here in the near future, as some fun stuff has been happening with me that has given me some more free time! First: time abroad for work is, as far as I know, wrapped up for the forceable future. Maybe one day you'll hear about my time in Europe (if 4CL gives me clearance to disclose :P - some of it was pretty silly + goofy, a lot of it was having an atrocious sleep schedule, missing my cat, and getting into my normal amount of trouble). Maybe I'll check with my boss and see if I can pass field notes? Could be big. Second: I graduated! Managing Fourcast time and school time was not easy at all, but now that the latter is wrapped up I will have more time for stuff that's not the Lab, which I desperately need. There are a lot of things I want to get back into the swing of (after I catch up on sleep), especially in terms of having something to focus my creative energy on; one thing is this page, making my little weird collages and all, but I have my little personal projects to keep myself entertained.
I've been running a (at best, semi-annual) DND campaign with some friends that I will hopefully be able to put more time into in terms of writing/planning/playing (I am the forever DM of my friendgroup, which has its pros and cons :,) ). I have also been incredibly tempted to get back into fanfiction writing lelelel - writing has kind of always been in my life, but it had to take a backburner these last few years and I've missed it, so being cringe but free may help me scratch that itch. Technically this is a personal blog so 4Cast couldn't stop me from posting fanfiction here, but if you're from the Lab and you're seeing this: you're not allowed to read my fanfiction. But who knows, maybe that will happen, maybe not? Maybe at the depths of a hyperfixation I'll be possessed to throw something out there.
But that's pretty much it :) happy pride month being queer rules ok bye now talk later yep sounds good ok bye
Crying sobbing throwing up falling over @lem0ngh0stt DREW ME AT WORK!!! :'))))) he captured the chaotic nature of my desk and my love of pins and sparkling water. He even threw in my cat, Hypnos, though unfortunately she does not often accompany me to the lab. Anyway I love this and my friends :]
work photos from the Lab :)!
These are all from a few days ago now.
Intern group photo with our bosses (something something this totally doesn't look like it was taken against our will; also this isn't everyone because as always 4CL has scattered us across many countries and continents for assignments). I think they may be putting this on the Lab's website or something? Still, I feel the most comfortable posting these with faces censored :).
Also I took my little digital camera into the actual lab with me and got some fun pics (while I totally wasn't procrastinating my work). Some stuff had to be blocked out before I was permitted to post, but I still think they're fun!
Do not ask what the thing covered in caution tape is. I have no idea. It was there before I got here, and will probably still be there after I am gone.
So yeah! I got called into the Lab very out of the blue (like, morning-of - probably so the interns that are still posted in the area could all be together??) and while the abrupt commute wasn't the most fun thing in the world, I ultimately enjoyed being around my coworkers and being productive for at least the day. Afterwards we got lunch (sans the bosses - too busy doing boss stuff to hang with us little guys) and it was honestly very refreshing. I gripe about the Lab from time to time, but honestly it's at time like these that I'm ultimately glad I have this position because I've befriended some pretty cool people and seen and done some pretty cool things.
Downtime at work, courtesy of my laptop's front-facing camera.