Gay Dating - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
Wait...what am I trying to get out of dating?
For the first time in my live I'm actually really thinking about what I want out of a relationship. It's never something I really thought about before because I thought that love or companionship was something that wasn't going to be afforded to me (not gonna lie, sometimes I still think this but I'm getting better at realizing that it's not true). I mainly avoided thinking about love or friendship because I thought I had nothing to offer anyone, and to be honest I kinda...don't? Don't get me wrong, I can offer myself but...what kind of a prize am I? And I know thinking about myself in this manner isn't conducive to finding a partner, but I'm honestly trying to think logically about this. I think I've always thought about relationships (platonic or romantic) in a transactional way. Like, you can only afford what you're capable of offering and if you have nothing to offer, there's nothing that you're worth to receive. The people who've managed to wind up in relationships don't look like me or sound like me, who they are as people was inherently valuable. I don't have that luxury and so...here I am, in my 30s alone. Don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware that this is mainly my fault. I could've and still could put myself out there more, but....it's so hard to get past the idea that i don't have anything to give anyone. I like the idea that of being the person who get's to welcome their partner home after a day of work, I like the idea of being someone's respite. I don't think I could be a stay at home wife or anything, but I like the idea of being a homemaker, or at the very least a domestic kind of person. But...I don't know how to approach another guy with that kind of life in mind, never mind approaching the kind of guy that I'm attracted to. ....This is exhausting to think about, I can only imagine what it's like to actually try and do it. And I still haven't even mentioned what I'm looking for in a partner. The more I think about it, all I really want is someone to be nice to me, lol. To treat me kindly and delicately, I want someone who wants to protect me. Jesus Christ that sounds so fucking corny, but it's honestly the only way I can think to put it. I don't want to be coddled, but I do want to be...cherished? I think that's the word that fits the best. I want someone I can be at peace, sitting in silence with. I want someone. to go to the beach with, or....I don't know. I'm getting embarrassed so I think I'm just gonna end it here.
I wish gays were as easy to find in real life as they are on tumblr
Wanting intimacy but not having anyone who to be intimate with is quite frustrating: I don't know how to meet people in a town I already feel is less populated than what I might need it to be to have a dating pool big enough to have a big enough sample of persons I like AND like me back. As it stands now, there's probably a small even number of gays here and they're all in relationships.