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Just A Crush

Tsunagu is very gay and very in love with Shinya but very scared to admit that Fluff

It all started when they were in high school. In the exam period, to be precise, when Tsunagu lay awake for nights. Not because he was studying so much. No, quite the opposite. He was awake because of a boy, younger than him and with long hair he had always hated. Always messy and unkempt and done in messy buns or even messier ponytails. It had bothered him ever since he had seen him for the first time. More than that, there has never been a single day where this boy had a neatly done tie or neatly worn clothes or even just tied shoelaces. In Tsunagu’s eyes, that boy resembled a gremlin more than he resembled a UA student. 

“How are you comfortable walking around like that?!”

“Like what?”

That had been their first interaction. In hindsight, that seemed quite harsh, but in that moment it had been the only thing Tsunagu had had in mind for this other student whose name he didn’t even know at that point.

“You're a mess. At least tie your shoes. And let me help with your tie.

“Okay. I’m Shinya by the way.”

From that moment, his mind hasn’t been still. Always running and running back to this mess of a person who, strangely enough, was starting to improve fast after this interaction. They spent more time together, mostly in the hallways before and after class. Those were the best moments of Tsunagu’s days even though they did nothing but talk, about trivial things, but it felt like so much more than that.

A lot more effort was going into Shinya’s appearance now, and that also didn’t leave Tsunagu’s mind. He simply couldn’t make sense of why neither version of this boy would leave his mind and why he wished to just sit with him and comb his hair. And help him find a better hairstyle. One that would be more heroic. Why he wanted to be with him and do anything, really. He would be happy just sitting there and listening to him talk while sewing. And maybe hang out after school and get ice cream. And hold hands.

Shit.

Tsunagu rubbed his eyes and got up to get a glass of water. He had the horrible feeling of knowing what all his sleepless nights and desperate waiting for any message and any chance to talk to Shinya meant. He knew it, for sure, deep down just below the denial. The cool water calmed him a bit and refreshed him but as he sat back down on the bed and checked the time on his phone, his heart skipped a beat.

‘Wanna hang out? I can’t sleep. Unless you’re busy studying.’

Various possible replies rushed through his brain, none of which seemed good enough to send. He wanted to say yes but it was past midnight and surely his mother wouldn’t like for him to go out that late. And the other shouldn’t be out at that time either, and they shouldn’t start this and form a bad habit out of it. For that reason alone, he knew that he really should say no.

‘Sure. By the park?’

‘By the park. Be there in 10!’

Never before had Tsunagu snuck out of the house; it wasn’t that his parents wouldn’t have allowed it but rather that it was simply unlike him. He left a note, though, just in case, and put on a jacket like his mother always told him to. And then out into the night he went; it was cold and some of the street lanterns weren’t working quite well and frankly, he was a bit scared. Class didn’t properly prepare you for walking around at night, sleep-deprived, and with nothing for defense but your own quirk. 

Luckily, it wasn’t a long walk and the lamps around the park were much brighter, thanks to the LEDs they used. Shinya was already waiting and waved with a smile when he spotted him. 

“Tsu!”

This made him pull his turtleneck higher into his face, to hide the soft blush that immediately formed on his cheeks. 

“Hello, Shinya.”

He replied simply, standing at a slightly weird distance from the shorter boy; really not wanting him to notice how flustered he was. Maybe it was because of the more formal school environment that he could push down his feelings there, or because he was so tired at that moment, but just looking at the other made him feel all warm despite the freezing air.

Shinya’s hair was done, in a sharp angle on the front and spikes in the back which likely took a lot of effort and hairspray. Tsunagu wasn’t sure whether he hated or loved it, and so for a moment he just stared. And blinked. And stared again as a badly fought grin crept up on the younger one’s face:

“Come on, say something!”

“It’s… original? Not in a bad way! Necessarily... I think it would look even cooler if you let it grow longer.” 

“So you’re saying it’s cool?”

“…yes.”

The older one could have sworn to see a tint of pink on his face, for just a moment, but blamed it on wishful thinking. Surely Shinya didn’t like him back and surely it was just a stupid little one-sided crush that would leave within a short while.

Except that it didn’t. It didn’t leave, not as they formed a club together, that was more an excuse to hang out than an actual club as they were the only members. And Shinya couldn’t even knit or sew or stitch. And not as Tsunagu graduated. Not even as they both started an internship together, in an agency of a popular hero who had expressed interest in them for a while. But had waited until both of them were free from the hold-back that high school classes could be. 

It was a nice thing; they gathered experience, earned some money, and saved people, more often than not together. And even now, with their own hero names, Best Jeanist couldn’t help but think about being with the man who now called himself Edgeshot. And who would always stay in his memory as the boy whose appearance he had hated so much it had pushed him to talk to him. Over the years, he had only grown more handsome, more mature and kept his humorous and silly side for more private moments.

“Tsu, your hair got a bit messy.”

Shinya said one day after they were sent home at the end of the day. He stopped in front of Tsunagu and reached up to fix the wild hair strand. His hands felt warm and the older one felt the strong urge to cry at how nice it felt:

“Please, stop.”

All those years, he had kept those feelings secret, scared of rejection and of losing the other as a friend. Of losing him altogether. It hurt to think about ruining what they had because of a confession. The younger one looked at him in confusion, stepping back:

“What’s wrong?”

There was genuine worry in his voice, and it broke Tsunagu’s heart. There was nothing wrong, the problem was that it was so right. That it felt so good. He wanted more of his touch and never feel anything but this warmth. But he was far too scared to admit that. They were colleagues, now, after all, and…

“Tsu. Talk to me, please. You have the same look you’ve been having for years whenever I show you any kind of affection. I’ve seen your blushes. And your smiles. And the way you would avert your eyes.”

There was a long moment of silence and the blonde felt a tear roll down his cheek; he tried to hide it by looking away as always. But this time, Shinya didn’t let him; with a soft gesture, he turned Tsunagu’s face back to look at him, his thumb softly brushing away the tear: 

“I know you’re in love with me. Now I know. I wasn’t sure before.”

It shocked the taller one to hear that, although he should have expected it. He wasn’t very good at hiding it, he never had been. Still, there was always the hope that maybe the other was oblivious to it. And his heart dropped in fear and guilt.

“I’m sorry, I really tried to hide it.”

“I fell for you first.”

His face stayed blank, his brain trying to process what his so-called "crush" had just said. 

“What?”

Was all he could think to say and the other chuckled. It was his cute chuckle, the one that was genuine and amused and not held back. He took his hands, and Tsunagu thought he was caught in a daydream.

“I got a crush when I first saw you and got jealous of all the girls around you. Even more, at the moment you talked to me, after I saw how often you looked at me with so much, what I thought, hate. I thought you didn’t like me and I was a bit upset because I knew I could never match your good looks. I wasn't motivated to even try to impress you. But then you talked to me and helped me and I for once felt like I wanted to put effort into my appearance. I dreamed about you sometimes but I never thought you’d feel the same.”

Tsunagu caught himself and now it was his time to laugh:

“I couldn’t sleep for nights when I realized I liked you. What destroyed me was the night at the park. When I saw you with your idea for your hair. And later, when you took my suggestion of growing it out. It made me so happy but it broke me so much because I was scared to lose you.” 

What happened next wasn’t supposed to happen. It wasn’t something he ever wanted to rush and it wasn’t the setting and it certainly wasn’t something he’d ever have done without asking. But he cupped Shinya’s cheek, and there was nothing but love in both of their eyes. The kiss that followed was the most wonderful thing Tsunagu had ever felt; he’d been dreaming about it, so many times that he feared to wake up the next second with nothing but his stuffy in his arms and neverending yearning.

But instead of seeing the ceiling of his room, upon opening his eyes he just looked back at the most handsome man he knew; and he looked adorable with the faint tint of pink on his cheeks, contrasting the deep red that colored his own. The smaller one was holding on to his collar and gave a shy smile before stealing another kiss. His lips tasted like cherry chapstick, something Jeanist had been too caught up in pure bliss before to notice. 

“Oh oh oh, you fell hard for me, didn’t you?”

“It feels more like I crashed through a glass ceiling. I need you near me like fancy expensive denim.”

“Don’t compare me to fabric!”

The other laughed, and pulled away, only to softly take Tsunagus's hand and pull him along to continue their way back home:

“Let’s be boyfriends.”

Years later, Tsunagu still couldn’t believe those words. He still dreamed about the kiss and smiled like a fool when thinking about it. They weren’t boyfriends anymore now but while they were, it was the calmest time of his life. But they had both been through so much, in their job as heroes and the constant danger they had both been in and still went through, it didn’t last longer than a few years like that. Their lives were too short and at risk for that. 

Shaking off his thoughts of the past, he turned over and kissed his husband’s shoulder softly while caressing his hair:

“Good morning my soft little fibre. I’m leaving for work. Do you need anything from the store?”

“Mhhh no don’t go. … I need hairspray please.”

“I already stayed fifteen extra minutes I really need to get going now, my dear. I’ll see you later.”

With that, he got up and dressed and only took one last look at the man as he walked out the door with a smile:

“I’ll see you later.”

“You take years to bring up the bravery to confess to me but then you just need 15 minutes to leave me! Traitor, traitor!”

Shinya joked tiredly, and made a happy noise as Tsunagu used his quirk to pull the blanket higher over his body:

“I love you, Tsu.”

“I love you more.”