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would be a lie - gojo satoru genre: angst | notes: manga spoilers!, angsty gojo supremacy | 0.9k words - those three words that he saw as curse. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Upon meeting Gojo Satoru at his prime, you knew that this man would be your greatest enemy and greatest home, meeting Gojo Satoru isn’t like a tea in winter, it’s not like an iced tea on summer, meeting Gojo Satoru is like tasting a mint chocolate ice cream for the first time: that is meeting Gojo Satoru, you don’t know if you like the hint of sweet or like the hint of mint, because he is nowhere in between that two flavor.

But meeting him was one of your greatest cheers in life, you knew Gojo’s past because you lived in it, you were a part of it. You knew Geto Suguru became his first and only best friend as well as Shoko being his friend and human diary. But something made you feel closer to Gojo, because of all the pain he went through, he still chooses to be back to you, whether you may play a big or small part in his past he still chooses to go back to you.

You smiled at this thought because indeed, you knew Gojo more than you planned too: on how would you explain to him that you’re thankful that he let his guard down as you bring him an embrace, on how much you adore his body warmth to yours, on how you would catch him staring at you despite his blindfold, on how his mood suddenly shifts whenever you’re there, oh, and how could you thank him on how he would allow himself to fall asleep next to you when the night is chilly.

Such a cliche love story, if some would say but that’s just the thing, Gojo never really made it clear who you were, who are you in his life: because not even you could not explain if he’s toying with your emotion or just being him. You never knew what’s written on his mind, despite the fact he’s letting his guard or infinity around you it doesn’t mean the wall that he built is gone too.

Gojo was a man, having ten steps in his mind, ten steps onwards to the future, ten steps before you could even move. Despite the mixed signals he gave. You never seem to notice on how his blue eyes tend to show such sadness, that behind that strong persona he puts on, him: Gojo Satoru, is more than a jujutsu sorcerer, that person behind his blindfold and upholded persona is the one you wish to love, and you helping him to replace that sadness that he holds for too long, that you wish that hole in his heart will be replaced by you.

“Then, tell me..what are we Gojo? Cause--”

That was the question you asked him, to which he didn’t know what to say and you bet he thanked his students for calling him that time. You wished that he forgot that question but deep down you bid the gods that he will answer you with the answer you wish to hear, because how would you explain the deep embrace he give to you, how would you explain the long intertwining hands whenever you two are alone, how would you explain those lost and deep nights where he only showered you with taste of love? What is it, then?

When Gojo heard you asked the question, he felt his heart skip a beat, because you’re the only person he never wished to lie to. He thanked his students for saving him from your question. He trembled for a moment, for the thought that maybe you don’t want him anymore, you don’t wish to be at his side anymore. He feared that maybe you would find someone, but no, you wouldn’t do that.

Throughout the whole day he spent his time thinking of how he would answer you, because in the end of the day, in the middle of the night, he knew he would want to spend it with you. Because he knew, he was in love with you.

When he was about to go home, he felt your eyes staring at him when he first years arrived at the school, he saw your eyes lit up the moment you saw him, he saw you lit up all of the sudden when you saw him that made him calm and made his stomach feel those butterflies.

But that hole of sadness is much scarier, he thought that every moment he can lose you, just like how lost himself back then with his best friend. He engaged a deep sigh, shaking his head and believing that he is the strongest that he can protect you but he couldn’t shake the fact that maybe, some day, you will leave him and there’s nothing he can do. He loves you so much that he would do anything to protect you.

Love is indeed the most bitter curse, this is the taste of curse, because he already felt it, he tasted it already. He just wished to be happier, but this is too much, and when the night left the both of you, he finally answered your question.

“Cause, I love you, Satoru.”

Ah, this is where he wished to be himself, that he wished he lived like a normal man living with you. But just this once, he would like to lie, because you were the important piece in his life and he couldn’t bear to lose you. He sighed and when you heard him clear his throat, you knew you lost in this gamble, you lost in this taste of love or more like curse.

“[Name.], If I told you those eight letters...three words..it would be a lie.”

And maybe he did lose you after this night.

----- the end.

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