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The Last Bodyguard's Rule

If Vegas Theerapanyakul is in walking distance of you.

Change it to a one-way flight sort of distance.

If (1) cannot be fathomably achieved, take safety precautions.

e.g. Do NOT under any circumstances, pull out a cigarette. We do not care how stressed you are. If you fail to comply, Vegas WILL offer you a lighter.

...And if you take this lighter, he may propose one of the following to you in the coming weeks:

A) Marriage

B) Running away together to an unmarked grave unknown place.

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Remember, Vegas is waiting. He is watching. And I know many of you are motherless (ref: Porsche Kittisawasd) but parents usually tell their kids not to take candy from strangers. Vegas is that stranger.

So always look eighteen times over both your shoulders and between your legs (ref: Head Bodyguard Pete Saengtham) before pulling out a cigarette.

Welcome to Bodyguarding 101. May the games begin.