Guitarhusbands Become Parents - Tumblr Posts
Paul and Richard *on the phone* Schneider, hi! Congratulate us, we’ve just adopted a baby!!! Any tips from a veteran dad?
Schneider: Ha! Hahahaha ahhhhh *infernal laughter turning into sobs*
Baby *cries*
Richard: He just cries and cries and I don’t understand what he wants!
Paul: Guess, he wants to rewrite the guitar part for the 100th time really badly, our little diva baby boy.
Paul: Let’s take this diaper of, you’ll be all fresh and free, like you daddy in his youth days. Oh, Hiddensee!
*Ten minutes later*
Baby shits on the floor.
Paul: That’s punk!
Baby spreads shit all over the floor and himself.
Paul: That’s far to punk. Please, stop.
Richard *enters the room* The WHO site says, complementary foods should be introduced at the age of 6 months, starting with puréed vegetables…
*sees Paul feeding the baby a bread roll*
Gosh, whatever!
Richard: All his clothes are 50 shades of blue((( Let’s dress him in red/green/florals/any other colour!
*On the street*
Every old lady: What a lovely baby girl!
*at a rehearsal*
Till: Play Baby Shark tune instead of Haifisch riff one more time and I’ll bite your heads off!!!
Paul and Richard: we just can’t doodoodoodooodoo
Schneider: Kill us, please
Richard: What if I’m a bad dad? If I traumatise him or something. I just can’t…
Paul: Oh, dear, you’re already an excellent father. Anyway, we can open a bank account for the future therapy and do whatever we want
Richard: Arrgh, he pulls my hair again! I just fixed it! And it hurts!
Paul: A beanie?
Richard: No, we need to set boundaries. My sweet babyboy, it hurts daddy and his sense of beauty arrghhhh
Paul: Bet, it’s beanie time!
Paul: You know, I’m sure we will be great parents together.
Richard: oh, Paulie, you’re so sweet and supportive!
Paul: see, you are 100% great dad. And I am always better, than you, so…
Richard: … shut up
At 5 AM
Paul: who’s waken up? Our little sunshine! Oh, you wait till kindergarten and school, we will revenge…
Richard: revenge will be sweet…