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What about stelena makes them superior to delena? Don't be afraid to spill some tea boo I'm ready to show my de loving friends this response 😂🙌🏻

Oh, damn. You want me to come up with an entirely new post on this, eh? OK so there is going to be a lot of repetition since I have so many different posts and gifsets on this very subject. 

Let’s start with a very simple question:

What is it that Damon and Elena do as a couple? 

Honest to God. From season 4 onward when Elena makes Damon her choice what is it that they do with each other that isn’t them having sex and them simply telling each other that they love one another? 

They call each other soulmates but why? What have they done to get to soulmate status? Elena says that Damon makes her feel “alive” and that she was drawn to his adventurousness and recklessness but what’s an example of them doing something adventurous and reckless? Was it when he took her on a motorcycle ride and she stood on the seat and put her arms in the air? Oh wait, no, that was Stefan. Was it when he took her to a closed amusement park and whisked her to the top of a ferris wheel and made her laugh? Oh wait, no that was Stefan. 

Damon makes her feel alive because … … … …. like I’m waiting. 

Is it because when she was sad and she needed to be reminded of the beauty life offers he took her to the top of a hill to watch a sunset? OH WAIT NO, THAT WAS STEFAN. Because when she thought the pain of losing Alaric was going to devour her and she didn’t want to stop, she didn’t want to think, he took her by the hand and encouraged her to embrace the sorrow because to feel sad is to feel human and to feel human is to feel alive? No, no again that was Stefan. I’m still waiting for receipts, for actions, for moments during their relationship where we see how Damon pushes Elena and thrills Elena and makes her mature because really I just remember watching Elena tell everyone and everyone tell her that he does this for her, I don’t actually see it. 

But with Stelena? When Elena wanted to kill Katherine and didn’t care about risking Bonnie’s life because she channelled all of her emotion to rage it was Stefan who let her know that she can’t burn the world down simply because she feels sad that day. In 2x14 when Stefan finds out that Elena has been making deals with the Originals and resigned herself to the fact that she was going to die, he yells about not allowing her to give up. In 1x03 when Elena calls herself a quitter because she quit the cheerleading team, Stefan tells her that she isn’t a quitter but that she’s making room for a new life and that’s OK. Stefan pushes her, Stefan makes her mature, Stefan is the one who reads her when it comes to things other than him. The only time Damon ever challenges Elena is when it’s about how she feels about him like in 3x02 when he makes her say she cares about him or in 4x01 when he tells her he knows she knows that she remembered him telling her he loved her and doesn’t deserve her. Damon doesn’t push Elena in life. But Stefan does.

And same with what Elena “does” for Damon: 

How could Elena possibly redeem Damon when he responds to her breaking up with him by kidnapping her brother and killing her friends so she can suffer the way he suffers? How could Damon possibly be a better person with Elena when he systemically kills Whitmores when he’s in a relationship with her? How could Elena possibly be the one good thing in his life when they’re in a toxic relationship? That’s right she can’t. 

But with Stefan, Elena actually did make him a better person because his vampiric tendencies settled when he was around her, which is huge because vampiric tendencies for Stefan are ripper tendencies, all of his darkest urges, all of his demons come through with his vampiric urges but being with Elena calmed that. Stefan didn’t just say that Elena made him a better person, we see it with what? Action.

It’s the difference between this:

and this: 

Not to mention, Stefan and Elena’s foundation was hella stronger than Damon and Elena’s; when DE are put to the same tests that SE are, DE always loses. Stefan’s love for Elena was so strong, it was the key to holding on to his humanity, the key to not forgetting himself and giving his way completely to the darkness so he could do this:

But Damon:

In 6x06 Damon was convinced that Elena seeing his face would make her remember their relationship: “I just need to see her, Stefan! Our eyes will meet, fireworks will go off, and the balance of nature will be restored. She loves me!” And what happened was: 

But in 5x03 Elena’s worry over Stefan and her anger that Damon kept his whereabouts from his triggers a compulsion so intense that she would blow up an entire dorm and yet thinking about Stefan, about finding him was enough to break through Silas’ compulsion; her rage disappears: 

Not to mention Stefan and Elena know each other implicitly, which she says repeatedly and throughout different seasons: 

and unlike with Delena there are actual receipts for the things they say to each other. I believe that Stefan knows Elena better than anyone because in 4x21 when she was going through her emotional turmoil because her humanity came rushing back, only he was able to calm her through it: 

In 2x20 he knew that Elena just needed a moment to let it out that she didn’t want to be a vampire but that she was too afraid to admit it: 

In 3x20 he knew exactly the right thing to say to get her to embrace what was happening around her even though what was happening around her sucked:

And I know she knows him better than she knows anyone because of simple details like her knowing without a doubt that he called her in 3x01 even though he didn’t say anything: 

That she had faith that he would save Matt first in 3x22 because he understands what it is to love others deeply and to think of friends and family:

But does she ever say she knows Damon better than anyone, that Damon knows who she really is? What does Damon know about Elena besides the fact that she hates chardonnay? And it gets to the point that in 5x18 this conversation happens: 

And while Stefan may have the stupid retort that you can’t be in love with someone and friends with them (which the writers actually backtrack when it comes to Caroline because the first thing they say they love about each other is that they’re best friends so this was clearly to push DE forward) but even with that, the fact remains that Elena yearns for the same intimacy she has with Stefan with Damon because there’s something missing, she can’t reach this level of vulnerability and intimacy and emotional chemistry with Damon. 

Which leads me to another point. Stefan and Elena never gave up on each other: 

and it’s true because even when Stefan is mad at hell at Elena and at Damon for being together and lying about it, when Elena calls him for help so Jeremy won’t die, he brushes her off initially, but he still comes to her aid even if it is in a self-satisfying way. Stefan and Elena inspire in one another the motivation to never give up in life and to never give up on each other, to always keep fighting for who and what they love but Damon and Elena give up constantly. Stefan is the one who has to tell them both to fight for each other, it’s never something they can do on their own: 

Stefan and Elena awaken passion within one another that goes far beyond simple passion for each other, they awaken passion about living, about being out in the world, being a good sibling, being a good friend, they make each other happy which allows them to be there for those around them. Plus the amount of passion they have for each other is intense if it wasn’t intense then they wouldn’t be able to do what they’ve done for each other. Stefan makes Elena glad to be alive period, Elena only wants to live for Damon, she only wants to make him happy, she only wants to make sure he’s OK, with Damon she’s sanded down to a caretaker and nothing more. That isn’t love.