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The Pitfalls of Putting People on Pedestals: A Loss of Personal Power Shaina Tranquilino June 8, 2024

In our society, we often idolize certain individuals, whether they are celebrities, leaders, or even loved ones. We place them on pedestals, elevating them to a status above ourselves. While admiration and respect are natural human emotions, there's a fine line between appreciation and pedestalizing someone. What may seem like harmless admiration can sometimes lead to a significant loss of personal power and agency.

Putting people on pedestals can manifest in various ways, from idolizing celebrities to idealizing romantic partners or even overly glorifying authority figures. While it might initially feel uplifting to hold someone in such high esteem, the consequences can be detrimental to our own well-being and relationships.

One of the primary drawbacks of placing someone on a pedestal is the relinquishment of personal power. When we elevate someone else, we inherently diminish ourselves. We may start to believe that their opinions, desires, or actions hold more weight than our own. This can lead to a sense of inadequacy and a loss of confidence in our own abilities and decisions.

Furthermore, pedestals are precarious places to be. Those we idolize are human, just like us, with flaws, imperfections, and vulnerabilities. When we place them on a pedestal, we often overlook or downplay these aspects of their humanity. We may ignore red flags or dismiss problematic behavior, excusing it in the name of admiration.

Moreover, pedestals create an unhealthy power dynamic in relationships. The pedestalized individual may feel pressured to live up to unrealistic expectations, leading to stress and anxiety. Meanwhile, the person doing the pedestalizing may become overly dependent on the validation and approval of the idolized figure, sacrificing their own autonomy and sense of self in the process.

Putting people on pedestals can also hinder genuine connection and intimacy. When we idealize someone, we fail to see them as they truly are, flaws and all. This can prevent authentic communication and vulnerability, essential components of healthy relationships.

So, how can we avoid falling into the trap of pedestalizing others? It starts with recognizing our own worth and value independent of external influences. Building self-esteem and cultivating a strong sense of self allows us to interact with others as equals, rather than placing them on a pedestal above us.

Additionally, it's essential to acknowledge the humanity of those we admire. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures. Embracing the full complexity of individuals allows for more genuine and meaningful connections.

Finally, strive for balance in relationships. Instead of idealizing or idolizing someone, aim for mutual respect, understanding, and support. Healthy relationships are built on equality and reciprocity, not pedestals.

While it's natural to admire and respect others, putting people on pedestals can have significant consequences for our personal power and well-being. By recognizing our own worth, acknowledging the humanity of others, and fostering balanced relationships, we can avoid the pitfalls of pedestalization and cultivate healthier connections in our lives.

Words Have Weight: Deepening Our Relationship with Language Shaina Tranquilino July 30, 2024

In an age where communication happens at the speed of light and words are often wielded without much forethought, it is crucial to remember the profound impact our language has on ourselves and others. Words are more than mere vehicles for conveying information; they are powerful tools that shape our reality, influence our emotions, and define our relationships. As we become more conscious of the weight our words carry, we deepen our relationship with language and, consequently, with each other.

The Power of Words

Words have the power to build or destroy, to heal or hurt. A kind word can uplift someone’s spirit, while a harsh word can leave a lasting scar. Research in psychology has shown that positive affirmations can boost self-esteem and improve mental health, whereas negative language can contribute to stress and anxiety. Understanding this, we begin to see that every word we choose is a brick in the edifice of our interactions and relationships.

Conscious Communication

Becoming conscious of our language means paying attention to the words we use and the intentions behind them. It involves a mindfulness practice where we think before we speak, ensuring that our words align with our values and the message we want to convey. This is not about self-censorship or speaking less, but about speaking better. It's about choosing words that reflect empathy, respect, and understanding.

The Ripple Effect

Our words do not exist in a vacuum; they have a ripple effect. When we speak kindly, we not only affect the person we are speaking to but also those who witness the interaction. This ripple effect can create a more positive environment, encouraging others to also engage in conscious communication. On the other hand, negative or careless words can perpetuate a cycle of negativity and misunderstanding.

Practical Steps to Mindful Speech

Pause Before Speaking: Take a moment to consider the impact of your words before you say them. This brief pause can prevent many misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Choose Positive Words: Whenever possible, frame your words positively. Instead of focusing on what someone did wrong, highlight what they did right and suggest improvements.

Listen Actively: Mindful communication is not just about speaking; it’s also about listening. Pay full attention to the speaker, validate their feelings, and respond thoughtfully.

Reflect on Your Language: Regularly reflect on your language. Are there words or phrases you use that are harmful or unnecessary? Replace them with more constructive alternatives.

Express Gratitude and Appreciation: Make it a habit to express gratitude and appreciation. These positive affirmations strengthen relationships and foster a supportive environment.

Words and Self-Talk

Conscious communication also extends to how we talk to ourselves. Our internal dialogue can be our greatest ally or our worst enemy. By being mindful of our self-talk, we can cultivate a healthier mindset. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion, and recognize the power of encouraging and affirming words to yourself.

Building Deeper Connections

When we become more mindful of our words, we not only improve our communication but also deepen our connections with others. People are more likely to open up and engage meaningfully when they feel heard and respected. This creates a foundation of trust and mutual respect, essential for any healthy relationship.

Words have weight, and the more conscious we become of this, the more we can use language to build a better world. By choosing our words thoughtfully, we can create positive ripple effects, foster deeper connections, and cultivate a more empathetic and understanding society. Let us embark on this journey of mindful communication, recognizing the power we hold in our words, and using them to uplift and inspire.