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best friend’s brother

⚬ pairing: joshua x fem!reader ⚬ word count: 37k ⚬ warnings: alcohol, mentions of unsafe sex/unplanned pregnancy  ⚬ genres: timestep, romance, angsty angst, major feels abt having a crush, lots of flirting, smut, drama, happy tears.

✧✎ synopsis: joshua happens to be your best friend’s older brother. he’s pretty, and he’s got a lot of cool details about him that you pay a concerning amount of attention to, but he’s just a friend (if you could even call it that). still, what does he think of you, anyway? that is—if he thinks of you.

 ✧✎ a/n: this is a rewrite of an old fic that i uploaded in 2016. keep in mind the original version was only 13k! i’ve made so many changes to this story and i really hope those who read it enjoy it! thank you sm!

⇢ here is this fic’s inspo playlist ⇢ smut section is marked! ⇢ taglist included in final author’s note

13.

You flipped to the next page of the plastic binder and squiggled a small ‘seven’ inside the margin. Then, your eyes wandered back to the math textbook sitting in between you and your best friend. It was difficult to study on Jennie’s bed, but she liked it that way, and there definitely wasn’t enough room at her desk.

Keep reading

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leaning on the everlasting arms

member | childhood best friend! pastor's son!joshua x f reader genre | angst, smut, some fluff, bible college au word count | 10.3k (my first fic over 10k wowie!!) synopsis | as kids growing up in the same church, you and joshua were inseperable, until you got to an age where it was considered immoral for girls and boys to be friends. when you find him again just before graduation, he's different than you remember; but so are you. content warnings | female reader, she/her, reader is implied to be smaller (i'm sorry), discussion of gender roles & religion, no religion is mentioned by name but it's heavily implied to be a form of christianity, reader & shua are both seniors in college, reader wears skirts/dresses but not really by choice, this whole thing is pretty blasphemous oops smut warnings | descriptions of female anatomy, virgin!joshua x virgin!reader, mutual masturbation, phone sex, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (reader receiving), hints of a voice kink, size kink, praise, begging, really vanilla missionary but it's hot, nicknames (sweetheart, baby, angel) notes | although i am no longer religious, this is partially based off of my own experiences with the extremely traditional christian church i was raised in. however, please keep in mind that this is fiction and does not reflect my beliefs nor joshua's beliefs so don't take the plot too seriously. this piece is not meant to discuss whether certain religions are "right" or "wrong" so please do not comment/send me asks trying to start a debate! we're all just here for a little sexy time with shua it's not that deep note #2 | for those who aren't familiar, the title is the name of a hymn and i thought it was funny bc joshua big sexy arms hehehe

as far back as you could remember, joshua was your closest friend.

his father was the pastor of the church your family went to, and as luck would have it you were both in the same grade, so it wasn’t long before you became inseparable. you saw him at minimum three times a week: sunday morning, sunday evening, wednesday evening.

you spent most of your childhood together. sitting next to each other at every service, sharing your bibles with each other whenever one of you left them at home, sneaking donuts away from the box at the table outside the sermon hall that was supposed to only be for the adults.

you did everything together, and told each other everything. that is, until you reached middle school. boys and girls weren’t allowed to sit in the same services anymore, and you had to stay in separate buildings for every church camp and conference. 

the worst part was you didn’t even understand why. what did they think you were gonna do with him? kiss him? no amount of money in the world could get you to do that! joshua was your best friend. who else were you supposed to climb trees and build forts and sneak donuts with? kissing was stupid.

when you asked your mom about it, she told you the same thing everyone else did: about how men of god had a different path and needed to hear different messages in order to grow up to lead their own churches one day. you thought it was stupid. what if a woman wanted to lead a church, why are men the ones that have to do it? but she would just shake her head and tell you it's just the way things work in the church, you'll understand when you're older.

you were allowed near him less and less until the only time you were able to see him was at the after-service brunch with his family, and even then that began to happen less and less as the years went on.

and of course it was church rules, so there was no arguing with them because that would mean arguing with god, and who were you to question his authority? there would be no special exception for you, no matter how much you protested to your mom that you would never, ever think about joshua like that. in a fit of anger one day you blew up at her, shouting that she had had friends of the opposite gender when she was in high school, so why couldn’t you? it wasn’t fair. but she had just sighed and stared out the window, clearly ending the conversation. many years passed before she finally told you about her life before she came to church, recalling all the times she had been hurt by men she had loved and trusted. you understood then why she had wanted to keep you sheltered and safe, but you still didn’t agree. but then again, if you had been allowed to do what you wanted then maybe things would never have ended up the way they did. perhaps you have her to thank.

back then, all you could do was hold on to the little time you had with him until eventually you stopped seeing him altogether. 

more summers passed and you started spending all of your time memorizing bible verses with your fellow “women of christ”, missing the way you used to spend your time with your best friend.

but then you went off to bible college like had always been planned for you, and everything changed. instead of continuing to follow the strict schedule that was laid out for you, you finally got a little taste of freedom, and you realized what you’d been missing all this time. everything that you’d been taught was sinful, evil, wicked, was what brought you more pleasure than you’d ever known was possible.

you still had to pretend to be a good girl for the people around you, who, for reasons you couldn’t comprehend, were still dedicated to their life of purity. or at least they acted like it. maybe everyone was secretly just like you, hiding their sins behind a friendly smile and a firm handshake every sunday morning.

you weren’t hurting anyone with the things you did in private, and the feeling of rebellion was a kind of satisfaction you didn’t know you were allowed to feel. you were an adult, making your own choices now and facing whatever consequences that came with them.

there was only one consequence. for some reason, all the impure thoughts you had always centered around joshua. no matter what dirty books you read or videos you watched, the man you always pictured giving it to you was joshua.

you hated that after all these years, everything still came back to him. you fought it, tried imagining actors or celebrities in his place instead; characters from your books and movies and shows, anyone but him. you wanted to save whatever memories you had left of him, think of him in a good light like you used to when you were younger, but the way he plagued your mind was worse than the ones in the book of exodus.

but now, in your final year of college, you thought you had finally gotten yourself under control.

that is, until you were leaving one of your bible lectures and all the control you’d convinced yourself that you had crumbled away in mere seconds when you saw a startlingly familiar face standing by the door. a face you hadn’t seen in far too long. 

“joshua?”

“hey,” he says with a smile, like no time has passed at all. like it’s been hours since you’ve seen each other, not years. 

there are so many things you want to say, so many things you want to ask him, but you’re frozen in place. why is he here? where has he been? how did he find you again?

“it’s been a while,” he says with an awkward laugh when you don’t say anything.

you nod, still in a daze. “yeah. quite a while.”

he smiles. “well, anyway, i’ve got a meeting to go to in a bit, but… i just wanted to see you.”

“oh,” you say. what else is there to say? what can you say to make up for the years lost that you’ll never get back?

he looks at his watch, the conversation clearly coming to an end.

“can i give you my phone number?” he says. a deep shade of pink creeps into his cheeks but he either doesn’t notice or purposely doesn’t acknowledge it. “maybe we can talk sometime, catch up.”

“i– yeah,” you manage. god, it’s so good seeing him again. “yeah, that would be really nice.”

you’ve given up on homework for the night, spending your entire afternoon in a daze since you ran into joshua.

so many years, yet you still can’t get his smile out of your head.

you close your eyes, hand dipping below the waistband of your pajama pants automatically. it’s frightening how easily you’re able to bring up a picture of him in your mind, so much clearer than before now that you’ve seen what he looks like all grown up.

and grown up, he has. you had been too stunned to get a good look at him while he was in front of you, but the way he’d changed was immediately apparent and the image in your brain now feels almost unreal. 

his hair was a little longer and a little darker, and he was much taller, with broad shoulders that looked way too perfect in a suit jacket. but his face hadn’t changed a bit. maybe his jaw was a little bit sharper and his smile lines were a little bit deeper, but his eyes were the same ones you had always known. 

your hand slips lower and lower until you’re gently running the tips of your fingers over the panel of your underwear covering your pussy, moaning quietly when you feel how wet you are already.

no wonder it’s been so hard for you to focus all day. you’ve been too busy pushing away thoughts of joshua burying his fingers in your tight, wet cunt, cooing about how good you’re being for him and how long he’s waited for you.

automatically you feel your other hand grabbing for your phone, desperate to hear his voice again. you hadn’t said more than a few sentences to him earlier, but you feel like you’ll go crazy if you don’t hear him while you’re in this state. so needy for him and only him, and he doesn’t even know it.

your fingers shake as you press the buttons, knowing you’re about to get yourself into a whole world of trouble but not being able to stop yourself.

“hey.” he answers on the second ring. his tone is deep and husky, and your breath catches in your throat for a second, not used to hearing him talk like that; the last time you heard his voice was long before puberty, and you’re still navigating how to talk to this older, sexier joshua.

your first thought is to wonder if his morning voice sounds equally as sexy, but you’re immediately pushing it out of your head when you hear what sounds like him stifling a yawn.

“sorry, did i wake you? it– it’s not important,” you start, ashamed of how needy you are that you’d call him in the middle of the damn night, unprovoked, like some kind of bible group booty call.

the regret is already starting to set in. he probably hasn’t changed as much as you've built him up in your mind, probably still the obedient gentleman he was before. he’s probably already well on his way to being the head of a church, so of course he wouldn’t be thinking about you like that—

“no. it’s fine,” he says, interrupting your thoughts. “always have time for you, sweetheart. what’s up?”

you shove down the butterflies that flutter up in your stomach at the name he calls you, a nickname he always called you when you were kids because he was taught it was always polite to talk sweet to a lady. 

except it feels so much different now. talking sweet to a lady as kids was easy, innocent. but one wrong word now would completely change the meaning behind those pretty words of his, and you aren’t sure how to feel about it.

“i… just– it’s been so long, joshie,” you whisper, surprised at the sudden feeling of tears springing up behind your eyes. you didn’t mean for this to happen— you didn’t mean for any of it to happen. not back then, and certainly not now.

he lets the line go quiet, finally sighing into the phone after a long pause. “i missed you… so much.” he murmurs your name, and the way the rumble in his voice goes straight through you immediately reminds you why you called him in the first place.

your free hand toys with the hem of your underwear again, fighting to keep down the whimper that threatens to escape you. “missed you too,” you breathe out. god, you can’t believe you’re doing this. but for the first time in years, the man you’ve been picturing in your head is right here with you, fulfilling some of your fantasies that you never thought could ever come true.

somewhere deep in your stomach you feel guilty about it, getting off to the thought of him and he doesn’t even know it. would he want to know? would he be okay with it? would he hate you forever if he knew?

he clears his throat, snapping you back to attention and you realize you must’ve been silent for a while, thinking.

“um, so, what are you doing?” you ask, trying to seem casual, but it comes out as anything but. nobody calls anyone this late at night and asks what they’re doing without having a dirty reason for doing so. 

all you can do is hope he’s either too innocent to pick up on it, or that he doesn’t believe you’re the type of person who would call for something like that. you wonder if he still thinks of you as that perfect little obedient church girl he grew up with.

“nothing, just–working on… stuff,” he replies awkwardly. clearly he doesn’t want to go into detail about what he’s doing, and you’re already afraid you’ve interrupted his sleep; you’re mentally kicking yourself for all the blunders you’ve made, and you haven’t even been on the phone for five minutes.

“what are you doing?” he asks back, and you freeze, trying to come up with some excuse, anything. fuck, think of something!

“h-homework,” you sputter out, attempting to hide your unconfident answer with a cough.

apparently it works, because he hums in response, the line falling quiet. you hear the rustling of papers on his end, and you press your fingers harder against your cunt, heartbeat racing in your ears.

your fingers brush against your clit a little rougher than you intend, and a little whine escapes your lips, catching you off guard. you slap a hand over your mouth, hoping it had been too quiet for him to hear and he hadn’t been paying attention.

“are you…?” he asks suddenly, and your cheeks flush, caught red-handed in your sinful act.

you clear your throat, praying (both metaphorically and literally) that he doesn’t notice anything off about you. “am i what?”

his silence on the other end of the phone speaks volumes.

“joshua, oh my god, no, i–”

“what did you just say?”

you freeze. “what… did i say?”

when he speaks again, his tone is even. “don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”

that nickname again, and now you know he’s doing it on purpose. innocent, pretty words, completely changed in a split second.

you let out a short laugh, scrambling to find a cover. “must’ve forgot then.”

he hums. “i remember you spent a whole month trying to memorize the ten commandments. we must’ve been what, eight or nine? you wouldn’t have forgotten. i may not have seen you since we were kids, but i’ve still known you most of my life.”

“it was an accident, you know how it is. just slips out. of course i remember them all.”

he tsks, and it feels like your heart stops. “did you forget that lying is a sin, too? you’re two for two now, wanna try for a third?”

damn him! damn his good memory and damn his stupid witty comebacks and damn the way he so quickly manages to unravel you.

you scowl and don’t respond to his question, your silence enough of an answer for joshua to know he’s right.

“why did you call me tonight?” he asks calmly.

you answer truthfully this time. “just wanted to hear your voice again. i really did miss you.”

the phone goes quiet again, and for a second you’re afraid he’s hung up, but then you hear him exhale. “it’s late. what are you doing?”

“i’m in bed, josh. don’t worry, father, i’m not staying up past my bedtime.”

he chooses to ignore your remark. “in bed doing what?”

you give him a half-suppressed laugh. “in bed laying down. what else would i be doing?”

“well, with the way you were trying to hide your moans earlier, i would’ve figured you were doing something more exciting. but if you’re just laying down, then i don't want to keep you long, might as well hang up…”

“no!” you squeak out, cutting him off. you swallow, trying to collect yourself as you repeat the word. “no. fine, whatever, you caught me. but– please, stay.” you can hear the plea in your voice and you know you should be embarrassed at how pathetic you sound, but you aren't. the only thing you can think about is joshua, joshua, joshua, and how good it feels to talk to him again.

“i’m here,” he says softly, and you let your eyes close with a sigh, relieved he’s not going to chastise you. but as much as you’ve both changed as you grew up, deep down you knew he wouldn’t. you figure you could do just about anything and he wouldn’t try to tell you what to do. he’d always been like that, and it’s what you’d loved about him; he never tried to control you or shame you for not acting like the perfect little angel everybody wanted you to be. 

you couldn’t say the same about others in the church. maybe that’s why you’d started to drift away from them and why joshua’s friendship coming to an end had left you so devastated. he had been the one and only person you could always count on, and they had not.

“are you still there?” he asks gently, and you realize you’ve been quiet for too long thinking.

“yeah,” you say finally.

“are you still touching yourself?”

you pause, stifling a gasp, taken aback by his forwardness. hearing him say it out loud made everything seem so real, the realization setting in about what you’re actually doing. “n– no.”

and it’s true. your hand has long since dropped away from your pajama pants, too nervous about being discovered to continue.

“well, why not?” he says. “don’t stop on my account.”

your mouth falls open. “i–”

“clearly you wanted something from me when you called. what is it, sweetheart? i can’t help you if i don’t know what it is you want.”

your brain practically short circuits at that, and it takes a very long minute for you to collect your thoughts into a coherent sentence. you want a lot of things, but you don’t know what’s okay to say or not or if he even wants to keep going. which is a silly thought, because he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to know. it dawns on you that maybe… maybe he’s curious, maybe he’s thinking about you, too.

“what kind of help?” you ask, still testing the waters. you think you have an idea of what he means, but you ask anyway. you’ve never done anything like this with anyone else, only by yourself; not because you didn’t want to, but because you didn’t want it to be with someone who wasn’t joshua.

“you said you wanted to hear my voice,” he says, and you swear his tone has dropped an octave. “then let me talk to you.”

you whine a little, still holding back but not putting in as much effort to hide it. “m’kay.”

“would it make you feel better if i told you i’m hard right now?”

you suck in a breath. “yeah?”

“yeah,” he says. “just thinking about you.”

you feel a rush of emotion at his admittance. pride? satisfaction? whatever it is, it makes your cunt throb, knowing that just the thought of you can get him going.

finally you dare to slide your hand down your pants again, unsurprised when you find your underwear sticking to you with how wet you are. you’re soaking, and you haven’t even done anything yet.

“hold on,” you manage, putting the call on speaker as you set your phone on the table beside your bed, scrambling to shove your pants and ruined panties off and onto the floor.

once free, you pick up your phone and turn off the speaker, holding it to your ear with shaky hands.

“all ready now?” he asks softly, and it reminds you of what he used to say before you’d play pretend games together. always making sure you were ready. he was hot back then, too, and you mentally curse yourself for never realizing it sooner.

you hum. “mhm. comfortable.”

“good,” he says, and you can almost hear him smiling. “go ahead and do whatever you’d like. but i want you to tell me what you’re thinking about right now.”

you squirm a little on the bed as you start to circle your clit with your fingers. “thinking about you, joshua,” you sigh, finally beginning to feel relief.

“yeah?”

“yeah. you look even better than i thought you would,” you groan, picking up your pace a little as you slip your index finger inside your walls.

he chuckles. “oh, really?”

“mhm. god, i never thought i’d be doing this. especially not with you.”

“and why is that, baby?”

the name makes you shiver. you’d imagined him calling you it many times, but hearing him actually say it is completely different.

“because—” you whimper, losing your train of thought when your brain suddenly pictures his fingers inside you instead of your own. “i’m so close already, please—”

his tone is gentle but firm. “i want you to stop now.”

“but– ah, feels so good, shua,” you say, moans spilling out of you, finally letting him hear everything you’ve been holding back.

you hear him curse in that low voice through the phone, and your hand stills for a split second in shock, your eyes widening. as far as you knew, he never swore. but then again, there were a lot of things he never did that you're discovering about him now. looks like you weren’t the only one who changed over the years.

“that’s not my name.”

you sit up a little in confusion, pushing your phone closer to your ear to make sure you’re hearing him right. “huh?”

“my name is joshua. if you’re gonna moan like a sinner about how good it feels when i tell you how to touch yourself, you better use my name properly.” he sounds almost angry, but it only spurs you on even further.

you let his words sink for a second before responding. “yes, sir.”

“fuck,” he moans, he actually moans, and if you weren’t already so far gone you would’ve stopped to listen closer, to ingrain the noise in your brain so you never again forget how he sounds. “what did i just tell you?”

“what, you don’t like being called ‘sir’? thought you wanted to be a pastor, joshua,” you say with a smirk, and you know he hears the mischief in your voice, daring him to give you what you want.

it’s probably a good thing he’s not physically in the room with you, because there's no way you would have been able to muster up the courage to say something like that to his face. you wouldn’t have dared to even look him in the eyes, but being on the phone gives you a head rush. because with only his voice and not seeing his face, you can convince yourself that he still isn’t real, that this whole phone call and even your meeting earlier had just been an elaborate figment of your horny imagination, your denial being the only thing saving your last shred of dignity.

“didn’t realize you’d grow up to be even more of a brat than you were before,” he scoffs, and your cunt pulses. 

“what are you doing right now?” you say, a little desperately. the change of subject isn’t very subtle but you don’t care. you won’t lie, you’ve been curious since the start of what he’s doing but he’s been so focused on you he hasn’t said anything about himself. you want to know everything about him— how he’s moving his hands, where he puts pressure, what he thinks about to get himself closer and closer.

he grunts unceremoniously. “i’m fucking my hand and pretending it’s you.”

“me too,” you whimper, closing your eyes as you focus on the movement of your fingers.

after a while he stops responding, and you can hear his heavy breaths over the line matching with your own gasps for air as you curl your fingers inside of you. you figure he must be getting close, but you ask him anyway, because you want to hear him say it.

“yeah– fuck, so close,” he chokes out, and the way his voice gets higher as he lets out a whimper is what finally makes you come undone.

with a moan of his name—his full name—you cum, clenching around your fingers as you struggle to keep your hand moving. your wrist is starting to cramp up a little from the position you’ve been in, but the pleasure coursing through you is more than worth it. it’s almost dizzying, more powerful than any orgasm you’ve had before and when you finally remove your fingers from your aching cunt your head is spinning and your heart is pounding.

you can hear a muffled string of curses through the phone and you know he’s right behind you. thoughts of him sitting on his bed run rampant in your head, imagining his stomach covered in milky cum and his pretty, pretty lips parted as he catches his breath.

the silence is heavy as you feel yourself come back down from your high. you struggle to find something to say after… whatever that just was, so you say the only thing that’s on your mind.

“i really did miss you, joshua,” you say quietly. unlike before, there’s not a hint of teasing in the way you say his name now.

and he sighs contentedly, finally hearing his name on your lips like he always wanted to. “i know. i missed you too.”

you both say your goodbyes and good nights quickly, still basking in enough of the remnants of your orgasms to not be too awkward about it. but after you’re settled in bed (for real, this time) and about to fall asleep, you can’t help but wonder if things between you and joshua will ever be anything but awkward.

a memory surfaces: you and joshua running around at the park behind the church after a sunday evening service, no older than kindergarteners, laughing and playing until you collapse on the grass. your mom called for you both to get ready to go home, and no you’re not allowed to have a sleepover because it’s a school night but maybe this weekend if his mom is okay with it. before you ran off, he thrust his pinky out towards you and you shook on it, making a pact to always be best friends, even when you can’t have sleepovers. it didn’t ever occur to either of you that there might come a day where you wouldn’t be best friends.

you don’t remember what prompted him to make the pinky promise, but you know he’s never broken it. and you can only hope that he hasn’t forgotten it.

it’s a few days later at one of your bible study groups when you see him next, and yet again you’re caught off-guard like a deer in headlights.

you’re sitting with a group of other ladies, annotating material for a test you couldn’t care less about when you hear your name called out– a familiar deep voice you can only pray doesn’t belong to who you think it belongs to.

oh, but it does belong to him, alright. it feels like you’ve gotten the wind knocked out of you when you turn around and see joshua standing behind you, a warm smile on his face that makes you doubt anything ever happened. maybe it really was all just a delirious dream, too many years of yearning built up into one intense wet dream.

he puts a hand on your shoulder lightly, turning you away from the rest of the ladies. “hey, can we talk somewhere?”

and oh shit it was definitely not a dream.

your cheeks burn as you excuse yourself from the table, packing up your bible and pens and shoving everything in your bag as quickly as you can. you can almost hear the snickering already, the gossips whispering to each other that you must have done something unspeakable if the top-student, pastor’s son, joshua hong has to speak with you privately. ah, if only they knew.

you only wish you could go back there and wipe the smirks off of all their faces and tell them about what the perfect little gentlemen they all pretend they don’t have crushes on was doing on the phone with you last night. you wouldn’t do that, not in a million years, but just the thought of it is satisfaction enough. 

joshua leads you down the hall to a room that looks like an empty office. he opens the door for you, then closes it softly behind you.

“whose is this?” you ask, glancing around the room. 

“it’s… mine,” he says almost shyly, gesturing idly to a little engraved nameplate on the desk. joshua hong, pastor’s assistant. because of fucking course he would be.

“oh.”

he clears his throat, and in that moment you realize he’s just as nervous as you are. “listen…” he starts, taking a pause. “about the other night–”

“are you gonna kick me out?” you interrupt.

his brows knit together in confusion. “what?”

“are you gonna expel me?”

“no?” he says, still looking at you, baffled. “why would i do that? i don’t even think i have the power to, even if i wanted. which, for the record, i don’t.”

you don’t reply, focusing your gaze on the carpet instead.

he frowns. “is that really how you think of me? that i just go around tattling to my dad? from that… conversation, i thought it was clear i’m not like that anymore.”

the tips of your ears are burning at the memory of all the things you said to each other over the phone. but it never occurred to you that maybe he was just as sinful as you had been.

you stay quiet, the silence stretching on as shame and embarrassment and a hundred other emotions swirl in your mind and you struggle to figure out what to say.

luckily for you he fills the silence himself. he exhales, looking down at a stack of papers on the desk. “god, you… you don’t know how much i missed you. i thought about you all the time.”

“so did i,” you manage to whisper. “in more ways than you know.”

he gives you a teasing smile. “oh, i have a feeling i do know.”

you hold back a cough and look away, focusing your attention on a painting of flowers on the wall. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“if that’s how you wanna play this, fine.”

your curiosity piques, and you look back at him. he motions to the seat in front of the desk, wordlessly asking you to sit. hesitantly you do, and he starts to sit down at the swivel chair behind the desk, but you clear your throat and he glances up.

“can– can you not sit over there?” you ask softly. “feels like i’m being scolded.”

his expression softens a little, and he rolls the chair back into place, opting to sit next to you instead. “of course.”

except maybe you shouldn’t have asked him to do that, because now he’s sitting toe to toe with you and the closeness is overwhelming. at least on the other side of the desk there was enough distance for you to shrink and hide behind, but here, sitting like this, he can see all of you. and you don’t particularly want to be seen right now.

the tension is palpable as he takes his seat, still watching you. you take the moment to study his features: the slope of his nose and the gentle curve of his lips, the way the light catches on his long eyelashes and the way his broad shoulders look in that perfectly tailored sunday morning service suit.

“i always liked you,” he starts, and your gaze shoots up to his eyes. you open your mouth to ask something, but he shakes his head and you immediately fall silent, letting him finish. “i was almost glad when they made us go to different sunday school classes, because i wouldn’t have to sit there and pretend i didn’t have the craziest crush on you.”

“joshua, i–” you trail off, not even knowing what to say.

he pauses, as if debating his next words. “and i know it’s wrong, but i couldn’t get you out of my head when i… y’know.” his cheeks are flushed but he doesn’t look away from you, eyes searching your own for any hesitance or any sign that you don’t want this.

it’s then that you realize that the boldness you had felt hiding behind your phone, he had felt it too. saying words alone in your room at night was easy. sitting in public, in the daylight, and saying those same words to his face was so much scarier. and knowing that you’re both feeling awkward and shy and a little uncertain of how to talk about it gives you the confidence to keep going.

“when you would what?” you pry. you already know the answer but you want to hear it come out of his mouth anyway. you’ve already heard him say it, but something about sitting in his office, in a church, speaking such filth ignites a spark in you that’s completely different from the spark you felt a few nights ago.

he clears his throat and looks you in the eye, maybe gaining a little bit of that confidence, too. “when i would jerk off i would always wish it was your sweet little mouth instead of my own hand.”

you inhale sharply, and that’s when he finally breaks eye contact, his guilt-ridden gaze shifting to the wall behind you as his cheeks burn redder. “i didn’t feel good about it. felt like i was doing it without your permission, and i didn’t want that. i–”

“yes,” you say hurriedly.

he stops short at your interruption, instantly looking back at you. “yes…?”

“yes, you have my permission. whatever you want, joshua, always.”

his eyes narrow, almost imperceptibly, but you recognize it. even after all these years, after so much has changed, you still know his tells. you wonder if he still knows yours.

he murmurs your name in response, almost like a warning. “don’t say stuff like that,” he says, letting out a shaky breath.

“why not?” you ask, feigning innocence. but you know exactly what you’re doing, and you know exactly how you affect him: the same way he affects you.

he looks up at you. “you really are just as much of a brat as you were back then, aren’t you?” he says with just a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

“why don’t you find out?”

he groans, leaning back in his chair. “do you know how long i’ve wanted to kiss you?” he says finally.

“probably just as long as i’ve wanted to kiss you,” you counter, and he raises an eyebrow.

you both stand up at the same moment, closing the distance in less than a second. 

you stare at his chest in front of you to avoid his eyes, until he brings up a hand and gently tilts your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“are– you gonna get in trouble?” you breathe, heartbeat pounding in your ears as you stare at his perfect, perfect lips.

he hums, and it sends a shiver down your spine at the close proximity. “are you still giving me permission?” he asks, and you quickly shake your head yes. 

“always.”

he smooths his thumb across your cheek. “then i won’t be in any trouble at all."

and then his hand moves to hold the back of your neck and he's tilting his head and bringing his lips towards yours and then finally, after years of dreaming about it and even more years of denying it, you're finally kissing joshua and there's so many things happening at once that you can't seem to focus on anything because your mind is so full of everything and nothing and joshua and it all just feels so right.

you’re melting in his arms and falling into his touch and enjoying every fucking second of it. your heart speeds up when his hands slide behind your back, wrapping around your body to pull you closer to him, pressed chest to chest.

he pulls away to kiss you again, and again, and again, and you decide you’d be content to be like this forever, standing in his office in the church building making out like you’re the only two people on earth. 

but finally his lips leave yours, and he takes a tiny step backwards, heaving out a shaky breath as he looks you in the eyes. “what are we gonna do now?”

your heart plummets, doubts racing through your mind. did he not like it? does he not like you? did you really just ruin everything? why did he stop? why did he ask that—

but all your questions are answered in an instant when he coughs and you look down, finally noticing the prominent bulge in his dress pants. oh. that.

when you look back up at him his cheeks are flushed bright red, and he immediately begins to apologize.

“shua,” you call out to him, repeating his name the way you know he likes. “joshua. don’t worry about it. it’s fine.”

in fact, you find it incredibly flattering, that just a few kisses and gentle touches could get him this worked up. maybe it really has been you all along.

with a surge of confidence, you step back towards him, wrapping your arms around him and leaning to kiss him. “are you busy today?” you murmur, your cheek brushing against his.

he shudders, hands automatically finding your waist and pushing your hips against his own. “no. are you?”

you sigh, kissing the corner of his mouth. “not anymore.”

“fuck,” he curses, his grip on your body tightening “you really want to…?” he asks, almost shyly, as if he’s in denial this is really happening.

“absolutely,” you say, and you’ve never meant anything more in your life.

in a second he’s got you shoved against his desk, sending papers flying to the floor as he lifts you by your ass to sit you down on top of it. your kisses turn rougher and needier, your hands grabbing at anything you can reach to ground yourself: his hair, his shoulders, his back.

finally he breaks free, dropping to his knees in front of the desk. “please, let me eat you out.”

you moan out loud, probably too loudly for the thin walls of the office. but the visual of him on his knees to do anything other than pray drives you mad, and you need more of him, desperately. “joshua, please.”

he pushes your skirt up your thighs, moving it out of his way so he can stare eye to eye with your pussy. you whimper and instinctively try to hide your face in embarrassment, but something tells you he wouldn’t like that, so you resist, keeping your hands firmly planted on the edge of the desk.

“fuck, you’re soaking,” he says, his voice broken. “you’re so perfect.”

his hands reach up to tug at the hem of your underwear, and he looks up at you, silently asking for permission to continue. you nod eagerly, lifting your hips off the desk so he can slide them off of you, revealing your glistening entrance.

he whines at the sight, pretty lips parted in shock? awe? as if he can’t wait to taste you. he pushes his face into your pussy, gently at first, but when you moan and bring your hand up to his hair he dives deeper.

the moment he attaches his mouth to your clit, you jump, gasping as you try to shut your legs around his head but his large hands keep you held open. his tongue explores every inch of you, moving back and forth, up and down, mapping out your cunt with his mouth. 

“fuck, never dreamed you’d taste so good,” he sighs against your pussy, leaning away to take a breath after what feels like forever.

your legs are shaking and your cunt is throbbing as you also try to catch your breath. you’re not used to being touched like this and you’re definitely not used to being touched by joshua. so many thoughts running through your head and not a single one of them coherent enough to put into words. all you can do is weakly whine out joshua’s name and tug on his hair, pleading for him to keep going. you need release, and you don’t want it from anyone but him.

he stands up, his pants wrinkled from kneeling on the floor but still tented with a bulge so uncomfortably large you feel dizzy just thinking about it. you don’t even know if he’s going to fuck you or even if he wants to, but god you want to see his cock so bad. too many restless nights spent thinking about it, and now you might finally have the chance to see it in front of your face.

your mouth waters at the thought, and you start to slide off the desk, but joshua stops you. “what are you…?”

you look up at him, eyes blown wide with lust and you don’t even attempt to hide your eagerness. “please let me suck your dick. joshua, please.”

he whines, running a hand through his hair. “god, i want that so bad, but… i don’t think i can last if you do, and i was really hoping to fuck you.”

you close your eyes and roll your head back, moaning at his vulgar confession. but he sighs, and he sounds almost defeated, and you look back at him quickly, afraid he’s suddenly changed his mind.

“i’m not—prepared,” he admits, and you tilt your head in confusion before it sinks in what he means.

“ah. don’t suppose you would have any condoms lying around, would you, mr. pastor’s assistant?” you ask playfully, and he shoots you a glare.

“brat,” he mutters under his breath, but you hear it, and your walls clench in response. “no, i don’t have any. not interested in anybody else, so… no reason to.” he looks like he has more to say, more serious things to say, but he keeps his mouth shut, his eyes searching your face nervously.

your stomach flips at his words, feeling your cheeks heating up. you hadn’t thought you would ever get this far, and especially not with him. because of the kind of school you were at, it wasn’t like the people here were doing the kind of things you’ve been doing—at least not publicly. even if you’d wanted to hook up with somebody (which you didn’t), everyone in your vicinity would shame you for even bringing it up. you may have experience with yourself, but anything with anyone else is completely new territory for you.

you fall silent, not sure how to continue the conversation as all your newfound confidence begins to crumble. what were you thinking? caught up in the heat of the moment, saying things you weren’t sure you meant. you were in love with him: that much you were sure of. but everything that comes after that is too new, too scary, at least for right now. you can barely even comprehend that he just went down on you, but you know you enjoyed it and honestly, you’d give anything for him to do it again. but there’s too much going on inside your head for you to even begin to process that right now.

he calls your name and you blink, looking back at him anxiously. “we… don’t have to. right now, or even at all,” he says gently. the tips of his ears are burning red but his voice is calm and steady.

“joshua, i want to,” you start, clasping your hands tightly together in your lap to give you something to focus on other than the way he’s watching you so intently. “but i– don’t know how.”

“neither do i, baby,” he says. the nickname makes you shiver; even though it’s not the first time he’s called you that, especially after the other night, you’re still not used to it. but somehow it’s comforting, and it makes you relax knowing that he’s still the same person you grew up with, the same person that knows almost everything about you. you’ve both changed so much, but deep down you haven’t changed at all.

he pauses when you don’t say anything back. “we’ll wait, then,” he says and wraps his arms around you, lightly at first but then squeezing when you don’t try to pull away. “we have all the time in the world. no need to rush.”

“we… do?” your voice is laced with uncertainty.

he smiles. “of course. i let you go once already, i’m not letting it happen again. never again.”

you turn your head away from him and hide your face, flustered by how sincere he sounds. he hums, and you can hear the pout in his tone so you fight your embarrassment and turn back towards him to ask the question that’s been weighing on your mind since you first saw him days ago. “this is gonna sound so stupid, but… shua, what are we?”

first you were childhood friends, you were best friends, and then you were nothing. right place, wrong time? and then you were… doing something on the phone together, whatever you could call that. and now you were just sitting on top of his desk, sweating from having almost had sex. how do you even begin to put a label on this?

“well, i’d like to be yours,” he says shyly, and just like that all your questions are answered with six small words. you realize it doesn’t matter what label you have; as long as you have him, that’s all that matters.

“yes,” you breathe, lifting your eyes to finally meet his and you see all the love in his eyes threatening to spill over.

he reaches up to brush a piece of your hair out of your face. “i’m just glad i finally have you back,” he says with a soft smile as he watches you. “we’ll go slow, we’ll wait— whatever you want. whatever it takes not to lose you again.”

you bury your face in his chest with a whine. you’re hiding again, but even the uncomfortable scratchiness of his dress shirt can’t pull you away from him.

“besides, i don’t want our first time together to be in my stupid little office,” he chuckles and holds you tighter against him, pressing a kiss to the top of your head that makes your heart flutter. “you deserve better than that.”

you stay there for a long moment, hugging him like it's the last time you'll ever see him. but this time you know it won't be the last. it's the first, the first of hopefully many, many more.

when you feel like you've been standing there too long, you clear your throat and lean your head back to look at him. "so, um… now what?"

he pauses, those pretty lips turned up in a smile. "do you have plans for lunch?"

"no, i just had that study group you pulled me from. i'm free for the rest of the day."

his smile widens. "perfect. you still like grilled cheese, or did you grow out of that, too?"

you laugh, putting your chin on his shoulder as you hug him. "i haven't changed that much, shua."

after taking a while to collect yourselves (waiting for his erection to go back down so you can leave together without looking suspicious), you walk out of joshua’s office the happiest you've felt in years.

he'd wanted to hold your hand, too, but you were still anxious about anyone seeing you together that you'd refused him until you made it to his car. you were probably just being paranoid and no one would care about two responsible adults talking to each other, but all the time you'd spent hiding from your peers had put you on edge.

so, it wasn't until you were safely out of the church parking lot and in the driveway of his apartment complex that you let him touch you, kissing you over the cupholders with his hands gently holding your neck.

it took everything in you not to climb over the center console and sit on his lap in the driver's seat and kiss him as hard and as deeply as you really wanted, but you knew once you started you wouldn't be able to stop. and besides, he still didn't have any condoms. it didn't bother you either way, since you'd been taking birth control since high school to help with your periods, but if it was what he wanted you'd be more than fine with it.

you don't know what you'd been expecting the inside his apartment to look like; probably some tacky cross-stitch bible verses or a wooden cross hanging on the wall, but his apartment just looked like… a normal apartment. a very clean apartment, actually, though you weren't surprised. he'd always been a neat, organized kid, and it looked like that was one thing he hadn't grow out of.

you watch as he puts his keys on a hook by the door, following him into the kitchen and sitting at one of the chairs.

he grins at you as he opens his refrigerator, pulling out the ingredients for your lunch before taking out a pan.

"shua…" you interrupt him, standing up and walking towards him slowly. "you're not— really thinking about grilled cheese sandwiches right now, are you?"

he hums, eyes following your every movement as the pan sits cold and abandoned on the stove. "there are… other things on my mind, yeah."

"so why are you still trying to make grilled cheese sandwiches?"

by now you're close enough to stand toe to toe with him, and you're sure he can feel the heat radiating off your body when he wraps his hands around your waist, backing you against the kitchen counter. "because i wanna make you lunch. maybe i just wanna spoil my girl a little bit."

a shiver runs down your spine at the new name he calls you. never in a million years did you think this is where you'd end up.

"i think you have all the time in the world to spoil me later, joshua," you mumble, leaning in closer and closer until your lips touch.

in a flash he's hoisting you up and sitting you on the counter. his mouth never leaves yours as you slide your legs around his hips to drag him closer, kisses growing deeper and more desperate now that you can finally be alone together.

his hands slide down your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt and only breaking apart for a second to slide it over your head before his lips are crashing against yours again. 

your hands find his hips, experimentally tugging on his belt to see his reaction. immediately he pulls away from you, 

cheeks flushed and breathing heavily. "sweetheart, i still don't have any condoms. if you really want to now, then we gotta run to the store first."

“i’m on the pill,” you burst out, hoping he gets the message. maybe he has some other reason for wanting to, but you're too impatient to wait for who knows how long it'll take to go to the store, and you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off him for that long. you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off of him for even a few seconds.

his face goes blank as he processes your words, struggling to understand if you’re saying what he thinks you’re saying. “you’d let me…?”

you grab onto his arms, a desperate attempt to pull him closer, to feel more of him. “raw, yes, joshua. just—please, i need you,” you beg him, cunt throbbing with neglect as you wait for him to answer. 

he buries his face in your shoulder with a groan, gripping his hands underneath your thighs and sliding you off the counter.

with a shriek you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, holding on tightly as he starts to walk out of the kitchen carrying you. "joshua! what the hell are you doing?"

his face is still pressed against your shoulder, and you can feel his lips tickling your bare skin as he speaks. "i'll fuck you on my kitchen counter any day of the week, baby, but i want to have you for the first time in my bed, please?"

his voice is low and whiny, just as desperate for you as you are for him and it makes you moan with excitement. 

he finds his way into his room, stumbling a little when he accidentally runs you into the wall instead of through the doorway, but you just giggle and kiss him harder until he finally drops you on his bed, immediately unbuttoning his shirt.

you run your hands along his chest as he leans over you, feeling the toned muscle that feels almost wrong to be seeing. his physical changes are much more obvious to you now that he's like this, and you know the image will fuel your fantasies for weeks.

your hands move to his belt again and this time he allows it, letting you unbuckle it and toss it away before slowly lowering the zipper. he's already hard again, and your heart races when you put a little bit of pressure on the seam and he lets out a guttural groan in response.

his arms flex as he reaches down to slide your skirt off, and you help him and kick the fabric away, leaving both of you in nothing but your underwear.

joshua pauses, letting his gaze wander your body as you look away shyly. he hums and you look back at him in confusion. "don't hide from me, sweetheart, please," he says, but it comes out more like a whine; not like he's asking, but like he's begging. it's honestly the hottest thing you've ever heard, and even with your nerves he makes it hard to resist.

"dreamt about this for fucking years. years," he moans as he leans over to kiss your chest, reaching behind your body to undo your bra and let it fall away. you whimper when he brings his hands up to cup your breasts, wrapping his mouth around one of your nipples as he starts to slowly grind against your clothed pussy. you can already feel yourself soaking through your panties, and you're sure he can feel it, too.

his hands are like nothing you've ever felt, and you roll your head back against his pillows, arching into him as he massages your breasts with his large hands. you'd noticed them before, but you hadn't realized just how big they were until they were on top of you and made your body seem almost tiny beneath his massive palms.

"shua…" you breathe, tentative hands reaching up to touch his shoulders.

he looks up at you, mouth covered in spit. "yes, angel?"

you whimper at the nickname. no angel you'd ever learned about in sunday school had acted like you are right now, begging a man to fuck you. and on top of that it was before marriage, too; surely if there was a god they would be extremely disappointed in you. but right now you didn't care if the entire universe was disappointed in you, as long as joshua hong wasn't.

it takes you a few more seconds to build up your courage, but finally you open your mouth and tell him, "joshua, please— fuck me."

he slides forward to kiss you again, before sitting back and repositioning himself between your legs. "anything you want, sweetheart."

he lines his cock up at your entrance, and just before you think he's about to push into you, he looks up at you instead. 

"i love you, so much," he says, and you have to fight the urge to hide your face as you grin and giggle like a fucking schoolgirl; like the past version of you would have, if she'd had any sense and figured everything out sooner.

and, like always, he asks, "ready?", and you nod, and it's better than you could've ever imagined.

the whines that leave his mouth drive you close to the edge already as he begins to thrust into you, slowly, gently, just a little bit at a time but it still leaves you gasping from his size.

he keeps moving at a snail's pace until you reach up, fumbling to grab at his bicep as tears nearly spill out of your eyes and beg him, "joshua, more, please."

he leans over you, pressing his body flat against yours as he starts to rock his hips faster, and you cry out from so much pleasure and so much emotion hitting all at once.

"wanted you so fucking bad, for so long, and now you're finally here," he whispers, his thrusts never faltering despite how close in proximity he is to your face.

you whine as your hands claw at his back, digging in as you struggle to hold on and he curses again, pushing into you harder.

"you said i was better than you imagined," he groans, one hand coming up to caress your cheek. "but you're even better than i imagined. you're a fucking angel, so fucking beautiful."

you gasp his name, falling into your orgasm from his words alone as you clench impossibly tight around him. you always thought of him as the nice kid, the rule follower, but here he is, fucking you through the hardest orgasm of your life and saying such filthy things in between praises and compliments.

"jo-oshua, please!" is all you can manage, still struggling to recover before he crests into his own high with a whimper. his eyes scrunch up as he releases inside you, eyelashes fluttering and sweat dripping down his temples, and you think it's the most beautiful sight you've ever seen. 

a constant stream of curses fall from his lips and you swallow them with yours, kissing him as if you're afraid he might disappear into thin air if you don't hold onto him tight enough.

his breaths are shallow when his mouth falls away from you, resting his forehead on your shoulder with a long exhale.

"god…" he starts, then stops and laughs, and you have to tug on his hair to make him face you again.

"what are you laughing at?" you say, cheeks growing hot when he looks at you with droopy, hooded eyes and a lopsided smile.

"nothing," he laughs. "just god. what a funny word."

"and why is that, baby?" you say as you try to hold back a smile, testing out the nickname.

he grins. "because it gave me you. or maybe it didn't. who knows?"

you finally laugh along with him, remembering what he'd said to you on the phone that feels like years ago. "don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”

the church is humming with activity as you make your way to the front pew, carrying two donuts in your hand. people greet you as they mingle about the hall, talking and laughing. some wave excitedly when they see you, others simply smile and offer their hand for you to shake with a friendly “good morning and god bless!”

being a pastor’s wife isn’t something you ever imagined yourself doing, but then again, a lot of things in your life you never imagined doing. you never imagined seeing joshua again, and you never imagined marrying him, either. you certainly didn’t imagine taking over your father-in-law’s church when he retired and decided it was time for joshua to take his place as head of the church. you always knew he would someday, whether he wanted to or not, but you’d be happy to spend the rest of your life by his side no matter where he was or what job he had.

you’d been almost nervous when you decided it was finally time to tell your parents you had been seeing each other, but to your surprise they had been overjoyed at the news. both his family and yours were “just so glad when it happened to be you!”, saying things like “we’d always known it would happen, back since you were children!”, and “so when are we going to get some beautiful little grandchildren to take to sunday school!”

it had been five long and happy years since that very first phone call, and every minute you spend with joshua has been the best of your life.

you walk up the steps to the stage where your husband is waiting, flipping through his notes for the morning’s sermon. you hand him his donut with a grin, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. he smirks at you, imperceptible to everyone else but you can tell what it truly means.

everybody in the congregation always talks you’re the perfect example of a happy, god-loving couple. such nice looking people, so well put together. but behind closed doors, they’d be horrified by the things you say and do together. wolf in sheep’s clothing, as is your husband’s favorite parable to preach.

it’s not the life you imagined, but it’s perfect to you and him.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging with tags or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

> taglist | @wonderfulshinee @noniestars @onlymingyus @just-here-to-read-01 @wonuziex @enhacolor @yourfavoritefreakyhan @dkakapizzaboy @zozojella @rainyjeno @jwnghyuns @darlingvernon @uwuheeseungie @miriamxsworld @synthetickitsune @simeonswhore @junhour @foxdaisy @honglynights

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The King's Gambit: a 95 line collab (Masterlist)

Playing the king's game is risky business, there’s just too many risks — but the reward for winning is sweeter than any mousse au chocolat. It’s why three brothers sit atop Seoul with their crooked crowns and broken chess pieces; they loved playing the game because they always won, getting one step closer to ruling the world. But when Cupid comes knocking on their doors, the empires they built threaten to crumble as they fight to protect what’s hidden and salvage what’s missing.

(hidden: their life behind closed doors. salvage: the love they create)

These three fics are closely intertwined and should be read in the following order. Although they can be read on their own, we highly encourage you to read all three fics to get a full picture of the world we’ve built for Joshua, Jeonghan, and Seungcheol, as each fic contains important context that the others may be missing.

Series Rating: R for graphic descriptions of sex, violence, death, and other adult themes.

Join the Taglist

The King's Gambit: Contracts by onlymingyus Patreon Teaser • Teaser 1 • Patreon Teaser 2

Joshua Hong, rich CEO of Hong Investments, lives his life by his schedule and contracts including the women who find themselves in his bed. When you find yourself in his world you find out there is more than just meetings, money, and expensive champagne but secrets, sex, and lies.

The King's Gambit: Bound by @duhnova Teaser 1

Money never came easy for Jeonghan, so when he finally built an empire that’s just his own he’ll do anything to protect it. But when you come into his life it’s like it’s all flipped upside down as he learns you’re more precious to him than the eleven digit number in his bank account.

The King's Gambit: en Passant by @onlyhuis Teaser

Millionaire CEO Choi Seungcheol has never relied on anybody: not his parents, not his friends, no one. The only person that’s gotten him through life is himself and the power his name holds. But even now, with everything he could ever want at his fingertips, his life lacks purpose… until he meets you.

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Anonymously Yours || Joshua Hong

Pairings: Joshua x Fem!Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Humour (broken coz mine), high school au, enemies to lovers au, strangers to lovers au, anonymously yours au. Synopsis: After an accidental text message turns into a digital friendship, you and Joshua start crushing on each other without realizing you both see each other frequently in real life. Notable Mention: You both hate each other's guts.... Word Count: 18.6k Inspired By: Mexican Flick - Anonymous yours. Warnings: profanities, Joshua acts dumb one big time, mentions of periods, tears and tears but mostly fluffy, protagonists don't know how to act around each other (lmk if I missed any) Banner credits to my baby @wannabeyourshua . Also, it's your birthday present from me, hope you like it! Taglist: @wannabeyourshua @hoeforhao @kimmych @chocolatekdramakpopfreak @starlight-night0 @alyssng @imsjane @i-dont-give-a-fok @gaebestie @meowmeowminnie @hanniehaeism

Please heart, comment and reblog, would really help to keep me going <3

[SVT Flick : Fic Masterlist] [SVT Masterlist]

Unknown Number:

[3:05 AM] Hey!

It was great meeting you! Maybe we should meet again sometime soon :)

What do you think?

You:

[3:09 AM] It's 3am for god's sake???

You got the wrong number!

Unknown Number:

[3:10 AM] Haha, not funny! It's me.

You gave me your number at the party :(

[3:12 AM] They gave you the wrong number obviously.

Now stop right there & let me sleep!!!

The blaring sound of the alarm is hurting your ears and adding to your headache.

"Ugh, I can't even sleep without getting interrupted.", you groan but manage to lift your body to do two trivial things. One, stopping that goddamn alarm. Two, checking your phone.

8 AM. The time glares back at you.

You have a class at 9, well assignment submission to be more precise and you're still in your bed, half awake, half grumpy.

Next half an hour goes in a blur as you gobble down your breakfast and smoothie that your mother makes daily, it's almost like a tradition and good part is that you don't hate it. The only bad part is that the same conversation that follows everyday of them insisting you to join the family business and you dismissing them because you have a passion that you want to turn into profession.

Currently you're waiting for your best friend, Hyerin, who's never not late to pick you up.

Some insights on Hyerin, she's your best friend, have been your friend since when you knew could pronounce that term. She's pretty, easy going, quite popular and star player of the school's tennis team.

Hyerin Calling....

You don't have to pick up that call so rather you are running straight down the block knowing that she's waiting there with her jeep.

"Babe, I'm late because of her.", she says as she points at her younger sister, Hyejoo who is seated in the backseat.

"I admit. But you know the other 99 times of 100, we're late because of whom", she immediately quips back in her defense.

You roll your eyes, bored of their banter and turn on the radio to have a vibe to jam to till you the reach the school.

As soon as you cross the threshold of the school, Hyerin is hijacked by Jeonghan, her tennis partner and Hyejoo situates herself with basketball teammates when she spots them.

And you're left alone.

And you're used to it.

The final bells rings indicating that you should be now sprinting to the class to avoid the grudges of your literature teacher.

You are with your full concentration tangling the wires of your earphones around the phone while climbing up the stairs when you suddenly bump into someone.

Your head whips up to see the other person, glaring at you having his shirt stained in coffee which he was supposed to drink.

"Sorry, very sorry", you take out your handkerchief and just as try to dap on the shirt, that person backs away.

"Please give your number, I'll pay for the dry cleaning.", you say politely.

"No need, I can pay for myself", that person grumbles, "Do me favour and from next time keep your eyes open while walking."

He says and walks away leaving you speechless and infuriated.

"What an ass, I was trying to nice.", you mutter before sprinting to the class.

Joshua is already having a bad day so when the only thing he was looking forward to, coffee from his favourite café got spilled on his shirt because of some girl who can't walk straight, he is vexed.

Fortunately, he doesn't have classes within next hour so he goes straight to basketball ground. He has been enrolled into this high school recently so he has no friends, neither he intends to make any.

He fishes out his phone and taps on a contact who's name he doesn't know and proceeds to send a text.

Joshua:

[9:35 AM] Hey, sorry for waking you up last night.

Stranger:

[9:36 AM] No worries, I fell asleep right back.

Joshua:

A heavy sleeper it seems lol.

Stranger:

[9:37 AM] You can say that. And whoever did this to you is so mean, they could have told you no instead of doing this.

Joshua:

[9:37 AM] Ikr. I was at this party last night when my best friend insisted me to ask her number coz according to him I was checking her out.

Stranger:

[9:40 AM] Didn't work out for you :(

"Hey cutie, are you new here?", Joshua who is now quietly watching the match is called out by Hyejoo.

"I am.", he responds right away.

"Wanna play with us?", Hyejoo asks twirling the ball on her index, a sly smile set on her lips.

"Yes.", Joshua simply says and jogs down to the play arena.

"Before we get started, I'm hosting a party today and you're invited.", Hyejoo says, her expecting eyes staring at him.

"Thanks for the invite but sorry I won't be attending.", Joshua replies and extends his hand, asking for the ball.

Hyejoo immediately backs down, tossing the ball , "Then you don't get to play."

"What?", Joshua's face twists in a mix of confusion and rage.

"You heard it right.", Hyejoo taunts him further.

"Are you being serious?", Joshua chuckles in disbelief, "Such a spoilt brat."

Hearing this, Hyejoo's friend Jisung walks upto him and grabs his collar in aggression, "What did you say?"

"Exactly what you heard. You're her bodyguard or what?", Joshua smirks.

And the next second a hard punch lands on his face. Just as he was about to retort the sports coach shouts, "The group over there, you're all going for detention."

A series of groans are heard.

You look around in utter disappointment. Well, detention room could and should never be appealing to anyone.

It's your fault you're here because you couldn't cure your curiosity when you saw a text from the familiar unknown number and your hands immediately to had respond back even after getting two warnings from the teacher.

Sitting idle never does you good, so you deck your bag on the desk which is going to act as a makeshift pillow and next you rest your head on it.

Joshua enters the room and the first person he spots is you, who had deprived him the privilege of drinking morning coffee.

With a scowl set on his face, he walks past you and sits on the corner most seat.

Next, a smile plasters on his face as he takes out his phone goes through the conversation between him and the stranger.

Mrs. Yoo walks in with all her glory knowing she's very much despised by the students not because she's an ass of a person but for her detention projects she puts everyone through.

You heave a sigh, unbothered to greet the teacher.

Her heels clanks sharply against the floor as she walks to the teacher's desk and taps her finely manicured nail against the table with a sickening sweet smile plastered on her face, sweet enough to make everyone else present in the room barf out.

"I'll get to the point straight. Block your calendars for Saturdays & Sunday, 2 to 5, every week.", she orders, unphased by the string of protests coming in.

You exchange glances with Hyejoo, who looks equally terrified.

"But I have classes", you speak up, "And I guess everyone has some or other sort of commitments as well."

"That's for you and everyone else to manage. Should have thought before.", she points her eyes at you and moves on, "I'll create a gc and add everyone of you. So the venue of next meetup will be shared across. And I want full attendance.", her voice holds the authority and every single being present there knows that they would be attending otherwise the wrath of Mrs. Yoo is not something anyone would like face.

Sundays are no more Fundays.

Hyerin's are rich rich. So whenever her parents are out of town for business, both the sisters throw parties and invite the whole town, okay not whole but they'll be almost there soon.

And you are present in each of them, as a pure obligation and to be a good friend to Hyerin.

Parties are not your thing, it never was and it's safe to say it will never be. Because your social batteries are weak and that's why while everyone is doing beer pongs or fuzzy duck or whatever questionable things, you sit by the pool, in calm, legs dipped in the cold water.

"Oh there's my girl!", you hear Hyejoo as she sits beside you.

"Congrats, you found me.", you shrug and swing your legs lightly in the water, making a brief eye contact with her.

"Thanks for coming.", she says leaning on her shoulders, "I know parties are not your thing but your presence matters. And thanks for these dresses? Like I don't know how you do it everytime, you have magic in your hands ."

"Don't go all sappy on me, Joo.", you chuckle and lay your head on hers, "But thanks for the words."

"Anything for you, love.", she smiles and closes her eyes basking in your presence until she hears a call of her name.

"Gotta go.", she immediately gets up and sprints to the hall as she yells, "Tell me whenever you wanna leave, I'll drop you off!"

You shake your head and take out your phone.

You:

[9 PM] You there?

Unknown Number :

[9:01 PM] Hey!

Just pulling a marathon of Victorious.

[9:02 PM] Cool! Cat Valentine my love.

Do you like parties?

Unknown Number:

[9:04 PM] Depends on the people, both accompanying and hosting.

What about you?

You:

[9:05 PM] I don't exactly like parties.

I'm that miserable wallflower :(

Unknown Number:

[9:07 PM] Come on, you're not miserable, it's just that you don't feel it, you're not into it.

You :

[9:09 PM] Maybe....

Joshua stares at the phone screen a little longer before chucking the phone on the bed. He sighs and his thoughts drift away to the same old wistful thinking.

There's a knock on the door and he hums in acknowledgement, allowing the person to enter.

"Make space for me, I'm tired.", Mingyu is already nudging Joshua who lets out a grunt but shifts anyway.

"If you're tired, go to your home and sleep on your bed.", Joshua remarks in an agitating tone but both of them know that he's actually far from that.

Mingyu laughs and snuggles closer to him, "That's not how you treat your best friend.", he playfully quips, "I have a match on Sunday, you're coming right?"

"When have I missed any of your matches?", Joshua rolls eyes, "Mixed Doubles?"

Mingyu nods, "The practice is thinning me tired.", he then taps on Joshua's arm and the later extends his arm so Mingyu can lay his head on.

"How's new school?", Mingyu asks.

A bit of silence before Joshua answers, "It's okay."

"Made new friends?", Mingyu asks with concern.

"No. Don't wanna.", Joshua says, "I'm just doing it because I have to."

"Tried talking to your mom about this?"

"Gyu", he trails off even though he has so much to say.

"I'm all ears Josh. Even if it's the same old talk, I'm willing to listen. Please tell me.", he insists.

"I had promised dad, that I'd become like him.", Joshua stills when that exact memory flash in front of his eyes, "After his death, I have fully devoted myself to studies so that I can get accepted to the best law academy. My mom always keeps on encouraging me and I know she wants to keep my dad's profession alive through me because she thinks I'm as much interested She's not at fault for doing so but..."

Mingyu waits with all the patience in the world, just for his friend to pour out everything, so that it hurts him less, so that his suffocation lessens even if in miniscule amount.

Pouring out is always better than bottling in.

Joshua relents for a moment but he knows that the listener is never going to judge him, that he's always there to share the burden so he continues, "When I was younger it was fascinating, I wanted to become lawyer but in recent years I don't feel the same. Heck, I don't even know what I like or what I'd like to have in as a career but it's definitely not something in law."

Mingyu listens and he worries a lot about his best friend because he knows that Joshua isn't particularly vocal and impulsive. He's neither outspoken nor indecisive.

If it had been him, Mingyu would have relayed his thoughts to his parents and worked a way out but it's not him.

It's Joshua.

It's Joshua, who would never willingly hurt his mother, even if it costs his mental health and choices.

It's Joshua, who on Mingyu's fifteenth birthday gifted him a Yonex Racket because Mingyu wanted one from long time but his parents weren't interested to invest in such an expensive racket. It had costed Joshua all his savings. It also costed Joshua his ears for all the scoldings he got from his and Mingyu's parents.

Mingyu is perceptive.

Joshua is also perceptive except for times when it comes to himself.

"Take your time Josh. We're too young to be worried about stuffs.", Mingyu says and turns to the other side, "Set the alarm at 6. I have practice."

"You're so bothersome.", Joshua quips with no seriousness instead setting the alarm on his phone but only after kicking Mingyu on his shin, "Go change into something comfortable atleast."

Mingyu just hums and Joshua pulls over the comforter.

Mrs. Yoo stands patiently and all the students wonder why in the world they are standing outside an abandoned playground.

"I am gonna divide everyone in teams of two and you're gonna paint the walls of this playground.", Mrs. Yoo smiles wide as she sees the distress showcasing on the faces of her students, "and do gardening."

"What's the meaning of us doing all this?", you voice out in genuine concern.

"To make you all aware of the privileges you have been availing all your life.", Mrs. Yoo answers, "And I decide when the detention will be over so behave accordingly."

As if it wasn't already nauseating, Mrs. Yoo decides it's best if you pair up with Joshua Hong.

The same Joshua Hong who can't look at you without glaring.

"So let's start with making the soil bed", you say not looking at him as you two manage to gather some wooden sticks and tie the ends together.

Joshua hums disinterested and suddenly pours the bag containing manure into the bed without soil.

"Stop! what are you doing?", you scream as if facing a mid life crisis and he glares at you again.

You sigh, "That's not how it's done. We'll have to put a layer of soil and level it first --"

"Fine.", he cuts of you and starts pouring the soil bags one after one.

Your eye twitches and you think Joshua Hong can't be this dumb. He is definitely trying to stress you out.

"You're not helping at all, if you're doing it wrong.", you relay your mind to him and it irks you more when Joshua's response is same, it comes in form of his glare.

You glare back at him and he finally says, "Okay, do it yourself then."

He walks away and you're actually relieved because being in his vicinity is becoming the bane of your existence.

Suddenly your phone dinges and you smile looking at the notifications.

Unknown Number:

[3:26 PM] I'm having a really bad day ಠ_ಠ

You:

[3:28 PM] Yours wouldn't even compare to mine.

There's this boy whom I really can't tolerate but we keep on meeting.

Unknown Number:

[3:29 PM] Lol Same! There's a girl and I don't want her to even breath in my direction.

You: [3:30 PM] Damn, we're in same predicament huh.

Unknown Number:

[3:31 PM] Guess so... Gotta go, bye.

You:

[3:32 PM] Bye bye! He's coming towards me again, gosh ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

Unknown Number:

[3:32 PM] Goodluck, I guess...

Joshua laughs as he sends the text. The lingering smile on his face immediately vanishes when his eyes lands on you.

"Do you prefer to paint with brush or rollers?", you ask Joshua who's busy watching something on his phone.

He presses pause button on the screen and looks at you, "First of all, I can't paint to save my life.", he states, "So brush or rollers doesn't matter. It's same for me."

You nod and hand him a roller, "You won't be much help here too, so please do a favour and with start painting the walls these rollers, roll up vertically please. Don't change the direction."

"Who are you to order me around?", Joshua glares at you.

You think you are going to get hernia because of stress he's giving you lately.

"I'm someone who knows how to paint so instead of running your mouth why don't you try utilising those hands of your?", you spat out and turn around walking to the opposite side.

Joshua sees red.

He thinks he's going to have appendicitis because of the stress you're causing him.

You smile looking at the beautiful hues in the paint buckets.

Atleast something is able to calm your nerves.

"Don't you think he's handsome?"

Suddenly an arm is thrown over your shoulder that almost causes you to topple to the front.

"Who?", you quirk your brows questioningly at Hyejoo.

"Duh, who else your  partner. Joshua Hong.", she answers and turns you around so now you have to look at Joshua again.

You squint eyes at him, "He definitely looks good but he's an asshole."

Hyejoo smirks, "Really? I thought he's a cutie. Anyways, I like him."

You make gagging noises, "You have had not less than thousand crushes and that's totally cool but please not him."

"As if I'd listen to you."

"Yeah whatever. Maximum a week and then you will get to a new guy as always.", you mumble, "So fine."

Hyejoo leaves after Mrs. Yoo warns her to not pester anyone.

You sigh in relief and take out your phone.

You:

[4 PM] Whatcha doing'

Unknown Number:

[4:01 PM] Something I don't know how to do...

You:

[4:02 PM] Lol why?

Unknown Number:

[4:03 PM] Pure Compulsion.

You:

[4:03 PM] Ugh sucks.

Unknown Number:

What sucks more is when you have no one who understands you.

You:

[4:04 PM] Know that feeling.

I feel like no one understands me as well.

Unknown Number:

We have been talking for few days now and we don't even know each other names.

So may I know your name?

You stare at your phone screen, re-reading the text that had just appeared. Suddenly a pleasant idea pops in your mind and you happily type that away.

You:

[4:08 PM] I have an idea.

We won't share our names, any personal details, voices messages or pictures.

We'd be anonymous and get to know each other for real.

What say?

Joshua's face morphs into something that's both confusing and amusing. He doesn't think much finding it fun to try something new.

Joshua:

[4:10 PM] Let's that do.

Anonymous, saved.

Anonymous :

[4:10 PM] Anonymous, Saved :)

Joshua stands up holding the roller and tries to follow what you said. He dips the roller into the paint bucket containing orange paint and starts rolling it up vertically section wise.

He is having fun, too much fun that he accidentally spills the colours on the white tee shirt he is wearing underneath the jacket.

"What the hell?", he grunts, looking at his now stained tee, "Why doesn't anything work out for me?"

He feels emotional all of a sudden. He feels vulnerable, every thoughts that were pushed at the back of his mind starts to resurface.

He remembers the day he lost his father.

He remembers the moment when the girl he liked left the city one day and never came back.

He remembers --

"Hey, are you okay?"

Joshua hears you and falters at the tone of concern in your voice.

He simply nods and faces the wall.

"I can help you", Joshua stiffens but immediately relaxes when you say further, "to fix your tee."

"Do you have spare clothes?"

Joshua turns to face you and nods.

"So go get changed now and give me this tee.", you state and he throws an incredulous look.

"Are you planning to ruin my tee?", he asks, "What are you gonna do with it?"

"You'll see.", you say rolling eyes, "Hurry up, we don't have forever."

Joshua gets changed and hands you the tee.

You search your bag and take out your sewing kit.

Joshua sees your hands skim through the bag again and this time you fish out a bunch of cloth patches.

Next hour passes in a blur as you cut the ends of threads with scissor.

"It's done I guess.", you sigh and look at Joshua, "Manageable? Looks descent?"

He gapes at the tee in your hand and then he gapes at you.

You think he's cute with those bambi eyes resembling that of deers.

He is shaken out of trance by your light nudge.

"Woah, you're....", he manages to speak out, "so good... You gave this tee a whole new look and it's obviously trendier then the previous one."

You smile at his compliments. A smile that doesn't reach your eyes.

"Glad you liked it." you hand him the tee and start to assemble all the scattered tools and clothes putting them in your bag.

Then without another word, you get up and start to walk away.

Joshua ponders as he sees your figure diminishing from his sight, "Why did she look sad even if I was complimenting her?"

"Damn, did you see that!!", you scream absolutely astonished when Hyerin & Jeonghan won the break point of the game, leading the first set 5-3.

"That's my sister!", yells Hyejoo and looks at you, "She's so good, if she wasn't my sister, I'd have been a fan."

The next game starts soon with Jeonghan doing the first serve and that ends quickly both of them sweeping the game with 40-0. Mingyu and his partner Seji are down by a set.

"Come on Mingyu! You can do better than this!"

You heard a very familiar voice not from far and crane your neck to see Joshua cheering up the opponents.

Must be his friends from previous school, you think.

"Oh my god, Josh's here too.", Hyejoo squeals and you roll eyes choosing to ignore her.

You are recording the match when you feel Hyejoo fleet from your side and it doesn't take a genius to figure out she's going to Joshua.

With the camcorder still recording you turn and through the lens you see a very agitated Joshua who's constantly ignoring whatever Hyejoo is saying.

A smile creeps upon your face.

Joshua suddenly turns and your gazes meet through the lens.

And you freeze.

Joshua squints his eyes at you before walking away and towards the players resting area which makes you realize that the opponents won the second set and you should be doing the same.

You hurriedly run over only to see a pissed off Jeonghan which is scary because the guy is always full of mischiefs and is a moodmaker.

"What happened Han?", you ask and the stare he gives you is enough to regret speaking up.

"Seji, she's his ex Y/N.", Hyerin explains further, "They used to play together and since they didn't end up on good terms it's kinda hard for him to see her and play against her." That clicks, why Seji seemed so familiar to you.

You give a nod of understanding and next you're crouching in front of him and he looks at you in confusion, "Whatever that happened must have happened for a reason and it's all in the past Han. I think it's an opportunity for you."

Jeonghan perks up, "Opportunity?"

"Yes opportunity.", you pat his arm, "For you to get over her and to discard all those lingering feelings. Also to get the cup and lift that trophy. You could have it all sorted Han, it's your now or never moment."

Hyerin listens to you mesmerized and Jeonghan cracks an all toothy grin.

"Thanks Y/N.", he acknowledges, "For making me see things clearer."

You get and huff, "I don't want your thanks. Just win this match and treat me to BRs."

"Okay deal.", Jeonghan extends his pinky and you hook yours to his.

"There's still time, strategize your play", you say looking at the timer, "All the best guys!", and you run away.

"Thank God, Seji has gone to washroom.", Mingyu sighs in relief, "She's already pissed off since she knew we're playing against Jeonghan and if she heard all this, I'd be in trench because you can't motivate the shit to Seji like that girl did."

Joshua glares at his best friend, "Why is this falling on me? Neither I'm playing with you, nor I'm the ex boyfriend. So keep me out of it. If Y/N impresses you that much why don't you ask her for motivation directly."

Mingyu smirks, "Oh Y/N it is. Joshua Hong why do I get this feeling that you're not on good terms with her? I mean your tone says that."

Damn Kim Mingyu for knowing his best friend so well.

Joshua scoffs, "I think you have better things to worry about.", he gets up, "If you loose today, I won't allow you crash at my place for a month."

Mingyu dramatically gasps, "Are you in your right mind? You're scaring me Josh, please don't do this."

"So win this match.", Joshua smirks, 'Think this as your motivation to win."

Mingyu and Seji loose the match.

While you are celebrating with your Hyerin, Jeonghan and Hyejoo, Joshua is getting pestered by Mingyu.

"Are you serious right now?", Joshua asks in disbelief, "You just lost to them and know you want to know if Hyerin is single?"

Mingyu nods quietly liked a kicked puppy but he has no shame at all.

"Really?", Joshua asks again to confirm and when Mingyu doesn't respond he kicks his shin, "Fine. I'm going."

Joshua trudges through the crowd to find someone.

He finds you.

"Hey", he greets and you just nod at him.

"Uh can you help me with something?", he tries to sound as polite as possible, "I just wanted to know something."

"Go ahead."

Though he's cursing at Mingyu in his mind, nonetheless he asks, "You're good friends with Hyerin right?"

"Yeah we are best friends.", you say proudly looking at her as she holds the trophy and chats with Jeonghan.

"Is she single?"

The smile drops off your face and you throw a death glare at Joshua.

"Why do you wanna know that?"

Beads of sweat accumulates on his forehead as Joshua stumbles upon his words, "I-I, well-- It's..", and he finds this sudden urge within himself to explain it you before you misunderstand further, "Mingyu, my best friend, he wants to know about her."

"Didn't he just loose a match?", you ask him while your questioning gaze is fixated at Mingyu.

"Exactly! That's what I told him", he explains, "But he's like that only so if you could tell me.."

"She's single.", you respond to shut him up.

Joshua quietly cowers away.

"She's scary.", Mingyu laughs, "I thought she was going to bite off your head."

"Asshole.", Joshua quips, "She's single. Go shoot your shot."

Mingyu's eyes twinkles and skips away immediately.

Later, Mingyu manages to get Hyerin's number.

Mingyu and Hyerin are dating.

"Please Y/N", Hyerin literally corners you in your own bedroom, "It's just a double date--"

Your face contorts in distaste, "And with whom? Joshua Hong. No. Never. We both can't tolerate each other."

"Oh come on darling", Hyerin tries to persuade you, "I have talked to him, he seems good. Plus I've heard he was the star player of his previous school's basketball team. A heartthrob, you can say."

"He's good to you, because you're his best friend's girlfriend.", then you declare, "Otherwise he's an asshole."

"He's cute.", Hyerin corrects you.

"You know Hyejoo has been crushing on Joshua for sometime right? Why don't you ask her?", you sort to your last resort.

"Please, I don't her around when I'm chilling or on dates.", Hyerin sighs, "You know she's hard to handle and we both get her but other people can be uncomfortable sometimes. Last time at practice she said something ridiculous to Jeonghan, ofcourse as a joke but it was really off.", she shudders at the memory, "Jeonghan's always laid back so he let it pass."

"Okay. But why do you need us? Go on dates alone, spend time with each other."

"Because I want you to know Gyu and Josh better and same for Gyu.", Hyerin says grabbing your hands and sighs when she sees confusion written over your face, "Look even though we have just started dating but I think I like him. So I want you to know my boyfriend and his friend, you know, so you it's fluid between the four of us."

You understand. You are happy that you're her confidant. Everything makes sense except Joshua.

But when Hyerin gives you those puppy eyes, who are you to deny her.

"Fine. I'll go with you."

Mingyu gapes at Joshua in disbelief.

"What?", Joshua almost mewls and chucks a pillow at Mingyu, "Stop staring okay?"

Mingyu sits up on the bed, "So you have been talking to someone you don't know and what if that person turns out a psychopath."

"She's not a psychopath, Gyu", Joshua is immediately retaliates.

"She?", Mingyu is amused, "What if it's a he and a 50 year old weirdo?"

That sends Joshua off. After some moment of contemplation he says, "Whatever. They don't even know me and it's fine we just share our minds with each other."

"Dude you always that I'm crazy but I think it's you. You're the crazy one.", Mingyu pouts and scoots over to where Joshua is seated, "So about the double date...."

"We're not having this conversation again.", Joshua retorts.

"Why?", Mingyu now lays on Joshua's lap and looks at him, "Y/N is such a cool person Joshy. You'd love it. She's definitely better than that person you're chatting coz we know her."

Joshua rolls his eyes and places a hand over Mingyu's mouth, "We don't get along at all so no."

Mingyu bits his hand lightly and Joshua flinches in pain.

"Do me this favour Joshy, please.", Mingyu pleads, "We'll have a lot a fun I promise."

"I'm seeing her everyday Gyu, courtesy detention class. I have no will to see her more."

Mingyu's phone dinges a notification and his eyes narrow into slits as he reads it and Joshua knows it's definitely not something beneficial for him because--

"Y/N agreed to it.", Mingyu announces almost shoving his phone to Joshua's face as the later read the text from Hyerin saying the same.

He slaps away his friends hand, "Still a no."

"I thought we are best friends.", Mingyu says sadly as he gets up and takes his bag, "But seems I was wrong. Anyways, I'll get going."

Joshua knows Mingyu is pulling the best friend card yet he let's himself indulge into it once more.

"Fine.", Joshua hollers, "If I don't have a great time, I'll really cut you off Kim Mingyu."

Mingyu grins from ear to ear.

"Y/N, we got a call from your school.", your mother says. You don't like where this conversation is going.

"They informed us about your detention.", your father adds, "Why didn't you tell us?" "It's just a detention dad which will be over by the end of this week.", you say taking a bite of your sandwich even though your appetite was gone. "Y/N", your mother places her hand on yours, "You need to be serious about your studies. Your grades gonna decide your university. Remember that you'll have to take over your father's Pharma company because it's for you. This is our legacy." You are tired of the same old conversation. "I don't want to", your voice cracks as tears prick at the corner of your eyes, "I want to study fashion technology. I want to be a designer!" "We already had this discussion Y/N.", your fathers alerts and you are getting off the chair. "Getting late.", you say slinging your bag over, "Bye." Your parents look at each other solemnly. You can't pinpoint which part of the day went fine for you till now. Because everything was going wrong. First the conversation with your parents during breakfast, second Hyerin informing you about not attending classes today at the last moment over a text, third being late in the class and hearing a earful from the teacher and lots more to account for. Now, as you got some free time before the detention class starts, you decide to sew the remaining series of sequences on the piece of cloth you are currently working on.

You are pulling the needle from the backside when it pricks your index finger.

You're immune to this, it doesn't even sting much but your eyes are teary and you curse out in mumbles.

The tears start to roll your cheeks, you sob silently hiding your face behind your palms.

"Why did you agree to this double dating thing?"

You could see Joshua towering over you but don't raise your hear.

"I could have managed Gyu but just because you agreed I couldn't do so.", Joshua says angrily, "You are so annoying you know--"

"I'm sorry", you stand up, raising your head and your gazes meet.

Joshua instantly freezes when he sees your bloodshot eyes and hears your body racking sobs.

"I know I'm annoying. I'm sorry.", you cry out, "I-I'll just do something."

"Y/N--"

"I'll cancel out on them last minute with some excuses. I promise.", you are wiping your never ending tears as you continue, "So that from next time if they propose something you can always shut them up by saying that I bailed out last time."

"Hey please stop crying.", Joshua gently holds your arms as he crouches to look at you eye to eye, "Please tell me what do I need to do so that you can calm down?"

You don't respond and Joshua renders in panic as he feels you shaking under his touch.

Before the gears in his head could start turning he pulls you into embrace.

And when you still don't stop crying he gently rocks you and hums a soothing melody. His one hand strokes your hair and the other firmly hold you to his chest.

Your cries reduce to sobs until it stops.

"It'll all work out.", he says still rocking you and your hands fist on his shirt at the back.

"But it never works out", you whisper meekly.

"It will. I promise.", his says softly and with so much sincerity that it makes you want to believe him.

You pull away and ask, "You think it will?"

Joshua smiles as he wipes your tears and cups your face. His response comes in form of a soft smile and a firm nod.

"Now sit right here", he backs you and sits you up on the chair, "I'll be back quickly. Don't leave!"

He runs off halfway and calls Hyerin to know what's your favourite food or drink or anything that you make your mood shift even a bit.

And around 20 minutes later he returns with a bag full of cheese puffs, strawberry juice cans and butterscotch flavoured ice creams.

He pants but is relieved to see that you are still there and most importantly not crying.

But your rummaging through your bag.

"What are you searching for?", Joshua asks and sits beside you.

"Band-Aid", you sigh in defeat, "Of course I don't have it today. What a shitty day to be alive."

"I have it, wait a minute.", he fishes out one strip and asks, "Did you get hurt?"

"I pricked my finger with the needle.", you say extending your hand and he looks at you in concern as he applies the ointment and then wraps the Band-Aid.

"Don't worry, I'm used to it.", you try to lessen his worry, "If you do sewing with hands, you're gonna get a lot of it."

Joshua's wide eyes meets your as he realises what you're saying is correct and you find him adorable.

"Here", he hands the bag, "I got these for you."

You tear the seal and a broad grin sets on your lips.

"How did you manage to get all these?"

"Called Hyerin and run to nearest convenience store."

Your heart swells a bit, "You really didn't have to but thanks. I really mean it."

"I hope this helps you get through the day.", Joshua says and takes the ice cream stick you're offering him.

"It definitely will.", you thank him again, "I'll repay you by cancelling the double date. I promise."

Suddenly the idea doesn't sit well with Joshua.

You rack your brain hard to come up with an excuse so that the double date gets cancelled.

Looking at the time, you're about to pull your hair in frustration when your phone rings.

Hyerin calling ...

Panic surges within you causing you miss her call. You immediately call her back.

"Hey love, meet you at the arcade. I'm loving this dynamic between you two.", her suggestive tone confuses you, "I wanna know what's going on between you and Josh. Start getting ready, Josh will pick you up at 7 sharp. Bye."

"Wait what?", you squeak out, "Hello?? Rin?? Hello??"

What does she mean by that, you thought.

It was already 6:30 PM and you don't even have Joshua's number.

"Let's get ready Y/N.", you say to yourself, "If Joshua comes then fine, if he doesn't come the possibility of which weighs more, still fine you get the wear the dress you have made."

Your mood instantly lifts and you search through your wardrobe for that one dress which you have been meaning to wear for a while now. You had completed stitching the dress last month. It turned out really pretty, more than you had expected.

You had cried tears of pride and finished two tubes a butterscotch flavoured ice creams that night.

When you spot it, you caress the dress with gentle hands before taking it out and laying it on the bed.

It's a simple wrap dress, except for, you have recreated the whole dress using some torn out velvety clothings from your mother's old garments. You favourite part is that tie around which you reconstructed from a bodice and put the sequencing overall.

Green always looks good on. You're confident this one also would.

Putting on the dress, twirling around in pure joy and after being done with the makeup and pairing it with your favourite shoes you waited for Joshua.

Sharp at 7, your doorbell rings and you sprint down the stairs grabbing your sling bag to open the door.

"Wow", Joshua blurts out, eyes wide and mouth agape.

He's enchanted.

Your soft giggles breaks his reverie and he curses himself for being so obvious.

"You clean up nice too.", you actually word out the complement because Joshua is really damn good looking.

With his hair brushed back, you can see his exposed forehead and fine lined brows. The blue polo shirt that has been half tucked under the white chino pant is definitely enhancing him.

He's glowing under the strip light and you're sure he'd glow even more under the moonlight.

"Thanks", Joshua breathes out.

"Don't you have something to tell me?", your lips curl up as you say stepping out and close the door, "I was surprised when Rin--"

Joshua doesn't step back.

So when you turn you're words stuck in your throat as you almost bump into him.

But you don't bump into him. Rather there's hardly an inch of gap between you both as you stare at each other wordless.

You think he has kissable lips.

Joshua thinks you have beautiful pair of eyes.

You think his cologne smells nice.

He thinks no one ever did justice to any shades of green as much as you.

You think he has beautiful pair of eyes.

He thinks you have kissable lips.

So he leans down slowly and you don't back off. His breathes fan over your face and your hands find his.

He entwines his fingers through yours and you close your eyes.

He dips down further and is within the cusp of having luxury to put your lips together when the shrill ringtone cuts the atmosphere.

You open your eyes wide and Joshua yanks his hands backing off. You are frozen in place for a few seconds until Joshua's call of your name shakes you up.

He clears his throat and scratches his nape when you look at him.

"Gyu called.", he looks at everything and anywhere except your eyes, "They have reached and waiting for us. Let's go."

You grimace at the sudden change in atmosphere.

It's awkward and suffocating.

You both don't talk to each the whole time Joshua drives you to the arcade.

"Hey love, hey Josh", Hyerin greets as soon as you enter followed by Joshua.

You clinge to your best friend's arm and wave at Mingyu. He waves back with a huge grin.

"Guys", Mingyu calls out, "I checked the bowling ally and booked us the next slot. Let's go."

You have to unwillingly let go her arm when Mingyu extends his for her to hold.

But just before she goes, she whispers in your ear, "Did something happen between you two?"

Your eyes go wide for a moment but before she could catch up to it, you deny it. Her gaze lingers on your face trying to find any inconsistency but thankfully Mingyu ushers her away.

You and Joshua are left behind.

Joshua isn't looking at you at all and you ponder over the fact if you're going to have a good time it has to be with Joshua and this dynamic between you two has to change immediately.

"Do you want to go there?"

Joshua perks up and follows your gaze to the bowling alley where both of your best friends were having fun.

"Well.... actually no. Don't wanna interrupt them", he says, "I want to try basketball though."

"That's my favourite!", you are grabbing him by his hand, "It's that way."

Joshua smiles and he thinks that he could get used to your presence.

"You try first.", you say as you buy the tickets.

"Fine. Next round's on me.", he say taking his position infront of the machine.

You take your camcorder out and just out hold the device when Joshua scowls, "It's illegal to shoot without permission."

You realise that he's right and you mutter a quick sorry before switching off the device and shoving it into your bag.

When you look up again, Joshua is rolling of the sleeves of his shirt and while doing it he's looking damn hot  for some reason.

You gulp nervously and look away.

When you're courageous enough to back at him, he's brushing his hair with his hand.

Again, for some reasons he's looking damn hot.

You think you'd combust if you stay there another moment so you say, "I'll be waiting there", and fleet away.

No matter how much you try, your straying eyes lands on him and you get a whiplash from his chiseled jaw. He must have had his side profile sculptured.

You wonder if Joshua had been always this easy on eyes or it's your hormones talking all of a sudden.

Trying a way out of distraction you decide to text Anonymous.

But before you could apprehend your fingers type away a text that makes you groan upon reading it.

You:

[8:07 PM] How do you know if you like someone?

The lack of response comes from the other side makes you ponder if you had asked an invasive question.

Did you come out too cringey, you sigh in defeat and rest your phone on the table.

"Y/N!", you hear Joshua yell, "You gotta come here."

You would have waved him off if not he had that cute little pout set across his lips.

"Don't tell me you're not able to cross level 2", you laugh straight at his face.

"As if you're the highest scorer.", He retorts.

"So naive", you tsk taking your position in front of the machine.

Joshua goes to recharge the card and returns quickly to tap it on the scanner.

You swiftly pull him beside you and he looks at you startled.

You think he's startled because he's clueless.

He is startled because of the proximity between you both.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Obviously, we're both gonna play.", you say casually, "Otherwise there's no way to crack this unless you climb on this keep on keep ducking the ball in & out."

"Wait what?"

"Look as soon as the balls start rolling, keep on picking and throwing them up.", you set aside your sling bag and tie your hair up in a messy bun, " One thing try to aim when the basket slides to your side, I'll aim on mine otherwise other balls would collide with each other and fall off."

Joshua blinks.

You wait.

Joshua is still confused.

"Look, I have wanted to try this with someone for so long.", your pleading tone resonates with Joshua.

"You haven't tried it before?", he asks, "The way you gave the instructions I was pretty much sure you're a pro at it."

"I did try it with Hyerin.", you lament, "But given she's into sports, her arcade skills are zero."

Joshua snorts at this and gets ready to fulfill your wish.

"We're gonna beat this machine today.", he raises his fisted hand for a fistbump and you gladly reciprocate.

Your cheat key fails at Level 5 but you are happy.

Same for Joshua because he couldn't recollect when was the last time he had this much fun.

"Are you sure they don't get along?", Mingyu asks with a huge grin set on his lips.

"I don't know about Y/N but Joshua upped himself by delivering himself at her door today.", Hyerin smirks.

Mingyu rolls eyes, "Don't you think I didn't notice Y/N literally giving hearty eyes to Joshy."

Hyerin doesn't comment anymore, she just smiles.

That night after dropping you off at home, when he basks in the memories of the spent evening, Joshua realises he has got a text from Anonymous.

Anonymous:

[8:15 PM] How do you know if you like someone?

Joshua:

[10:45 PM] Sorry, had a busy day today.

Do you like someone?

Anonymous:

[10:47 PM] I'm not sure???

I think I like him, the same boy whom I used hate.

Joshua:

[10:48 PM] Should I be happy? What about me?

Kidding! Feelings works funny because I think I'm starting to like the girl I told you about before.

Anonymous:

[10:49 PM] Oh? Should I be happy?

We're really in same boat lol.

Hope we can sort it out.

Joshua:

[10:50 PM] Touché.

Detention classes are going to end today.

You should be feeling ecstatic but you have a glum aura around you as you splash the paint on the wall for one last time.

"You're amazing you know."

A small smile forms on your lips but Joshua doesn't need to see that.

"I just complimented you, are you seriously gonna ignore me?", Joshua bumps his shoulder to yours but you don't budge.

"You are gonna keep doing that?", Joshua let's out a sound of annoyance, "Fine, just remember I had no other choice."

Before you could ask or ignore, you are being turned around in a moment, in the next you are being dragged you have no idea where.

Mrs. Yoo smiles as she watches you both. She just wanted you both to stop hating on but what seemingly she's a getting a lot more than she bargained for.

Hyejoo glares at the two of you and though she isn't sure if she's serious about her feelings for Joshua, a green monster of jealousy starts to invade her mind.

You are pulled inside an empty room which you never knew existed and now you're being cornered by the guy who's causing your hormones to react horrendously whenever around him.

"W-What are you doing?", you gulp nervously, looking everywhere but at him.

"Why are you ignoring me?", he says in a desperate tone and it makes you feel bad.

Because I get nervous around you, I think I like you.

You want to say it all loud and get everything off your chest but you don't.

"I-I'm just being moody", you lie partially, "I have gotten my periods."

Joshua looks relieved, "So you're not particularly being hostile towards me? Oh that's fine. I get it."

You sigh in relief.

Then, his worrying gaze is scrutinizing your face, "Are you in pain? I shouldn't have dragged you here, really sorry. Do you need me to buy to anything? Do you want to eat ice creams--"

You hush him by putting your finger on his lips, though you wish if you could put your lips on his instead.

"I'm fine Josh.", you tell him, "Since today detention classes are ending do you wanna go somewhere with me afterwards?"

Joshua agrees in a beat.

Mrs. Yoon has a teasing grin across her lips when you both stand side by side waiting for her to give you the slips which marks the end of detention.

"I'm impressed how you both went from almost plotting murder to gardening together real quick.", she says with an underlying tone, "Oh, painting too. You've learned to breathe in each other presence, that's what I wanted. You're free to go."

You both quickly mutter a thanks to her and head towards the exit.

You wait for Joshua as he goes to where his bike is parked.

And he groans when he see Hyejoo waiting for him there.

"What do you want?", he asked bluntly, as he pulls his bike and wears the helmet.

"I want to sit on that bike of yours.", she says coyly, "Can I?"

"No.", Joshua says as he prepares to flee, "As I have told you before I have no interest in you. Please stop seeking attention from me all the time."

Her gazes turns shearer as she asks, "So who do you have interest in? Y/N?"

Joshua stiffens for a moment before deciding to ignore her wholly and riding away.

"He didn't even deny it, wow", she scoffs, "Fine, let's see how this goes."

"Such a beautiful place exists and I didn't even know about it?", Joshua laments, "How did you find this place?"

You smile looking ahead, sound of the waves calming you in an ineffable way.

"Accidentally.", you say after sometime, "But this is where you'll find me if ever you couldn't get in touch with me."

Joshua's heart tightens within his chest as he asks, "Why are you showing your safe place to me? Who else knows about this place?"

You don't respond right away and Joshua waits patiently.

"Hyerin, Hyejoo and someone I used to know, knows about this place.", you look at him with warmth in your eyes, "Now you know it too."

Joshua had never imagined that a person who got his coffee spilled, became his detention partner would also be the one who would cry in front of him because of having bad day to be cheatmates at an arcade game.

Joshua never got the slightest intuition that the person whom he hated the most would also become the person he'd be liking the most.

"I want to become a fashion designer. But my parents want me to manage our family business of pharmaceuticals.", your words, tone, aura, everything is emitting sadness, "I have tried to convince them since the day I found out about my passion but they won't let me. The discussion goes nowhere."

Joshua listen, not entirely but somewhat relating to the situation.

"Tell me about you, Josh."

Joshua finds you staring at back him.

He thinks for a while, trying to put together the words for you to make sense and then speaks, "My dad was a lawyer. And I respected him a lot, so I think because of that I found law intriguing.", he pauses and heaves a sigh, "After his death, I promised mom that I keep his profession alive through me. It was an impromptu decision I had made. I was barely 12 years old then."

You listen and empathize with him. You could take a guess where this is going and if not entirely, you can also somewhat relate to him.

"As I grew up, the realisation gnawed at me. I didn't find law intriguing anymore, I don't wanna be a lawyer anymore."

Joshua sounds so dejected that you wanna put his head on your shoulders and wrap your arms around him in an embrace.

But you only caress his back.

"I have tried to tell mom about it but I didn't yet have the courage to actually tell her yet because she's still so immersed in dad and the memories he left. She doesn't even change the old television we have which barely works coz it was one of dad's favourite possession."

He suddenly blinks almost comically, bambi eyes getting rounder and lips parted in awe.

"You're really cool you know!", he emphasises on the adjective for you to get the sincerity of it, "You already have a passion and you know what you want to do. Unlike me."

"You realize it's never too early or too late to find one's passion. We are too young for figuring out our entire life. There's time. There always a right time.", you too emphasize, "Maybe you don't know today but maybe you'll know it tomorrow or someday."

Joshua finds your words oddly comforting and true.

"You can try to make your mom understand little by little. Like how about convincing her to replacing the television or anything else that could be replaced. When and if she agrees find the right time to bring in the topic and get it to her slowly. She'll understand, after all she's your mother."

What you just say, tastes bitter in your mother maybe because you wished for your parents to understand you as well.

Joshua must be knowing how to read minds, because he says, "I would like you to use your advice to yours as well. Show your parents what you wanna do and why you wanna do it. Show them your dedication."

"I'll try.", you smile at him.

"I'll try as well." he echoes you.

When he left home today, he had a mission on his mind that was to get your number.

Because when he asked Mingyu for the same, he quoted something along the lines,

"You need to get it yourself. How long until you don't suck at getting numbers?"

Infuriating, cocky of a best friend Joshua has.

When he drops you at your doorstep, Joshua had those words on the tip of his tongue until you pull of his helmet and kiss his cheek.

Joshua.exe has stopped working.

It's too late when Joshua comes back to this realm because he hears a door slam and you're have successfully sprinted into your house.

Next time definitely, he promises to himself.

You:

[6:30 PM] shared a playlist

Anonymous:

[6:35 PM] I just went through the songs list and I must say you're a music nerd fr.

You:

[6:37 PM] That I am. This playlist represents me so I just gave you a glimpse of what I am.

Anonymous:

[6:39 PM] FYI your playlist has many of my favourite songs as well. We're so similar.

"Are you texting that random stranger again?", Hyerin grimaces as she situates herself between your legs, trying to take a peek at your phone.

When you ignore her she asks again, "What's going on between you and Joshua?"

"Nothing.", you answer simply, knowing Hyerin won't buy a penny of it.

You shift so that Hyerin falls flat on the bed and you lay beside her.

"Rin, even though I have been talking this guy--"

"Don't have no idea whether you're talking to a guy or a girl or a bot or whoever!", Hyerin huffs, "Look I know you like talking to them, share interests and all but can you seriously think about Joshua. You like him, don't you?"

You sigh in defeat, nothing goes past your best friend, "I do like him, Rin."

"I freaking knew it! You both are so obvious!", Hyerin laughs, "And cute."

"I'm going to tell him someday maybe.", you say, "Even if he rejects me, I can console myself saying atleast I tried."

"Before you do that, why don't you meet this Anonymous.", Hyerin suggests, "I mean look, I know you have crated an attachment towards them. So meet them in person, get to know each more and do tell them that you like Joshua."

You blink at her owlishly.

"What I mean is, sort things out. First go meet Anonymous so you know they're not some weirdo and if they're not great you got another friend. Then confess to Josh about your feelings.", Hyerin expectant gaze falls on you hoping you got what she's trying to say.

"Okay!", you say and she can almost see that see a lightbulb going off in your head, "I'll meet anonymous first, then... then we'll see."

"Then you'll confess to Josh, if he doesn't do it first.", Hyerin scoffs, "Please we know the amount of time you're both spending."

"What about Hyejoo?", you ponder, "Doesn't she also like Josh?"

"Look, I'm very much surprised Joshua made it past a week okay? But I really want her to see Jisung's the one for her. That poor boy, I don't know how many heartbreak he suffers everytime my sister chooses a new crush, chooses someone who's not him."

"And tell her to spend a day without Jisung, she'll go berserk.", you continue to add points, "I wonder how long until she realises it's been him all this time."

"I know right, she's so goddamn stubborn.", Hyerin laments, "Hope she doesn't pull something stupid to get to Joshua because he doesn't even have an ounce of interest towards her."

"Good for me I guess?", you shrug and get an 'aww' on return.

You immediately pull up your phone and send a text.

You:

[7:25 PM] I was wondering if we could meet up?

Anonymous:

[7:30 PM] What about your rule of not knowing each other personally ?

You:

[7:31 PM] The one who made the rule is trying to break it, so .....

Anonymous:

[7:32 PM] Ok cool, let's meet.

You:

[7:33 PM]

Okay day after tomorrow, 5 in evening at Crimson Café. Sounds good?

Anonymous:

[7:33 PM] Fine by me.

How are we going to recognise each other lol?

You:

[7:34 PM]

I'll be wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo on it.

Anonymous:

[7:35 PM]

I'll be wearing a green sweatshirt with Los Angeles written on it.

You:

[7:36 PM] Noted. See you on Thursday!

Next day when you cross the threshold of your school canteen, it's not Hyerin who gets hijacked by Jeonghan.

He hijacks you.

"What does the school heartthrob want from me?", you quip nonchalantly, "And you have a treat pending so...."

Jeonghan rolled eyes, "Oh my god, fine. After classes end, let's go to that bakery shop nearby. I heard they sell the best black currant cakes."

"Deal!", you bump his shoulder, "I'll be waiting by the exit. Will drop a text."

Jeonghan gives a nod, pats your head and part ways to attend the class.

Joshua has been occupying mostly of mind nowadays and you wonder if he was just a mere crush anymore. You also realise that you could have texted him asking if he's attending school today or not but you don't have his number.

You ask him for it next time, you take a mental note.

As promised, Jeonghan takes you to the bakery and after placing your orders Jeonghan finally ask a favour from you.

"It's the final project and I have no clue how to design the cover.", he tells you, "So could you please help me with it?"

Jeonghan knows you would definitely help him.

"Han, look to be honest, I have a lot of assignments and project to deal with", you explain, "So there's a limit on my end to provide you support. It shouldn't be taking long, we need to decide specific days and anyhow get it done by that."

Jeonghan sighs in relief, "Y/N you could have literally said no but you're an angel.", he grabs your hands and expresses his gratitude, "I'll mail you all the details and you have a look. Then we can decide on the rest."

"Sounds like a plan and you know I'd never not help you if I could.", you assert, "You are a good friend."

Jeonghan would never admit but his heart swells with emotions. For him too, you have been a good friend. Not always in touch maybe, but the one he can confide to anytime.

You let out a yelp when your pulled against his chest, as Jeonghan gives you a side hug.

"Dude what's gotten into you?", you scrunch your nose looking at him with pointed eyes.

"Well definitely not someone who goes by Joshua Hong.", he teases.

You gasp, almost scurrying away from him.

"Hyerin that little snitch!", you gruff in disbelief and Jeonghan laughs.

Joshua doesn't see you in school. He searches but you're neither in the canteen, nor with Hyerin or any of the classes he thought you'd be.

"Looking for Y/N?"

He hears a familiar voice and doesn't like it at all.

Hyejoo stands in front of him, her lips curled up in a smirk, arms crossed over her chest.

"If you know then tell me or mind your own business.", he deadpans.

Hyejoo definitely knows where and with whom you are because she had overhead you two while passing by and the absolute joy she got because that would definitely be a fuel to fire.

Joshua decides to walk off but what he hears next cause him to halt.

"Be careful Josh. Y/N maybe not be all what she seems to be.", Hyejoo says.

She continues on realising she has successfully garnered his attention, "I'm only saying because I care for you."

"What are you trying to imply here?", Joshua asks.

She chuckles, a mocking tone cutting through which Joshua fails to notice, "Did she ever breakdown in front of you?"

Joshua stills. A moment later he nods.

"You'll often have to handle that, not a big deal", her lips curl down as if in worry, "But as days goes she'll be blaming every irrelevant things on you. You won't be able to tell her that things are not working out for her because she's not trying."

Joshua is rooted to ground, he only listens.

"I assume you already know about her safe place."

Joshua feels like someone had poured a bucket of ice water on him.

"Your face says you know it.", Hyejoo taunts, "It's always like this. She's difficult to handle."

"What do you mean by always?"

"It was same with Junsik, her ex.", she utters hurriedly.

Joshua doesn't know what he's gonna do with all these information he just acquired.

"Let me take you where she is now."

That's how Joshua finds himself standing outside the bakery. Through one of window walls he sees you laughing at something Jeonghan was saying.

His hands balled into fists as he watches Jeonghan pulling you into his embrace.

You look so happy that Joshua's mind lingers back to the memories shared between you two and he doubts if you were ever this happy when you were with him.

When he sees Jeonghan feeding you, his heart constricts too tightly in his chest.

He realises that he doesn't like the intimacy between you and Jeonghan.

He realises he wants to swap places with Jeonghan, that he should be the one who gets to hug, to feed you or hold your hands.

He realises that he likes you.

He likes you a lot.

"You like her, it's so obvious", Hyejoo says impassively, "But does she like you back?"

Joshua has his minded clouded with all sorts of nonsense Hyejoo fed him with that anger seeps through his veins and clutters in his heart as pain.

He blames himself for believing that you would have some sort of liking towards him and he is indignant because you acted as if you would reciprocate his feelings.

Joshua leaves with a heavy heart and he might not have noticed the tears that were pooling his eyes.

Your eyes stray in anticipation everytime you sense someone passing by your table.

You wait for Anonymous as decided at the Crimson café with lot of expectations and only one hope for the person to be not any weirdo.

You:

[7:10 PM] I'm already in here.

Took the table nearest to the counter, the view looks good from here :)

You quickly send the text and rest the phone on the table as you take out your sketch book and start doodling.

Joshua is still heartbroken for which he really looks forward to meet Anonymous.

Today, he just wants to forget everything and have a good time.

To get you off his mind, to push back the career choices, he only wants that.

He heaves a deep breathe standing outside the café and his lips curl up as he reads the text he just received notifying that the one he's going to meet has already arrived.

Joshua pushes the door, walking in.

All hope dissipates instantly when he sees you, wearing a purple beret hat with a bear logo, sitting at one of the two tables nearest to the counter, other one being empty.

Joshua doesn't think anymore, he just sprints out of the café.

You sigh bored, finally getting your head out of your sketchbook and check the time.

You:

[7:24 PM] You didn't forget about meeting me today right??

Are you stuck somewhere?

It's 8 now, neither do you get a response of your texts, nor does Anonymous shows up.

You:

[8:03 PM] Are you still coming?

Did something happen? Are you okay?

Please just drop a text whenever you get this, I'm worried...

The clock strikes 9 and you're dragging your body out of the café.

You are worried. You are exhausted.

Not trying to read much into it, you coax yourself into believing that there must be a valid reason for Anonymous to take a raincheck on you. That you'll get a response and may be an apology later.

Next day when you wake up, the first thing you do is check your phone.

No messages.

You huff in annoyance but don't let it ruin your mood because today you have a mission.

To get Joshua's number.

Not a big deal, you could have easily gotten it from Hyerin but you believe it's best to be a little brave and get it from the person himself.

Generally, you have often bumped into him for the past few day but today, somehow it's hard to find him. You even doubt if he's attending school today.

But that doubt dissolves when you see him in the canteen, snacking on a snicker bar and scrolling through his phone with a bored expression.

A grin sets on lips as you walk up to him and occupy the seat across him.

He lifts his gaze from his phone and his heart drops when he sees you.

"Hey", you say, "I have been searching for you."

Suddenly, there's a screech and Joshua is dragging out his chair as he stands up.

Your curious eyes try to meet his but he doesn't look at you.

"Josh--"

"I have a class now.", he says and leaves.

You are confused and you are worried.

If he's having a bad day you want to help him, as he had done for you.

If he's bothered by something, you want him to eat up your ears by ranting it all out.

If he's tired, you want to put his head on your shoulder.

"I'll let him have his space for today.", you mumble in distaste, "But I miss him. I'm so miserable."

Next day you bump into him in the hallway.

"Hey Josh", you greet, smiling wide.

Joshua is stoic and you notice it.

"I have some work at library.", he says and just as he was about to take a turn you grab his wrist.

"Did something happen?", you ask with uncertainty, anxiety creeping in you slowly.

"Can you unhand me?", Joshua quips sharply, "If you haven't noticed it, I'm feeling uncomfortable."

You immediately release his hand and take a step back "I-I'm sorry --"

"Save it.", he says, "What do you want anyway?"

Your mind runs thousand miles on the memory lane to come up with anything you could have done to upset Joshua.

But nothing comes up. Absolutely nothing.

"I just want to get your number."

There you just had to say it when Joshua is vexed at you.

A scoff leaves his lips and he glares at you, "What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."

You think you're hearing everything wrong. You look at him as if he has grown another head and a pair of lips which are uttering absolute nonsense.

"How could you do this to me?", he asks, his gaze peering into your soul and wrenching at your gut, "I feel like you're always breathing into in my neck. And it's suffocating."

"What did I do, please tell me." , you plead in helplessness, eyes glistening with unshed tears and you all get in return is a condescending look.

"Stop pretending, oh my god", Joshua whispers in a threatening tone, "I don't want to see to you anymore.", with that he leaves.

You suck in a sharp breathe and close your eyes letting those tears fall. A sob throbs out of you and you are unbothered with the looks you're getting from those passing by.

Your mind only reels the words Joshua had spat out, the bitterness and hatred from them getting to you.

Joshua is the only good thing that has happened to you in a long time so you refuse let him go just like that.

Whatever it is, you're going to fix it.

"Mrs. Hong?"

"Y/N?"

You chest tingles in mirth as you ask, "How have you been?"

"Been good dear.", she answers in her calm voice, "What about you?"

"Okayish, I'd say.", your voice wavers, "Just stressed with finals and career choices."

"You should do whatever you feel like doing.", she advices, patting your head.

"My parents want me to handle the family business which I don't want.", you ramble, knowing that ranting about it to everyone won't change anything.

"Then fight for it", Mrs. Hong says, "Go to hell and back, take all of it. It's always better to try than to have regrets for life."

You nod, somewhat finding new confidence to have the conversation with your parents again.

"Your son must be lucky to have you as a parent, Mrs. Hong.", you comment with sincerity, "You know there's one thing I have always wanted. For my parents to ask me what do I want."

You place all your items on the checkout counter and solemnly tell her, "Mrs. Hong, you should also ask your son what he wants. You know as we grow up, we discover new interests, our choices change. You're a sensible parent so I want you to be the cool mom and support his descisions, whatever it maybe be."

Mrs. Hong stiffens for a moment. Her mind reels back to a lot of things and she has been complacent with Joshua on this matter.

"Mrs. Hong?", your concerned voice reaches her, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

You are suddenly pulled into her embrace and she thanks you.

"You might have unknowingly done me a huge favour.", she whispers on the top of your head.

"He has been cranky lately", Mingyu hums as he recollects, "Mostly cooped up in his room, doesn't even open up to me."

You and Hyerin grimace at his words.

"Did he shout at you?", you ask in hopes that it's only you but it's just a phase and Joshua is mad at every one.

Mingyu pouts because he knows the answer he's gonna give you is nowhere going to make you feel better.

"No, actually we went to arcade yesterday. He blew off his steam at that poor basketball machine but we're good. Like normal, just he's a bit more serious nowadays."

You slouch down and Hyerin glares at her boyfriend.

"It's okay, love. I think you should confront him asap.", Hyerin wraps her arm around your shoulder as she throws pointed eyes at her boyfriend.

Mingyu seems to take the hint and says, "I'm there to help you, just tell me what I need to do."

"For the starters, give me his number.", you insist, almost on verge pleading, "If I can't get through him, then help me to meet him alone."

"Okay ma'am!", Mingyu immediately takes his phone and sends you Joshua's contact.

"Thanks Gyu", you say and getting up sweep a glance at the couple, "Gotta go, I need to help Han to design the cover."

"Keep us posted Y/N."

You nod in acknowledgement at Mingyu's words.

Walking down the alley, you contemplate a lot of things, life is tough, yours is toughest.

Nothing seems to work out for you.

You want a career, your parents don't resonate with you.

You like a guy, he suddenly starts to hate your entire existence.

Taking out your phone you open Mingyu's chat to save Joshua's contact.

Just as you proceed to add it to a pops up appears.

Do you want replace the contact name from Anonymous to Joshua?

Your eyes go round like saucers as you re read the sentence again and again.

You trace back and confirm that it's actually Anonymous.

Joshua Hong is actually Anonymous!

"What are you playing at? Don't you already have my number. Stop messing with me."

Joshua's words ring in your mind and everything made sense to you now. That also meant he had come to the café and left without meeting you, misunderstanding the whole situation.

You immediately call Jeonghan only to cancel on him.

Next, you're calling Mingyu and as soon as he picks up you say, "Gyu, please anyhow bring Joshua to that old park, I need to talk to him, it's urgent."

Joshua is startled when Mingyu suddenly barges into his room and starts tugging on his sleeves.

"I need a help from you Josh", he says and Joshua could sense the urgency in his voice, "We have to be somewhere."

As an unsuspecting and good friend he was, he immediately agreed on it.

Suddenly he is dropped off outside the park with Mingyu saying, "Go inside and you'll know it", before riding away in his bike.

Joshua stands there for a moment, utterly confused but anyways walks into the park.

You wait for him, biting off almost all of your nails.

You figure out his silhouette approaching and you could also see his face morphing from confusion to distaste on seeing you.

"Is this some kind of prank?", Joshua yells out, "Very irritating."

You are prepared to hear all the harsh words and off word gazes you're gonna get.

You are also adament to dissolve the misunderstandings and confess your feelings for him today.

"I think there's a misunderstanding, you need to listen to me.", you speak stepping ahead.

Joshua doesn't respond and you take it as your cue to continue.

"I asked Mingyu for your number today.", you continue carefully, "That's when I came to know you are Anonymous."

Joshua scoffs, "You really think I'm gonna buy it? What do you take me for Y/N?"

"I'm not lying --"

"Oh so you're telling you bumping into me right after I texted you that night is pure coincidence? Pairing up for detention classes was also a mere coincidence? Don't you know it's quite weird, how I got to see you each and everywhere, often, more and more just after I hit you up with those texts.", Joshua's gaze is enough to cower you down, his words just added to his condescendness towards you.

"What are you getting at?", you ask bracing yourself for another set of insults you knew that are going to come your way.

"You clearly knew that it was me the whole time.", he spats out, "You just wanted some attention because of the petty princess you are. Oh did I mention attention seeker too?"

"You're not in your right mind Joshua.", you warn him, "Don't say anything you're going to regret later."

"I'm not gonna regret anything. The only thing I regret is meeting you. Do you always do this?", he asks rather accuses you and you shot him a look.

"Do what?"

"Make guys believe that you like them and them tangle them into a trash relationship?", he chuckles bitterly, "I almost believed that you like me until I saw you with Jeonghan. Are you gonna take him to your safe place too? Were you gonna treat us the same as you treated Junsik?"

You freeze on hearing that name.

"How do you know about Junsik?", your eyes sting and voice falters, "What do you know about him?"

"Does it matter now?", he disregards you totally, "You are really sick for playing me like that because I really liked you..."

You perk up at his words, the pain in your heart never subduing but tearing it into infinite pieces.

"But fortunately, it isn't too late.", his words are venomous, more than he could realise, "I want to see you ever again. So do me a favour and never show your face again."

Your sobs doesn't stop until you're biting your tongue to the point where the metallic taste fills your mouth.

You lift your gaze to look at him past your wet lashes, "I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-", you fist your hands focusing on them to not break down, "But your wish is granted."

You only say that much before walking past him.

The door to your heart, through which Joshua was making his way is cemented now.

"He said what?", Hyerin is raging and you are the one actually keeping her in check instead of getting comforted.

"Kim Mingyu what kind of bastard your best friend is?", she yells at her boyfriend, "Why are you even friends with him?"

"I still can't believe Joshua could say all this.", Mingyu mumbles, "I was quite sure that he liked you back and he obviously liked talking to Anonymous which turns out to be you."

"Leave it guys", you speak meekly through your sore throat, "It's all over--"

"It's not over, how dare he bring up Junsik?", Hyerin is sure she's going to commit manslaughter today, "What does he know about him?"

"I wonder", you sigh and lean against her shoulder.

"And he thinks, you were gonna double time him and Han?", she throws Joshua another punch at the gut in her head, "Who does he think he is? That bastard I'm-- I'm gonna ugh!"

Mingyu breaks into cold sweat on looking at his girlfriend, grimaces on watching you and fumes in anger when thinks about Joshua.

"Something must have happened, he ain't always like this.", Mingyu comments and is met by a death glare from Hyerin but he continues, "We need get it out of him."

"Whatever guys", you climb on your bed, laying down, "If you want me as your friend then never bring up Joshua ever again. I'm being serious right now.", you pull over the comforter and point your index towards the door, "Thanks for coming but now you both please get out."

Once the door slams shut, all the tears you've been holding stream down as you indulge in self dejection and that broken heart of yours bleeds in scarlet red. A colour so beautiful yet vicious.

A colour that Joshua gave you so brutally.

Joshua Hong was cruel to you and you pledge you're not going to give him the luxury to hurt you again, you're going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.

Joshua Hong is a just stranger to you now.

Joshua doesn't immediately leave from the park. He takes a seat on one of the rusty swing and cools down. And while doing so his mind lingers back on the recent episode he had with you.

Joshua is generally a calm guy, a bit cranky but mostly calm. So when his own voice echoes in his mind saying those words to you, he topples with guilt.

He knows he went overboard and he was the actual sick one for bringing up your ex into the conversation.

But words once said cannot be taken back.

Letting the emotions get consume you is never a wise choice and Joshua made that mistake today.

His heart constricts when he remembers your tear stained cheeks, hurt eyes and maimed demeanor.

"I also liked you Joshua, like a lot. Gosh I might be in lov-"

He laughs. He is humored at how sincere you sounded when you were lying.

A Jack of Fools.

You are watching an interesting movie on your phone when someone taps you on your shoulder.

You crane your neck to see Jeonghan, seriousness ghosted over his face.

"What happened?"

He heaves a sigh and takes the sit across you.

"Before you start", you say getting up, "Let me bring something to eat."

Joshua enters the canteen and is displeased to see it extremely crowded. He searches and gladly he finds an unoccupied seat which he quickly takes.

On sweeping his gaze he finds Jeonghan occupying the table in front to his so he seats with his back faced to the later.

That's when he sees you passing by and hears a screech of chair. You place the food tray on the table as you take the seat opposite to Jeonghan's, and behind you is where Joshua is seated.

You don't notice Joshua.

"Spill.", you say, passing him a plate.

Jeonghan relents. He stays quiet for a moment before he's speaking, "It's about Seji."

You nod and wait for him to continue.

"We've been talking again.", he says and he wants to say a lot more but he cuts it down to, "My feelings are resurfacing."

"Your feelings for her were never gone.", you shrug poking the food on your plate you continue, "Look I don't get what the concept of being on & off is, so either you both get back or cut each other off. Otherwise I'm sorry but this looks very toxic to me."

"You're always so brutally honest", Jeonghan mops, "and have a clear conscience that's why I always confide in you."

"Oh, it's nice to hear that, someone just called me liar, sick and all sorts of synonyms it could go for.", You say meekly.

Joshua who has been eavesdropping, in his defence he had no choice as they sat behind him, it was all audible.

Jeonghan gasps in disbelief, "Who do I need to chain on? Tell me."

You give him a knowing smile and Jeonghan understands.

"Joshua berated you?", he ask gently, "I thought you were going to confess your feelings to him?"

Joshua freezes.

Then he hears a sob.

"Please, please don't cry. I don't know what happened but he doesn't deserve your tears.", Jeonghan rushes over to you as he hands you his handkerchief, "Gosh, I can't believe someone could hurt you so much. Promise I won't ever bring him up again, stop crying please."

You shake your head, wiping your tears, "I-I liked him a lot Han. And he said I was gonna double time with you and him."

Joshua hisses, he's ashamed.

Jeonghan sees red when he hears this, "He said what? No, I need to find him and beat the shit out of him. What a jerk, good riddance Y/N. Curse him all out now."

"Please Han", you tug on his sleeves, "He doesn't deserve any of this attention. I don't even want to hear his name anymore."

Jeonghan seethes but he decides to let it go for now. He would definitely deal with Joshua later.

"How about I take you that bakery? We can have everything you want!", he tries to cheer you up.

But you shake your head in protest, "You already bribed me so much for a mere cover design Han. I shouldn't rob you anymore."

Jeonghan rolls eyes, "Please it's not a mere cover, it requires so much effort and even though you're crammed with your tasks, you decided help me diligently."

"Fine.", you say, "You better sort things out with Seji and I'll text you when I work over on what discussed on before."

Joshua is this close to turn around, the apologies being on the tip of his tongue.

But you are leaving and Jeonghan follows you not before throwing a glare at the back of the person about whom you both just had a conversation.

Jeonghan knew about Joshua sitting exactly behind you this whole time.

"Hey mom", Joshua greets as he sits on the tool, "You wanted to discuss something?"

Mrs. Hong is standing by the kitchen counter, your words have been ringing in her head since that day and she wants her only son to know that he doesn't need to feel burdened if at all he has been feeling so.

"I want to ask something and I'm expecting an honest answer from you."

Joshua straightens in his seat as his attentive eyes fixates on his mother.

"What do you want to do Shua?", she elaborates when she see creases on his forehead out of confusion, "As in your choice for a career?"

Joshua's eyes goes round, as this was totally unexpected to him, something he had been meaning to bring this topic but never had the courage.

It suddenly felt like a blessing as he collects his thoughts and frames the sentence in his mind before speaking out.

"Mom, I don't want to be a lawyer.", he says and waits for his mother's reaction.

Mrs. Hong falters a bit but she quickly regains her composure.

Joshua notices, it's natural and expected, so he continues, "I don't know what I want to do but it's definitely not law mom. Just for clinging onto it because it was dad's profession, I don't wanna regret it later, have depression and blame everyone for it."

Mrs. Hong walks over to her son and pulls him into her embrace, "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I wanted to mom but I didn't have the courage to break your heart, knowing how much you treasure everything related to dad.", he whispers, voice wavering, "But won't dad be happier if I follow my passion and live in content?"

"Yes, he'd be so happy. I'm sorry for being so ignorant", Mrs. Hong sobs, "I should have been more attentive. You're allowed to do whatever you want Shua."

Joshua smiles in relief, a big weight being lifted off his chest.

"Thanks mom.", he say sincerely, "Thanks a lot."

"We both should be thanking that girl.", Mrs. Hong laughs, wiping her years and also patting her son's back.

"Who?", Joshua quips up.

"Oh you wouldn't know her." she says, "She made me realise that parents often take matters related to their children for granted and for providing them expect something in return."

"Please thank her on my behalf.", Joshua requests.

Next day, Joshua reaches the classroom as soon as he could because it's the only class he shares with you.

He just wants to see you.

You enter the class minutes after he does. Joshua's gaze is on you, you are aware but your gazes never meet, not when you walk past him and sit in the back.

In today's class, you are gonna get to know the project topics and will be assigned partners for completing the same.

Joshua hopes he get paired with you.

You pray to get assigned with anyone but Joshua.

"You can choose your partners.", the teacher announces, "In groups of two."

You groan, definitely luck not your side because you knew no one except one and the one you knew you'd never pair up with him.

Joshua is sure that universe is giving him a chance and with his new found confidence, he walks upto the walks to your desk.

When you see Joshua walking your way, you think he's gonna pass by but instead he halts infront of you.

You are going to be unbothered, apathetic and indifferent to him.

"Hi Y/N..", he says with hesitancy.

You don't even spare him a glance.

Even though he's sweating and up on his toes, he asks, "Will you be my partner for this project?"

"No.", you say resting your face on the palms of your hands, still not looking at him, "Thanks for asking though."

"I'm sorry Y/N.", he just wants you to look at him atleast but you don't make any effort to do so, "I went overboard that day. Said many things I shouldn't have. I just--"

"You have said all the things you wanted to say because you wanted to hurt me.", you crane your neck to lips curl up in a mocking smile, "You don't have to apologise to look good to yourself specially when you don't mean it. Don't be a hypocrite and let's pretend to not know each other from now on."

You are standing up, grabbing your notebook as you continue, "Since you don't want to see my face, don't talk to me."

Joshua's words are coming to bit him back as pure venom.

You take out your phone, "Look here, I'm doing this infront of you so that you can get assured."

Joshua's curious gaze falls on the screen and his heart drops when he gets your intention.

"See I'm blocking your number.", you press on the block button and your thumb hovers over the delete button, "And now I'll delete your contact. Rest assured, you won't be bothered by me."

Joshua stays rooted to the ground until the teacher calls his name.

Fortunately, you don't get paired with Joshua.

"I don't want to see his face, let alone talk to him", Hyerin barks, literally barks, "You're calling in for your best friend's murder, I'm warning you."

Mingyu agrees that he's hypothetically plotting a murder by letting his girlfriend meet his best friend.

"Babe, when I said we need to get the root of this, we are gonna do so.", Mingyu warns Hyerin, "Now, when Joshua walks in through the door, I'll talk to him. You only speak when needed."

Hyerin huffs, "Lucky that I love you."

Mingyu grins and pecks her lips.

The door creaks open and Hyerin scoffs, "Here comes the idiot."

Joshua doesn't have a good feeling, specially seeing Hyerin who's constantly glaring at him and he thinks that's enough to drill holes into his skull.

"Hi guys", he tries to initiate a conversation, "Why did you wanna meet?"

"First, what you did Y/N was very lowly", Mingyu says, "I'm very disappointed in you."

Joshua sits quietly, hanging his head low.

"What do you know about Junsik?", Hyerin interrogates, "How do you know him?"

Joshua fiddles with his fingers and sits wordless.

"We're not here to look at your face, you better open that stupid mouth of yours like you had done that day.", Hyerin barks again, her patience wearing thin.

"Hyejoo told me about him.", Joshua says and looks up at her.

Hyerin stiffens, all the words she was about to gurgle gets stuck in her throat.

Joshua finds an opportunity and he relays everything that happened to the couple.

"You should have asked me about Jeonghan atleast.", Mingyi sighs, "And how could you bring up Junsik when you don't even know a thing about him?"

"Junsik was Y/N's first, well only boyfriend till now", Hyerin reveals, "who had dumped her over a text because he fell in love with a new chick in the school he just got transferred to. He just threw away a relationship of two years just like that."

"She has been aloof since then. Always reluctant to make friends, didn't show interest in other guys", she looks dead in his eyes, "Until you came along. But it's her bad luck, you also turned out to be a douche. And she was so excited to meet Anonymous until you intently stood her stood. I hope karma to be an actual bitch to you."

Joshua feels like he has been pushed into the trench, like what he deserves.

Hyerin feels humiliated because she had never thought that her sister could be so much of a menace.

She gets up and Mingyu looks at her alarmingly.

Placing her hand on his hand in assurance she tells, "Hyejoo needs to be taught a lesson so I need to go. I'll drop by Y/N's to apologize to her."

"Babe, don't blame yourself okay?", he says affectionately as he wraps his arms around her waist, "It's not your fault. Just go & handle the things your way."

She turns to look at Joshua, "I wonder how long you have known Hyejoo to believe all the shit she uttered that day."

The door slams and Joshua breathes out.

"I like her a lot, Gyu.", Joshua says in distress and Mingyu scoffs.

"Who, Hyejoo?", he counters, "Because that's the only plausible option I can think of."

"Right, I deserve to be mocked.", he admits, "You're so dumb Joshua Hong."

"Stop being miserable than you already are and if you are ready serious about Y/N, then make it up to her and confess your feelings.", Mingyu suddenly grins as he says, "I hope you get rejected five times before she accepts you."

Joshua could only grimace at his words. You couldn't pinpoint since when it started but you have been receiving some items with a cute note everyday. First time it was a mini bouquet that was kept in your locker with the note saying-

Like a bouquet tied with twine, I can be yours if you will be mine.

From, Your Anonymous

You didn't read much into, thinking someone must have mixed up the locker numbers. Next day, you found a miniature panda with another note saying- In a room full of basic brown bears, you are my panda.

From, Your Anonymous This time the gears in your brain turn harder when you reread the note. A lightbulb goes off and you find the literal meaning of the words at the end.

Your Anonymous means Your Anonymous in literals who is none other then Joshua Hong. That note and the teddy goes straight into the trash can. Third day, you find a strawberry juice can and a note which makes you snort.

You're the grenadine in my tequila sunrise. Without you, I'm just this strawberry juice.

From, Your Anonymous. "Now he's playing on my weakness.", you mumble eyeing the can, not having the heart to chuck it into the trash can.

Joshua watches as your stand there in dilemma with a grin set on his lips. The strawberry juice can ultimately doesn't show up in the trash can.

One day, you are climbing up the stairs reading an article on your phone when you bump into someone.

Very surprising, you find Joshua in front of you.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?", he asks and you dismiss him immediately turning to go on a seperate way when he says, "It's urgent, please."

You tail behind him as he leads to you a random empty class. You lean against the wall, Joshua stands at a distance.

"Tomorrow is my mom's birthday and I bought her a dress.", he starts explaining, "I accidentally tore a button...."

Silence fills in the air and Joshua watches you intently for any reaction. He watches your eyes go wide in absolute disbelief and next you're hitting him on his arm,   "Such an idiot", another hit, "Where's the dress? We need to fix it soon." Joshua is overjoyed but he doesn't show. "It's at home.", Joshua says, "Do you want me to bring it to school?" You roll eyes, "Have you thrown the remaining 1% of your brain in gutter?" Joshua nods, resembling a kicked puppy. An adorable kicked puppy. Your heart twists abnormally in your chest, no he's not the guy you like anymore, get a grip on yourself, he can be all cute but it doesn't effect you anymore-- "Y/N?" "Yes?" "So..."

"Oh yeah-- I don't have classes anymore so if it's okay with you then we can go now.", you offer curtly, "Since her birthday is tomorrow, we don't have time." You awkwardly stand in the middle of the hall as Joshua goes somewhere seeking for his mother. You hear their voices, not able to make anything coherent out of it as the padding sound of footsteps against the floor increases. Joshua walks in followed by his mother so when you see her you almost shriek in shock, "Mrs. Hong?" "Y/N?", Mrs. Hong, pushes her sone aside and runs to hug you, "Oh my, what a pleasant surprise!" Joshua stands as confused as ever as he watches you both gush about each other. "Shua", his mother calls, "I was talking about her, she's you were seeking for. Thank her yourself." Joshua feels all the air leaving his lungs at once. It's you, again. The same girl who he had trash talked straight on her face. The same girl who is present in his house just to help him. The same girl who he likes loves. He leads you to his room and the entire time you could sense the sudden shift in his aura. Crossing threshold of his room, hits you with a surge of Joshua. You look around, watching a large poster of LeBron James pasted on the wall adjacent to his bed. A huge stack of books about economics pilled up on his study table and a neatly made bed. "Here", Joshua lays the dress on the bed and hand you detached button, "How long will it take?" You deadpan, "Hardly 5 minutes." His face falls like tons of brick and it's so obvious that you had to stiffle a laugh. The dress is beautiful, you think but it's plain, too plain for your eyes and your hands itch but you should have no business with dress apart from stitching that button back. Joshua notices and he knows what's going on inside that mind of your. He trusts you, he wants you stay longer so he plays it down, "Don't you think the dress is simple. I bought it because that colour is beautiful and rare." You perk up at his words and Joshua swears he could melt into puddle if he'd stare at your doe eyes one more second. "I could stitch a flower towards the left flange of the dress.", you ponder over and ask, "What's her favourite flower?" "Daisies", he answers. "Oh that will be comparatively easy", you clasp your hands in excitement, "A simple satin stitch would do." Joshua looks at you with all the attentiveness in the world. His heart swells and he realises that it's been long he has stopped crushing over you. His heart yearns for you and maybe that's the reason he was hurt and raged seeing Jeonghan with you. He admits to loving you, he hopes that you'd give him another chance just to show that how much you mean to him. "Give me the dress", you are already searching designs on your phone, "It will take around 4-5 hours. Come and get it by 9." "Can I be with you?", he asks and you shot him a look. "What are you gonna do, except for bothering me?", you quip back, "Don't you hate me?" "I lov-- I won't bother you promise. Just let me be with you." His underlying tone resonates in your ears and heart does flips when you look him in the eyes. Brimming with emotions (read: love) "I don't have any other choice, do I?"

"Can you stop staring at me?", you finally blurt out, "Also, if you could not breathe on my neck!" Joshua doesn't bother listening to you, he's just having the time of his life watching you closely, basking in your presence. You are almost done with stitching the embroidery and Joshua yet again raises his hand to your mouth urging you to eat the pastry, one of the enormous amount of items he bought for you, emphasizing it's his way of saying thanks. "I can eat it myself--" "But both of your hands are occupied." This reasoning would take you nowhere. He has been acting as a lovesick soul, touch starved body and happy fool around you. And it's certainly not helping your heart in keeping check. You have finally embroidered the daisies and it turned out prettier than you had expected. "You can work magic on fabrics you know.", Joshua sincerely complements you, "Thanks a lot Y/N." "No big deal.", you smile, "Mrs. Hong is an amazing woman, she deserves all the love." Joshua gleans but suddenly remembers the purpose of crashing in your place. "Hey, there's a basketball game at my previous school on this weekend and I'd be playing, would you like to come?", Joshua asks. You look at him with a scowl on his your face, "Why don't you ask your Hyejoo to come with you?" Joshua almost scurries but it will be a lost battle if backs down now. "Am I not being obvious?", Joshua asks all seriousness ghosting over him. "What?" "Am I not being obvious with my feelings?", Joshua asks again. "What are you insinuating?" "I want you, only you, and no one else to come to my match. You matter to me because..", he breathes in, breathes out, shuts his eyes, open them just to say-- "I love you, Y/N." He does it. Says the words he had been meaning to tell you, the words those set themselves on the tip of his tongue whenever he saw you. "Josh..." He smiles at the slip of his nickname from you and leans in to you. "I was so mad when I saw you with Jeonghan, because I was jealous.", he admits, "I wanted to be the one feeding you, wanted to be the one hugging, to be the only one to closely watch that beautiful smile of yours." You are rendered speechless. But Joshua has so much to say. "The outburst I had, it was only because I realised I have been in love with you and the possibility of you not reciprocating, was hurting." He rummages through his bag and you see him taking out a jersey. "You don't have to say anything now.", he smiles and pats your head, "Think through and", he hands you the jersey, "Let me know on the match day." You lay the jersey on your bed and see a 17 imprinted on white below the name Joshua. Joshua is by the door when he calls your name, "Whatever your decision is, I'll respect it.", and he's out of your room and house. You don't know much about basketball but you know when a player gives their jersey to someone prior to a match, what do they want and what can the indications be. You let out a scream and immediately fetch your phone to dial a number, "Hello, Rin...."

It's matchday. Joshua is nervous. Partially because of the game, partially because of you. When Seungcheol, a good friend and teammate of his from previous basketball school team had requested him to play one last game before they officially strike out his name from the team list, Joshua agreed instantly. A farewell game, he thought. The team does warm ups and stretches before the game starts. Joshua steals glances at the courtside every now and then but fails to find you. He's afraid that you won't come at all and his heart would shatter into millions. "Hey, looking there often won't make her magically appear.", Seungcheol knows and he teases, "I never thought our best shooting guard would be playing shooting hearts too." "Oh juicy juicy", Soonyoung, another teammate, who's also the centre of their team quips in when he overhears the two, "Joshua Hong is in love!!!", he shouts a little too loudly out of enthusiasm and now the whole team knows. The warm up is over and the game starts in twenty minutes.

Joshua checks his phone for one last time to see no notifications of your name and remembers you have his number blocked and contact deleted. Dejected, he switches off the device and deposits it to the collector, heading to change into his jersey. The game is already into the second quarter and Joshua's team is leading by only four points. Soonyoung slips causing his dribble to be cut and the opponent's point guard steals the ball and scores a two pointer. Soon the whistle blows and both the teams head to their respective locker rooms. As soon as Joshua enters the room, he's slammed against one of the locker by Seungcheol. He groans in pains at the sudden impact. "Listen dude, I get you're vagued but please don't let the team down. Coach is already contemplating on substituting you.", Seungcheol is frustrated, but he cares, "I want the best shooting guard within the entire school to score points. Stop being diverted and focus on the game." "Sorry", Joshua gruffs out, "I will--" "What the hell? Unhand him right now Mr.!" The whole locker room pivot their attention on the source of the voice. Joshua thinks he's hallucinating when he sees you standing in front of them, hands crossed over and brows cocked. Wearing his jersey and having his jersey number, 17 painted on your left cheek. Seungcheol looks at you, then he looks at Joshua to get the confirmation he needs. "It's her guys.", he announces with a huge grin as his hands free Joshua. Suddenly the locker room fills with  whistles, hoots and hollers. "Hi! Thanks for coming. I'm Soonyoung by the way.", a guy with questionably dyed hair greets you. "Hi, I'm Y/N...", you greet him back and gulp nervously when you realise all pair of eyes are on you. "We don't need to be here anymore it seems.", Mingyu tells Hyerin and the later nods, the two leaving to occupy their seats at the courtside. "Thanks in advance for saving the match.", Seungcheol comes to you and says, "And I'm Seungcheol, the captain." Then he looks at Joshua, "You have 10 minutes", and announces, "Clear out the room guys!" Everyone follows, all of them greeting you with huge grins making their way out. Now the two of you are left and the atmosphere turns heavy. You walk upto Joshua and grab his arms to shake him out of the trance. "Hi", you giggle. "You came...", Joshua whispers. You are about to say something but suddenly you feel yourself loose a footing as you are slammed against the locker, hands pinned over it. Joshua hovers over you, his body pressing yours and if you entire focus isn't on his lips, you could have heard both of your hearts beating rapidly. "Can't believe you agreed to be all mine, I don't deserve you ", he whispers leaning closer. "Just kiss me & seal the deal.", you bite your lips, gaze flicking to his eyes. "Gladly.", he smiles and closes the gap. Your lips are just touching when the whistle blows. You laugh, giving him a slight push, "Times up." Joshua tries to get back on you immediately but you manage to run out his grip and the room yelling, "Earn your kiss, babe!" And Joshua takes it personally. You never knew basketball matches could be this exciting and you regret not attending them previously. Oh the man, Joshua Hong is, your eyes are glued to him as he runs around the court with that sweat glistening glow on him. The game is now into it's last quarter and you squeal as Joshua scores a two pointer extending the lead. Everytime he scores, his teammates cheered looking at you and you're sure that the whole arena knows that Number 17 of home team is either trying to woo you or you both are already a thing. It's a few seconds until the game ends and opponents foul Joshua. All the players stand behind the three points line and the free line extension. You are brimming in anticipation as you see Joshua taking position at the base of the line. The home team needs their shooting guard to score the three points from the long shot. The long field goal which would seal the win. The referee blows the whistle, a cue for Joshua to shoot his shot.

Joshua takes a deep breathe, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. The arena is pin drop silent all eyes on the man on the line. You breathe hitches when Joshua raises his hands holding the ball and looks at you. "This one's for you!", he yells and releases the ball looking forward. You swear the time slows down as the ball revolves on the ring, you admit dramatically, before it falls into the basket. The arena blasts with cheers and Joshua is already hurled over on his teammates' shoulder as they hail his name. You see him. He sees you. Then you're running down the stairs and jumping over the partition to reach him. The team hollers when they see you in the court. Putting down Joshua, they push you to him, circling the two of you as they chant in delight, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" You grin looking at him which turns into a gasp when he suddenly grabs your hips and lifts you up. "Am I worthy of getting a kiss now?", he asks, smiling cheekily. Your response comes in form of you dipping down and placing your lips on his. You feel him smile against your lips as they slot into each other perfectly and he holds you to him tighter. "Get a room!" You both hear a yell, knowing it came from Mingyu. You are the one who breaks the kiss but Joshua pecks you one more before putting you down. The teases never simmer down for the rest of the evening.

"Thanks for all backing me up the whole time I was talking to them, my parents even started looking for universities for fashion technology courses.", you sigh in content, resting your chin on your palm. "You did a lot more for me. Talking to my mom, making me signing up for the varsity training program and whatnot.", Joshua makes sure you know how grateful he'll always be. "Oh by the way I changed your contact back to Anonymous.", you inform him. "You can't do this your boyfriend!" Joshua props beside you, with pouty lips and doe eyes. "I can. I already did.", you deadpan. "Why should my contact be saved as Anonymous?", he tries to snatch your phone, "Change it to babe, love, sweetheart anything. "You glare at your dramatic boyfriend, "Because that's where it started. You are my Anonymous." Joshua grins, finding it somehow cute and romantic at stance. "Anonymously Mine.", you say. "Anonymously Yours", he echoes.

Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️

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Vanilla [M] Pairing: Joshua Hong x Fem!Reader Tags: 11.2k words, Friends to Lovers, Smut, 18+ Summary: Joshua has a secret but perhaps it’s not really a secret at all. Maybe you’ve just refused to see it in an effort to keep your feelings at bay.

Warnings: explicit sexual content 18+, minors dni!, bdsm practices, rules & safe words established, mean-dom!josh, newbie-sub/brat!reader, unprotected sex, oral, fingering, choking, manhandling, hair pulling, biting, spitting, breast/nipple play, pussy/breast slapping, manhandling, deep-throating, face-fucking, cum eating, finger sucking, handcuffing, restraints, vibrators, temperature play, rough spanking w/ mentions about markings/bruising, demoralizing dirty talk, coarse language, multiple orgasms, over-stimulation, safe wording!, casual alcohol consumption at dinner, minor possessive!josh, some pet names, moderate sir kink, inappropriate son-in-law behavior while on the phone w/ mom, aftercare, feelings. 

To be fair…he had given you ample warning. It was entirely your fault that you hadn’t believed him when he told you you’d regret your words. 

You grew up with Joshua, knew him inside and out, like a book you’d read a million times and yet somehow, you had entirely skipped the chapter detailing his sexual proclivities every time. It had been tucked away between your first hand experience that Joshua was essentially an angel in everyone’s eyes your entire lives, including your own. 

He was in the top percent in every grade, a student athlete, a member of the church choir, he volunteered with his family every weekend, graduated from an Ivy League university, and then landed a high-paying job at a huge company. He was attractive, warm, kind, funny, responsible, polite, so on and so forth.

He was the type of boy every mom, including your own, wished for her daughter to someday marry and yet seemingly none of that made a difference now. 

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wildest dreams | joshua hong

ミ★ synopsis: it’s your last year of school forever, and you’re about to meet the most horrifying chapter of life: the real world. now worrying about your life’s lack of spontaneity, you decide to get married to your best friend in vegas for 24 hours. [ dedicated to @svtskneecaps ! surprise ^^ i’m your secret santa <3 ]

ミ★ genre: best friends to lovers!au, fake dating!au (kinda), fluff, humor

ミ★ warnings: not realistic ! you can’t get married and divorced within 24 hours, but for the sake of fan fiction, it’s allowed <333 (i also mention joshua’s boobs in this)

ミ★ word count: 6,778

ミ★ pairings: joshua hong x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: happy holidays ! this is a special oneshot written for a special someone hehe.. vic, i’m your secret santa as you can see ! i’m not sure if this is exactly in the realm of what you wanted cause it was so broad, but i hope it brings a smile to your face </33 i love you vic !! thank you for being you !!! p.s. (12/26) i edited the temp. for the AC cause i realized you were absolutely right LMAO idk why i put 74 at first

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Domino

Summary: After a one night stand on your birthday, you never expected to meet the stranger again. You also never expected him to enter your life permanently.

Joshua X Afab!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Crack, and Smut

Cw: Standoffish reader (only for a bit), SoftDom!Joshua, Sub!Reader, Protected sex (don't get used to it), Slow burn (sorry), Frat parties, Joshua is a butt when he's drunk/hungover, Josua is also bad at feelings, Throwing up (from drinking), Past fling with Jihoon(so y'all are pretty close), Jealous Joshua (sorry if I forgot anything)

W.C.: 17.8K

You never expected to spend the morning after your birthday scrambling around in a cheap hotel for your clothes. It was currently 10am and you were trying to locate your bra in the mess of clothes that decorated the floor, all while trying to stay as quiet as possible. You froze as you heard the stranger shift in bed, praying that he was just tossing and not actually waking up, You’re hopes however were dashed when you heard a rough “good morning,” leave his lips. You said a quick good morning back, as you finally located your bra. You threw it on and turned around to grab your dress, slipping on the small piece of fabric as you pulled it down over your ass. 

“Leaving so soon?” the male who was now sitting up, fakely pouted, laughing a bit under his breath as he watched you struggle. “Yup,” you said, groaning once you reached in your purse only to find your phone was dead. “Can I use your charger, I need to call an uber.” the male sighed before reaching towards the bedside table and grabbing the charger, he reached out his hand for your phone which you handed to him. You stood next to the bed waiting for your phone to turn on, the air between you was awkward as you avoided looking at the shirtless male. Once your phone chimed on you quickly ordered an uber, sighing when you saw the closest one was about 15 minutes away. 

“You can sit down, ya know, I won’t bite, unless you want of course.” you scoffed at him and looked away, scrolling through your unread messages from all your friends. “How come you’re so silent, I couldn’t get you to shut up last night?” Rolling your eyes, you sighed at him again, “I don’t know if you’re dumb or what, but I don’t plan on repeating this, so you can stop trying to make small talk.” You continued looking at your phone, praying that your uber would get there faster. “Geez, someones not a morning person,” he chuckled before throwing off the covers. He stood up and walked past you towards the bathroom, which made you sigh in relief that you wouldn’t have to hold conversation with the annoying male. 

Even though you thought he was annoying, you weren’t going to pass up the chance to get laid, and you were definitely not complaining when you were actually in the bed. Waking up next to him though just reminded you how annoying he had been when talking to you at the club last night. You had ignored it though in favor of taking the gorgeous man on the dance floor and grinding against him shamelessly before making out with him and then eventually ending up underneath him in bed. Not one of your proudest moments, but honestly it was worth it. 

You heard the shower running so you took that as your opportunity to leave the room. You waited for about five minutes in the lobby for your ride to arrive. Once you were inside the metal sanctuary, you began your ride of shame back to your apartment.

A couple months passed since that night and you were now starting a new semester in school. Your friend Jeonghan had invited you to meet up at a cafe with him and one of his frat brothers.

You knew most of Jeonghan’s brothers, but knew there was one who you had yet to meet.. His name was Joshua and Jeonghan had actually grown up with him, but you hadn’t had an opportunity to meet him since Jeonghan studied abroad over the summer. You had known Jeonghan the better part of a year, but declined to go to a majority of the frat parties he had invited you to, since you wanted to focus on school. You were now entering your sophomore year and he his junior, so now if he invited you, you would probably take him up on his offer since you had less course load and a better grip on college.

You walked into the cafe, smiling brightly when you noticed Jeonghan, hugging him before sitting down. “Shua is grabbing our coffee and food, iced chai latte with pumpkin sweet foam and a chocolate croissant right?” you nodded, grateful that your friend remembered your usual order. Jeonghan caught you up on the part of his life that you unfortunately missed, telling you about his time in Korea and how he got to reunite with some old friends during his free time and see his family. You caught him up on your much more boring life and looked up once you saw your drink placed in front of you. You wish you hadn’t though because you met eyes with someone you had no intentions of seeing again. “Y/N, this is Joshua, one of my brothers and my best friend.” 

“It’s nice to meet you,” you breathed out, taking a sip of your drink to try and cover up the paleness of your face. “You as well, Jeonghan has told me a lot about you.” He smiled sweetly, much different from the smile he gave you the night you were involved. That smile was confident and lust driven, this one was sweet and gentlemanly, it made you sick of the duality this man was presenting. 

“Oh really?” you laughed awkwardly, putting on a similar smile, “Yeah, he told you’re pretty chill and study a lot.” You took another sip of your drink and looked away from him, “Yeah, that's me…” Jeonghan looked between you two with a confused expression, you were never this awkward around new people, something was up between you two. “Have you two met before?” He asked, which caused you and Joshua’s eyes to go wide, “No, i'm just a little tired today, sorry.” You defended hoping that would deter Jeonghan away from your odd behavior. The male just hummed around his cup before giving both of you another skeptical look. 

You wished you could crawl into a hole and die in that moment. You never expected to see this man again, let alone for him to be best friends with one of your closest friends. You had heard about Joshua too, but not much, all you knew about him was that he was handsome, an English major, with a soft spot for music since it was his minor, and that he was Jeonghan’s best friend. Otherwise you had no clue who this man was. On top of that the man sitting in front of you was definitely not the man you had hooked up with. The sweet tone and personality he was exhibiting was such a 180 from the man in that club and hotel. Not once was there a cocky or teasing remark that left those slightly upturned lips, and his eyes were bright and genuine, not hooded or lust filled. The entire time you were there, you tried your best to not be awkward, you didn't fail to notice how Joshua’s eyes would slip to you while Jeonghan was talking or how he would keep his full attention on you as you spoke. You wanted to leave so bad, tired of looking up from your half eaten croissant or your drink just to see the man's eyes on you. You were enjoying Jeonghan's company at least though and you missed him terribly while he was abroad, so you just tried to focus on him, at least as well as you could.

After a couple hours you parted ways with the two males, sighing in relief once the entire interaction was over. You knew now that since you officially “met” Joshua you would be seeing a lot more of him; unfortunately. Jeonghan was probably under the impression that you two hit it off since you were able to fall into a more comfortable conversation with both of them, after the initial awkwardness. Plus unfortunately Jeonghan had a problem with trying to get you to date his brothers.

 First it was Seungcheol, the president of the frat. He liked you but couldn’t see himself with you in a long term relationship, and you had felt the same, also agreeing to be friends. Next, it was Chan, the youngest member of their frat who was the same age as you. He was cute and very eager to please, but he was also very immature, but thankfully understood why you didn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with him. Lastly, it was Jihoon, a quiet music major, he was nice, but much too involved in his producing to have an actual relationship that wasn’t just physical. You both also realized you were better as friends than as lovers, although you agreed on being friends with benefits, for a short while before you both decided to just stay regular friends. You and Jihoon had formed the deepest connection however, and were still close now. The closeness would seem a bit concerning to anyone on the outside, but it was normal for you two.

All three men were quite handsome and also very sweet to you in the time that you were seeing them, but they just weren’t for you, causing Jeonghan to give up. You were hoping since Joshua was his best friend he would refrain from trying to set you up with him, but Jeonghan was also quite close to Seungcheol, and that hadn’t stopped him. 

You stepped into your apartment, blowing out a puff of air as your cat Clementine rubbed against your legs. You knelt down petting behind the feline’s ears, smiling softly as the cat began purring. If there was anyone who could make you feel better, it was definitely your cat. “Clem, if only you knew what your parent has been through today.” You sighed out, chuckling a little when she flopped onto her back for a belly rub.

After feeding Clementine you got changed into comfy clothes and climbed into your bed. You noticed you had one missed call from Jeonghan, which was weird because he had just seen you. You decided it was probably an accident, turning on your tv for background noise as you scrolled through your phone. You noticed a new follower request on instagram and decided to check it, but scoffed once you realized it was Joshua. You wanted to deny it, but knew he would probably say something to Jeonghan so you begrudgingly accepted it, following him back. You were expecting to just go back on your feed, but once again to your surprise, you received a DM from the dirty blonde.

Shu495: Hey, do you think we can keep the whole hook up thing on the DL?  I already know Jeonghan has a thing for trying to set you up with literally the entire frat, and I’d rather not become his next victim. 

Cl3mzm0m: Yeah, trust me I was hoping you wouldn’t blab about it, but I'm glad we're on the same page.

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A few days passed since you messaged Joshua, you were happy that he had left your conversation where it was with your response. You were currently on your way to your first class of the day, a chai in hand as you yawned. Your first class was English 302, which you hated because it wasn’t even a part of your major, but you had to take it because it was a part of your core curriculum, to graduate. 

You were a business major, and it wasn’t because you didn’t know what you wanted to do, it was because your parents wouldn’t allow you to major in art, so you made that your minor. You hated business, but it was the easiest major, and you still got to take a lot of art courses because of your minor. Plus after next summer once you took a few more classes you decided that you were going to change your major to art, and switch to a business minor. It would be a little challenging to graduate on time, but you didn’t want to spend the rest of your college career miserably, just because your parents wanted to have one last sliver of influence on you before you left the nest. You stepped into the small classroom, taking a seat in the back, not so you could doodle or anything, definitely not that. 

Your professor walked in shortly after, and that wasn’t what made you turn your head. What really made you turn your head was the male who followed behind her. You internally groaned once you saw the familiar mop of hair, praying that he wouldn't notice you. You cursed yourself internally for not bringing a hoodie to class, why did you have to be different and choose a cardigan to keep you comfortable today? You tried to avoid looking at him, but knew you failed when you made eye contact, a familiar smile graced his lips, as he waved in your direction, which made you roll your eyes at him before pretending to scroll through your phone. “Good morning class, welcome to English 302, I’ll be your instructor this semester, Dr. Goodman, and this gentleman next to me is my T.A.. “Hello, my name is Joshua Hong, it’s nice to meet you all.” Joshua said, that same sweet smile from a few days ago overtaking his features. “Today, we’ll just be going over the syllabus and doing introductions. First off on the syllabus, I can be contacted at anytime, but I tend to only respond during office hours, so if you want a much more immediate answer, I advise that you email Joshua.”  You were mentally groaning again at this information as well, because you knew that you would have a lot of questions regarding research. You were willing to take your chances on the office hours to avoid as many interactions with the male as you could.

Once your professor finished going over the syllabus the class began introductions, you lied about your major, saying it was art, since you were planning on changing it anyways. You didn’t fail to notice the surprise in Joshua’s face at the mention of your major, Jeonghan must have told him you were a business major, but failed to mention your minor, so his reaction made sense. After everyone introduced themselves your professor briefed the class on what the first research essay prompt was. A researched argument for change, that shouldn’t be as terrible as you thought. You already had a topic in mind that you were very passionate about, so you were confident that you would do well on this paper. 

Once you were dismissed, you quickly packed your items up before exiting the room, you weren’t a teacher's pet, so you didn’t care about personally introducing yourself to the professor or trying to make a good impression. Plus you wanted to start working on a piece for your portfolio that you were going to present to a local gallery. Your dream was to make art and tell powerful stories through that art. You were lucky enough to excel in most mediums, including pottery, recently you had been dabbling in 3D art, by taking small pieces you carved out of clay and gluing them to your canvas, after glazing and firing them; using paint to create the shadows and make a new scenery with them. You were very into scenic art these days, painting meadows, city streets, and even some of the nicer areas of your campus. You wanted to start working on profiles, but didn’t know how you could incorporate your current favorite medium into it. You thought about creating a clay bust of a side profile, but didn’t know if your sculpting skills had quite reached that level yet. That was a worry for another time though, for now you decided you wanted to work on two things, the time for your portfolio, and Jeonghan’s birthday gift. 

You didn’t know what you wanted to give the male for a long time, his birthday was about a month away, but you didn’t like to procrastinate. You knew booze and other things would be appreciated by him and would definitely be an gift, but you wanted to give him something to show how grateful you were to have him as your friend. You tried to think of all the things he loved and you narrowed it down to his frat and his pet rock. Then it hit you: a painting of his frat, but not just any painting, his lock screen. Jeonghan’s lock screen was a picture of his entire frats hands doing their ritual ring touch. All 13 members had matching fraternity rings that sat on their pinkies; you've never seen Jeonghan or any of his brothers go without theirs, just proving how strong their bond was.

 You had asked Seungcheol if he owned the photo, trusting him to keep your secret, he gave you his words and also a copy of the photo, which you printed immediately. You took advantage of the summer to begin your work, you had a job in the art department so you luckily had special access to areas and equipment some students didn’t. Jeonghan’s other frat brother Minghao often accompanied you to help you get the hands just right, he was a contemporary dance major, and your second closest friend in the frat. 

You would do all the carving while Minghao would tell you any ridges or details you may have missed. Originally you wanted to make the piece in color, but Minghao had suggested you make the piece black and white, while you left the rings their original silver color. His idea really made the piece stand out more. The white clay hands looked almost like they were broken off of statues which you loved. Minghao praised you for making the hands look so perfect, putting his hand over the one that matched his in awe at likeness in size and detail. This project had been your passion for the last half of summer, and now all you had to do was outline the hands on the canvas and begin painting the shadows. You were still trying to decide if you wanted to put the frat logo in the center or not, but that was something you would probably ask Minghao when you saw him in a bit.

You walked into the large studio, placing your bag down next to the easel you were going to work on. You grabbed the large canvas from the corner of the room that had your photo copy of the hands on it. Before you started painting you went to the table where your clay pieces sat, bringing the canvas with you. You carefully laid each hand in its place, each one fitting together like a puzzle piece. You took the pencil tucked behind your ear and slowly began to trace around each piece, being careful not to bump any of the hands out of place. You sighed in relief once you got to the final hand, tilting your head back as you silently celebrated in your head. You carefully removed each hand, just as carefully as you had put them on and moved your canvas over to your easel. You grabbed your paint and brushes from your supplies that you kept in the studio. You put in your airpods before you sat down and began painting, humming softly as you began working around the outlines. After about 30 minutes of painting you looked up when you heard the door open. You smiled at Minghao as he walked in with a large panera bag and a grin on his face, his wire framed glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. 

“I take it you haven’t had lunch yet?” you shook your head no, pausing your music as you stood up, meeting him at one of the empty tables. “I got your usual, broccoli cheddar soup and a bread bowl, and one chocolate chip cookie, and maybe a cinnamon roll for later.” 

“God, what would I do without you Hao,” you smiled gratefully at the male, pouring your soup into the carb loaded bowl before digging in. “You probably wouldn’t eat for twelve hours, and then get yelled at by Jeonghan. Speaking of him, he asked if you wanted to come over later, the frat is having a movie night, just us, plus you our honorary sibling, officially named by Jeonghan and I.” you cringed at the mention of being an honorary sibling, considering you had slept with at least two of the frat members at this point. “Uhm, how about we call me a close friend, I literally slept with two of your brothers.” Minghao cringed as well, remembering the awkward time that you had been with Jihoon, and the even more awkward time that he had accidentally walked in on you two once. “Yeah, close friend… wait two?!” Oh fuck. “I-I meant one, I dated three so I just got my numbers mixed up,” you laughed awkwardly, but Minghao wasn’t buying it. “You would’ve said three then, and I know for a fact you didn’t sleep with Seungcheol or Chan, so spill.” You sighed looking at your friend seriously before you began. “Ok. I’m going to tell you, but you have to swear on your life, you won't tell anyone in the frat or the person I slept with that I told you.” Minghao nodded, leaning in closely, “Remember the hook upI had on my birthday?” Minghao nodded again, with an expectant gaze, waiting for you to continue. “Well it turns out… It was Joshua.” Minghao let out a large gasp looking at you scandalized by the information. 

“No!”

“Yes,” you whined out covering your face, “I had no idea it was him at the time, because Jeonghan never showed me what he looked like or anything, I only knew borderline information about him. So imagine my surprise over the weekend when Jeonghan finally introduced me to him. On top of that, he’s my T.A. for English, so I have to see him much more than I actually want to.” Minghao was hanging onto your every word, but your last sentence had him raising a brow at you in confusion. “First of of all, fuck you for breaking bro code and not texting me immediately after you met Joshua. Second, Joshua is really sweet though, he basically had all of Kappa like putty in his hands from how charismatic he was during the greek life field day.” You weren’t surprised by this, he acted the same in front of Jeonghan when you were “meeting for the first time” and also in your class. 

“He was anything but sweet when I met him, he was cocky and the morning after he wouldn’t shut up about how he was like making me scream and shit.” Minghao tried his best to hold back his laughter, but couldn’t resist the urge and let out a boisterous sound. “What the fuck is so funny?” You huffed out crossing your arms. “Oh my god. You met Joshua when he was drunk, he’s like a different fucking person. Joshua’s confidence goes up like 110% when he’s intoxicated, otherwise, he's a pretty sweet guy. Probably one of the nicest out of all of us, aside from Mingyu.” You stared at Minghao as if he had three heads, you really hadn’t thought about that. So all those sweet smiles and warm eyes weren’t just for show, they were actually real. “What the fuck, I feel so stupid now, and mean.” You said dejectedly. 

You were so awkward when Jeonghan introduced you and tried to avoid him at all costs, even going as far as rolling your eyes at someone who had done nothing to you in his normal sober state.

“You are in fact both, but It’s ok Y/N, he probably didn't take it personally, he knows he can be a tease when he’s drunk, so he probably doesn’t blame you. You nodded as you played with your lukewarm soup, a small frown decorating your features, if you didn’t feel so bad you probably would’ve slapped Minghao for agreeing with you. “Look, you can figure out how to apologize later, as long as you do it it’s fine.” Minghao said while taking a bite of his sandwich, “Yeah I guess you’re right…” Minghao nodded and let out a quick “I know.” With his mouth still full which had you finally hitting his shoulder.

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You and minghao stayed at the studio till around 6pm, you had left for a bit to attend one of your other classes on campus, before coming back to do a little more work. You and Minghao drove to the frat house, making sure to stop at the grocery store for snacks upon request of the rest of the frat. Once you walked in you were immediately tackled by Mingyu in a big bear hug. He lifted your smaller frame off the ground while squeezing you roughly, “Hi gyu.” You chuckled out as he set you down, grabbing the bags of snacks from your hands. “Hey, how was your first day of classes?” He began walking towards the kitchen and you followed him before replying, “Pretty good, I’m dreading my English class.” MIngyu hummed, grabbing several large bowls as he moved to the microwave to start making popcorn. “Oh the one Shua is assisting in, he told us that he saw your name on the roster.” You nodded, pouring some chips into a bowl, “Yeah, what about you, how was your first day?” 

Mingyu was a culinary major, with a minor in business, so you had gotten closer with him because of some of your overlapping classes. He eventually wanted to open a café and force Jihoon to perform there, but the shorter male was already on track to becoming a very successful producer. He landed many jobs with film students and local businesses producing soundtracks and jingles to help build his résumé and had been contacted by several music companies with popular artists. Jihoon was nothing if not dedicated though, and wanted to finish his degree before accepting a job like that.

Speaking of the man he had just walked into the kitchen; god he looked good. Part of you sometimes wished you hadn’t ended your arrangement, but you and him both knew that it wasn’t good for either of you. Jihoon felt like he was using you sometimes and although you denied it, you felt it too a few times. Nothing was awkward between the two of you though. He was still affectionate with you, as much as friends could be at least. You both provided each other with a comfort that didn’t come from sex, so the occasional back hugs or times you would allow him to lay his head on your lap, playing with his soft black locks, were nothing uncommon between you two.

 The aforementioned male greeted you and Mingyu, before hugging you from behind, placing his head on your shoulder. “Hey, how was your first day?” Jihoon sighed, squeezing your waist before replying, “I slept through it, I only made it to my last class.” You chuckled at his bluntness before reaching behind you to pat the top of his head. “That’s ok, what were you working on last night?” You already knew why he had slept through his classes, but you would never scold him for it, it was his passion and you understood that as an artist as well. “Something for my mixtape,” He hummed out, reaching around to steal a chip, he fed himself one before bringing one to your own lips, which you gladly ate. “How’s that going?” You fed him a piece of candy while plating more of the snacks. “It’s going good, it’s definitely missing something though and I don’t know if i’ll find that something in time.” You turned around to grip his face gently, looking in the sleepy males eyes, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out, you’re the best producer I know. I know you’ll have that missing piece by next week at the latest.”

“I’m the only producer you know, but thanks, I needed that.” Jihoon chuckled, leaning  into your touch. “You guys are disgusting, I know you two aren’t together anymore, but you might as well be after that.” Minghao walked into the kitchen gagging at the two of you, which caused you to roll your eyes. “Hao, you and the rest of the frat would hate it if we were together again.” Minghao cringed at the thought, thinking of the times he accidentally walked in on the two of you. Even the one time you two were so horny that you ended up fucking in your car in the driveway, and he had the misfortune of walking past. “Touché.” He said reluctantly, causing you to  smirk triumphantly at him, “Exactly, also I’m just trying to encourage him, sorry that I’m actually empathetic.” You shot back, Minghao just rolled his eyes at you before stealing a chip. “ Oh please, you’d never act like this with anyone, the only reason you are like this with him is because he used to be balls deep inside you practically every week.” You blushed furiously at Minghao’s comment, not missing the way Mingyu tried to stifle his laugh or Jihoon who was looking at the man with an unamused expression. “Exactly.” Minghao mocked before leaving the kitchen with a bowl of pretzels in his grasp.

Once all the snacks were made and the rest of the frat, minus Jeonghan and Joshua, had settled into the living room you tried to decide on a movie. With the majority of the frat on the couches, you and Jihoon decided to take the floor so that he could stretch out and lay his head on your lap. You had a paper plate and bowl full of food to snack on and to also feed the short male with. Eventually you decided on a horror movie, but decided to wait for the last two members before starting. “Sorry we’re late, the board meeting ran over longer than we thought it would.” Jeonghan and Joshua were on the student board. You didn't know what the English major’s position was, but Jeonghan was a student rep for the foreign exchange program.

“You’re good, we haven't started yet.” Seungcheol dismissed as he waited for his other two brothers to take their seats. 

The movie started and it was pretty silent, a few people were on their phones, but that was expected. You were pretty immersed in the film and so was Jihoon, usually the man would tap your leg asking for food, but he hadn’t done that in the past 20 minutes. You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and decided to check it, turning your brightness all the way down.

Shu495: Are you and Jihoon together again?

Cl3mzm0m: No, this is how we always are. 

You realized this had been your first time Joshua was really seeing your dynamic with the man. To your knowledge, Joshua didn’t move into the house until this year. He was a CA last semester so he had to live on campus, at least according to Jihoon. Even though you and Jihoon did have sex in the frat a couple times, you never crossed paths with the male and more often then not you would have sex in your apartment since you lived alone.

Shu495: Oh

Shu495: You don’t worry about people thinking you two are a couple?

Cl3mzm0m: No, because we don’t really do this in public also it’s none of their business.

Shu495: Oh

Cl3mzm0m: Why are you so worried?

Shu495: I’m not…just not in the loop ig

You put your phone away glancing at the male, who quickly looked away when he noticed your gaze. You couldn’t understand his obsession with looking at you, but you decided to just forget about it, especially since Jihoon tapped your leg. You obliged him by bringing up a piece of popcorn to his lip, him humming out his thanks as a response. 

Once the movie was over about half of the house was passed out. You and Mingyu cleaned up the living room with Jihoon’s supervision as your moral support.

Once everything was clean Mingyu drove you home since Minghao had been one of the members to pass out. You chatted about life and your schedules, agreeing to be study buddies for one of your marketing classes since you were taking the same course just with a different professor. Once you arrived home you waved goodbye to the tall male before getting ready for bed. 

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A week later you were sitting behind the desk at the printing center in the art department. You worked there twice a week and it helped pay for some of your school as well as your other expenses. You were working on some of your homework for your marketing class when a couple of familiar faces stepped up to the counter.

“Hey, what are you guys doing here?” You asked, looking up at Hansol and Jihoon. “Jihoon texted me asking if I was busy because he wanted to see if I wanted to grab lunch, but then I realized your shift ended soon so we decided to come ask you if you wanted to join us.” Hansol explained motioning towards the shorter male who waved at you. “Yeah, I’ll be done in ten minutes, you guys can chill back here.” You opened the door beside you and both boys walked in, taking a seat behind you. You spent the last few minutes of your shift playing imessage games with the two. You didn’t have everyone in the frats numbers yet, but you had the ones of the people you were closest to. You were growing closer with each member though, so you had no doubt that eventually they would make a group chat with you. 

The three of you left the art building and headed towards the center of campus, where the main building with all the restaurants on campus were. You were in the mood for some noodles so you went ahead to the ramen shop, while Hansol and Jihoon got pizza. The three of you met up again sitting at a small table in the corner of the court. 

“How’s Jeonghan’s present coming along?” Hansol asked, grabbing a slice of pizza before taking a bite. “It’s going well, I just have to do a little more shading and add in the frat symbol to the center.” Jihoon leaned over opening his mouth, his silent way of asking you for a bite. “You got a picture?” You nodded carefully, blowing on some noodles before feeding Jihoon, trying to make sure none of the broth spilled onto his shirt. You pulled up the photo, taking a small bite of Jihoon’s pizza when he offered it to you. “Wow, it looks amazing, I still can’t believe you managed to get the hands that perfect.” You smiled at the praise, “They definitely aren’t perfect, my sculpting isn’t anything special, I don’t have nearly as much skill as most people my age who work with clay, but I am proud of how they turned out.” Jihoon rolled his eyes at you, he hated watching you put yourself down, but he wasn’t going to say anything since you were stubborn and would fight back. “Either way, skillful or not, they look good, Han is going to love it.” You nodded appreciatively at Hansol while blowing on your noodles, sighing contently at the comfort food.

“How’s your portfolio coming along?” You looked over at Jihoon thinking to yourself, how exactly were you supposed to tell them, that it was nowhere close to finished. “It’s going ok, I still have three pieces to finish.” Both of the men sat up and stared at you in shock, they knew how long a piece took you traditionally and knew you were way behind schedule. “Y/N, how are you going to make that deadline?” You smiled sheepishly before chuckling nervously at Hansol, waving a dismissive hand at him. “It’s fine, I’m used to pulling late nights at the studio, I’m gonna make it.” 

 “Y/N, it’s not funny, this could make or break your art career, you’re going to be a junior next year, opportunities like this don’t just come to everyone. It’s hard enough for you to get opportunities in the student gallery since you’re only a minor, this may be your last chance to establish yourself as a young artist. If you don’t make this deadline you might as well not switch majors.” Something about that struck you deep to your core, especially since Jihoon said it. He knew how passionate you were about art, but he had never said anything so hurtful. To most it wouldn’t be considered that big of a deal, but as an artist it almost shattered you. 

The mood of the table had shifted and an awkward silence took over the three of you. You were trying to hold back your emotions, as you tried to eat your lunch, but couldn’t help the sob that was bubbling against your lips. Hansol and Jihoon looked at each other, panic rising once they heard the soft sound and saw tears begin well up in your eyes. “Y/N, I-“ You didn’t give Jihoon the chance to speak as you grabbed your bag, “Y-you’re right…sorry, l-I’m gonna go, I have some work I need to get done.” You said, quickly standing up and leaving the table, not bothering to say goodbye to the two. You rushed to the library and quickly found a private room in the back corner where you let your emotions out. Jihoon had his ways to motivate you, but he knew how much you hated your major, so saying that was a bit of a low blow. 

Jihoon was lucky that he didn’t have to change his major like you, but you had now wasted a year of your college career on a major that you couldn’t stand. When you were together and even now while you were apart, you spent several nights crying in his arms about the classes you hated with a passion. Which made it sting more since he was one of the only people you allowed yourself to be vulnerable around, especially concerning that topic.

You knew you needed a distraction to take your mind off the situation, so you decided to work on your first English paper. You hadn’t made much progress yet and the paper was due in a week, so you needed to get started.

As you worked, you were trying to focus, but the puffiness around your eyes made it very challenging. your eyes were sore from crying and you were still sniffling as you typed. For a while you were immersed in your assignment, but we’re soon interrupted by a knock on the study room door. You looked up and saw Joshua with a starbucks cup in hand, with what looked like… your favorite drink? You motioned for him to come in, breathing out as you closed your laptop. 

“Hey… I saw you crying while I was shelving some books, and thought you could use a pick me up.” You sniffled as you looked blankly at the man, how could he be so caring to someone he barely knew? “Thanks, that’s really sweet of you.” You smiled, pulling the chair out next to you, inviting him to sit. He accepted your offer, placing the large cup in front of you. “Do you wanna talk about it?” You sighed, but eventually nodded, “I was at lunch with Jihoon and Hansol, they asked me about my portfolio, which I’m a little behind on because of Jeonghan’s birthday gift. I guess I was acting a bit dismissive about the deadline, and it made Jihoon upset.” You sniffled thinking about his harsh words again, Joshua just touched your shoulder, urging you to continue. You collected yourself, taking a deep breath and continuing, “He started scolding me about not making the deadline… and then said if I don’t I might as well not switch majors,” you felt a tear stream down your cheek as you spoke, “I just, he’s said things to motivate me before, but he’s never said something so mean. I’m used to him being blunt, but he knows how much I hate my current major, so it honestly just hurt more than anything.” 

Joshua nodded, he was slightly annoyed, but didn’t want to show it, you didn’t need negative energy right now. He also knew how blunt Jihoon could be, but that comment definitely took it too far. Joshua also knew how much he cared about you. Sometimes that care could cloud his judgment and cause him to say things that were very harsh, but they came from a place of love. “I’m sorry about that, Jeonghan told me recently about how much you don’t like your major. I hope he apologizes, if he doesn’t, I'll have Mingyu and Soonyoung bother him until he does.” You laughed at the blonde, taking a sip of your tea. “Thanks, and thanks for the tea again, I hope I didn’t interrupt you earlier.” Joshua smiled, pleased with the fact that he was able to get you to cheer up, “It’s no big deal, I was done with my work anyways, I couldn’t just walk by, with you looking so distraught.” You hummed, grateful that the male had come to check on you. 

You were talking to Joshua for another hour, about everything honestly. Talking to him was really easy and he was actually pretty funny too. He tended to stumble over his words a bit but you thought it was a part of his charm. Eventually the two of you started working on school. You continued your essay, while he worked on something for one of his 400 level classes. You had no idea how you were going to get to 400 level classes when you could barely pass some of your 200 level ones, but in your defense those classes had nothing to do with what you wanted to pursue. 

After two hours you finished your essay. You stretched your arms upwards with a pleased smile on your face. You knew it wasn’t amazing, but you were expecting at least a ‘B’ on it, so it was good enough. You closed your laptop sighing in relief before looking over at Joshua. He was focused on whatever he was reading. His brows were furrowed in concentration as he read, eyes quickly scanning the page. You didn’t know how long you were watching him, but it was long enough that your stomach gurgled loud enough to break his concentration, causing you to break out in a furious blush. Joshua looked at you in shock before laughing loudly, which made you want to sink down in your chair. “I guess we have been here for a while, want to go grab something to eat? I know a pretty good pizza place off campus.” You thought over his offer before nodding in agreement. 

The two of you packed up your things in a comfortable silence, leaving the library side by side. You walked to Joshua’s car, thanking him when he held the door open for you, before climbing into the passenger side. The two of you arrived at the pizza parlor and sat down at a booth. You had seen this place but never actually ventured into it, so you were excited to try something new. Joshua ordered a pepperoni for the two of you before turning his attention to you. “So what does Jeonghan’s birthday gift look like? I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t know about it.” Taking out your phone you showed the man the picture of the unfinished work. “Holy shit, is that the picture from the last field day?” Joshua asked in awe, you nodded in response before pulling your phone away and taking a sip of your water. “That’s amazing, Jeonghan told me that you were the one who sculpted the little thing Mingyu uses to hold his recipe cards, but I didn’t realize you could do anything this amazing.” You blushed slightly at his words, shaking your head dismissively. “I’m really nothing special, if I showed you what some of the other students who use clay as their medium, you wouldn’t be impressed anymore.” Joshua frowned at that, but he decided to leave it alone. 

It was obvious someone hadn’t praised you for your skills in the past, so now when someone did you simply stated everyone was better than you were. It was a little heartbreaking to watch you talk about yourself like that, but he tried to ignore it, for your sake.

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Two weeks had passed and you were now sitting in the library with Mingyu working on your marketing course. You were only running off a few hours of sleep and a muffin so your brain was betraying you, making the lines of your textbook run together as you tried to focus. “Y/N, why don’t we order some food and take a break?” Mingyu suggested, noticing your fatigue. You nodded in agreement and took out your phone, so both of you could agree on a restaurant. “I should’ve made us some lunch boxes, I’m sorry.” You waved dismissively at the man, both of you didn’t think you would be in the library this long so you didn’t blame either of you for not bringing food. 

Mingyu continued working until the food arrived, but you decided to take a small power nap since it was going to take about an hour. Mingyu woke you up after retrieving the food from the driver, figuring you needed as much sleep as you could get. “Thank you,” you smiled up at him as he set your food in front of you. “No problem, it’s the least I could do, since you fought me about paying.” The man grumbled slightly, causing you to giggle. “You always pay, I feel bad, plus it’s not my fault I already know your usuals.” Mingyu rolled his eyes playfully before smiling back at you as the two of you began to dig into your food. 

“So how are your other classes going?” Mingyu asked, popping a fry into his mouth. “They’re going how’s. How about you, how's your culinary course?” “They’re going ok too, my culinary class is actually kind of hard this semester.” You gunned in understanding, taking a bite of your burger. “How do you feel about your class with Shua, have you talked to him at all?” You groaned at the thought of that dreaded class, that you were already failing. “I hate that class, I got a ‘D’ on the first paper. I haven’t talked to Joshua much though, I did last week, which I’m sure you heard about, but he usually sits near the teacher. He is very sweet though. Last class he checked on me and asked if Jihoon apologized. He hasn’t, but whatever, he’ll come around I guess.” Mingyu hummed, wiping some ketchup off the side of his mouth. “You should ask Shua to sit next to you, so he can help you.” “maybe…”

Another week had passed and you were now in the seventeen frat house, celebrating Jeonghan’s birthday with him and his brothers. You and the some of the guys had picked up his cake as well as some chicken and drinks to have while you chatted and celebrated. Minghao had helped you hide his gift the week before in his room, so that way you wouldn’t risk damaging it trying to transport it on your own. 

You and Jihoon still haven't talked since that day, and you had to admit , you missed him. You didn’t want to give him the benefit of the doubt though, you wanted him to reflect. Even though it was awkward you still managed to avoid it and tried to focus on Jeonghan.

“So, Y/N when are you moving in?” You choked on your drink, coughing while Minghao patted your back, looking up at Soonyoung who was grinning at you. “Uhm never, I don’t need you smothering Clementine just because you think she looks like a tiger, or trying to dress her up. I didn’t forget about last year.” The event you were referring to is when you asked the frat to watch Clementine while you went home for the weekend. She had taken a liking to the quieter members and she was already accustomed to Jihoon, but despite her not liking Soonyoung he had managed to catch her and put her in a tiger costume. Soonyoung however is now sporting a pretty big scar on his arm, from when she went crazy on him. “You’re just angry that Clementine looked so cute and you weren’t here to see it.” You looked at the man unamused as did a majority of the table, “I’m really not, Clementine hates strangers now because of you.” The whole table snickered watching the way Soonyoung’s face dropped.

“Moving on from his sick delusions, how are you, how are your classes, anyone caught your eye lately ?” Seungkwan asked leaning in like you were going to tell him the secret of the century. “ I’m fine, I started talking to my advisor and he said as long as I pass this semester I might be able to switch my major next semester. Classes are fine too, the only ones kicking my butt already are English and marketing.” Seungkwan hummed, “You didn’t answer my last question.” You blinked trying to remember what it was and rolled your eyes at the man, “I swear your worse than Jeonghan sometimes, no one has caught my eye, we’re only about a month into school, it’s a little early.” Seungkwan scoffed at you, “It’s never too early, besides you’re so much nicer when you have someone around you or inside.” You grabbed a fry from one of the boxes of food and threw it at the male before standing up to try and chase him, but Minghao and Mingyu grabbed you to hold you down. “Let me go, I’m not going to hurt him that bad!” Seungkwan watched you in fear, hiding behind Jihoon who moved away from him. “No killing on Jeonghan’s birthday, kill him tomorrow.” You huffed at Jihoon's words but nodded, glaring at the man, “Sleep with one eye open Boo.” 

After eating and drinking a bit, It was now time to open gifts and everyone had gathered in the living room to watch Jeonghan. The majority of the frat knew about your gift and agreed you should go last, since it would be like a big reveal. Jeonghan got some pretty great gifts, a few of them being gag ones from some of the members, but nonetheless welcomed by the blonde haired male. Once it was time for you to bring your gift down you grabbed an easel that was sitting in the corner of the room while Seokmin and Seungcheol went to grab the large piece of art. You told Jeonghan to close his eyes before throwing a tarp over the piece once it was placed on the easel. 

“Ok, open.” Jeonghan did as instructed before getting up and walking over to the easel and grabbing the tarp. He slowly removed it with a curious expression before his eyes lit up, realizing what he was looking at. “Oh. My. God.” He spoke softly, fingers running over the hands as he admired the artwork. You stood next to the easel nervously playing with your fingers as you waited for him to speak up again. Jeonghan remained silent, mostly in shock, opening his phone to compare the art to the inspiration. “Do you like it?” You asked nervously, you were sure he did but you really couldn’t tell either, what if he didn’t like it because it was in black and white or maybe he hated the silver paint, frat insignia you decided to add in the circle? Your anxieties began eating at you as more silence enveloped the room. 

“Han!” Joshua’s voice cut through the silence which had you glancing at him, thankful he finally snapped his friend out of his trance. “They asked you a question, can’t you see you’re stressing them out?” You blushed at Joshua’s observation because while you were worried you hoped no one noticed, but ever the observer, especially when it came to you, he, noticed.

“Y/N, did you make this, like all of it?” You nodded shyly smiling up at your friend who still had a shocked look on his face. “I can’t take all the credit though, Minghao helped me a lot to get all the details in the hands right, and making sure I didn’t starve myself.” You laughed looking over at the male who rolled his eyes and waved dismissively at you. “Literally all I did was tell you what creases you were missing in some of our hands, otherwise that was all you.” Jeonghan continued to stare in shock at the art before engulfing you in a tight hug. “I love it so much, thank you,” He said smiling before pulling away. 

“How long did this take you?” Jeonghan asked, lining his hand up with the one that matched his, smiling at how uncanny it was. “About two and a half months, I finished it a couple weeks ago.” He nodded moving aside so that the other members who hadn’t seen it yet could get a closer look, all of them in awe as they matched up with their respective hands. “Wait, this didn’t get in the way of your gallery pieces right?” Jeonghan asked, his voice laced with concern, you suddenly shrunk in on yourself, smiling awkwardly at your friend. Jeonghan sighed before flicking you in the forehead, causing you to whine and rub your fingers against the now throbbing spot. “It’s fine, I only have two more pieces, and the gallery doesn’t need my pieces till December, I just have to pull a little overtime in the studio.” Jeonghan sighed at you knowing that these next two and a half months were going to be hell for you. “I’m really grateful for this, but I wish you hadn’t put an opportunity for yourself in possible jeopardy.” You pouted as you looked away from your friend, knowing he was right, but you knew you could get it done, it would just require some late nights in the studio, and you would have time for your other school work while you waited for your pieces to dry or set. 

“ I got it Han, don’t worry.” You reassured him, he dropped the subject reluctantly and all of you decided it was time for cake. You stayed for a while longer, deciding that you would spend the night at the frat, not because you were drunk, but it was getting late and Jeonghan didn’t want you driving even though you hadn’t had much.

You and the guys started playing a game of, cards against humanity and about three rounds in you excused yourself to go to the bathroom. Once you were finished you opened the door only to find Joshua standing on the wall opposite to you. 

“Oh… hey,” you said a little awkwardly, caught off guard slightly by his sudden appearance. “Hey, I need to talk to you about something.” You were confused why he might be asking you something, but went ahead and signaled him to go ahead. “I noticed you were struggling a lot in the research course, your last essay wasn't very strong and if you don’t manage to get a B or higher on the next paper, you’re in danger of failing. So I was wondering if you wanted some help. Your proposals are always really strong but I notice the sources you use don’t really back up the claims you’re trying to make.” You nodded at his words agreeing completely with him. You always hated research so you usually just picked the first source you could find without really reading it or understanding what it was trying to say. 

“Won’t I get in trouble for cheating though?” You asked worriedly, “It’s not technically cheating, I’m not actually writing the paper for you, just helping you edit and with your research. Also there’s nothing in the T.A. rules that prevent me from helping out with projects like this, I obviously just can’t do the entire thing for you.” You thought over his proposal before nodding, agreeing that this would be beneficial for you and also provide the perfect opportunity for you to apologize. “Ok, great, I work in the library every Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 2:00pm to 5:00pm, I can help you out after then.” He said, smiling sweetly at you. “Thank you, this is really kind of you, also if you don’t mind, is there a chance you can come to the art studio on Wednesdays and Fridays. Minghao can always lead you to them, but it would be easier to work in between me working on my final pieces, since they're the largest in my collection.” Joshua hummed and agreed to which you smiled in response. “Uhm great, now that that's settled, I need to get past you.” You looked at the male confused before realizing you were standing in front of the bathroom, quickly moving out of the way for him. “Sorry…” you smiled awkwardly before making your way back to the rest of the groups. 

“Were you two making out or something?” Seungkwan asked, making a disgusted face at you. “No! Joshua was just asking if I needed some help in my class, and I do because let’s face it, I’m only ok at art.” Minghao seconded you, and you punched him in the arm, causing everyone to laugh as he winced away from you. “Can we please get them a ring, I think they should be the first honorary sibling of the frat.” Soonyoung piped in from across the table, causing a murmur of agreements to bubble from the other members. Seungcheol just rolled his eyes at his other members shooting down the idea as he saw the way your face cringed. “ They’ll warm up eventually.” Seokmin chimed, hitting you roughly on the back, causing your eyes to bulge at his strength. “Dude be gentle, you’re gonna break their back.” Joshua cautioned the younger male as he took his spot again next to Minghao and Jeonghan. “Sorry Y/N.” Seokmin apologized smiling shyly. You assured him it was ok as you all continued the game, laughing at all the crude answers and sex jokes that the guys would shamelessly crack.

 Eventually you all began to feel the fatigue caused by the drinks and antics that ensued throughout the night, deciding around 2AM it was time for you all to retire to your respective rooms. You said goodnight to all the guys before heading upstairs with Jeonghan, borrowing one of his shirts and a pair of shorts before climbing onto the air mattress they had set up for you earlier. “I want to thank you for my gift again, it means a lot to me, I’m gonna hang it above the mantel so everyone can see it. I’ll make sure to store it for parties though.” 

“I’m just glad you liked it, I know how much all of them mean to you, you guys are a family after all.” You hummed, smiling up at the ceiling as you thought about the frat and how close they were. “Yeah, you better be anticipating a ring by the way, Soonyoung is probably going to annoy the shit out of Cheol until he orders one.” You giggled loudly, imaging the scene in your head before yawning. “I’ll try to act surprised when I receive it.” 

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A few weeks had passed, it was about 5:15 and you were walking through the library doors. You decided that morning you should stop by a local bakery to get some cookies and other baked goods for you and Joshua to snack on while you worked on your paper. Your sessions with Joshua the past few weeks have gone well, he mainly helped you with some of the smaller take home work that you were assigned the week before and gave you tips on writing. The two of you, aside from working on schoolwork, were getting to know each other well each day you met up. You thought Joshua was sweet, he was always asking if you ate or got enough sleep the night before, and if your answer didn’t satisfy him, he would scold you, but in a way that only made you smile. You enjoyed spending time with him, he made you laugh, and sometimes he gave you butterflies in the same way Jihoon used to. You would try to ignore them though, since you figured it was too early to be falling for a man you just met. 

You spotted him at the front desk, a book in his hands looking down at the text with a concentrated gaze. You decided you wanted to surprise him so you quietly approached the desk and placed the box of food down in front of him. He tore his eyes away from his current page, before meeting your own eyes and smiling. “Oh hey, sorry I didn’t notice you came in, I hope you weren’t waiting long.” You shook your head in response before rounding the corner of the desk to see what he was reading. He was able to read your body language very well, guess you really were spending a lot of time together, you didn’t even have to ask before he was answering, “Oh, it’s for a class, nothing interesting.” You hummed in response before grabbing the food as he placed a bookmark into his book, getting up and leading you to one of the study rooms. 

“Your essay is really strong, but your sources are basically useless unfortunately. None of them actually back up your claims, and your lack of quotes also isn’t helping. Although there’s nothing to quote since ya know.” you groaned as Joshua looked through your annotated bibliography and  your rough draft. You had spent the better part of the week looking up sources and drafting up your essay, but now you felt like you were back at square one. You were grateful for Joshua’s help though, he made English a lot more bearable and always encouraged you to keep going when you felt like giving up.

  Joshua opened his own laptop as he took a bite of one of the macarons that you had bought. “I’m going to compile together a list of sources that you can use, but it’s up to you to find and cite quotes that backup your claims. Come closer, I’m going to show you how to find reliable sources.” You did as he instructed, scooting your chair next to his, peering over at his computer. “You know, you should know how to do this already, you have to take 101 before taking any English class, let alone a 300 level one.” 

“And if I told you that my teacher let me pass because I blackmailed him…what would you say?” Joshua looked at you in shock, pausing his typing, “What do you mean blackmailed?“ You popped a small cookie in your mouth as you grinned at him. “Everyone has dirt, his was just very easy to access.” You shrugged as he urged you to continue, “Basically he was not only cheating on his wife with another faculty member, but he also had an old twitter account he failed to delete where he regularly participated in making misogynistic comments. Like any good detective I took a screenshot of every tweet and told him if he didn’t give me an ‘A’ on my final, that I would expose him to the school board.” Joshua gaped at you which had you chuckling a bit, putting your hand under his chin to close his mouth, “Remind me to never piss you off.” 

“Don’t worry, you already did, but you’ve proven to not only be useful but pretty chill, so I’ll spare you I guess.”  You joked while the male turned his head to the side in confusion. “How did I piss you off?” “When you were drunk, I couldn’t stand how cocky and shameless you were, but Minghao told me that you basically have a drunk alter ego. Which made me feel really bad for how I treated you when I met you again and when I saw you were my T.A.. I thought you were fake and that you were only acting nice to me because Jeonghan was there, but now obviously I realize that’s the real you, and wanted to apologize for judging you before I got to know you.” Joshua looked at you dumbfounded as you poured out everything, he was a little hurt, but he knew he shouldn’t take it too much to heart, since you had a very interesting first impression of him. 

“Thank you for apologizing, I understand why you felt that way. I’m sorry your first impression of me was so bad, unfortunately my confidence is a little too high when I’m drunk.” You giggled agreeing with him, “Yeah, your cocky remarks were unbearable the next morning, especially the one about not getting me to shut up.” Joshua cringed at the blurry memory before looking away shyly, “Yeah, I promise that isn’t me,” he chuckled. 

The two of you worked in a comfortable silence. Using the list Joshua had made you were able to find quotes and other material to back up your claims. After proofreading your essay again, Joshua smiled at you, congratulating you on a well written paper. The two of you decided to grab dinner again this time on campus.  You saw Jihoon and Soonyoung in the food court and immediately went to the opposite end, still not happy with how the man hadn’t spoken to you in over a month after what he did. Joshua noticed, but didn’t question it, he had stayed true to his word and gotten Soonyoung and Mingyu to annoy, since the producer had a lack of urgency when it came to you and your feelings, but if Jihoon was anything, it was stubborn. Joshua didn’t miss the way the man looked over at you and his direction, or the bitter expression he wore watching you laugh at something Joshua said.

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“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Mr. Hong, anything you want to share?” It was thursday and you were sitting in your studio with Jun and Minghao. Jun had been talking the entire time as you tried to work, which you didn’t mind, you’ve been meaning to hang out with him more honestly. You felt your heart speed up at the mention of you T.A., but tried to keep your cool as you spoke, “If by spending time you tutoring me, then yes, he’s also been my company though otherwise since a certain stubborn ass producer won’t apologize.” You grumbled thinking about the short man who still had yet to put aside his pride. “Yeah I heard about his little blow up, Joshua came home that day and talked to him, even had Mingyu and Soonyoung mess with him.” Minghao slapped his hand to his forehead looking at Jun in disbelief, “You weren’t supposed to tell them that.” Jun’s eyes went wide when he realized his mistake, “Don’t tell him I told you that please!” You looked at the two with a confused expression, “What do you mean he talked to Jihoon, I’m not surprised about the MIngyu and Soonyoung thing, but what did he say to Jihoon?” Minghao and Jun looked between each other before the redhead sighed. “After your little quarrel with Jihoon, Joshua came home and immediately went to Jihoon’s room to talk to him about what he said to you. Basically he told him that he needs to apologize, and Jihoon told him he would, but obviously he hasn’t since you’re still grumbling about him.” You nodded, slanting your eyes slightly at the two, “Wait, why didn’t he want me to know?” Minghao and Jun looked at each other again before Jun spoke, “He didn’t want you to get upset at him for interfering, that's all.” You thought over his answer for a moment before humming in response. MInghao and Jun shared a silent moment of relief as you began working on your project again, thankful that they were able to keep their brother's secret safe. 

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It was now friday night and you were sitting in the passenger seat of Mingyu’s car. The frat was hosting a party and had invited you for the pregame as well as the actual festivities. You weren’t wearing anything super over the top, but you were dressed a little nicer than your usual t-shirt and jeans. You were wearing a skirt and a crop top, you also decided to curl your hair and do your makeup. If you were lucky you’d be taking someone back to your apartment, but you were also just going to have a good time. Once you arrived and joined the rest of the frat, you were met with whistles from Minghao and Jeonghan. You blushed slightly but blew it off, thanking Wonwoo when he handed you your first drink. “Jeez, if you dressed like this all the time, you actually might have a boyfriend.” Minghao teased, “Right and if you actually started buffing up those arms, you might have a girlfriend!” You smiled fakely at the man who rolled his eyes. You both laughed it off though and continued drinking. During your pregame, you could feel someone’s gaze on you, you knew it was Jihoon, because the man was terrible at being subtle and every time you looked in his direction he would look away quickly.

Having enough of Jihoon’s stubbornness you motioned for him to follow you. Figuring the easiest place to talk and actually get privacy you led him upstairs into his room, closing the door behind you. “Jihoon, I know you’re stubborn but enough is enough. I know part of this is my fault too, for not talking to you sooner, but I was really hoping you would push your pride away for once and just apologize.” He looked away from you, leaning his hands back on his desk, “Well you seem fine to me, Joshua seems to be treating you pretty well.” You gaped at him, Jihoon has had a hard time apologizing before, but this was ridiculous. “Are you serious right now, you’re jealous of the fact that I’ve been hanging out with Joshua? Jihoon, he's been helping me out with my school work!” He scoffed at you before crossing the room to challenge you, “Yeah well what about the first time you two were in the library after what happened.” You pinched the bridge of your nose, “He saw me crying, because of you by the way, so he came to make me feel better. I seriously thought we would be able to have a civil conversation and maybe you would apologize, but this is seriously so childish.”

 You walked passed him to the door, but before you could grab it Jihoon stopped you. “What?” You realized it came out harsher than you expected, but you didn’t care at this point, this was over a month of pent up emotions that had reached its boiling point. “Look, I'm sorry I shouldn’t have said that, I just know how passionate you are about art and it seemed like you weren’t taking this opportunity seriously. I care about you and even though we aren’t together anymore, I still love you, I always will, and I just want to see you happy and successful. Also I guess I was a little jealous of Joshua… because he was there for you and I wasn’t.” Your expression softened at his confession, “I accept your apology, and I'm sorry that I walked out instead of letting you talk…I was just really hurt.” Jihoon nodded in understanding and pulled you in for a hug, you returned it, breathing out contently. You definitely missed him and his hugs, “I missed you.” Jihoon pulled back and smiled at you, “me too, no more fighting ok?” You nodded and both of you went back downstairs, returning back to the rest of the frat. 

“We’re you guys fucking up there, please don’t tell me you two nastys are back together.” Seungkwan said making a disgusted face. “Seungkwan, am I not allowed to have a private conversation with anyone in this frat without it having to lead to something else?” You deadpanned looking at him, “Well we know you and Jihoon have history, and Josh-. Ow!” Everyone looked at the male confused at the sudden outburst, “You good Kwan?” Seokmin asked, “Yup, just a cramp, I should probably drink some water.” You all nodded and continued your conversations, but wanted to know what Seungkwan was about to say. You decided to leave it alone though. 

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Two hours into the party, you were past the point of being drunk. Currently you and Seungkwan were singing an interesting rendition of Beyoncé’s Crazy in Love while dancing along. The two of you were in key but teetering on the edge of being off. You usually didn’t sing in front of others, but there was a reason they called it liquid courage. Half the party was cheering you and the male on, as you sang together, you allowed Seungkwan to have his moments to shine and he did the same in turn. The moment was something you definitely wouldn’t remember, but Soonyoung, ever the opportunist, wasn't far and had his camera trained on the two of you the entire time. You could barely make out who was in the crowd, but you definitely didn’t miss Mingyu who was screaming for the two of you, and a smiling Joshua who was swaying his head to the beat. The two of you were at the rap, Seungkwan allowing you to take center stage as you let the flow take over you. Everyone in the crowd erupted into a loud frenzy of cheers as you rapped, while Seungkwan sang the backing vocals. You winked at Joshua and MIngyu before passing the focus back over to Seungkwan, allowing the man to take the melody of the bridge as you danced beside the man. You took the melody with him for the last section of the bridge. Once it came to the high note you let Seungkwan hit it along with the ad libs as you took the melody. Both of you finished the song, back to back, harmonizing, before you struck your ending poses, you both smiled at each other when you heard everyone cheer for your performance. You took Seungkwan’s hand so the two of you could bow and did so before putting the microphones back.

You and Seungkwan stepped off the stage, still feeling the performance high, you had a large grin on your face as Seungkwan led you to the kitchen for another drink. On your way though you managed to lose the man and bumped face first into someone's chest. “Woah there rockstar, you need some water.” You looked up from the chest you were currently against and smiled, “Joshy! Did you like me and Kwan’s performance?” He chuckled before nodding, leading you over to the sink, “I did, who knew you had a set of pipes like that.” You smiled and took the cup he gave you, frowning at the taste. “That’s not alcohol.” He chuckled at you again, “It’s water, you need to take a little break before you have more to drink.” You pouted, but nodded and finished your water, allowing Joshua to fill it up again before drinking a second cup.

Once you drank at least 3 cups of water, Joshua handed you a mixed drink that was more juice than it was alcohol, but you didn’t need to know that. He led you outside with an extra cup full of water, trying hard not to spill it as you clung onto his arm. It was much cooler outside, by the fire pit, Jihoon was playing his guitar, a much different contrast to what was going on inside. You swayed slightly to the melody the short male was playing, smiling contently as you watched the fire crackle in front of you. You leaned forward slightly to get warmer, but you were pulled back by Joshua. “Your hair isn’t up, you shouldn’t get too close.” You nodded, shivering a little at the loss of warmth. Joshua took notice and quickly draped his jacket around your shoulders. You smiled up at him gratefully, taking a sip of your drink after. 

Hansol who was next to Jihoon with a blunt between his fingers, took a puff before, passing it to Minghao who took a quick puff before handing it to Joshua. Who took a longer drag then handed it to Wonwoo. You tried to reach over for it before the taller male could grab it, but failed, pouting a bit. “You don’t need to be crossed, you’ve already had too much.” Jihoon commented, he walked over to you and grabbed your drink before taking a sip, causing you to whine. “It’s literally juice, you’re not going to get much more out of this.” Jihoon chuckled before walking back over to his seat, your drink still in hand. You leaned on Joshua’s shoulder, he stiffened, but you were too drunk to notice. He didn’t fail to notice the smirks that decorated his brother's faces, but he quickly shook his head. It was no secret in the house that Joshua had a crush on you. He didn't want to act on it initially because of Jihoon, thinking you were off limits since the two of you were so close, but he assured Joshua that there was nothing between you now that wasn’t platonic. He also assured Joshua that he was free to pursue you, knowing if he hadn’t the male would spend the rest of his days endlessly pining after you. Joshua was still trying to figure out how he was going to ask you out, but he didn’t want to do it while you were drunk obviously.

Joshua was brought out of his thoughts when he felt a tug on his shirt. He looked down to see you, but with a look in your eyes that said you had renewed your energy. “I wanna dance, come on.” Joshua thought it over, but he felt embarrassed when he thought about dancing with you, “How about you go find Mingyu or Soonyoung, I bet they’ll dance with you.” You frowned for a moment but nodded, shakily getting up from your seat. All the guys reached their hands out in an attempt to steady you, but you were able to do it yourself and took off into the house.

“Nice going Joshy,” Jihoon teased, Joshua just sighed, “Look I know, I got nervous, I’m sure They’ll be able to find one of the two.” All of them raised an eyebrow at him, “And if they don't? They’ll be dancing with some random guy that they might end up taking home.” Joshua looked to the side to try and hide the twinge of jealousy he felt. “Well…that’s fine, I’m not their boyfriend so I can’t control them.” All of them groaned looking at their hopeless friend. “Josh, you need to be confident, I know you didn’t want to get plastered, but that might be the solution at this point.” Minghao said seriously. “I’m not getting plastered, I’ll work up the confidence, it’s just hard because I know they don't have feelings for me yet.” All of them looked at their friend sympathetically. They knew Joshua had been crushing on you since he properly met you, and after having a few study sessions as well as dinners with you, he couldn’t help the way he fell for you. 

“I’ll tell you what Shua, I’m going to take Y/N out to lunch or dinner this week, and I'll be your wingman. Y/N doesn’t like listening to Jeonghan, but they’ll listen to me. I'm also better at being subtle when it comes to these things. You also need to give them time though, but I can promise you, if you’re not together by the end of the semester, I’ll shave my head.” Everyone looked at the man in shock, but nodded, knowing that if there was anyone good enough for this job, it was Minghao.

The group were brought out of their seriousness when they heard someone running towards them. “Guys I need your help, Mingyu is very drunk and has Y/N on his shoulders and won’t let them down, and they're also very drunk and won’t come down.” Jun said slightly out of breath. All of the men around the fire looked at Joshua who’s eyes bulged. “Look, I know I have feelings for them but the only one who can probably get them down is Jihoon and Wonwoo.” All of them nodded and got up to speculate and also help with the situation.

When they all walked in they saw you and Mingyu immediately because of the height. They began panicking when mingyu started jumping up and down, giggling furiously with no concern about your head. All of the men made their way over to the two of you, grabbing Mingyu to stop him from jumping. You looked down and waved at all of them, and they waved back to entertain you. “Gyu, can you let them down please, someone is going to get hurt.” Wonwoo asked the slightly taller man. Mingyu quickly shook his head before trying to make a run for it, but he was surrounded on all sides. “Y/N come down please, you’re gonna hit your head.” You looked down in defiance at Jihoon, shaking your head just as Mingyu did. Jihoon rolled his eyes 

before motioning over to Wonwoo. Wonwoo grabbed you by the waist, enlisting the help of Jun and Joshua, and Jihoon once he could reach you. Despite your protests, you were no match for all 4 men, so reluctantly you gave up. Jihoon led you to the kitchen and made you drink some water, you looked up at him with a scowl the whole time, but then got a familiar feeling. You quickly got up and raced to the bathroom, grateful that it wasn’t occupied before releasing the contents of that night. Someone came behind you and suddenly pulled your hair back so that you wouldn’t make a mess while rubbing your back. “Yeah, you’re done for tonight.” Jihoon sighed as he continued rubbing your back. 

After you finished throwing up, Jihoon helped clean your face, but insisted you take a shower since he hadn’t managed to get to you in time, causing some of the contents to end up in your hair. The frat began shutting down the party anyway so it was good timing. You left the bathroom where Jihoon passed you off to Joshua since he wasn’t one of the designated drivers for the night. The English major led you upstairs, handing you some of his clothes and an extra towel before leaving you to go shower. The shower helped you sober up more and made you realize how gross you felt also. 

Once you finished in the shower you went to Jihoon’s room, figuring you would crash there for the night, but to your surprise it was locked. “Shit…” you sighed as you went to your only option: Joshua. You knocked on his door waiting for the man to open it, but what you weren’t expecting was for him to be shirtless. You don’t know why it caught you off guard since you’ve literally seen him like this before, but you forgot how toned the man’s upper body was.

 “Sorry!” You squeaked out turning around quickly. “Oh sorry, I thought you were Mingyu, was Jihoon’s room locked?” You nodded quickly, still turned around causing the man to chuckle. “You can turn around, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” He said in a slightly teasing tone. Breathing out, you finally turned to face the English major, trying your best to keep your eyes up. “You can sleep here, it’s gonna take them about an hour to get everyone home, and I’m sure you’re tired.” You nodded, stepping inside once he moved for you. You looked around his room curiously, you’d only ever been in Minghao, Jihoon, and Jeonghan’s room, so you were trying to take in what was at least visible. His room was very him, if that even made sense. Joshua had a few posters of his favorite bands on his wall. His desk was neat and had pictures of him and the frat as well as his family. In one corner on a stand sat his acoustic guitar, you weren't aware that he played, you figured he just played piano like most musicians. 

“You can take the bed, I’ll take the floor.” Joshua stated as he grabbed his throw blanket and the extra pillow off of his bed. You frowned at that, knowing from experience how uncomfortable the floors were. “We can just share, I don’t mind, as long as you don’t cuddle me.” You joked, climbing into the bed, patting the spot next to you. Joshua stood in the same spot for a moment before shrugging and taking his place next to you. Satisfied, you turned on your side so that your back was facing him, the male mirroring your actions as he stared at his desk. “I didn’t know you played guitar.” Your soft voice cut through the silence of the still room. “ Yeah, I’ve been playing for a while, I sing too.” You turned around, intrigued to know more about the man. “What else don’t I know about you Joshua Hong?” Joshua hummed in thought as he decided what to say next, most of your conversations up until this point involved him trying to get to know you, you knew things about him, but not as much as he did you. “Well, I’m an only child, when I’m not grading papers I enjoy reading and playing my guitar. I want to be an editor or journalist when I graduate, I still haven’t decided which. I enjoy movies, especially horror, but I’ll always prefer a book to a movie if given the choice.” Joshua turned so that he was laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. “What else?” You asked, inching closer to him, “ I’ve always wanted to travel abroad to the U.K. or something, I wanted to go with Jeonghan to Korea last summer, but didn’t have time. I like to cook, Mingyu and I tend to do the most cooking actually, I can’t wait to cook for someone other than the guys in the frat though.” Joshua turned to look at you, breath slightly catching in his throat at the way the moonlight that slipped in through the blinds illuminated your figure. Joshua reached his hand over to push a strand of hair behind your ear, he couldn’t say what compelled him, he was never this bold, but he couldn’t deny how much he wanted you right now. 

Your breath hitched slightly at his action, something about the way he looked at you ignited something in you, something that caused you to lean forward and capture his lips. The kiss started out slow, with Joshua bringing his hand up to cup your cheek to help him deepen the kiss. Joshua moved so that he was hovering over you, not breaking the kiss as he did. Eventually he pulled away so the two of you could catch your breaths, but it didn’t last long because a few seconds later he dived back in with more vigor. You whimpered into the kiss, bringing one of your hands up to cup his cheek and the other to play with the hair on the back of his neck. Joshua began grinding his hips down onto yours, you could feel his hard on through his sweatpants which made you feel undeniably hotter than you already were. “Fuck me, please.” You whimpered against his lips as you brought your hands down to the waistband of his sweats. “Ok,” Joshua breathed and with that, you knew you had permission to pull down his pants. As you did so, he grabbed the hem of your shirt and lifted it over your head, you helped him remove it and he helped you remove his sweats. He climbed back over you capturing your lips again as he removed your shorts and panties in one go, the shorts were pretty big on you, so you didn’t need to do much to help him get them off. Joshua wasted no time bringing his fingers down to your entrance to tease your folds. You moaned against his lips as he used his thumb to rub your clit, while his other hand found its way to your breast. He lightly squeezed it, tweaking your nipple slightly, causing you to moan loudly. “Shhh, these walls aren’t exactly sound proof,” Joshua chuckled, you nodded, choking back a moan as he pushed his middle finger into you. Joshua slowly pumped the finger in and out of you, while leaning down to place soft kisses against your neck. You whined softly into the stillness of the room, holding back the louder moans that threatened to escape from your lips. Joshua trailed his lips up the column of your neck before kissing the outer shell of your ear, “So gorgeous,” his voice made you shiver slightly and whimper out as he trailed his lips back down to where he was before. Kissing your neck with more fever as he added a second finger next to the one inside of you. 

Joshua’s ministrations on your neck grew rougher as he started leaving marks against your skin. He was now three fingers deep inside you, you were trying your best to hold back your moans, but you and Joshua had given up at this point. “Josh, that's enough, need you inside.” You whined, trying to pull away from his fingers, “I am inside you, what are you talking about?” Joshua tried to feign innocence as he continued fucking you with his fingers, “No, not in that way!” You moaned as his thumb found your clit again. “What do you mean then love?” You groaned before reaching your hand towards his cock, stroking it softly, “This, I want this inside.” Joshua pulled back from your neck shuddering slightly at the look in your eyes, it was equally as soft as it was lustful, and made him lose all the confidence he had suddenly. He knew he couldn’t chicken out now though, not when either of you were this far gone. “Let me get a condom, hold on,” Joshua pulled away from you, but you nodded and waited patiently for him to put it on. Once he did he came back hovering over you, smiling down at you softly. “What?” You asked, laughing a little, slightly confused why he wasn’t continuing. “Nothing, you just look so beautiful.” You blushed a little looking away from him, but he grabbed your chin gently, making you face him, before leaning down to capture your lips again. You moaned into the kiss as you felt him lining himself up with your entrance, gasping out in pleasure once he finally pushed into you. Once Joshua was sheathed completely inside of you, he waited a moment before he began thrusting. His pace was slow but calculated, making sure to reach deep inside you and draw the prettiest sounds from your lips. He swallowed each moan that came from you, his own soft moans mixing with yours as he continued to pleasure you. “S-so good,” You mumbled against his lips as he increased his pace slightly, Joshua hummed against your lips before pulling back to look into your eyes. He brought his hand down and intertwined it with your own as held eye contact with you. His gaze alone said what he was feeling: love, adoration, and longing. You knew this wasn’t just sex to him, and you felt the same. You never realized you had these feelings for the man, but it all felt so right. 

“Joshy, I’m close.” You moaned, his hips began to stutter slightly as he felt his own high approaching. “It's ok love, you can let go.” Joshua groaned out, as he started thrusting into you at a rough pace. It only took a few more thrusts before you were coming undone, a mantra of the man's name falling from your lips. Joshua came undone shortly after from how hard you were clenching him, his head falling into your shoulder as he stilled inside you. The two of you stayed silent, breathing heavily as you both came down from your heights. Joshua eventually rolled off of you, he tied the condom before laying on his back looking up at the ceiling. He looked over at you, wanting to say something and hopefully finally confess to you, but your eyes were already closed and your mouth slightly open. Joshua smiled before turning over to also get some sleep, he decided the two of you could just talk in the morning. 

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It was now 9:00 AM and a feeling of deja vu was hitting you as you looked at the man beside you. You were hoping Joshua would address what happened last night. You felt embarrassed over the fact that you had fallen asleep so quickly after sex, especially since you realized the two of you had a lot to talk about. You watched as Joshua stirred awake, blinking the sleep out of his eyes as he looked at you. You smiled softly whispering out a small, “Good morning,” as he stared at you. He let out a hoarse greeting as he sat up before getting out of bed to retrieve his clothes. You watched him slightly confused and gaped slightly when he left the room, not saying anything else to you. He was probably just going to use the bathroom, is what you told yourself. You decided to get dressed yourself as you waited for the man to return, but when someone knocked on the door, you were surprised to see Jeonghan on the other side. “Hey, where’s Joshua?” You asked the man, tying up your hair in a messy bun. “Uhm…he asked me to come take you home…” You were slightly taken aback by his words, but nodded reluctantly as you followed Jeonghan downstairs. You saw a few of the guys cleaning up the last remnants of the party, and at that moment you felt so small, as if everyone present was watching you. This felt worse than a walk of shame, this felt like a walk of Idiocy. You felt stupid thinking that Joshua liked you the way you liked him. You didn’t want to think Joshua only slept with you and left to get back at you, but you were beginning to overthink everything as you put on your shoes. 

“Hey Han, I’ll take them home, I know you have a pretty mean hangover.” Jeonghan tried to protest against Jihoon, but couldn’t as the producer grabbed your wrist, leading you outside. He could see that you were trying to hide your emotions from the rest of the guys, but you weren’t succeeding very well at least to Jihoon. Jihoon led you to his car, both of you climbing inside, sitting in silence for a moment before he heard your sniffles. Jihoon began driving, as he heard you continue to sniffle next to him. He stopped in an empty parking lot, getting out of the car and letting the seats down in the back before coming over to the passenger side and pulling you out. You allowed him to drag you to the backseat where he had a blanket laid out. He climbed in behind and pulled you into his lap, stroking the back of your head as you began crying into his shoulder. “That's it, let it out…” He soothed, allowing you to let your emotions out. “I feel like such a joke, he called me so many nice things and looked at me so sweetly, just to walk out this morning.” You sobbed out, gripping the front of Jihoon’s shirt. He grimaced at your state, he could tell you were falling for Joshua and falling hard, after seeing the way you looked at him when the two of you weren’t talking. Unfortunately he also knew that Joshua was an idiot when it came to his feelings and could admit to everyone but you that he liked you. He knew you were even more embarrassed because you had to face some of the frat this morning, just not on Joshua’s arm like you were hoping. “He’s just being stupid right now…he’ll come around.” Jihoon said in another attempt to soothe you. You simply shook your head before sniffling as you shook against him. 

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Two weeks had passed since and you were currently in your studio with Minghao. You’d been holding out hope that Joshua would contact you, but he wouldn’t even spare you a glance in English. The only thing distracting you at this point was your art, but everyone close to you could tell that it was taking a toll on your health physically and mentally. You hadn’t been eating properly and Minghao, Jeonghan and Jihoon could count at least 10 times collectively that you had asked them to feed Clementine since you were pulling all-nighters at the studio. They had only given into you 4 times though, the other 6 times 1 of the 3 men would drag you home, making sure you ate and washed up properly before making sure you fell asleep. 

Today was one of those days where you had been in the studio for at least 20 hours, drowsily painting as your headphones blasted music. Minghao and brought you some food that you only ate about half of before deciding your appetite was lost and offering the rest to him. Minghao couldn’t hide his worry for you, he tried his best initially, but watching you push yourself to the edge of exhaustion just to take your mind off of the stupid English major he called his brother was tearing him apart. He knew if Jeonghan or Jihoon saw you today they would probably have Joshua’s head for basically breaking you. Minghao knew with time you would get over it, but he also knew that there was no reason for you to get over it since Joshua had feelings for you too. He knew that he had to confront Joshua, and soon, so he made a plan.

Along with avoiding you, Joshua had also been avoiding Minghao and Jihoon. He felt daggers being stared into his back anytime he walked into the kitchen and either of the males were there. So he chose to keep their conversations limited knowing that the two would try and talk to him about you. Joshua had been successful, until today that was. Now he was sitting in the living room intervention style, with Mingyu guarding the stairs, Jihoon guarding the front door, and Jeonghan the back. 

“I’m sure you know why we’re here, and before you say anything, I’m not going to yell at you and neither is Jihoon or Jeonghan.” Minghao shot a pointed look at the two, specifically Jihoon. “So, we all know what happened a few weeks ago, congratulations, but why didn’t you finish the job and ask them out?” Joshua stared at the red head as he thought carefully, knowing that if he said the wrong thing 1 of the 3 attack dogs would possibly go off. “I think I was just nervous, I was going to, I told myself before I fell asleep we needed to talk in the morning, but then I hid in the kitchen and asked Jeonghan to take them home.” Joshua admitted looking down in shame. “Right, and you know if you had just confessed Y/N wouldn’t be working themselves to exhaustion in their studio everyday.” Joshua looked surprised at that, he didn’t realize how much of a toll this had taken on you. He did notice you looked more tired than usual, but he figured that was because finals were coming up, not because of him. “Shua, I don’t know if you realize, but Y/N likes you a lot, even though they haven’t said much to any of us about it, it’s obvious by the way they look at you,” Jihoon supplied from his post by the door. Joshua felt horrible now, he couldn’t read any of the signs, too caught up in his own self doubt to see your feelings. “God, I’m truly a fucking idiot.” The English major said with his face buried in his hands. “Yes, you truly fucking are. You better get your shit together Hong, because Y/N isn’t going to wait around forever.” Joshua nodded at Minghao’s words sighing loudly.

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It was Friday and you were getting ready for a party the frat was hosting. You didn’t really want to go, but Jeonghan was forcing you to go saying that you needed to get drunk and just forget about your problems. You kind of agreed with him, but you didn’t really want to get drunk just to have fun. You reluctantly gave in though, not seeing the harm in having one night of fun. Jihoon picked you up from your apartment, skipping the pregame since he figured you didn’t really want to see a certain English major. You knew you wouldn’t be able to avoid him all night, but you were going to try your best. 

Jihoon led you to the kitchen where Minghao and Jun were serving drinks. Both of them smiled at you, happy to see you looking normal at least. Jun passed you a drink, which you began sipping on immediately. You stayed in the kitchen with Minghao, Jun and Jihoon, who spent the first hour passing out drinks. Now that everyone was slightly tipsy and working on their third drink, the four of you could begin having some actual fun. Jun brought out some tequila so that you could start doing shots, and catch up to the rest of the party. 

After the shots and another drink you could say that you were tipsy, tipsy enough that you were currently dancing with Jihoon. The man had voiced his protests, but after some very good puppy eyes and pouting, Jihoon reluctantly gave in and was now entertaining you, with his hands on your hips, while your arms rested on his shoulder, as you swayed to the music. For the first time in the last few weeks you actually forgot your worries, now you were grateful that Jeonghan invited you, not being able to remember the last time you felt this relaxed. That feeling soon disappeared though as you felt someone grab your shoulder and turn you around. You were now face to face with a very pissed off Joshua and before you could say anything he was grabbing your arm and leading you up to his room. 

“Joshua, what the fuck!” You shouted angrily, tearing your arm away from his grip. “What the fuck me? What the fuck you? Why were you dancing with him?” You stared in disbelief at the man in front of you, the same man who hasn’t talked to you for two weeks. “It’s a party, I’m allowed to dance with people, we aren’t dating, so why do you care? We had sex twice and obviously both times didn’t mean anything!” Joshua breathed out stepping back, knowing that if he was going to do this, he shouldn’t be angry, “It meant something to me, and I know it meant something to you too, don’t lie.” You looked at him before looking down at the ground, “It did mean something to me, but I don’t understand how it meant something to you, since you walked out so easily the next morning and then proceeded to ignore me for two weeks. I know I did the same to you the first time, but that was different and you know it.” Joshua’s eyes went wide in panic, he was hoping you didn’t think that was the reason he left, but even he had to admit if you did this to him he would probably feel the same. “Y/N, no, I didn’t leave to get back at you or something, that’s not it… I-I was just scared. I was fully ready to confess to you after we had sex, but then you fell asleep. When I woke up and saw you looking at me, I got nervous and chickened out, then I was too scared to contact or talk to you because I was so ashamed of how I handled things.” You stared at the man with a confused expression, you couldn’t believe how many 180’s you had experienced with him at this point. “You’re so confusing, oh my god. After calling me beautiful and saying so many sweet things to me during sex, you got nervous the morning after?” You began laughing while Joshua pouted slightly. “If you don’t stop laughing, I’m just going to ignore you for another week.” That quickly shut you up, you couldn’t imagine another week without the English major. You never realized how attached you had become to him, and didn’t want a repeat of the lonely feeling his absence created. 

“Look, I know I can be confusing and a little bit dumb at times when it comes to voicing my feelings, but I like you a lot. I’ve liked you since I met you in that cafe and I like you now. I love the way you look when you’re concentrating on your work, the way you sound when you laugh, the way you stuff your cheeks when you eat. Everything that I’ve gotten the pleasure to experience with you has made me fall for you more.” He finished looking at you with soft eyes. “Now, Y/N, will you please be my partner?” Joshua asked closing the distance between you two. “Yes!” You crashed your lips onto his, smiling into the kiss. You looped your arms around his neck, while he rested his hands on your waist, kissing you back passionately. The two of you pulled away smiling like idiots, leaning back in to peck each other’s lips softly like if you didn’t continue kissing the other would disappear. “I love you Y/N.” Joshua smiled against your lips. “I love you too Joshua Hong.”

The morning after you walked downstairs hand in hand with Joshua, rolling your eyes at the members who gave the two of you whistles. "Jeez, what did you do to the, they look like they got mauled by a bear." Seungkwan pointed out, gesturing to the red and purple marks on your neck. "I got a little carried away last night." Joshua replied with a shy chuckle. You pulled up the hoodie you had borrowed from Joshua in response, as you tried to ignore Seungkwan's observation. "Whatever, at least they are finally together, now we can stop listening to Joshua whine about how much they like them." Seungcheol said without glancing up from his phone. Joshua let out in embarrassed groan in response before dragging you towards the kitchen. You giggled at his shy behavior, smiling to yourself. You knew for a fact you liked this version of Joshua best, and you definitely knew you'd keep falling for him, like a domino.

---

fine line

figure skater!joshua hong x f!reader

synopsis: as a joshua fangirl, getting the chance to interview him as a teenager was an absolute dream. 10 years later with a flourishing career as a writer and a strained relationship with him, he wants to do a 10 year reunion interview about his path to the upcoming Olympics. there’s only one problem: you’re staying at his house and trying not to address your old feelings for him.

word count: 19.9k

tag list: @junhui-recs @bfwonu @huiranghaes

warnings: figure skater!joshua, writer/fangirl!reader, best friend!jeonghan, dad!seungcheol, smut, fluff, angst, some occasional skating jargon, this is a lot about the Olympics

a/n: y’all. this fic has been reworked over and over and over since spring 2022, it’s the longest fic I’ve ever done. it’s given me so much trouble and seen me through so many changes in my life. doing my final undergrad dance show, writing my undergrad capstone, finishing undergrad, and finding my first apartment. it is my baby and has grown as much as I have since march. thank you to the sports au discord for being so lovely <3 I hope you enjoy it as always and I hope you can feel how much heart I put into this! this is for @gyukult’s sports au collab + this is loosely based on the plot of the book “funny you should ask” by elissa sussman which I can’t recommend enough! title also inspired by the harry styles song ok bye lmao <3

Work isn’t particularly difficult, in your opinion. You’re used to hearing the people around you complain about how much their workload consumes them to a point of no return, but as you made your way into your first adult job as a writer, you tried to stop that from happening.

It’s not exactly easy when you have to navigate the entertainment industry while writing, but the idea of trying to craft new narratives about celebrities that the public is convinced that they know inside and out still excites you.

Even if you’re not exactly fond of whoever you’re writing about, the challenge still intrigues you. Thus, the conversations surrounding ideas for new profiles are always equal parts captivating and nerve-wracking.

“How do you feel about Joshua Hong?” Your manager asks. You look up to see her balancing her weight on the side of your desk, a neutral expression paints her face.

She knows this is a loaded question, all things considered.

“You know how I feel about him,” You blink at her before facing your computer again.

“I do, but I need an updated response considering the anniversary,” She persists. You sigh, swiveling around to face her again before responding.

“He’s great. I like him,” Your voice trails off, you try to nod to convince her, but it’s not working.

Your life has been so intertwined with Joshua Hong’s career as a professional figure skater that it’s hard to delineate life before and after him. He wasn't there, then one day he seemed to consume your life completely.

Before your start as a journalist, you ran a very well-known, albeit secretive, blog about Joshua Hong as a teenager. It was relatively harmless and safe for work, spare the occasional thirst posts sprinkled in. It mostly contained updates about the then emerging skater’s career, offering illegal torrent links for broadcasts of his performances that weren’t available worldwide and communicating with other fans about your love for him. Yet, some random post about him qualifying for the Olympics went insanely viral when you were 17, garnering over 1 million shares in under a week.

It was substantial enough to get his management's attention, and you had the opportunity to interview him not only for your blog but for a major publication for their Winter Olympics coverage series.

With two opportunities to write about him, you were able to fulfill the fan service pleas from your fellow fans for the blog and write a serious piece that made the general public interested in him from the perspective of a fan that knew the general timeline of his career.

The quick success felt like a fluke, but it led you to an undergraduate degree and a dream job as an entertainment writer at one of your favorite companies almost immediately after graduation.

He technically made your career, whether you wanted to admit it or not.

You’ve been trying to forget about the anniversary, but everyone in your life seems determined to bring it up whenever they see you.

“Well, we want you to do a 10-year reunion interview piece with him. That’s only if you want to,” Her voice was sympathetic, but you’re mainly focused on the number. It really had been 10 years, hadn’t it?

You were both incredibly established in your respective careers, him as a 5-time gold medalist with appearances at 3 Olympic Games, and you with a prolific image as a relatable yet incisive celebrity interviewer. It completely makes sense for you two to meet again, considering how much the first interview changed the trajectory of your lives.

It would feed into the nostalgia of Joshua fans that grew up alongside you as readers of your blog and new fans that clamored for any new Joshua content.

Yet, you weren’t exactly convinced.

“I mean, his team could’ve had anyone else write a big profile on him. We’re not the only website in the world with an entertainment section,” You fight the urge to bite your nails and instead choose to wring your hands together.

“He asked us to do it,” She admits.

You try not to look too shocked, but that definitely changes things. You were not close with Joshua whatsoever. Sure, he’d occasionally like your social media posts and wish you a happy birthday every year, but that was the extent of your relationship.

Your teenage self thinks it might be him looking for closure, wondering what might have happened if you stayed in touch.

Yet, you can’t let yourself dive back into the fantasy of him again.

You search for a response, but you can’t land on anything substantial. “What would I have to do?” You ask, you barely notice the unconscious habit of biting the inside of your cheek.

“Well, in addition to the profile, you can attend his practices and any private schedules he invites you to. It’s mostly up to the discretion of him and his team,” She offers and you nod. You’re good with that, you can watch him practice and go to a random professional event he’s booked for.

“He did offer something else, if you’re up for it,” She gives you a pointed look which makes you a bit hesitant.

“What is it?”

“He asked if you were open to staying at his house,” She smiled through her answer, but you’re sure your face was completely pale.

You didn’t know if you were more shocked or nervous at the idea of it. It was ambitious, considering that you haven’t spent more than a few hours in the same room with him at a time, much less stay with him.

You think you might die if you go through with it.

“He’s not serious,” You find yourself laughing in disbelief. You can’t even fathom the idea of being further sucked into Joshua’s life after so long.

“He really is. You don’t have to give me an answer right now, but within the next day or so,” She leaves your desk without giving you a chance to respond, but you revel in the opportunity to think about everything.

It’s a bit too much to wrap your head around, so much so that you don’t remember much else of the work day.

For the first time in a long time, Joshua Hong was all you could think about.

—

The more you think about the interview, the more it gives you anxiety.

All of the possible outcomes float around in your head during the commute home that you can barely enjoy the music blaring in your headphones.

Once you arrive home, you figure that you need a second opinion on the matter, so you decide to call your far more opinionated best friend for his input.

The phone only rings for a few seconds before he picks up.

“What happened?”

“Joshua wants to do this 10-year anniversary interview where I follow him around,” You sigh.

“No fucking way,” He burst into laughter, his giggles echoing loudly through the phone.

“Jeonghan, this isn’t funny,” You whine. He was probably the last person you needed to call, seeing as he almost never had a sympathetic response to your pain.

“It’s hilarious, and this is karma for trying to ignore his existence for the past 5 years,” He replies with a teasing lilt.

You hate that he’s right.

You were very proud of Joshua’s successes, in a “retired fan celebrating from a distance” sort of way. Yet, you tried to distance yourself so much from the blog that he inadvertently got caught in the crossfire. You cared about him so deeply for so long that you lost yourself in that, so you tried to cope with the state of your uneven relationship with him in your own little fucked up way.

You let out a frustrated sigh. “I just didn’t think he’d be the one to do it, you know? I thought I’d get a polite email from his assistant, not my manager telling me he wanted to do a profile.”

“That means it’s personal to him, then. That’s actually kinda charming of him,” You feel your phone vibrate, so you check the notification.

Joshua messaged you on Instagram, and from a quick glance at your lockscreen, it’s long.

Your heart drops to your stomach.

“Wait, he just messaged me,” You quickly put Jeonghan on speaker and opened the app without a second thought. You read his message out loud:

joshuahong: Hi! Not sure if you’ve heard my request yet about the anniversary profile, but I would really love it if we could make it happen. I know it’s been a really long time, but I think it’d be fun to do it again. You’ve always supported me from the beginning of my career, so it would mean a lot to me. I miss talking to you, so we would definitely be catching up in more ways than one. We’ll only do it if you’re up for it though, please don’t ghost me this time lol

“Holy shit,” Jeonghan fills the silence immediately. You were pretty much lost for words, but you managed to speak. “Holy shit is right,” You mumble to yourself.

You suddenly feel guilty for trying to bury him out of your life, especially when he clearly said he misses you.

Were you trying to set your boundaries by pushing him away or were you just being an asshole?

“I feel really stupid,” You hate that you want to cry. You can’t reckon with the fact that Joshua has wanted to reconcile for so long that he had to do this to get your attention.

At least, that’s what the selfish part of you thinks. You know the interview is so much bigger than yourself, but then again, it is a symbol of you and the years of effort you put into your blog.

“You’re not stupid, but you need to worry about what you’re gonna say. Are you gonna say yes?” He asks.

Admittedly, you do feel the pull to say yes.

“I think I might. Is that a bad idea?” Internally, you know the answer, but your insecurities need some validation.

He clears his throat before responding. “I think you’ll regret it if you say no. I think it’ll hurt you more to not have closure with him.”

You don’t think you necessarily want anything out of this besides becoming friendly with him.

You’d like to think that’s what would’ve happened if you didn’t completely ice him out.

“That’s true. It’s gonna be so hard to see him again,” A whine pulls your lips into a pout and you already know Jeonghan will protest.

“Stop talking yourself out of it. Who knows, you might end up enjoying everything,” he suggests openly.

“That’s possible. His house is supposed to be insanely big,” You shake your head at the idea of how a 27-year-old millionaire pro figure skater would be living, definitely far better than your current apartment.

“You can only know for sure if you say yes.”

“I know,” You figure you need a vacation anyways, even if it means facing some unresolved emotional baggage.

“So, you know your answer then. I need to get back to work, but don’t blow him off. Respond to him tonight or I’m not giving you the deluxe massage package gift certificate like I promised,” Jeonghan was not above threatening you into action, and this one had the right level of stakes.

“Fine, okay,” You huff out, already opening the Instagram app again to motivate you into typing a proper response.

You exchange quick goodbyes and you let yourself look, albeit for far too long, at the message again to gain some inspiration.

Before you know it, you’re sending him a formal reply.

you: Hi! You’re right about ghosting, no excuses for that so I’m sorry lol. I’ve thought about it and I’d be happy to do it, it’s been too long since we’ve talked. Let me know the timeline you’re thinking of and I’ll get my schedule figured out

You figure that’s just enough to ease your nerves. It’s not exactly as earnest as his original message, but it’ll work for now.

You even send a screenshot of the message to Jeonghan as proof for the sake of accountability and the state of your deluxe massage package gift certificate. You place your phone on your nightstand to avoid fixating on another response, letting yourself go fix dinner and get ready for bed without thinking.

It’s only when you’re about to settle into bed that you remember your phone. You reach for it and Joshua, who is somehow extremely prompt with his messages, sends you another reply 10 minutes after your message.

joshuahong: Great! We’ll start sorting out more details then. I’m really glad you said yes

He’s already trying to pull at your heartstrings and it’s working. Despite everything, Joshua has always been kind. He doesn’t just seem nice, like what most celebrities are assumed to be around other people, he’s always made sure you know he cares about you even if you hadn’t known what to do about it.

You type out another quick response before going to bed.

you: Of course, it’s gonna be a lot of fun

You hope that’s true, you hope that you’re not already in over your head with the situation. He still seems to have faith in you, so why not trust that instinct?

—

During pre-trip preparations, you found yourself talking to Joshua far more often than before.

The conversations didn’t go too deep of course, you couldn’t get everything out of him before you even had a chance to conduct the interview, but the harmless banter seemed to slowly bridge that treacherous gap left between you two.

You even thought it would make your first meeting less awkward, but that wasn’t even remotely possible. It had only taken a few days for the entirety of the trip to be confirmed by your workplace and his team, and the final itinerary made your head spin.

You would follow Joshua around for a week, primarily to his private daily practices in an effort to show his infamous dedication to Olympics training.

All while you stayed in his guest room.

You couldn’t get out of that obligation, no matter how much you tried to convince him that you would be perfectly fine staying in a luxury hotel room paid for by your employer. He was confident that you could get a better view into his life while staying at his house which you reluctantly agreed with.

His idea definitely didn’t cross any professional boundaries at all, none whatsoever! This is what he’d do as a friend if you were coming to visit anyways, right?

You were still slightly afraid to hear his voice, you weren’t exactly sure why, but you were hoping it would keep the image of him unchanged in your mind until you saw him in person again.

You knew you were heavily biased going into this situation, so why not protect your heart for a little bit longer?

joshuahong: Are you nervous about tomorrow?

you: Not really

joshuahong: Y/N, please don’t lie.

you: I’m not!

joshuahong: I’m kinda nervous to see you, though

you: Really? Why?

joshuahong: I think it’s been 6 years since I’ve seen you in person. That’s scary to think about

you: The passing of time is scary

joshuahong: Definitely. Promise to not be awkward?

you: I’ll try my best!

joshuahong: That’s not a promise!

you: Fine, I promise but you have to promise too!

joshuahong: I promise :) now get some sleep, I don’t want to hear you complain when you have plenty of time to get 8 hours of sleep

you: You’re so mean!! but you too, get lots of rest so you can give me a good show tomorrow

He doesn’t reply to that last message, only using a heart emoji reaction instead.

The weight of the trip suddenly sits on your heart, and the main objective of writing an exceptional interview is somehow the least of your worries now.

—

The flight to Korea is unceremoniously long, you have far too much time and anxiety to let yourself fall asleep. You go through all the Netflix episodes you downloaded for the flight, finish the book that’s been sitting on your shelf for ages, and write down some preliminary notes about what you’d like to cover in the interview.

You decide to keep your ideas vague so that you’re not overexerting your brain during the flight.

First, a general discussion of the Olympics. That’s the main appeal of the article, seeing what his main preparations are like and hopefully getting some better insight about his feelings surrounding everything.

The second is his recovery from his last Olympics injury. He landed the most ambitious jump of his free skate program completely wrong, breaking his ankle in the process. It was during the last event of his Olympics run for that year, and he still placed third in the men’s individual skate program overall, but it’s been a sore subject for him in most interviews he’s done since the incident.

The footage is as agonizing as you can imagine, but the fact that he finished the routine at all is stunning. You figure that you can get some in-depth reaction about that moment and the subsequent recovery, more than the extremely media-trained answer he’s given about it before.

Lastly, the prospect of retirement. He’s said almost nothing about his plans after the upcoming Olympic games, but Olympics experts are convinced that the news is looming over his upcoming appearance.

You knew better than to ask him outright about it because he definitely wouldn’t give you a straight answer. From watching his recent interviews, you realized that Joshua has a tendency to go into a subtle apathetic mood when the interviewer hits something he’s not comfortable with. You hope that you can breach the subject without things going completely south. This interview was supposed to hit some darker aspects of the state of Joshua’s career, but you never wanted to make him uncomfortable.

Other than those topics, anything else he wanted to divulge to you would be a bonus. You wanted him to have a reasonable amount of control over what would go into the interview, so you’re not opposed to adjusting your interview material if needed.

The thought of his reactions to your questions swarms your brain in a frenzy, but you know you’re getting ahead of yourself.

The flight lands without any problems and you’re still trying to figure your thoughts out by the time you’re picking up your suitcase from baggage claim.

You’re soon greeted by Joshua’s driver, a tall man who holds a sign with your name printed on it, nodding in affirmation when you confirm your identity with him. He’s distantly kind to you, but it’s enough to put you at ease for the moment. You’re escorted to a tinted black SUV with a gentle hand opening the back car door for you. Your suitcase is carefully stowed into the back of the truck while you click your seatbelt into place across your lap.

You don’t realize how tired you are until the car starts moving. You didn’t bother to orient yourself with the time once you got off the flight, but you figure it’s somewhere between late morning and early afternoon by the way the clouds create a gray atmosphere in the sky.

Nonetheless, looking out the window is enough to pull you into sleep, and you indulge yourself in a short nap, barely considering where you may be headed.

—

It turns out that Joshua wanted to meet you at his home rink first which explains why you were waking up to the sight of a massive stadium.

You were slightly annoyed that you weren’t at a stable location yet, your body started to feel vaguely sick at the constant movement of the car.

You’re grateful that the car stops for a moment, you’re hoping Joshua takes a bit longer than expected to come out of the rink so that your body can stop feeling off center.

Unfortunately, he’s quite prompt, you notice him walking out only a few minutes later. He’s accompanied by two other staff members, seemingly debriefing him on your arrival as you see one of them point to the car.

You suddenly feel acutely aware of how disheveled you look in your inconspicuous airport outfit, barely awake enough to make proper conversation with him.

He arrives at the other back car door quickly, opening it with a big smile.

“Y/N! Hi, I’m so happy to finally see you again,” He’s excited, settling into the backseat across from you, slightly more perky than you expected.

“Hi,” You wave back politely, pushing your voice up an octave to match his energy that is nearly impossible to replicate in your current mood.

“I’m sure you must be exhausted, it was a long flight wasn’t it?” His brows furrow slightly, and his concern is evident on his face.

“Yeah, I’m still pretty tired,” You offer him a halfhearted smile.

“Well, we can recover once we’re at my place. We’ll have time to catch up on everything,” He reassures you with a nod.

He notices you’re still out of it, so you don’t talk for the rest of the ride to his house.

Through heavy eyelids, you steal a few looks at him and he really is as pretty as you remember. His boyish features filled out his face much better now, although he was always handsome.

You’re not sure how long his practice day was, but it surely didn’t show in his features. He caught you looking at him only once, you tried to be discreet while he was looking at his phone, but he still saw you.

It seemed like he had a sixth sense to know when someone was looking at him which, if anything, made it a bit more embarrassing to get caught.

He let you off easy though, smiling at you before turning his attention back to his phone.

It was a tiny gesture, but it reminds you just how much he seems to notice you.

—

You wouldn’t say you’re best friends or anything, but talking to Joshua for an extended period of time has made you miss being around him in person. His energy has always been the same after so long.

“So you just casually stumbled into an interview with Dwayne the Rock Johnson?” He’s somehow fully astonished at your celebrity interview stories, you notice the sparkle in his eyes and his smile is radiant, but you think that’s just the alcohol creeping up on him.

You both agreed to a drink after coming back to the house, you chose wine while he opted for beer. This has made the mood considerably less awkward and you’re grateful that you both pushed past the mandatory small talk.

“Yeah, the interviewer before me canceled so I got more time with him than I intended. Then the whole viral interview video happened,” You wave your hand before taking another sip of your glass.

“You say that as if it’s normal,” He pushes his hair back, slightly exposing his forehead. That was surprising coming from him, considering that he is far more famous than you would ever be. Yet, you assume that it’s because he’s famous in a more traditional sense, so content creation was never a part of his job to begin with.

“Well, it is if you’re good at it, which I am,” You brag, receiving a hearty laugh from him.

“Look at you, big shot,” He playfully swats your arm. “You really made it, huh?” He’s fond, his glance is soft and yearning for more. It’s far too sentimental for where you wanted this to go tonight, but you play along for a moment.

“I did,” Your cheeks are slightly too warm as you avoid his eye contact with a small smile, but you still have control over yourself. You decide to take advantage of it.

“I want to get some stuff recorded for the interview if that’s okay?” You don’t know why you ask for permission to start interviewing, seeing as it’s the entire reason you’re here in the first place.

“That’s fine,” He straightens up a bit, he doesn’t seem too affected by the alcohol either which will make this a bit easier.

“We’ll keep it pretty light today, considering this is just the first day.”

“I’m good with that,” He chuckles lightly. You know he’s watching you struggle to figure out the best way to interview him. It’s too much effort to find your laptop which is somewhere tucked away in a carry-on bag, so you settle for your phone.

“Ok, so,” you fumble with your phone’s record button on the Voice Memos app for a moment, “tell me your general feelings about the Olympics coming up.”

“I’m excited, I missed being in full competition prep mode. It’s an indescribable feeling, but everything is coming together nicely which is all I can ask for on the 4th time around,” He had a vague joy in his eyes, but you didn’t want to scrutinize the answer just yet, it was only the first question.

“What does full competition prep mode look like for you?”

“My practice days are much longer than usual, so I’m in the rink most days from sunrise to sunset, if I can help it,” He smiles sheepishly. That charm seems like it’s going to seep through every response he gives you, so he can possibly get away with some things.

“What do you like to do to destress after such long practice days?”

His eyes light up at the idea and he readjusts his position on the couch. “I like taking a cold shower and catching up on reality TV, I honestly like anything trashy.”

You didn’t peg Joshua to be a reality TV person, but it’s the exact kind of pop culture talk that his fans will eat up.

“Okay, then which one do you prefer, The Bachelor or Love Island?” You ask curiously.

“Love Island, easily,” He replies immediately. He smirks and you nod in affirmation. You knew he had good taste, you figure you’d have to ask him about some other TV preferences later.

“Good, that was the right answer,” You shoot back. You decide to drink the rest of your wine instead of nursing it any longer.

“Asking the tough questions, clearly,” He’s way too smug about it and it makes you roll your eyes.

“Shut up, I told you we’re keeping it light! Unless you want to be asked about the future of your career while we drink,” Now it’s your turn to touch his arm, your hand intentionally doesn’t linger for too long though.

“I don’t, you’re right,” You know he’s not lying by the way he lets out a deep breath. There’s an unspoken tension at the thought of you bringing everything up.

“Okay, one more dumb non-skating question.”

“They’re not dumb,” He immediately catches your words and you blink at him, silently watching his face. He stares back, but his expression is slightly tender. Again, his face is almost too sweet for you to process. It threw you off this time though, so you have to look at the floor. You don’t even remember the question you meant to ask him, so you opt for a way out.

“Stop it.”

“What?” He genuinely looks confused, as if he’s not unconsciously doing the standard heartthrob boyfriend-esque banter.

“That was too nice,” You pick up your phone to stop the recording, still not facing him. Your body language is slightly more closed off.

“You act like you’ve never been complimented before,” He retorts.

You couldn’t say that it was different because he said it, you couldn’t give a shit if some random A-lister made you feel better about your work, but it was him.

“I’m not used to your compliments,” You indirectly emphasize him.

“Well, we’ll have to change that then,” He smirks.

That stirs something up in your chest, but you can’t quite name it. You decide it’s best to ignore it.

“Great. So are you gonna make me dinner or are we ordering somewhere?”

“I’m definitely not cooking,” He lets out a clipped laugh, shaking his head in disapproval. To be fair, he exerted more physical effort in a day than you’d do in an entire calendar year, so you weren’t exactly offended.

The night spun on with cheap pizza and varying levels of conversations. He even convinced you to watch Love Island, albeit one episode, until he decided he was too tired to continue.

He gives you a short tour of the guest room before retreating to his own room, and you finally get a moment to sit with your thoughts.

Joshua is friendlier than you expected and that was going to cause problems whether you liked it or not.

—

Although it was your first full day in town, the jetlag caught up with you almost immediately. Joshua mentioned last night that he would be at meetings throughout the afternoon, so you were grateful that you didn’t have to tag along.

Once you were thoroughly awake, you decided to investigate the house. As you suspected, it was far too big for him, especially considering he wasn’t home enough to enjoy it anyways.

The style of the house is typical celebrity fare, far too angular and minimalist for your taste. The shades of white, gray, and black that decorated his furniture and appliances were anything but inviting. It was all far too muted in your opinion and it made you miss the character of your apartment.

Besides a few framed photos of what you assume to be his family and friends along with some light decor, it looks like it could be plucked right off of a Zillow listing.

Even if you wanted to write some flowery prose about his house for the article, it leaves much to be desired.

“Are you settled in?” Your manager asks over the phone. She promised not to call you after this initial check in, but you figured she’d find other ways to be nosy about how things are going. She was a fan of Joshua, so her prying for extra details wouldn’t be completely unexpected.

“Yeah, everything’s been good,” You shared, completely nestled onto the couch with a blanket.

“How’s Joshua?” She inquires with a slight lilt.

“He’s doing well. We’ve already got some parts for the interview, but I haven’t seen him skate yet,” You recall the banter of last night with a small smile. You were both being friendly, it was completely harmless.

“Well, you still have a lot of time for that, but I’m glad you’ve made some progress. I’ll let you go, but let me know if you need anything.”

“I will,” You respond. You exchange goodbyes and go back to mindlessly scrolling on Twitter.

“Were you talking shit about me?” Joshua asks. You whip your head around to notice him watching you, completely unsuspecting in his business casual attire. You shriek in fear, clutching the blanket before reaching over to throw a pillow at his face. He narrowly avoids it with a massive grin on his face.

“Jesus, you scared the hell out of me,” You sigh, pressing a hand to your chest to check your racing pulse.

“I’m light on my feet.”

“Yeah, clearly,” You grumbled.

“You look very comfortable,” He teases, pointing to your current seating position with a chuckle. Your body is completely wrapped up minus your head. It probably looks quite funny by the way he bites his tongue with a childish smile.

“I am. How were the meetings?” You deflect the attention onto him instead.

“Productive,” He walks around to join you on the couch, landing next to you with a sigh.

“Anything worth breaking an NDA over?”

He rolls his eyes. “Absolutely not,” He scoffed.

“Worth a try,” You finally free your arms from the blanket, but you’re still wearing a hoodie.

“Why did you need the blanket if you’re wearing a hoodie?” He asks politely, pointing to your chest.

“I get cold easily!” You protest.

This oversized maroon hoodie was your signature writing piece, you absolutely needed to wear it for big projects or else you wrote pure shit.

You’ve had it since you started writing professionally, a random thrift store find that has given you incredible luck over the years. It’s helped you through many long nights of writing and editing throughout your career.

Thus, you put it on in an attempt to stir up some inspiration, but to no avail.

Joshua is charmed by this backstory though, nodding along with his head in the palm of his hand.

“You think it’s dumb,” You’re projecting onto him, without a doubt.

“No, it’s not! It’s actually very cute. You can wear it to the rink later.”

“We’re still doing that?” You grimace. He joked that he was going to take you out onto the ice, but doing it this early into the trip felt like overkill.

“Unfortunately, yes,” He pouts. “I’m forcing you out of the house so that you don’t steal my blankets.”

“Very rude.”

—

The rink is far bigger than you could’ve imagined. You haven’t been in many throughout your life, but since it functions partly as a stadium, it makes you feel even smaller.

He leads you to the check in booth to introduce you to the staff onsite for the day. If he’s coming to practice solo, he remarks that the employees only door is typically unlocked for him, and his suspicions are correct.

“Hey, man, it’s good to see you again,” Joshua embraces a taller man into a hug once he walks through the door. “Cheol, this is Y/N,” He glances between the two of you with a hopeful smile.

“Y/N, this is Seungcheol.”

“Hi,” You wave politely and everything starts to register for you. You’ve known of Seungcheol for a long time through Joshua’s social media, you knew they were longtime friends and Joshua was always open about being close with Seungcheol’s family.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. Josh has told me a lot about you, you’re always a hot topic around here,” Seungcheol smirks to Joshua’s dismay.

“Not in a bad way, everybody loves your writing,” Joshua tries to diffuse the tension with a short smile.

“Is Sumin here?” He switches the topic completely, looking around to the back door for any sign of life.

“Yeah, she’s just with her mom. I’ll go get her,” Seungcheol replies before heading further back into the venue.

It’s another minute or two before he comes back with a toddler in his arms, her eyes lighting up at the sight of Joshua. She squirms in Seungcheol’s hold until he puts her down, and she takes off running until Joshua catches her in his arms.

“Joshie,” she screams into his ear. He spins her around for a moment until she’s giggling uncontrollably. It was absolutely adorable, it even got a smile out of you.

“Hi Minnie, how are you?” He’s beaming from ear to ear at her.

“Good,” she nods decisively. He points to you before introducing you to her.

“That’s Y/N. She’s a good friend of mine, can you say hi?” He coaxes her with a gentle voice.

“Hi,” She waves and Joshua is celebrating her again with a small kiss on the cheek. He seems like such a natural with her, it’s as if she’s his own daughter.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” You wave back and she offers you a shy smile.

“I have to go, but I’ll just be skating out there with Y/N, okay?” He reassures her with a sweet pat to her hair before handing her off to Seungcheol.

She puts her head on Seungcheol’s shoulder with another nod. “Out there,” she points to the ice.

“Yep. Be good for dad, I’ll see you later,” He winks at her before leading you both out to the ice.

Your heart is warm from the entire interaction. He sits down on the bleachers and you land next to him, silently placing his duffel bag onto the ground.

He unzips it to reveal your skates. He ordered them before you arrived, promising that he would get you to skate at some point during the trip. You just didn’t predict it would be this early on.

“How old is she?” You asked, toeing off your sneakers before putting on the skates one at a time.

“Two,” He smiles fondly at the thought of her. “Cheol and his wife are such good parents, they were worried about being too young but they’re perfect to her.”

“So you’re her godfather, I assume?”

“Is it that obvious?” He scrunches his face. He turns his attention to his skates for a moment, quickly lacing them up and tightening them. You didn’t even notice him taking off his other shoes.

“Yeah, you definitely gave off dad vibes, but it was sweet.”

“Him and his family have done so much for me, I couldn’t say no. I also helped him ask out his wife on their first date, so it was inevitable,” He pushes his hair out of his face with a grin.

“They helped you adjust here, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll always be grateful for them. It started with discounted rental fees because I couldn’t afford to use the space, so I owe a lot to them. I pay them back in any way I can,” He nodded solemnly.

He has a deep sense of gratitude that is admirable, it makes you wonder what it’s like to be so deeply initiated into someone’s life that there’s no question if you’ll be there forever, it’s just a matter of what role you’ll play.

It made sense that Joshua knew the place so intimately, he was clearly a member of Seungcheol’s family. He grew up in this rink, watched his friends grow and start their families. It was a safe haven.

“Are you ready to skate?”

“Barely.”

“That’s the spirit,” He rubs your shoulder before standing up. You also stand up, albeit far more slowly, facing toward the ice.

You’ve gone ice skating multiple times in your life, but not enough to remember anything past the basics. You step onto the ice, but you already feel like the surface is going to give out any second.

Joshua notices you start to flail and rushes to place a protective arm around your waist. “Are you okay?”

“No,” You squeeze your eyes shut and are already considering admitting defeat. The idea of voluntarily skating with an Olympic gold medalist had to be the worst idea you’ve had in a long time.

“Do you want me to get you the walker?” He asks sweetly. There’s absolutely no malice there, but it still feels slightly patronizing.

“Joshua, that’s not funny,” You whine, anxiously looking down at your skates.

“I’m not joking, I’m just giving you options!”

“No, I don’t need it. I just got nervous,” You reassure yourself. That was the truth, it was mostly the shock of being on the ice again after such a long time.

“Ok, so if I let go, you’ll be fine?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I’m letting go. Just bend your knees if you think you’re gonna fall,” He slowly moves away from you, looking expectantly to see how you’ll fare on your own. His advice works and you find your balance without too much effort. You do remember how to move forward on skates, so you decide to impress him a bit.

You move easily, pushing your back leg out and to the side before alternating legs, making your way across the ice without much issue. He is visibly impressed, gasping at you with his arms crossed.

“You’re so good! I thought you were a beginner,” He praises you while skating over to your side.

“I am! I don’t know anything other than this.”

“That’s fine, then we can just expand on that skill today. Nothing crazy, I promise,” He calms your nerves with a gentle hand on your shoulder.

The skill in question is extending the standard forward movements into drawn out strokes, so it appears as though you’re gliding instead of walking on the ice. You would leave that back leg out for longer periods to create a more elegant appearance when you move forward. When he demonstrates the move, you’re mesmerized. No matter how many times you’ve seen him do the same moves, there’s still an enchanting quality to his skating.

He can elevate any move without much effort, but that is clearly from years worth of work and persistence into making his moves clean.

Joshua is an incredibly patient teacher, far more than you expected. There’s absolutely no frustration when you make a mistake, just a quiet encouragement to keep going.

When you unexpectedly lose your balance, he’s making sure you fall backwards so as to not injure your hands. When you’re visibly frustrated, he lets you take a break for a few minutes to regroup. There’s a level of care you didn’t expect, but then again, it’s Joshua. He couldn’t ignore your requests for help even if he wanted to.

You’re not ready to do full out spins or jumps yet, but you are instilled with a new confidence that you can at least try something new without getting immediately discouraged.

“Are you good with finishing up there?”

“Yeah, I feel good. I do need something from you, though.”

“And what is that?”

“Your best jump.”

“Best jump?” He looks back at the ice before facing you again, seemingly considering all his options. Despite all of your years of supporting him, you still didn’t know the difference between the jumps, but you figure it’s best not to ask for more explanation than this.

“Pretty please?” You flash a smile that he can’t deny. He lets out a quiet laugh and his eyes search the ground for a moment before he nods.

“Okay, I’ll do a quadruple jump combo, but only because you asked so nicely,” He sighs, squaring his shoulders for a moment.

“I appreciate it a lot,” You amp up the compliments in hopes that he doesn’t change his mind.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say,” He skates away from you to find a solid starting position. You move to a corner wall to observe and stay out of the way.

He takes a deep breath before starting his entrance, snapping through both jumps with ease. He landed evenly, coming out into a pose for you, his arms pointed up with flair before putting them down again.

“Very impressive,” You compliment him.

“It was, wasn’t it?” His breathing is a bit uneven once he comes up to you again. You smile at his cockiness, but it’s well earned.

He restrains himself from practicing any further or else he’ll be here for hours on end, but that’s not too different from most days. He tells you this is one of his shorter visits, somehow being here for under 3 hours is an accomplishment worth celebrating.

You both say goodbye to Seungcheol and Sumin before heading out to his car. You climb into the passenger seat while he adjusts his seatbelt. He decides to let you interview him while he’s driving although you were fine with waiting until you were back at his home.

“So this current practice routine is the most intense level you’ve been at in the past 4 years?”

“Yeah, I slowly had to work it up to this point after the injury. It was almost painful to slow down that much, but I needed to,” He focuses on the road while responding. You’ve opted for writing notes on your phone and recording at the same time.

“How did it initially feel for you to go through it?”

“I hated it. I didn’t break my ankle normally either, so it wasn’t just the typical advice of staying off your ankle for 8 weeks. It took so much longer than everyone anticipated and I had to genuinely stop everything I was doing,” He tightens his grip on the steering wheel to your slight shock.

“I’m sure it was frustrating to not be able to enjoy that podium moment either.”

“Right, it was as if I didn’t even make the podium. I got 3rd place, but it was so excruciating to even be up there, I didn’t feel like I earned it,” He looks visibly upset just recounting it to you. It hurts to hear just how insecure he became afterwards. In hindsight, it makes sense that he didn’t want to spend time discussing it. Back then, the radio silence just made you hope that he was taking care of himself, not feeling pressured to keep anyone updated. Why would he want to constantly relive and dissect that kind of trauma?

“Do you ultimately want to redeem that moment?”

“I hope so. There’s always pressure to constantly outdo yourself, but I just want to finish the routines safely. That’s all I want,” He nods solemnly and you automatically believe him. Although he’s safely finished the other competitions within a season, there’s still an underlying fear of things going wrong at the worst possible moment.

“From what I saw today, you’re being careful,” You assure him. It’s not wrong to say that either, especially when he was helping you with the execution of the moves earlier. When he was done showing you a certain idea, he didn’t linger in the pose too long at all. It felt like he was overly cautious if anything, but you didn’t want to shift the mood too drastically.

“That’s from all the paranoia, trust me. I don’t want to feel afraid to compete, I want to break out of that habit,” He finally glances at you for a moment.

You’re grateful that he seems to echo your internal sentiment. There was never an air of hesitation around his skating, he was always quite self-assured in himself, but you both know that never conquering your fears could indefinitely stunt your growth. He obviously needed as long as possible to rebuild his self image and confront his fears.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’ll find that courage again,” You place a hand on his shoulder. The tension settles almost immediately at your touch.

“You think so?”

“I know you will. It’s either that or withdrawing from the Olympics which just sounds like a lot of paperwork, honestly,” You joke.

“You’re right, it’s a shit ton of paperwork,” He giggles and readjusts his hands on the wheel again.

You knew that last part wouldn’t be used for your final work, but it’s nice to hear him joke about it all. You liked being there for him as a friend, even if you’d never know exactly what it’s like to be in his position. He deserves that kind of empathy that’s not hollow or backhanded, you figure that’s the least you could do for him while being here.

You could finally even out the foundation of friendship in this way, silently repairing all the mistakes you’ve made in the past in regards to your relationship.

He’s able to talk a bit more about his recovery before the end of the drive and you feel satisfied by the end of the night. Over dinner, it feels like everything is evolving, not just the article itself. He’s opened himself up a bit further and you’d like to treasure that.

—

“You don’t have to stay the entire time, you know that right?” He turns his glance toward you away from the ice with a smirk playing on his lips.

The infamous 12-hour practice day had arrived, and you were dreading it the most out of the week’s schedule. Yet, you were committed to being as involved in his daily life as possible, despite your natural aversion to waking up at dawn. You didn’t want to be one of those writers that holed up in their hotel room to write their assigned article. It was typically out of your control how much time you were allowed to spend with a subject, but if given the option to spend more time with them, you wanted to take it.

Since it was Joshua, you still felt obliged to play catch up on spending time with him in any way you could, even if it meant watching him from the bleachers for an entire work day. Plus, you were already at the rink this early, there was no use in leaving to do touristy things alone when you didn’t necessarily want to do that anyways.

“I know, but I want to,” You retorted. He gives you that “you’re gonna eat your words” look, but he still accepts your answer.

“Are you still up to be interviewed once you’re done practicing?”

“Yeah, I should be good,” He takes a deep breath once he replies, seemingly preparing himself for the painstakingly long day ahead of him.

“Okay, I’ll leave you to it then,” You wave at him and he returns it immediately. You head up the bleachers to find a good seat, ending up somewhere towards the lower half of the seating. You wanted to be in a good position where you could view the full scope of his skating, but also capture the details of his face. Your position ends up being perfect, it makes watching him even more fascinating.

He does most of his stretches further away from you, so you’re caught craning your neck to see him. His muscles are well defined, a fact that you’ve been trying to ignore as the bulk of his arms seem to fight against the sleeves of his shirt as he stretches his limbs above his head.

His warm-up is calm yet still dynamic to watch. His jumps are so effortless that your head spins just thinking about the physics of jumping up into a spin and somehow not falling on your ass as you land.

Yet, he lands them perfectly every time. You know that’s not possible, that there’s probably some small tweak he’d make to the way he entered a jump or a correction he’d make to the angle of his landing, but you were fine living in ignorant bliss of the technical aspects of his skating.

You wanted yourself to enjoy being a spectator, to not fixate on every single detail, and simply enjoy an elite athlete being good at their sport.

He takes a small breather but soon goes into his assumed short program. Most diehard Olympics fans would kill to see even a glimpse of his routines for the impending games, but like any other figure skater, the details are carefully kept under lock and key until the competition begins.

You try to savor the image of him without the full theatrics of the actual performance, and the sight of him is enchanting.

His short program music is a bombastic and dynamic classical piece that forces you to focus on every detail of the performance. It’s a triumphant number, one that exudes the confidence and charisma of an experienced skater that knows the nuances of the song like the back of their hand. You decide that it suits him perfectly as he expresses the power of the song through cutthroat expressions and sharp movements.

After running through the full routine a few times, you notice him stop to take an extended break. He skates back to your side of the rink with a smile on his face.

“Falling asleep yet?” He jokes.

“Not yet,” you return the smile, your cheeks practically hurt just looking at him. It’s nearly impossible to avoid watching him, he’s always had this magnetic charm on the ice that makes him hard to ignore.

“Good, I haven’t bored you yet. How’s the writing coming?”

You glance at your laptop on the seat next to you, accompanied by scattered papers on top of the keyboard. The writing was mostly on pause considering the unusual environment, you didn’t ever write with the same classical song blasting in your ears on repeat.

Also, he was skating, so every time you thought you got into a good rhythm with writing, your eyes drifted back to him gliding across the ice. The sound of his skates hitting the ice was hard to ignore.

“It’s coming,” You lie easily. A quick tilt of his head signals that he knows you’re bluffing.

“Lots of strategizing, huh?” He doesn’t let on though, pointing at your notes instead and you’re nodding slowly.

“You’re not an easy person to write about,” You give him a pointed look and he’s grinning.

“So I’ve heard,” You’re glad he has some level of self-awareness. You’re not trying to give writers who are purposefully uninformed about his career when tasked to write a meaningful piece about him any credit, but he was a somewhat difficult subject.

Not in the traditional ways, of course, he’s not storming out of interviews over small details, but he’s so polished that it’s impossible to get much depth out of him beyond his typical media-trained answers.

You always heard the same things about him from other entertainment writers. He was perfectly kind and respectful to work with, but you would have to try especially hard to break him out of his mold.

Even if you felt that you knew him, you didn’t really know him at all.

The thought sits in the back of your mind like an unwanted guest.

“That means you actually have to keep giving me something to work with,” You sigh, gesturing your hands out toward him.

“We’ll see,” He playfully eyes you up and down, but it has a serious undertone. You’ve made some good progress, but you didn’t want to torture him for details. It wasn’t worth being invasive of his boundaries just to make a better article.

He skates off without another word and he’s back in the throes of practicing the routine. After a bit more technical work on the short program, he moves on to the free program.

The music is drastically calmer, it creates a stark contrast to his first routine. It’s still classical, you’d have to inquire exactly what track it was, but the mood of the piece was much lighter. It was smart of him to represent the full duality of his skating abilities.

His movements are almost fairylike, his delicate spins are effortless to watch. This doesn’t undercut the power of his jumps though, still as dramatic as ever. This routine contains far more quadruple jumps than the short program, likely in an effort to show off his technical prowess.

He wasn’t called the “technical prince” for nothing. It’s a nickname that’s been floating around the fandom since your early blog days, first used when fans noticed that young Joshua’s technical scores at competitions were almost always perfect. It’s followed him for years, evolving to show how clean his technique is.

He’s the textbook example of a good figure skater.

Once he finishes the routine, you can tell his stamina is reasonably depleted. From your occasional glances, you can tell it’s quite taxing to do multiple quadruple jump combinations in a row, yet he pulls it off every time.

The rest of the day consisted of him alternating between the routines, cleaning up details that he wasn’t happy with, and practicing the execution of his moves until he finally seemed satisfied with them. After a while, you figure you can’t write much else for this portion of the article without interviewing him again, so you settle further into the unforgivingly cold seats to watch him intently.

“Y/N!” He calls your name suddenly, waving his hand from across the rink.

“What?”

“It’s time to go home,” He beckons his hand for you to come toward him. You don’t hesitate to pack your laptop and assorted notes back into your purse, rushing over to meet up with him on his side of the rink. You don’t exactly know how to process being included in the concept of his home, even though you know it’s a harmless statement.

By the time you reach the other side, he’s already taken his skates off and replaced them with sneakers, his leg anxiously bouncing up and down as he watches you come over. He’s sat toward the end of the bleachers and you can sense that his body is ready to get moving.

“I just have to get a few things from the locker room and I’ll be ready to go. Do you want to go back there with me?” He looks toward the lengthy hallway behind him before looking back at you in anticipation. You didn’t go the first day he invited you to the rink out of an abundance of caution, mostly for your own heart’s sake.

You could keep yourself under control watching him collect his things, right?

“Yeah, I’ll go,” You nod decisively. He gets up and leads you through the hallway until you arrive at a private locker room, the door is adorned with a small nameplate with his name on it. He downplays how fancy it actually is, but it feels like a miniature hotel suite. In addition to the dressing room itself, it also contains a full private bathroom and sizable closet.

“Damn,” you mutter under your breath, looking around the room and taking in the full scope of it.

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice,” He adds. You’re still looking around and trying not to touch anything in fear of breaking something.

You turn around to voice your opinions, but you notice something else.

Joshua is shirtless. You weren’t exactly objectifying him, but it was definitely hard to not look at him. He’s taking a moment to wipe off the sweat across his chest, it feels a bit pornographic to keep looking at that point. The next time you look, he thankfully has a shirt on so your cheeks can stop fully burning at the sight of him.

He doesn’t notice your stare, but you do observe the shirts that fall to the floor when Joshua accidentally knocks his duffel bag onto the ground.

“I’ve got it,” You chirp, already reaching down to pick everything up.

“It’s okay,” Joshua hurriedly shoulders the bag back onto the bench, double checking that it’s not hanging off precariously like last time.

Your heads both come up at the same time, your faces only a few inches away from each other.

“Are you gonna move?” You inquire quietly. He stares back, obviously in no rush to fold. His glance is tempting, everything about him is tempting.

“Do you want me to move?” He counters.

Shit.

You didn’t want him to at all, the idea of him walking away makes you want to scream. The tension has been mounting the past few days whether you wanted to admit it or not. At first, you chalked it up to him just being a gentleman, but there was always a hint of something else there. His politeness toward his staff was completely different to the kindness he offered you.

The lingering glances on you when he’s cooking, his particularly fond smiles while you talk about something, and the soft touches all add up in your brain.

Now that you were in a different setting, it was crystal clear to you. If there was ever a sign, this was it.

“No,” You shake your head.

“Can I?” He asks and your heart has already melted into a puddle. No one ever asks you for a kiss. You’re not sure if you would’ve rejected him to begin with, but the tenderness leaves you enthralled.

You nod and he meets your lips with ease. He tastes better than you could’ve ever imagined. It doesn’t take long for you to move further into the kiss, pushing your tongue into his mouth. He accepts you and naturally picks up the pace, capturing your lips over and over again leaving you few chances to catch your breath.

“Shit,” You step back first and he’s clearly confused.

“Are you ok? We don’t have to do this,” His voice is far too worried for what you’re actually thinking about, poor thing.

“No, I’m fine, I just remembered that I didn’t get to interview you,” You pout. You genuinely feel guilty for not mentioning it before the lust took over your mind, but it still needed to get off your chest.

“That’s okay, we can just do it here,” He reassures you with a nod.

“No,” you caress his arm, “not here.”

It clicks once you start running your hand up and down his bicep, eventually resting your palm on the side of his neck. The gesture is enough to make him arrange his bag faster than you’ve seen him move the entire trip.

—

“God, you taste so fucking good,” Joshua moans into your ear, momentarily taking his lips off yours to catch his breath. You can’t even form sentences at this point, only quiet moans that show your dissolving restraint. He can tell you’re getting tired of holding back too, in fact it seems to bother him quite a bit.

“I wanna hear you,” He whispers again, he suddenly nips your ear in retaliation for being quiet.

It forces a whiny moan out of your throat, it’s embarrassing to bend so easily to him but his quiet humming on your neck is enough indication to you that he’s satisfied.

He insisted on driving you both home and for good reason, he was so helplessly horny that he couldn’t keep his hand off your thigh for the entire drive home. You felt him snake his hand underneath your skirt, but he didn’t go much further than that, his thumb idly rubbing circles on your inner thigh.

The moment you both walked inside the house, Joshua couldn’t contain himself at all against your lips, thus you were barely standing up against the door.

“Josh, please,” you breathe out. Your voice is weak, you can’t even pretend to have your guard up anymore.

“What’s up?” He barely gets it out before his lips are on yours again. You whimper into the kiss again, tapping your hands against his chest to get his attention. You manage to pull away to speak up.

“Please tell me you’re not gonna fuck me against the door,” You pant, looking up at him with a smirk.

He takes a deep breath and tilts his head to look at you intently. You almost think he’s angry until he suddenly picks you up bridal style, ignoring your startled scream with a smile.

He leads you upstairs into his bedroom and tosses you on the bed lightly, you lean back onto your elbows as he inches closer to you.

“You’re so fucking impatient, you know that?” He giggles at you, hands slowly prying open your thighs with gentle hands. You try not to hold your breath in anticipation, but the touch of his fingertips against your skin is already driving you insane.

“You made us rush home because you swore that you needed to get more material for the interview,” He speaks in a low tone, sliding his hands underneath your skirt again, but his hands stop at your hips, massaging the fabric of your underwear.

“I did, I mean, I do,” You stutter out, making eye contact with him. He laughs at your attempt to be coherent and hooks his fingers under both sides of your underwear. He decides to slip the entirety of his hands underneath, seizing your hips with outstretched palms. He yanks you down the bed in one swift movement, making you gasp.

“You kept teasing me with this skirt, ignoring me and acting like you weren’t already soaked for me back at the rink,” He palms the front of your cunt, confirming how desperate you’ve been for him. It makes you shudder and squeeze your eyes closed.

“No no no, baby, keep your eyes open. You’re gonna interview me right now,” He nods at you and your heart drops to your stomach. You’re already somewhat close to cumming, you’re convinced that a single touch to your clit would send you over the edge.

How the hell were you meant to interview him like this?

“Fuck,” You whine, hips already lifting off the bed to gain more friction.

“I know, honey, you have to focus. Can you do that or do you need my cock that badly?” He teases you with lustful eyes and you clench your jaw. You’re determined to prove him wrong, so you put your energy into contemplating a question to start with.

“I can focus, asshole,” You begrudgingly shift your hips to give him better access. You shake your head and come up with a question on the spot, eyes trained on his expectantly.

“What’s a common misconception about your public persona that you hate?” Your voice holds steady and he slides your underwear off quickly.

He hums to himself for a moment, deciding to graze a finger lazily against your folds. “I’m not a people pleaser or a pushover. People think me being a gentleman means I take all kinds of shit, but I don’t,” He slips two fingers into your core, a light smile plays on his lips when he feels you clench around him.

“So you think people in the industry look down on you for that?” You hear your voice lilt for a second as he finds a steady rhythm, curling his fingers instinctively. Your hips are rocking subtly and he clocks this immediately, he moves to cage you between his legs.

“I know they do,” He confirms with a lift of his eyebrows, “especially when I was younger. It fucked with my mentality a lot, but I know better now,” He adds when he sees your pout. He moves up to your chest, tugging your shirt up slightly. He moves back to let you take off your top and bra, but his fingers are still expertly moving inside your walls. The sound of your wetness is absolutely stealing your focus, especially when Joshua decides to force his fingers inside you even harder with low grunts.

He’s an absolute menace, you’re sure of it.

You only nod to his answer, but he disapproves at your silence. “Come on, you know the rules,” He moves up to capture your nipple in his mouth, eliciting soft moans out of you. Your orgasm is definitely on the horizon, the coil in the pit of your stomach is tightening with every bite to your chest.

“So I assume you channel a lot of frustration into your-” He hits your g-spot particularly hard, you let out a strangled cry that forces a tear down your cheek. You clamp a hand over your mouth, but Joshua is already pushing it off your face to leave a peck on your lips.

“Your skating, shit,” You whisper, you force his head back down to meet your lips in a heated kiss. Your tongue enters his mouth with no hesitation and he returns the kiss just as eagerly. He pulls back after a few seconds and leaves a kiss on your cheek.

“Definitely. People can say whatever they want about me, but I know I’m talented. I don’t have to resort to making shit up about my competitors to compensate for a lack of talent,” He laughs at the idea of being that desperate for attention. It makes your walls flutter around his fingers.

“You like it when I hype myself up, huh?” You watch him move to the crook of your neck, biting down hard on an exposed part of your skin.

“Yes, yes yes,” You slur out, eyes fluttering shut. He giggles at your temporary lack of attention before kissing across your jaw. He retreats back down to your thighs again, placing a finger against your clit.

“One more question and you can cum, I promise,” He nods at you and you return it after a moment, but it’s going to be an uphill battle to arrange your mushy brain into a proper thought.

“Do you think you’re the best figure skater in the world?” You sigh into the air, eyes rolling to the back of your head in frustration. It’s an absolutely loaded question, but you know his ego is massive right now since you’re in the palm of his hands.

His fingers still, the pressure remains deep in your core and he runs his free hand through his hair. The whole act would be far sexier than it already is if you weren’t seconds away from covering his fingers in cum.

He laughs quietly before speaking up again. “I do. We both know I am,” His voice is far too cocky for his own good. His stare is stone cold, he holds so much control over you that it’s almost unbearable.

“Now cum,” His nonchalance sends you over the edge instantly. Your high pitched moan goes completely silent, your mouth agape while your neck tilts back in an effort to regain control. Joshua slips his fingers out and moves up to your face, pressing them gently on your bottom lip. You suck them off immediately and watch him coo at you. “Good job, baby. Ready for anything else?”

“Can I take a nap?” You furrow your eyebrows at him, heart full of malice for his unexpectedly great oral skills, yet he’s still smitten with you.

Honestly, Joshua Hong was always gonna be great in bed. It’s not like you didn’t fantasize about having sex with him over the years, but you didn’t expect the prophecy to fulfill itself this easily.

Somehow, he got you all whiny and pliant when you didn’t expect it at all. It was annoying how well he could please you. You were slightly tired, but you didn’t want him to be a cocky shit on top of you again just yet. You needed to recover.

“Sure,” He finally got off the bed, presumably to help you clean up and your suspicions were correct when he returned a minute later with a damp washcloth. You started to sit up, but he made you lie down again.

Who were you to fight Joshua when he offered to tend to your shaking thighs and messy cunt? It was the least he could do after making you work for your orgasm.

—

The next morning, you’re shocked that Joshua is in bed next to you. He was always up and moving pretty early, deep into his morning routine while you were barely conscious.

You, on the other hand, were trying to treat this week partially as a vacation. When Joshua wanted to bring you along to his private schedules, you were still insistent on taking your time to get ready, much to his dismay.

Thus, you were grateful that he could actually slow down for one day while you were here. As your eyes adjusted to the sunlight filtering through the curtains, you realized this was the rest day placed onto his schedule for the week.

You look over to his sleeping form and realize that you’re deeply entangled with his body. Although you’re lying flat on your back, his head is tucked in the crook of your neck. You don’t dare to move your arms or legs though, as his body keeps you essentially trapped into place next to him.

Your minimal movements still stir him awake.

“Hi,” you whisper. He’s still forcing himself into consciousness, but he waves at you. You sit in silence for a few minutes, silently waking each other up with random touches on each other’s face or arms.

“We had sex three times last night, correct?” You ask out of the blue. He’s visibly confused at your sudden line of questioning.

“Not even a good morning?” He mutters, letting out a big yawn immediately after.

“No. I wanna know because I know you remember.”

“After that first part? I’m pretty sure it was three,” His voice is slightly hesitant, but you trust his answer considering he was dominant the entire time. You also wanted to know because it was becoming increasingly harder to deny how much you like him.

You have to admit, it was nice being able to have him like this, to watch him rub the sleep out of his eyes and cuddle without questioning if he wanted you back. He clearly did, even if his pride wouldn’t let himself say it. It was a matter of who would crack first, now that you’ve established the fact that you have undeniable sexual chemistry.

“How did you get me to go three more times?” This question is especially pertinent now that your muscles felt the aches to match that number. You can barely sit up against the headboard without wincing.

“You asked me to,” He put his hands up in defense.

You now remember that you did ask to keep going. The first time was standard, being called a cockslut during the second round made you go feral enough for a third, and the absolute filth of the last round knocked you out completely.

You were fucked, considering that you didn’t want to have sex with anyone else but only had access to said person for a few more days.

“Right,” You sigh.

“What are you planning to do today?”

“I’m gonna edit the article a bit, I’ve been putting it off. What about you?”

“Chores. I need to get a lot of things done, but remind me to run you a bath at some point today. Your muscles hurt, right?” He’s already out of the bed, stretching his arms above his head.

“Yeah, but I don’t-”

“No, I’m running you a bath. Us, technically since my muscles hurt too,” He raises his eyebrows at the thought of pampering himself, but he’s still insistent on the idea.

“Fine,” You bite back the rest of your response and he picks up on it immediately.

“No rebuttal?”

“No,” You pout, jutting your lip out to garner some kind of sympathy. He falls for it, approaching the bed again.

He leans down to leave a chaste kiss on your lips, his mouth naturally moving up to kiss your cheek as well.

“I promise it’ll be worth it, you’ll feel a lot better,” He softens his delivery for you and it barely hurts once he pulls away. He’s had that effect on you lately, his affection so irresistible that even the worst news has a slightly sweet aftertaste coming from him.

“Come on,” He taps his side of the bed to coax you up, and you slowly follow him.

The encouragement works though, as you’re both propelled into a productive afternoon. Joshua gets all of his chores done, somehow doing three loads of laundry and other assorted tasks while you’re editing.

Meanwhile, you’re firmly planted on the couch, trying to make the interview sound cohesive. You don't need to fully edit while you’re on the trip, that’s not even possible with what you have, but you wouldn’t feel right just leaving the entire process until you arrived home.

Joshua gives you an adequate amount of space, only stopping you to make sure you ate lunch or took a break from looking at your laptop screen.

They were welcome distractions, truly. If the process of trying to capture Joshua accurately in the article didn’t make any sense, it was nice to know the real Joshua was somewhere flitting around the house doing the dishes or vacuuming the living room.

Plus, it was nice to paint domestic scenes about him in your mind.

Joshua doesn’t take breaks much at all, this has been true for his entire career. He’s always competing, always performing, always doing someone a favor by being a guest of honor or special performer. It was nice to see him just exist, to fret over if he had enough laundry detergent for his next load and watch him sort his white clothes from his colorful wardrobe.

You wonder if these moments add up for him too, if he craves this kind of quiet domesticity at times.

He places a gentle hand on your shoulder and you look up at him.

“Can we take a bath now? Is it a bad time?” He worries, but you’re ready to pause.

“No, I’m ready,” You confirm. He helps you off the couch with a steady hand. You walk side by side on the way up the staircase this time, arms linked with hands untouched.

His master bathroom is just as simplistically ornate as you figured it would be. The bathtub overlooks the backyard, displaying a gorgeous view of the city skyline right above the trees.

The sun was about to set, so the view was even more picturesque than you could’ve imagined.

Throughout the day, your aches have been pressing at the back of your brain, interrupting your thought process multiple times, so much so that you don’t know why you fought him against this in the first place.

He opts for picking the right temperature for the water while he leaves you to pick out a calming scent to include in the bath.

You pick an expensive looking lavender bubble bath and he smiles when you place the bottle in his hands.

“I’ve been meaning to use this one, actually,” His eyes light up.

“Sure you have,” You sit down next to him, placing your head on his shoulder. You both observe the water slowly filling up the tub, he silently squeezes the bottle under the running water before retreating once the bubbles start to spread throughout the surface.

You both sit in silence just watching the water fill up, the sound of the faucet echoing throughout the room. Once the tub becomes noticeably fuller, he adds more bubble bath until the top is visibly covered with bubbles.

He insists on getting in first, stripping his clothes easily before settling into the tub slowly. You can already see the tension leave his muscles, especially on his face. His jaw loosens and he takes a deep breath.

He opens one eye and giggles when he sees you hesitate to enter. “Come on, I don’t bite,” He reassures you.

You move to take your clothes off in a few quick movements. He watches you with adoration, as if he’s never seen you naked before and he’d like to take it all in for a moment. Stepping into the tub isn’t too difficult, but when he suddenly pulls your waist down, the splashing startles you.

“Josh, you’re gonna get water everywhere,” you whine.

“You’re supposed to be relaxing, remember?” He pulls you flush against his chest. He punctuates his question with kisses behind your ear.

Right. You force yourself to take a breath and settle into his skin.

You know your skin is littered with light bruises from the night before and he seems to notice this, his hand silently tracing over the red marks before stopping near your collarbone.

Once he stops moving and you stop overthinking, the silence is perfect.

It’s not entirely silent, there’s still the hum of the overhead fan creating ambiance, but the dim lights pull you into the fantasy of it all.

You realize that you haven’t felt this peaceful in a long time. Perhaps it’s his presence or the fact that you haven’t sat in silence on your own in so long, but you want it more often.

You want him to envelop your life with his gentle reminders and caring gazes, silently telling you that there’s no point in working yourself to death if there’s no life for you to live outside of that.

“Joshua?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever want your career to slow down?”

He sighs so deeply that you feel it in your chest. “Is this off the record?”

“Yeah.”

“Then yes. I want to slow down so badly, it feels like my body is fighting back against how much I work sometimes,” His response is slightly pained, adjusting his body underneath you.

You pause for a few moments before speaking up again. “What’s stopping you?”

“I don’t-,” He hesitates.

“It’s okay,” Your voice mirrors the softness that he’s given you throughout the day. He gathers his thoughts for a second before trying again.

“I don’t know who I am as a person if I don’t work. This has been my entire life, if I get a few days to myself I feel like I’m going insane,” He sounds so tired of keeping up the charade, tired of being everyone’s perfect gentleman, just tired of it all.

“Have you told your team?”

“Yeah. After this Olympics cycle, I’m pulling back. I need to before it’s too late, you know?”

“Absolutely. I don’t want you to burn out even more.”

“I’ve been burnt out for ages, so what’s a little bit longer,” He chuckles bitterly. It felt like a poor response the moment you said it, but something in you hoped it wasn’t wrong to be concerned.

“So you’re gonna do the charity skate tomorrow even though you’re burnt out,” You predict.

“I mean, yeah, the skating itself isn’t the problem. I love performing, I’m just not built to keep going without consistent breaks anymore,” He reasoned.

It made complete sense knowing how quickly his career ascended once he entered the elite circuit. He hasn’t left the top 10 of the World Standings since his first full elite competition season which is incredibly hard for anyone to keep up throughout their career.

It’s no wonder that he’s tired of keeping an unmanageable pace.

“I’m sorry,” You whisper. You don’t know what else to say. What could you even tell him?

“Please, it’s not your fault.”

“Do you want me to put this in the interview? Or just write some filler paragraph about it?” You giggle through the last question and he's amused as well.

“Filler, please. I’m confident you won’t make me sound like a dick,” He plants a kiss on your cheek as a silent thank you.

“I promise I won’t.”

“I am excited for the show tomorrow though,” He shifts the conversation and it’s a welcome change.

“Anything fun planned for your number?” You asked.

From what you’ve read, Joshua’s rink held the annual charity skate event in order to honor the professional skaters who train in their facilities, allowing them space to perform routines that they may not have had the chance to otherwise. Notoriously, skaters were extremely flashy with their songs and costumes since there was significant creative freedom.

“Not really, it’s nostalgic of my old numbers.”

“Will I remember it?”

“Definitely, it made your ranking of my best performances forever ago,” His laugh vibrates through your body.

“That list definitely holds up, by the way,” You defend your teenage choices blindly, you definitely hadn’t seen it since you posted it, but it’s nice that he actually remembered some of the content you posted.

“I know you’ll love it,” He presses a long kiss on your cheek once again, but lingers against your face this time.

You’re back to silence again for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry it’s been so long since we’ve seen each other,” You apologized. You can sense that he’s already shaking his head no at your words before you can finish your sentence.

“It’s just as much my fault as it’s yours.”

“You know I was avoiding you, though,” You clarified.

“I noticed that,” You could tell that he was smiling through the response, it makes your cheeks burn.

“I was definitely doing the same though,” He immediately follows it up. In all honesty, it was a relief that both of you decided to bury yourselves in shaping your respective careers. You were unintentionally coping in the same ways, silently hoping the other person was making better choices.

Alas, you were too similar for that to be true.

“But you know what?”

“Hm?”

“I’m really proud of you. I haven’t told you that enough and I feel terrible. I should’ve been there for you,” he replies earnestly.

After all this time, he was proud of you. In retrospect, you thought you were too obsessive or had unintentionally crossed his boundaries as a fan. Yet, that was never the case. He was always grateful that you supported him at every turn, so why wouldn’t he return that gratitude to you?

You didn’t need his validation, the initial interview all those years ago was enough to satisfy you a million times over, but he needed to express it.

You were eternally grateful that he acted on that need.

However, that last part of the confession urges you to sit up completely. You turn your body as much as possible to face him without splashing the water too much.

“You were there for me.”

“Leaving comments on your Instagram is not supporting you in the way you need, you know that,” He counters.

He’s right. You adjusted your expectations for Joshua years ago, you weren’t happy with how things were, but you accepted that your communication would always be limited.

You didn’t have the courage to talk to him, you figured things would never change. It wasn’t smart, you wasted far too much time refusing to invest in your relationship simply because of your own cowardice.

It seems he also became content with barely doing enough.

“I’m sorry for doing the same thing.”

“This can be a truce, then. I want us to be closer if you want that,” He holds out his hand and you take it immediately.

“I absolutely want that,” You're grinning so hard that your cheeks hurt. “So this means you want to kiss me again?”

“You have a massive hickey on your neck and you don’t think I want to kiss you again?” He’s almost fed up, but that smirk tells you otherwise.

“I’m just making sure,” You lower your head coyly. “Come here, babe,” He beckons you over, but he’s too eager to let you make the entire distance. He captures your lips with ease, placing his hand on your cheek. You steady yourself with your hand on his arm, leaning into the kiss with a sense of urgency.

It’s only a few moments before you pull back. “Josh, the water is so fucking cold,” You laugh through your shivers.

He reaches behind you to open the drain and kisses you again. You can’t help but smile against his lips.

The new uncharted territory you’ve forged with him makes your skin burn with excitement.

—

As soon as you arrive at the backstage area of the rink, Joshua’s whisked away by his stylist and assistants to the dressing room. You’re escorted to a VIP viewing area towards the top of the rink, a lounge with access to multi-view screens and a bird’s eye view of the ice.

Before the show starts, you familiarize yourself with the other figure skaters performing tonight. You’ve heard of all of them to some extent, having watched them in anticipation of Joshua’s performances in the past at invitationals and other competitions. Tonight was no different, as Joshua would be the last skater performing tonight.

The marketing team knew exactly what they were doing with that decision.

There were definitely fans of the other skaters dispersed throughout the stadium, but most people you saw were Joshua fans, carrying slogans and wearing merch with his name on it.

Some people even recognize you on the way up to the VIP section which throws you for a loop. They were mainly shocked that you were even at this kind of event in the first place, but it felt validating to be complimented for something outside of him.

Although the other skaters are highly entertaining to watch, your mind feels ready to see Joshua perform. Their performances are satisfying, but that particular spark is missing. It feels reminiscent of when you’d anxiously stay up to watch livestreams of his performances at 3 am, live updating your followers on the exact time when Joshua would be performing.

It was bittersweet to be able to watch him in person. It’s been years since you’ve watched him perform in the flesh, but the circumstances feel perfectly aligned.

“Performing Every moment of you, please welcome Joshua Hong,” The announcer’s voice booms through the stadium speakers and the stadium erupts into cheers. The sight of him waving to the camera is enough to leave the stadium in shambles, so his steps onto the ice are even more precious.

The pink top was the right choice now that he’s about to perform. He made you pick between a few options earlier in the day, but the sheer sleeves and pastel color match the mood perfectly. His side parted hair is neatly styled and light makeup highlights his soft features. The lighting really does his face justice as he purses his lips slightly, adjusting his head slightly down to enter his starting pose.

He moves a hand onto his heart and tucks his right leg behind his left.

As soon as the music starts, your heart clenches.

He chose this particular song, out of all his older routines. This song was in constant rotation throughout his first elite competition season, you could practically see it in your sleep.

When you watch him, you notice that the routine has barely changed either, the step sequences are just as smooth as you remember with delicate flairs of his new style.

The music is somehow more emotional than you remember, a sign that his artistry evokes such a vivid image that you can only think of him and this particular routine when you hear the song.

The execution of his combination jumps are flawless as always, and the audience agrees with loud applause every time he lands them. It seems as though he doesn’t have to try as he glides around the rink, a dreamy expression paints his face as he visibly connects with the lyrics.

He always transformed into a new character in every routine while still maintaining his own distinct style, it was something you deeply admired about his skating.

Before you know it, the song slowly comes to a close and Joshua stands in that final pose you remember so well, his face settling into a soft smile.

The crowd is absolutely obsessed with him, you look to see that many people were on their feet for a standing ovation. You immediately join in, looking toward his reaction. The cameras capture his shock, he’s pleasantly surprised by all the fanfare. He takes it in for another minute or so, looking up at the people in the stands with appreciative eyes. He finally bows his head and waves before skating off the ice.

When the entire group is called back onstage for final bows and the closing ceremony, he is once again dazzled by how intensely the crowd cheers for him once he’s introduced onstage. It’s precious to watch him try to shake it off with his hands on his face, looking to his fellow performers for a way to avoid the attention. He has always been appreciative of his support, always remaining humble in the face of his popularity constantly growing.

It doesn’t take as long as you expected for him to meet up with you. He asks you to wait in the hallway outside his dressing room, and he soon emerges; he barely lets you get a word out before enveloping you in a hug.

“What did you think?”

“I didn’t think you’d pick that one, honestly!” Your enthusiasm quiets when he kisses you and you suddenly feel acutely aware of the staff around you. He notices your shyness and pulls himself against your ear again.

“We’ll be alone soon, okay? I’m glad you liked it,” He punctuates his sentence with a kiss on the cheek. It made you relax into his touch and hold your hand while you were still in the venue.

Once outside, he lets go to briefly wave at the crowd of his fans before placing his hand on the small of your back.

You hear the gasps when he does it, but you don’t look back at the crowd. The judgment stays in your skin once you’re both escorted into the SUV, even when Joshua’s trying to get your attention with kisses to your hand.

“What are you thinking about, babe?”

“Nothing,” It’s easier to lie in the moment. He eyes you for a bit longer but ultimately doesn't question you any further.

You can’t tell him that everything feels especially temporary now. You know what it’s like to be on the opposite side of it as a fan, the initial feeling of seeing him make contact with a new romantic interest is always shocking. Neither of you owed them anything, you never had to reveal the depth of relationship if that’s what you both wanted.

He says he wants you, but that inevitable “what happens next” conversation hasn’t happened and you’re leaving in the next 48 hours. If there was any time to figure out the definition of your relationship, it was now.

Although the conversation in the bath last night was enlightening, you needed some kind of finality. You wouldn’t let yourself fall for vague promises anymore.

Will he make you a priority when his schedule is about to amp up even more?

If you needed to move on, you’d rather know now before you’re on another 13 hour flight left to your own devices.

—

You’re able to tag along with Joshua to his practice session with his coach on your last full day in town.

Although the conclusion of the trip takes up most of your brain space, it’s still interesting to watch his skating become informed by a new perspective. You couldn’t hear all of the critiques in detail, but it was enough to understand how Joshua’s energy was shaped through their leveled guidance.

He switched from his longtime coach once he broke his ankle, understandably citing that the old coach had pushed him to the point of collapse, no matter how grateful he may have been for his old coach’s support thus far.

The dynamic was far more supportive, you concluded. You were able to get more writing done, but your eyes drift to him more often than not.

He practices intensely for around 6 hours today, still a considerate amount of time considering the other practice days in his schedule. He didn’t appear distracted when you were watching him, but he was clearly eager to be alone with you again. He was practically pulling you into the front door once you arrived at his home.

He leads you upstairs to his bedroom before closing the door quickly.

“Kiss me,” His request is urgent, and you oblige despite feeling hesitant.

It’s best to just kiss him, to enjoy a good thing standing right in front of you while you have it.

He’s showing all his tells that he wants more than just kisses, cradling the back of your head, moaning into your mouth. It all still feels so enticing.

Yet, as always, he seems to notice something’s off before you can. He must notice the tension in your body that you tried your best to will away. He pulls out of the kiss and examines your eyes.

“Are you ok?” He’s slightly panting. You force yourself to close your eyes to steady your nerves.

“No,” you admit.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this, you know that.” He knows exactly what you mean by the way his shoulders drop. He looks nervous, not sure if he’s about to lose you.

“Why not? What would be so wrong about being with me?” He’s genuinely upset, fighting your answer almost instantly. Therein lies the problem, there’s nothing wrong about dating him as a person. It was simply the logistics that made everything far more complicated than your heart could bear.

“Nothing,” your voice trembles. “It would be great,” A tear falls from your eye and he’s already reaching up to wipe it away. You don’t stop him from touching your face.

“But I can’t be halfway across the world from you, I can’t watch you pretend to love me and then start dating someone else right in front of my face again.”

“You know dating Ara wasn’t my choice, I wouldn’t do that to you again,” His voice is strangely quiet.

Ara was a famous Korean actress who was practically a critic’s darling at this point in her career. She dated Joshua for 4 years, long enough for the Korean public to become absolutely enamored with the idea of them. The concept of Korea’s charming upcoming actress and Korea’s technical skating prince dating each other was obviously popular among netizens, so their sudden breakup was quite shocking.

Their conflicting schedules made it a perfect storm for them to stop speaking to each other.

It all ended very publicly, but somehow Joshua was still beloved in the end. He always was.

At a work gala he was the guest of honor for, he told you that he wanted to be with you over drinks. There were many kisses exchanged in a secluded hallway, promises linger against your skin and you thought they were real.

She was his plus one, but he insisted that they were just friends.

You trusted him, and their relationship was announced a few days later. You were crushed, it made you regret ever thinking you could be more than a fan who simply pushed her luck.

“You stayed with her for 4 years, you loved her,” You persisted.

“No, I didn’t.”

“She said you did,” It bites harder than you expect, but it’s true. There were numerous interviews of her confirming the depths of their relationship. Whenever she mentioned him, there was always long-term commitment implied.

“I promise you I didn’t.” He squares his jaw as he insists on it being false.

“Why did you lie? Why didn’t you just let me down easy? You do it with literally every fan,” You shake your head, knowing exactly what he’s been through. You’ve seen the death threats, ultimatums, and invasive love offers that he’s received over the years. If he could handle that with grace, he could at least give you a proper response.

“You know you mean more to me than that,” He begged.

“If I mean more to you, then you shouldn’t have done it,” You respond. It’s selfish, you know it is.

“You can’t be fucking serious! It was to further my career, you of all people should know that,” He yelled. His voice doesn’t deter you, it simply makes you more determined.

“You could’ve fought back like you’ve done at any other point of your career. You should have fought for me,” You try to yell back but your voice falters again.

“This is me fighting for you, I want you,” He pleaded, moving closer to you out of desperation. Yet, you avoid his eye contact to close your eyes.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” You griped, shaking your head out of frustration. You hate that he’s dodging the question. You’ve seen him fight over much less, you’re not sure why he can’t recognize that he could’ve tried for you.

“You’re fighting me over hypotheticals, shit that hasn’t even happened yet.”

“You had another reason,” You state unremarkably, finally opening your eyes again. It was never a black or white situation, not with him.

“What?”

“You stayed with her for another reason.”

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and internally resets before looking at you again.

“I didn’t want you to feel tied to me. I already knew what people were saying about you because of me, I knew you didn’t want me overshadowing your career. I didn’t want to haunt you,” He seems desperate to make you see his side of it.

“But you did, from the moment I met you. I knew I’d never be able to get over you. I built up a picture of you in my mind for years, and you actually fit it. I was stupid enough to think that my dumb luck would actually let me date you,” You confessed. You lower your head by the time you finish speaking.

He didn’t seem to understand that the dynamic would’ve always been uneven between you, but you were willing to risk it.

“Y/N,” He starts.

“I was fucking devastated that I still needed you,” you interrupt him, “I was doing perfectly fine, but I knew I would regret not doing this interview. I let you in one last time, to see if it’d be different than before, but you’re not ready. You’re still not ready and it was my fault for expecting too much of you.”

The silence is loud, you both have to process all of the feelings stirred up between you.

“I’m sorry.”

You’re not sure if that’s enough.

“Just indulge me for a second, do you love me?” You ask desperately.

He doesn’t speak. He looks torn, as if he wants to but something deep inside himself still hesitated to admit it. It confirms your worst fear, that even when there’s no other obstacles in the way, he can’t be what you need.

You scoff, wiping your face once again.

“Thanks for letting me stay here, I guess,” You walk back to your room and shut the door behind you. You unconsciously listen for any movement outside the door, to see if he would chase after you.

He doesn’t.

He does a variety of tasks in the kitchen, you hear running water and the sound of cabinet doors shutting, but he never approaches the door.

The kitchen light turns off and you hear his bedroom door shut.

You’re honestly glad he left you alone, but it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.

As you settle into bed, you remember that he wanted to drive you to the airport tomorrow.

You’d rather walk the entire way than let him see you like this.

—

Joshua is an idiot, all things considered.

It was right there, he had the chance to tell you everything and give you his entire heart, but the words were stuck in his throat. He can barely go to sleep that night, but he could at least send you off to the airport the next morning.

It was wishful thinking that the drive would be any less painful, but he could at least fulfill his promise of taking you there. Thus, he doesn’t expect the guest room to be empty when he stumbles out of his room to go make himself breakfast.

He’s suddenly on high alert, thinking of all the things that could’ve possibly happened to you.

His internal monologue stops when he sees a note downstairs on the kitchen counter. He picks it up and curses under his breath.

“Changed my flight, your driver took me to the airport. Thanks again for letting me stay. - Y/N”

The message feels so stiff, it lacks any of your personality. Yet, he couldn’t pity himself for too long, he had to find you.

He had no idea if your flight had already taken off or not, but he at least had a location. Your original flight wasn’t until late afternoon, so he figured you must have been really fed up to change it to a mid-morning flight. The anger you felt transcended your hatred of mornings, and that was enough to really get Joshua moving.

He decided to stick with the clothes he had on to minimize the amount of time in the house. He wasn’t sure if it was smart to buy an impulse ticket for a flight he wasn’t going on, but he did it anyway.

As he sat in his car, he wasn’t sure if he locked the front door, but the adrenaline made him forget altogether.

The drive to the airport was a complete blur, he was certain that he blew through a few just-turned-red lights in an effort to get there. Once he arrives, he is anything but discreet.

He thanks his lucky stars that he gets a short security line so that he can run through the airport to find you. He only stops to check the massive flight board for flights to your city before picking up the pace again, almost running into a few people on the way.

He just had to make it to gate 12.

He spots the gate out of the corner of his eye, almost missing it due to his haste. He scans his eyes quickly across the group of people to see if you could possibly be there.

He’s almost given up on searching for you, but just like the movies, he finds you sitting in the corner wearing that particular writing hoodie.

He knows whatever way he chooses to approach you, it’ll scare you. Yet, he opts for the least terrifying option.

He walks over, taking a small breath before speaking up.

“Hi,” It comes out far too hesitant, but it still gets your attention. You look up at him, evidently confused but annoyance shows up quicker.

“What are you doing here?” You’re not moved at all, he felt like an inconvenience.

“We need to talk. Can I sit with you?” He points to the empty chair and you stare at him for a moment. You quietly oblige, giving a quick nod. You didn’t reject him outright, so that’s a win in his book.

“I’m really sorry about last night. I should’ve told you how I felt,” His voice is hushed so as to not disturb anyone else around you. Most people were sitting further away, but he didn’t want to take any chances. You only look forward, not acknowledging him at all.

“I thought about everything and you were right to be worried. I haven’t shown you that you can trust me to commit,” He continues.

“Whatever you want to do, that’s fine. I just,” He stops his train of thought to take a breath.

“I love you. I should’ve told you the moment you asked me, I should’ve told you the first day you came to town. I always knew,” He finishes with a shaky breath. You both sit in silence for longer than he’d like, but it’s understandable. Your longtime crush lets you down then admits he’s loved you for ages, it’s a lot for anyone to process.

“Joshua?”

He turns to face you. “Yeah?”

“That was corny as fuck,” You let out a laugh, covering your mouth with your hand. He’s happy to see you smile for a bit, even if it’s at his expense.

“I know, I just needed to tell you before you left,” He laughs quietly. It covers up the temporary embarrassment he feels. No matter what you tell him, he figures that it was worth it to put everything on the line.

“I forgive you, though. And I love you too,” You smile through the reply and your voice is the softest he’s ever heard it.

The newness of it all makes him blush.

“Still can’t look at me, huh? Do I make you nervous?” He touches your shoulder in a silent plea for you to let him in.

“Fuck off,” You finally make eye contact with him and grab his hand, fingers automatically intertwined with his. You press the back of his hand to your mouth for a kiss. The gesture quiets all his lingering fears.

“I’m not relocating for you though, I like my apartment and my job,” You give him a pointed look.

“I wouldn’t ask you to do that. Plus I told you I’m trying to slow down, remember?” The realization hits your face and it makes him giggle.

“Does that mean you’re moving in with me?”

“It might,” He suggests. He thinks he’s a pretty decent roommate, but he’d change his bad habits in a heartbeat if it meant you were more comfortable.

“Not before the Olympics though. And you’d need to sell the house, right?”

“Yeah. Shit, you’re really getting ahead of me here,” He didn’t really consider all the details yet, especially thinking about how shocked his management team would be at the decision, but he knew you were too good to lose.

He lived enough of his life without you, and it was time to switch things up.

“Just making sure you’re aware of what all of this would mean,” You remind him. It was a completely fair critique considering how many directions his life was currently being pulled in.

“Of course, but I’m coming to visit before I move. Many times,” He’s already mentally planning out a schedule in his head, plotting out weekend getaways and week-long trips just to spend time with you again.

“You won’t have your own room though, sorry,” You sigh in fake concern.

“I think we can make that work,” He assured you with a smile.

“I still can’t believe you bought a fucking plane ticket to get past security to come find me. You’re insane,” You shake your head at him in disbelief.

“Your boyfriend is insane,” He stresses the term, “and it was the right thing to do. I couldn’t let you get away like that.”

You both talk for a while, just drinking in each other’s presence as a new couple. While you’re recounting your metal detector encounters, it hits him that he doesn’t know when he’ll see you again.

Everything keeps getting busier between the two of you, and the possible timeframe of him moving seems further and further away with each passing moment.

He desperately wants to slow everything down in his career immediately, for all of his responsibilities to be taken care of for him.

The boarding process begins and he’s wistful, he didn’t think it would hurt so deeply to let you go home. He pulls you into a tight hug, his head nestled into the crook of your neck. “I love you so much, baby,” His voice wavers.

“Don’t fucking cry, you’ll make me cry,” You whisper, curling into his body even further. It makes him smile despite the tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I’ll see you soon, okay? I promise,” He attempts to steady his voice, but it’s no use. The moment he has the love of his life, you’re already leaving.

You lean back and press your lips to his, you move as quickly as time permits. It’s not the kiss he wants, but it’s enough to sate him.

He pulls away first, kissing your cheek before standing back to get a good look at you.

“Now go, they’re about to finish up your section,” He pointed to the gate with a watery laugh, finally wiping his cheeks from the tears.

You wave one last time as your ticket gets scanned and you’re no longer in view.

He’s not ready to go back to an empty house, one without you sitting on the couch bundled up in his blankets, staring at your computer with squinted eyes. He’s not ready to fall asleep without you next to him and wake up the next day knowing you wouldn’t be up until midday.

You’ve worked your way into his life and he can’t picture another second without you in it.

He decides that whenever you’re available to talk on the phone, you would plan his first visit.

That was the only way he could cope with the time and distance that seemed impossible to cross.

—

The Joshua profile is edited and completed in due time, somehow without losing your sanity.

Joshua is always sending you his edits, many of which are rejected the moment he comments them. Yet, you promise him that he can have input on another piece.

Once it’s approved through final edits, the profile is received well, all things considered. While there are unavoidable critiques, it still resonates with fans and writers alike. It goes considerably less viral than your other content with him, but viral nonetheless. It gets another boost in attention when Joshua reveals your relationship to the public exactly two months after it’s posted, and people are now re-examining the profile for signs of love blooming in between the lines.

These recent post-profile interviews he did were keeping you company during your downtime after work. You’d find yourself watching them on your laptop in bed, craving the sound of his voice when he was caught up in practice. He told you to watch this one specifically when it was uploaded though, so you decided to listen to him.

“So we have to talk about your relationship and the article,” The late night host segues into the new topic and Joshua handles it with ease.

“Of course,” He’s nodding along.

“So you fall in love with one of your biggest fans and do this reunion interview after 10 years? What’s the whole story?”

“Well, she’s been a fan of mine for my entire career and we first met when she made this viral blog post about me qualifying for my first Olympics,” He recounts the story for what feels like the millionth time, but you still eat it up every time. He has an exact script that you can almost know how he’ll phrase it.

“We film an interview and that goes even more viral, like 20 million views or something crazy,” He stops to laugh for a moment and the audience laughs along with him.

“We met up a few times over the years, but I finally suggested we do something for the 10 year anniversary of the interview. That’s how it all came together,” He nods with a grin.

“That’s amazing, is there anything you want to tell her?”

He looks directly into the camera and takes a breath. “Just that I miss you and love you very much,” His voice softens and the audience lights up with applause. He blows a kiss to the camera before the host switches topics once again, moving on to more Olympics talk for the rest of the video.

The declaration of love is simple, he’s not the kind of guy to make these big sweeping gestures of love, but it’s more than enough for you. You send him a quick text approving of the video and your heart is extremely full.

He moves in right after the Olympics end, but he’ll have a chance to properly decompress from the competition. The anticipation is enough to almost drive you insane, but the wait will be worth it.

—

The Olympics are a complete blur, as expected. You try to enjoy other events during your time there, but the men’s individual skate is the only thing on your mind. Joshua tried to make things for you as comfortable as possible despite living in the designated Olympic Village. He always complained that he wasn’t able to see you by sending you lots of heartfelt texts, but you teased him that he just needed to focus on competition.

Joshua won the gold medal, as expected by numerous sports networks and prediction experts.

You knew he’d win too, obviously.

Although he performed last in the final group, moving his rank down to 5th before his free skate performance, his final showing put him 10 full points above 2nd place.

Your boyfriend, who has been swept up in podium ceremonies, post-skate interviews, and a celebratory dinner is finally alone with you in your hotel room and you intend to make the most of it.

“Congratulations,” You’re practically yelling in his ear as he smothers you in a hug, clutching the back of your head. He’s free of the costume and makeup from earlier in the night, even his team tracksuit was exchanged for an old shirt and shorts.

“Thank you, baby,” His response is muffled against your shirt. You pull away to admire his face for a moment before leaning in for a deep kiss.

He’s feeling just as desperate as you are, swiping his tongue into your mouth with ease. It’s been so long since you’ve had a chance to just kiss him, let alone see him for more than a few minutes at a time. There were still press circuits and endless events for him to attend, but for a moment he was simply your gold medalist.

You barely come up for air for the next few minutes, getting all of the long distance reunion induced kisses out of your system. You step away to breathe against his neck and collect your thoughts.

“I’m so proud of you, like I was fully sobbing in my seat after the scores.”

“You were?” He questions, eyes widening.

“Of course, you’ve worked so hard to get here after everything. It makes me wanna cry all over again,” You’re so fond that it makes your heart swell for him.

“My poor baby, crying her eyes out over me like the good old days,” He coos.

“Yeah,” You let out a shaky laugh and wiped a stray tear from your eye. There were no ways to describe how it felt to watch the love of your life succeed from so many points of view, in some ways your relationship is a time capsule of your adolescence.

Joshua is simultaneously the object of your youth and the promise of a better future.

The journey is never lost on you, all of the time spent learning each other all over again reinvigorated your spirit.

“I’m ready to go home with you, I’m just so tired,” He whispers. The collective stress of the past few years is catching up with him now that the hardest part is over, that sense of normalcy needed to come sooner rather than later.

“I know, love. Just a few more days and we can sleep in as much as we want,” You think out loud, but he seems to like the idea as you cup his face in your hands. The tension melts from his face the longer you stay still and he lets out a quiet hum.

“Can we cuddle?”

“Of course,” You would’ve wanted to do it anyway, but you couldn’t say no to him in this state.

Once you both crawled onto the bed, he naturally put his head on your chest. It doesn’t take long before you’ve both fully relaxed into each other’s touch. The silence is needed after nonstop stimulation from the outside world.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.” He doesn’t hesitate this time, it's saturated with adoration for you. You feel the warmth on your cheeks and respond accordingly.

“I love you too.”

He sits up, staring at you with so much love in his eyes. He kisses you just to do it, but it’s perfectly fine by you.

You swear that you could live in this moment forever. There would always be deadlines approaching, endless amounts of work waiting for you, but these moments were too precious to take for granted.

There’s so much love for him in your body that it doesn’t know where to go, but you figure that you’ll find somewhere to place it within due time.

There’s no use in grieving wasted time when his love is nestled so neatly in your heart, allowing you to indulge in the infinite futures you’re able to build together.

He’s not going anywhere, there’s still time.

There will always be time.

---

— ✩ 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆

a 95 line series inspired by my favourite songs

status: yet to start writing

general tags: fluff, angst, suggestive content, swearing.

about: in which choi seungcheol, yoon jeonghan and joshua hong fall in love with someone under three different circumstances.

- 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲 - 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶 𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗼𝗹

“i can make you hate me for everything, but i can’t make you come back to me.”

synopsis: in which you didn’t listen to the warnings and fell in love with seungcheol, without knowing that it would be your biggest mistake.

w/c: x

genre: second chance romance, idol!au, ‘it was always you’ trope

- 𝗰𝗿𝘂𝗲𝗹 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿 - 𝘆𝗼𝗼𝗻 𝗷𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗮𝗻

“and it’s new, the shape of your body, it’s blue, the feeling i’ve got and it’s a cruel summer.”

synopsis: in which you went to your honeymoon with your ex-fiancé’s older brother, yoon jeonghan.

w/c: x

genre: ex’s brother, enemies to lovers, fake marriage of some sorts, ceo!jeonghan

- 𝗴𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗼𝘂𝘀 - 𝗷𝗼𝘀𝗵𝘂𝗮 𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗴

“you’re so gorgeous i can’t say anything to your face, cause look at your face.”

synopsis: as the daughter of a big conglomerate family, you knew you were to marry someone your parents chose but you never expected that person to be joshua hong.

w/c: x

genre: arranged marriage, ceo trope, marriage of convenience

nia’s notes: im so excited for this series tbh. although i have yet to start writing, posting this list makes me so happy.

want to be added to the taglist? send me an ask!

---

8000 layers of inyun

jeonghan x reader, joshua x reader - inspired by the movie past lives - wc: 6k - warnings: mentions of alcohol, like one curse i think - a/n: reader should be completely inclusive, i.e. not adhering to the background of the main character in the movie.

[first hello]

when you met joshua for the first time, it was in the grassy backyard of a house in long island one mile away from the beach. at a rickety, white table with spots of black showing up beneath the layers of paint. it was three glasses of red wine in, two hours after you had laid eyes on him, and one hour after everyone else had headed inside for sleep. 

when you met joshua for the first time, you had told him about inyun. how even brushing by someone’s shoulder on the street or locking eyes with a stranger on the metro meant there was something there between the two of you in a past life. he looked amazed at the notion. you thought he looked quite pretty. “that would mean we had something together in a past life, wouldn’t it?” he had asked. and even then, you could tell–he’s such a writer. there was a story already rising from the dark corners of his mind. you had just nodded. and told him about all the layers between two lovers, and about the 8000 it takes to take one’s hand and whole-heartedly decide you want to marry them. 

you don’t really remember joshua’s cheeks turning pink at the line. what you do remember is the sky changing colors. you remember how golden he looked under the string lights. you remember leaning into his face, almost falling forward, bracing yourself with a hand on his knee. 

you remember kissing him for the first time. 

*****

[jeonghans coming] 

joshua is already cooking dinner by the time you come home. you stop in front of the gray door, noticing for the first time in a while the scratch in the top corner from the massive yellow armchair you stuffed through the door even when it refused to fit through. you smile at the scratch, stretch your arm out to finger over the light brown mark. how long ago was that now? was that before or after you got married? you inhale. the air smells like wet concrete and basil. joshua forgot to turn on the exhaust fan, didn’t he? 

you don’t remind him to do so once you finally find your keys. instead you slip off your old, faded sneakers, drop your keys on the counter in the lime green dish you made in a pottery class two years ago, and greet him in the kitchen, kissing the side of his chin and reaching over his head to turn the exhaust fan on. he kisses your forehead as an apology, or at least he tries but you’ve already moved and his lips end up catching on the corner of your left eye. you wash the day and the grime off you, washing away the train and the throbbing in your feet. you meet him again for dinner, at the table you call your dining table and your home office. he brings over two plates of the pasta. you bring the wine. 

“you know jeonghan.” it doesn’t hit you then that that’s the first thing you’ve said to him since you left that morning.

joshua squints. his eyes, his eyes, his eyes. they were the first thing you noticed about him. the first thing you fell in love with. “yeah. your childhood sweetheart.” this he says with a teasing smile. you smile back. his smile was the second thing you fell in love with. 

“he, uh, emailed me earlier today.” you shift in your stool. “he moved out of his parents’ house, i think, and is between jobs. he said he’s going to be visiting new york soon.” 

there’s a stillness in the air, then. a shock beneath the table that’s curling around your calves and inching up your arms.

joshua, though, despite how well you know him, despite your knack to see through every emotion he feigns, still tries to nod it off. “oh. when is he coming?”

“in two weeks. “

“that’s soon.”

“i know.”

“are you going to see him?” there’s no mask of emotion here. everything in joshua’s mind and heart you can read in his eyes, except that reading doesn’t mean understanding and five years of marriage doesn’t mean you know someone’s every thought. you don’t know what to say. you don’t know what he wants. you don’t even know what you want. all you know is jeonghan’s email. you spent two hours staring at it this afternoon. jeonghan, as you knew him, was a straightforward guy. he explicitly said in the email what he wants: to spend a day or two with you while he’s here, as much time as you can spare, show him the city you moved to when you turned 21. show him the country you moved to when you were 13. but beneath the straightforward request feels like a million subliminal ones. like he wants you to prove to him that you’ve made a life worth living here. like he wants to gallivant around new york telling you about a country that used to be home and asking you what would have happened if you didn’t go all those years ago. 

but jeonghan isn’t like you and joshua, he doesn’t make reading into subtext and writing a 100 pages about it his job. so you tell joshua what you decided on the train ride back. 

“yeah, i think i will.” and with the way your stomach twists, it feels like a confession.

*****

[first goodbye]

your first goodbye with jeonghan is when you’re young. it happens on the last day of school for you before your family’s big move to the states. even though you only found out a couple weeks ago, you knew this move was a long time coming. maybe that’s why you didn’t say anything when your parents told you it was happening. maybe that’s why you just went to your room and started packing. 

jeonghan’s been in the same class as you your whole life. his whole life too. and for your entire lives you’ve been making the same walk back home from school together. today is no different. and yet, isn’t it? it’s the same roads, yes, the same stairs and the same shops on the way. but the air is different, it smells like home. it smells like you already miss it. and you haven’t even left yet. 

the walk is almost entirely silent. 

the roads diverge towards the end, into a smaller path that leads to your home and the main road that jeonghan takes to get to his. you take one step into the path and stop. jeonghan stops too. he stares. you stare back. 

(you don’t realize it then, but it’s the last time you’ll see him in person for almost 20 years. one of the last times you’ll even speak to him in around 7. it’s the last time you’ll ever stand on this street, and one of the last times you’ll breathe this air. most importantly, it’s the last time you’ll ever be this young.)

your first goodbye with jeonghan isn’t much of a goodbye. it’s him asking when you leave. it’s you saying sometime tomorrow. it’s him frowning, patting your shoulder, and saying, “be well, and don’t cry over maths anymore.”

*****

[second hello]

you round the corner by the candy shop and walk inwards to the park. you used to live around here. but god, where haven’t you lived? you used to come into this park and watch people. the man towards the south entrance that always sat on the middle bench. the tourists walking up and down and around looking amazed and bored and helpless. tompkins square park used to be your favorite park in new york, but walking into it now, you can’t really remember why you liked it so much. you wonder why he chose this park specifically to meet in. did you mention it once on a skype call? does he think you still like it? or has he figured that you’ve already fallen out of love?

you see the back of his head before you see him. and for a moment you get an instantaneous rush of every feeling there is to feel from seeing him again, here, in a park you thought you loved. but it’s not the park and it’s not the city that makes your entire body go numb. it’s seeing him. jeonghan. jeonghan. jeonghan. it’s seeing him for the first time in–you don’t even want to admit to yourself how long. 

but the instantaneous rush ends, and your body and blood come back to earth and back to this park you hate, when he turns around and faces you facing him. 

and there are no words to be said. 

there used to be oceans and countries and cultures and decades standing between you and him, but somehow now, all of that has compressed into four squares of broken concrete. you were never very good at maths. jeonghan, the one who comforted you whenever you cried over it, knows that best. but even you know that there is no way 20 years can turn into 20 feet. so much has changed. more than could possibly be encompassed in any greeting. it’s indescribable and overwhelming. it’s you and him and the whole world. there are no words to be said. 

so you hug him instead. 

*****

[ferry]

it takes almost a full hour for the pure shock of seeing each other again to wear off. there’s so much joy and excitement between the two of you that for a couple minutes all you do is say ‘wow’, throwing the word back and forth like two kids playing catch. 

the first thing on your itinerary was already decided by jeonghan over email: seeing the statue of liberty. so, you and him board the ferry together, asking how his family’s doing and telling him about yours. 

“your husband,” jeonghan starts, turning slightly towards you in his seat on the ferry.

“joshua.” 

he nods, mouthing his name silently. “how did you guys meet?”

“we met at this writer's retreat thing. we were kind of… i don’t know–together–i guess, while we were there, and funnily enough, it was only on our second to last day there that we realized we both live in new york. and then, it was only when we got back that we started dating.”

jeonghan’s lips make a small ‘o’. “he’s a writer too?”

you nod. then smile.

“is he good?” this he asks with a hint of mischief. 

you scoff. “you think i’d marry someone who isn’t any good?” 

he just shrugs and smirks. an action you’ve seen him do a million times before. when you were a kid, it pissed you off. when you were 21, it made your heart flutter. now, it makes you feel like a stranger. it reminds you that all he is is somebody you used to know. 

“what?” he laughs, covering his mouth embarrassedly. you didn’t even realize you were staring. 

“you’ve just been a kid in my head for so long.” you shake your head, a smile haunting your lips. “it’s so weird seeing you all grown up.” 

he hums. “i feel that too.”

“are you and-” you leave the space blank there. social media had told you a lot, but you don’t remember it ever telling you a name, “still together.”

he grimaces. you wish you didn’t ask. “no. we broke up some time ago.”

jeonghan doesn’t say anything more about it, but honestly, it’d be more shocking if he did. even as a kid, he took things at face value, not going any deeper into contexts and double meanings. he isn’t too shy to ask what you mean, nor is he too shy to say it. that’s just who he is. 

“do you have pictures from your wedding?” jeonghan asks, pulling you out of your thoughts. you fetch your phone out of your pocket and show him your favorite picture from the event. you and joshua didn’t really have much money at the time of your wedding. it was a small, courthouse wedding with a dinner afterwards with just your families. the picture comes from when you were walking out of the courthouse together. with the small bouquet, joshua had purchased that morning, and the simple white dress you had thrifted a couple weeks prior. you were so happy, walking out of that building hand in hand. you were so hopeful. 

“you look very nice.” jeonghan tells you quietly, staring at the photo. you mutter a ‘thanks’. he then surprises you, bringing a hand up to the picture and wordlessly zooming in on your face. his gaze bounces between you and your picture. finally, looking up, he says, “you look so young.”

*****

the ferry stops for a bit near the statue, everyone rushes towards the corner nearest to the monument to take a photo. you offer to take his. he accepts, awkwardly smiling at first, fidgeting with the strap of his backpack, but then eventually, lightening up, posing cutely and requesting different angles. 

while the ferry heads back to manhattan, he carefully examines all the photos you took. it reminds you of when he told you about his photographer friend in college who took photos of him for fun. 

“why didn’t you want to keep talking then?” you ask abruptly. 

somehow, he knows exactly what you’re talking about. your second goodbye with him. the four minute skype call. 

he looks taken aback. he doesn’t look at you. “it didn’t really feel like you were giving me much of a choice.”

it’s not what you wanted to hear, but you don’t really think there’s anything he could’ve said to mend a ten year old wound born from a petty 21 year old desperate to love and be loved. 

“i held that over you for a long time. i was a bit mad.”

he responds immediately. “you said goodbye so quickly. i was a bit mad too.”

you frown. “should i be sorry?”

he half laughs at that, shrugging and finally looking at you. “we were kids.” 

and of course, that was all that really needed to be said. 

*****

[second goodbye]

your second goodbye with jeonghan happened when you just moved to new york. it was a short period of time marked by running between 10th and 14th to catch your train and eating too many meals at the ukrainian place in the basement of 7th. 

the two of you had found each other again online. a friend request turned to messaging turned to skype calls every evening and sometimes even in the morning. and somehow, someway, despite the years between your last words with him, the two of you were able to pick up right where you left off. he told you about home and about all the classmates you hadn’t thought about since you left. you told him about america, about your new life, and about new york. but mainly you talked about how weird it was to see and talk to him again and about how alone you felt here.

the goodbye comes when your laptop crashes and it takes a week before you’re able to talk to him again. it comes after you spend the week devastated, crying in the middle of the street over a dropped bacon egg and cheese. it comes when your laptop is finally fixed, when you call him again, and when he doesn’t even seem worried. 

“do you plan on coming to new york?” it's the first thing you say when he answers the call, two days after your laptop was fixed. 

he looks like he just woke up, hair crumpled and bent in places it shouldn’t be. between a yawn he says, “what?” 

“i can’t leave new york right now. so if you don’t plan on coming here, there’s no point of this anymore.” 

he doesn’t say anything for a moment, looking off to the side of his camera. you stare into it. you had been practicing this conversation all day. you knew what you were going to say. and in your heart, you knew what he was going to say too. 

all he ends up doing is smiling awkwardly and patting down the back of his head. “do you want me to visit?” 

no, you think with a sigh, you just want more. 

“i think we should end this. i need to focus on becoming a writer, and you-“ 

you falter here. he what? 

he nods. you nod too, just as an excuse. 

“okay.” 

“okay.” 

and the call ends in 4 minutes. 

*****

[first confession] 

the bar you’ve chosen to take him to tonight, is a small, irish pub on the corner of a street you spent half your 20s in. you feel so much older than you are, when you get off the subway, point to an old red brick building, and tell jeonghan that you used to go to school here. 

his gaze lingers at that building. you try not to notice, but you do. 

“remember inyun?” he says after you get your drinks. his martini, your beer. 

you laugh at him. “it’s actually how i got joshua.” a memory flashes in front of you: the golden glow of the string lights and joshua’s lips on yours for the first time. you can’t tell if it's the beer or the memory that makes your entire body flush with warmth. 

“that game we used to play as kids,” jeonghan says, excited, “we should do that here.” 

you smile. how many days did you and jeonghan spend sitting next to each other on the train and making up a past life for every two passengers?

“okay.” you point to the two girls sitting at the bar, one of them on their phone, the other resting her head atop the counter. “what about them?” 

jeonghan turns to face them. “classmates.”

you make a noise of disapprovement. “sisters.”

he mimics the noise. “no way.”

“look.” you say, gesturing to the way the girl that was on her phone places her free hand on top of the other’s head. “it’s just so…” here you lose the words for it. the girl on her phone bends down and places the smallest kiss on her friend’s head. 

“familiar.” jeonghan finishes. and when your gaze falls back to him, you find that he’s already looking at you. the game somehow feels different than it did when you were kids. 

jeonghan inhales sharply and nods his head towards a boy and a girl playing billiards in the corner. “what about them?”

you take a moment to observe them. these two seem less familiar with each other. there’s a lot of extra laughing, a lot of awkward pauses between turns. “coworkers.” you finally say.

“strangers.” jeonghan counters. “like she took his order at a food place that he left a bad review for.”

you give him a look. he shrugs. 

the game continues. you do the two bartenders which you both agree must have been lovers. you do the group of boys, in business casual sitting two tables over. jeonghan says they were all dogs in the same shelter. you say they were in a band together. 

the game continues until the only two people in the pub who you haven’t made up a past life for are you and jeonghan.

jeonghan gives you a half smile. “what do you think we were in a past life?”

this was always how you and him ended the game. you wonder how many past lives the two of you have created for each other by now.

you think for a moment, eyes flicking between the bartenders who were lovers and the friends who were once family. “two people squished next to each other on the train.”

jeonghan laughs at that one, knocking his head back and accidentally kicking your leg under the table. he shakes his head. “a bird and the branch it sits on.”

“a keychain and the ring it’s attached to.”

“a celebrity and their bodyguard.”

“enemies.”

“friends.” 

something snags on your throat at that. 

you laugh, not meaning for it to sound as forced as it does. “but we’re that now.” 

a silent question hangs in the air: are we?

“why’d you come to new york?” you ask him. you already said your goodbye to him. years ago, on a skype call that felt akin to a breakup. seeing him and facing him again was not something you had expected to ever have to do. and the thing is, it’s not just facing him. it’s facing your past, and it’s facing all the different ways he’s known you. 

jeonghan doesn’t seem surprised that you asked, but his eyes do this…thing as he looks up from the glass. this fearless, shameless thing that makes you feel things you wish you didn’t feel. “i came to see you.” 

you don’t take your eyes off his. what is it they say about eyes again? windows to the soul?

“but you and joshua.”

you flinch. 

“you guys have those layers of inyun.”

“all 8000,” you whisper back to him, like the world might burst if you spoke any louder.

he nods solemnly, hopefully. “maybe you guys have even more.”

he looks at the bar. the warm light paints him in colors you’ve never seen him in before. he’s so much older than you remember. he’s so much more real than your last skype call. 

(your memory of this moment fails you. you can’t remember which one of you it was that asked)

“how many layers do we have?”

a number hangs off the tip of your tongue. but the world will burst if you say it outloud. so you don’t. for the world, for yourself, for joshua. 

*****

[you were right]

“you were right,” you tell joshua when you come home that night.

“about what?” he meets you in the kitchen, exhaust fan whirring in the background. 

“he came to see me.” 

and even just the admission of it, of the entire day you spent with jeonghan, has you exhausted. 

you hug joshua. he sets the book that was in his hand down on the counter and lets you. he feels so warm next to your heart. he feels so at home. and you, in your apartment, in his arms, feel split in two. 

carefully, you ask him: “are you mad at me?”

“of course not.”

“do you want me to cancel tomorrow?”

“you haven’t seen him in forever. you should go.”

you exhale into his shoulder. 

“i mean, it’s not like you’re going to run away with him or anything, right?” he jokes. 

“please,” you scoff, “you know me.” 

“i know you.” he laughs, and you feel it throughout your entire body.

“i know you.” he repeats. 

you hug him tighter. 

“you’re it for me.” joshua tells you quietly. “you make my life so much bigger.”

you can’t tell if it’s the confession or the exhaustion or both that brings you close to tears. “what if something happens?”

he doesn’t ask what you mean; he just repeats himself. “it’s only you.”

*****

[not touching but almost]

you meet jeonghan the next morning at the hoyt-schermorhorn street station. he asks how you slept. you say well. 

you stand in front of the sliding doors, holding onto the pole. he follows suit, his hand right under yours. staring at his face, you search for which features of his have stayed the same and which have changed. 

“your eyes.” you say at the same moment the train screeches. he leans forward, mostly to hear you better but also to stay upright as the train sways. his fingers inch towards yours. “your eyes are still the same.” 

he looks embarrassed for a moment. then smiles. you do too. 

the train stops. the signs outside read: ‘fulton st’. 

you look back at him. “i can’t stop smiling.” fuck the train, you’ll repeat it until he hears what you have to say. 

he doesn’t ask you to repeat yourself this time. he just laughs. “why?”

you shrug, smiling again, and feeling entirely, wholly like a kid. “just ‘cause.”

his fingers inch towards yours again. you don’t even think he means for it to. you look down at your hands. close but not touching. not touching but almost. 

the train stops again. ‘chambers st,’ it reads this time. you both get off.

*****

[a whole part of you i’ll never know]

there’s this memory that bounces around your head from time to time. it was before you and joshua had gotten married, in your old apartment, the one in hell’s kitchen above the thai place with the light up dragon that played pop music late into the night. 

so with an old miley cyrus song floating up through the air and in through the open window, joshua tells you that there’s a whole part of you he’ll never know. 

you don’t deny it at first. you turn in bed to face him, cup his cheek in your hand and flinch at the stubble growing in. you kiss him and tell him, “you know me better than anyone.” 

“but i-” he hesitates here, mouth opening and closing like he can’t decide what kind of conversation he wants this to be. “it’s like there’s this whole portion of your brain that will always be out of reach. like i can see it there in the distance, but i can’t get to it.” 

“just ask. i’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

“it’s not that.”

“what is it then?”

“he knows that part.”

the song goes quiet. you can hear a drunk person vomiting. you can hear your heart beating. breathlessly, you say, “jeonghan?” 

and joshua, joshua, joshua. he looks like he regrets it. “you, just, you always talk about how you reinvented yourself when you moved to new york and how different you used to be. but what if that wasn’t the first time?”

you shake your head. “i’m not a kid anymore.” 

“i know.” and against all odds, joshua smiles. “sometimes, i just wish i knew you when you were.”

*****

[second confession] 

the day, in all honesty, is some of the most fun you’ve had in a long while. you and jeonghan get dumplings and rice noodles in chinatown and eat them in columbus park while watching people play ping pong. he wants to go shopping in soho and so you take him to your favorite spots. you wait with him in line at the famous bakery on lafayette only for him to hate the pastry he got. and in the evening, you and jeonghan meet up with joshua to get dinner near your apartment. 

“so how do you like new york,” joshua asks while walking to the restaurant. 

jeonghan nods slowly. “not bad.”

your husband’s eyes widen. he was born and raised in new york. it’s the only place he’s ever known. “not bad?”

jeonghan shrugs. “it’s a little smelly.”

joshua just chuckles at that. “you get used to it. what have you seen so far?”

“yesterday i saw the rockefeller center, times square, and central park. and then,” jeonghan looks at you, “we met in tompkins square park, and we took the ferry to see the statue of liberty.”

“you know i’ve never actually been to the statue of liberty.” joshua confesses, lightheartedly. 

“really?” jeonghan asks dumbfounded.

“really?” you mutter to the ground. 

joshua shoves his hands in his pockets and nods. 

jeonghan looks at you, disappointed, and jokingly says, “what are you doing? you should take your husband to see it.” 

jeonghan doesn’t really wait for a response, but you still give him a half-hearted laugh before putting a hand on joshua’s elbow, and quietly, almost shamefully asking, “have we really not gone?”

the conversation has moved on without you it seems. while laughing at something else jeonghan’s said, joshua shakes his head ‘no’.

the rest of the dinner goes well. the food is good, and the conversation flows. joshua heads back home once it’s over to get work done, and you and jeonghan go to your favorite bar in the area, a posh sort of place with dim lighting and fancy cocktails. the two of you grab seats at the bar.

“what’d you think of joshua?” 

jeonghan looks happy, a smile gracing his face for a moment. he tilts his head, and you almost miss the way his smile turns down. “i didn’t think liking your husband would hurt this much.” (almost). “i can tell he really loves you.”

“i love him too.” you say, just to fill the space. but what you really want is to beg him to take it back. beg him to say something else. anything else. say he hated him instead. 

“yesterday, you asked me why i didn’t try to keep talking back then.” jeonghan continues. “the truth i learned here is that it wouldn’t have mattered how hard i tried even if i did. you were always going to leave because you’re you. and i liked you because you’re you. and who you are is someone who leaves.”

you start to refute, but stop yourself because… he’s right. the last two times you parted ways with him, it was because of you. you started the goodbye. you were the one who left. 

“but for joshua,” jeonghan says, eyes scanning across the bar, staring at every bartender and every customer before finally, finally, landing on you, “you’re someone who stays.”

and it turns you inside out. 

“i’m sorry if i hurt you in the past, jeonghan.”

jeonghan doesn’t falter. he never has. “i’m not.”

*****

[last confession, last goodbye, last hello]

you walk jeonghan to the uber from your apartment. the address has always been a little finicky; the uber will only stop two blocks down. the long ones. not that that matters much. nonetheless, you and jeonghan walk it slowly, pausing for a couple seconds each time the wheels of his suitcase get caught on a cellar door. 

“thank you for emailing me.” you tell him, lifting your chin up slightly. “i’m really glad that you did and we got to do this.

he nods. “i’m glad i did too, but i was actually a little unsure about it.” 

this surprises you. the sentiment yes, but also the way he says it. tucking his hair behind his ear, and squinting his eyes at a stop light, refusing to meet yours. jeonghan is the surest person you’ve ever known. 

something catches in the back of your throat. something foul and hopeful. something that makes you feel young. “why?’ 

he shrugs, looks up at the second deli you’ve passed and mouths the name of it. like he’s practicing it, memorizing the name, the location, the guy sitting out front, and the cat that always lingers in the back. why does he care so much about the little things? 

“i didn’t know if you’d want to see me again.” he finally says. “the last time we spoke was so long ago. i wasn’t sure if you had left me in the past for good.” 

you hit the end of the second block where the uber will be picking him up soon, right under the ice pop shop that you always walk a little slower by on the hottest summer afternoons. across the block the walking signal is red–a memory comes back to you: your first summer in this new apartment, your first month being married too. you standing on this side of the block and joshua standing at the other. waiting for the cars to pass, waiting to greet each other in the middle of the road. you can feel that day in the bottom of your stomach. you remember exactly what joshua's hand felt like in yours. 

“i think i did.” you tell him. “but i don’t regret doing this with you. it was like meeting you again, and meeting the version of myself that last saw you too.” 

you turn away from the signal and look at him. he looks sad almost. “sometimes i still think of you as that kid i used to walk home from school with.” 

you remember what you used to tell joshua: how you reinvented yourself when you moved to new york. you remember what he used to say back: what if that wasn’t the first time. and so, you reach into your past and try to remember who you used to be before you moved to america. 

“i haven’t been that kid for a long time now,” you frown, watching jeonghan’s pupils dart back and forth between yours, “but they still existed. they were still real.”

the uber pulls up. jeonghan puts his suitcase in the trunk and opens the door to step inside. and with one foot in the car to the airport and one foot planted on the street you call home, he says, “what if this is just another past life and we’re already something else in another?”

the only thing you can manage to give him in response is a nod. you don’t like to think about what if.

he smiles. and you feel something break apart in your heart.

“i’ll see you then.”

in another life, jeonghan is more than just a series of goodbyes. but in this one, he gets in the uber, and you don’t imagine seeing him again. you don’t think you will. because for the first time in this life, you're not the one that left–he was.  

you make it halfway back down the two blocks back to your apartment when you see joshua. it just so happens to be in front of the deli jeonghan had committed to memory silently beside you. you inhale deeply; it feels like the first breath you’ve taken since jeonghan landed in new york. joshua is 8 stoops away from you. 

at 5 you think about when you met, the writers retreat in long island, the most beautiful serene place you swear you’ve ever been and the stupid pick up line you said about inyun.

at 4, you think about his eyes, his eyes, his eyes, and the line he wrote about them in an essay that was published 3 years ago saying that they're the only part of the nervous system that's exposed, a direct line to someone's head and heart. was he right? did you look into jeonghan’s mind tonight? have you been staring at joshua's heart? 

at 3, you think about all this talk about past lives. and you think what if it’s not about your past lives with jeonghan or with joshua? what if it’s about all the past lives within you? 

at 2, you think about the kid you left in a country that doesn’t feel like yours anymore. 

and at 1, you think about jeonghan. 

he stops right in front of you. staring at you staring at him. your whole world feels bigger than it ever has before, and your heart, in response, splits in half to fit him inside. you feel that something in your throat rise and boil. 

“i’m sorry,” you finally say, before falling into his arms. the sob that’s been waiting in the bottom of your soul for the past 20 years comes bursting out of your throat. you cry into your husband's shoulder. you feel the weight of all your past lives and all your future ones like they aren't in the past or in the future, like they're now beside you begging you to imagine what could’ve been and what was. 

joshua holds the back of your head. he doesn’t say anything. he doesn’t need to. it’s all been said before. instead he kisses the corner of your eye and takes you home.  ****************************

a/n: absolutely adored this film and it simply has not left my mind since i watched it over a month ago. and so, i did what i do best and wrote a fic based on it lol. i hope i scraped even half of the complexity the movie has. if you've seen the movie, i'd love to hear your thoughts about it or your thoughts on this piece. as well as if you haven't seen the movie! but if you haven't seen the movie, i highly recommend you give it a watch. it's such a quiet, gentle film that will crawl into your heart and claim it as home.

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city lights series | joshua hong (M) [ongoing]

Joshua Hong could be many things. For one, he is your next door neighbour. He is a rockstar, a relentless tease, a menace. But, ironically, he is always willing to lend a hand whenever you need it, regardless of the nature of your desires.

✮ pairings: joshua hong x afab!reader ✮ genre: smut [mdni you'll get blocked] ✮ aus: rocksinger!joshua, neighbours with benefits ✮ word count: 39.6k

navigation post part i | insomnia The last bit of sanity in your mind vanished the moment before you asked your hot neighbour to be your fuck buddy. Whatever prompted you to muster the courage to get the words out was something you didn't know you had inside you. But he wasn't saying no.

part ii | reverie Joshua Hong was many things aside from your hot neighbour—he was a menace, a relentless tease. But most importantly, he was the first guy to ever make you feel wanted. And you were yet to know how dangerous that was.

part iii | pillow talk Deep down, you knew you were growing an attachment to... whatever this was. Joshua was not intoxicating, you were wrong about that, he was addictive.

part iv | coming soon

I'll keep this post updated! (❁´◡`❁) JOIN MY TAGLIST

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Birds of a Feather (teaser)

pairing; joshua hong x f reader

genre; smut (minors dni), fluff, crack

warnings; university au, alcohol, drug use (marijuana), food/drink, betting, bad jokes, borrowed memes, simp!joshua, jealousy/possessive nature, irresponsible use of a hot tub and a friend's personal space, slight dom!joshua, mild dom/sub dynamics, pet names, sex health/birth control talk, unprotected sex, breast play, pinning/man handling, dirty talk, oral (m & f receiving/giving), 69, scratching, crying, size kink implied, exhibition kink implied -- as always I'm sure there is something I've left out.

w/c; 14.3k (800 and some change -- this teaser)

a/n; first of all thank you so so much to my dear @onlyhuis for proofreading this and thank you for literally being the reason it exists. this is based on a true story -- names have been changed for privacy and it's not completely true but bird kid should find a new place to live. also without june, @highvern, @shuadotcom, and @horanghater just know this fic would have sucked majorly. thank you so much for helping me figure out my shit and adding so much to this.

this fic will be released sunday 3/17 at 3 pm est to read it now subscribe to my patreon and click here

Joshua rubs the sleep out of his eyes as he leans his forearm against his door, looking down at the cute girl standing in his dorm room. You were holding a clipboard and had a look somewhere between serious and annoyed on your face. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.” 

You hadn’t had the chance to meet every single resident in your hall but today you were making some very interesting discoveries. For example, apparently Eros lived just five doors down and he slept in late. Clearing your throat, you look down at your clipboard in an attempt to hide how shy his gaze is making you feel. 

“I’m Y/N; would you sign my petition to evict the bird kid? I know that sounds harsh but just to get him to, like, get his own place off campus with his bird.” 

His lips pulling up into a small grin, Joshua watches you start to ramble about your cause as you tap your pen against the paper attached to the clipboard. It seems you have several signatures so far. He had heard about this bird kid and he had also heard the bird in question several times. 

“Sure, I’ll sign it. Anything to get him to stop letting the damn thing use the water fountain as a bird bath.” 

Joshua watches as your eyes lift towards him again as he agrees with you. With the clipboard securely in his hands, you scoff in agreement, lifting your hands to express how important your argument was. 

“Right?! It’s gross. I drink out of that fountain. I mean, I used to...“

Nodding, Joshua signs his name and offers you back the clipboard before resting his shoulder on his door frame. You watch his smile pull to one side before he furrows his brows and gestures over his shoulder. 

“My roommate is still passed the fuck out but I’m sure he will sign too. Swing back by later and catch him when he’s actually breathing.” 

Pulling the clipboard to your chest, you press your lips together, trying to keep your eyes on the man’s face even as you feel them being drawn to where his t-shirt was straining around his bicep. Clearing your throat, you lean back a bit and glance down at his name, whispering it to yourself before nodding and daring to look back up to find Joshua still watching you.

“Okay… I’ll do that, Joshua.” 

Turning towards the next door, you pull your eyes from his handsome face even as Joshua leans out of his doorway to watch you, lifting his hand to wave. 

“Good luck with your petition, Y/N. See you later.” 

Groaning into his drool soaked pillow, Lee Chan forces himself to turn over and look towards his roommate, who was standing in the doorframe watching the hallway. He liked Joshua; if anything, the man was more like a brother than a roommate at this point but he was talking far too loudly for a Saturday morning. 

“That has to be a girl if you are acting like a simp this early.” 

Rolling his eyes, Joshua shuts the door behind him, turning towards the younger man and shooting him a look before reaching for one of the bottles of water and tossing it towards him. Despite usually having great eye to hand coordination, Chan hisses in pain when the bottle manages to meet his chest instead of in his hands. 

“And? Your point? Drink your water; I’m sure you have one hell of a headache.” 

Chan wasn’t going to argue with Joshua on that point. He did have a headache that could rival all other headaches. He couldn’t remember much of the night after their friend Seungcheol had shown him where the punch bowl was and challenged him to a “drink off.”

Reaching for the pain medicine on his nightstand, Chan groans, trying to open the bottle as Joshua watches, only to sigh and take it from his hands, doing it for him. Muttering a thanks, Chan takes the bottle back, leaning back onto his bed to take the medicine, looking up at the ceiling. 

“Who was the girl?” 

Pursing his lips, Joshua falls back on his bed, trying to hide the small smile on his lips, thinking about the short interaction with you and how cute you had been. It wasn’t like anything had even happened or that there would be anything that would come from it but it was nice meeting a new neighbor so to speak. 

“Uh, she said her name was Y/N. She’ll be back around later. Told her you’d sign her petition.” 

Chan’s brows furrow at Joshua’s words as he lifts his hand to wipe at his mouth, water starting to run down towards his chin. 

“What? Why would I do that?” 

“Because it’s not that big of a deal and you’ll agree with it. It’s about that dude who has a bird. Something about getting him to move off campus with it.” 

Making a face at the mention of the bird, Chan feels his headache behind his eyes, even thinking about the squawking that could be heard late at night and early in the mornings. 

“You’re right. I’ll fucking sign it. I’ll forge names. I’ll help the son of a bitch move.” 

READ THE FULL FIC NOW ON PATREON

© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed

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Birds of a Feather

pairing; joshua hong x f reader

genre; smut (minors dni), fluff, crack

summary; You and Shua work together on a petition to get rid of the bird kid and then you fall in love.

warnings; university au, alcohol, drug use (marijuana), food/drink, betting, bad jokes, borrowed memes, simp!joshua, jealousy/possessive nature, irresponsible use of a hot tub and a friend’s personal space, slight dom!joshua, mild dom/sub dynamics, pet names, sex health/birth control talk, unprotected sex, breast play, pinning/man handling, dirty talk, oral (m & f receiving/giving), 69, scratching, crying, size kink implied, exhibition kink implied – as always I’m sure there is something I’ve left out.

w/c; 14.3k and some change

a/n; first of all thank you so so much to my dear @onlyhuis for proofreading this and thank you for literally being the reason it exists. this is based on a true story – names have been changed for privacy and it’s not completely true but bird kid should find a new place to live. thank you to @wonwussy for helping me come up with an amazing title, also without june, @highvern, @shuadotcom, and @horanghater just know this fic would have sucked majorly. thank you so much for helping me figure out my shit and adding so much to this.

before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here

Joshua rubs the sleep out of his eyes as he leans his forearm against his door, looking down at the cute girl standing in his dorm room. You were holding a clipboard and had a look somewhere between serious and annoyed on your face.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.”

You hadn’t had the chance to meet every single resident in your hall but today you were making some very interesting discoveries. For example, apparently Eros lived just five doors down and he slept in late. Clearing your throat, you look down at your clipboard in an attempt to hide how shy his gaze is making you feel.

“I’m Y/N; would you sign my petition to evict the bird kid? I know that sounds harsh but just to get him to, like, get his own place off campus with his bird.”

His lips pulling up into a small grin, Joshua watches you start to ramble about your cause as you tap your pen against the paper attached to the clipboard. It seems you have several signatures so far. He had heard about this bird kid and he had also heard the bird in question several times.

“Sure, I’ll sign it. Anything to get him to stop letting the damn thing use the water fountain as a bird bath.”

Joshua watches as your eyes lift towards him again as he agrees with you. With the clipboard securely in his hands, you scoff in agreement, lifting your hands to express how important your argument was.

“Right?! It’s gross. I drink out of that fountain. I mean, I used to...“

Nodding, Joshua signs his name and offers you back the clipboard before resting his shoulder on his door frame. You watch his smile pull to one side before he furrows his brows and gestures over his shoulder.

“My roommate is still passed the fuck out but I’m sure he will sign too. Swing back by later and catch him when he’s actually breathing.”

Pulling the clipboard to your chest, you press your lips together, trying to keep your eyes on the man’s face even as you feel them being drawn to where his t-shirt was straining around his bicep. Clearing your throat, you lean back a bit and glance down at his name, whispering it to yourself before nodding and daring to look back up to find Joshua still watching you.

“Okay… I’ll do that, Joshua.”

Turning towards the next door, you pull your eyes from his handsome face even as Joshua leans out of his doorway to watch you, lifting his hand to wave.

“Good luck with your petition, Y/N. See you later.”

Groaning into his drool soaked pillow, Lee Chan forces himself to turn over and look towards his roommate, who was standing in the doorframe watching the hallway. He liked Joshua; if anything, the man was more like a brother than a roommate at this point but he was talking far too loudly for a Saturday morning.

“That has to be a girl if you are acting like a simp this early.”

Rolling his eyes, Joshua shuts the door behind him, turning towards the younger man and shooting him a look before reaching for one of the bottles of water and tossing it towards him. Despite usually having great eye to hand coordination, Chan hisses in pain when the bottle manages to meet his chest instead of in his hands.

“And? Your point? Drink your water; I’m sure you have one hell of a headache.”

Chan wasn’t going to argue with Joshua on that point. He did have a headache that could rival all other headaches. He couldn’t remember much of the night after their friend Seungcheol had shown him where the punch bowl was and challenged him to a “drink off.”

Reaching for the pain medicine on his nightstand, Chan groans, trying to open the bottle as Joshua watches, only to sigh and take it from his hands, doing it for him. Muttering a thanks, Chan takes the bottle back, leaning back onto his bed to take the medicine, looking up at the ceiling.

“Who was the girl?”

Pursing his lips, Joshua falls back on his bed, trying to hide the small smile on his lips, thinking about the short interaction with you and how cute you had been. It wasn’t like anything had even happened or that there would be anything that would come from it but it was nice meeting a new neighbor so to speak.

“Uh, she said her name was Y/N. She’ll be back around later. Told her you’d sign her petition.”

Chan’s brows furrow at Joshua’s words as he lifts his hand to wipe at his mouth, water starting to run down towards his chin.

“What? Why would I do that?”

“Because it’s not that big of a deal and you’ll agree with it. It’s about that dude who has a bird. Something about getting him to move off campus with it.”

Making a face at the mention of the bird, Chan feels his headache behind his eyes, even thinking about the squawking that could be heard late at night and early in the mornings.

“You’re right. I’ll fucking sign it. I’ll forge names. I’ll help the son of a bitch move.”

Taking back your clipboard once more, you smile at the girl who doesn’t seem to know when to stop talking. You were happy she agreed with your cause but you didn’t need to know every other complaint she had filed over the past month with Seungkwan, the RA.

“Totally, I get it.” Gesturing with your thumb over your shoulder, you offer her one last tired smile, “I’m gonna head back the other way, I have a couple of places I need to get on the way back to my room.”

“Yeah, sure. Oh, Y/N! When you talk to Seungkwan, you know when you file the petition... mention the water pressure again.”

Groaning under your breath, you just give her a thumbs up, hearing her yell bye at your back as you scurry off in the opposite direction. The more distance you put between her and you, the air feels lighter until you look back at your clipboard and read Joshua’s name, seeing your little star next to his name.

You weren’t sure why this man was making you so nervous – besides his good looks – but as you stood in front of his room, reading over the whiteboard attached to it, you blew out a breath. The messages on their board were cute, some funny, but for the most part, you could tell they were from friends.

I fuckin won last night you owe me dinner - Cheol

rescheduled studio for tuesday - jihoon (don’t call me and bitch)

Lifting your hand, you knock on the door next to a worn sticker of a tiger that someone had tried to peel off but failed at doing so. You swallow hard, running your thumbnail along the pad of your index finger as you wait, beginning to think that he or his roommate were out until you hear hushed voices and the sound of a thump like something hitting the floor.

Joshua throws one last look at Chan, who rubs the back of his head from the floor next to this bed, muttering an ow, before the younger man pushes himself back to his feet. He hadn’t said anything he thought was all that bad, just that Joshua looked like an excited puppy hearing a knock at the door. He hadn’t been wrong; Joshua had jumped up and started towards the door, only to stop looking panicked and check his hair in the mirror on the back of the door before Chan had spoken up.

Opening the door, Joshua takes a breath before licking his lips and smiling at you as if nothing had happened at all. Your eyes move past him to the other man, who grumbles, rubbing his ass as he finally gets back on his feet and looks towards the door to meet your eyes for the first time.

“Hey, is this a bad time? I can come back tomorrow or something.”

Stepping back and to the side, Joshua shakes his head as Chan’s eyes widen, finally getting a good look at you. It was starting to make sense—Joshua's reaction to you. If he had seen you first, he might be in the same predicament, but there was a bro code, and he was a good friend.

“Not at all, right, Chan?”

Hearing his name, Chan moves forward and gestures to you inside the room, quickly moving one of his shirts off the desk chair so you could take it if you wanted it.

“Nope, all good with me. Shua said you’d be back, about the bird dude, right?”

Slowly walking into the room, you look around before looking down at the chair that had been cleaned off for you. It hadn’t been your plan to come in and sit down but you weren’t going to say no when your feet were aching after walking up and down the hall for hours.

“Uh, yeah, thanks.”

Joshua watches you move to the seat, his eyes never leaving yours even as you close yours for a moment to relish in the feeling of the pressure being taken off your back and legs as you sit down. His eyes finally move to the clipboard in your lap as he moves forward, causing you to open your eyes to look up at him.

“Looks like you did well today. Can I see it?”

Humming out a response, you lift the clipboard towards Joshua, letting him take it from you along with your pen so he can turn back towards Chan, offering it to him. With the petition out of the way and Chan occupied with something else, Joshua grins, turning his attention back to you. His eyes move over your face and down the length of your body quickly as he tries not to make it entirely obvious.

“I tried; it was tiring. I’ll try to hit the other floors over the next couple days before I take it to Seungkwan.”

Nodding, Joshua purses his lips, gesturing his hands out towards you, causing you to look up at him as he does.

“We are pretty good friends with Seungkwan. Might save you a little time. I’m not saying to cheat the system but I can tell you are exhausted. I could also help you, you know, with the other floors.. Have some friends who live in those dorms.”

You weren’t sure why Joshua was willing to help you but you weren’t feeling like turning him down, even as Chan scoffed into a laugh while finishing filling out the petition. Glancing over his shoulder, Joshua turns only to jerk the clipboard from the other man’s hands, letting the two share a quick look before he smiles at you again, offering it to you much kinder.

“What do you think?”

Biting at your bottom lip, you glance towards Chan, watching him turn away from what was happening in front of him. Tapping your fingers on the clipboard in your lap, you smile and look away, feeling suddenly shy under Joshua’s gaze once again. His playful laugh is the only thing you can hear over the blood rushing to your head as your cheeks and ears go warm.

“Yeah, that’d be great. I can give you my number so we can coordinate where to meet and stuff.”

Rolling his eyes, Chan groans at the puppy love display in the same room as him. Sliding past Joshua, the younger man mutters a bye to you as you watch him slip out the door, leaving you alone with Joshua, whose smile just grows.

“Awesome, yeah. Don’t worry about Chan. He’s dramatic.”

Eyes still following Joshua, you watch him pick up his phone from his nightstand, returning to offer it to you. You can only shake your head, a small laugh slipping from your lips as you tap on his phone icon and add a contact for yourself after making a mental note of his artsy blue wallpaper on his phone.

“He’s okay. I mean… I don’t know what he was being dramatic about but I’ll get out of his hair so he can come back and chill.” Smiling up at Joshua, you offer him back his phone and say, “I like your wallpaper, it’s pretty.”

You’re pretty, is the first thing Joshua thinks of but he just smiles back at you, taking his phone and biting at his bottom lip.

“Thanks. Uh, he’s fine, really. Don’t have to worry about him, he’s a big boy. Just not used to seeing pretty girls in his dorm room, especially ones he’s not allowed to flirt with.”

You had started to take a breath so when Joshua speaks and says that you swallowed the breath, it gets stuck in your throat. Leaning forward, you cough, lifting your hand when he steps forward, asking if you are okay. Furrowing his brows, Joshua moves to take out a water bottle, opening the lid before squatting down in front of the chair and offering it to you.

“You sure you’re okay?”

Nodding, you take the water, taking a sip as Joshua watches you carefully. You were fine but you felt like an idiot. Your face was on fire from the coughing fit and embarrassment. How were you going to explain that you had just choked on air?

“No rush…  Take it easy. Another sip of the water.”

Lifting his hand, Joshua pushes your hair back, getting a good look at you and checking to make sure you were actually going to be okay. He could tell you were flustered and obviously embarrassed but there was nothing, in his opinion, that you needed to be embarrassed about.

“I’m alright. It’s stupid… I just tried to take a breath and it didn’t go well for me.”

You watch as Joshua smiles at you, his eyes kind and understanding despite the awkward situation. Dropping his hand to his knee, Joshua bites at his bottom lip once again as he tilts his head, studying you before nodding.

“Been there before. Feeling a bit better?”

Sitting back, you nod, taking another sip of the water as Joshua offers you the lid, letting you put it back on the bottle.

“Yeah, I’m good now. Fuck…I’m really great at first impressions.”

Standing up to let you do the same, Joshua takes in a sharp breath, watching you move towards his door. He knew he had just met you but he already didn’t want to let you go. He wanted to get to know you more and he wasn’t sure if just helping you with the petition was going to be enough.

“I, for one, am thoroughly impressed. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Turning back to Joshua, you smile, letting him pull the door open, leaning his shoulder against it much like he had earlier in the day. You were staring at him again, letting your eyes move from his face, studying his lips, and moving down to his chest and over to his arms.

“Yeah, uh… I’ll text you in the morning. Have a good night, Joshua.”

Leaning his head back against the door, Joshua grins to himself, having known you were checking him out just as much as he had been doing the same to you. Maybe he had a shot at this.

“You too, Y/N.”

Y/N: I know it’s early but I was hoping to get started on the petition in about 30 mins on the second floor. You still wanna help?

The ding of his cellphone caused Joshua to groan before he reached out for the device, smacking at the nightstand a few times before actually grabbing it. Normally he would have ignored the message but today he remembered that he had texted you last night, making sure you had his number.

Cracking an eye open to look at his screen, Joshua winces at the brightness, blinking a few times before he is able to read the message and look at the time. It was 9 a.m., and he had gone to bed around 3 a.m. Of course you didn’t know that but he also wasn’t going to tell you no.

Joshua: Absolutely. Can we get coffee? 🙏

The message makes you smile as you sit on your bed, your stuff in a semicircle around you as you try to get ready for the day. Usually you weren’t too concerned with how much you dressed up around campus, especially on the weekends during the day, but today was different. You were going to be hanging out with Joshua Hong.

After your less than ideal first meeting with him, you decided to do some sleuthing to find out more about him, so now not only do you have his last name, but you also know his major, music, and that he has released a few songs on SoundCloud. You had even looked through his Instagram and swooned over many of his pictures, being overly careful not to like any pictures so he wouldn’t know you had been looking.

Y/N: Ofc my treat 😉

Still laying in bed, Joshua smiles at your message and the emoji. Were you flirting with him? A man could dream, couldn’t he?

Joshua: We will see who gets their card out faster.

Joshua had done his own investigation of you the night before but there had been less social media and more word of mouth as he sat in his friend Vernon’s dorm watching a few get more drunk than necessary. Lucky for him, Jeonghan had been at the little get together and he seemed to know everyone or at least something about everyone.

“Y/N Y/L/N, she’s a lit major. Really fucking cute, but you probably know that.”

That he did know, but if you were a literature major, that meant you were smarter than him.

“As far as I know, she’s available. Check her Instagram but... I’m pretty sure.”

Now, walking towards your dorm, Joshua was doing just that—scanning through your most recent pictures. Most were just selfies that he was having a hard time not liking, but a few had friends leaning against you, smiles on both of your faces. What he didn’t see was anyone who seemed like a romantic interest.

Tilting your head, you watch as Joshua looks down at his phone as he walks the few doors towards yours as you wait, your bag slung over your shoulder. He seemed distracted and it wasn’t until you felt your phone vibrate in your hand and looked to see that shuahong95 liked your photo that it made sense.

Pressing your lips together, you feel the warmth spread over your cheeks as Joshua’s eyes widen slightly and he hisses under his breath before looking up to see you looking down at your phone. You had already seen the notification. Fuck it, he thinks to himself, shaking his head. Joshua presses follow on your profile and slips his phone into his jacket pocket as he finally reaches your door.

The second notification pops up that shuahong95 has followed your Instagram, and you swallow hard, looking up as you see his shoes standing in front of you. A bit of a deer caught in the headlights looks plastered on your face; you can only offer him a small smile as he leans his head against the wall next to your door and smiles back at you.

“It was a cute picture. Couldn’t help it.”

Shaking your head, you laugh quietly—a bit manically, as if you were trying to figure out what reality was anymore—slipping your phone into your pocket. Joshua just watches you gauge your reaction, finding it even more adorable as the seconds tick by.

“I–yeah? Thanks…you’re really...”

You didn’t know what you were saying but it didn’t seem to matter to Joshua, as he grins at you for just letting it happen. When you sigh, letting the words die on your lips, Joshua laughs, reaching up to tap his finger on the tip of your nose, causing your cheeks to burn hotter than you thought they could.

“Adorable. Coffee?”

Right, coffee. You had said you would treat him to some before you got started with today’s work. Reaching up to touch your nose where Joshua’s finger had just been, you smile and look away to help calm yourself before clearing your throat and gesturing towards the exit.

“Sure, I’m surprised you were awake when I messaged. You seemed like a late sleeper yesterday, both you and Chan? Is that his name?”

Nodding, Joshua walks beside you, his eyes moving between you and where he is headed. You were exceptionally pretty today. It wasn’t just the fact that you had clearly put work into looking the way you did but that you were smiling and you were almost glowing in the morning light.

“Mmhm, Lee Chan. He’s been my roomie for a year. He’s a good kid.” Smirking, Joshua lifts his hand to rub at the back of his neck as he continues speaking, “Yeah, weekends we tend to party a bit so I usually sleep in a bit more than I would during the week but for you, I'll roll out of bed.”

He was very obviously flirting with you. You weren’t an idiot but what you were was flustered and smiling like an idiot. Turning your face toward Joshua, you press your lips together and nod as he opens the door, letting you go out first into the crisp morning air.

“Seems like you are enjoying university life a bit more than I am, Joshua Hong.”

You dare to look back up at the man as he smiles at you for staying by your side as the two of you make your way towards the local coffee shop located on campus. Clearing your throat, you furrow your brows and lift your finger to scratch at the scrunched up skin as you start to ask the question that has been plaguing you since the night before.

“Um, so yesterday you said something about Chan and it made me curious as to what you meant.”

Tilting his head, Joshua purses his lips, trying to remember what he had said about his roommate before you continue making his cheeks warm up this time.

“Something about how he’s not allowed to flirt with me? What did that mean? Does he have a girlfriend or something… or is there another reason?”

There were two thoughts running through Joshua’s mind the moment you finished your question. One, did you like Chan? Surely not…  You had spoken like five words to the kid and you had been flirting with him all morning. Two, how was he going to do this without just saying it? Fuck it.

“I don’t think he’s dating anyone. I don’t keep up with it, honestly. The last party, he was trashed and hanging out with some pretty freshmen but that’s not why I said it.”

Stopping in front of the stop, Joshua squints a bit from the bright sunlight, making you smile as he tries to think of the right words before he finally continues.

“I said it because he knows that I’m interested in you. There’s a code after all.”

You had half expected it but at the same time, there was no way you could have been prepared for someone like Joshua Hong to tell you that he was interested in you. Granted, you didn’t know each other all that well but you had eyes and desires. Pressing your lips together, you muffle a small happy sound, just nodding and looking down at the sidewalk as Joshua grins, reaching out to tilt your chin back up towards him.

Joshua watches your lips part slightly as your eyes meet his once again. You can’t help but lean into his touch as his thumb glides across your jaw for a few seconds before he finally lets go of your face and takes a breath. You had that deer caught in headlights look on your face again but Joshua was just enamored by you.

“After you.”

Your eyes finally move from the spot where Joshua had been standing when you feel the warmth from inside the shop and smell the coffee wafting towards your nose when he opens the door. Willing your feet to move, you whisper a small thank you to him as you slide by him and into the shop, glancing around it, seeing only a few of the tables occupied by students with headphones covering their ears as they stare at laptops.

Lifting his hand, Joshua places it against the small of your back as he quickly waves the other at the barista, who grins at him tiredly. You had seen the man several times when you had visited the shop but never really introduced yourself to him. Glancing at his name tag, you make a mental note of Vernon as Joshua and him share a quick secret friend handshake, making your head spin. You weren’t aware that people still did that.

“What’s up, man? The fuck you awake for?”

Vernon speaks before glancing to Joshua’s side and at you before he makes a sound like an oh and grins at his friend like he knows some sort of secret. Did all of his friends know he was interested in you?

“Going to help Y/N with her petition. Which, by the way, while we are here, do you mind signing it? It’s the one I told you about, the bird kid.”

Nodding, Vernon moves behind the counter, already starting on a drink, which you assume to be Joshua’s as the man asks him the question. You just watch mesmerized as the steam plums in front of his face and Vernon just leans back and smiles.

“Hell yeah. Always down to support a worthy cause. Really awesome for you to do something like that Y/N.” Taking a breath, the barista furrows his brows, snapping the equipment into place before he grins at you. “Hey, I’m Vernon Chwe, by the way. I’ve seen you around but we’ve never really talked before. You know what you want to drink?”

Joshua watches you smile at his friend. It was a kind smile and something that he was really starting to like about you—just how kind you seemed to genuinely be. The petition was funny on the surface but underneath it, you were legitimately trying to make a difference in the comfort level of those around you.

“It’s really nice to meet you, Vernon. Thank you for that, seriously.” Glancing behind him, you look over the drinks before pursing your lips and finally nodding, “Can I get an iced mocha?”

The man gives you a thumbs up, letting you turn back to Joshua, whom you find already looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky. You can’t help but laugh a bit, shyly glancing away from him and behind you just to make sure he was actually looking at you.

Joshua laughs, reaching forward to take your arms and pulling you back towards him as you look for someone else. There was no one else. There was only you right now and you were so damn cute, he was starting to lose his mind.

“Who are you looking for, pretty girl?”

The heat rises along your neck and across your cheeks at Joshua’s words as your laugh gets caught behind your lips. You hadn’t expected that either. Shaking your head, you whine a bit and finally sigh, meeting Joshua’s eyes as his fingers gently run along your forearms.

“Just who you might be looking at like that but...”

“You. I’m looking at you, silly.”

Vernon rolls his eyes and grins while watching his friend flirt with you. He had seen Joshua flirt with girls before but never like this and out in the open. It had been at parties with the intent of having a quick hookup. This seemed like something different.

Sliding the drinks across the counter, Vernon clears his throat, managing to get your attention first. You smile at him and step away from Joshua to take out your wallet as Joshua shakes his head and reaches over you to tap his phone against the card reader, hearing the beep.

“Told you we’d see who was faster.”

Joshua watches as you talk to each person you meet as if you’d known them for most of your life. With your clipboard in your hands, you extend it towards the boy as he nods along with your words, agreeing with everything you had to say before taking your pen to sign his name. You were good at this—talking to people and standing up for something.

Smiling at the boy, you wave at him before he glances at Joshua quickly to just keep it friendly with you, wondering if the person following so closely behind you was your boyfriend or not. Though you were beginning to wonder if that was something he was trying to shoot for or not, he had been standing closer and closer to you. His hand rested on the small of your back as he held on to your half finished drink, letting you talk to people about your petition.

“Awesome, so just like... Seven more doors this way and this floor is done. Are you sure you aren’t getting bored?”

Offering you your drink by just putting it up to your lips, Joshua watches you laugh and lean in to take the straw into your mouth so you can take a sip as he shakes his head. This was the opposite of boring to him. Yeah, the task wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world but the company was perfect.

“I’m great and I know at least three of the guys who live in dorms up ahead so I will actually be helpful today.”

Shaking your head, you lick your lips, drawing Joshua’s attention to them as he furrows his brows, finding himself wanting to kiss them. Joshua knew that was too fast. He knew it would probably freak you out, but, dammit, you were driving him crazy.

“You’ve been so helpful all day; are you kidding? You’ve made this fly by. Yesterday, I felt like I was doing this for like 30 hours straight. This is actually enjoyable with you hanging out with me.”

So you liked hanging out with him too. He was for sure letting that go straight to his head. You watch as Joshua’s pretty lips pull up into a smile and his cheeks get fuller, causing his eyes to almost close and make perfect half circles. You were starting to love that smile. It was a real smile and it made butterflies flutter around in your stomach like they were at a rave.

“It’s my pleasure, seriously. I’d like to hang out with you more… You know, not just doing this stuff. Maybe dinner? Movie? My friend’s are actually having a party next Friday. If you aren’t, ya know, doing something else.”

Joshua Hong was asking you out. Fuck, the butterflies were flying up to your throat and you were feeling a bit queasy with how excited you were. Grinning, you almost skip in place before starting down the hall towards the next door, causing Joshua to laugh and move to catch up with you.

“Y/N…What do you say? You wanna go with me? Maybe... see where this goes?”

Feeling his free hand on your bicep, you look back at Joshua, biting at your lip as you just nod before meeting his eyes. You almost didn’t trust yourself to say anything but the look on his face made you feel like you were melting. You hadn’t had anyone look at you like that before. You knew it was university and that people were meant to fall in and out of love but you could see yourself falling for Joshua hard and quick.

“Yeah, I'd like that.”

Sliding his hand along your arm, Joshua moves his fingers to your wrist, letting his fingers loosely wrap around it. He nods and takes in a breath, fighting the urge to either move his hand down to yours to take it into his or to lean in the few inches it would take him to claim your lips for a first kiss. Not like this. Not while you were standing in a dingy hallway while other students pushed past you, both trying to get to one of their only working showers.

Letting go of your arm, Joshua smiles and gestures forward, letting you take the lead once again until you reach the first door and he reaches past you to knock on it hard in a pattern that makes your head tilt. This had to be one of his friend’s dorms. One look at the whiteboard in front of you confirmed it as you read a message from Chan stating that “Choi Seungcheol is a huge dick” only for “is a” to be marked out and “has a” to be written under it in someone else's writing.

When the door in front of you opens, you instantly avert your eyes from the shirtless man in front of you, who curses and darts off to the side, muttering Joshua’s name under his breath. Standing behind you, Joshua slides his hand over your hip and laughs as he watches Seungcheol look around for a shirt, tugging it over his head before he comes back to the door.

“What? You always answer the door half naked like a caveman? He’s dressed now, Y/N; nothing will be burned into your memory for eternity.”

Sighing loudly, Seungcheol rolls his eyes and throws up his hands in confusion, gesturing to you before you look back at him and offer him a smile. You were cute; you were really fucking cute and Joshua had his hand on your hip. Fuck. You were off the table.

“Hi, I am so freaking sorry about that. I should have maybe said something, but I didn’t, ya know...”

Shaking his head and waving his hand, Seungcheol makes a scoffing sound and gestures for you both to come in.

“It’s fine. It's not like you saw anything important. I was just shirtless; just didn’t expect to see a pretty girl at my door with that knock. Just expected an idiot.”

Hearing his friend call you a pretty girl, Joshua shoots Seungcheol a look only to get back a shrug and a gesture in your direction as if to say, Well, am I wrong? You glance around the room and smile at Seungcheol once again before putting your clipboard against your chest and taking a breath.

“I’m Y/N, but Joshua just said that...  uh I’m here—”

“She needs you to sign a petition. You know that fucking dude with the bird who gives it a bath in the water fountain?”

Furrowing his brows at the whiplash of words being spit at him, Seungcheol looks from you to Joshua before laughing and nodding. He did know which guy Joshua was talking about. He had taken a video of the kid giving the bird a bath in that fountain and sent it to Seungkwan, which resulted in a bit of backlash on the kid but not as much as it should have.

“Yeah, of course. What’s the petition gonna do?”

Moving forward, you offer the clipboard to Seungcheol, explaining your cause and how it would work as Joshua watches you with his friend. Once again, he was mesmerized by you and how easy it seemed to be for you to pick up a conversation with just about anyone.

Taking the pen and clipboard, Seungcheol sits on this bed and works on filling it out between glaces between you and Joshua, a smirk lifting at one corner of his lips.

“Surprised to see you fighting for a cause, Shua.”

Narrowing his eyes, Joshua waits to see the proper lines signed before he steps forward, taking it from Seungcheol’s hands with a curt thank you.

“You shouldn’t be. Y/N was doing this alone… I just thought she could use some company.”

That explained it. The hand on the hip, him following you around like a love-sick puppy, that look in his eye when you moved anywhere in the room. Joshua Hong was whipped.

“Ah, I see. Just helping, Y/N out. What a good boyfriend, sorry friend. What are you?”

Groaning at Seungcheol’s words, Joshua rolls his eyes and moves to grab your hand as you try to defend him and yourself, only to be guided towards the door and out of the room as the man behind you laughs and apologizes.

“Shua! I’m kidding. You’re cute together, that’s all. Don’t go away mad.”

Slamming the door behind him, Joshua leans against the wall, glancing at you as his fingers start to slip from yours, only for you to close your fingers around his as you look up at him.

“You did ask me out, so he’s not that far off. I mean, you're not like my boyfriend, you know...” Joshua grins as you lower your voice, like it's a secret, when you finish your sentence. “Yet, we did say we’d see where it could go. Don’t be mad at your friends for teasing just because of me.”

Running his fingers along yours, Joshua sighs softly at your words before nodding. He couldn’t help but let his eyes move along your face, enjoying being this close to you. He could imagine how much he was going to enjoy getting to know you better and spending more time with you when there wasn’t some task in the way.

“You’re right. I’m not mad at him and I’m certainly not embarrassed, I just don’t want you to be freaked out by it or anything. Don’t wanna scare you off.”

With your bottom lip caught between your teeth, you let it go only to smile and shake your head as Joshua’s thumb moves in a circle along the palm of your hand.

“I’m not scared.”

You were scared as you stood in front of the mirror you and your roommate had haphazardly leaned against the wall. Your dress was short and your boots were borrowed. You could hear music quietly playing from Yeji’s laptop as she gives you a once over and a thumbs up.

“You look hot.”

Whining, you tug at the end of your dress and meet her eyes in the mirror as you tilt your head.

“You sure you won’t come along? I could use backup.”

Shaking her head, Yeji gestures at her laptop and laughs before offering you a sympathetic pout. She had already given up so much of her time today to help you get ready, not to mention letting you borrow her favorite boots to complete your outfit.

“I have to finish this paper before midnight or Professor Byun is going to drop me from the class. I wish I could come with you. It sounds like a hell of a lot more fun than a stupid research paper.”

Still whining, you move to Yeji’s desk, wrapping your arms around her from behind and granting yourself another laugh as she holds your arms and leans back against you. You had gotten lucky with your roommate. While so many others ended up switching after a year, you and Yeji had stuck together, and she was your best friend.

“If you finish it and want to get out of the room, just come out to the party. Joshua said there will be lots of people there and it will go until early in the morning.”

You feel Yeji nod against your cheek before she sighs and pats your arms to get you to let her go.

“I promise, but I also want you to just have a good time. Don’t worry about me. Go hang out with your boyfriend.”

Warmth was creeping along your cheeks again as you stood to your full height and moved to pick up your jacket, pulling it over your arms. Muttering, you pick up your phone, glancing over your messages, seeing one from Joshua about picking you up soon.

“He’s not my boyfriend yet…”

Even with the words spoken behind a whine and under your breath, Yeji can make them out and she laughs, feeling endeared by you. It was nice to see you happy and focusing on more than just school for once.

“Yet.”

A knock at your door causes you to take a deep breath as Yeji squeals excitedly, turning in her chair. She had met Joshua in passing a few times over the week but this felt different even for her. This was your first date with him, officially.

Joshua grins at hearing the quiet, happy squeals behind the door as he waits. He had been excited about this all day, to the point that Chan had left for Wonwoo and Mingyu’s house well in advance, leaving him in the dorm by himself to pace.

Taking in a sharp breath when the door opens, Joshua can’t help the way his eyes move over your face and then the length of your body in your outfit. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting but you had just surpassed them all.

“Shit…”

Yeji grins at the interaction. She watches Joshua stare at you, stunned, and how you shy away, whining at him to stop it. Shaking her head, Yeji sighs and finally waves at Joshua, managing to catch his attention.

“Have a great time. I expect her home no later than 9 a.m.”

Laughing, Joshua can’t help but shake his head. He wanted to tell Yeji that he could keep that promise but right now he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

“Uh…I’ll do my best.”

Your cheeks were on fire at the exchange between your best friend and Joshua. What were they even trying to do? Groaning, you mutter a goodbye to Yeji as she giggles, telling you to have fun before slipping your hand into Joshua's, pulling him away from the door as you shut it behind you.

“You look gorgeous.”

Linking his fingers with yours, Joshua looks over at you as he walks with you out into the chilly night air, feeling you step a bit closer to him. He could see you smiling even under the dim streetlights. Your smile could light up rooms so it was doing wonders for him right now.

“Stop it. You look great. How am I going to keep my date to myself?”

Laughing, Joshua shakes his head and leans his head back to look up at the sky as the two of you walk towards frat houses. You could both hear several parties already in full swing but none of them were where you were headed.

“I promise I’m not leaving your side. Besides, I’m more concerned that I might have to fight for you. When I invited you to this, I didn’t really consider who could be there or even where it was going to be.” Joshua sighs a bit dejected before glancing back over at you. “Most girls look at some of my friends, like Mingyu or Wonwoo, Cheol and I watch as our dates find someone else to talk to.”

Furrowing your brows, you come to a stop, forcing Joshua to do the same or to drop your hand. Looking back at you, he sees the disappointed look on your face and sighs once again, moving back to stand in front of you.

“Do I look like most girls to you, Joshua Hong?”

His smirk pulls at one side of his lips as Joshua watches you and how serious you look standing in front of him. He hadn’t said what he had to get some sort of sympathy from you, just as a true statement of what he had experienced in the past, but clearly you weren’t having any of it. Shaking his head, Joshua leans forward to brush his lips across your cheek before he speaks against your skin.

“No, you don’t.”

Closing your eyes, you try to stay still when Joshua kisses your cheek. You hadn’t expected it but you weren’t against it either. Smiling, you open your eyes as he starts to lean back, only for his eyes to drop to your lips before they lift once again to your eyes.

“I–okay…So don’t say things like that. I’m going with you.”

Your voice was quieter than you intended but Joshua just smiles, tightening his fingers with yours as he leads you up the few steps into the house that his friends were renting. The house wasn’t massive by the standards of the other major frat houses but for the available rentals, Wonwoo and Mingyu had lucked out.

Inside, you glance around, noticing a few familiar faces but many more that you had only seen while passing around campus. Joshua grins, sliding his hand from yours in place of putting it around your waist, keeping you close to him as he guides you through the house and towards the living room, where he waves at a tall, handsome man holding a red solo cup.

“Shua! You made it!”

You find yourself smiling at the man’s infectious enthusiasm as he moves through the smaller crowd to pat Joshua’s back and smile at you, lifting his brows.

“Course I did. Uh…Gyu…” You watch Joshua’s brows furrow as you look from him to the other man, waiting for the introduction before he gestures at you. “This is Y/N. Y/N this is Kim Mingyu.”

Offering his hand, you take it, letting the larger man encompass yours briefly before he looks back at Joshua and laughs.

“Wow…I owe Jeonghan fifty bucks. Fuck.”

Shaking his head, Mingyu walks towards the kitchen, leaving you and Joshua watching him a bit confused before the man at your side sighs and slides his arm back around you.

“Don’t know what that was about. Sorry…Clearly, he pre-gamed.”

You simply smile and lean in to kiss Joshua’s cheek, feeling the warmth spread across his face under your lips, before you pull back to meet his eyes.

“Don’t worry so much. I think they are just happy to see you here with somebody. If I had to take a guess.”

Furrowing his brows, Joshua swallows hard, his eyes moving over your face and down to your pretty smile before he lets out a breath and a laugh.

“Yeah? Think that’s what's going on?”

Nodding, you try to act as nonchalant as possible, feeling Joshua’s fingers pressing into your hip.

“Mhm. Between that and what happened yesterday with Seungcheol…”

Smiling, Joshua just shakes his head, trying to keep himself from doing anything stupid or too quick, as you bite at your bottom lip and give him such a sweet look of innocence. Seungcheol furrows his brows as he wrinkles his nose to the feeling of smoke tickling it. Vernon tries to pass the bong back over to him while Chan mutters to himself, sitting between them and looking at his laptop.

Joshua leads you through the living room, where Seungcheol looks a lot more relaxed than the last time you saw him. He grins at Joshua, pointing at him before letting his lips fall into a pout.

“Took you long enough.” Using Chan’s arm to sit up, Seungcheol groans to himself as he whines out his complaint to Joshua, knowing that usually he would be the buffer between him and Chan. “Do you know how much shit I have had to listen to Chan spew while I waited on you to get your ass here?”

Glancing from Joshua to you when Joshua lifts his hand and starts to speak, Seungcheol grins, finally seeming to realize you had joined his friend.

“Shit…Y/N. You came.” Pushing at Chan’s leg, Seungcheol pats a few times at the couch, getting lost in what he is doing before he looks back up at you and smiles a bit lopsided again. “Sit down.”

Shaking his head, Joshua watches as you laugh amused with high Seungcheol’s antics as Chan whines, having his laptop pushed on his lap towards Vernon, who was engrossed in his phone watching tetris competitions.

“We’re gonna mingle a bit first, Cheol. She might want a drink.” Glancing towards you, Joshua furrows his brows, realizing he hadn’t even asked. “Do you want a drink?”

Smiling at him once again, you glance around the room and towards the kitchen, before biting at your lip and pulling his attention towards it again.

“Sure, hang out for a minute. I’ll get them.”

Joshua starts to tell you he’ll get drinks but you let go of his hand and head towards the kitchen, where Mingyu yells your name, granting himself one of your pretty laughs. Seungcheol tilts his head with lidded eyes, letting his gaze lazily move down your legs before glancing up at his friend.

“She’s hot.” grinning, he leans his head back against the couch with a hazy smile. “If you don’t date her, I’m gonna shoot my shot. Still can’t believe you got her to show up.”

Slapping the side of Seungcheol’s head, Joshua listens to the man laugh as he leans forward to take another hit, letting out an exhale of smoke as he finally leans back on the couch. Lifting his brow in half annoyance and amusement, Joshua looks back towards the kitchen, seeing you smile at something Jeonghan was telling you. He wasn’t sure how he had managed it either.

During the week, Joshua tried to keep himself busy and on track but on the weekends, he allowed himself to enjoy everything that university life had to offer. He had good friends with cheap alcohol and decent weed. Joshua watched you snake your way back through the crowd, two drinks in your hand and a smile on your face, and Joshua realized now he had you to add to that list.

“I literally have no idea what’s in these cups. Jeonghan said it was juice and Soonyoung said it was death.” You laugh sweetly and Joshua swoons, not knowing if it was the atmosphere getting to him or you as you tilt your head and speak before you take a sip of one cup. “I like your friends, Joshua.”

Taking the other cup, Joshua takes a sip, recognizing the mixture of alcohols and various fruit juices as a Yoon Jeonghan special before making a face. You don’t seem to hold the same displeasure on your face but Joshua knows that can only mean that you might drink too much of it and regret it later, he would just have to keep an eye on you.

“Like it?”

Nodding, you tip back the drink, and Joshua’s suspicion is confirmed as you lick your lips, emptying your cup, and glancing back at the kitchen, causing him to laugh.

“Listen, there is enough alcohol in this to fuel a jet. One more and then we maybe…wander out to the hot tub.”

Glancing towards the sliding glass doors, you try to see where a hot tub might be but you aren’t able to see it from the living room, making you furrow your brows. Instead of questioning Joshua, you just laugh and tilt your head, feeling a bit shy about what you have to say next.

“You didn’t tell me to wear anything for a hot tub.”

He hadn’t. Joshua smiles, glancing down at his drink before taking a bigger gulp and nodding to your words.

“I didn’t wear anything either. We can just wear what we have... or figure it out.”

Your face was on fire but it could be the "juice.” You needed more courage to see where this was going. With your smile growing in size, you can’t help but laugh. Nodding, Joshua nods along with you before you feel your fingers slide along his before you head back towards the kitchen.

Seungcheol makes a face, trying to read what Chan was pointing at his laptop. He was trying hard to get him or Vernon to look at the screen and read what he had been writing for most of the night.

“No, ‘cause listen. If I say she breasted boobily, does that sound hot?”

Vernon blinks at his phone before looking over at the laptop and reading over the paragraph that Chan had been working on for over an hour before sighing heavily.

“I don’t know, man. It’s fanfiction. I think you can say whatever in hell you wanna say.”

Joshua furrowed his brow, a bit confused at the conversation, as he stood next to the couch. He wasn’t sure he had just witnessed as he watched Seungcheol stare blankly at the screen for a few more seconds before the man shifts his gaze back over to him and grins, seeming to remember he was there.

“Sit down, man. Hang out.”

Glancing towards the kitchen, where you were laughing at something Wonwoo was saying and back to Seungcheol, Joshua lifts his hand to scratch at his cheek before shaking his head. Seungcheol was starting to pout again and attempting to make more room on the three seater couch when Joshua shook his head.

“Maybe later.”

Patting Seungcheol on the shoulder, Joshua listens to the man whine as he walks towards the kitchen with his eyes fixed on you. Sliding his hand around your waist, Joshua feels you jump slightly, your eyes moving from Wonwoo to him as you smile.

“Hey, you weren’t coming back.”

You could feel your cheeks burning at Joshua’s attention but also the other eyes in the room as Wonwoo smirked at how jealous Joshua was acting.

“I was just talking to Wonwoo. He was telling me that you make some mean french toast apparently.”

Smiling, Joshua leans to kiss your cheek before glancing at Wonwoo and tilting his head.

“Camping stories?”

Wonwoo just grins, lifting his cup to his lips to take a sip before nodding and furrowing his brows.

“Thinking about planning another trip for the summer. Maybe Y/N will come with us this time.”

The idea of it made Joshua excited and nervous as he glanced to judge the expression on your face. You seemed intrigued as you clinged to his side, your smile once again lighting up the room.

“Sounds fun.”

It was sounding more and more like you were planning on sticking around with Joshua and his friends. Holding on to you a bit tighter, Joshua takes in a breath and gestures over his shoulder,  causing Wonwoo’s eyes to follow his hand before his friend meets his eyes again, only to smile.

“It does; hey, do you mind if I borrow the hot tub?”

A louder laugh from your right makes you smile as Mingyu slides back through the kitchen, picking up a fresh cup and pouring more of the juice into it as he shakes his head to answer Joshua’s question.

“Go for it, man. Just keep cum out of it.”

You make a face at the wording but Joshua just laughs, causing Wonwoo to meet his eyes and for Joshua to grow a bit more serious. Taking a step towards the doorway, Joshua picks up a smaller bottle, watching Wonwoo’s head tilt and his mouth start to open when he just grins and winks before turning to also pick up two shot glasses.

“Okay, got it. Hot tub is for relaxation only.”

Glancing around the backyard, you take the last sips of your drink as Joshua mutters to himself before making an “ah ha” sound. You gasp, watching strings of lights light up across the deck and into the trees near the hot tub, where Joshua stands grinning at you, looking pleased with himself.

“When it’s warmer weather, they throw outdoor parties or leave the doors open. I helped them hang up the lights.”

Joshua watches you glance around the lights, a smile on your face, before you once again look at him, causing his head to spin. He knew he was a goner when it came to you. You could tell him to jump on one leg and bark like a dog and he’d probably do it for you without many questions at this point just because you smiled at him.

Moving back towards the hot tub, Joshua whispers “tada” before showing you the smaller bottle of tequila and shot glasses he had commandeered from the kitchen. He grins as you laugh, moving in a bit closer to him to tilt your head. You watch as he sits the bottle on the side of the hot tub before he moves back in touching distance as you narrow your eyes playfully.

“And where did that come from? Just happen to keep bottles of tequila on you at all times?”

Wincing Joshua closes one eye as if he’s trying to think of something, feeling your hands sliding along his sides. Your laugh causes Joshua to smile and meet your eyes even as your fingers tug at the end of his shirt so your fingertips can brush over his bare skin just above his jeans. You had more courage and you weren’t going to let it go to waste.

“It was sitting on the counter. Wonwoo might yell at me later for taking it but all is fair at a party. Don’t have it on the counter if it's not up for grabs.”

Sucking in a breath, Joshua tilts his head as he feels your fingers sliding under his shirt along his back, lifting his shirt. You looked almost too pretty under the twinkling string lights and feeling your warm fingers running along his back as the chilly air also bit at his skin was intoxicating.

“You are killing me, Y/N.”

Laughing softly and sweetly, you trail your fingers further up his torso, making Joshua groan as he finally gives in, leaning back only enough so that he can tug his shirt up and over his head, giving you what you want. Your eyes move from his handsome face down over his toned chest and down to his stomach. You couldn't help yourself as you smiled, running your thumbs along the top of his v-cut feeling. Joshua takes in a deep breath, leaning his head back to look up at the night sky.

“You are so handsome, Josh.”

Closing his eyes, Joshua groans quietly to himself before looking back at your face as you give him that same innocent look that had been driving him crazy for two days. With his thumb and forefinger on either side of your chin, Joshua holds your face in place as he leans in to brush his lips over yours for the first time, listening to the sharp intake of breath get caught in your throat. It wasn’t a full kiss but it made you want to chase after one, and the way his fingers were holding you in place, all you could do was whine and press your nails into Joshua’s sides.

“Patience, baby.”

Plush lips caress yours and a large hand slides along your neck as Joshua finally gives into you, taking not only your breath but every thought in your head with his first kiss. You moan softly into his mouth as his other hand slides along your hip and down to grip at your ass, causing your brows to furrow.

Smiling against your lips, Joshua pecks at them once more before sliding his hand from your ass to your leg to slip your dress along your thigh as you look up at him.

“This okay? I figure you don’t want to get your dress wet. “

Nodding, you shrug out of your jacket, letting Joshua work the tight dress up your body and over your head, leaving you in your bra and panties as he works to kick off his jeans. You find yourself watching him shyly as you pick up your clothes and put them into a chair, your borrowed boots safely tucked away underneath as Joshua smirks at you.

You were stunning. You weren’t wearing anything special. There wasn’t any lace and nothing matched but it didn’t need to. It was perfect because it was you and he wanted more. He could just imagine being between your legs or kissing your breasts as he watched you move back towards him and the hot tub. Feeling your hand trembling in his as he helped you into the warm water, Joshua knew you needed a bit more time.

Taking in a deep breath, you smile as Joshua leans to press the button, causing the hot tub to start running and the jets to cause the water to bubble and roar around the two of you as he settles in near you. Steam rising from the surface, you watch him through it as he leans his head back for a moment before reaching for the bottle he had taken, cracking up the seal to pour each of you a shot, offering you one.

“To possibilities?”

Trying to hold back a laugh, you press your lips together and nod as Joshua laughs at your reaction. He knew it was a silly toast but it was what he wanted—a world full of possibilities with you. Tipping back your glass, you make a bit of a face to the taste and feeling of the burn as the alcohol runs down your throat. Joshua follows suit, letting out a breath before nodding and putting his glass back securely on the side.

You could feel that your head was lighter, your inhibitions were low as the drinks from the night had all begun to mix in your system. Joshua watches as you smile brightly, putting your glass very carefully beside his before you turn to look at him curiously.

“Truth or dare, Joshua Hong?”

Chuckling as you use his full name, Joshua moves his hand to run it along your arm as he starts to enjoy the buzzed feeling as his head tilts to your question.

“Truth.”

Biting at your lip, you can’t help but wrinkle your nose at his answer. You knew you were the same way when it came to truth or dare but you had pictured Joshua as a dare kind of guy.

“Mmkay. What was your first impression of me?”

Lifting his brows, Joshua laughs once again, realizing this was how this game was going to go. You watch as he reaches for the bottle of tequila, pouring another couple of shots, allowing you to grab your own. Hissing at the taste, Joshua narrows his eyes at you before smiling and pouring another shot a bit nervously.

“I opened the door and thought, Damn, what a pretty girl.”

Watching you smile and tilt your shot glass back, Joshua can’t help but smile as you giggle a bit to yourself. Reaching forward, Joshua wipes a bit of tequila from your chin, causing you to whine and lean into his touch.

“And I still think that, ‘cause you are so fucking pretty. Truth or dare.”

Feeling almost too warm, you lift out of the water a bit, only shifting yourself closer to Joshua, who takes a deep breath when your chest lifts from the water briefly. Moving his eyes from your breasts to your face, Joshua presses his lips together when he feels you almost sit on his lap as you purse your lips, thinking hard before speaking.

“I’ll pick truth too.”

Turning your attention back to Joshua, you are almost surprised to see him so close. Starting to apologize, you laugh, feeling Joshua’s hand slide around your hip to your back to keep you in place.

“You’re fine, right where you are. In fact…”

Sliding his legs apart, Joshua watches as you dip your chin under the water, feeling him shift his leg under your ass so that you can rest comfortably on his lap.

“Now…I’m curious what’s on your mind right now. So that’s my question. Tell me what you are thinking.”

Flexing your fingers, you try to figure out where to put them but feeling Joshua’s fingers sliding along the top of your panties at the small of your back, you can’t help but whine before resting your arm around his neck and your other hand against his chest. The feeling of being close to Joshua comes naturally, and you start to feel thankful for the water surrounding you, knowing that you were becoming aroused from even just sitting on his lap.

“Right now? Um…lots of things.”

Joshua grins, his free hand daring to caress your leg under the water, feeling your legs part instinctively for him even though he doesn’t do more than run his thumb along your inner thigh.

“Yeah? Tell me three of them.”

Sighing, you furrow your brows and shift on his leg, causing Joshua to rub his lips together at the feeling. He liked this too much, having you this close to him. Feeling your body press up against his and having your fingers walk along your skin as you thought of your answer.

“I was thinking about the camping trip and how that might be nice.”

Joshua smirks as you seem to stall in telling him anything he might actually want to know. It wasn’t that he disagreed with the sentiment; it was that he knew you had more on your mind. Nodding, he watches as you smile and avoids his eyes, letting your voice drop in volume so that you can barely be heard over the roar of the jets.

“And I was thinking about when you kissed me. About how I wanted you to–to do that again.”

Grinning, Joshua lets his eyes move to your lips and back up to your eyes as you stumble over your words. Leaning forward, he rests his lips against yours without applying pressure as you whine his name, pressing your fingers against his chest.

“One more, Y/N.”

You couldn’t think like this, not with Joshua’s lips hovering over yours and his breath warm against your face. Closing your eyes, you try to let yourself melt into his touch, enjoying the feeling of his fingers moving over your skin as you finally answer him.

“Just want you to fuck me. That’s what’s on my mind.”

Joshua’s lips press against yours firmly, his hand sliding from your thigh to your waist to pull you towards him tightly. He wasn’t being careful anymore, not when he knew what you wanted. Groaning into your mouth, Joshua furrows his brows, feeling you adjust your legs over his so that you are straddling him and are able to roll your hips down to grind over his hardening length.

“Fuck…” The word is drawn out on a breath when Joshua pulls back from kissing you to lean his head back at the feeling of your hips rolling over him. “Baby, that feels good. Feels too good.”

He was calling you baby again and your head was spinning. You smile, leaning to press a kiss to the column of Joshua’s throat when it’s exposed to you, drawing another groan out of the man’s mouth. Hands tighten on your ass and Joshua laughs out your name in disbelief, moving his head so he can meet your eyes.

“You are gonna make me break my promise about cum in the hot tub.”

Fingers dig into your skin under the elastic of your panties as Joshua takes a deep breath, calming down before he nods and glances over his shoulder towards a door, considering his next action.

“We are going in there. I wouldn’t wanna fuck you in here anyway. I wanna take my time with you.”

Biting at your lips, you laugh softly, sliding off Joshua’s lap as he stands and helps you do the same. You furrow your brows once you are safely back on the patio, feeling the cold air biting at your skin while watching Joshua collect your clothing and his own.

“What room is that? Should I get dressed?”

Leaning to kiss your shoulder, Joshua grins against your skin, shaking his head as he shivers just as much as you from the cold air. You feel him usher you towards the door, letting you open it, happy to find it unlocked.

“It’s Wonwoo’s room. We are just gonna…you know, borrow it.”

Blinking a few times in the dark as Joshua trips over a few things, muttering to himself before he finds a lamp, you smile, finally able to look around as he moves to the other door, locking it.

“And Wonwoo won’t mind if we borrow his room?”

Joshua drops the last of the clothes onto the floor before moving back over to you and sliding his hands up your wet back towards your bra clasp as he shakes his head. You can’t help but laugh as Joshua mutters about Wonwoo's understanding needs. You knew it was a weak argument but you weren’t going to go against it.

Running your fingers through his hair, you moan Joshua’s name as you feel his fingers tug at the straps of your bra, freeing your body from the garment. The room was much warmer than it had been outside but chillbumps were still spreading across your skin.

“You are so fucking beautiful.”

Joshua shakes his head mostly in disbelief at himself thinking about how you had been living on the same floor as him just five doors down all this time and he had clearly been an idiot or blind. Scratching his nails along the back of your arms, Joshua leans down to kiss the top of each of your breasts with a low groan to the soft feeling of your skin against his lips. He was already addicted to you and he had barely had a taste.

“Please…Josh–ah…don’t tease me.”

Smiling against your nipple, Joshua lifts your right breast, kneading at the soft mound before taking the bud into his mouth and sucking hard, feeling you arch against his mouth. Walking backwards, you hear Joshua whine, feeling you start to pull from him, causing him to have to hold on to your waist to keep your breast in his mouth. You don’t stop walking until you feel the bed behind your knees and you whisper to Joshua that you need to lay down.

“Mm, okay, wait. Don’t get the bed wet.”

You smile as Joshua moves to one knee, sliding his hands up your thighs and finally to your hips to tug your panties down your legs. Closing your eyes, you take a breath, letting it out slowly, feeling his lips move over your thighs until his hands reach your ankles.

“Lay down, baby.”

Helping you down, Joshua tilts his head, taking in every inch of your body as he feels his cock throb jerk behind his boxers. You were perfect in every single way. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted first. Lifting his hand, Joshua runs his hand over his mouth as your hand barely traces the curve of his shaft as you wait for him with a questioning look on your face.

“Just trying to think where Wonwoo might keep his condoms.”

When you smile, a quiet laugh falls from your lips. Joshua can’t help but mimic your smile, sliding his fingers into the top of his boxers and working them down his hips as you watch. Your brows lifting, you take in a breath before licking your lips, obviously hungry for what was in front of you, watching his cock bounce back up at attention as his boxers fall to the floor.

“I…I’m good. I have an IUD and I get tested. Unless you just want one.”

Taking a deep breath, Joshua takes one more long look at your body before focusing on your pretty face and shivering at the idea of having you raw. There was no way he was going to say no to that.

“Okay…No, I’m good. I get tested too…  Fuck, are you sure?”

Nodding, you lift your hand out for Joshua as he rests his knee between your legs, feeling the wet warmth of your pussy against his thigh. Lacing his fingers with yours, Joshua pins your hand to the bed next to your head as he lays over you, smiling against your lips and feeling your hips roll over his thigh.

“You are so wet, baby.” You whimper against Joshua’s lips, his teeth catching your bottom lip and dragging it out just slightly before he lets go with a groan. “I wanna eat you out so fucking bad but I also wanna fuck this mouth…”

Gripping his bicep hard, you dig your nails into his skin hard enough to leave small half moon divots, causing Joshua to hiss at your reaction to his words. Smirking, he presses kisses on your jaw up to your ear, speaking against it causing chillbumps to once again spread across your skin.

“You like that? When I talk dirty to you? Tell you what I wanna do to you.”

Nodding, you bury your face against Joshua’s hair, feeling embarrassed as he laughs and presses kisses on your neck. Leaning back on his elbow, Joshua looks down at you, watching you try to hide from him until he pulls his hand from yours to turn your face back towards him so he can run his thumb over your lips, causing him to groan quietly. He knew what he wanted.

Laying in the middle of the bed on his back, Joshua smirks at you as you sit back on your feet, watching him get comfortable. You smile as he slides the pillow from under his head and lifts his hands, beckoning you towards him, only to tell you to stop when you start to crawl on top of him.

“Uh huh…  I want you on my face; let me see your ass.”

His hand slides along your leg as you whine, unsure, but Joshua just nods and helps you get in position with your knees on either side of his face as you rest your hands on his chest. Running his hands along the back of your legs up to your ass, Joshua groans at all he can see in front of him before he grips your hips and pulls your pussy down to his mouth, running his tongue flat against you to get his first taste.

You gasp loudly, your nails digging into his chest, feeling his tongue running along your folds and pressing into your entrance for just a taste of the arousal that had already dripped from you. Leaning your head forward, you find yourself sliding your hips back and down over Joshua’s face and closer to his tongue as he groans, lapping at your clit, before sucking hard and making you cry out his name.

With each passing moment, you find yourself sliding further and further down Joshua’s body until you realize you could give him exactly what he wanted. Wrapping your hand around Joshua’s cock, you twist your hand and feel him pause between your legs, his fingers pulling you back towards his face as he lifts his head up to suck your soft folds into his mouth.

“Josh…fuck. Oh my god…  I’m getting so close. I want your cock, okay?”

You couldn’t hear what Joshua was saying as he groaned against your pussy; he was too far gone and too drunk to care but anything you wanted was yours. The moment you wrap your lips around his tip, Joshua has to let his head fall back and take a deep breath as he mutters your name.

A warm, wet mouth envelopes him as your tongue presses against the underside of his cock right up until the point that you can’t take a single centimeter more of Joshua before you pull back with a gasp. Tears start to run down your face even as you smile, feeling Joshua’s fingers parting your folds so his tongue can get right back to work, driving you closer and closer to your orgasm that was right on the cusp.

With Joshua’s cock buried in your mouth once again, you moan around him, only pulling back when you feel the overwhelming pressure take over you as your orgasm rips through your body. Resting your forehead against Joshua’s stomach, you whimper his name as your thighs shake almost violently at the feeling of his fingers slowly sliding from your tight walls and along each side of your clit.

Large hands run along your thighs and up over your back as Joshua tries to soothe you before finally managing to move you to his side so he can pull you into his arms and press his lips to yours. You furrow your brows to the taste of yourself on his lips but smile at the feeling of his hand gliding along your skin to your thigh, pulling your leg across his hip to keep you close to him.

“You okay?”

Nodding, you rub your lips together and laugh under your breath, feeling Joshua’s nose nudge against yours before he kisses you softly once more. You felt like jelly but you felt good. You wanted more. You needed him completely and you knew that he still needed more.

Joshua hums against your cheek, feeling your hand slide along his stomach and down towards his cock, resting against his lower abdomen. Your smaller hand felt good and your mouth had felt even better but he had felt your pussy around his fingers and on his tongue and he was craving it on his cock now. Kissing your cheek, Joshua smiles against your skin while dragging his nails along your thigh as you lazily stroke him and speak just above a whisper.

“Fuck me, Joshua.”

You feel him nudge his nose against your cheek as he rolls you on to your back, moving his body between your legs. You knew he was a large man but underneath him, you felt even smaller and vulnerable in the best ways. Arching your back, you moan softly, letting Joshua slide your leg once more along his up to his hip, causing your wet folds to separate once again.

“I was planning on it.”

Joshua sucks in a breath, watching your eyes close on a silent moan as he slowly works his cock into you for the first time. You were tight and the stretch was evident on your face. Your brows furrowed tightly, and you took a deep breath only when Joshua bottomed out and stopped to allow you time to adjust.

Resting his lips against your shoulder, Joshua groans, trying not to think about how tightly you are squeezing him or how much he already wants to cum as you scratch his back. Instead, he just takes a deep breath and turns his head towards you to make sure you are okay. You blink tears from your eyes at how good the stretch feels and nod to Joshua’s words, begging him to move, lifting your hips in order to get him to do something.

“Shh, fuck baby. I’m–shit…okay. I was gonna go slow.”

Shaking your head, you run your fingers through the back of Joshua’s damp hair at the nape of his neck, pulling his lips back to yours as you speak between kisses, feeling his hips finally meeting yours and sending your head towards the headboard with each deep thrust.

“No, I want it. Feels so fucking good. Please, Joshua.”

You were going to be the death of him. Hissing out a groan on your lips, Joshua moves to rest his forehead against yours as he gives you what you want and thrusts into you hard and fast, making you cry out his name. The sound of the music from the party was still loud enough to keep him from wondering if anyone might hear you but at this point, his pride was starting to hope maybe someone would. He wanted them to know how good he was making you feel.

“Yes–ha…fuck! Josh–”

Joshua had fucked other girls and had them scream his name but no one else had made his head swell and spin like you did. Every time you said his name, Joshua felt like he was floating.  He felt like he was sending you to the moon every single time he buried his cock in you. Even if that wasn’t how you felt, he knew that you felt like heaven and he could die happy after being between your legs and in your arms.

Feeling your walls tighten around him, Joshua groans your name, burying his face into the crook of your neck. He could tell you were getting close just from the way you were squeezing his cock but you were also pushing him over the edge. He had been skirting it and doing his best not to let go too quickly but with one last scratch of your nails along his back and a soft moan from your lips, Joshua’s body shakes as, with each thrust, he pushes his cum back into you.

“Please…” You listen to Joshua’s whine into a moan as he leans back to watch his cum drip out of you with each thrust. “Cum for me?”

Feeling his thumb press against your clit, rubbing small circles against the swollen bundle of nerves, you cry out Joshua’s name as your thighs begin to shake when he sends you back over the edge, spiraling into your orgasm once again. Joshua licks his lips, watching your face this time as you cum, his eyes fixated on your lips and how they fall open when you moan so loudly that he’s certain someone had to have heard you.

Carefully slipping from you, Joshua lays on top of you, enjoying the feeling of your fingers running through his hair as he catches his breath. He could hear your heart racing and how it was steadily starting to calm down as the minutes passed. He could hear your breath evening out and he could feel the dampness of your skin against his cheek.

“I need a shower. Fuck…”

Your laugh makes Joshua smile against your chest before he leans back to look up at you, leaning to press his lips to yours once and then again furrowing his brows. You could see the question on his face and feel his apprehension as he took a breath.

“I–yeah. Same. Are you wanting to leave? I can take you back to your dorm. I – cause you know this was fun. I’d like to see you again. You know more often...”

Smiling, you lift your hand to run your thumb along Joshua’s jaw as he stumbles through his words. You knew he was a smart man and by all standards, he ran with a pretty popular crowd at the university, yet he was acting like some high school boy with a crush after fucking you into the mattress.

“Yeah? That mean you wanna date me, Joshua Hong?”

Joshua’s lips pull up into a smile at your words before he lays his face flat against your breasts, realizing how stupid he must have sounded for you to have to even ask that. Of course, he wanted to date you. This was the most cliche thing he could have done but he wanted you. Lifting his head, Joshua nods and sighs, gaining back some of his confidence.

“Yeah, hell yeah. I wanna date you. Wanna take you out as much as possible and keep you in my bed the rest of the time.”

Laughing, you shake your head, feeling your cheeks warm at Joshua’s words this time. It all sounded perfect but there were a few hiccups in his plan.

“Mm, I accept, however...  I don’t think Chan would want me in your bed that often.”

Scoffing, Joshua starts to lean up on his elbow, ready to explain just where Chan can shove his opinion, when a loud knock at the door startles you both, causing you to gasp. Wonwoo narrows his eyes at his bedroom door, trying the knob once again, only to groan.

“Who the fuck–Shua! Are you fucking in my bedroom?”

Widening his eyes almost dramatically, you watch Joshua hold back a laugh as he slips out of bed and starts tossing you some of your clothes as he slips his own on.

“Of course I am. I appreciate your donation to the cause, Wonwoo.”

Another loud fist to the door makes you stifle a laugh as Wonwoo groans in frustration, leaning his forehead against the door.

“You son of a bitch. First you stole my good tequila and now you fuck in my bed. You owe me liquor and sheets. I am going to kick your ass!”

Pointing at the door that the two of you had used to come into Wonwoo’s room, Joshua whispers for you to sneak out that way as he carefully unlocks the other door and tiptoes towards you.

“Yeah yeah…  You know I’m good for it, man!”

Slipping out the door, you squeal when the other door opens and Wonwoo yells Joshua’s name, only for Joshua to slam the other and grab your hand, telling you to run. With a smile on your face, you keep up with him as he helps you weave through the side yard and out onto the street that you had taken to get to the party. Pulling you into his arms, Joshua laughs as you do, glancing back to make sure Wonwoo wasn’t following you, only to hear his phone go off with a barrage of texts.

Wonwoo: I will fucking kill you.

Wonwoo: You are dead to me.

Wonwoo: I hope she is at least dating you now, asshole

Wonwoo: You are literally disgusting and I hate you

Joshua runs his thumb over the screen with a smirk as he catches his breath before holding his phone up to get a good angle of you both. Leaning in, he kisses you softly as he takes a few pictures, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

Shua: [pictures attached]

Shua: Maybe I’ll put a ring on it too.

Wonwoo: 🤢

© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed

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city lights series | joshua hong (M) [ongoing]

Joshua Hong could be many things. For one, he is your next door neighbour. He is a rockstar, a relentless tease, a menace. But, ironically, he is always willing to lend a hand whenever you need it, regardless of the nature of your desires.

✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader ✮ genre: smut [18+] ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, neighbours with benefits ✮ word count: 153k

▸ playlist ♡

navigation post part i | insomnia The last bit of sanity in your mind vanished the moment before you asked your hot neighbour to be your fuck buddy. Whatever prompted you to muster the courage to get the words out was something you didn't know you had inside you. But he wasn't saying no.

part ii | reverie Joshua Hong was many things aside from your hot neighbour—he was a menace, a relentless tease. But most importantly, he was the first guy to ever make you feel wanted. And you were yet to know how dangerous that was.

part iii | pillow talk Deep down, you knew you were growing an attachment to... whatever this was. Joshua was not intoxicating, you were wrong about that, he was addictive.

part iv | lunacy You could no longer hide your infatuation over Joshua Hong. It was becoming painfully obvious, though you weren't sure to what extent he was aware of this. Or if he even cared, for that matter.

part v | stargazing Joshua should've known the minute he saw you standing outside his door for the first time. Then, maybe he would've gotten the opportunity to make things right with you. But no, he let his hedonistic ways get in the way first. Now, will he get the opportunity to make things right with you?

part vi | blue hour If there was a guideline to how to be a fuckbuddy, you were sure you had already broke every rule in the book. It was ridiculous at this point, and you were so sure that Joshua might be catching all of your signs already, because you couldn't be more obvious. But oh, Joshua is only but a man.

part vii | lullaby For months, you've been hiding how you really felt about your fuckbuddy and the remorse for deceiving him can be sickening. For both of you.

part viii | after dark It all started with a deal with your next door neighbor, Joshua Hong. A little harmless deal that surprisingly led you to finding love; and a part of yourself that you were still discovering.

part viii | after dark pt. ii

side chapter | 3:14 AM

part ix | coming soon

last update: 03.04.2024 (❁´◡`❁) JOIN MY TAGLIST

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badsleeper | city lights series

✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader x yoon jeonghan ✮ genre: a tiny bit of fluff and angst, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, boyfriend joshua, best friend jeonghan, friends to fucking ✮ word count: 24.5k

🎧: step? – bibi | say nothing – yugyeom ft. leehi | nvrmnd – soulbysel ft i.m | bonnie & clyde – dean

→ previous chapters – read more – playlist

› nsfw warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: smut with plot, alcohol consumption (no dub con), threesome, no cheating, another obnoxiously long sex scene, dom joshua, dom jeonghan, brat reader, foul language, a bit of praise/degradation kink, dirty talk, voyeurism, oral sex (m, f), rough bj, cumeating, cumplay, unprotected p in v sex, jealousy, possessiveness, manhandling, tag teaming, rough sex, doggy style, dumbification, near religious experience during sex, crymaxing, use of butt plugs, anal sex, double penetration, aftercare. brat taming: spanking, light bondage. pet names: baby, princess, bunny (hers) babe, baby, baby boy, handsome (joshua's) ✮ a/n: hiii! to preface this i'd like to let you all know that this chapter is canon to the series. and also this is a little self indulgent thing i've been planning for months (literally this draft has been collecting dust since december 2023) so.... i hope y'all indulge with me ε('｡•᎑•`)っ💖 ✮ a/n ii: there's a weird time jump in the middle of the chapter but.... i hit text block limit again and didn't want to split this chapter ✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part ix — finale

"It pains me to say this but, this is not going to work."

An elderly woman standing nearby glanced at you and the tall, handsome man before you. A surprised look on her face upon overhearing him announce such a thing in the middle of an airport.

Jeonghan broke in laughter before you could formulate a response. You rolled your eyes and pushed his shoulder with one hand.

"Very funny," you mumbled embarrassedly.

"Ah, come on, princess, have a little fun," he teased, a smile that only foretold his upcoming playfulness. "Aren't you going to miss me?"

"You'll be gone for a week. I'll survive," you rolled your eyes, arms crossing on your chest. "Maybe I'll miss you a little."

"Well, I won't," he laughed cheekily before continuing on his little act, raising his two hands, palms exposed to you in a gesture of finalization: "I am tired of babysitting you. You're awfully corny and overbearing all the time and I need a break. It's time that we saw different people."

You could tell he was acting, but something about him doing it with such ease made you pause. "Hannie, do you actually think that about me?" you asked, your voice dropping drastically.

Jeonghan's smile dropped, his lips pouting as he spoke: "Of course not, why would you believe that I'd think that?"

You instantly composed into a bright smile. "I'm playing with you," you chirped.

"Tsk, you little rascal," he scoffed, swiftly wrapping an arm around your head. "C'mere," he muttered as he ran his knuckles on the crown of your head.

"Stop it," you hissed, trying to get him to stop hugging your head to breathe.

"Okay, okay. I have to go now," he said, releasing his hold on you to take a look at his watch.

"Have fun on your trip, Jeonghan," you smiled at him, debating whether to hug him goodbye or not. You knew he wasn't big on hugs or gestures of affection, but you couldn't fight the impulse of opening your arms to him.

He paused for one second before taking you in for a quick hug, using his hand to ruffle your hair once again with. "Right," he muttered awkwardly and shifted the weight on the bag hanging on his shoulder.

Jeonghan began to turn away, and you almost wanted to let him walk further but you quickly called. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

He stopped in his tracks, turned, and walked right back to you, fishing something out of the pockets of his black sweats. He grabbed the key to his car from the ring with his fingers, dangling them in front of your eyes.

You reached out to get the key, but he quickly snatched it away before getting it on your grasp.

"You get one scratch on it and it's over for you," he muttered dead serious, eyes locking with yours, he had to tilt his head forward to do so.

"What are you going to do?" you challenged, holding his gaze.

You could tell that he wasn't expecting that, a smirk appeared on his lips. "I'll make you pay for it in some way or form," he shrugged.

"Don't worry I'll take care of it," you said with ease.

"Are you sure, though?" he said, still holding the key to his car up in the air and out of your grasp, he teased nodding his head at you: "Let me see your permit again."

"Jeonghan, you need to go now or you're going to miss your flight," you rolled your eyes.

"Fine," he said, lowering his arm for you to grab the key, but quickly snatched it again. "No eating in my car. And don't have your boyfriend fuck you in there, trust me, I'll know."

"Jeonghan!" you squealed dramatically and looked around you to make sure no one overheard him.

However the man in front of you laughed at you with amusement, his nose wrinkling, mouth opened wide as he did so. But he finally handed you the key to his car.

"One scratch," he lifted one finger at you as a stern warning, but the smiling features of his face betrayed him. He patted your head one more time, turning away as he said. "Try not to miss me too much, princess."

Something deep within you twisted in nervousness, so hard that it robbed you of speech. You wished that you had recovered fast enough to tell him something, anything. But by then, Jeonghan had already disappeared in the sea of people, you couldn't even spot him by the yellow hoodie he was wearing. His favorite one.

With some reluctance, you turned to walk out and towards the spot Jeonghan had parked his flashy and elegant car. In some way the black BMW M3 screamed rich guy with a very expensive taste. At first glance even, anyone would think it's a car for someone serious, not the friend that has the comedic skill of a clown.

But as you slid yourself into the driver's seat, a deep sense of alarm and nervousness kicked right in. Releasing a shaky sigh, you gathered your hair in a ponytail, securing it with a pink scrunchie; somehow having your hair out of the way made you feel focused.

It had been a while since you drove a car. Reminiscing on the very old skill you acquired during your college days, you adjusted the seat so that your arms could reach the steering wheel without stretching your arms too much. Then you did the same for the mirrors, catching the anxious expression on your face.

But despite your self-consciousness, you arrived home safe. As a celebratory act you untied your hair, leaving your scrunchie behind, perhaps forgotten in Jeonghan's car with your many other lost scrunchies.

Deeply compelling, bloody, and sexy.

Those were the words swimming around most of the early reviews of your book. For better or worse, the popularity of your book had risen quite dramatically even days before its official release, so you kind of had to brace yourself for all kinds of chatter around it.

You had to refrain yourself from seeing reviews so early, since you didn't want to be influenced while working on the draft for the second book in the trilogy.

So needless to say, your book is doing fine.

Stepping out of the elevator and into the hallway that led into your apartment, you noticed quickly that the door next to yours was open. A tight, flashing pain crossed your heart when you understood that someone was viewing Joshua's old apartment.

It was inevitable that you would get new neighbors, and it seemed funny for a second to you that you were stuck with grief for the time when Joshua was just thirty seconds away from you.

Joshua was still away. He left the following day of your book release, only after pampering you with love, and anything that you requested. He would only be away for a few more days to finish recording Midnight Haze's first studio album, and then he'd be back, though for how long he didn't know yet.

Back in your apartment, you went directly to your bedroom, opened the drawers of your dresser and started to move your stuff to make space for Joshua's clothes. Subconsciously, you started threading on the intricate details that you needed to get done for the second book draft. Since there was nothing better you could occupy your mind with, that could actually put you to work.

But your thoughts inevitably drifted away as you cleared one of the drawers for your boyfriend's stuff. Then, you found yourself thinking of him, of the time he was here last; he made you breakfast before you woke up, you found him munching on some blueberries as he served you a plate of french toast.

Joshua had been keeping his promise, getting your texts back and calling you every night before he goes to bed; he does this last thing even though you might not share the same time zones—he knows that you'll be awake.

Sleeping alone resulted even more difficult, now that your body has had a taste of what it feels like sleeping in the warmth of your boyfriend's loving embrace. Even though you haven't shared that many nights with him as an actual couple, it was something you wished you had more of.

"All I'm saying is that food tastes better with a recently cleaned mouth."

"That's psycho behavior," you replied, rolling your eyes to the ceiling, while holding your phone to your ear.

"Oh, so you're saying that you never wash your mouth, got it," Jeonghan said jokingly, he had been going for what felt like hours.

"No, you're saying that orange juice tastes better after brushing your teeth!" you squealed, huffing loudly when you heard his mocking chuckle of his.

"I'm just teasing you," he mumbled.

"I know, I hate it," you said, but there was a smile on your face.

You heard the loud slurping noises as Jeonghan ate noodles. "Shouldn't you be asleep right now, by the way?" he asked and you could tell that his mouth was full.

"Can't sleep," you muttered as you scrolled through the draft to your second book. "I have a ton of work to do."

"Wait, you're working? Isn't it like... three in the morning right now?"

You hated that you could almost picture him raising his wrist to check out his smartwatch.

“Yeah, it is,” you mumbled aloofly as you skimmed through one of the monitors of your computer. 

“God, you are a workaholic,” he tutted. “Don’t you ever take a break?” 

“I do whenever I submit a draft,” you mused, smiling to the irony. 

“You should be resting,” he insisted. “You know, the hotel where I’m staying right now is very nice and it’s not as expensive as I thought it would be…”

Something caught your eye when you opened up your emails tab. “Oh,” you uttered when your eyes went over the mail. 

“What?” you heard Jeonghan reply. “I’m just saying that you and Joshua could come together, you know, you both deserve a break from work.”

You paused, focusing on the contents of the email that you received hours ago, but neglected since you were preoccupied with drafting the second book. “Oh,” you gasped. 

“Hello?” Jeonghan said after a few seconds. “Did I say something wrong?” 

“No, not at all,” you laughed in utter bewilderment. 

“I am very confused,” he confessed. “What’s going on?”

“I am being nominated for an award,” you gasped. “Well, not me, but my book.” 

“Same thing,” he replied. “That’s exciting news, princess. Did you find out just now?”

“Yeah! I’m just reading the email right now,” you laughed with incredulous joy. 

“See? That’s something to celebrate,” he insisted. “Another reason why you should take a break.”

“Or it is another reason to keep working so the second book meets the readers’ expectations,” you countered with a mad rush in your brain, pushing you to sit through more hours of typing. 

“You are so annoying,” Jeonghan said, but you knew by the tone in his voice that he was smiling. “Listen, I booked a tour and it’s just about to start so, call you later?” 

“Yeah, sure,” you blinked back to reality. “Enjoy your tour, Jeongjeong.”

“Thank you.”

“Oh, wait!” you squealed. 

“Yeah?” he waited. 

“I forgot to ask you,” you sighed embarrassedly, bringing your palm to your forehead with a smack. “Joshua is arriving in a few hours and I wanted to ask you if I could borrow your car.” 

There was a pause, and you almost decided to take it back and tell him that you could take a taxi there. 

“Of course, princess,” he replied. “You don’t have to ask.”

“Sure?” 

“Just remember, no scratches and no fucking in my car,” he giggled deviously when you squealed out his name.

The line went dead after that. 

You took part of Jeonghan’s advice, shutting the computer off and deciding to go to bed and attempt to sleep again. 

The pink scrunchie was sitting around the rear mirror of Jeonghan's car when you slid yourself into the driver's seat. Letting out a big puff of air, you gathered your hair all in a ponytail, securing it with the scrunchie and then started the car. 

You were extremely nervous. And not because you were driving the most expensive thing you had ever touched in your life. But because Joshua was finally coming home from the tour. It felt like he had gone for so long it seemed ridiculous to you that only 4 weeks and a half had passed. 

It was the reason why you left your apartment with ample time to get to the airport on time and also to drive at a very slow pace, you were simply too nervous to go in the middle lane. 

Maybe you were, in fact, an old lady. At least in spirit, as Jeonghan would say.  

You remembered the fact that not only Jeonghan had called you that, but also Joshua called you something similar once, a long time ago it felt like. You thought about how similar your boyfriend and his best friend were in some aspects in relation to their personality. 

It seemed obvious that the similarities would make them friends. But sometimes, it felt too eerie to be just a coincidental case of telling the same jokes. 

When you got to the airport, you still had about half an hour to kill yet. And you were grateful that you had brought a book with your person. To kill time and to occupy your brain with something other than work. Or Joshua. Or Jeonghan. 

So you sat back comfortably on the driver's seat. Getting the faint smell of Jeonghan's cologne, and even if you dared to admit it, you got a vague smell of the flavor of vape that he really likes. The green apple one. 

You shook your head slightly, trying to regain focus on the words printed on the book you were holding against the steering wheel. 

You thought about the soft leather coating the steering wheel, how it was so new that it still had that brand new smell to it. Probably why Jeonghan is so overbearing about his car, is because it's so expensive and new that he wants absolutely nothing to taint it, such as eating on its leather seats. Or fucking.

You sighed in complete resignation, dropping your book back into your bag and opened the door. You stepped out of the black car, getting an odd look from a man that was passing by. 

"Huh," you huffed to yourself. Stepping out of a luxurious car really gave you a sense of dominance, and you found out you liked it. 

You locked the car and walked to the big doors of the vast airport. Being welcomed with buzzing noise and a ton of people walking around, some hurriedly, some laid back. 

You checked out your phone in the hopes of having a text from Joshua, but you knew it was nearly futile. He was still in the air, so that meant he was using that time to get some sleep. 

"Mmm," you hummed, pursing your lips and looking around to decide what to do in order to kill the time. And to think of something that wasn't fucking in a car. So you decided to get in line for an obnoxiously expensive cup of coffee and decided to get a cookie with it too. 

You knew that your lack of focus was partly due to your bad sleeping habits. But you were also so nervous about Joshua coming home that your brain struggled to put your thoughts in order. 

A quarter of an hour passed by at a slug's pace. Joshua texted you simply one word, "Landed." 

you: I'll meet you here 🙂  Josh ♡: you're here at the airport baby?  you: I am 

Joshua stopped texting and you assumed that he had to pick up his luggage. So you rose to your feet, keeping yourself on the lookout for the face you were dying to see. 

But the place was swarming with dozens of different faces, it was hard to keep up, and due to your lack of focus it was a bit more difficult to be fast and discern strangers. 

A tall man of ashy blond hair drew your attention instinctively, raising some alarm in your sluggish brain that you knew him. It took you seconds, seeing the guitar case on one hand, his duffel bag strapped to his shoulder to understand that Joshua was walking towards you, a shy bur fond smile painted on his face. 

He must have seen the surprise in your facial expression, because his eyes lit up. "Hi bunny," he muttered. 

You simply just threw your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes to clash your lips against his. "Josh…" 

"Baby," he giggled when you pressed your lips repeatedly against his lips, cheeks and the tip of his nose.

"Missed you," you mumbled, forgetting that you were in a very public space with tons of eyes watching you shower your boyfriend with kisses. 

"I missed you too, bunny," he sighed, the arm around you tightening its grip, bringing you closer to him. 

"Let's go home," your tone quivered slightly. 

"I love the sound of that," he said, his glinting eyes smiling at you. 

"Come on," you grabbed his hand and pulled him to the exit. 

"Hold on. Should we grab a taxi or…"

"Don't worry, I got it," you smiled anxiously, fishing out the keys to Jeonghan's car and displaying them in your hand. 

"What's this?" he asked and immediately added: "You got a car?"

"No, silly," you giggled sweetly. "It's Jeonghan's."

He sent you an bewildered look. "He left his car with you?" 

"Yeah, he lets me use it while he's not here," you shrugged with ease. "Come on, baby boy. I'm driving."

Joshua smiled with a fondness you recognized he expressed whenever he found you cute. But he fell in step with you, lacing your fingers with his as you walked out of the airport and to the parking lot. 

"This is exciting," he said once he closed the door to the passenger's seat.

"Put your seatbelt on," you told him, sending him a shameful glance. "Please."

Joshua let out a soft giggle. "Sure thing, ma'am." 

"Don't call me ma'am," you said with a whiny tone in frustration. 

"Okay," he whispered, and you saw his downturned smile, he was trying not to laugh. 

"And try your best not to distract me," you requested firmly as you gathered your hair in a ponytail. 

"How would I distract you?" he asked with genuine curiosity in his tone. 

"You just do," you mumbled, reaching out to brush his long hair with your fingers. 

"Do you like it?" he cocked his blond hair forward slightly, letting you thread the pads of your fingers through his new hair. 

"I do," you admitted. "Though I think I'd even like you bald."

Joshua chuckled sweetly, lifting his chin to you as he said. "Don't tempt me."

"Would you do it?" you asked, seeing the devious glint in his eyes. 

"Maybe time will do it for me, but yeah. If you wanted me," he said, but there was a hollow tone in his words, his gaze was focused on your eyes, and then it moved to your lips.

His long fingers cupped your chin gently and his eyes, briefly finding yours before he leaned forward to lock his lips with yours, his breath hitching audibly as you moaned when his tongue traced a line on your lower lip. 

"See, you're distracting," you mumbled, before diving in for a deeper kiss, demanding more, trying to make up for lost time. 

"Sorry, baby," he giggled and braced himself for a slap that you delivered on his shoulder. 

"Put your seatbelt on," you hissed, settling back to the seat and starting the car. 

"Yes, ma'am," Joshua breathed out, putting his seatbelt on as you drove out of the parking lot and into the highway.

Despite Joshua being on a short break, he still had a lot of things to tend to. Primarily, visiting his family, his mom and spending some quality time with them. Secondly, he gathered his stuff to bring into your apartment, thus finally moving in with you. Between the move, and him catching up with his life back home, he barely had time to spend with you.

Three days after Joshua arrived home, and deciding that a very long weekend's rest was sorely deserved, you and Joshua boarded a plane, also partly convinced by Jeonghan to go on vacation where he was located at the moment. 

One thing led to another and you were now resting on a beautiful suite, after a long night of traveling with your boyfriend, boarding planes and getting little to no sleep during the flight.

So you were slowly awakened by the gentle sound of waves crashing against the distant shore outside the hotel windows. When you opened your eyes, you were greeted by the brightness of the white room, the curtains opened to let in the pale morning light.

As you lay face down in the large bed covered with white sheets, plush pillows, and duvet, you blindly reached out one arm to find both sides cold. So you turned your head to try to get a view of the room around you.

"Josh?" you called, even though you were aware that you weren't getting a response.

Your phone was left abandoned on the bedside table, but the bed was so large and you were slotted right in the center of it, and being so that you were still drowsy from the very long sleep, you didn't feel like moving yet. So you closed your eyes again, letting yourself drift back into a dream with a deep sigh. 

When you woke up again, feeling ready to roll out of bed, you realized that you wouldn't be able to reach Joshua on his phone, since he had left it beside yours, much as if he had preemptively left it behind so he wouldn't have to worry about getting more calls, more messages.

Fighting your way out of the tucked bed sheets, you decided to get a shower to wash away the last slivers of drowsiness that still wanted to cling onto your body.

So you were returning to the bedroom, drying your hair absentmindedly while checking your phone when you heard Joshua return to the suite quietly, probably assuming that he would find you asleep.

But upon seeing you sitting at the foot of the bed, he paused for a second.

"Morning," you muttered dryly.

"Hi baby," he replied with a puffy sigh.

Joshua was covered in sweat, making his ashy blond hair stick to the sides of his face and forehead. He was breathing tiredly, tongue hanging in a gesture of exhaustion.

"Went for a run," he commented in passing, kicking his trainers off. "The weather is nice, it's really hot."

His arms arched back to grab at the hem of his sleeveless tee, yanking it off his body with one move to toss it. Your boyfriend continued to peel his sweaty clothes off, revealing his body as he tossed more clothes on the armchair in the corner of the room.

"Do you have somewhere to be?" you asked slowly as you watched him walk off to the bathroom.

"Have to meet up with a potential manager," he called loudly as he started a shower. "Apparently he's taken an interest in us from a while back. And he's here so I thought it would be a good opportunity to meet up."

You nodded, pursing your lips in contempt as he walked back to toss his boxers with the rest of his dirty clothes.

"I'd ask you to join me in the shower but," he nodded at you.

"Yeah, don't worry about it," you raised from the bed to remove the bathrobe and start dressing up.

If Joshua noticed you were in a bad mood then, he made no comment about it. He just turned around, closing the door of the bathroom to continue with his shower.

You decided to busy yourself, dressing up extra slowly, pulling out from your luggage a lingerie set that you brought in the hopes of it being complimented, and a beautiful summer dress in a color that accentuated your body prettily.

Your boyfriend came back shortly, the lower half of his body after draped in a towel, skin glistening wet now but all clean. His ashy blond hair was pulled back now, dripping onto his neck.

"We could do something tonight," he muttered with some caution as he removed the towel from his body and started to get ready for his appointment.

"Yeah, I'd like that," you pressed your lips into a smile, but even as you did so, you felt unconvincing.

You were suddenly torn with your own reproach at him for barely even spending time with you and at the same time, you couldn't believe that what it took for you to be distracted away from that state of scorn was seeing him naked.

However, Joshua knew what he was playing at, he had you completely figured out. He opened one door to the closet, grabbing the first pair of briefs he found, using his body's motion as he turned to sneak a look at you, finding your gaze trained on his body.

"You're not mad at me anymore?" he asked, a slow smirk curving his pillowy lips.

"I was not mad," you replied with a small voice, sitting back on the foot of the bed.

"Mm, okay," he nodded with his head once, putting on the stretchy boxers with a swift move.

Then one of his knees sank on the edge of the bed, leaning his body forward, motioning your body back on the mattress. A low grunt escaped you as he was now pinning you with his own weight, your pretty sundress being pulled back on your thighs by a large hand.

"You are terrible at lying," he mused with a half smile, the studded eyebrow twitching up briefly. "Even moreso, you're terrible at keeping promises."

You let out a muffle whine when Joshua pressed his hips against yours, making you feel his growing bulge on your core.

"What are you talking about," you muttered, torn between paying attention to what his body was doing and his accusatory words.

"You promised you would tell me everything," he said darkly, but leaned his head sideways to reach your neck with his mouth, muttering against your skin: "You're mad at me, I can tell."

"Am not," you replied, fidgeting under his weight, hands clutching at his bare and stocky shoulders.

"Try again," he chuckled, pressing his lips and tongue on the sweet spot below your earlobe, sucking in a love bite, having a flash of arousal cross your body straight to your core.

"Fuck," your legs tensed up when he started to suck on your skin harsher. "Gentle, Joshua."

"Answer the question," he immediately retorted, nudging his nose on your jawline to lean your head back, so he could run the tip of his tongue on neck, littering it with kisses.

It was hard to focus now. But with a low gasp, you replied. "You are bad at keeping promises too," you stated weakly.

A hand snaked on top of your chest, fingers raking on your skin as he yanked the side part of the sundress to prop another merciless lovebite in a collarbone.

"You-you told me you would make time for me," you stammered, feeling stupid over your sudden loss of boldness.

"And I did," he said sharply, moving his head to look you in the eyes. "Baby, I've cleared my schedule for us tonight."

You pouted briefly, bringing up a finger to caress his beautiful lips.

"Now you, on the other hand, haven't replied to my question," he muttered, his words partly muffled by the fingers on his lips. He shifted his weight, propping one elbow beside you so he could grab your hand.

You dared to roll your eyes hard at him, but that in turn made him smile broadly at you.

"You're still mad at me, but that doesn't stop you from eyefucking me," a wolfish grin appeared on his beautiful face. "Are you wet right now, baby?"

Joshua pressed his lips against the pads of your fingers as his eyes looked at you fondly, amused by your torn behavior. You nodded with your head in affirmation, unable to bring yourself to speak the words.

"You've been neglecting me a little," you whispered, shifting your gaze to his collarbones to avoid his.

"How does it feel, baby?" Joshua asked, releasing your hand to stroke the side of your head, gently threading his long fingers through your wet hair.

"Is this some kind of punishment, then?" you snapped, feeling something click inside your brain.

"No, of course not," he leaned his head closer, pressing his lips flush against yours, slowly at first, repeatedly as he said. "But you told me, you promised me you would talk to me. I have to search for ways for you to do it."

"I just haven't had the chance to, we've both been busy," you retorted with a pained smile, trying to hold his gaze.

"You don't have any issues telling Jeonghan stuff."

"That's hurtful, Joshua," you muttered with a tiny voice, shrinking under his weight.

"Am I lying?"

"Joshua, he is my friend, friends tell each other things, is that bad?" you were applying pressure on his shoulders now, trying to make him budge.

"And I am your boyfriend," he blinked, as equally offended as you. "It's also hurtful that you trust him more than me."

"Is this because I didn't tell you about the award?" you finally caught on. 

Maybe you didn't care about the award, maybe you did. But the truth was, you simply forgot about telling your boyfriend about it and in passing, Jeonghan mentioned it in front of Joshua, in a manner of congratulating you for the milestone. 

Joshua retreated his body, rising up from the bed with an irked air around him, you saw the features of his face harden and he turned away. It was clear to you now that he was jealous and you almost felt stupid for not realizing it sooner.

"No," he replied nonchalantly as he fetched a denim shirt from the closet, putting it on and as he buttoned it up, he rasped: "Yes."

You shrugged slowly. "I found out when I was on the phone with him," you explained, though the feeling of guilt started to set in.

"Still, you didn't mention it to me."

You scrunched up your face in shame and guilt. He was right. You found out about the award days ago, and you failed to tell him about it, all because of your stupid lack of focus lately.

"I'm sorry," you said as you sat up on the bed again, fixing your dress. "I should've said something."

Joshua turned to find his jeans, putting on the ripped black denim in one go. He kept pensively quiet as he slipped on his chelsea boots and rose to his feet.

"I'll call you when I get off," he said, stepping closer to the foot of the bed to cup the back of your head with one hand, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"Joshua..." you started, trying to reach for his hand to stop him leaving abruptly.

"It's okay," his gaze softened before his lips captured your own with a light kiss. "I'm not mad. I just wished you'd talked to me."

"And I wish that you could actually make time for me," you whispered, feeling your heart race under the stress of fighting with him.

"I know," he replied in the same fashion as you. "I know baby, I don't enjoy this either... I'm sorry too."

You nodded with your head, choking up on words that you thought of telling him as you waited before he got back to the hotel room. With a frustrated sob, you reached to cup the back of his head too, bringing him closer for a deep kiss.

"I love you," you whispered.

"I love you too, baby. I'll meet you later," he replied, pressing one final kiss to your lips and then your forehead before slipping from your grasp and walking out the room, thus leaving you alone again.

For what could amount to years, you have been really good at taking yourself out to dates. It had been so long since you dated that you were accustomed to being on your own, and you found out that you liked it. You relished in solitude.

You made yourself a mini trip. First you went to grab yourself some breakfast in a lovely restaurant with an outdoors table set with a nice view to the ocean. Then, you walked down the streets, sightseeing in the pretty places, going inside the stores that looked appealing until you reached a museum.

It had been within your plans to maybe go there with Joshua for a little date. Perhaps even, go to the beach together. But you swiftly put those ideas aside, realizing that due to the time crunch he was in it was probable that you weren't meeting him until sundown.

So you were strolling around the different pieces of art on display, fanning yourself with the brochure you were given upon entering the place. The hair on the back of your neck was sticking to your skin due to the sweat that trickled down your head during your walk there.

"I should've known I'd find you here."

You instantly spun on your feet to look back. Jeonghan was closing the distance between you, hands deep in the pockets of his shorts. Despite the weather outside, he was wearing a beanie, probably to cover up his messy long hair.

"What are you doing here?" you inquired with a shaky tone from the surprise of seeing him there. Of all the places, this is one you didn't think you would meet.

"I like museums," he shrugged, but then added: "They make up for great instagram photos."

He pressed his lips in the tiniest of smiles when you rolled your eyes, smirking at him as he finally walked up to you.

"Are you alone?" he asked, looking around the large room. "Where is your boyfriend?"

You saw it in his eyes that he already knew, but nodded when you only muttered. "Working."

"Trouble in paradise, again?" he mused, tilting his head to one side, reading your facial features expertly.

"It's nothing," you averted your gaze from him and onto the display you had in front of you.

But the deep feeling of remorse parking on the pit of your stomach was eating you up. You hated that you felt guilty about telling Jeonghan stuff about your relationship, you hated the fact that Joshua had brought it up.

"I don't know if this will work, Jeonghan," you whispered despite the tears threatening to break you.

"This?"

When you could finally look back at him, there was a frown on his face, the soft lines between his eyebrows deepening as he tried to figure you out.

Then you saw it when he connected your words together, he released the tension on his brow.

"Oh, don't be silly," he tried to smile, to see if you replied with one of your own but when you didn't, and you couldn't stop your lip from quivering, he sighed. "You're only saying that because you're scared. Talk it out with him."

"But we don't actually see each other, and when we do, we don't... talk much," you muttered shamefully, driving your gaze elsewhere and resumed your walk around the gallery.

"What are you actually worried about, then?" he fell into step closely behind you. "From my point of view, you seem like you're only mad that you're not spending time together like you used to."

"But," you blurted, turning around to face him again, making him stop in his walk abruptly before bumping into you. "Sorry."

"Don't be," he whispered, but there was something in his mannerism that made you pause. "But...?"

"It's nothing."

You flicked your hair off your sweaty neck, to keep fanning yourself with the brochure.

Jeonghan's eyes followed your movements with his eyes, inevitably spotting the red hickey below your earlobe that your boyfriend made before leaving the hotel room and a hot wave of embarrassment washed over your face, making you drop your gaze to the ground.

"Tell you what," he muttered, seemingly unaffected by the very toxic display of possessiveness. "Let's go grab a beer and something to eat. Forget about all of this, maybe that's what you really need."

You gathered the strength to look at his face again. Jeonghan pressed his lips in a cute smile, making tiny dimples show on his chin.

"Yeah, okay, I'd like that," you decided with a nod of your head.

"Let's go," he cocked his head in the direction of the museum's entrance and started to walk.

You followed him in silence, feeling uneasy still by Jeonghan seeing your hickeys for some reason you couldn't explain.

Your fingers dragged a large fry on a puddle of ketchup on your plate, you were conscious that your stomach was full, but you were in a mood in which you preferred to keep eating instead of talking about your feelings.

"Are you ordering more?" Jeonghan eyed the lonely fry sitting on the plate, and then your face as you munched silently.

"I don't think I can eat more," you admitted with a slurred speech.

"Tsk," he clicked his tongue with an amused smile.

Jeonghan raised his wrist, pulling his sleeve to uncover his smartwatch.

"D'you think Joshua is still in that meeting?" he asked with some caution to the look he sent you.

It had been hours since your last interaction with your boyfriend, his last text five hours ago read that his impromptu meeting was extending and that it was too important for his band to just cut it short or postpone.

"I think that he forgot about me," you replied bitterly, lifting the large jar which was half full of beer. "And I don't care if he did, I don't wanna think about him."

Worry flashed across Jeonghan's face but he quickly composed himself to ask for the bill and then he turned to you.

"What?" you blurted.

"Do you know how to play pool?"

"Nope," you replied in the same manner.

"Come on, I'll teach you," he pulled out a bill that would cover both of your meals and stood from the booth.

"What, wait," you stammered before grabbing your things and following him out the restaurant.

"Careful," he muttered when you caught up with him, drunk enough that you nearly stumbled against his frame. His hands came to your arms behind you to help you stabilize.

"Thank you, Jeongjeong," you muttered with a chuckle. "And for the food too. Next one's on me, alright?"

The weather had dropped dramatically, the skirt of your pretty summer dress rippled against the breeze that swept down the street.

"Don't worry about it," he said, the hair that wasn't secured by his beanie ruffled against his neck.

"Oh," you uttered when your phone suddenly started buzzing in your handbag.

But just as you were about to see what it was, Jeonghan was tugging your arm with his hand, pulling you aside on the sidewalk before you stomped against a lightpost. You yelped and staggered against his frame, a drunken laugh erupting out of you.

"Watch where you're going, princess," he chuckled, grabbing your arms to keep you on your feet.

"Sorry, sorry," you mumbled, raising your chin to meet his gaze.

You realized with a start just how close his face was with yours, your breath hitched audibly and you pulled back from him.

"Don't be," he said and turned to the door behind him, which you realized was the entrance to a bar. "After you."

You breathed out in utter embarrassment, thinking of saying something to him, maybe cut the outing and leave to the hotel room.

But Jeonghan smiled cutely at you, cocking his head towards the door, motioning you inside.

You walked into the buzzing of the bar, instantly being swept by the dark mood of its interior. Exposed brick walls, checkered sticky floors, dimly lit tables, the distant sounds of the pool tables in the back of the place.

"Come," Jeonghan muttered on your side, and you followed him closely through the wooden chairs and tables until you reached the rows of pool tables and found one that was vacant for you two.

Jeonghan ordered two beers and paid in advance. Turning to you with a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Hope you brought cash," he smirked, holding a bill between his pointer and middle finger to you as he set it on the bartop mounted on the wall behind you.

"My wallet cries every time I'm with you," you joked, settling your bag on the bartop and pulling out a bill to stamp it on top of his.

"Don't act like you don't enjoy this," he grabbed one of the cue sticks and handed it to you. "Ladies first."

"Don't you think it's unfair to place bets when I don't know how to play?" you inquired, tilting your head to one side.

Jeonghan grabbed the recently brought beer bottles, handed you one and then he raised his to you. "I'll go easy on you."

You clinked the neck of your beer with his. "I'll take your word for it, Yoon Jeonghan."

Jeonghan tipped the bottle between his smiling lips, drinking in with you.

"But first," he mused, pointing at your face with the top of his bottle. "You need to answer your phone."

You blinked in surprise and turned to the bartop to find your phone buzzing and Joshua's picture being displayed on the screen.

"Oh," you scrambled to get your phone and pressed on the green button. "Yes?"

"Baby? Where are you?" Joshua replied immediately. "I've been trying to reach you."

"I'm sorry, Josh, I... am at a bar," you frowned at your own wording, but tried to get it out as sober as possible.

"At a bar?" he inquired and you could almost see the bewildered expression on his face as his voice sounded. "By yourself?"

"I am wi-with Jeonghan," you rubbed your fingers on the bridge of your nose so hard your eyes watered. "I can send you the location so you can come join us."

"I thought tonight was just going to be me and you," he muttered but you could tell in his tone that he wasn't angry, just confused.

"And I thought that you had cleared your schedule for me," you bit back, however, anger flaring in your body, accelerating your heartbeat.

"I'm sorry, baby," he muttered, his voice dropping into a low rasp. "I thought it would be a short meeting but we got into contracting and planning and time just flew out of my hands."

You rolled your eyes, which were stinging with tears. "I'll send you the location, okay."

"Okay," he whispered.

And then you hung up.

"Is he coming?" Jeonghan called as he removed the pool rack gathering the balls.

"Yeah," you replied as you sent your location into the chat you shared with your boyfriend.

"Nice," he smiled briefly. "Come here, I'll teach you the rules."

You grabbed your cue pick and walked around the pool table where your best friend stood, hands busy holding his beer and pick. Jeonghan took a sip from his beer bottle, smacking his lips as he swallowed happily.

"Pay attention," he advised before starting to tell you the rules to playing pool.

It was a fairly simple game, though you couldn't help but feel your mind slipping away, from thoughts pertaining to your boyfriend, to the way that Jeonghan drank from the beer bottle, back to your boyfriend, to the way that Jeonghan grabbed the cue pick–

"Okay?" Jeonghan asked, his brown eyes roaming on your face, noticing without much effort that you had spaced out through the whole thing.

"Okay," you nodded with your head, cheeks blazing hot in utter shame.

"Okay, then," he decided with a nod of his head. "You do the break, princess."

Your breath hitched as you placed the cue pick awkwardly, avoiding Jeonghan's gaze but once you did look at him, he was biting his lip to avoid smiling at your clumsiness.

"Okay, another thing," he said, setting aside his cue pic and beer bottle and shuffling towards you. Jeonghan bent over beside you, his hands grabbing yours to set it on the pool table. "This is how you place your hand, see?" he turned his head to look at you.

You weren't looking at his hands on yours, however. You were completely absorbed by how close his body was to yours, how on edge the warmth of his body seemed to be putting you in.

"Yeah," you whispered when his eyes dropped to find your mouth.

"You need to keep it firm so your stroke doesn't waver," he explained, but the tone of his voice had dropped. "Understood?"

"Understood," you replied.

"And your arm back here will do all the work," he said, his hand coming up to touch your elbow. "I don't want you moving other parts of your body, got it?"

"I got it."

"Okay, now. Go," he stood up straight to go around the table on the opposite side to yours, coughing loudly as he always did to clear his throat.

"Ok," you whispered to yourself, your lip tucked behind your front teeth in concentration as you pulled your hand holding the cue pick back and motioned it forward with a thrust.

The stroke wasn't as half-bad as you had expected it to be. You stood back and watched the balls break their formation and roam on the pool table.

"Nice," Jeonghan praised with a nod of his head, tipping the beer bottle on his mouth briefly. "You got one ball in a pocket here," he pointed with his cue pick to one corner of the pool table.

"Oh, did I?" you perked up. "Which is it?"

"Solid. So I go for the stripes," he said, pulling his sleeves up, thus revealing his watch on one wrist, and on the other, something you immediately spotted as something familiar.

"Hey! That's my scrunchie!" you jumped and ran to the other side of the table to where he stood. "Give it back!"

Jeonghan raised his wrist in the air, stepping back. "It was in my car," he said with a low chuckle of his.

"It's mine!" you squealed, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Founders keepers, princess," he said in a mocking tone. "It's mine now."

"Jeonghan!" you jumped to reach his wrist, but he simply just stepped back.

"Back off," he muttered with a grin, and then he casted a look above your head. "Ah, Joshuji, you're here!"

Your breath caught in your throat and you twirled on your feet, Joshua walked through the rows of occupied tables, his frame obscured by the lack of lighting as opposed to the very bright lamp on top of the pool table you were standing by.

But upon seeing him, you couldn't help but feel your face being taken over by a big smile. You could tell that seeing you smiling at him had an effect on him, he replied with a smile on his own, leaning down to press his lips against yours. "Hi handsome," you mused.

"Hi beautiful," he replied warmly and turned to greet his best friend.

"We were just starting," Jeonghan said. "I'll go grab you a beer, hold on."

And without any preamble, he left straight to the bar, thus leaving you alone with your boyfriend. So you reluctantly moved your gaze to meet his, finding an apologetic expression on his face.

"Baby, I–,"

"How was your meeting?" you asked in a sweet tone, cutting off the sentence you knew he would say.

Joshua blinked. "Fine, it was fine," he frowned slightly. "We have a new manager."

"That's great!" you smiled at him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm glad. I'm also glad you're here."

"You're not mad at me?" he inquired, seemingly thrown off by your attitude.

You sighed in resignation. "I'm not mad," you decided. "I just want us to have some fun tonight, okay?"

"Okay," he replied, pressing his lips into a tight smile. "Thank you, baby."

"Don't mention it," you stood on your tiptoes to reach his lips, giving him a brief kiss.

Jeonghan came back, offering Joshua a new bottle of beer. “Thanks, man,” Joshua smiled at him and then turned to you. “I didn’t know you liked to play.”

“This is my first time,” you grinned. “Jeongjeong was just teaching me how to play.”

“Wanna team up with her?” Jeonghan asked Joshua, a devious smile appearing on his lips. “Price of entry is five.”

“What? That doesn’t make sense,” you interjected, acting scandalized. “If he’s with me we count as one person.” 

“Fair enough,” Jeonghan shrugged. “You should know Joshua is terrible at this, by the way.”

You turned to look at your boyfriend, who just rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to him, baby,” he said, placing a hand on your lower back as he looked at the pool table. “What are you?” 

“Stripes,” you mumbled. 

“Solid,” Jeonghan corrected. 

Joshua giggled, tipping his head back. “Oh, baby. You should stop betting against this guy.”

“It’s fun,” you shrugged, watching Jeonghan lean down on the table, his eyes set on his game as he calculated the direction, pointing the cue stick with a firm hand on the green surface of the table. 

And with a hard thrust, the point of the cue stick hit the white ball, sending two stripe balls to the edge of the table, one falling into a pocket. 

“Nice,” Jeonghan hissed with a satisfied smile, looking at the ball that almost made it to a pocket, thus possibly securing an easy game. 

“My turn,” you mumbled with a sigh, feeling shy now that you were being watched by your boyfriend. 

You analyzed the balls spread around on the table for a second. 

“Remember, the striped ones are mine,” Jeonghan said with a slight amusement to his tone. 

“I know!” you replied. 

So you bent over the table, taking your time to be certain that your hand was placed correctly on the table and the other secured the cue stick with firmness before you thrusted your arm forth, sending the white ball towards your target ball. 

“Oof, close, princess!” Jeonghan watched and his body swayed to the side as he put one arm around his cue and hugged it.

“Umn,” you pouted and looked over your shoulder to find Joshua. He was leaning back against the bar top, looking over you with a small smile on his beautiful face. 

“Want help?” he offered, pushing his body off the bar top and stepping closely behind you. 

“Yeah,” you breathed out some of your embarrassment. “I’m terrible at this.” 

“You’re learning, baby,” he offered you a kind smile. “Nobody is good at this at first try.”

"I was," Jeonghan protested, bent over the table, and smashed the end of his cue against the white ball, pushing the ball that was already on the edge. 

"No, you weren't," Joshua bit back at him, shaking his head, a hint of annoyance in his tone. But his gaze softened when he found your face again. "You need to add more impulse to your stroke, moving your hip forward."

You nodded slowly before bending over on the pool table, gripping your cue firmly on one hand and setting the end on the other. Joshua's hands came to aid the position of your body, the touch on your body sent a shot of arousal through your body, as though a bolt of lightning.

 Joshua leaned over on your side, his body really close to yours, his hands shifting your body. "When you move the cue to hit, make sure you put some weight on this side," he said, his hand clenching your hip over your pretty dress and moving it forward slightly. "Keep your aiming arm firm and your elbow straight, okay?" 

"Okay," you whispered, looking at his rosy and puffy lips.

Joshua noticed immediately, the shadow of a smile twitching on his lips before pulling his body back. "Go."

You wished you could say what happened in that moment, but it definitely aroused something deeply taunting within you. Bending over the pool table, you felt two sets of eyes on you.

Jeonghan stood at the other end of the table, his eyes trained on you. And you suddenly realized that his eyes were not on the game. He was looking at you. 

Casting a look over your shoulder. Joshua was also looking at you, his ashy blond head tilted to one side, his dark beautiful eyes wandering over your body, stopping to read your face, understanding what he saw in your warm cheeks, in your flustered face. 

A slow, knowing smile stretched on his lips. "Eyes on the table," he muttered before the moment stretched any longer. 

The game ended a moment later with Jeonghan collecting your money, a sly grin as he said: "We should do this again sometime." 

Despite having lost against him, you nodded. "I'd like that." 

You had enjoyed some part of playing pool, that being the times where you actually hit the balls into pockets and not when you were being sorely and evidently distracted by your boyfriend's hands and lips. 

Joshua laced his fingers with yours as you walked back to the hotel room together. Jeonghan was drawing from his vape pen deeply, going on for what felt like half a minute and letting out the puffy flavored air in your face. 

"Jeonghan!" you pushed his shoulder, making him cackle. 

"Well, tonight was fun," Jeonghan said as he stepped out of the elevator on his floor. "Have a nice night."

"You too, Hannie," Joshua said, encircling his arms behind you to press your body flush to his front as the elevator doors closed and you were alone. 

"Josh…" you carefully called when he pressed his lips on your shoulder over your dress, moving up to kiss the crook of your neck, and then under your earlobe. 

"Mmn?" he muttered, tightening his grip around you.

You bit your lower lip hard as you considered how to word out your next question. 

"Do you…" you asked but then he planted an open kiss on the red hickey on the curve of your neck, making you jump slightly and blurt out: "Have you ever had a threesome?" 

Joshua paused his kisses, he removed his arms from around your waist and made you turn to him. "Why?" he asked, his brow furrowing in intrigue. 

"Answer the question." 

The elevator arrived to the floor and you were left with the question in the air as your boyfriend practically dragged you into the hotel room, swiftly closing the door behind you. Joshua Hong had you figured out when he turned to you, taking to steps so that he was looking at your face, reading your reaction as he said:

"What are you suggesting, baby?" 

"Nothing," you breathed but a tiny smile betrayed you. 

"Tell me," he insisted, his voice dropping to a gentle mumble.

"I… was just thinking that," you started, but you realized that you didn't plan your words this far. So in a string of fast stammers you blurted: "You know, you've told me that you would accept to do it if I wanted to do it and I want to. Do it."

Joshua smiled, it was a downturned smile. "Do you want to have a threesome, bunny?" he mumbled, raising a hand to brush the back of his fingers down your cheek. 

"Yeah," you whispered, shuddering slightly when his fingers tangled on your hair on the back of your hair. You felt the hard muscle of his chiseled chest as you rubbed your hands up and down his torso. 

"What made you want it so suddenly?" he mused, but he knew you. He got you figured out the minute you posed the question. "Bending over the pool table got you horny? You saw how we were looking at you and you liked it. Is that right, baby?"

"Mm-huh," you breathed as his lips grazed yours with a feathery kiss. "I-it got me thinking."

"Oh, you insatiable little thing," he said, sighing a smile. "Do you want me to ask Jeonghan? Do you want him in bed with us?"

The question was so brutally crude that it had your breath catching on your throat, quite loudly. "Yeah," you breathed. "I… want you both to take turns with me." 

"Mmnn," he hummed as he kissed your lips repeatedly and you wished you could see his face, to get in insight as to what he was pondering between kisses.

But he just bent down, lifting you from the ground with his strong arms holding your legs to prop you on the bathroom marble sink with a low squeal in surprise from your part. Joshua's hands cradled the back of your head, fingers tangling on your hair as he pulled on it, making you angle your head back and give him access to kiss your neck.

Joshua moaned when your hands roamed all over his body, circling his shoulders and then to his back, feeling over his shirt the lines between the muscles of his toned back until you reached the hem of his black denim jeans. A smile breaking on his lips as he pressed kisses on your face when you dipped your hands beneath his clothes to feel his round butt. 

"What else?" he muttered breathily on your neck. "What do you want, baby?" 

A moan coiled in your throat when his lips reached your throat, and you were almost amazed that your boyfriend appeared to be considering your crazy proposition.  "I want you to watch him fuck me," you blurted breathily. "I want you both inside me too."

Joshua sighed and you knew he was smiling on your neck. "Baby, are you serious?" he asked, pulling his head back to read your face.

There was a fascinated glint in his eyes, the small smile crowning his lips, Joshua was amused. "Yeah, I'm serious," you smiled with embarrassment. "I want this."

Your boyfriend considered your words for a brief moment, but to you it felt like forever. Your heartbeat strummed hard against your chest as he leaned over, pressing a kiss on your cheek. "Do you remember how to prep yourself, baby?" he asked, his voice barely above a mutter.

Your hands were still holding onto his shoulders, fists clenching on the fabric of his denim shirt when you understood what those words meant. "Yeah," you replied after swallowing hard.

Joshua pulled away from your neck, his lips traveling to your cheek, pressing tender kisses. "I'll talk to him, meanwhile you go get cleaned up," he said, breath fanning against your ear, making you shudder slightly.

"Okay," you nodded, turning your face to press your lips against his own.

Your boyfriend paused, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly as his big brown eyes scanned your face. "Are you nervous?" he asked, his voice still strained and you, when you nodded with your head, understood that he was nervous too.

"I am," you admitted with a small giggle that made Joshua show you a smile, crushing your heart over the beauty of his face. You encircled your arms around his neck. "But I want to do this."

"I know," he replied, the studded eyebrow twitching up. "Don't think I've forgotten about the filthy porn you wrote in your book."

Joshua's smile only widened when your laugh echoed on the tiled walls of the bathroom. "Shuddup," you gasped embarrassedly

"If it makes you feel better, I'm nervous too," he admitted, his gaze softening and the smile reducing into a mere small curve of his pretty lips.

"Why? You've done this before," you frowned in confusion.

His hand cupped your chin, looking at you with so much love in his eyes that you felt your heart quiver. "Yeah, but this is the first time it's with someone I love," he confessed, the weight of his words so heavy that his voice was merely a whisper.

"Do you want to do this, Joshua?" you asked, reading the features of his face to pick up any signs of reluctance. "If you don't want to do this, it's okay, baby. I won't mind."

"I do. I want to do this," he replied not a second later. "It's just that... this is new to me too."

You could've sworn that the love and adoration blooming in your heart showed in your face, his dark eyes lit up and the corners of his mouth twitched up slightly.

"What?" he asked.

"You're cute," you giggled, pressing your forehead against his. "And I love you so much."

The tiniest of groans left his mouth before you met his lips with yours. "I love you too, baby," he replied with a smile that you felt in your mouth. "So much."

With a brief open kiss, he peeled his body off of yours and turned to start the shower for you. He flashed you a smile and pressed his lips to yours before heading out of the bathroom, leaving you in privacy to get on with preparing yourself.

You threw a quick glance around as you came back to the bedroom, your body wrapped in a hotel bathrobe. You were deciding on what to wear as you heard the click to the door, your stomach dropped and you twisted to see that it was only Joshua coming in.

"You startled me," you breathed out with a sheepish smile as you watched him walk to you.

"Sorry, baby," he pressed his lips in a smile before grabbing you, wrapping an arm around your waist. "Jeonghan will be joining us shortly."

"Oh," you sighed, your body suddenly burning with anticipation.

"Are you ready?" he looked at your body, and smiled upon seeing the bathrobe. "I thought you'd be wearing something else."

"I just came out of the shower," you mumbled awkwardly. "I honestly don't know what to wear."

"Wear nothing," he showed you a downturned smile but when he saw your expression again he shrugged. "Wear something comfortable. I will."

Joshua turned away to get undressed himself, sending you meaningful glances when you discarded the bathrobe, the corners of his beautiful lips curving slightly as he watched you rummage in your bag for clean panties to wear.

"What did you tell him?" you inquired as you gathered what you wanted to wear for the occasion.

"Just that we wanted to have a threesome, and that I told you that he would be up for it," he replied, still looking at you with half-lidded eyes. "I'll text him when you're ready."

"I need to know how the conversation happened," you said with a shaky tone, and you smiled embarrassedly at your own jumpiness.

"I told him just that, baby," he chuckled, his eyes turning into half moons.

"Did you tell him about..." you looked upwards in embarrassment. "About what I want?"

"That," he started, sending you a look with a smirk. "Is something I'll leave to you."

"Josh!" you squealed, and he giggled sweetly. "I thought you would tell him!"

"I think that is something that you should tell him, baby. There's nothing wrong with voicing out your wants and needs," he said with the most natural air about him.

You groaned in frustration, only making him giggle again.

"Baby, Jeonghan and I have done this before," he explained with seriousness now. "You don't have to worry, he'll probably accept whatever you want us to do."

"Mmph," you stood there, clothes folded in your arms as you kept your thoughts to yourself.

"Ready, bunny?" he asked, driving you away from your train of thought. He had lost his black denim jeans and the shirt, now wearing a black tank top and gray shorts.

In his hand, you saw that he had brought out from his luggage two things, the training plugs that he got for you and a bottle of lube, you nodded.

"Yeah," you breathed out, placing your clothes at the foot of the bed. "How do you want me?" you asked, overly conscious of how lewd you sounded.

"Sit on the bed first," he instructed, biting his lower lip, a darkened gaze roaming all over you as you sat in front of him. A hand came to cup your chin, his long fingers grazing your jawline. "Come here," he whispered before he leaned down to kiss you, his wet lips capturing your own with a low grunt from him.

You raised your arms to encircle his neck, your fingers reaching his ashy blond hair as you kissed him back. "You're so hot," you whispered.

Joshua hummed in your lips, and you felt how the corners lifted in a smile. "Ditto," he said with a low grunt as he kissed you again. "So fucking hot, everyone had their eyes on you."

"Oh, don't lie," you chuckled.

"I'm serious," he mumbled, the tip of his tongue sliding on top of your lower lip. "That dress you wore tonight..."

"What about it?" you breathed as his lips continued to press on yours, his hands coming down to sink in the duvet, leaning forward so that you could lie down, his body hovering on top of yours.

"It was... you looked so hot in it," he replied almost aloofly, kissing your chin, then trailing down to your neck until he reached your breasts. "You sexy little thing, you don't know the effect you have on people. On me."

That made you laugh, the sweet sound making him raise his eyes to meet yours.

"It's just a dress," you mumbled meekly. "But I can wear it again some time, just for you."

Joshua smirked before leaning closer to wrap his lips around your nipple, teasing it with his tongue. "I'd love that, baby," he replied.

A moan coiled in your throat when he moved his mouth to tease your other nipple. It was short-lived though, sitting back on his knees, he patted you with his hand.

"Turn over, bunny," he instructed.

You rolled over, feeling the bed shift at your sides. You lifted your head to find him leaning over to prop a kiss in your shoulder blade, knowing how sensitive you were in that area.

"Remember how to do this?" he whispered, his lips trailing on the line of your back, making you squirm slightly.

"Ye-yeah I do," you stammered, fist clenching on the white duvet.

"Ass up, baby," he patted one of your buttcheeks with his hand and you immediately pushed yourself onto your knees, elbows flatly on the bed.

"Good girl."

You licked your lips before sinking your teeth down on your lower, focusing on relaxing. The noise behind you was distracting, turning your head to see what it was you saw him spreading lube on his fingers.

He sent you a look as he rubbed his fingers together briefly, setting the bottle aside to plant his hand on your lower back. The pads of his lubed fingers pushed on your hole, and you immediately turned your face on the duvet.

"You're okay?" he asked upon seeing your reaction.

"Keep going," you muttered, closing your eyes to focus on his fingers pushing on you, spreading them open ever so slightly, making you moan deliriously. It was kind of insane to you that you could get aroused with so little.

"So wet," he whispered, probably seeing your juices gathering in your pussy. His fingers spread a little more, causing your body to contort and a little more when the hard tip of the plug pushed in your hole. "How does it feel?"

"Alright," you replied, flinching dramatically when Joshua pushed the butt plug more, toying with it inside you.

He laughed breathily and patted you again. "That's my baby," he murmured. "Get ready, I'm telling Jeonghan to come over."

As you turned to fetch your panties, reality seemed to sink in: you were about to do something you haven't done before. And you were about to do it with your boyfriend and your best friend.

Joshua paced around the bedroom as he typed on his phone. You laid back on the pillows, deciding it was best to calm your jumpiness if you relaxed on the bed.

You had decided to wear one of his wide t-shirts, which was proving to be very comfortable pyjamas, and tried your best to calm your frantic heartbeat.

"He's here," Joshua said a moment later, walking over to open the door.

You sank down on the pillows, watching your boyfriend pace back to the bed, sitting down beside you to plan a kiss in your brow, probably seeing that you were still nervous about this.

Jeonghan walked into your view shortly after, hands deep in the pockets of his hoodie, almost as if he was carrying himself with a heaviness that only allowed him to move slowly, cautiously.

Oh, god. What do you say in situations like this? You wondered. What is Jeonghan thinking? Is he wondering, like you, how wildly your night changed for all of you?

"I'm here," he muttered, shrugging slightly.

Jeonghan was wary. You noticed that with a drop to your stomach. He was probably nervous about how your friendship would look like after this, just as you were.

So you sat on the bed slowly and crawled over to the foot of the king size bed, eyes set on the man that you had learned to confide in and trust. He was standing before the bed, frozen, mind reeling—you saw it in his eyes when you stood on your knees and his heavy gaze set on yours.

"Jeonghan," you called his name softly. "There's this... thing, a fantasy of sorts that I've been wanting to try out, and... there is no one else I'd rather try it out but you."

Confusion crossed his features ever so slightly, furrowing his brow, but his eyes never deterred from yours.

"Do you want to do this?" you mumbled to him. "You can walk away right now, and it'll be okay."

His lower lip parted a little and then his gaze shifted, eyes darkening. You got to know each other so well that you could see that he had his mind resolved in that moment. And it almost robbed the air out of your lungs to know with certainty—Yoon Jeonghan wanted you.

Jeonghan didn't ask for permission from the man behind you, and neither did you. A hand snaked to your waist, at the same time you pulled him by the collar of his hoodie, bringing him closer, his sweet eyes capturing yours, then your lips, then back to your eyes.

There was nothing to be said, just the exchange of glances before his lips touched yours. You held in a breath, tasting his in the process, just before his lips locked yours in the slowest, tenderest kiss.

His tongue caressed your lower lip slowly, pushing past it and played with your tongue briefly, your wet lips making a soft smacking sound when your friend pulled away.

In that moment, something clicked in your brain. Jeonghan had been burning to do this. He'd been burning to get a taste, a touch, to scratch the itch off his brain.

And you did too.

"Do you have a safeword, princess?" Jeonghan muttered in your mouth.

Your entire body became alight with anticipation and you breathed out your safeword.

"Before we do this," Jeonghan muttered, now sending a look to your boyfriend. "Is there anything I should know?"

You turned your gaze to Joshua, who was still lying in the same position. It made your stomach clench that he seemed almost unfazed, amused and... turned on.

"Like what?" Joshua asked, his studded eyebrow twitched. "We're both tested and clean, if that's what you're referring to."

His eyes locked on yours. "Is there anything off limits?"

You took a moment to breathe in, experiencing a very intense feeling of déjà vu. "Nothing is off limits, Jeonghan," you mumbled, using the hand still gripping his hoodie to bring him closer.

The last thing you saw was his half smile as you clashed your mouth against his, feeling his soft lips again, the warmth of his tongue on yours, making you moan in his mouth desperately needy. A burning wave rushed from your knees to your face, embarrassment coursing through you as you were now vulnerable at the eyes of your best friend.

But Jeonghan's hands slid beneath your oversized t-shirt and got to business without skipping a beat, almost as if he were in a rush or under time to get you under his touch.

With his thin fingers he caressed the line of your back, bundling up the t-shirt up to your armpits. You broke away from his lips to give him ample space to get rid of the oversized t-shirt, uncovering your bare breasts to his full view.

"Are you just gonna watch?"

Jeonghan blurted out the words without tearing his eyes from your body, much as if he were unable to, or as if he didn't want to look at your boyfriend.

"For now, yeah," Joshua emphasized.

"Why?" Jeonghan mumbled as his lips returned to your own, kissing you deeply this time. A hand came up to your side, tracing lines between your ribs with the pads of his fingers, making you squirm a little.

"I want princess to know what she's up for first," Joshua said with a slight tinge of amusement to his tone.

Jeonghan groaned when your hands slid under his hoodie, discovering that he wore nothing beneath it with a satisfied moan of your own.

Your fingers felt the muscles of his abdomen twitch upon your touch. And relishing at your discovery, your hands traveled from his tummy and up his chest, fingertips dancing on his soft skin.

His hands flew to seize your own and pulled back his head. "Umn, you're touchy," he grunted. "Tsk, we can't have that, princess."

You heard a soft sigh behind you. And you didn't need to look to know your boyfriend was smiling, probably enjoying the show of you discovering that your boyfriend's best friend is just as dominant as himself.

You tried to free your wrists from his grasp, but he didn't budge. Jeonghan bit his lower lip, a weak attempt to mask the smile that crept on his face.

"I want to see you, Hannie," you mumbled sheepishly. "It's only fair, right?"

Jeonghan pulled your hands out of his hoodie, shaking you a little when he used the control he had over you when he pulled you to his chest, planting a hard kiss on your mouth.

"Get on the table," he murmured in your mouth.

You gulped your nervousness down and nodded.

Climbing down from the high bed and walking over to the small table that served as a desk and turning to first sit your butt down and propped yourself up using your hands for support.

Now, you had a fuller view of the two men staring at you. Your eyes fell on Joshua first, he had moved to the armchair in one corner of the room beside the bed. Presumably to get a better view of what your best friend would do now.

"Baby, why don't you tell him about your fantasy?" he asked, noticing your eyes on him with a lazy smile at you.

"Lie down," Jeonghan commanded quietly, but waiting for you to start talking about the fantasy that has brought you this far.

You leaned back on the wooden table of the hotel room, only big enough to support half of your body so you instinctively pushed your knees back, planting the soles of your feet on it too.

A shudder crossed your spine when his lithe fingers tugged at the band of your panties and pulled them down your thighs. You extended your legs out for him to slide your panties down, tossing them to the floor.

"Move your legs up, baby," he said softly, grabbing you by the knees and pushing them up so the soles of your feet were flat against the desk, legs parted for him.

This way Jeonghan could have a view of your body. And you realized by then that he wanted you the farthest he could get you from Joshua.

"What's this fantasy about?" he inquired softly, as he continued to busy himself, propping down his arms at your sides, hovering over you as he leaned down to litter your skin with feathery kisses.

You ran a hand on his scalp, pulling his long dark hair back. "I want you to fuck me, Jeonghan," you stated boldly at your best friend. "I want you and Joshua to take turns with me, use me."

Jeonghan had the exact reaction you thought he would. At first he looked at you in complete bewilderment, his big brown eyes reading the honesty in the features of your face. And then, as you had expected, his eyes lit up dauntingly, smiling slightly at you.

"Is there anything in particular you want to do?" he asked, though you felt like whatever you asked of him, he'd do it but he would want to do so much more.

The truth is, you just wanted him. You wanted to feel him, to taste him, to hear him share this with you. Nothing more.

"Just do whatever you want to me, Jeongjeong," you mewled sweetly, your hand sliding from his nape and onto his cheek.

He appeared to be enjoying your touch for a second, before he grabbed your hand and placed it back on the table, his fingers encircling your wrist as he leaned down to drop kisses on your lips.

"Anything, baby?" he whispered as his lips littered your jawline, neck and collarbones with kisses.

You thought about it for a second, you thought about how comfortable he spilled that pet name for you in front of your boyfriend. "Of course. Whatever you want."

"Okay," he replied in a hollow tone, his mouth reaching your chest, his fingers moving from your wrist, pressing the palm of his hand against yours, slowly interlacing his fingers with yours as his mouth wrapped around one of your nipples.

"God, Hannie..." you instantly mewled, his tongue pressed on your pebbled nipple, moving back his lips, suckling the nub, humming along his teasing before he moved to your other breast.

His tongue pressed on the center of your boob, circling around your nipple, leaving a tingling trail of drool as he darted a look up at you.

"Th-that feels good," you muttered, using the hand that wasn't held by his own to caress his hair.

"Will you do anything I want?" he asked abruptly, throwing a glance at you, your eyes met and you found a fiery need upon them, making your stomach clench nervously.

"O-of course, Jeonghan," you replied, your voice quivering a little.

His pretty lips stretched in a sweet smile. "I knew you'd be a good girl."

Your whole body burned, limbs tingling in arousal and anticipation as you understood that your best friend was just as dominating in bed as your boyfriend.

"Do you think about me much, Jeonghan?" you ventured to ask, daring to bat your eyelashes at him.

"You have no idea," he whispered, the confession robbing him of voice it seemed, his eyes roaming on the features of your face, absorbing your reaction with the ghost of a smile.

The shudder that shook you had you blinking rapidly and uncontrollably for a second, it elicited the tiniest of groans from you, from the exhilaration, the fascination over this.

"What do you think about?" you asked, your voice sounded sweet, almost distant as he leaned down, pressing his lips on yours slowly.

"I thought of you," he breathed, you realized he was smiling then his lips pressed on yours again. "Of doing this, kissing you."

"Just kissing me, Hannie?" you pressed, feeling your heart almost leap out of your chest from how bold you sounded.

You wondered if Joshua was able to hear this, to hear the way your voice dropped, to hear you let out a mewling sound as Jeonghan's hand came up to grab your face by your jawline and move you slightly so that he could litter kisses on the underside of your jaw.

Jeonghan shook his head, "No," he mouthed, licking his lips thoughtfully and he backed off, just so he could take a view of your body on the small table.

His hand left your jaw, the pads of his fingers trailed down your collarbones, raking your skin between your breasts, making you squirm over the tingling sensation.

"You are so beautiful," Jeonghan said quietly, almost as if he didn't intend for you to hear.

The hand finally parked on the middle of your tummy, a fingertip slightly dipping in your belly button, sending a delirious shiver throughout your body. The expression on his face was of fascination, you assumed, from seeing you naked for the first time, from having his hands on you like this.

"Thank you, Hannie," you gave him a sheepish smile, aching to sneak a look to the corner of the room, where you knew you would find the man watching this whole exchange.

Jeonghan released the hand that he had laced with his to keep you from touching him. "Stay still, princess," he commanded, though his sweet voice made it seem like it was mere advice.

You sucked in a breath, immediately rendered immobile when the hand that was on your tummy moved further down, caressing your skin in the process of falling down between your parted thighs.

His eyes darted to yours when his pointer finger swiped a line from the top of your mound, then down between your pussy lips, slowly feeling your soft folds covered in your arousal already.

"Hannie..." you sighed when his middle finger joined, both fingers dipping in your entrance to get your wetness in his fingertips, his eyes locking on yours.

"Try not to move, baby," he responded when you winced quite dramatically on the table as his slick covered fingers found your clit, pressing it before starting to trace circles around it.

Jeonghan leaned over you, you tasted his breath before he kissed you again, his lips moving tenderly in between yours, the tip of his tongue sliding inside your mouth meeting your own.

The kiss was so gentle that you had to force the rapid beating of your body to focus on the prickling sensation on the skin surrounding your mouth, down to your neck. Reaching out instinctively, you felt his fluffy long hair.

But that made him stop, detaching his mouth from yours but not far enough, so you felt his lips move: "No touching, princess," he whispered.

"Would you like to tie me up?" you suggested, feeling brazen enough with your best friend.

"I won't need to," he said, the ghost of a smile appearing on his face. "Because you're a good girl, aren't you? You're going to do as I say."

The sound of his words sent you into a mad desire to prove him right. You nodded, swallowing hard as the movement of his fingers on your clit switched, pinching the already swollen bud, making you moan as the swirling of his fingers trapping your clit became faster.

Your arms fell languidly on the table at your sides, letting yourself close your eyes, sinking into sweet pleasure, his lips returned to your own, placing featherlight kisses on the bottom lip.

"There we go, baby. Relax," Jeonghan whispered. "Focus on what you're feeling. Focus on me."

At that his lips left yours and you didn't dare to open your eyes again. Instead you felt them again on the spot below your earlobe, his kiss featherlight, moving down your neck, leaving a trail of a tingling sensation that made you squirm.

"Do you like that?" he asked with his soft voice, his mouth so close to your neck that you could hear his breathing.

"Yes, Hannie," you replied with a tiny voice.

The tips of his fingers slid down from your clit, leaving it swollen and aching for more contact, but soon you moaned when his pointer and middle fingers slid inside you to his knuckles.

You squeezed your eyelids when he retreated his hand a bit, and you felt the drag of his knuckles inside your gummy walls to then slide his fingers back inside, repeating the same motion over and over, creating a squelching sound of your sopping cunt against the palm of his hand.

The sound of your breath catching in your throat made you feel even more embarrassed over the wet sounds coming from your pussy. But you still itched to grab his face, or to hold onto his shoulders.

So you did just that, not caring about trying to be good for him anymore. You needed to feel him. Slipping the palms of your hands on his shoulders, hating the fact that he was still completely dressed. As though his plan were to fuck you with his fingers and then just leave.

"Can I take this off for you?" you asked with a meek tone, knowing that you were stepping over one of his no touching rules.

He looked at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes, but nodded with his head. "Go ahead," he whispered.

You eagerly grabbed the oversized hoodie by the sides, making him remove his hand from your pussy, helping you pull the piece of clothing over his head to reveal his creamy white skin.

And then, his movement was faster than you could even grasp, his hands were seizing your wrists, encircling them perfectly with his left hand and pulling them over your head on the table.

"No touching, princess."

You let out a sharp exhale. "But–," you started, but then you had to bite your tongue when you understood; he gave you a piece of his clothing for you to obey one of his commands.

"But...?" he mused, his eyebrows pushing up slightly.

"Nothing," you mumbled, relaxing your arms, framing your head on the table.

"Pull your knees up," he instructed, nodding his head at your legs as you drew your knees in, thighs open for him as he continued to fuck you with his fingers, deeper this time thanks to the new position you were in.

"Fuck," you blurted when you felt his fingers press on your front walls, exploring every inch of you with the pads of his fingers, his eyes trained on your face, capturing your reactions.

"You sound so pretty," he said entrancingly, getting lost in the faces and the sounds you made.

"Right there, Hannie," you mewled when his fingers curved inside you, pressing on a very sensitive spot in your front walls that had you seeing colors behind your eyelids.

You instinctively clenched your fingers into fists, unable to move under his grasp. Jeonghan chuckled softly when you writhed on the table.

"If I let your hands go, will you continue being good?" he asked and you blinked to find him inches away from your face.

"Yeah," you gulped, feeling obfuscated about the no touching rule, somehow being reminded of the familiarity that it carried.

His hand released your wrists, but it was quick to find your cheek to hold for him to press his lips against yours. "I want you to come on my fingers first," he said into your mouth.

The words elicited a violent shudder from you, angling your hips for his hand to fuck your cunt harder, being met with more kisses and a almost inaudible, "Good girl," from his end.

"Hannie..." you sighed, shutting your eyes when the thrusts of his fingers inside you gained force and speed, his fingers teasing that glorious spot he found after exploring your walls, the squelching sounds becoming louder. "Please, please, please."

You were reduced to mere lewd sounds, trembling on the table as the sweet pleasure inside you built up. Eyes shut so you only felt his hot mouth travel from yours and kiss the swell of your breasts, capturing one of your nipples, teasing it with his tongue as your moans only egged him on.

"Hannie," you called, hands clutching at the ends of the small table, unable to move anymore. "I'm there, god. Hannie..."

With a strangled sob, you sank into waves of pleasure, your orgasm flooded your body, sizzling under your skin and making you let out a whining moan. You felt your body be overpowered by soft spasms, your walls clamping around his fingers, as well as the plug in your hole.

"Fuck," you heard Jeonghan whisper as your walls squeeze his fingers tightly, but then he said in a louder tone: "Good girl."

You flinched slightly when his lips returned to yours, grazing softly before kissing you heatedly.

"Felt good, princess?"

"Yeah," you breathed out with a smirk. "I needed that."

The statement made you snap your eyes open, stomach twisting violently, leaving you cold on the table for a fraction of a second.

Jeonghan read you well, his head inclined to one side slightly. "Mmn, someone has been neglecting you a lot lately, isn't that right?"

You saw his lips move as he spoke those words openly, only worsening the chilling shudder.

You didn't dare to look at Joshua. You couldn't.

"Yes."

"Do you want me to give you more, baby?" Jeonghan asked, which in his tone sounded more like a soothing purr.

"Please?" you breathed shamefully.

Your eyelids fluttered with a shudder when he pulled his fingers out of your sopping pussy and without skipping a beat he took them into his mouth, licking your arousal off with a low grunt.

"Stay still," he whispered his next command, lowering himself onto his knees, his face at the perfect height to lean his mouth close to your inner thighs, propping kisses, not giving you much preamble before he pressed his tongue between your pussy lips.

"God!" you gasped.

A low chuckle made you turn your gaze to the corner of the room. There Joshua sat on the armchair, leaning his head on a fist as he watched you trying not to move, thighs wide open as his best friend ate you out.

Slowly, you propped yourself onto your elbows, keeping your eyes trained on your boyfriend, understanding on the features of his face that he was aroused by this but you wanted to know more, you wanted to taunt him, to elicit a bigger reaction from him.

Something about his lust-lidded eyes, the dark look he kept on you as he leaned his head on his fist, taking a deep breath which you recognized instantly as one of his methods to resist his own pleasure.

Running a hand on Jeonghan's head, threading your fingers through his fluffy dark hair to elicit a low grunt, sending a brief vibrating feeling between your pussy lips. You caressed his long hair as he sloppily ran his tongue across your folds, figuring you out, tasting you, exploring you fully.

The big and generous strokes of his tongue stopped, his eyes lifting to find yours as he moved his tongue, the pointed tip circling your clit slowly, watching your expression as your mouth parted and you let out a sharp breath.

"Hannie..." you mewled when the swirling of his tongue shifted into figure eight motions around your clit, gaining some speed as he kept his eyes on your face.

He groaned when your grip on his hair tightened in response to the pleasure blooming inside you again. No touching, he appeared to be telling you as his hand grabbed yours, removing it from his hair and lacing his fingers with yours, keeping your hand laced with his on top of your tummy.

"Fuck, Hannie, keep doing that please," you mumbled, sighing a moan at the same time you tried to keep yourself focused on the relentless motion of the pointed tip of his tongue.

Jeonghan released your hand when your thighs framing his head started to shake slightly, your moans increasing, sounding nearly sinful. You closed your eyes, feeling the touch of his hands exploring your body, caressing your skin, your tummy and your breasts, cupping them.

"Oh, Jeonghan..." you moaned, tipping your head back as a sweet wave of pleasure flooded inside your body, causing it to writhe slightly on the table.

But you felt his hands on your hips holding you down as you continued to call out his name, chest heaving with your sharp breaths.

Ignoring his rule again, you caressed his hair, brushing it back in an attempt to pull him back. But instead he just grounded his mouth in your pussy, simulating open kisses on your entrance, between your lips and on your clit.

"Jeonghan... sensitive," you flinched abruptly when his lips latched onto your clit, a series of loud smacking sounds coming from his mouth as he teased your engorged bud, releasing moans as he did so.

"Mm," he responded, looking at you again before detaching his mouth from your pussy.

You were embarrassingly breathless from coming so hard, legs trembling and you could feel the wetness dripping from between your legs onto the table.

"I... want—can I suck you off?" you asked, emboldened by the desire to make your boyfriend watch. But still, a tingling and warm rush of blood swarmed all over your face and neck.

Jeonghan rose from the floor, looking at you with an impassive expression on his face. Almost as if he didn't know what to do next, or if he wanted to do many things at once but couldn't decide.

He grabbed you by your hands, helping you sit up on the table to then plant a hard kiss on your lips, making you get a taste of yourself on his tongue when it swept inside your mouth.

"Get on your knees, princess," he instructed with a light tone, running the back of his fingers on your cheek.

Jeonghan turned away as you lowered yourself from the table, watching him get rid of the rest of his clothes in a near methodical way. Straight to the point, not putting on a show, or letting you have your fun by undressing him.

So you kept watching him as he threw his clothes to one side with little care as to where they landed, discarding his shorts, and underwear, until he was completely naked and in front of you. The only two things he carried on his body now were on his wrists: your scrunchie and his watch. 

"I want you here," he pointed to a spot in front of the bed, straight across from where Joshua was sitting.

You swallowed hard before sinking down onto your knees on the cold marble floor. Waiting, your eyes rose and fell on his tall frame, his nakedness. His milky white skin, his strong thighs, there was a beauty on how unapologetically he was displaying his body to you.

"You're beautiful," you whispered abruptly, having your heart crushed over how the words flew out of your mouth.

Jeonghan was shy whenever someone complimented him, but now he just seemed to be amused, as if he enjoyed being showered with your praise.

"Give me your hand," he offered you his palms before you could come out of your daze and placed your hands on his so he could indicate where you could touch him.

He then took your hand and placed them on his hip. "Leave it here. You can tap me if you want to stop, got it?"

You nodded, looking up at him and when your eyes met with his, you felt a deep sense of nervousness. It had been a while since you felt this during sex, and you realized with a flashing pain crossing your chest, that beyond the lust and desire for him, you felt something else.

His hand caressed your cheek before running his fingers through your hair. "Go ahead, princess. I'm yours," he muttered, and you noticed in the slight quiver in his tone that he was nervous and eager too.

You darted a look sideways, finding Joshua in the same position, much as if time had stopped for him the minute you and Jeonghan kissed. He bore the same look of lust in his eyes, the same dark determined look he wore whenever he was on a mission.

You ran your tongue between your lips once, driving all of your attention to the man standing before you now. He gave you a confident look, silently telling you that you were doing well and in that moment, it was all you needed.

Tentatively, your fingers trailed a line from his lower abdomen, a soft smile drawing on your face when you realized that he was hairy when your fingertip raked between the soft pubic hair.

"Don't tease me like this, princess," Jeonghan giggled after your fingers caused him to flinch slightly.

"Sorry," you breathed. But your fingers encircled around his long and pretty cock. It was so hard that you didn't need to stroke it beforehand, the pink tip already dripping with precum.

You pressed your lips on the underside of his cock, making a trail of feathery and wet kisses until you reached his tip, licking your lips to taste his precum with a hum. "You have a pretty cock," you muttered softly, almost sounding dazedly.

Jeonghan smiled, the sound making you break out of your trance. The hand cradling your hair moved, his thumb caressing one of your temples.

Holding his gaze, you opened your mouth and took his cockhead in, licking him first as you would a lolly, the tip first. Jeonghan's hand came to join the other, gathering your hair gently, his fingertips grazing on your scalp briefly.

You felt a rush of adrenaline and arousal as you watched Jeonghan's face relax, his mouth going slack as you slowly took his cock in your mouth, sucking his head eagerly now, trying to get more reactions from him.

"Oh," he uttered ever so gently, his voice dropping to a rasp.

You tried to explore him to the best of your capacity, tongue swirling around the pink head of his cock every time you moved your mouth back on him, taking him deeper when you pushed his cock until your lips reached your fist still placed by his hilt.

"God," you heard him gasp, his fingers clenching around the strands of your hair.

A shudder coursed through your body, making you raise your eyes to find his face riddled with pleasure, he threw his head back and now you could see his pretty neck, his throat moving as he moaned in pleasure.

The sound made your core flutter, it sounded so raw and sweet that you were instantly fascinated by it, eliciting a mewling sound from you. Hollowing your cheeks out as you moved your head back, to suck on his cock pressing your tongue around the head before going forward again, repeating the movement, faster.

"Stop, stop," he whispered, his hand slipping from your hair and grabbing your chin. "I'm close, princess."

You took a big gulp of air when Jeonghan pulled out of your mouth, drool dripping down your lower lip. "I want to keep going," you mumbled.

"Sure, baby?" he asked, the lines between his eyebrows showing ever so slightly.

"I'm sure," you nodded, leaning close to him so you could take him into your mouth again, darting a look to his face and then to his cock in front of you. "Use my mouth, please. I want you to fuck my mouth, Jeonghan."

The satisfying feeling you got from his eyes widening slightly at your words was something you were quickly growing an obsession with.

Before he could nod with his head, his eyes scanned your face swiftly. "Okay," he mouthed, his hands reuniting with your head, gathering your hair between his fingers.

Your mouth fell open for him, eyes trained on his face.

"Hands on me, baby," he rasped, a hand grabbing his cock as he guided it inside your parted lips, pushing it with his hips slowly as your fingers dug on the skin of his hips.

You inhaled deeply through your nose, eyelids fluttering uncontrollably as his long cock slid on your tongue, reaching the back of your mouth tentatively, thrusting slowly inside you before picking up a calculated pace.

There was something about holding his gaze as he pushed his cock inside your mouth, and you could see that it had the same effect on him as it did to yourself. It was near maddening, a frenzied rush coursed through your body, resolving you to keep yourself focused on him.

"Fuck, you're good at this," he muttered with a strain on his voice as he thrusted deep inside you, making you gag as you relaxed your throat for him to fuck, making him moan deliriously. "So fucking good," he whispered.

Your core throbbed at the sound of his words, you would've moaned if you weren't intent on deepthroating him without gagging. But tears were starting to gather on the corners of your eyes, your mouth had relaxed so much for him that you couldn't control the drool dripping onto your chin.

"God," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut, shuddering with another delicious moan that rasped on his throat. "Baby, you feel so good."

Your hands encircled his hips, caressing his skin on the process keeping your teary eyes fixed on his face.

"I'm gonna come in your mouth," he gasped, opening his eyes to find your face.

You blinked slowly at him, as if saying "Please do," a thing you learned from your boyfriend on occasions like this.

"Fuck," he whispered shakily, the thrusting of his hips faltering slightly before he pushed deep into your mouth, throwing his head back as ropes of cum spurted from his cock and onto your throat.

Jeonghan moaned, a sound coming one after the other; breathless, raspy until you stopped swallowing his cum, breathing deeply through your nose, determined to look at his face as he came in your mouth.

His face was riddled in pure pleasure, his closed eyelids trembling slightly as he kept his mouth parted, breathing heavily as his hands relaxed on your hair, blindly searching your face to caress your cheeks.

"Fuck," he muttered to the ceiling, but this time it was different.

Jeonghan moved his head forward to find your face with his eyes, his hand cupping your cheek grazed your skin, his thumbs gathering the tears left in your cheekbones.

"Get up," he said, gently pulling out from your mouth and his hands grabbed yours to help you onto your feet. "Are you okay?" he asked once you were face to face with him.

"Mm-mmph," you cooed, nodding with your head in affirmation.

"Okay," he whispered, leaning closer to kiss your lips, slowly locking them with yours, rolling his tongue inside your mouth, moaning gutturally as he got a taste of himself in your tongue.

"Jeonghan..." you whispered.

He grabbed you by the waist as he sat down on the bed, bringing your body with him. Staggering slightly, you pressed one knee at his side, then the other.

"Ride me," Jeonghan muttered suddenly, almost as if in a hurry. His hands came up to cup your jaw lightly. "Come on, baby, sit on me," he whispered in your lips, urging you to move.

You nodded eagerly and pushed his body back on the bed, mouth watering again when you noticed that his cock had grown hard again and you sent him a look.

He must have read the pure awe in your eyes, because he nodded and swallowed hard. "Need to feel you, princess," he mumbled, his hands sliding on your hips, guiding you on top of his body as you moved on the bed to straddle him.

You took his pretty cock in your hand, rolling it over to spread the traces of your saliva and his precum along his shaft. Then, you angled it to your core, his eyes shifting from his cock about to slip inside you and back at your eyes, where they decided to stay as you slowly sat on his cock.

Jeonghan sucked in a breath and his hands gripped your hips tighter. "Don't," he stopped you just as you were going to look at the corner of the room. "Don't look at him. Look at me."

You nodded again in silence and bottomed out on him, your hands anchoring on the sides of his shoulders as you started rolling your hips on him, feeling every inch of his cock slowly. You let out a muffled moan, when you saw Jeonghan's expression change, his eyebrows knitted slightly and his mouth parted.

"Fuck," he groaned, sending his gaze to the ceiling. "Fuck. You're... a dream, princess. That's it, ride me, baby."

You had started to take a little speed, the sway of your hips gaining more control on his cock, bouncing on him to get closer to what your body desperately wanted. You wanted to come, to make him come, to watch him come undone under you.

"Jeonghan..." you breathed, feeling hot in the face because you could feel your boyfriend's eyes on you. "Am I doing it right?"

"Don't stop," he grunted, sucking in a breath through his pink lips, and shut his eyes for a moment.

Joshua had spread his legs, rubbing a hand over his clothed cock. His eyes were on you, just like you had wished for. A hot wave of shame and lust ran from your face to your cunt when you saw how hard your boyfriend was just from seeing you fuck someone else.

A slap came down your thigh, hard. "Fuck!" you yelped, hips stuttering sloppily.

"I told you not to look at him, princess," he tutted.

"'m sorry," you mumbled shamefully.

"Sorry won't cut it," he growled: "Faster."

You trapped your lower lip between your teeth, your hands finding his shoulders to anchor yourself on as you started rolling your hips faster on him. You moaned uncontrollably when you felt his cock hit in your walls deliciously each time you sank back in.

You kept that pace, that motion of your hips because you could feel the sweet pleasure building inside you, taking you closer to your release and the realization of cumming like this hit you, because you've never made yourself come like this, not even with Joshua.

"Je-jeonghan," you stammered, breathless, whimpering. "Fuck, fuck, oh god..."

You screwed your eyes shut, not allowing your body to grow tired and your hips buckled a little before you sank back on his cock, forcefully, letting out a cry as the tension in your body snapped, making you come hard on top of him.

"Jeonghan!" you gasped, opening your eyes to find his. His mouth had parted and his hands were kneading at your thighs, as if trying with all his might not to come with you.

"Look at you," Jeonghan cooed with a sigh, the fascination in his voice and written in his eyes was undeniable now. "Oh, princess, you're making a mess on me."

"Mmn?" you looked down where your bodies connected, without stopping swaying your hips on him. The base of his cock glistened wet with your arousal, his skin and pubic hair had a faint string of your cream smeared all over.

"You're doing great, baby," Jeonghan said softly, his fingers pinching your chin. "Didn't think you'd be this filthy. But it was expected of you, right?"

"'m not filthy," you slurred out, bouncing sloppily to keep your eyes on the mess you made. It was strangely alluring.

Jeonghan smiled, the sigh coming from him made you tear your eyes from the base of his cock and look at his face. "Are you sure, baby?Only a filthy girl can get herself off from this."

Your walls fluttered around his cock from hearing him talk down to you like that, you gave him a slow nod.

And then, without thinking, you looked at Joshua. He had lost his briefs, his head leaned back against the headrest, you saw his throat bob slightly, his darkened eyes set on you as his fist pumped his cock slowly.

Your whole body burned in response, drawing out a whiny moan and your brows knitted uncontrollably. A firm slap landed on your thigh, making you shut your eyes and cry out.

"Fuck, fuck! I'm sorry," you mumbled. "Sorry."

"You're being stubborn," he rasped, reaching out with one hand to grab your neck and pulling you closer so you brushed against his chest with your tits. "I never told you to stop."

"Sorry," you whispered nervously, your face so close to his that you felt his breath on your lips.

You moved your hips again, sinking on his cock sloppily.

"D'you like this, princess?" he whispered, looking at your eyes, then your lips. "Do you like that your boyfriend just watched you come on my cock, not his?"

"Yeah," you croaked. "I want more."

A corner of his mouth curled up, his hands came down from your neck to grip your ass and he stopped you completely, his cock slipping out of your sopping walls.

"Wh-what did–,"

"Get on all fours," Jeonghan instructed before kissing you chastely.

You stilled, searching his eyes impatiently. But he looked back at you, lust blown eyes, his mouth sporting a devilish grin.

"Go on," he urged, patting your thigh with his hand.

You planted your hands on his chest to help yourself onto your knees, and crawled to the middle of the large bed, getting on all fours for him as he followed behind you.

"God, you have the prettiest ass," you heard him say as a hand caressed your butt. "Should we make it prettier, princess?" he mused.

"Uh?" you uttered confusedly.

Then his fingers toyed with the plug inside you, and you instantly moaned. "Do you think you're ready for the bigger one?" Jeonghan asked and then you saw from the corner of your eye, his hand reaching out for the bottle of lube.

"Ye-yeah, I'm ready," you stammered shamefully, you threw a look in front you, finding your boyfriend watching you intently, making you drop your gaze to the duvet swiftly.

"Mmn," he hummed as his fingers plucked the plug out. "Breathe in, princess," he directed gently as you heard the spurts coming from the bottle of lube, then you felt the cold liquid on the pads of his fingers as he spread your hole open for the next plug.

"Breathe out," he muttered.

"Oh," you blinked rapidly as you felt the longer plug inside you, penetrating you even deeper than the first one.

"Okay?" Jeonghan asked, a hand caressing your lower back, waiting for your response.

"Okay," you replied.

Moving your body back, you sneaked a look to Joshua again as you crawled on the bed to then feel Jeonghan's hands yank you from your hips, forcing you to face your boyfriend, ass angled to his best friend.

"You'll get what you want," Jeonghan cooed, his hand sliding on your lower back, then you felt his cockhead gliding up and down your folds. "One spank if you close your eyes or look away from him."

Joshua nodded, making clear his participation in the punishment. Without tearing his eyes from your face he kept stroking his cock, the lower lip trapped behind his teeth smirked slightly when Jeonghan sheathed his cock inside your walls again, eliciting a raw moan from you.

Jeonghan immediately started pushing his hips so hard you could feel his hip bones meet your ass, the slap beginning to sting a little as he quite literally pounded on you, his cock hitting a glorious spot repeatedly, drawing pathetic moans out of you.

You realized that you had never seen Joshua touch himself like this. He blinked slowly at you, suppressing a small shudder, the muscles of his jaw twitching as he gritted his teeth. You knew him well enough to know that he was trying hard not to come, and you nearly smiled at that.

But you couldn't deny that you felt a deep shame washing over your face from being fucked hard by someone else while your boyfriend simply watched. Watched your body bouncing as Jeonghan's hips jackhammered into you, not slowing down or shifting position, just fucking into your glorious spot relentlessly, releasing small grunts every time you moaned.

Joshua looked at your face the whole time, probably noticing the shame painted in your hot cheeks. The small smile crowning his lips told you that much.

You couldn't. You had to look away from him.

"Spank."

Your heart skipped a beat just as Jeonghan delivered a firm spank in your buttcheek. "Fuck," you squeezed your eyes shut and blinked repeatedly, tears gathering in your eyes.

"Fuck!" Jeonghan also gasped when your walls squeezed around him. "You like being spanked, princess?"

Joshua smiled cruelly.

Jeonghan's hands grabbed your hips forcefully before changing the pace in his thrusts, plowing on you, angling his cock so that you felt him hitting you deeper.

"Sorry princess, what was that?" he grunted, a half gasp that could almost resemble a laugh.

You could only moan in response when you saw your boyfriend's cock glistening in precum, just as his hand rolled over the rosy brown cockhead to smear his own slick all over. Joshua muffled a low raspy groan, blinking slowly at you, unable to look away from your fucked out form.

"Are you fucked stupid, baby?" Jeonghan asked after you gave him no actual response.

"Spank," Joshua muttered again, his voice low and raspy.

"But I didn't look away," you whimpered in protest just as you received another firm slap in your already tingling buttcheek. "Gah, fuck, Hannie–"

"Fuck, princess," Jeonghan moaned deliriously, oblivious to your protest. "If you keep squeezing me like that, I might not last long."

"Hannie, please, I didn't–," you started to plead and got from the glint in your boyfriend's eyes that this is exactly what he wanted.

Joshua wanted to hear you beg, he wanted to see you being punished.

"Spank," Joshua's merciless smile crowned his red lips and his head tipped back as he pumped his cock faster. His thighs tensed and you saw him swallow thickly, he was close, but kept resisting his climax.

"Fuck!" you yelped when Jeonghan's hand came down on your buttcheek, your walls fluttering around him, and your arms nearly give out from the flashing pain.

Jeonghan groaned, a low sound coming from him, something you didn't think you would hear from him. "Fuck, I'm close princess," he sighed, words caught in a slurry mess: "Want me to pull out?"

You were close too, you were growing a bit sore from the relentless pounding, the tip of his cock abusing the sensitive spot inside your walls to the point you knew you were about to wet yourself soon if he just kept going.

Your eyes were brimming with tears, but you kept them fixed on your boyfriend's eyes, on the movement of his hand. It was then that you realized that he was matching the speed of his hand to the thrusts plowing on you.

"Baby, answer him," Joshua urged, his pierced eyebrow twitched slightly.

"No, please!" you gasped. "P-please come inside me," you made a motion to turn to look over your shoulder.

"Spank," your boyfriend's voice betrayed you again with a sigh which resembled a faint laugh.

This spank was firmer than the others before it. You squeezed your eyes shut, the pain sizzling beneath your skin and you saw red, your cunt squeezing around him and you knew you were so close to your own release.

"Fuck-k," you heard Jeonghan breathe out, and then. "Cumming," he muttered before the pace of his thrusts slowed down, fucking you sloppily as he emptied himself inside you with a raspy moan.

Joshua was grinning, the tip of his tongue ran over his lower lip before sinking his teeth, his head tilted back, looking at you with lascivious eyes before spurts of cum landed on the back of his hand, on his lower abdomen and chest. Your boyfriend let out a long groan that joined with your moans.

Both men were breathing slowly and ragged, Jeonghan's hands remained on your hips, keeping you steady as you trembled uncontrollably on the bed.

"Clean him off, princess," Jeonghan instructed, patting you in your butt gently, egging you to do it quickly.

You turned to look at him over your shoulder, a question written in your eyes.

Jeonghan was covered in a sheen film of sweat, from his forehead to his collarbones. His dark bangs sticking on his forehead as he breathed hard from the exhaustion, his tongue hanging on his lower lip languidly.

"Come here, bunny," Joshua called, and you turned to him, sitting in the armchair still, just at arm's length from you.

You whimpered slightly when Jeonghan pulled out of your walls, but you crawled to the edge of the bed towards your boyfriend, who cupped your cheek with his clean hand as soon as you were near enough for him to touch you.

"You're being so good, baby," he muttered, his thumb brushing your lower lip just before you bent your head and licked the cum off the back of his hand that was resting on top of his crotch.

Joshua's mouth parted and he lifted his fingers for you to suck on, licking them clean. His eyebrow twitched slightly when you moved your mouth to his lower abdomen. Running your tongue on his skin, you licked to the last bead of his cum.

"Good girl," Jeonghan muttered behind you.

"Mmn, but baby you're making a mess," Joshua said in a honeyed purr, making you turn to see your thigh.

Joshua's hand came down to your thigh, his fingers stopping the cum trailing down, picking it up and inserting it back to your fluttering cunt.

"Can't let it go to waste, huh?" your boyfriend smiled when you moaned as his fingers teased your slit, pushing the cum dripping out of you.

"Babe, I–," you started pleading when he pulled his fingers out of you, you needed to come.

But he stuck his fingers in your mouth quite abruptly, you tasted Jeonghan's cum, mixed with your own arousal. "Mmn, I think princess wants more," Joshua purred, a fascinated look in his dark eyes. "You were close, right baby? He didn't let you cum again."

You shook your head in affirmation, trying your best to give him an innocent look. "Mm-mmn," you hummed, making him grin at you.

You heard a sharp exhale behind you and felt the bed shifted under you. "Princess, you came three times already," you heard Jeonghan say. "What more can you take?"

Joshua's pierced eyebrow quirked up slightly. "Shall we test that, baby?"

His thumb brushed your lower lip as he pulled it out of your mouth softly, his grin widening when you nodded with your head eagerly.

"How are you?" your boyfriend asked, his tone dropping slightly as his eyes surveyed your face. "Are you okay?"

You nodded with your head once, lifting your eyes to meet his. "I want you now, Joshua," you mewled with a breathy tone.

Joshua looked at you briefly before a smirk crowned his beautiful lips. "Come here," he pointed at the spot in front of him, so you climbed down from the bed just as he rose from the armchair.

You followed his face with your eyes as he was now looking down to meet your gaze.

"Are you ready, baby?" he asked, reading your face with his big brown eyes.

You nodded, and then added with more certainty. "I am."

Then he instructed you to place both knees right at the edge of the bed, ass up and pointed at him. On all fours, you were looking directly at Jeonghan, lying in the pillows, blinking slowly as if he were drifting still.

His post-sex gaze found you, making your stomach clench as you noticed something else in his eyes too.

"Mmn baby, you're all red," Joshua murmured sweetly but mockingly, rubbing the sore areas of your ass with his hands. "Jeonghan doesn't know how much you enjoy being pampered."

"Mm-mmph," you hummed, shuddering under the softness of the caress, your boyfriend was now exhibiting how well he knew you, and how blind Jeonghan was to your preferences.

"Are you enjoying this, baby?" Joshua asked as his fingers toyed with the plug lodged in your ass. "Do you like that Hannie is getting to know how needy you really are?"

"Yeah, I do, Josh," you replied, voice dropping to a whimper the plug was slowly plucked out of you.

Jeonghan smiled, his teeth sliding on top of his lower lip as he watched you subdue yourself to your boyfriend.

"But Hannie probably knew already," Joshua muttered. "He also got to read the filthy things you write, right?"

Jeonghan nodded, his eyes wandered from you to your boyfriend behind you.

"Bunny, you're dripping," Joshua sighed, the pads of his fingers gingerly traveling from your clit, picking the slick and cum dripping down from your hole and pushing it back up. "My baby is so messy."

You sighed a moan when his fingers dipped in your fluttering core, feeling your boyfriend's touch, familiar instead of explorative, made you even more aroused.

"So he probably knows that you want both of us," Joshua continued with his musings, but this made you frown slightly, your heart twisting in your chest.

You turned your head to find your boyfriend, he cocked his blond head to one side, reading your expresion.

"Isn't that right, bunny?" he inquired, the corner of his mouth stretching in a grin. "You want us inside you at the same time."

"Ye-yeah, that's what I want, Josh," you stammered dumbly.

"I'd assumed as much," Jeonghan admitted, when you looked back at him you swore you saw the same wolfish grin on his face as your boyfriend's.

"You're gonna be good for us, baby?" Joshua purred as his lubed fingers prodded on your hole gingerly at first, stretching it more.

"Yeah," you whined, closing your eyes to savor the feeling.

"Breathe, baby," your boyfriend reminded you, spreading his fingers, keeping you open for him.

You inhaled through your nose, moaning as you exhaled.

But you needed to see your boyfriend standing behind you, you understood from the movement of his right arm that he was stroking himself, lubing his cock for you. The dark and lustful gaze he kept on you made your body burn with anticipation, making you angle your ass for him.

"Good girl," Joshua breathed before pressing the tip of his cock on your hole, his eyes shifting from your ass to your face, his eyebrows knitting at the same time you did.

"Josh... mn," you mewled, looking his mouth fall open as he eased himself inside you, ever so slowly and carefully.

"Alright?" he breathed, unable to bring his tone any louder.

You gave him rapid nods with your head. "Yes, yes," you mumbled.

His eyes remained on the features of your face for a second before shifting them to his fingers spreading you open for him, a hand reached out to pump more lube onto his palm. A low hiss escaped between his teeth as he coated the remaining half of his cock to ease himself inside you, thrusting shallowly.

It was hard to breathe, you couldn't move. You focused all of your energy to remain lax for him as he eased the first half of his cock inside your tight hole.

But everything inside you became alight with sweet pleasure. You dropped your head forward, enjoying the feeling coursing beneath your skin, keeping your lower lip trapped between your teeth, but muffled mewling sounds resounded in your throat.

You sneaked a look at the man in front of you. Jeonghan was lying on his side, elbow propped on the pillows as he looked at you and your boyfriend. His heavy lidded eyes kept switching between Joshua's face and then to yours, a hand idly stroking his cock.

"Baby," he muttered, a strain to his voice, and when you turned you saw it showing on his clenched jaws as he tilted his head back, moving his hips at a slow pace. "Are you okay? Can I give you more?"

"Yes, I'm okay," you replied, a hot wave washing over your face. "I want more."

"Okay," he sighed deeply, his hands now palming your ass as he thrusted his hips forward, easing another inch inside you.

"Oh god," you shut your eyes. "Please, move, Josh..."

"I don't want to hurt you," he replied in a breathless tone. "I need you to relax, baby. Can you do that for me?"

You nodded, focusing on what your body felt, crying out, welcoming the pleasure, the slow and shallow thrusts of Joshua's hips, his cock pushing in and out of you, making him moan.

You knew your boyfriend could hang. He came once already so it would probably take him more time to come again. But something in the way that he was moaning let you know that it might be different this time.

"Fuck, so tight," he sighed in pleasure, his hands palming your ass, caressing your skin as if to soothe your moans. "Talk to me, baby."

"Don't stop. Please, Joshua," you replied instantly, your fingers clenching on the bed covers, holding on tightly.

"Do you think you're ready for Jeonghan?" he asked with a slight urgency to his tone.

"Yeah," you breathed out, looking at your best friend and then your boyfriend behind you. "I'm ready."

"Okay," he gasped, the features of his face riddled with pleasure, but he came to a stop once he heard you. Joshua raised a hand and motioned you over to his chest. "Move back, baby. Slowly."

You simply did what he instructed, and wordlessly, Jeonghan moved across the bed, standing next to Joshua now. His hands shifted positions, gripping your hips as you stood back on your knees as he said, so your back pressed against his chest.

The two men exchanged a glance before Joshua moved your body from the bed, Jeonghan's hands sliding on your thighs to help your boyfriend support your body from the front.

"You're okay, baby?" Joshua asked when he heard you let out a small cry.

"Yeah," you replied quickly, now looking at Jeonghan as you used your hands to hold onto his lean shoulders. "Please, more, please."

Joshua kept your thighs angled for the man in front of you, just as he took a hand between his body and yours, grabbing his hard cock to guide it to your cunt, his eyes finding yours as he started to sheathe himself inside your cunt in one go.

Your eyes rolled back, squeezing your eyelids tightly as your head slumped back onto Joshua's shoulder. "F-fuck," you gasped, as Jeonghan eased himself to the hilt, making you fuller than ever.

"Baby," Joshua urged, breathing hot against your neck.

"Move, please, Josh," you cried out, the corners of your eyes spilling some tears.

Without wasting a single second, you felt the two men move in a slow sway, appearing to share one mind again because there were no words exchanged, nothing you could make out before they began a push and pull with your body.

"God," you breathed out, seeing stars behind your closed eyelids. "Josh..."

"You're good, baby," he replied, his voice muffling as he pressed his lips on the crook of your sweaty neck. "You're perfect."

As the two men moved inside you, the rest of your body supported by Joshua's strong arms on your thighs, Jeonghan helping him through as he moved in with shallow thrusts.

You blinked, leaning your head forward, the tip of your nose bumping sloppily against Jeonghan's. You kissed him slowly, eliciting a raw moan from the man, but he reciprocated the kiss, breathing in your mouth when you backed away.

Then you turned your head to your side, Joshua reached for your lips with his own, meeting in a feathery kiss. "Mmn," you hummed into his mouth before leaning your head back onto his shoulder once again. "So full," you whispered in pure bliss, dissolving into a puddle of pleasure.

"I know, baby, I know," Jeonghan mumbled, his voice too, sounding tense.

"So good for us," Joshua whispered, kissing your shoulder.

"Mm-huh," you hummed entrancingly, but your mind had already gone completely blank as you were reduced to breathy moans, tears spilling from your closed eyes, unable to string up thoughts.

Lips kissed your neck, your shoulder, while another set of lips kissed your cheeks, your tears and even your own lips. But slowly you lost awareness of who was who anymore, not even if you would recognize Joshua's lips anywhere, you couldn't do it.

The sway of both men pushing inside you never changed, it never paused, you heard tired gasps and raw moans as they used your body, filling you up to the brim.

Your moans were becoming increasingly louder every time, and whinier. You had never sounded like this, never felt like this before. So full, and taken over by pleasure that there was nothing you could say. You saw lights and colors behind your eyelids and tasted your climax in your mouth, pleasure blooming inside you in fiery waves, taking over you completely. 

"I think she's close."

"Are you gonna cum for us, baby?"

"Yeah," you breathed.

"Come, bunny, come for us."

"Oh god," you whimpered before coming undone without any warning, crying out blissfully, your body being overtaken by relentless tremors. Your hands held onto his shoulders, nails digging into skin.

"Fuck," you heard one of the men gasp in response.

The orgasm was so brutal that you felt like collapsing, you felt it everywhere, flooding you from inside, coursing through your whole body, you even felt it on your face, between the tears rolling down your cheeks.

The room was filled with your raw cries of pleasure, and low moans and gasps from the men holding your spasming body while you clenched around them, triggering their own orgasms, stuffing you up with their cum. One had propped his forehead on one of your shoulders, while the other was breathing hard on the curve of your neck, while grazing your skin with his lips.

"Fuck, baby," one gasped languidly, fingers digging on the plush of your thighs.

Both men had stopped pushing inside you, but kept holding you as you trembled with the aftershocks of your orgasm.

"Baby?" the same voice asked.

"She's out of it," the other said knowingly. "Give her a moment."

"Let's lay her down."

A weak cry spilled from you when Joshua pulled out of you, even if he did it with care, you felt the sudden loss of him inside you. Followed by that Jeonghan pulled out of you. Next thing you knew, your trembling thighs were wet but before you knew it, your limp body was quickly laid on the bed.

"Easy," you heard him whisper soothingly. "Eaasy, baby."

"I got a towel and I already started a bath."

"Thank you," a hand brushed some hairs from your face. "I'm gonna clean you up, bunny."

"Okay," you mumbled, opening your eyes to see Joshua sitting beside you, carefully pressing a wet hand towel on your thighs, cleaning up the cum that had dripped down from you.

"Hi there, baby," Joshua smiled at you. "How are you? Okay?"

"Amazing," you replied with a slurry tone.

"Tsk," you heard Jeonghan click his tongue with amusement before announcing: "Bath is ready, princess."

"Come on," Joshua nodded his head back to the bathroom door. "I'll take you there."

"I can do it," you protested, starting to prop yourself onto your elbows.

"You don't have to," he retorted, already getting on his feet to lift your body from the bed, cradling you on his strong arms to lower you gently into the warm water of the tub.

"Thank you, babe," you mumbled sweetly.

Jeonghan was already in the shower, its glass walls letting you know that he was sending you glances to check up on you.

"Are you hungry, baby? Do you want me to order something?" Joshua asked as he knelt before you. "Waffles? Fries? Strawberry milkshakes?"

The crushing love and adoration you felt for him was beyond anything your languid body could handle at that moment. You smiled and nodded lazily.

"Everything I just said?" his eyebrows pushed up, and his beautiful lips were crowned with a smile, making his dimples above his lips show.

"Can it be chocolate now?"

"Of course, baby," he smiled endearingly at you. "Do you need help?"

"I got it, Josh," you replied. "Thank you."

"Okay," he whispered, giving you one look before he got up, as Jeonghan was stepping out of the shower and was now being occupied by your boyfriend.

"You're okay there, princess?" Jeonghan asked as he patted his face and neck with the towel.

"Yeah. A bit sore but I'm okay," you replied, watching his fully naked body as he wiped the droplets of water sticking onto his skin. You pretended to busy yourself, subbing your soapy hands onto your inner thighs.

Jeonghan sat down on the rim of the tub, at arm's length from you so he only stretched out to boop your nose with the tip of his finger. You looked at him startled for a second.

But he smiled, in fact, a breathy chuckle left him as he saw your face.

"What?" you asked, blinking confusedly at him.

"You're cute," he replied nonchalantly, resuming to wipe himself down.

You said nothing, in fact, you felt like you didn't have the brain capacity to process why you felt so confused at the moment. You simply pulled the drain stopper with your foot, the warm water scurrying down quickly.

"Help me up?" you extended a hand at him.

"Sure you can walk?" Jeonghan smirked, casting a look over his shoulder.

Joshua was coming out of the shower, draping his lower half with a towel as he kept an eye on you. "I'll do it," he offered and bent forward to get you up, lifting you up in his arms again.

Jeonghan got another towel for you, which he extended on the bed as Joshua set down on it neatly.

"You guys make a great team," you noted aloud finally, looking at both men standing before you.

They both exchanged a quick look, Joshua only nodded nonchalantly, Jeonghan smirked at your words. "We know, princess."

After that, Joshua ordered room service for everyone and you all waited with the TV on. You were blissfully dozing on the bed, aloof to anything that happened around you until you were woken up by your boyfriend telling you the food was here.

You ate in silence, barely able to keep your eyes open but the only thing keeping you up and running was your growling stomach.

"It's time for me to go back," Jeonghan announced, rising up to his feet.

The meals were done and you could barely hold your head up from the slumber and tiredness taking over you.

"You stay."

Both men jerked their heads upon hearing you say that, both looked confused, much as if they weren't expecting you say that.

"Please?" you raised your eyes to look at him. "I want you to stay."

"If Joshuji has no issue with it," Jeonghan shrugged, casting a glance at your boyfriend.

"Yeah, no problem," Joshua responded, but his brow was slightly furrowed.

You giddily crawled on the bed, slumping down on the pillows face down. Joshua quickly occupied a place by your side, cupping cheek with one hand to press a loving kiss on your forehead.

"Sure you're okay, baby?" he asked, scanning your face and your body inquisitively.

"I'll be fine, Josh," you rolled your eyes but a small giggle spilled from your lips.

"Mkay," he replied, pressing his lips in a tight smile.

Jeonghan however, slid onto the large bed with some reluctance, occupying your other side. You shifted your body so you could look at him, an arm tucked beneath his head.

He felt your gaze before he could turn and look at you. "What?"

"You owe me a scrunchie."

Jeonghan closed his eyes slowly, a sly smile appearing on his face. "No, I don't," he mumbled. "Go to sleep."

"You first," you replied in the same fashion.

A heavy arm hugged you from behind. Joshua cuddled his body against yours, pressing a kiss on your hair. "Go to sleep, baby," he said, smiling softly on your cheek before littering it with kisses.

Like a work of magic, you were gently swept away by a very heavy slumber.

You felt like hours had passed since you shut your eyes until something pulled you from your dream. You turned in the bed, following the faint sounds of Joshua snoring softly beside you. He was sleeping in an odd position, and you realized the pillow had moved and was about to fall onto the floor.

You reached out for it, carefully placing it beside his head.

"Joshua," you whispered, trying not to wake the other man lying on the other side of the bed beside you. "Babe, use your pillow."

"Mm?" Joshua lazily pushed his eyebrows up, opening his eyes slightly.

"Baby, use your pillow. You were snoring," you smiled softly, feeling something tug in your insides.

He just looked so cute, pouting his lips as he nodded. "'m sorry," he mumbled and placed his head on the pillow before continuing on his deep sleep.

You laid back on the bed and curiously eyed Jeonghan, who had his eyes open and focused on you.

"Did I wake you?" you asked shyly.

"No," he whispered. "I can't sleep," he explained briefly.

"Oh. Same," you sighed a smile, your heart skipping a beat over the sense of familiarity you felt whenever you were reminded that Jeonghan is just a bad sleeper as you are.

There was a restlessness in his gaze as the man that you had come to call a best friend swallowed thickly. A lithe hand came to your face and grazed his knuckles on your cheek.

His touch startled you at first, but you welcomed it, leaning your cheek against his touch.

"Is this okay?" he asked softly.

"'s okay, Jeongjeong," you replied with a small smile. "Are you okay, though? This might have been too much."

"I'm okay, princess," he mumbled with ease, but his gaze remained shifty.

"Sure?" you mouthed, his eyes were on your lips already, so he nodded.

The moment grew quieter, Jeonghan removed his hand from your cheek, licking his lips as he appeared to be considering something inside his head.

"Stay still," he whispered.

You held in a breath, closing your eyes when his face moved closer to yours, and waited.

His lips grazed yours, capturing them ever so slowly, giving you a tender kiss that made a small grunt bubble in his chest.

Your hand cupped his cheek, diving for a deeper kiss, feeling his tongue on yours. His palm pressed against the back of your hand, his fingers encircling it briefly before pulling his head back.

"Did you... like it?" he asked, seeming to be curious as well. "Was it what you wanted?"

"You know I liked it, Jeongjeong," you smiled slowly at him, waiting for his smile.

But no, Jeonghan didn't smile, in fact, he didn't seem to be relaxing.

"Did you?" you asked shyly, your eyes trailing down to his mouth and then his eyes.

"Yeah, I did. I liked it," he mumbled sleepily.

"We should do it again sometime. Us three," you put in quickly and then looked away at the ceiling, feeling ashamed.

"You don't think your boyfriend will say no?" he mused, his voice merely a whisper.

"Why? I mean, I don't think so," you frowned, then added. "It's just sex, right?"

It grew quiet, so quiet that you barely couldn't hear Joshua's deep breathing. Jeonghan's eyes scanned your face again, but the restlessness only grew into something you couldn't quite place. His gaze darkened, and his lips tensed into a line.

"Right?" you asked again, your eyes reading his face, but you couldn't understand what you had said wrong.

Jeonghan sat up in the bed slowly and rose, throwing his hoodie and then putting his sweatpants on, he didn't look back at you.

"Jeonghan?" you called, sitting up in the bed when he crossed the room, walking out the door without saying a word.

You sat there, eyes fixated on the hotel room's door, hesitating on what to do. Your heart was beating frantically against your throat.

"Leave him be," Joshua mumbled sweetly behind you.

"Did you hear all that?" you asked, but didn't need an answer. You knew he did.

"I think Jeongjeong might have a crush on you, baby," he ran a hand on your back, his fingers caressing your bare skin lovingly.

"He doesn't," you brushed off. "He's just..." you stopped short of words.

"It's okay, baby," he whispered. "I don't mind if he does."

"But he's your friend!" you whispered.

"Our friend," he corrected. "So?"

"So, I don't want to hurt him," you mumbled awkwardly.

"Why would you?" he frowned.

"I'm with you, Joshua," you rolled your eyes annoyingly. "I can't be giving him false hope."

"Baby, you don't have to," he smiled, looking fondly at you.

"Are you actually saying what I think you're saying?" you asked dumbfoundedly.

Joshua appeared to be pensive for a second, and shrugged slightly. "I mean, he's been there for you this whole time," his tone was sweet, but cautious. "And you had grown really close, it would make sense that he feels something for you."

You stared at your boyfriend in utter bewilderment, but something more alarming made you think. Did you feel something for Jeonghan?

"I never... we never did anything or said anything," you whispered with a slight frown of confusion.

Joshua's smile reached his eyes. "I know, baby. That's not what I'm saying," he said and sat up in the bed and gently placed a finger under your chin. "Do you feel something for him, baby?"

"No. I don't know," you whispered, feeling your heart deflate painfully in your chest upon uttering those words. "I love you, Joshua."

"I know, that's not what I'm asking," he smiled slightly. "I'm just saying that it's not entirely wrong to have feelings for someone who's been there for you. Even if that someone happens to be my best friend."

Your breath hitched and took his hand that was holding your chin. "Should I go talk to him?" you whispered.

"If you want to," he replied in the same manner. "I think he needs time right now... and you do too."

Your eyebrows knitted, breathing was hard, the pain in your chest becoming worse. "What?"

"I think you feel something for him, baby," he whispered, pressing his fingers on your chin.

"I don't," you muttered, but your eyes had started to water.

"Are you sure?" he asked, frowning slightly. "Baby, I know you. I've seen the way you look at him."

You choked back a sob and immediately denied shaking your head. "I'd never do something like that to you."

"Baby, listen to me," he muttered, his hand cupping your chin tensed slightly, commanding your eyes on him. "I am not judging you. I just need the truth."

Taking a few deep breaths, almost sobbing as your mind spun over the situation. You knew you couldn't deny it to Joshua or to yourself any longer.

"Maybe I do feel something for Jeonghan," you confessed, the realization making your breath hitch.

Nothing could have prepared you for his reaction.

Joshua recoiled, as if he had suddenly been slapped, then blinked rapidly, his big brown eyes dimming a little. You knew his feelings were hurt and you immediately wanted to take it back, to pause your whole life and reevaluate what you were actually saying to him.

"It's okay," he breathed, sushing you when you couldn't contain your tears anymore and started to cry. "It's okay, baby. It is. I understand."

"Wait, please, please," you mumbled, grabbing his arm with one hand as you tried to steady yourself, becoming light headed over the surge of emotions invading you.

"I'm not going anywhere," he muttered, looking at you with a worried look on his face. "Baby, breathe."

You inhaled deeply, your eyes itching because of the tears that kept on coming. "I'm sorry, Joshua."

"What for?" he whispered, his brow furrowing as he gathered your tears with the back of his fingers. "Don't apologize. Not for that."

"But I feel like I'm hurting you and I don't want to do that," you choked back a sob.

Joshua frowned a little, almost as if he were putting his thoughts together, and laid them out for you slowly: "It was me who told him to get closer to you, because I've been away and we both barely talk, I know you would feel lonely and I didn't want that for you."

"But this isn't your fault."

"It's no one's fault," he shook his head slightly. "There's nothing to blame here."

You looked at him, trying to decipher what was going on in his mind. "What are you saying?"

"Jeonghan and I are very similar," he said with an empty smile. "It doesn't seem strange to me that he grew feelings for you. You're fun, smart, beautiful."

Joshua said this with a vague expression on his face, almost as if he were putting the pieces inside his brain, as he himself was realizing how he felt about the situation. "And by that, I also don't find it strange that you have feelings for him," he decided.

You felt the features of your face relax, but the morose and cold feeling seizing your heart didn't go away. "It's entirely platonic," you said shakily.

That made Joshua smile with a glint of fondness in his eyes. "Baby, I know that you love me," he replied with certainty. "And I know that you having feelings for Jeonghan doesn't affect what is ours."

You read his eyes for a second as you were letting the words sink, you nodded slowly. "I love you, Joshua," you whispered, leaning so that your forehead touched his.

"And I love you, bunny."

✮ yet another long author's note: heyoooo THEY DID IT!!!! THEY CROSSED THAT BRIDGE, JOSHUA OVERCAME HIS POSSESSIVENESS (or did he?) 👀👀👀 as you may or may not know my bias is Jeonghan and my wrecker is Joshua (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) so i am doing this purely to satisfy my brain, but i guess that if you want to indulge with me you are more than welcomed to do so OKAY NOW I NEED TO EXPLAIN AGAIN this is the last part belonging to city lights! take this as the finale! AND THIS IS CANON OKAY yes, i'm sorry for those that didn't want a threesome 😭🫠🫠 NOW LET ME EXPLAIN A FEW THINGS. bunny's story doesn't end here. i decided to make a city lights season two! but i'm going to take a break from writing this fic for a short while and focus on my other projects!! so city lights is going on a short break and will be coming back under a different title!! so be on the lookout for that one! 👀 i hope this explains everything AND I DON'T WANNA SEE ANY OF YOU IN THE COMMENTS SAYING THAT CITY LIGHTS IS OVER OR WHATEVER BECAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE! ᕙ( •̀ᗝ•́)ᕗ sorry i didn't mean to yell at you i love you all! toodles!

buy me a coffee? 🩵👉🏻👈🏻

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

---

Needy || Joshua Hong 

fratboy!joshua x f!reader

w.c: 3.5k

warnings: angst a little, smut, car sex, unprotected sex, dirty talking, friends with benefits to lovers, breeding kink if you squint, fluff

note: Happy Birthday Joshua hehe. I hope you guys like this one let me know :)

masterlist

You awake?

The bright light of your phone made you squint as you read over Joshua’s text, a suppressed yawn falling out of your mouth.

I am now.

You sat up on your bed, blinking rapidly trying to regain your vision while attempting to read the time. Three in the morning. You sighed, the cold air conditioning hitting your naked arms making you shiver.

Joshua rarely texted you, if it wasn’t to meet his needs. Sexual and all. And in turn you did the same. It was part of the arrangement the two of you had concocted one Friday night over a half-finished research project, a few drinks and a one-night stand.

It worked.

That was until your feelings for him grew into something more than sexual. You wanted him—no you needed him in every way possible. You wished he would cave into you instead of keeping you at arm’s length. Scared of how his frat brothers would view him if they were to ever find out he was fucking around with a girl in his Women in Literature class. He ignored you. Acted as if you didn’t exist, flirted with other people in front of you, jabbing knives into your heart repeatedly. It hurt you, but you always had to remind yourself that your feeling’s weren’t part of the deal.

You hated him and yourself for letting him treat you in such a disgusting way. For feeling desperate and insecure enough to let him use you in every possible. Until, he showed up at your doorstep with a lustful glint sparkling behind his soft eyes. And you’d fall on your knees worshipping the ground he walked on as if he were Aphrodite’s son.

Every time he came and left you swore that it would be the last time, knowing very well you were lying to yourself. Your feelings for him haunted you, they stayed at the back of your mind as you tried everything in your power to keep them locked away in a wooden box.

Joshua Hong was addicting.

An addiction you never wanted to recover from not matter how much it hurt you. He was like sweet poison running through your veins and you’d bust your lip on the venom he dispensed over and over again in order to keep him close. Your need to feel his body close to you was far greater than your unwanted feelings and another failed love affair.

Let’s go for a drive.

Keep reading

---

seventeen as boyfriends: THE 500 EVENT

hello all, and welcome to fairyhaos' 500 followers event masterlist!

for this event, we'll be having headcanons of each member of seventeen being sent out in the order listed below over the course of 13 days. they will be posted at midnight on the dates listed according to kst time, so stay tuned for each members' editions!

this is an event that i'm holding to thank you for being able to get me to this place. thank you for being so welcoming to me, and appreciative of me and my works. that's something i'm forever going to be grateful for.

and now, onto the works !

︴seventeen as boyfriends

seungcheol edition [05/06]

jeonghan edition [06/06]

joshua edition [07/06]

junhui edition [08/06]

hoshi edition [09/06]

wonwoo edition [10/06]

jihoon edition [11/06]

minghao edition [12/06]

mingyu edition [13/06]

dokyeom edition [14/06]

seungkwan edition [15/06]

hansol edition [16/06]

chan edition [17/06]

event taglist (comment/ send an ask to be added): @rubywonu ,, @cinnamoroxie ,, @belladaises ,, @wheeboo ,, @minhui896 ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kokoiinuts ,, @jun-of-love ,, @dandycharmer ,, @sweet-like-caramel ,, @hannyoontify ,, @doesthismeannothingtoyou ,, @fashionminghao ,, @icysungho ,, @butiluvu

note: my general requests are also now open!! send in reqs for timestamps, reactions, fics, anything at all :)

---

okay imagine like with svt (either ot13 or minghao jihoon and seungkwan pls) you’re studying for some test in eng / a language other than korean and you go to them with like the tiniest handwriting, tons of notes, all on one page all proud and theyre just like “…now wtf does this say bro” love u axie (if i can call u that) take a rest and i love u sooo so much! u can dm me if my req is a little confusing <33

speaking your native language in their presence ♡

a/n. the way i RAN to write this!! it took a moment ngl but phew, i’m done!! thank you for requesting, hopefully you like it roxie!!! and ofc you can call me axie, it makes my heart melt ngl <3

also i had a race with time to finish it before you go on a hiatus i was STRESSING LMAO but i made it 😌

warnings. cursing >:T

oh and for anyone interested i also have enha && skz && bts versions of this!!

┆彡 SEUNGCHEOL [ 승철 ]

mans so used to talking w you in korean that he kind of??? forgot??

so once you were talking with your mom over the phone and his mouth went ajar

like that man was ready to call the exorcist

and then it clicked and he was like oh ☺️

after the shock went away he swore he fell in love over n over again

loves hearing you talk in your native tongue :(

he’s so entertained by it too, like i swear he’s like a kid (affectionate)

you were laying in seungcheol’s arms, head nuzzled into his neck. his big arms held you tightly and he softly drew shapes onto your skin.

“and… seventeen?” his question made you smile. you translated how the number sounds in your native language.

and cheol started giggling.

“sev…enteen… it’s so.. rustly” he chuckled, attempting to say it “oh! what about our songs?”

“well… hot would be hot” you barely finished and seungcheol was giggling like a teenager. it was so contagious that you couldn’t help but start laughing too. but then he attempted to say it and failed horribly, causing a full on hysteric laughter from both of you.

maybe it was the late hour or his failed attempts. whatever it was, it felt so heartwarming.

he will learn with your help a couple of basic phrases!!

due to his busy schedule he can’t study on his own but once he has some free time he’s doing those duolingo lessons LIKE A FREAK

oh and also

if he’s pouting bc he’s in a bad mood, all it takes is a kiss and a nickname thrown at him in your native language ^_^

┆彡 JEONGHAN [ 정한 ]

he’s like a cat – curious but won’t let it show

shushes everyone in the room if you’re talking to your friends or parents in your native language through the phone :”)

obviously so they hear you better duh (not because he wants to listen, duh)

will learn some phrases on his own so you two can communicate (and cheat) while you’re playing games w his friends hehe

he absolutely fell in love with the kitchen of your home country like 😭😭😭

and and he absolutely adores the names of the dishes, esp when you pronounce them so effortlessly

it unlocked something in him….. sure he had a soft spot for you but now oh boy

“hannie…” you whined, tugging his sleeve.

you had a small fight, well… more of a disagreement: he wanted some ramyeon and you were craving (dish name). obviously he folded in half and knew he’s done for the second the dish name rolled off your tongue so satisfyingly.

“please? we didn’t have it in a while! we can order (dish name no2) too? pleasepleasepleaseee” you pouted. jeonghan sighed dramatically, raising his eyebrows.

“okay. but say it one more time” he grunted, a smile creeping on his face.

“you’re so weird” you mumbled amusingly in your native language and he frowned

“hey, i understood that!” jeonghan scoffed, causing you to chuckle.

he looks at you with literal hearts in his eyes whenever you speak your native language, just saying <\\3

when he’s feeling extremely soft, usually when you’re about to go to sleep cuddled n all, he’ll ask you to just whisper some random stories

it lulls him to sleep so fast

please also caress his hair he’ll melt on spot 🥹

┆彡 JOSHUA [ 조슈아 ]

he knows the struggles of feeling away from home so the second you start feeling homesick he’s there to make you feel better:”)

shua loves hearing you mutter some random words, for example when you’re counting or something

will also ask for music recommendations and he will learn some of the songs so he can sing them while playing the guitar

also he’s INVESTED

like,, shua will watch you scribble down in your mother tongue mesmerised

it’s not that fun, however, when you’re in a rush and you left him a note with a grocery list scribbled down

… and a couple of things in your native language…. messily written that even the translator doesn’t understand it…

“uhhh… y/n, darling?” joshua’s voice rung in your ears as you picked up the incoming face time call. you smiled upon seeing his cute but puzzled face.

“yes, baby? also good morning to you too” you hummed, fixing your earphones. his face lit up upon seeing you

“oh woah, you look good today. but i’m in a bit of a pickle…” he hesitated, the camera turning around. you noticed the note you left behind and your eyes widened upon realising that you wrote some of the items in (language name).

“oh” you giggled.

“oh indeed” he shook his head with a loving smile “and even the translator doesn’t–“

“it’s butter, flour and cucumbers” you explained and joshua let out a dramatic, relieved sigh

he notes down the words after such incidents so he doesn’t have to call you eveytime

and it’s safe to say that he’s build a quite big vocabulary so far

and he’s always so proud like

“hey y/n i bought the (cucumbers in your language) you wanted!” with the widest grin ever

┆彡 JUNHUI [ 文俊辉 ]

my mans woke up one day and decided to learn your language

bought books, textbooks, audiobooks, duolingo plus (or premium, however it’s called) and casually managed to learn A LOT

he just loves the way it sounds and aspires to talk so fluently like you

ofc he knows he still has a lot to learn but don’t underestimate him

and the main reason when he’s gonna use it it’s just… bothering you ^_^

“–and then he gave me flowers! yeah! he’s the sweetest!” you were gossiping with your bestie over the phone, peeking at jun calmly reading a book “ugh, i know! i know, i know, i know, shut up!”

jun just smirked, getting ready to say something.

“trust me, i’d drop on my knee right here right now if i weren’t such a chicken” you giggled and blush creeped on your cheeks when you met your boyfriend’s curious gaze

“i’d prefer to do it, to be honest, but you’re such a cutie” jun said calmly in (language name) and casually returned to his book. your mouth fell ajar as your bestie started squealing over the fact that he spoke (language name)… apparently.

jun just winked and you cleared your throat, hanging up quickly.

“what was that?!” you laughed and he just shook his head with a mischievous smile.

he’s such a gremlin >:(

so yeah, expect him to start spilling tea in your native language as an excuse to 1) spend more time w you 2) practice his skills

but as i said he’s??? like?? almost fluent??? his accent is so so adorable too <|\3

he’s so smug abt it as well

like if you ask him, he’ll pretend like he doesn’t know a thing in (language name)

but if he’s abt to bully you (affectionately) he’ll come up with the most creative nicknames known to a humankind

also, if you have siblings… he WILL gossip w them in your mother tongue too 😐

┆彡 SOONYOUNG [ 순영 ]

oh boy.

he’s so so curious to hear you say even one (1) thing in your language

but totally misses it when you actually say some words throughout the day

obviously knows one word: tiger (wow shocking?!!!)

and uses it sm 😭 he has your contact name written as my tiger but my is in korean and tiger in your native language 🥹

he calls you like that often, it’s like a new nickname for you

he may be not so invested into actually learning it but your culture tho!!! esp dancing n music… sigh <\\3

you stepped into your apartment, the weight of this tiring day on your shoulders. as you lazily took off your shoes and put the bag with groceries into the ground you realised something.

the song playing in the background was strangely similar. suddenly it clicked. it was a popular song by an artist from your country! just when you realised, the sound of shoes squeaking against the wooden floor stopped.

“are you dancing to… (song title)?” you breathed out as your boyfriend popped out from behind the corner.

“yeah! i love the vibe of the song!” he grinned and gave you a welcome kiss. after pulling away you could see the gears were turning in his head “could you translate the lyrics?”

as you made your way to the practice room, you hummed the song underneath your breath. and in this moment soonyoung’s heart skipped a beat.

since that moment it’s like a routine that you sing/hum him to sleep some songs in your native language

or just whisper some stories

he’s out like a baby fr

ALSO

a big enjoyer of the soap operas

he’ll binge them with you or alone and be actually invested in the drama

that’s how he also learned curse words ☺️☺️

┆彡 WONWOO [ 원우 ]

oh my precious nonu :((

he adores it sm when you speak your native language

when you’re shy abt it he just has to use all of his willpower to prevent himself from squealing like a teenage girl

will ask you to teach him and it’s just so so soft *screams*

you’ll be laying in bed, in his arms as you read through the textbook and explain the grammar of the sentence given

and he’ll repeat it in tiny 🥹

it’s so so wholesome

but.

you let out a sigh, the grasp on your mouse tightening. wonwoo noticed and let out a chuckle.

“what’s up?” he asked, peeking at your screen.

“the fucking skeleton won’t leave me alone” you grunted in your mother tongue, earning a gasp from him. suddenly the arrow that the minecraft skeleton shot hit you and you fell down from the tree at top of which were you hiding “fuck!”

“baby!” he laughed hysterically, his head thrown back. your eyes widened, realising the curse words

“sorry! why is this stupid block game making me emotional?! ignore me” you scoffed and he just shook his head, smiling proudly at the new knowledge he obtained.

he finds it so endearing when you swear in your native language 😭😭😭

and it’s such a bad habit, especially when you play games together, that he started doing it too???

wonwoo laughs that you’re a bad influence but secretly he loves the way the curses roll of tongue 😭😭

┆彡 JIHOON [ 지훈 ]

you could sneeze and you’re literally inspiring him to write 82837492 songs

so when he heard you talk in (language name) he was just like in another dimension

he’s smiling like an idiot fr his friends thought something was wrong but it was just you <3

uh however he kind of… never saw your handwriting in (language name)

and once you were studying for an important exam and mans had a heart attack

“hey y/nnie have you seen my…?” his voice died out in his throat upon seeing you and your notes. they were all scribbled in a tiny handwriting in some… letters he didn’t fully recognise. you had like five A4 pages of such notes.

jihoon blinked repeatedly, trying to think if he wasn’t in the sun for too long today – his eyes must be playing a trick on him.

“look! im so happy with the outcome, it looks so cute!” you grinned and turned around to see him almost hyperventilating “hoonie?”

“what–“ he frowned, pointing with his finger at one of the pages. what is going on?

“it’s in (language name), dumbass” you scoffed, everything suddenly making sense to him “it helps me understand stuff better”

“oh” he grunted, shifting his gaze to the page with little drawings “what does it say?”

“oh it’s the–“ you started explaining, throwing in some words in your mother tongue subconsciously. he just smiled and listened attentively.

lmao

regarding that, he enjoys just listening to you as you study and whisper some of the words/sentences in your mother tongue!

it really calms him down and usually puts to sleep to <\\\3

oh oh! and when you caress his hair while doing so… ah, he’s so whipped

he has tons of songs that are unreleased… and yes, you guessed correctly, with your consent he used some of your voice memos n all in the background

the songs are so cute :( he’s really proud of them too!! and it’s so sweet that it’s just… for the both of you <3

please leave in his studio some “i love you!” or “have a good day” sticky notes, preferably in (language name) or with translations?! he’ll melt :[

also another one that reaaaally likes the curse words >:T

┆彡 SEOKMIN [ 석민 ]

from the moment he met you he was always curious about your culture n native language but never pushed you to speak it n all

and gradually while dating him you started using it more and he started paying more attention

like he didn’t notice before that the funny sound you do while dropping something is actually cursing! 😀

what’s surprising, he understands a lot – maybe it’s the context or just some magical powers

but sometimes you can communicate like you say something in (language name) and he answers in korean bc he understood

and he’s so so in love with your accent and the way your face lights up when you speak it your mother of tongue

but for the love of god please – somehow – stop speaking it in your sleep, he’s gonna have a heart attack one day 🥰🥰

dokyeom stirred in his sleep, slowly waking up. he wasn’t sure why but suddenly he heard something.

it was definitely something. he sat straightly, narrowing his brows confused. what is that sound? is that a burglar? or…?

he looked over at you. no, you were sleeping peacefully. seokmin looked around the dark room, his heart speeding up. was this a nightmare? or was he just going insane?

then again. no, it must be someone saying something. something that he can’t understand.

then it clicked and he looked at you. your mouth was moving slightly, incoherent (language name) words being spoken.

he scoffed and went back to sleep, pulling you closer.

it took him so much time to get used to that but anyways 🏃‍♀️💨

and he’ll definitely make fun of you for that too (as if he didn’t have a whole ass jumpscare)

he absolutely adores ballads in (language name), it’s like his new obsession

and he tries to sing them, with the cutest accent ever :(

will occasionally twist some words but it’s okay, he’s enjoying himself 🫶

┆彡 MINGYU [ 민규 ]

this dork

he always acknowledged your native language n all but unlike dk he asks u to speak it 24/7

like, you don’t get it: he’s obsessed.

you could insult him in his face in (language name) and he’ll look at you with hearts in his eyes

he wants to learn it, he really does, but it’s just so frustrating when he fails :(

mingyu was sitting at the dinner table, his food long forgotten while he was biting at the end of the pencil. glasses sitting at the bridge of his nose, brows furrowed.

“gyu? you’re still here?” your voice snapped him back to reality, eyes widening. you rubbed your eyes.

“yeah i just don’t get it…” he whined, shoulders slumping “i understand the words but they don’t make a logical sentence in my head”

“baby…” you chuckled softly and stood behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso and resting your chin on his shoulder.

he grabbed his food, cold now, and slowly chewed on it as you explained everything.

“because look. this word, what does it mean?” you asked, noticing that he’s eating so you just scoffed and continued “girl, right? but this ending here added means girl’s. and this? old. but those letters here? they make it an adjective, so…?”

“older?” he asked, puppy eyes glaring at you with adoration. you nodded with encouragement and he tried again “so… the girl’s older brother had a dog?”

“yeah! good job baby! now let’s go to sleep, hm? i’m tired” you giggled and pecked his cheek. he nodded proudly.

kisses really motivate him btw >:)

he watches those yt videos of people teaching and giving tips but he loves when you give him private tutoring lessons 🫶

will often cook you some regional dishes in return

generally, he enjoys exploring your national cuisine ^_^

also would love to go to (country name) w you and take some pics…

… or propose there

so just go there w him already! 🙄

┆彡 MINGHAO [ 徐明浩 ]

shut up i want him

you’re each other’s private tour guides 😭

museum dates are such a must, and you’re just talking abt something that impacted a certain artwork (like cultural event in history or something) and he just listens genuinely interested!! and vice versa

loves when you read out loud poetry in your native language :(

started taking lessons?? like one day you woke up and he was just on a zoom call saying something like “my name is minghao” with the cutest smile ever

and you’re like?????

he’s such a fast learner 🥹 hao believes it’s because he truly wants to learn in order to communicate with you 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

but that didn’t prepare you for what was about to come next…

don’t let him near your parents. he WILL gossip with them abt you.

“does she swear a lot?” your mom’s voice reached your ears as you walked into the your apartment, grocery bags in your hands. your parents were visiting you and minghao but…

“like a sailor! no, i’m joking. of course she doesn’t. she does snore a lot, though” your boyfriend giggled and you let out a dramatic gasp.

“hao!” you whined and they both looked at you, not really caring that you’re here now.

“i guess she has that after her father” your mom chuckled and minghao noticed her tea is almost finished, so he poured some more in “oh, you’re such a gentleman”

“it would be a crime if i wasn’t in a presence of such an beautiful lady” he hummed and sent you a playful look. you just rolled your eyes and started unpacking the groceries.

“gentleman my ass” you grunted quietly.

“y/n!” your mom frowned and suddenly you heard someone standing up. in no time minghao hugged you from behind, nuzzling his face into your neck

“i just told your mom you don’t swear, honey” he murmured in korean

“well, ass is not a swear word” you pouted. minghao chuckled and helped you unpack the bag.

“you’re right, it’s a part of human body but i am surely more than that” your boyfriend teased and you just nudged his arm, rolling your eyes once again.

i feel like it might take a while but he’ll actually manage to be fluent?

so when you sadly forget a bit of (language name) due to mostly using korean and make a mistake, it’s almost like that mingyu-joshua moment

and hao is the one correcting you 😭

and your just like?? excuse me?? it was just a mispronunciation🙄☝️

but he doesn’t let it go and teases you >:(

┆彡 SEUNGKWAN [ 승관 ]

he straight up asked you one day to teach him some (language name) bc he thought it sounded cute <|3

and you’re like 🥹 yeah 🥹

but uh, he’s not a very patient student and gives up quickly 😭😭

but it’s okay!! he tried n also has a busy schedule so it’s understandable

nevertheless, he still adores when you speak your mother tongue

esp when you call him nicknames sigh

however our lovely boo kind of forgot how the written letters vary from spoken words

“what are you doing?” seugkwan hummed intrigued upon seeing you scribble something on paper. you looked up and met his soft gaze.

“oh, this? this is a crossword! korean ones are still too difficult for me so my friend sent me a couple of those in (language name)” you explained and tapped the paper with the tip of your pencil. he frowned, looking at the letters in brackets

“what the fuck” kwan grunted confused. not only he didn’t recognise some of the letters but it was also the fact that they were going vertically. you scoffed and let out a sudden gasp, filling in a new word. seungkwan watched you amused, how swiftly you wrote down the letters on paper “what is it?”

“it’s umm, a historical reference. a surname of one guy, you know” you hummed. seungkwan sat down next to you and watched you fill the crossword, occasionally translating the questions and words you put in while you explained what they meant and why were they the answer.

in no time this turned into a couple activity: sometimes like this, sometimes he did a korean one and you watched, sometimes you solved them at the same time - him in korean, you in your mother tongue

he learned a lot of words thanks to this

and he has the cutest accent ever like i swear 🥹

seungkwan loves watching soap operas too like he lives for the drama

often repeats (shouts) what the characters are shouting too LMAO

so you’re chilling and suddenly you hear “get out of my house! now!” with his accent

also watches movies n animations in (language name) to learn some new words

he knows all the disney songs in (language) and majority of them he knows by a heart <\3

so you just sometimes blast let it go or under the sea in (language name) and sing along >_<

┆彡 VERNON [ 버논 ]

this menace

he’s so chill about it

secretly loves when you accidentally sneak some words in your language it’s just so adorable

or when you forget a word and try to describe it… n then you give up and say it in (language name) just to see him smile <\\\\3

he decided that he’ll learn some random words??? like for example he just likes how umbrella sounds in (language name) so he just?? learned how to spell and say it

and uses it in random moments too like he’s so goofy <\3

you were casually chatting with his members, a raging discussion about whether mint chocolate ice cream is such a controversial topic in your country as well.

“i wouldn’t say so? people don’t… really care? a lot of people i know like it, actually! a bigger dispute would rather be some casual stuff like, do you sleep in socks or not… or which goes first: cereal or milk” you explained, looking at vernon. you could almost hear gears turning in his head, knowing what’s about to come

“toothpick” he said in (language name) suddenly, causing everyone to look at him confused. you started laughing at how serious he was when he said it; he started laughing too, it was simply contagious.

his friends looked at you completely flabbergasted, not sure what happened.

“i think they officially lost it” minghao mumbled, a smile creeping on his lips as you and vernon laughed like maniacs.

he always finds the most unfunny memes funny, like it could be even a meme from 2015 and he’d laugh

sends them to you too

and surprisingly?? he’s on track with the newest memes in your country like??

will know the most basic phrases too but sometimes mixes them

do you hand him a piece of orange bc he asked you to and then he goes “goodbye”

and you’re like?? 😭

but he tried okay?!

┆彡 CHAN [ 찬 ]

chan is super hyped about hearing you talk in (language name), it just amazes him how easily you switch between languages

but he never asked u to speak to him bc he didn’t want to feel you pressured or something

but whenever at home you just forget a word he loves when you say it in (language name) even if he doesn’t understand shit

or when you’re just so excited and into a convo and you don’t notice that you sneaked a few foreign words :”)

he always repeats them after you quietly ^_^

one day though, he’s just feeling soft and tired and his brain shut off

“y/n… can you say something in (language name)?” chan whispered suddenly, forcing his eyes to open and peek at you. you hummed, pushing some stray strands of hair that fell onto his forehead. laying on your sides but facing each other, chan noticed how your cheeks flushed pink.

“well… you’re not going to understand me anyways but… i love you. so, so much. i’m so grateful to have you in my life, you make me feel at ease. i can’t imagine my life without you…” you hummed and he noticed how your voice broke when you started the next sentence “and it hurts me to see when you put too much pressure on yourself, baby. you think you’re not good enough but to me, your members and your fans… and literally everyone else, you are. you so are, channie…”

he panicked once you teared up, fully awake. chan pulled you closer, calming you down

“i’m sorry” he mumbled, heart breaking at the sound of your sobs. you just scoffed, shaking your head

“don’t apologise, i just love you so much” you mumbled into his shirt and he swore he was about to melt.

i feel like deep down he knew what you meant <\3

anyways,,

if he hears about one (1) event even slightly connected with (country name) he’ll drag you there so you can feel at home for a moment (as if he’s not your home) and also translate some stuff for him

absolutely loves when you call him nicknames in your mother tongue, like

you could call him the goofiest and cheesiest nickname and he’s squealing like a teenage girl

but then he calls you the same or finds some new nicknames on the internet

sometimes to make you laugh or confuse he’ll put a sentence or a question to google translate and it’ll just… translate it so bad

“what do you mean ‘where’s the broccoli dog??’” you frown and he just laughs his ass off bc 1) it mistranslated OR 2) he purposely put some silly stuff to make you puzzled

[ masterlist <3 ]

taglist.  @geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @ethereallino ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @duolingofanaccount ,, @slytherinshua ,, @stxrseungs ,, @ka-ni-ma ,, @iliveforlixie ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @mark-geolli ,, @l3visbby ,, @w3bqrl ,, @ddeonudepressions ,, @yourfavoritefreakyhan ,, @cinnamoroxie ,, @kazmura ,, @primoppang

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radio star: a svt social media au

summary:  when yn accepts a job at her campus’ radio station her first year in uni, she didn’t expect she’d be anonymously singing stressed out university students to sleep. now, a year and a half in, she didn’t expect that there’d be people trying to figure out her identity either.

genre: college au, slice of life, humor, fluff, angst

pairing: ??? x f!reader

started: 020121

ended: 080321

updates: MWF (hopefully)

profiles one: pledis radio programs + hosts two: philosophy pals

parts one: is this fight club? two: joshua simp wbk  three: it’s just a twt account it can’t hurt me four: hannie care me five: flirting with the boss six: haha lit seven: goodbye dream team eight: two pretty best friends nine: gotta #stayhumble ten: heart went oops eleven: huh twelve: hong it’s on sight thirteen: just a theory fourteen: yn notice us challenge fifteen: u tried buddy sixteen: jeonghan live tweet event seventeen: ok gossip girl eighteen: kiss kiss fall in love szn nineteen: glitch in the simulation twenty: help !! twenty-one: shift in the universe twenty-two: escalator twenty-three: clogging up the tl twenty-four: wtf twenty-five: run away twenty-six: besties twenty-seven: emergency twenty-eight: yn protection squad twenty-nine: run away round two thirty: talk thirty-one: clearing the air thirty-two: caught thirty-three: thinking thirty-four: who do you love

bonus/extras ↳ little bonus updates i felt like writing to help add (?) to the story

—  whoismoonriver rates the pledis radio staff

—  jihoon doesn’t want to take a chance

—  wonwoo is at a loss for words

note; aaah my very first social media au !! after months of just reading sm aus I finally gathered up the courage to make a new blog and write the idea I’ve been mulling over for a while now !! please lmk if any of the links aren’t working and tysm for reading 💗 if you want to be on the taglist, just ask/message <33

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helloo >___< this is my first time to do something like thiss so… can you do something like a reaction of seventeen when they kiss their someone and reader responds w “stop i have a bf” as a joke ! i just saw it on tiktok ! i hope u get it t___t

love u and ur works btw!!! thank you for writing <3 keep on slaying ^__^

thank you so much for your request <3 I had so much fun writing this, hope you'll enjoy reading it as well 🫶🏼

kissing prank with seventeen | OT13

☾₊ ⊹ currently playing: Ice Cream by txt

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL 

𓆩♡𓆪 You decided to prank him as he was leaving for work, thinking he’d be too distracted to notice. “Okay, see you tonight, honey,” he put a hand on your cheek and gave you a quick peck. “What are you doing? I have a boyfriend.” His brain malfunctioned for a second and he just stood there with furrowed brows and a confused face. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND. I’M YOUR BOYFRIEND.” Turns into a whiny, pouty and ANGRY baby, not liking your prank whatsoever. You had to remind him he’d be late for practice, but he’d not care at all. You’d  have to apologise with lots of kisses, but he’d probably still be sulky. 

YOON JEONGHAN 

𓆩♡𓆪 He’d catch onto your prank immediately. You can’t outdo the doer, period. He walked up to you, as you entered the house, kissing you gently. You tried to put on your best act, as you knew he wasn’t easy to fool. “You can’t kiss me, Hannie. I have a boyfriend,” you said in a hushed tone. He’d simply look at you with a straight face and go “yeah, sure. How was work, by the way?” and walked away, with no reaction at all. You’d be a bit sad that it didn’t work, but still, it’s not like you had big expectations for it to work. Jeonghan would notice your reaction to the failed prank and give you some extra kisses as an apology. 

HONG JOSHUA 

𓆩♡𓆪 Would be so confused, because he didn’t understand the prank. “Hey darling, what do you want for dinner?” he’d come up to you and peck the corner of your lips. “Joshua!” “What?” “I have a boyfriend, you can’t kiss me.” You could see his brain trying to comprehend what you’d just said. “Well yeah, I’m your boyfriend?” he’d say and give you a confused look. You’d just roll your eyes and try to explain the prank. At first he’d think that you meant that your relationship was a prank, which made you facepalm yourself. “Forget it. Let’s order dinner.” 

WEN JUNHUI 

𓆩♡𓆪 Please, it would make him so upset. You were watching a TV show, and at some point he leaned in to give you a sweet kiss. “Stop, I have a boyfriend,” you said, trying your best to keep a straight face. “Oh, okay,” he’d say and turn his gaze away from you. It would take him a couple of seconds to understand what exactly you’d just said. He’d scoff at you and scoot to the other edge of the couch, to get as far away from you as he possibly could. “That wasn’t funny,” he’d say and cross his arms, like an angry child. You’d laugh at his reaction and throw yourself at him, hugging him tightly. 

KWON SOONYOUNG 

𓆩♡𓆪 “Get away from me, Soonyoung. I have a boyfriend.” Would be up and ready to fight your imaginary boyfriend. Wouldn't care and wouldn’t listen to you trying to explain that it was just a silly prank, taking it WAY too seriously. It would take some time for him to calm down and listen to you, finally understanding that you didn’t mean what you said. He’d try to give you a silent treatment for making fun of him, but would give up after seeing your upset expression. 

JEON WONWOO

𓆩♡𓆪 Another one that you cannot prank. You’d be at a dinner with your friends, and when he made sure that no one was paying attention, gave you a quick peck on your lips. “Wonwoo, you can’t do that. I have a boyfriend,” you’d try to sound as offended as you could. You’d also give yourself right away, as you started laughing at his unbothered and slightly annoyed expression. He'd probably give you a side eye as well, finding your little prank silly and pointless. “You’re so bad at this, it’s almost hilarious.” In the end, he’d have to apologise in kisses, as you accused him of being mean to you. 

LEE JIHOON

𓆩♡𓆪 Kissing pranks on Jihoon is like one of the worst ideas ever, you’re not sure what exactly had gotten into you. It would be on one of the rare occasions where he would kiss out of his own will. “Stop,” you’d put a hand on his chest. “I have a boyfriend.” His face would go blank, no emotions apparent whatsoever. He’d roll his eyes at you and smirk with a head shake. “You seriously thought this would work?” he’d ask. “No?” Lesson learned, never try to prank Jihoon. 

XU MINGHAO 

𓆩♡𓆪 One of the many drama queens. “You look adorable today,” he’d giggle and kiss you lovingly. “Stop Hao, I have a boyfriend,” you’d say and push him away. The second these words left your mouth, his jaw dropped and his eyes widened in disbelief. At first he wouldn't be able to say anything, being taken aback with your words, but would throw a tantrum right after. He’d gesticulate with his hands in annoyance and get so petty with you, making you taste your own medicine. Would probably ignore you for the rest of the day, until he started to miss you. 

KIM MINGYU 

𓆩♡𓆪 You loved tricking Mingyu, as he almost never caught up to the fact that he was being pranked. He’d kiss you before going to bed, already half asleep. “I have a boyfriend, Mingyu, you can’t just kiss me.” you’d say in a worried tone, making his eyes go wide in surprise. “Oh, right. Sorry,” he’d say and waddle to the bedroom. You’d stay in the same place, crossing your arms and waiting for him to realise. “YOU HAVE A WHAT?” he’d yell from the bedroom. Would be so sad and sulky after, you’d have to be the small spoon for the night, reassuring you that he’s your one and only. 

LEE SEOKMIN 

𓆩♡𓆪 Don’t do this to him. Just don’t. He’d lean to give you a peck, but you’d stop him before he could reach you. “I’m sorry, but I have a boyfriend.” He’d give you an apologetic look and say that it’s okay. He was about to continue what he was doing before, but as he saw your eyes welling up in tears from trying to hold in your laughter, he would understand he was being pranked. He would jokingly start yelling at you, and whine that you’re just being mean to him. You wouldn’t be able to resist his cute expression and kiss his lips and cheeks in a silent apology.

BOO SEUNGKWAN 

𓆩♡𓆪 Another drama queen. “Stop this Seungkwan. I have a boyfriend, you can’t kiss me.” Would throw hands and whine until you didn’t apologise and even then he would still be SO petty. Would not return any of your affection for the rest of the day, side eyeing you constantly and scoffing at everything you’d say. If anyone asked what was wrong, he'd spend the next ten minutes complaining how annoying and ungrateful you are. Would not even bother to listen to your explanation, saying right away, that he doesn’t find your pranks funny. 

CHWE VERNON 

𓆩♡𓆪 No reaction, face blank. He’d plop next to you on the couch, leaning in to kiss you on the cheek. “Stop, I have a boyfriend,” you’d distance yourself from him, reaching casually for the snacks laying on the table. Would look at you with a straight face, not amused at all. “Where did you get that from? Tik tok?” He couldn’t help but laugh when he saw your annoyed expression, which meant that in fact yes, you got it from Tik Tok. “Ugh, you’re no fun.” “Sure I am, your pranks just suck.” 

LEE CHAN 

𓆩♡𓆪 This baby. You heard about the prank from your friends, and you were curious how your boyfriend would react. “I had so much fun today,” he said, as you neared your apartment. He’d stop under one of the post lamps and give you a passionate kiss. You'd push him away “Chan, I have a boyfriend,” you’d say seriously. His heart would break at those words and sadness would appear on his face. “Wha- What do you mean you have a boyfriend?” Seeing his reaction, you wouldn’t have the heart to keep it going and hug him tightly, as you explained that it was simply a prank.

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