Hmph - Tumblr Posts
warnings: mentions of reader being upset, general.. sadness?, cheol being the comforting sweetheart he is
"Something on your mind?"
He'd been observing you for almost five minutes now; Watching the way your index and thumb pluck carefully at the lace of your sneaker from the bottom to the top so it tightens around the frame of your right foot - Watching how you'd begun to tip your head a little higher towards the sky, less watching the sparkling stars above you and now bathing in the moonlight that shrouded over your features and promised nothing but a pale glow.
"Sometimes I feel like I really don't matter."
The speed at which Seungcheol's head snaps to you should prove to be deadly, but his head remains stable on his shoulders as he stares holes into the side of your skull. You sit on his left, your knees tucked to your chest and arms wrapped loose around them to conserve at least a little bit of warmth in the brisk night air.
He sits to your right, legs spread in front of him and leaning back on his hands. But now he sits up a little straighter after hearing you say such a worrying sentence. The sound of it alone sends a small ping of panic to his chest, right into his heart that begins to swallow it whole.
"Why would you ever think that...?" The question leaves his lips slowly as if he's hesitant to even ponder on the fact that you don't feel worthy of existing at times.
When you don't answer right away his stare turns a little more insistent, head tipping so he can try to see your expression a bit better - but there isn't much to read. Your eyes hold a soft shine under the moonlight that pours down into them and Cheol can tell just by peering at you in the darkness that you're beginning to tear up where you sit - but he makes no move to try and wipe the tears or touch over your face in fear that you would cry, because sometimes... crying was what needed to happen in the moment.
"I don't know how to put it into words." Your voice breaks into a whisper and as Cheol moves to reach out to you, his hand brushes over the goosebump-littered skin of your arm. "It's hard to explain."
Your hands come up to your face and in a bout of frustration, you sigh against the warm skin of your palms. You can feel Seungcheol's hand lowering from your arm before it returns, his fingertips leaving your skin burning in their wake with how warm he was - like a personal heater just off to the right only too far away to feel warming the chilled skin of your side.
And Seungcheol understands. Some things aren't easy to format into words - ways other can understand without having to go into grueling detail about whatever it was that was bothering you inside. He understands that gathering your thoughts when your mind is scrambled with thoughts torn apart and intertwining with each other is far harder than just spewing what you're thinking on any other normal day of your life.
So he waits, sitting in silence beside you and a warm pool of patience that surrounds his heart. Looking at you, at your soft yet struggling features, he makes a promise to himself that night that he knew deep down he would never break until the day he was six feet under.
He will wait for you as long as you need him to.
Whenever you need him to.
Always.
how daRe you >:0
i love the french, i love the way they pronounce Rs like they're disgusted with them
Sorry I haven’t posted anything lately. I’ve been a bit upset these past few weeks. A few days ago I was invited by my friends to hang out, it was okay at first, but a few minutes in talking they decided that they wanted to make out. I think they might’ve had a few drinks before I got there. Anyways, I decided to leave them since they made me a third wheel. Again.