I Don't Like It Here But It's Better Than Some People - Tumblr Posts

As someone who lives in America, I complain about America all the time. I complain about the history, the presidents, the gun laws, safe to say I'm not very patriotic..... Until someone from a different country insults America online. (It's usually Brits that I see though I don't wanna generalize) It goes like this.

Me: *hates on America*

Some prick online: *Makes tasteless complaint about the USA*

Me: *spontaneously combusts and transforms into a middle aged white guy on the 4th of July decked out in all American flag attire and an eagle coming to land on my shoulder* USA USA USA USA!!!!!!!!! *Cue American Rage Yell*