I Keep Thinking About This - Tumblr Posts
I really do believe that a lot of folklore, evermore, & midnights is a blend of her present and past experiences/emotions inspired by her going back and revisiting her earlier songs for the re-recordings
Like tolerate it, for instance?? Really strikes me as a combination of inspiration from her previous time in an age-gap relationship and her realizing that she was feeling a lot of the same things in her present relationship
“I polish plates until they gleam and glisten” reminds me of the all too well 10 min short film
But “I made you my temple, my mural, my sky, but now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life” really feels like it was about the relationship where she changed her whole life to suit his wants/needs and made him her muse for YEARS
“Where’s that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire?” = Where’s the man I fell in love with? Also a callback to “something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire”
can we talk about fit cubitos sleeping pose.
1. oh my god hes so fucking goofy looking i love him
2. just something about how he has his arms positioned over his torso, very much aiming to protect vital organs... the personality and story telling that shows, of a hardened warrior from terrible lands - where sleep was probably one of the riskiest things.
i love it
Depressed farm boy dress up time, featuring (another farm boy) long haired butch lesbian Jim Kirk (actually me just wearing a yellow sweater over a black shirt, woah)
Having a really hard time focusing on the task at hand. Navigating manipulation and what feels like psychological warfare from my parents. It’s an intense struggle to sit and think about it, to write things down. To imagine a path forward that sounds appealing.
I spent the morning in a meeting with my parents, then made breakfast and talked to Matthew about the meeting, taking notes. My intention for the afternoon was to work on my response to my parents but I kept finding myself glued to my phone.
Tried to pry myself away, to do something with my body. I stretched. I tried to do a push up, lol. I tried to imagine a me I would want to be.
That’s when I decided to look through Matthew’s closet to dress up. And found a yellow sweater I was hoping for, imagine that.
Need to transition to a “less coping, more problem solving” demeanor but I am failing to do so. I am attempting to organize my thoughts.
Loud rain and thunder today. A mysterious explosion sound in the late evening.
I want to call forth some courage with inspiration from Jim. Courage to “turn death into a fighting chance to live” or whatever.
Sometimes the rats in my brain come together and start yelling “YEARNING” and in trying to appease them I ask “FOR WHAT” but they are too small so all they can say is “YEARNING” which is a very big word for such a tiny creature, even collectively
I often catch myself thinking quite badly of the Catholic church. Which wouldn't happen if I was allowed to be agnostic in peace, but sadly no. I keep thinking of why I left the church too. When I heard my teachers say that abortion is wrong even for a woman who is r*ped. That's when I knew something was wrong and that's when I started to question the church. Which lead me to my beliefs now.
I often catch myself thinking quite badly of the Catholic church. Which wouldn't happen if I was allowed to be agnostic in peace, but sadly no. I keep thinking of why I left the church too. When I heard my teachers say that abortion is wrong even for a woman who is r*ped. That's when I knew something was wrong and that's when I started to question the church. Which lead me to my beliefs now.