Tolerate It - Tumblr Posts
i know my love should be celebrated
but you tolerate it
I sit and watch you. I notice everything you do or don't do.
I sit and watch you. I notice everything you do or don't do.
I really do believe that a lot of folklore, evermore, & midnights is a blend of her present and past experiences/emotions inspired by her going back and revisiting her earlier songs for the re-recordings
Like tolerate it, for instance?? Really strikes me as a combination of inspiration from her previous time in an age-gap relationship and her realizing that she was feeling a lot of the same things in her present relationship
“I polish plates until they gleam and glisten” reminds me of the all too well 10 min short film
But “I made you my temple, my mural, my sky, but now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life” really feels like it was about the relationship where she changed her whole life to suit his wants/needs and made him her muse for YEARS
“Where’s that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire?” = Where’s the man I fell in love with? Also a callback to “something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire”
I SIT AND WATCH YOU
I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it.
"I'm just your wife on paper, so I don't understand why you're acting like this!"
"Let me make it clear to you. I don't care that you're just my wife on paper, because either way, you are legally and rightfully my wife. You're my responsibility, mine to love, mine to kiss, and mine to fuck. If another man touches you like he did, he's fucking dead. Are we clear?"
"Crystal."
"Good. Now get down on your knees."
when it hurtsss.......when it hurts so goodd do you take ittttt???????!!!!! I'M HERE FOR THIS!!!
tolerate it masterlist
⟶ SUMMARY : Taehyung is your husband, and you love him. If only he loved you back; if only he cherished your love and not tolerated it.
⟶ GENRE : heavy angst, one-sided love, forced marriage, infidelity, smut
⟶ RATING : 18+
⟶ WC : 6k [ongoing]
⟶ WARNINGS : A N G S T, sadness, heartbreak, one-sided love, taehyung is an asshole, husband!taehyung, infidelity, angst, divorce, more as story progresses.
MASTERLIST ₊˚✧ TAGLIST₊˚✧ PLAYLIST
‧₊˚ CHAPTERS INDEX
⟶ chapter one [ 6.5k ]
Taehyung is your husband, and you love him. If only he loved you back; if only he cherished your love and not tolerated it.
intermission — endure it [ 2.8k ]
Loving Kim Taehyung is only pain and you must endure it.
⟶ chapter two [ coming soon ]
Attempting to divorce Kim Taehyung proves to be harder than you thought, especially when your heart gets in your way.
⟶ chapter three [ coming soon ]
The end.
⟶ FAQ ;
when do you update?
i believe chapter 2 will take less time than chapter three, but we’ll see!
how many chapters will this series have in total?
3 chapters!
can i be on your taglist?
of course !! please fill the form on top of the post & i will be adding u <3
TT n TT
tolerate it, chapter 1 — kth
⟶ SUMMARY : Taehyung is your husband, and you love him. If only he loved you back. If only he cherished your love and not tolerated it.
⟶ GENRE : heavy angst, one-sided love, forced marriage, infidelity, eventual smut
⟶ RATING : 18+
⟶ WORD COUNT : 6.5k
⟶ WARNINGS : heavy angst, sadness, heartbreak, self-loathing, one-sided love, husband!taehyung, infidelity, he’s with another woman but the marriage is forced, lots of crying, mentions of divorce & attempt of divorce, oc comes back as a girlboss but is still sad, taehyung is suspicious and an asshole.
⟶ NOTE : FINALLY IT’S HERE!!! This will be three parts & i’m so excited to finally share this fic with you guys!!!! I’ve been keeping this from you guys for way too long, and i apologise for the huuuuuuuge delay, but it’s finally here !!! <3 i hope u guys enjoy, there is two more chapters coming in the future hehe
SERIES MASTERLIST ₊˚✧ MASTERLIST ₊˚✧TAGLIST₊˚✧PLAYLIST
“I’ll be back by eight.” He says, but you know he won’t be, just like every other night.
You’re used to it. You know that he doesn’t love you, that your parents forced your marriage to bring the Kim and Song companies together. Then, why does it hurt you so much if your wedding was forced? As if you’re getting stabbed right in the heart if everything is just pretend?
That’s simple—because you love Kim Taehyung.
You and he grew up together; your parents were best friends, and your marriage was agreed on when you were only a baby, still crawling and drinking your mother’s milk.
And falling for Taehyung was a given; you’ve been in love with him since you were mere children, the love you had for him gradually morphing into something with such intensity that only thinking about him is enough for your heart to implode.
Keep reading
Dean Winchester x Reader: tolerate it.
Warnings: Swearing (probably), angsty?? and with fluff but it remains angsty until the end. also, dean doesn't (know how to) acknowledge reader's obvious feelings for him, lowercase intended, unrequited love coded.
Tags: angsty, hunter!reader, reader has known sam and dean since kids, no season states, can be read as black reader, can be read as plus size reader.
Reader pronouns: they/them (used once)
Word count: 785
Summary: When Reader bursts into tears because of seeing Dean hurt, he doesn't know how to react.
Author’s note: another dean thingie because angst is my specialty and i was feeling THAT kinda way... I rarely ever write for Dean! Not because I don’t like him (I LOVE HIM), but because since I haven’t finished the show (i've just finished season 8) the requests have to be either pre-show or within those seasons. Anyways, Dean and Sam Winchester requests are open, but with those conditions !! love my boys <3 also gif is not mine.
you cried when you saw dean really hurt after a hunt for the first time in long months.
it made you feel childish and stupid, as you had been into the hunter life for as long as he had, as you two and sammy had been through hell and back; but when you saw the exhaustion in his face, the hopeless look in his eyes as he tried not to move his arm too much because the pain was piercing and burning him, you couldn't help it. tears had ran down your cheeks in silence, blurring the sight of the gold rush of a man you called dean, but before you could turn your face away from him and sam, they saw you.
"hey..." dean started, and that was enough for you. you couldn't take it.
your steps were quick towards the door of that old, stinky motel dorm the three of you had found hours ago, making sure to grab dean's impala keys before you stepped outside. sam called out your name and even opened the door, fearful that you might just take the car and drive away from them and the reality, the pain, the misery. but you only needed the keys to open the door to the car and lock yourself in, spacing out of everything around you to try and rationalize the cascade of emotions you were feeling.
sam sighed softly, almost in relief, when he saw you weren't going anywhere, and he closed the door with care before turning to his brother. dean's eyes were filled with worry, an anxious expression that sam hadn't seen many times outside of the battlefield, but he understood.
"should i..." dean had to clear his throat to recover his voice from the surprise, the hoarse shock your reaction had thrown him onto. "should i go talk to them?"
"later?" sam asked like that was dean's original idea. he heard dean rushing to him in agreement, like he had never intended to go right now. "yeah, i think you should. later."
dean nodded stiffly. "later."
later was an eternity, but dean waited. he cleaned his wound, patched it up with sam's help, got a beer and then he got a second one, and a third one. he waited, sitting in his bed with his gaze lost in the floor boards beneath his boots, and sam didn't try to pull him back to reality.
later came when sam decided to get into bed, shutting the little lamp by his side. dean brushed his face with his hand, rather harshly to wake himself up from the trance he had put himself into, and then he moved the curtains to the side to make sure you hadn't drive away from them. you hadn't, and he already knew that because he would have heard you, but his heart slowed down at the sight of you still in the car.
dean closed the door to the room softly and made his way to the door slowly. you had your eyes closed, as you sat on the drivers seat, not asleep but completely disconnected from your surroundings. he had to knock on the glass window to get you to open your eyes, and your eyes softened when they locked with his, so soft, so caring.
surrounding the car, dean got into the passenger seat as soon as you allowed him too, closing the door to allow the intimate conversation to stay inside the vehicle.
"hey."
"hey." you muttered. you let your eyes close for longer than usual, then turned to look at him. "i'm sorry, i overreacted."
dean pursed his lips slightly. "we've gotten through so much worse. you know that."
"i know." your voice was barely a whisper. "i know. i just worry, you know? i... can't really help it."
"i know." he nodded along to his words, giving them value, making you feel like he was finally listening to what you had to say. still, your heart ached. "but i'm alright. i promise."
"we always are."
he only looked at you from the corner of his eyes. "it's what the job asks of us."
"i know." you had never sound so bitter in your entire life, you knew. but he avoided to look at you, and you did the same. "you're alright."
some beats of silence. then, a slow grin started forming in his face, "you should've seen the other guy."
"too soon."
"ah, c'mere." his arm extended and wrapped you around your shoulders, pushing you closer to him. you let him handle you, accommodating your head against his good shoulder, closing your eyes. your heart ached more and more and more--- "we've survived. that's enough."
but it wasn't.
i know my love should be celebrated
but you tolerate it.
—tolerate it
pairing: tasm!peter parker x reader
summary: maybe you and peter had done a good job at ignoring your problems, or maybe there was nothing worth saving anymore
warnings: toxic!peter, basically a very toxic relationship, underage drinking, a bit too much drinking.. let me know if i missed something
note: the ending is a bit in the air, you can make out of it what you want
"hey! how are you?" gwen hugged you smiling and sat down on the sofa beside you.
"i'm good" you smiled "where's harry?" you asked, finding it weird that he was nowhere in sight.
"oh he's off playing beer-pong with his friends" gwen explained "i saw you across the room and thought i'd join you" she paused, unsure if she should say what she was thinking, but eventually did "you looked lonely"
you nodded your head and gwen swore she saw you blink away a tear. "thanks for sitting by me" you smiled and then looked around the room quickly "i don't know where he is, he told me to wait here. it's been an hour since i've last seen him"
"oh sweetheart" you had almost bursted into tears at her caring tone "he just left you here?"
you shrugged, it's not like that was something new to you. peter would often bring you with him to these frat parties, just to disappear into thin air the moment you entered a place.
"i don't mind" you lied and gwen looked at you unbelievingly. "it's great that you are here, finally someone i know" you meant to change the topic, but gwen furrowed her brows at that.
"he left you alone and you don't even know anyone?" she asked unbelievingly "does he know how dangerous these parties can get?"
the question was rhetoric. of course peter knew that.
"i don't drink" you said, as if that would make it any better.
"doesn't matter" gwen shook her head "everyone else does" she took a calming breath "why would you even be here when you just sit on your own?"
"because peter likes to take me with him"
"and he isn't anywhere to be found" gwen looked around the room "typical"
"he doesn't always do that"
"he did it back in highschool too" gwen reminded you "i thought he had stopped with that, i thought he had changed, was the only explanation for me how you guys were still together"
"i really don't mind"
"well you should" she looked at you worriedly "why don't you just break up with that dick, y/n?"
"i love him" you said as if that would excuse everything. "i have loved him for the past five years"
"and he treats you like that?"
you shrugged. "i can't help it" you almost said bitterly "sometimes i hate him, especially when he does things like that, but i still love him"
"do you think that is healthy?" gwen asked genuinely.
you shook your head and tears brimmed at your eyes. "no" you looked into her eyes and she could've almost started crying too. "love shouldn't be like this, right? loving someone should be easy" you turned your head to look at harry and gwen followed the direction your eyes where going "it looks easy for you two"
gwen had to be honest "it's not always easy" she admitted.
"i know" you said "but i don't think it should make me feel how i feel"
"how do you feel?"
"hurt" you simply said "i feel hurt any time i look at him"
gwen was ready to repeat her earlier advice, simply convincing you to finally break up with peter parker, but to her surprise you weren't finished.
you breathed a shaky breath. "and i feel guilty" you almost whispered "there was a time where it was easy to love him, as easy as breathing and doing it made me happy. it felt like back then we were loving each other the right way and now-" you paused and sighed "i don't think we have been loving each other the right way for a long time. but somehow we still belong together, even if that doesn't make sense in the slightest"
"i don't know if it does" gwen said honestly "but that doesn't make it wrong" she thought about what to tell you, and her mind slipped by the question if a frat party was the right place for a conversation like that, but she continued to speak anyway. "did you ever tell peter that?"
"what?" you looked up to her in surprise.
"maybe it would help both of you to talk about it" gwen suggested "he might be feeling the same way" she shrugged. "but just so you know, his behaviour is still absolutely unacceptable and if he doesn't change it up i'll have harry take care of him"
"thank you" you smiled, hugging her.
when you sat back down, there was a loud voice calling your name and soon enough peter entered your field of vision. he was being held up by harry.
"he's wasted" harry explained, which wouldn't have been necessary. you had known it immediately when you had first heard him call for you.
"y/n" peter slurred, trying to free himself out of harry's hold "let's make out"
you sighed and ignored him, instead turning your head at harry and gwen. "could you maybe help me to get him home?" you asked "i would do it alone, but it's late and i don't—“
"of course" gwen interrupted your rambling. harry nodded as well.
"thank you" you said, relieved.
gwen and harry helped you navigate through the crowded party, guiding peter, who was clearly in no state to walk on his own. as you exited the chaos of the frat house, the cool night air hit you, and you couldn't help but feel a mix of frustration and exhaustion.
"he's really out of it," harry remarked, glancing at peter struggling to keep his balance.
"yeah" you nodded, a tinge of embarrassment in your voice. "i appreciate your help. i didn't want to deal with this alone."
gwen gave you a sympathetic look "you shouldn't have to deal with this at all," she said, genuine concern etched on her face.
as you reached peter’s place, you collectively managed to get him inside and settled on the couch. harry, ever the protective friend, shot peter a disapproving look.
"i’ll take care of him," you assured them, grateful for their assistance.
harry hesitated, "are you sure you're okay?"
you nodded, "yeah, i’ll manage. thanks again for helping."
after gwen and harry left, you found yourself alone with peter, who was now slumped on the couch, still lost in the haze of alcohol. you sighed, both annoyed and exhausted by the evening's events.
you unfolded one of the blankets, burying peter under it. then you made sure he was laying on the side and set a few alarms to check on him throughout the night. you left the room, slipping into the bed in the other room.
the night was not as busy as you had predicted it to be. peter did not wake up and was fine and breathing as normal any time you checked on him, probably thanks to his faster metabolism, getting rid of the alcohol as fast as it had registered in his body.
it was only nine a.m. when you silently walked out of the bedroom on your way to the toilet. peter was still asleep, peacefully laying on the couch. your eyes softened when they fell on him. he looked so tired, but still much more like him than yesterday.
he was just sitting up when you came back from the bathroom. "hey" he muttered, his voice hoarse.
"hi"
you contemplated gwen's words from yesterday, the sincerity in her eyes when she spoke about love not always being easy. the heaviness in your chest returned as you looked at peter, wondering if it was time to address the issues that had been piling up between you.
"peter," you said, your voice firm but weary. "i think we need to talk."
he blinked at you, not quite awake yet. "talk? right now?"
"yes, peter, right now" you took a deep breath. "I can't keep feeling like this. like i'm alone in our relationship like i'm waiting for you all the time."
his brow furrowed in confusion, but you pressed on, "i love you, but things can't continue like this. we need to figure out if we're still right for each other."
peter's eyes widened. "what are you saying?"
"i'm saying we need to either fix this or admit that maybe it's time to move on," you replied, your voice steady despite the emotions bubbling beneath the surface.
the room fell silent as peter processed your words. eventually, he let out a heavy sigh, "i didn't realize it was this bad."
tears welled up in your eyes, "it's been bad for a while now, peter. we can't keep pretending like everything is fine."
he nodded slowly, a mixture of regret and realization crossing his features. "i want to make us work, but i don't want you to feel like that" he paused, just for a second, a few tears slipping over his cheeks "i didn't know.."
"i should've told you"
"i should've noticed" he looked up at you, regret evident on his features.
"yeah" you admitted "maybe you should've" you softly put a hand on his shoulder, he grabbed it, comfortingly squeezing it.
"i've been acting like a dick, maybe because i knew deep down that something was wrong. i thought shutting you out would shut the problem out too" he admitted and you nodded, somewhat understanding what he was talking about.
"i've been holding on to something too" you said softly "but ignorance won't help us anymore"
"i'm sorry" he said, adverting his eyes.
"i know, peter" you nodded "me too"
I sit and watch you
I notice everything you do or don't do
You're so much older and wiser and I ...
I wait by the door like I'm just a kid
Use my best colors for your portrait
Lay the table with the fancy shit
And watch you tolerate it
If it's all in my head, tell me now
Tell me I've got it wrong somehow
I know my love should be celebrated ... but you tolerate it
While you were out building other worlds, where was I?
Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?
I made you my temple, my mural, my sky
Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life
Drawing hearts in the byline
Always taking up too much space or time
You assume I'm fine,
but what would you do if I
Break free and leave us in ruins
Took this dagger in me and removed it
Gain the weight of you then lose it
Believe me, I could do it
If it's all in my head, tell me now
Tell me I've got it wrong somehow
I know my love should be celebrated
But you tolerate it
my love should be celebrated, not tolerated
another ts parallel i've noticed that no-one has talked about
