I LOVE DESPERATE HEESEUNG GODDDD - Tumblr Posts
Close to you
Pairing: Heeseung x fem!reader
Sypnosis: going on a little holiday trip with your best friends sounds nice. Heeseung finally gets his chance to show you how much he likes you and you don't know how to feel about it.
Genre: smut, angst, | MINORS DNI
Warnings: jerking off, kissing, making out in general, heeseung being sad, reader being unsure about her feelings, sex talk between reader and Heeseung | ficitonal characters named Mina and Jack + all the others in the story are just a supporting role!!
More smut will be in part. 2 because i wanted to build the story first!
Note: do NOT JUST LIKE my writing, it gets me shadowbanned! Reblog and give feedback!
Note2: this is my writing style and I won't change it! Don't like it, don't read it!!
I had so much struggle writing this part. It's a lot of conversations going on. I don't really like it, yet I'm proud of it because it's the first time for me to build a story. So PLEASE just keep all of your rude comments to yourself! I put all my heart and free time in it. If you don't like it, just don't read it! i'm not an author just a hobby writer, keep that in mind.
Taglist: @avaleyshin @heavenyoungjae @sumzysworld @mheretoreadff @mayisreadingrightnow @jinostooth @getluckyhoonie @rayofsunshineeee
Series: what are you willing to?
Part2 -> First time, down bad Part3 -> Let me love you
Finally a few days away from the daily trouble, just you and your best friends. You were looking forward to this trip the whole time.
And now all of you were gathered at your place. “Damn,Y/N.It's only for a few days, what did you pack?” Jake muttered while he took your suitcase(s) to the car.
“I'm a girl and unless like you guys I need more stuff. I can't just leave with headphones and my phone.” You said.
He turned around slowly “planning to seduce one of us, so you packed sexy lingerie?” He said and wiggled his eyebrows
“You wish, Jake.”
“I'm sure Heeseung wouldn't mind.” Jake said more to himself than to you.
“What did you say?” You asked
He told you it was nothing and finally put your suitcases in the car. You were trying to shrug it off, he was probably just joking.
“So, we need to decide the groups for the car. Also since Jungwon is coming with us we're more people.” Jay said, while walking towards you.
“I wanna be in the same car as Y/N.” Sunghoon shouted somewhere from the other side.
“Me too.” Heeseung said almost shyly.
You looked at Heeseung and he smiled at you. You returned his smile and then Sunghoon suddenly was beside you, putting his arm around your shoulder. You didn't see it but Heeseung's smile turned into a frown.
In the car you were in the backseat, between Sunghoon and Heeseung, the driver was a close friend of yours and her boyfriend in the passenger seat.
Right, you asked your girl best friend to join you as well, so you had at least some girl time. And you were more than happy that she agreed.
The drive started out good, with listening to music, talking and laughing. But soon you got tired and you eventually fell asleep. Heeseung didn't even dare to move, when he suddenly felt your head on his shoulder. He started to sweat but tried to keep calm.
Sunghoon looked over to him and had a mischievous smile on his face.
“at least you're one step closer to getting close to her.” He teased him
Heeseung just sent his friend a look that could kill someone and decided just to close his eyes.
When you woke, your head was still on Heeseung's shoulder and Sunghoon somehow ended up being closer to you too.
“I guess you had a nice sleep.” Your friend said and smiled.
You just rolled your eyes at her “definitely not.Are we there?”
“In a few minutes, yes.” She said.
-----
You had to wake up Sunghoon and Heeseung and then you finally arrived there.
Jay rented a holiday apartment and you were really looking forward to it.
The others arrived just a few minutes before you guys did. Sunghoon then climbed out of the car and you followed right after him. Somehow you wanted to get away from Heeseung, it's not that you didn't like him, god no. He belongs to your closest friends but still you tried to stay away from him.
After everyone gathered in the living room, you had to pick your rooms.
“So, there problem is or it's not really one but some of us have to share a room. One room goes to Mina and Jack.” Jay said.
“I'm going to share my room with Jake” Sunghoon said and Jake gave him a handshake and a yeah bro.
The four of them went to get their suitcases and now there was only Jay, Jungwon, Heeseung and you left. You saw the way Heeseung was looking at you the whole time. And you didn't know how to feel about it.
“Heeseung and Y/N you can share a room, right?” Jay asked the two of you.
"Yeah, sure.” You said, not really sounding happy about it.
The couple and the besties were sharing rooms, of course. You were not mad about it and Heeseung is your friend too but it's different.
-----
You went to the car to get your suitcases and Heeseung followed right behind you.
“Let me help you.” He said softly and took your stuff.
He brought everything in your now shared room and you just followed him. The room looked nice until you saw there was only one big bed.
“There is only one bed?” You said with a sigh.
“I can sleep on the couch in the living room, it's no big deal. He suggested
You felf bad and you knew he was just as excited for this trip as everyone else was.
“No, we can sleep together.. I mean we can share the bed.” You quickly said.
Heeseung giggled and assured you he knows what you meant.
Heeseung could feel the way you kept your distance towards him. He didn't know why because actually you're not like that. And he knew you were not happy about sharing the room with him. But he was happy about it, he liked you and he liked you a lot.
Some time later you and Mina went out for a walk “It's really so lovely here, isn't it?” She said
“It is, yes.It's nice.”
She stopped walking “What's wrong? Is it because you're sharing a room with Hee? I can ask Jack if he wants to switch roommates.”
“No, there is no need for it. It's just, I don't know. He is always so kind and yes he is also one of my best friends but in the car it was weird.” You said quietly.
“You know he likes you right? In the car before he fell asleep, he kept looking at you and his eyes spoke for him.”
“Oh come on, that's ridiculous..” And with that you turned around and went back to the house.
Sunghoon and Jay were sitting in the kitchen when you walked inside. They spared each other some glances and Sunghoon raised his eyebrows.
“Bad mood?” Sunghoon asked you
You didn't even bother to answer him and went to the bathroom. You took a shower and then you realized that you were really hungry. You didn't eat anything after you had breakfast and since you arrived at the holiday apartment.
Heeseung, Jungwon and Jake got back from buying food. Heeseung saw you standing there talking to Mina and her boyfriend. Your hair was a little wet from your shower but he thought right now you looked absolutely beautiful.
“You should just talk to her.” Sunghoon told him
“She doesn't even want to share a room with me, let alone the bed. So what should I tell her?” Heeseung said quietly.
Sunghoon sighed “ but maybe she likes you back and that's the reason why she is acting this way.”
He only wished that Sunghoon was right. So during dinner Heeseung decided to sit next to you. Sunghoon was eyeing both of you all the time and he almost felt sorry for heeseung , since you tried to keep the distance between the two of you.
-----
Heeseung took a shower and got ready for bed too. He felt nervous to share a bed with you and he hoped not to pop a boner because that would be awkward as fuck. He thought a lot about you and you could never know about how he was jerking off, thinking about you almost every night.
When he entered the bedroom, you were already lying in bed. He put his clothes on the chair that was in the room and climbed into bed as well. He then saw your sleeping clothes, your short shorts and a simple T Shirt but it was enough for him to let his mind wander. Great, he thought.
You had to admit, he smelled heavenly and he looked handsome. Especially right now with the faint light from outside and he looked kind of cuddly.
“Wanna talk a little bit?” He asked you, bringing you back from your thoughts.
“Yes, sure.”
He took a deep breath “can I ask you something?”
“Of course, go ahead.”
"Did you sleep with someone before?"
"Huh?What do you mean? As in the same bed?" You asked him, a little taken aback from his question.
"I mean, have you ever had sex before?"
You blinked once, twice before you could even answer him.
"Uhh yes, I had sex.What about you?”
"I never had sex before." He admitted feeling a little bit nervous.
His answer surprised you. He was attractive, kind hearted and everything a girl could wish for.
"Oh so, you're a virgin?"
You almost sounded disappointed. He turned around to face you.
"Is it bad? I mean I kissed someone before.”
You looked into his eyes, his pretty doe eyes.
"You never went further with a girl then?” You asked him
He took in your features, how bad he wanted to kiss you right now.
"No, it just never happened. I want to do it with someone I'm in love with.” He said softly.
"And is there someone you're in love with?” You whispered.
"Yes there is a girl and I think I'm in love with her.”
Lucky girl, you thought.
“That's nice, really nice.” You said.
It was weird, you pushed him away but somehow it made you feel sad to hear that he was in love with someone.
“And you?Do you like someone?” He already regretted his question.
“No, there is no one. Good night, Heeseung.” with that you turned around, trying to sleep.
Good night, Y/N”. His heart dropped. But what did he expect? Heeseung tried to sleep as well.
In the morning you woke up with Heeseung's arm wrapped around your waist. He felt warm and cuddly just like you thought last night. But something else seemed to be awake too. You closed your eyes and then you carefully pushed your back a little bit closer to him, he automatically wrapped one of his legs around yours. And you were right, now you could feel it, he was hard.
When you moved, a quiet moan left his lips. Heeseung woke up from your movements and the sticky feeling in his boxers. He quickly let go of you, feeling embarrassed.
“Oh my god, i'm so sorry y/n.” He apologized. He was just about to get up when you stopped him.
“It's okay, it's only natural.. and I could help you.. if you want me to.”
He swallowed hard at your words. He must be dreaming.
“I–I don't know..I can do it myself.” He mumbled
“If that's what you want.” And then you closed your eyes again.
Of course it's not what he wants, he wants to feel your fingers around his cock, he wants to feel your touch. And looking at you, with your exposed skin makes it even worse.
“Okay.”
“Okay what?” You teased, looking at him again.
“I want you to touch me.” He said shyly
“close your eyes and relax okay?”
He nodded and laid back down, doing as you told him. You started to palm him through his clothed cock and his breath hitched. He didn't even dare to open his eyes
You then let your hand travel towards the waistband of his sleeping shorts, signaling him to take it off. He lets you pull down his shorts followed by his boxers. You had to admit, he had a pretty cock, the perfect size you thought. You could see the precum pooling out of his slit and then you reached for it and started to pump him slowly.
Letting your thumb glide over his slit, made his cock twitch. Just when he opened his eyes he saw you spitting on his cock and that's it for him.
“Fuck, oh god.” He moaned
You jerked him off at a steady pace, making him thrust in your hand. “Does that feel good,hm?”
“God,yes..it feels so fucking good.better than i imagined.” He groaned.
You looked at him after he said the last sentence. He imagined this? No fucking way. Then you just kept on going, playing with his balls, letting him fuck your hand.
“Y/N..I'm going to cum.” He whined
His skin prickled everywhere, his muscles tensed and he couldn't stop moaning your name.
“It's okay, cum for me.” And then his cum spurted out of his cock. So much cum you thought. It landed on your hand and his abdomen. You had to resist the urge to lick it off of him.
Heeseung felt like he was in heaven. He catches his breath and opens his eyes. His soft doe eyes.
You were about to get up and wash your hands when he stopped you “Thank you.” He said smiling shyly at you once again.
You just nodded at him and left the room going straight to the bathroom.
“Good morning, Y/N.” Jungwon greeted you happily when you got out of the bathroom.
“Good morning, Jungwon.” You said back with a smile.
“Did you sleep well?”
“I slept pretty good, what about you?”
“Me too.” He said and took a bite from his toast.
“Was it okay? To share the bed with Heeseung?"
You almost choked on your own toast when he asked you that “yes– yes it was okay.”
Jungwon looked at you and then he finished his food. You didn't feel like eating anymore and decided to go for a morning walk. Jungwon waved you goodbye and then you got everything you needed.
-----
Breathing in the fresh air felt amazing. You took another deep breath, you were just about to put your headphones in, you heard someone calling your name.
You turned around to see who it was unbelievable you thought.
“Y/N wait, I'm coming with you.” A very happy Heeseung shouted over to you.
He jogged over to you and the two of you walked quietly for a while. When you reached a bench the two of you sat down. Heeseung was debating whether to tell you or not. He decided it's now or never.
“Y/N.. I–I need to tell you something.” He said hesitantly
“Tell me then.”
He took a deep breath “Look, I know we're best friends but.. the thing is, I really like you and I like you a lot.”
At this moment you didn't know what to think or how to feel. He looked at you with so much hope, so sincere.
“Heeseung..”
He scooted closer to you, bringing his hand to your cheek caressing it gently with his thumb. You melted into his touch and then his face got closer to yours.
“I wanna kiss you, I wanna kiss you so bad.”
When you didn't answer, he studied your face carefully. And then he leaned in. His lips felt soft and warm. He kissed you so passionately yet desperately and then you finally kissed him back. His tongue begged for entrance and you let him, tongues now chasing each other and then he pulled you on his lap.
You straddled him and the kiss got even more heated. Heeseung thought he was in heaven once again. Here he was outside on a bench making out with you and he loved every second of it.
And then you stopped kissing him “This is a mistake, I'm sorry.”
“No Y/N, please wait.” He said and you could hear how hurt he was.
“Please, Y/N..what is it? Am I not experienced enough? Is it that bad that I like you? That I'm in love with you?”
So you were the girl he was in love with and everyone knew and fuck they even told you.
“No, that's not it..It's just – nevermind.” You just left him standing there, you didn't even dare to look back because you know you hurt his feelings.
Heeseung stayed there for a while, he felt embarrassed and sad. The way you kissed him, just like he kissed you, passionately.
He was so deep in thoughts, he didn't even realize that Sunghoon was now sitting next to him.
“Are you okay,bro?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Sunghoon asked him
“We kissed and she ran away.”
That's something Sunghoon wasn't expecting (the kissing part especially). But that explained why you were acting grumpy.
“I really like her, Hoon.. Back home she acts normal around me but since we arrived here, she's different.”
Sunghoon was listening to the older boy, he didn't like it seeing him so sad.
-----
“Why are you being so grumpy?” Mina asked you
“It's nothing.”
"Are you sure?”
“Heeseung and I..we kissed”
“Aaand?”
You rolled your eyes at her “And nothing.”
“No y/n, what I think is you actually like him too.Come on, he is a catch personality wise and he is good looking too.”
You didn't even bother to answer her and just went to your room. You would be fully aware of your feelings for him.
Heeseung spent the rest of the day with the boys while you went shopping with Mina. And yet he couldn't stop thinking about you, about the way your lips felt on his. He wanted you so bad not sexually (that too) but as his girlfriend. He was crazy in love with you or better said a fool in love. He felt that way for a long time and he wanted to take the chance on this trip to confess his feelings.
Back at the apartment, Heeseung was waiting for you in your shared room. He got your favorite dessert and he even made the room look more romantic. He was pacing back and forth, talking to himself to get over the nervousness.
When you finally entered the room, you were taken aback. Rose Petals, the dim light and candles. On the small table you have a strawberry-cheesecake, one piece for you and one for heeseung. And Heeseung? He was standing in the room with a hopeful look in his eyes, smiling at you.
“What are you doing?” You asked him in almost a whisper.
“Let's eat some cake and I will tell you, okay?”
You nodded and sat across from him.
“The cake is so good, I think it's the best one I have ever tried.” you said.
“I'm glad you like it.”
“The room looks pretty too.”
He smiled to himself feeling proud.
“Y/N, I need to tell you something.”
it took him a lot of courage, especially after you ran away after kissing each other.
“I'm in love with you. I truly love you so much.”
You didn't say anything, you didn't even know what to think right now. What makes it even worse, Heeseung's teary eyes.
“Hee, I–I don't know what to say.. Just one question, is that the reason why you told me..that you're a virgin? Is that why you asked me all of this?”
Heeseung stared into the air, his grip on the fork made his knuckles turn white.
“What is it going to take to make you love me? What more can I do? Is falling in love with me..that bad?”
you didn't really expect it to be Heeseung, maybe Jake because at home he was flirting with you all the time. but now it kind of makes sense, Heeseung did everything for you, he was there for you all the time. He took care of you and all the things a boyfriend would do. Okay, since you guys arrived here you were acting like a bitch towards him and why? Because you were scared of your own feelings.
You got up and walked over to him, cupping his cheeks you practically had to force him to look at you. His eyes were red and your heart dropped even more.
“Lee Heeseung, there is not a single bad thing about falling in love with you, okay?”
He put his hands over yours and then you leaned down to kiss him. Surprised by your actions at first it didn't take long for him to kiss you back. He got up, slowly walking towards the bed until he was on top of you. The kiss got more intense and it turned you on, you could tell it was the same for Heeseung. You could feel his boner against your clothed pussy.
Heeseung started moaning into the kiss, his cock was throbbing in his jeans. He really wanted you, so so bad. His first time with you? Fuck, yes.
“I wanna feel you, y/n. I wanna feel you so bad.” He said in between kisses.
You moaned against his lips “It's your first time, are you sure about it?”
This is what he wanted all the time, right?
He wants to be close to you.
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