I Might Do One For The Bachelorettes - Tumblr Posts

brain rot hours 👀? you said nsfw was cool sooooooo what do you think shane sounds like in bed lol

This ask made my brain rot even worse so I did all of the bachelors LMFAO. This is kind of all over the place, and I veered off tangentially on a few of them, but I did my best to stick to the topic. I also went ahead and situated them in (what I think is, anyway) ascending age order, so younger bachelors are first. Some are longer than others but that does not reflect my feelings for them. No favoritism here, bay-bee. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Thank you very much for your request hkjhlashfiloveu. :)

All of them are NSFW. There are mentions of sub/dom dynamics, explicit language, praise/degradation/dirty talk, a few bits of dialogue, mentions of oral sex, and I curse quite a bit. Sorry about that. I also tried my best to keep everything gender neutral, but let me know if there’s anything I can improve on. If you want an afab or amab farmer, I can write both, just remember to specify in the future! As usual, minors, please do not interact!!

Sam

Sam is fucking loud, okay?

Lead singer of a band and you really think he doesn’t have a set of pipes on him?

You’ve reserved your escapades to the farm only, because Haley and Emily would get an earful if you fooled around at his place, and you don’t need any incidents with his family overhearing his loud ass, either

He is loud, and he is shameless, and whether it’s moaning, whimpering, whining, or groaning—you’ll hear it out of him

Mans is versatile

Pathetic is one of the only words I can find to describe how he sounds in bed though if I’m honest

This guy definitely doesn’t have too much experience, so it’s easy to rile him up, and holy fuck if he isn’t sensitive as hell

He’ll make noise even if you're just kissing him

And he’s needy

“You’re too far away, come here” “kiss me more”

This boy has a filthy mouth on him

And he begs like a little bitch lol

“Please, I’m so close, it’s right there, just a little more, fuck please”

If you were expecting him to be a dom you’re on the wrONG BLOG LMFAO

Tie him up and treat him a little roughly, and this boy is drooling with fucking heart eyes, I promise you

But yeah, doesn’t matter if you’ve got your hands on him, if you’re blowing him, or if y’all are fucking, he’s gonna make noise no matter what

When he’s close, his voice gets higher and comes out faster, so every other breath he’s making noise

The only time he’s completely and utterly silent is when he comes

He’s the type to hold his breath when it hits him, and it only lasts a few seconds before he’s gasping and moaning again

And even if all of the attention is on you, and you’re not touching him, this man is gonna be loud

If he’s fingering you? Definitely gonna spill a few curses at how you feel on his fingers

If you let him go down on you? He’s moaning, and lord help him, if you start pulling his hair and forcing him this way and that??

Lights out, goodnight, he is officially gone.

Sebastian

Depends heavily on circumstance, I think

If you’re in control, he’s moaning and gasping, and his voice is so fucking pretty

A little scratchy from his smoking habit, if I’m honest, but it’s still a very nice voice

Especially if he’s the one in charge

And if he is in charge, he’s groaning, and hear me out—he laughs at you.

Not meanly! (kinda meanly) just, yanno

Some slight degradation

“Hah, does it really feel that good? I haven’t even done all that much to you yet and you’re already like this?” 

Hnnnghghffsebastianjustonechanceplease

Probably a little insecure about his voice, but if he knows you like it, that’s all the information he needs

He just wants to make you feel good, so if there’s something he can do to make it feel better, he’s going to do it

That said, he mirrors you quite a bit

So if you’re loud, he’s gonna be loud (what do you expect from him, really? It’s not his fault you sound so good), and if you’re quiet, he’s gonna be quiet, too

He’ll never be completely silent, just because he doesn’t have that kind of self-control, but he’s definitely quiet

It also depends on how heavy you’re going

So if it’s rough, his voice will also probably reflect that: lots of groaning, heavy breathing, some curses here and there.

Soft sex will be quieter, but he’ll also be a little sweeter. There’ll be more praise, probably some “I love you’s” sprinkled in there, and he’ll try to muffle his higher noises into your lips or any other skin he can reach

Overall, I think sex with him will go one way or the other

Sub or dom? Whines or groans? Flip a coin and lemme know how it goes lol

Alex 

He’s the kind of person who won’t make a lot of noise

he’s panting and breathing heavily, and that’s probably it

But he talks quite a bit

And we all know that deep down this boy is a hopeless romantic(hello, ten-heart event!), so his dirty talk def reflects that

Get ready for PRAISE. SO much praise

“You feel so fucking good, baby,” “I’ve been waiting for this all day,” “you’re doing good for me, just like that,” etc.

If he’s really into it, especially when he’s close to cumming, he’ll stutter a lot or just give up halfway through his sentences lmao

Don’t misunderstand, it’s not that he refuses to make noise because he thinks it’s weird

He just prefers the way you sound, yanno? So he’d rather keep it down to hear you better

But if you let him know that you want to hear him more, he’d make an effort to let some sounds loose

But he wouldn’t fake them, and he’s not gonna suddenly start blowing out your eardrums

The first time he properly groans, he feels the effect it has on you

It could be the most pathetic, shaky, and quiet sound ever, but your reaction is immediate

Goosebumps over your arms, subtle trembling/shivering, bro, if you grab him a little bit tighter???? 

and now that he can see with absolute certainty that you enjoy his voice?

His confidence will sky-rocket, and you’ll get wayyyy more noise out of him from then on

He will take the opportunity to tease you about it after you’re done though

“Damn, you like my voice that much, huh?”

I am also a firm believer that he prefers positions with a lot of proximity and skin contact, so lots of missionary, back-to-chest, etc. (he also likes positions where he can show off his strength and stamina, but that’s neither here nor there)

He loves anything where he can press in close and have as many points of contact as possible

Which makes it way easier to dive low and spit romantic filth into your ear, you with me?

Lives for the reactions he can drag out of you with just his voice

It might be his favorite part about sex with you if I’m being realistic

It's nice to see tangible proof that you’re enjoying yourself because of what he’s doing, obviously, but the fact that he can have you reduced to such a mess with just his voice?

This man is absolutely gone on you, I swear

Elliott

Lordt have mercy

I think in terms of volume, he’d be pretty average.

Like he’s not going to drown you out, but he’s definitely not quiet

Having said that

Moans, praise, and sappy declarations of love are his modus operandi

Elliott is a poetic soul: he’s got a way with words, and a romantic heart

Intimacy is important to him, and the more connected you are, the sweeter he sounds

He doesn’t curse nearly as much as any of the bachelors, either

While the rest of them spit filth at you with a good helping of swearing tossed into the mix, he’s a little more classy and eloquent with how he goes about it

“You sound heavenly, my love,” “how was I so fortunate as to meet you,” “so good to me, my precious flower”

what a cheese lol elliott pls i’m begging i would give you everything

One hundred percent convinced y’all are soulmates

And it’s kind of obvious during sex

He hates not being able to see your face while you’re in bed together

Wants to be able to kiss you while he’s making love to you, and will absolutely moan into your mouth while doing so end me

But he’ll be at his loudest when you’re indulging his desire for intimacy

Hold his hand during sex. I dare you.

Cup his cheeks? Tell him you love him while he’s mid-thrust?

Lol if you’re at his cabin on the beach, you better hope Willy took his boat out for some ocean fishing because otherwise, he’ll definitely hear

But enough about volume

Elliott’s voice is smooth like butter, and fairly deep

listening to him fall apart feels like pouring warm honey down your spine

He sounds so good, and he’s not shy about it

Will only beg if he wants you both to come at the same time—otherwise everything is pretty neutral—no dom/sub dynamics, he just wants to make love to you

I wouldn’t say he’s vanilla by any means, but that’s a story for another time

Shane

If he’s in a Mood™, this man is nasty.

Point-blank, no bullshit.

He doesn’t moan, or whine, or whimper—you’d have to overstimulate the shit out of him to get a reaction like that, but unless you’re willing to deal with the consequences, I don’t personally recommend doing that lol yes I do

But for the sake of the ask, let’s say you don’t

Grunts and groans—that’s all you’re getting as far as sounds go

But not to worry, because dirty talk is his specialty

Will praise you while degrading you

“Look at you, drooling and drunk all for my cock,” “Wish you could see how pretty you are, baby”

Hnngf anyway

He’s at his loudest when you agree with him

Sound confusing? Here, have some examples.

“I’m the only one who can fuck you like this, aren’t I?” “no one could make you feel the way I do”

Say yes to anything like that? ^^^

And this man is yours.

He’ll get SO loud, and he’ll dive head-first into dirty talk like his life depends on it

Oh, you thought he was filthy before?

Lmao anyway yeah he’s possessive and likes it when you indulge him

But if he isn’t in a Mood™, and you catch him during a good moment, he veers a little more toward Elliott’s territory

Like definitely still possessive, but less vulgar about it, and not as cheesy

This guy has low self-esteem, and a lot of his insecurities stem from not feeling adequate for everyone in his life—including you

So if he’s feeling a little softer around the edges, and you take the moment to remind him that you’re in it for the long haul and have no intention of going anywhere

He’s groaning praise and loving filth in your ears

Definitely has a breeding kink I mean what I didn’t say anything

Anyway yeah lots of “so good to me,” “can’t believe I got this lucky,” “do you have any idea what you do to me?” etc., etc., etc.

Shane sir my husband my favorite chicken man just one chance please I beg

Harvey

A crier

Lol jumping straight into it LESGO

Pathetic little sobs because he’s so overstimulated and it feels just a little too good

Stutters quite a bit—he likes giving up control to you so he doesn’t have to think, but that often means he loses his ability to speak coherently

this man is so stressed all the time and he just wants you to help him shut his brain off

Is a blushing, sobbing mess

Probably hiccupping a little if it gets to be too much

His crying is probably due to a mix of embarrassment and pleasure if I’m being realistic

But I personally hc him as someone who enjoys feeling a little stupid and sex-drunk, especially because of how much you seem to enjoy seeing him get like that

Don’t get me wrong, when it’s casual sex and not in the midst of a scene, this man is just as loving as any, but there’s a certain empty-headedness he gets when he feels too good

Doesn’t really talk much, again, he can’t think straight long enough to string anything together

If he does manage to get anything out, it’ll be a lot of one-word compliments and simple begging—also he slurs his words quite a bit

“Feels s’good, please don’stop” “please, s’pretty,” “like that, right there—hnngmfuck!”

I am dead

Sex is probably one of the only times he’ll cuss actually

Now I don’t imagine him as a goody-two-shoes-pure-boy-do-no-wrong-innocent-mind

Definitely not

But yanno, he’s not swearing up a storm in his day to day, or accessorizing every other sentence with “fuck” and “shit” like a certain someone abby i’m lookin at you babe

But he’ll definitely lose his filter during sex

My brain has collapsed after this jesus christ