I Need A Heeseung - Tumblr Posts

stop this was so cute 🥹 🥹

clementine ☆ heeseung lee

☆ non-idol! heeseung x fem! reader ☆ summary: heeseung was home for the summer. but so were you, the one girl that he's always hated since your playground days. the worst part was that you suddenly got hot, and now he had no idea what to do with himself. unfortunately, an entire year of not seeing each other creates the perfect conditions for one of you (or both of you) to catch feelings! ☆ genre: fluff, college! au, loser!heeseung, boyfailure x girlboss, nerdy heeseung LOL, childhood enemies to lovers, neighbors au!, humor, #patheticmen, suggestive-ish but not rlly ☆ warning(s)? loser!heeseung is SO awkward you might get embarrassed MEOW ☆ word count: 16.1k words ☆ based off the song "clementine" by grentperez. i hope this feels summery and cutesy hehe

Heeseung swore that he was going crazy.

Because why on earth was he actually attracted to you?

You, who used to kick over his sandcastles in the sandbox. You, who always hogged the slides at the playground. You, who always made a point to get him first in a game of tag. You, who always rolled your eyes at him no matter what he said. You, who made it clear to him and everyone on the face of the earth that you couldn’t stand him.

Heeseung couldn’t believe that he was even thinking about it— Why were you hot?

It's been about two weeks since Heeseung returned home for summer break. He'd finished his first full term at UC San Diego, majoring in communications. He had been living in the dorms the entire year, so it's been quite a while since Heeseung had been home.

Unfortunately for him, it seemed like nothing had changed.

They always said that adulthood and college really changes a person. But Heeseung felt the same as always.

All throughout middle school and highschool, Heeseung's summer days were often spent indoors. Reading books, drawing in his sketchbooks, playing video games, talking to his friends, and sometimes even laying in complete silence and just staring at the ceiling. 

And all these years later, Heeseung was still doing the same this summer. 

It's only the beginning of summer, but Heeseung has done next to nothing. He's seen his old friends maybe once or twice, and really only went outside from time to time to take out trash or help his mom water the plants in the backyard.

Truthfully, nothing about Heeseung has changed. He was still the quiet, introverted guy that liked time alone.

Nothing has changed.... all except one thing.

And it was driving Heeseung nuts.

You.

You were the neighbor girl, and consequently, someone that's shown up in every stage of his life. Your parents quickly became friends, so your families were closely intertwined and spent a considerable amount of time together.

The two of you went to the same high school, middle school, elementary school— heck you even played at the same playground. 

And for some reason, you just loved to torment him. It was never anything serious, but any opportunity you got, you would bother him and just be the most annoying person ever. 

Everyone in his life insisted that you were just the best little angel, but that couldn't be any further from the truth. You were mean and childish and insufferable.

And to make it worse, you always seemed to beat Heeseung at everything. Ever since your elementary school days, you somehow always got a better score than Heeseung, whether it be an assignment on coloring shapes or your AP US History scores. His parents and your parents always reassured him that he was good too, but how was he supposed to feel encouraged when you just beat him at everything?!

And you never failed to let him know it, too. You always had that sly little grin.

You even beat him in getting into his dream university. It's not really your fault technically, because it was your dream university, too. But it's the principle of it!

Heeseung couldn't help but narrow his eyes and clench his fists when he heard his mom talk about how well you're doing at UC Irvine in your prestigious little public health major.

Hate was too strong of a word, but he couldn't say that he liked you at all.

Which was why Heeseung felt his sanity slipping away.

The last thing that he expected when he came back for the summer was for you to get hot. And boy, you were hot.

It was actually infuriating how attractive you got.

Sure, Heeseung's seen you grow up beside him, but in his mind you were always the snotty six year-old that stole his candy. But after an entire year of not seeing you, he couldn't help but gawk at you.

Look, he wasn't actively seeking you out. 

Just, every time that Heeseung was out watering the plants or helping with yard work, you just so happened to peek your head over the garden wall to say hi to his dad. Your face always scrunched up when you caught a glimpse of Heeseung, murmuring a tight-lipped greeting to him too before your head dipped back under the wall.

The first time it happened, Heeseung's jaw nearly dropped. Because since when were you pretty?

The second time that Heeseung saw you was at the local ice cream parlor near the pier. In all the ice cream parlors in Orange County, you just had to go to the same one as him. 

You were wearing a bikini top with denim shorts, sunglasses atop your head. Clearly, you had just been at the beach. You had a group of friends around you (after all, between the two of you, you were the social and popular one), yet Heeseung could only look at you.

There was just something about the way the bikini top hugged your body. Maybe it was the droplets of water running down your chest. Or maybe it was the way you swayed to the faint background music of the parlor, your face looking relaxed and dreamy. Or maybe it was the way he felt so goddamn small next to you, despite having screamed and yelled and fought with you so many times in his childhood.

Since then, it felt like you just popped up everywhere. On days that Heeseung's brother or cousins forced him out of the house, you somehow managed to be where he was. And every single time, he'd just stand there and ogle at you. Even when his brother or cousins would say hi to you and strike up a conversation, Heeseung was always rendered speechless, too busy looking at the way your lips moved to truly register anything.

It almost made him angry. How dare you become hot over the past year? How dare you make him feel so stupid?

In every way possible, you were glowing. 

And it was killing Heeseung.

Heeseung let out a sigh as he sunk down onto his bed. 

It was already 8PM, yet the sky outside was still amidst the sunset. His fan was blasting, and so was his house's AC system— he even opened up his windows— yet it was still too hot.

Jamming his earbuds in his ear, Heeseung picked at the hem of his t-shirt, ignoring the way that the hair on the nape of his neck clung to his skin due to sweat.

Heeseung, even throughout college, called his friends a lot. But now that it was summer, all his friends were busy on vacation or having plans, and didn't have a lot of time to call.

Heeseung listened to the ringtone, tapping his fingers impatiently.

Finally, the ringtone stopped.

"Hey, man," a familiar, deep voice rang in Heeseung's ears. "What's up?"

"Jay!" Heeseung cried.

Jay Park was Heeseung's best friend all throughout his life. Although Jay was a year younger than him, that never was a problem in their friendship. Jay had just graduated high school, and he'd be attending UC San Diego with Heeseung next term. 

Out of everyone at home, Jay was the one person that Heeseung spoke to the most. 

He told him everything, and if he didn't, Jay always managed to get it out of him one way or another.

"What's on your mind?" Jay huffed. He always sounded exasperated, but he meant well. The moment that he graduated, Jay went back to his hometown in Seattle to meet with family. Luckily, Heeseung caught him before he left to congratulate him. Otherwise, Jay's been busy, so Heeseung appreciated him taking the time to talk to him.

Unfortunately, Jay knew Heeseung too well. Of course there was something on his mind— You. But Heeseung would rather die than admit it, even to his closest, most trusted friend. Not only was it embarrassing, but Jay's heard and witnessed it all. Heeseung would never live it down if Jay found out.

"Nothing!" Heeseung said in a sing-songy voice. "I just miss my best friend soooooo much."

Jay was fun to tease.

"Yeah, yeah." Heeseung could practically hear Jay roll his eyes, scowl, and scrunch his nose over the phone, something he did whenever he was embarrassed. "Well, I had a feeling that there was something on your mind. You never spam me with emojis unless you have something serious to talk about."

Heeseung scoffed playfully. Jay really did know him too well. 

"Nope!" Heeseung said, popping the p. 

"Right," Jay responded, and the older could tell that he was suspicious. 

A few moments of comfortable silence fell over the two of them. Sometimes, they didn't know what to say to each other, but being in each other's presence was enough.

"Oh!" Jay suddenly exclaimed, "I just remembered something that I wanted to tell you!"

Heeseung hummed in response. It was probably some crazy gossip about a teacher from their old high school getting arrested.

"But, you need to promise me that you won't tell anyone," the younger boy said, his voice eager and impatient. "Like, you can't tell anyone."

Heeseung hummed again. "Yeah."

"No, like, promise me," Heeseung could hear the fervor in his friend's voice, almost as if he's been holding this information back and was just itching to tell someone. 

"Is it that bad?" Heeseung chuckled. "You're scaring me, man."

"Promise me," Jay repeated.

"Fine," Heeseung huffed, crossing his arms. "I promise I will not tell anyone. Not a single soul."

"Okay, okay," Jay took a deep breath over the phone. Just by the sound of it, Heeseung could tell that he was about to burst if he didn't tell someone now. "So, a few weeks ago— I don't know how it slipped my mind, I was going to tell you the moment I found out— I was in Macro, and do you remember that one girl Natty, or something? The one with the bangs, like, the one that dances, and—"

"On with it!" Heeseung interrupted impatiently.

"Okay, well, Natty asked me if my friend Heedeung Lee was dating anyone, and I was like 'Who is Heedeung Lee?' so I just looked at her like she was crazy and so she never spoke to me about it again until—"

"Hurry up!" Heeseung groaned. Jay talked a lot. "Get to the point, please!"

"I'm getting there!" Jay yelled over the phone. "Well, basically Natty told me that her friend told her that [Name] [Last Name] used to have a massive crush on you."

.

.

.

"Huh?"

You, [Name] [Last Name], had a crush on him? 

On Heeseung Lee?

"I know!" Jay laughed over the phone. "That's crazy, isn't it?"

"Wait, wait, wait," Heeseung's lips moved faster than he could think. He could feel his ears burning, and they stung like hell. "Who told her?"

Jay paused to think. "Natty said that Ryujin Shin told her."

Ryujin Shin was your good friend. She wouldn't lie about something like this. Jay's source was definitely trustworthy.

Heeseung's heart was now pounding in his chest. His palms felt clammy. 

He simply couldn't process it. You? Liked him? It just didn't make sense. And after all the thoughts that he's been having about you, it didn't feel right. Something must be mistaken, right?

"When?" Heeseung blurted, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip. "When did she like me?"

"Hmmm," Jay hummed. 

Surely, you liked him in elementary school, right? There was absolutely no way that you liked him any time recently. That's impossible!

"I think she liked you..." Jay trailed off, thinking, "I think she liked you all throughout highschool."

Shit.

"I mean, I think everyone knew. It's not that surprising to me, I'm more surprised that you didn't know all this time. Like, it's so obvious— she was so obvious—"

Heeseung hung up.

"Heeseung?"

Wow, has grass always been that green?

"Heeseung, what are you—"

Heeseung never knew the world could be so beautiful. The sky was so blue and the clouds were so fluffy.

"Hey, Hee—"

What's that bright ball in the sky? Why was it yellow and so warm? Is that what people call the sun—

"Heeseung!"

Heeseung was pulled out of his daze as his older brother shook his shoulders.

It's only been a few days since Jay told the news on Heeseung, but it felt like weeks. Since then, Heeseung has gone outside more times than he ever had. He'd sit in the front yard and feel the grass under his fingertips, reconnecting with nature after such a bomb was dropped on him. Other days he'd dip his toes in his pool, just basking in the sunlight, and sometimes he'd go on walks, taking time to appreciate the world around him.

After all, if Heeseung stayed all cooped up in his room, he didn't know what he would do with himself.

Truthfully, nothing has ever impacted Heeseung as much as the fact that you liked him. Genuinely, Heeseung has never felt more confused, distraught, distressed, and downright afraid in his life.

Because... How could he?

Heeseung wouldn't be completely truthful if he said he didn't think you were attractive before this summer. How could he not? There was a reason that you were popular at school. You've always been cute. It was just your personality that made Heeseung hesitant to admit it.

But to think that you— the you that always went out of your way to get on his nerves in every capacity— had a crush on him? Absolutely insane.

And the craziest part was that your crush was obvious to everyone but him. Heeseung made a point to ask all of his old friends as discreetly as possible. Same answer every time:

"Yeah man, she was soooo in love with you."

You? Obvious? With your crush on him? Absolutely not!

This was not something that Heeseung would have expected in a million years!

And the nail in the coffin was when he asked Ryujin Shin herself.

"Oh yeah, she used to make me pick out her outfits to impress you," was all Ryujin had to say in order to kill Heeseung.

It just didn't make sense! Heeseung genuinely couldn't believe it. Of all the people in the world, you had a crush on him? It's not like no one's ever had a crush on him, but it's literally you!

Every time Heeseung thought about it he felt light-headed.

Currently, Heeseung was standing under a tree, cooling off from the rising weather. He had agreed to go on a walk at the park with his older brother. After all, after everything, he needed to touch grass. 

"You've been spacy lately, Hee," his brother nudged him. Heeseung was grateful that his brother was also back from university for the summer. "Everything okay?"

"Y-Yeah..." Heeseung murmured in response. 

Wow, the dirt felt nice under his shoes. He could feel mosquitoes biting at his ankles, but the hot weather was making him too exhausted to care. He should go outside more often. Maybe he'd be less distracted. And he wouldn't think about you.

Heeseung's brother smacked the back of the younger boy's head. "You sure?"

Heeseung chewed on his bottom lip. His mind was completely fried, blank. He couldn't think.

"Hellooooo? Earth to Heeseung?"

Radio silence.

Yeah, he was cooked.

It took Heeseung an entire week to even be able to think of your name without wanting to pass out.

He didn't completely come to terms with it, but he was at a point that he'd gone over the thought too many times for it to sting anymore. Still, Heeseung couldn't stop thinking about you.

All this time you liked him and he didn't notice. Probably because you tormented him the entire time. Not quite flirting, in his opinion.

What made matters worse, though, was the fact that Heeseung would see you from time to time. It was hard.

On one hand, you were an absolute treat to look at. 

Like, wow.

Anytime he caught a glimpse of you, whether over the fence or through the kitchen window, Heeseung could physically feel his eyes get blessed.

You really were one of the most beautiful people Heeseung had ever had the privilege to lay his eyes on. He choked on his spit every time he saw you, it was insane.

On the other hand...

Ohmygodyouhadacrushonhim.

Seeing you was terrifying.

You were the one person that's always been his sworn rivalry... and this entire time you probably never saw him like that.

It was absolutely horrifying to think about!

Heeseung's cheeks felt warm at the thought. In fact, his entire body felt hot. He wasn't even sweating but his skin begged for a bucket of iced water to be poured on him. Maybe he should hose himself down later.

Maybe it was just the summer heat.

"You want me to what?!"

No, no, no!

"You heard me, young man," Heeseung's mom crossed her arms. Heeseung watched with eyes wide as saucers from his seat at the kitchen island as his mom organized the pantry. How could she be so casual?!

The world was ending. It's over.

"Nooooo," Heeseung cried, burying his face in his arms. "Mom, I can't!"

"Why not?" Mrs. Lee cocked her brows. "It's not like [Name] has a disease or anything."

Heeseung shook his head profusely. "I know, but—"

"Then what's so difficult about going over and saying hi to her? It's been an entire year since you guys have seen each other!"

Heeseung groaned.

And that's how he was forced to walk over to your house next door and say hi. He didn't know why his mom was so insistent, but it's probably because she was good friends with your mom, or something. Him and your families have always been close, so Heeseung was bound to interact with you this summer.

Heeseung dragged his feet as he walked over to your house. He really didn't want to see you.

At first, he thought you hated him, but now apparently you've liked him all this time? And he's also sexually frustrated so now Heeseung was just confused.

And lo and behold, the moment that your house came into view, there you were. 

You were in a swimsuit, sunbathing on your front lawn. You wore your chunky sunglasses that fit you too well, your pretty lips sipping on a fancy glass of coconut water.

Heeseung had to force himself to not gawk.

Goddamn, was all he could think, because goddamn were you fine.

The way the sun shone down on your skin made it hard for him to look away. You were completely relaxed, alone in your own world, yet you managed to still be glowing. Heeseung's mouth felt dry, his heart rate speeding up at the sight of you sprawled out on the lawn like that.

Heeseung's feet took him further than his mind could, too busy gaping at you. He stopped at the front of your house, just enough for you to notice him.

"Oi!" you yelled from your lawn, perching yourself up on your elbows in a way that made you even more attractive. "The fuck do you want, Lee?!"

Heeseung had to shake out of his daze. 

"H-Hey," he stuttered out, an awkward hand coming up to wave at you. Heeseung winced in his head, feeling embarrassment wash over him as you took off you looked over your sunglasses, shooting him a questioning look. 

He'd never been like this with you. Ever. The only memories that Heeseung had with you were just the two of you bickering. Never any shyness or awkwardness. So why was he so nervous now?

"Ummmm," you said. Heeseung recognized that tone: it was the tone that you used when you wanted to obnoxiously pretend to be confused to embarrass him. Usually, it would just annoy him, but this time Heeseung was actually embarrassed. "Hi?"

Heeseung could feel your judgy gaze under your sunglasses. You were definitely staring him down. Whether with love or with hate, he didn't know. But it scared the fuck out of him.

"Well, I'mgonnagonowbye!" Heeseung spouted before running off.

(Heeseung could tell that you were watching him as he struggled to get his front door open. In fact, he had to knock multiple times and yell for someone to let him in, because he was actually locked out. And the moment that he was let in, Heeseung ran up to his room, and slammed the door. Never again.)

Although you thought it would be 10x funnier if you didn't, you did in fact think Heeseung Lee was cute. Of course you did. Especially after a year of not seeing him, you couldn’t deny that he’d really grown into a man. He definitely got taller, and his voice sounded deeper too. The way the muscles on his biceps and forearms flexed when he did yard work gave you more of a reason to peek over the garden wall to say hi.

You thought your dumb little childhood crush on Heeseung had subsided by now. You felt a little bad for a while, for always being mean to him— but you just like him so much! 

When you went away for school, you were sure you’d forget all about it. After all, you had a feeling that your feelings for him were out of convenience: he was just a guy that you were close in proximity to. Plus, it was so obvious, too. He definitely knew all throughout high school and middle school how much you liked him. It would hurt your pride to go back to him.

But now that he’s back (and so are you!) you’re having second thoughts.

Sure, he was cute. 

Would you kiss him? Sure. 

Would you date him? The answer to that would be kept a secret. 

For now, you were just going to have fun with it. Whatever happened was not up to you anyway. 

Though, you’d be lying if you said that you never tried to impress him, especially now.

You told yourself it was in a condescending way. 

In a "look how hot I am" way. 

In an untouchable way.

Because you knew that he’d be looking anyway. He always did, even if he didn’t mean to.

And you knew for sure now, as you put on your fitted bikini top that he’d definitely be looking.

Lucky you, your siblings and cousins were close to Heeseung’s brother and cousins. When you were younger, everyone would gather in Heeseung’s backyard for a pool party. 

And now that it was summer, it was no surprise that there was a pool party at the Lee house today.

So here you were, in Heeseung’s backyard, dipping your toes in his pool. 

The Southern California weather was not doing anyone justice. The blue sky was clear, with no cloud in sight. The sun was high in the sky, beating down on anyone who dared to be in its presence. 

The air smelled of Mrs. Lee's lemon tree, sunscreen, chlorine water, and barbecue. Loud music boomed throughout the Lees' backyard, coupled with shouting, laughing, and the sizzle of the grill.

Everyone was here— Heeseung’s brother, his cousins, and all of your siblings and cousins— except the boy himself. 

He’s probably inside cooped up in his room, you thought with an eye roll. He always was. Whenever there was a pool party like this, he always came down the latest, after getting an earful from his mom about being a party pooper. 

You’d always hoped that he’d come down. After all, he was the only one your age, and you wanted to show off how cute you looked. 

That’s something that never changed. 

You pushed up your sunglasses, watching as the boys that you grew up with tackled each other in the water and screamed bloody murder. You couldn’t help but chuckle.

At pool parties like this, you usually found yourself sitting near the shallow side of the pool, dipping your feet in and just enjoying everyone's presence. 

Frankly, you weren't a fan of the water.

You were too busy splashing your cousins with water and laughing at how stupid they looked with their hair all wet and swooped around to notice the sound of a very familiar boy being dragged downstairs.

"Dude— Let go— Ack!" Heeseung's voice boomed all the way from behind the screen door. "Let go— Ow!"

You turned over your shoulder to see Heeseung himself standing at the entrance to the backyard, pouting like a child with his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing swim trunks, but wore an oversized t-shirt over it.

Still, he looked as good as ever.

His tan skin, disheveled hair, and overall awkward and loserish look— you loved it too much.

You watched curiously as he stood there awkwardly while everyone else played in the water. 

You sighed. Some things never change.

You pulled your feet out of the pool, before walking with wet feet over to the cooler next to the grill to grab two Caprisuns. Then, you trudged over to where Heeseung was standing.

"Look who decided to finally go outside," you said with a deadpan tone. Usually, Heeseung would glare at you, maybe scoff and look away. But this time, his eyes just shakily shifted to your face. Weird.

You could see his eyes widen a fraction, before they traveled down to your bikini top. You had to hold back a smug grin— Good, he was looking.

You shoved one of the Caprisuns into his hand, while stabbing your own with the straw. 

He still stared at you, as if you were some kind of unicorn.

"Why do you keep staring?" you asked bluntly, quirking your brow at him. It was weird. Where was the annoyed Heeseung that fought back whenever you bothered him?

The boy tensed up, his eyes widening into saucers before he turned away from you altogether. 

Was he... sick?

You looked at him questioningly. Heeseung stood completely still, his back turned to you, gripping onto his Caprisun for dear life.

You sighed. You nudged him with your elbow. 

"I thought a school like UCSD would make you at least a little bit cooler," you began your way back to the pool, but stopped. You looked over your shoulder at him. "Still a loser."

And with that, you left him standing there.

Heeseung swore that he's not a loser.

Well, maybe he was just a little bit of a loser, but not that much. You called him a loser all the time, and it never really got to him. After all, you were cooler than anyone Heeseung knew, so your standard of coolness was off the charts.

Though, it did bother him a little bit this time. And for the life of him, Heeseung couldn't figure out why.

Eventually, he trudged over to the pool and dipped his feet in beside you. Though, he made sure to keep a big distance between the two of you. 

Heeseung didn't know what he would do if he was any closer to you. And plus, you'd probably start screaming anyway.

In fourth grade, he pushed you into the pool as a joke, without knowing that you didn't know how to swim. Since then, you made it a point to scream whenever Heeseung was near you at the pool, always claiming that he'd pose a danger to you, or something like that.

The music was nice, and so was the feeling of the sun on his skin. Heeseung just felt a little bit out of place, but he wasn't unhappy to be there.

Heeseung was lost in thought, a habit that he's had since he was younger— so lost that he didn't hear the splashing of the pool, so lost didn't hear his brother ask you why you weren't swimming, so lost that he didn't hear his cousins threaten to push you in if you didn't get in yourself.

But the moment that Heeseung heard your shrill scream, he was up on his feet.

In a few quick seconds, Heeseung's brother had hauled you up over his shoulder, ignoring the way that you wriggled in his touch, and threw you into the pool. 

It all happened so quickly before Heeseung's eyes, yet it felt like time slowed down.

As the water splashed in what felt like slow-motion, Heeseung watched as your eyes widened into large saucers, a loud shriek ripping from your throat. His breath hitched. Other than those sounds, he couldn't hear anything else: not everyone laughing, not the music, not the grilling, just you and him and the water.

Heeseung's lips moved faster than him.

"You idiot!" he shouted, and although his entire body felt like it was frozen in time, he was already halfway through throwing his t-shirt off. Heeseung tuned out the sound of more laughter. He could feel his blood boil. "She can't swim!"

With no hesitation, Heeseung dove into the pool, ignoring the cold sensation that sent goosebumps down his spine as the water engulfed him. 

There were some things that cannot be forgotten, and something that Heeseung knew he'd never forget was the way you wrapped your arms around him the moment that you felt his presence. Your once tense body relaxed immediately. You clung onto him, your eyes squeezed shut as stray tears spilled out. He could hear the raggedness of your breath, and just by your face, Heeseung couldn't even imagine the panic and fear that you'd felt. 

"Heeseung," you whimpered, grasping the boy as if you would die. You sniffled, pressing your face into his neck as your arms tightened around his torso. "Hee—"

Heeseung could feel chlorine water droplets slipping into his eyes, burning them. Yet, he didn't remove his hands from around you, not even once. As he stabilized the two of you in the water, he squeezed your shoulders comfortingly.

"You're safe," he said against your ear, "I got you."

The last thing you expected to happen was to be sitting on Heeseung Lee's bed.

He still had his shelf full of comic books and figurines. Except, the last time you really took a look at the shelf was when you were 13, and now six years later it was completely filled to the brim. The walls were still covered in superhero posters. In the corner of his room, there used to be a tiny little ukelele from when he was just learning how to play, but now it was replaced with a guitar.

You shivered, pulling your knees to your chest as you sniffled, holding the towel draped over your shoulders tightly. Your skin felt cold to the touch, but on the inside, you felt like you were burning up. Hot tears lined your eyes, threatening to stream out.

After that fiasco, Heeseung took you upstairs to his room. He left you a few moments ago to find you clean clothes.

You were angry. Why did they throw you in the pool? You thought it was common knowledge that you couldn't swim. You grew up with these people! How did Heeseung Lee remember and not anyone else? How annoying.

"Uh," Heeseung cracked his bedroom door open, poking his head in. You cocked a brow at him, especially when you noticed that he came back empty handed. "Just— Give me a second."

You watched as he went to his own drawers, taking out his own clothes.

"I— There's no girls living in his house," he said sheepishly as he handed you his clothes, unable to hide his red ears. "I couldn't find you— uh— girl clothes, so just— just take mine."

You just frowned.

Although you didn't do any swimming yourself, being thrown into a pool and drowning for a few moments was physically taxing enough. You didn't feel like moving right now, even if it was something as easy as changing clothes. You just put the clothes beside you on the bed, muttering a quiet thanks before pulling your knees even closer to your chest.

Heeseung stared at you. It was uncharacteristic to see you so... small. Someone so bothersome and mean to him, yet here you were curled up like you didn't want to be seen.

Heeseung would never admit it, but he felt bad for you at that moment.

Heeseung sighed.

He took a few more steps forward, standing in front of the bed.

"Scoot over," he said, motioning with his hands.

You looked up at him through your eyelashes. Your lips jutted out for a few seconds into a pout, but you huffed and nodded. Heeseung plopped down beside you, letting out another sigh. 

The two of you sat in silence like that for a few moments, both staring at the floor. In the distance you could still hear water splashing and music from the backyard.

"Thanks, by the way" you murmured, breaking the silence. You kept your eyes down.

"Huh?" Heeseung whipped his head over to you.

"I said thanks," you repeated yourself, this time louder and with annoyance. "You loser."

"Oh." Heeseung blinked. "Sorry."

It was silent again, before you clicked your tongue. You nudge Heeseung with your foot. 

"Why are you apologizing?" you sounded irritated, but Heeseung knew that that was just your natural tone when you weren't trying to be nice all the time. 

"I dunno," the boy shrugged. "I guess for being a loser."

You sighed loudly, your brows furrowing as you nudged him again. 

"You're taking me too seriously," you rubbed your temples. "I mean, you are a loser, but I don't really give a fuck if you are."

Heeseung blinked. "Huh?"

You groaned. "You're so dense. My point is, you have nothing to apologize for, including for being thick in the head and a loser."

.

.

.

"As a matter of fact," you grumbled. "I'm grateful for you. I'd be six feet under if it wasn't for you."

.

.

.

You finally turned to look at Heeseung. Your hand came up to flick his forehead.

"Ow!" Heeseung cried, his hand shooting up for his head. "What was that for— Ack!"

You grabbed a pillow and smacked him square in the head.

"What the hell?!" Heeseung yelled. He reached across you to grab one of his pillows, launching it at you, hitting you in the face.

But instead of fighting back like Heeseung expected, you threw your head back, falling back onto the bed. You were laughing.

"What are you—" Heeseung scrunched his face, before he grabbed another pillow and smacked you again. "What are you laughing at?"

You didn't respond, only continuing to laugh. Heeseung watched as you clutched your stomach, your eyes squeezing together as your lips parted, airy giggles pouring out.

His ears burned. Did he say something funny?

Had Heeseung ever seen you laugh so... light-heartedly? It seemed like the only times you'd laugh was when you were making fun of him. But here you were, laughing like he'd just said the funniest thing.

"Sorry," you said when you finally calmed down. You relaxed into his pillows, letting out a soft ah. You wiped your eyes, which had tears coming out from how hard you laughed. "It's just..." you glanced at him, "You were scaring me."

"Why?" Heeseung's brows furrowed. 

"You were, like, being so awkward," you said coolly. "I mean, you're always awkward, but you were being awkward in a weird, shy way. You weren't fighting back like you usually did."

You flashed him a cheeky grin. "But you seem to be back to normal now."

Heeseung stared at your face. 

Well, even if you were super hot now, and even if you had a crush on him, nothing would change the fact that the two of you were (no matter how much you didn't want to admit it) childhood friends. Heeseung wouldn't want anything to come between that. Even his own awkwardness. There was no use being weird about anything.

Maybe this summer was for the two of you to finally connect, rather than push each other away.

"Ew," you kicked Heeseung, "Stop staring, you freak."

Heeseung rolled his eyes with a chuckle. "Go change."

Truthfully, it was impossible to be awkward like this around you. Heeseung was awkward with everyone, including his own mother sometimes, but not you.

(By the end of the pool party, you and Heeseung had spent most of the time up in his room, which wasn't uncommon throughout your childhood. Though, the difference now was that you and him weren't arguing.)

Normally, on summer mornings, Heeseung slept until noon. But his slumber this morning was rudely interrupted by the sound of someone banging on his door.

"What the fuck?" Heeseung cursed under his breath as he trudged downstairs, still shirtless and groggy in his Minecraft pajama pants. He'd curse at his brother for not answering the door, but Heeseung remembered that everyone else in his family had a life that didn't include being home all day, unlike him. 

Heeseung hastily opened the front door, ready to yell at whoever was disrupting him at this time. It was probably one of those solicitors trying to sell him something, or some kid that accidentally threw a ball into his yard.

But when he opened the door...

"Hi, loser."

Heeseung slammed the door.

What the hell were you doing at his house at this time?! Granted, it was almost 11AM, but still!

"What the fuck?!" you began banging again, "Open up!"

"No!" Heeseung yelled from the other side of the door. "What are you doing here?!"

"Well, open up and I'll tell you!"

After this back and forth for a few minutes, Heeseung finally agreed on letting you in.

"Rude," you muttered, crossing your arms. "Didn't your mother teach you to not slam the door on people's faces?"

Heeseung grabbed the door, beginning to close it again. You jammed your foot inside. "Not so fast, little boy."

Heeseung rolled his eyes. "Explain."

You huffed. "I'm bored. Can we hang out?"

.

.

.

"What? Why?"

You pushed past the boy, stepping inside his house and making your way to the kitchen.

"I already said," you said coolly. "I'm bored."

Heeseung trailed after you. "It's too early!"

You shrugged, making a bee-line for the fridge, looking through it. Heeseung sighed. There was no reckoning with you. He took a seat at the kitchen island, letting out an annoyed groan.

You looked over your shoulder, quirking your brow at him. 

"Nice pajamas, by the way."

It was now that Heeseung realized that he was half naked with messy hair and his embarrassing Minecraft PJ pants.

His ears burned.

"I thought you were done with Minecraft," Heeseung could hear the teasing tone in your voice as a sly grin spread across your lips. "I guess some things just never change."

"Shut— Shut up!" And he scurried upstairs to freshen up and change. You chuckled.

Apparently, your definition of "hanging out" was gossiping in your car while devouring frozen yogurt.

"Why are you so surprised?" you asked, while indiscreetly stealing a strawberry from Heeseung's frozen yogurt.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "I just thought you'd have more extravagant plans for what a 'hang out' is."

You scoffed. "Like what?"

"I don't know!" Heeseung shook his head. "Maybe, like, going to the beach? Or going to the movies? What do cool people do these days?"

"Why would you think that?" you almost looked offended. 

"You were popular in high school, weren't you?" Heeseung reasoned. "I assumed that your hangouts were cool because everyone wanted to be there."

You scowled. "Okay, well, getting frozen yogurt is cool. I don't know what you're talking about." Heeseung shrugged again. "And plus, I chose this activity because I knew you wouldn't like the beach or movies."

Heeseung blinked. Did you really do that for him?

"Why are you looking at me like I killed someone?" you rolled your eyes. "Why would I hang out with you and only do stuff that I'd enjoy? It's not fun when the other person isn't having fun, you know."

"I—I know," Heeseung stammered. The corner of his lips lifted a little bit. "I just can't believe you have feelings."

An offended sound came out of your lips. You slapped his shoulder, once, twice, three times, ignoring his yelps.

"I'm sorryyyyy!" Heeseung cried, squirming away from you. "Ack! What is your problem, dude— Ow! I said I'm sorry!"

"Take that back, you freak!"

"I did...!"

Heeseung never thought that he'd wake up on some mornings and see you in his kitchen, scouring his pantry and fridge for food. 

At first, Heeseung found himself panicking every time he inevitably trekked downstairs, all groggy and shirtless, at noon and you were there munching on cereal.

"Why— What are you—" Heeseung would stare at you horrified, immediately feeling shy because he was shirtless. How could you be so... so casual?! "How did you even get in?!"

You'd just shrug nonchalantly, ignoring Heeseung's spluttering. 

"I asked your mom for an extra key," you had pulled out of your pocket. "See?"

And ever since then, it wasn't common for Heeseung to hear the front door cracking open, followed by the sound of rustling in the kitchen and living room.

Initially, Heeseung made a point to freshen up before clambering down to give you an earful for turning the TV's volume too high. He made sure to throw on a shirt, maybe brush his hair and teeth and wash his face. 

But the moment that Heeseung no longer relied on his biological clock and his alarm clock to wake him up because the ruckus that you'd make in his kitchen was loud enough to shake him out of his slumber, he realized that there was really no escaping you.

"Turn it down, will you?!" Heeseung would shout from upstairs, barely awake. You'd groan, but you'd comply. After all, it was his house that you were raiding.

It was weird. Heeseung never thought that he'd become comfortable with you like this, and in such a short amount of time. There was a level of friendship between the two of you no matter what. You'd grown up together, that was undeniable.

But Heeseung had always expected you and him to actually become friends through other means. He'd always thought that something bigger, more dramatic, would happen, something that would force the two of you to finally get along.

But all it took was for you to be bored one day and go to his house.

Had he been misinterpreting everything? All this time, Heeseung always thought that there was a wall around you, something that he couldn't break down. Yet here he was now, minding his own business while you ate at his kitchen island.

It made him think, was it college and summertime that made the two of you like this? Or has it always been like this, and he never noticed it?

It made him think back to his childhood.

He had so many distinct memories of you.

You pushing him down the slide, you calling him stupid, you pulling his hair when you were bored.

But there were also other memories, ones that Heeseung had to think hard about, ones that made him question whether or not his memory was playing tricks on him.

He could remember you following him upstairs after one of your families' dinners when you guys were six years-old. 

If there was something six year-old Heeseung and you could agree on, it was that the adults' conversations at dinner were too boring and convoluted to follow. 

Heeseung faintly remembered the way you paused briefly in front of the shelf in the corner of his room. It was the shelf that he displayed his comic books and superhero figurines on, a collection that he'd spent all of his allowance money on. 

Heeseung had ignored you as you messed around with his stuffed animals, opting to read his comic books in silence. You had crawled up beside him, your squeaky voice pulling Heeseung's head out of the pages.

"What's that?" you had asked him.

Heeseung's teeth sunk into his bottom lip. He remembered what happened after you asked that clearly.

"A comic book," young Heeseung had said annoyedly, shooting you a glare. "Duh."

Heeseung could distinctly remember how he felt at that moment. Embarrassment. His brother, his brother's friends, and Heeseung's own friends liked to tease him for his nerdy interests.

Six year-old you didn't take the hint, only further poking and prying him. Your fingers plucked one of the pages, curiously looking at the screen-toned pages and text bubbles. "What's it about?"

Heeseung had snatched the comic book from you, so hard that the page you were gripping ripped. His memory was fuzzy here, but from what he could recall, Heeseung got angry and yelled at you. He had pushed you, making you bump into his figurine shelf. One of his bigger and sharper figurines managed to knock over, falling and hitting your square in the face.

It was nothing serious, just a scratch, but you were crying by the end of it.

As an adult, Heeseung cringed at the memory.

Poor, awkward six year-old Heeseung, who thought you were making fun of him when really you were just interested.

And after that, you never asked him about his superhero comics again.

As Heeseung now peered at you scrolling through movies to watch, he couldn't help but notice how you hovered over all the superhero movies, before moving past them. He wondered how different things would have been if he didn't yell at you that day. In fact, he wondered how different things would have been if he didn't yell at you at all.

Because now that Heeseung thought about it, all of his memories of you annoying him were really just you wanting to talk to him. When you slapped his shoulder and called him stupid, it wasn't you trying to be mean to him. You were just like that.

Had he taken everything wrong all this time?

First, it started with you eating in his kitchen everyday.

The next thing Heeseung knew, you were forcing him to go outside everyday, one way or another. This must be the most sunlight that Heeseung has ever had in his entire life.

On some days, you wanted to go on walks around the neighborhood.

"Do you remember that house?" you asked him once, pointing to the house at the end of the block. 

Heeseung's lips lifted. "Of course I do. How could I forget?"

You chuckled. "Hell-bound dogs, right?"

Heeseung could remember the day. When you and him were ten years-old, you went trick-or-treating down the neighborhood. The house at the end of the block was new to the neighborhood, so the two of you kids had no clue what your new neighbor was like.

Big mistake. That year, Heeseung was dressed as a demon with a plastic demonic mask, while you were a witch.

The two of you had no idea that your neighbor would be so... afraid... of two children dressed as a demon and as a witch. 

As fast as you rang that doorbell, chanting trick or treat!, the two of you were sent running back home at full speed, with a shouting neighbor threatening to call the police on you "hell-bound dogs." And that's how that neighbor earned the name Ms. Hell-Bound Dogs.

Poor you.

"Do you think she's still alive?" you grinned cheekily, nudging the boy.

"Who?"

"You know..." you drawled your syllables, "Ms. Hell-Bound Dogs."

Heeseung scoffed. "Of course she is!"

"But it's been nine years!" you shrugged. "You don't know what happens in nine years."

"She wasn't that old," Heeseung reasoned. You sent him a look. The both of you collectively recalled that neighbor being a hag. "Okay, maybe we were just young, so everyone looked old to us."

You hummed. "You're right."

As the two of you approached that house, preparing to pass it, you were engulfed with silence. The neighborhood that you grew up in held so many memories. 

You and Heeseung had spent the entire walk pointing to various houses and obscure things in the neighborhood, recalling old stories of memories of the shenanigans that the two of you would have with them. Heeseung couldn't remember the last time he laughed like this. It wasn't the type of laugh that made him fall to his knees and well up tears in his eyes.

It was more like a laugh that felt mixed with a sob. In a weird way. Each laugh that tumbled from his lips felt so foreign, yet so familiar. 

The type of laugh that could only be elicited by an old friend.

And it was then that Heeseung realized that that's what you were to him. An old friend.

"I dare you to knock on Ms. Hell-Bound Dogs," you said suddenly. You loved to do this, even when you were a kid.

"No," Heeseung shook his head, hiding a chuckle. "I am not doing that."

"C'mon," you nudged him again. "It'll be fun."

Heeseung narrowed his eyes.

"And we'll get to know if she's still alive."

Heeseung looked at Ms. Hell-Bound Dogs' door.

He was curious.

And besides, it would be payback for chasing you two out all those years ago.

Heeseung sighed.

"Fine."

It couldn't be that bad, right? Heeseung and you were older now. You wouldn't be afraid of some old lady. Right?

Wrong.

Because the next thing Heeseung knew, you were carrying him princess style, running as fast as you could down the street. The both of you were cursing at the top of your lungs, shrieking for your dear lives. Heeseung's large body awkwardly draped into your arms, his arms clumsily around your neck, but the two of you were too scared shitless to care.

The moment that you reached the comforts of the Lee house, Heeseung and you caught your breath, keeling over.

After a few moments of just breathing, the two of you made eye-contact. 

At first, you just stared at each other, wondering what the fuck just happened.

But then a smile began to spread on your lips, then on Heeseung's lips, and suddenly the two of you were laughing. Laughing so hard that your stomachs hurt.

"She's way scarier than I remember!" you cried, clutching your stomach as you gripped Heeseung's shoulder for stability. 

"I— I know!" Heeseung laughed. He wiped away his tears, shoving his face in his hands. "I can't believe we just did that!"

And the second thing that Heeseung realized that day was that you, too, were a loser. 

"What’s got you smiling at your phone, Hee?" Heeseung’s dad asked him in the car one afternoon. The Lees had a short weekend getaway, and they were now on their way back. It was no denying that Heeseung had been on his phone much more than he usually was.

"Yeah," his brother nodded in agreement. "You've been texting a lot these days."

Heeseung's mother gasped. "You didn't get a girlfriend, did you?"

The whole car erupted, the tires of the Lee car skrrting against the wheels abruptly. His dad and brother whooped, while his mother excitedly squealed.

..... Except Heeseung heard none of this.

Because he had his earphones jammed in his ears, completely absent as he stared at the window.

The offense?

Heeseung was busy blasting your summer playlist.

Look, it wasn't because he liked you or anything. It was just that your summer playlist had all the songs that he liked! Maybe except a few...

The other day when Heeseung found himself in the passenger seat of your car chowing down on fast food, the two of you talked about music. Surprisingly, you had a lot in common in terms of music taste.

You guys ended up riding along the coastal highway late into the night, just sharing songs.

Heeseung remembered how the traffic lights reflected off your face, illuminating your pretty eyes. You chuckled at a few songs that came up.

"You know," you had smiled, but your brows furrowed, "Kai sent me this song when we were dating Sophomore Year."

And when another song came up, you furrowed your brows again. "I think EJ sent me this one when we were dating."

And again. "Oh! When I was dating..."

And for some reason, Heeseung couldn't bring himself to listen to any of the songs that your high school exes sent you. It could've been his favorite song, but for some reason, any association with your past lovers made Heeseung feel sick.

Heeseung couldn't figure out why he was so bothered. There were songs that he swore he could never hate, but it left such a bitter taste in his mouth that another man sent you songs.

Now, Heeseung's nose curled as he glanced at the song now playing.

I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys. Everyone knew this song, so it shouldn't be a surprise that one of your exes sent you this. But still. Heeseung felt uneasy listening to it. He couldn't figure out why. It was such a weird feeling. His heart felt like it was throbbing in his chest, tightening at the thought of it.

By now, Heeseung was certain that Jay's earlier report about you having a crush on him was outdated. It's been a while since Heeseung's thought about it, and while it still made him burn up, he was convinced that even if you did like him, that was the past. There was no use in dwelling on it anymore.

His finger hovered over the skip button for a few moments, taking in the sound of the rough bass. 

Heeseung didn't know why he felt a sense of disappointment. Disappointed that you probably didn't like him like that anymore. 

Skip.

Sooo... you're not very successful at forgetting your mini crush on Heeseung. You swore that you could, especially because you thought you'd grown up.

But now as you watch the way Heeseung's big hands wrapped around the steering wheel, his eyes focused on the road while your collaborative playlist plays on repeat, you're finding it difficult to pull your eyes away from him.

He was just so... loserish. He was so awkward, and clumsy, and embarrassing, yet somehow every time you saw his grimace after he tripped over his feet yet again, it made you feel so warm.

One of your old highschool friends was throwing a party at her beach house, and you were invited. You didn't want to go alone, so you begged Heeseung to go with you. And after some hefty convincing, he finally agreed.

The two of you (mostly you) had spent the entire afternoon getting ready.

You made sure to put on your tiniest dress and tallest heels, glittery makeup across your face and curly lashes lining your eyes. 

As you fixed your lipgloss in Heeseung's rearview mirror, you glanced at him from the corner of your eye.

You had to sit Heeseung down and give him a lesson in fashion. He was really about to go to a party in a hoodie. His entire closet consisted of baggy t-shirts and hoodies, and while they looked damn good on him, he needed proper party attire.

You searched through his entire closet, and lo and behold, you found the compression shirt that Heeseung borrowed from his brother and never returned. 

You couldn't stop looking at the veins on his forearms, or the biceps on his arms that flexed everytime he gripped the steering wheel. You knew Heeseung worked out, but seeing his toned arms in the flesh made your cheeks feel warm.

Under his big doe eyes, pouty lips, and disheveled hair was a man.

It was hard to fully conceptualize sometimes— that you were no longer the squeaky teenage girl head over heels for your nerdy childhood friend. Instead, you were a woman, and so was he.

Heeseung's eyes fluttered over to you, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip as the two of you pulled up to the house.

"I don't think I know anybody here," Heeseung sighed, wringing his fingers nervously. As the two of you got out of his car and approached the door, he groaned, "It's gonna be so awkward."

"Relax," you grinned at him, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. "Just stick beside me the entire time."

He chewed on his bottom lip. He was uneasy. You sighed, linking your fingers with his. His eyes widened into saucers, but you ignored it. You gave his hand a squeeze. 

"You're gonna be fine," you reassured, before dragging him into the party, hand-in-hand.

The moment that you stepped inside the beach house, you could feel Heeseung tense up, squeezing your hand. 

You couldn't blame him, for the bright strobe lights, booming music, and smell of sweat, alcohol, and drugs hit your senses immediately.

"Just follow me," you whispered to him. You shot him another smile. "C'mon. Let's get some drinks."

And despite what everyone liked to think, you were a law-abiding citizen. You were not about to get wasted, and you were under the drinking age anyway. You got yourself orange juice and Heeseung apple juice (something that you knew he'd like because you used to argue about it).

You found it a bit entertaining as you went around the house, saying hi to all of your old classmates and friends, while Heeseung followed you like a lost puppy. You had him hold you by the shoulders, finding it awfully endearing every time he squeezed them.

"I thought you hated her," he whispered into your ear after you just greeted someone, striking up an animated conversation with her. 

"I do," you chuckled. Of course Heeseung would remember. "She's why me and Taehyun broke up."

You heard Heeseung's breath hitch, a gasp in his throat. "Really? That's fucked."

You chuckled again. So cute. "I know."

Every time you encountered someone that Heeseung personally disliked, you could feel him gripping your shoulders. It was cute. 

"Is that Heeseung Lee?!" a squeaky voice suddenly filled you and Heeseung's ears. And the next thing you knew, Heeseung was being crowded around by a group of girls, leading him to be whisked away from you. You couldn't remember any of their names, but you definitely remembered who they were.

When you said that Heeseung was a loser, you meant it in an endearing, mean-but-not-really way. 

These girls were actual bullies in high school, and for a time, they'd bully Heeseung. If it weren't for you scaring them off everytime, Heeseung might be dead.

But there they were, crowding around and cooing at Heeseung, touching his arms and batting their eyelashes at them as if they didn't bully the shit out of him. 

"I didn't know you got so hot, Hee!"

"If I knew you'd be so strong, I would've fucked you in high school."

"What're you doing after this, Heeseung?"

You could sense Heeseung's discomfort. From the way that he recoiled from each touch, to the way his wide eyes occasionally met yours, to the way that his lips curled.

And it made your blood boil.

Not only were these the people that went out of their way to hurt him, here they were acting like Heeseung would forget just because they thought he was hot. Blatantly disrespectful.

Help me, his eyes read. And of course you did.

You marched over to where they were, creeping up behind Heeseung and grabbing his shoulder and yanking him backward away from the hoard. 

"Get behind me," you whispered to him, and Heeseung immediately complied. 

"Hi, guys!" you greeted with a tight-lipped smile. You could feel Heeseung's fingers playing with the lacing at the back of your dress, something he did when he was nervous.

"[Name]!" the girls exclaimed, but you could tell that they were unhappy with your presence. "We were just talking to ourHee."

"Oh!" You faked excitement, flashing them another smile. You narrowed your eyes at them, before reaching behind you to grab Heeseung's wrist. "Well, me and Heeseung were about to leave just now."

"Aww!" one of them whined, yet she still managed to bat her eyelashes at Heeseung, who shifted uncomfortably. 

"C'mon, [Name]!" another crossed her arms. You could tell that her tone was playful, but you knew better. "You got all the hot guys during high school. Let us have this one, won't you?"

You feigned a giggle. 

"No, sorry girl," you said in a chirpy tone. You didn't want to seem hostile. "This one's mine."

The girls blinked at you. "Yours?"

"Mhm!" you smiled again. You squeezed Heeseung's hand in yours, bringing it up to show them your interlocked fingers. "Right, Babe?"

Heeseung stared at you for a few moments, before nodding his head quickly, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip. "O-Of course, baby."

You craned your neck up to gently press a kiss on his neck, ignoring his surprised yelp, before you turned back to the girls. "We'll be leaving now. It was nice seeing you!"

And with that, you pushed through the crowd of people, making a bee-line for the door and taking Heeseung with you.

The walk back to Heeseung’s car was silent. When the two of you got inside, it was still silent. Heeseung didn't start the engine or the music. He just sat there quietly.

"I'm sorry," he finally blurted.

"Huh?" you cocked your head. "What are you sorry about?"

"I feel like I ruined the night," Heeseung murmured, a large frown on his lips.

"What?!" you furrowed your brows, reaching out to touch his arm. "No, no, no! You didn't ruin anything."

He continued to frown. The car shook just from how loud the music was, and you could feel the bass in your chest. 

"And you had to kiss me!" he continued, shoving his face into his hands.

You furrowed your brow. Did he not like it? Was he disgusted with you?

"You shouldn't have!" Heeseung continued rambling on, using his hands. Poor boy sniffled, and it was then that you noticed the way his doe eyes welled with tears. From the way he blinked quickly while turning away from you so that you couldn't see his face told you everything. "Now everyone is going to think that you're dating me!"

You were a little hurt. "Why is that a bad thing?"

"It's a bad thing for you," Heeseung muttered into his palms, sniffling quietly. "I'm a loser, [Name]. And you're not. What if everyone starts seeing you differently?"

Your hand ghosted over his shoulder. "Why should anyone's opinion matter to me?"

"Because!" Heeseung whipped his head over to you. With the sun setting, orange light reflected off his cheeks and red nose, as well as his glassy eyes. 

"Because....." he sighed, before stopping. "What, you don't regret it?"

You crossed your arms. 

"The only reason I'd regret kissing you is if you felt uncomfortable." You met his eyes. "Did I make you uncomfortable?"

Heeseung stared at you for a few times, before he whipped his head away again. But this time, it wasn't out of shame or remorse. You could tell by his shaky voice, pink ears, and rigid body language that he was embarrassed more than anything.

"No..." he mumbled. "The k-kiss... didn't make me uncomfortable. I actually kind of— Never mind."

If you hadn't known him all your life, you wouldn't have been able to tell that Heeseung was flustered. Flustered beyond reason. If you asked him a question about superhero comics, a topic that he knew front and back, he still wouldn't be able to give a coherent answer. That was how flustered he was.

How cute.

"Hmm?" you hummed, the corners of your lips raising. "Complete that thought."

Heeseung groaned something that you couldn't understand, shoving his face back into his palms. You chuckled as you pulled him away from his hands, gently clutching his jaw and forcing him to look at you.

"I wanna know what you were going to say, Heeseung," you rasped, unable to hide the slyness in your voice.

He let out an embarrassed squeak. Even if it weren't for the orange sunlight, you would still be able to tell how red Heeseung got. The warmth emitting from his face was so strong that you could feel it. Poor boy couldn't even look you in the eye.

So cute.

"I-I..."

You hummed. "Go on."

"I was just going to say..." Heeseung squeezes his eyes shut, something he did when he was so embarrassed that he'd explode. "I l-liked the kiss."

.

.

.

You opened your mouth to speak, but he continued to ramble on. "I-I mean I didn't mind it that much. Itwasjustnicewhenitcamefromyouanditmademefeelreallywarmandmushyand—"

"Let's get out of here, Heeseung," you interrupted him with a reassuring smile. "We can go somewhere else."

"L-Like where?"

You grinned.

Where it all began.

"The playground?"

Heeseung gaped as you pulled him out of the car. He let you drive this time, fully expecting to go somewhere like the pier or the end of some road where it was quiet. Not the playground.

"Yessir."

The playground near your neighborhood was nothing special. It had a spiral slide, swings, rock-climbing, telephone, a basketball court, hopscotch, and then some. It looked much smaller than you and Heeseung remembered.

This was where it all started, where you and Heeseung met as young children.

Things have changed since then. The swing set has been remodeled, the sandbox removed, and the railing have been repainted with a different color from your childhood.

"C'mon," you tugged on Heeseung's arm.

Heeseung stared at you. By now the sky was beginning to turn blue and the streetlamps were on. Even so, you still managed to glow. All his life, you glowed. You glowed so bright that you outshined him, so bright that you attracted everyone like a moth to a flame, and he never understood why.

But now he did.

The mischievous glint in your eyes, the grin spread across your face, and the way you called out to him to go play— it was like nothing changed. You were still you, still the cheeky little shithead that you always were. And he loved it. He loved you. Maybe he always had.

Some things really never changed. 

"Heeseung, push meeeeeee!" you shouted from across the playground. As a kid, Heeseung loved to collect rocks. As a grown-up he thought it was ridiculous, but now Heeseung couldn't resist the call of the rocks. 

Meanwhile, you were on the swings.

"You still don't know how to do it yourself?!" Heeseung yelled back. 

"I doooon't!"

Heeseung sighed, shoving the rocks that he collected into his pockets before trudging over to you. Though, not without chuckling to himself.

After running around the playground a little bit and taking a trip down memory lane and whatnot, you followed Heeseung to the basketball courts. In your middle school days, you remembered how Heeseung would ditch you at the swings to go play basketball.

You sat next to the base of the hoop, just far enough to not get hit.

You watched in awe as Heeseung dribbled the ball, passing the orangey ball from palm to palm. He was always good at basketball. You remember pressuring him in highschool to try out for the school team. And when he made it, nothing made you feel giddier than seeing the proud and excited look on his face. That's why you went to all of his games in secret, just to silently cheer him on. Of course, you'd never let him know that.

With each flick of his wrist to shoot the ball, you couldn't hide your amazement as he made every basket.

Every.

Single.

One.

Tall, strong, talented, and a loser.

Gosh, you wanted him so bad.

Him and his nerdy little antics.

On Heeseung's end, he made sure to play his best.

Sure, he was in his childhood basketball court. Sure, he wasn't playing against anyone else. But that was exactly why he had to do his best.

You were watching.

He'd never forget how you ran up to him after seeing him hoop one afternoon, exclaiming, "You need to try out for the basketball team!"

Back then, he thought you were being mean, but your words rang through his head enough that he actually did try out for the team. And he made it.

Now that he was an adult, Heeseung realized that you were anything but mean. If anything, you were encouraging him. 

And now that you were watching him play all these years later, Heeseung had to prove to you that your words were not in vain.

"Woooooow," you drew out your syllables as you watched, silently clapping your hands at each basket. 

Heeseung chuckled, jogging up to where you were. Letting the basketball roll across the court, Heeseung crouched down to your sitting figure, wiped the sweat on his forehead with the back of his palm.

"You're so good at basketball, Heeseung," you said coolly, trying your best to hide the fact that you were 100% gawking at him and his sweaty face.

Heeseung laughed as he caught his breath. The smell of the night air was making him feel so alive, so bold.

"All thanks to you," he breathed as he ran a hand through his sweaty hair. 

"Nah," you waved him off. "You're giving me too much credit. It's all because of your hard work."

Heeseung shook his head, lightly punching your arm. "It's your support that made me so good."

You shook your head. "Not at all."

The boy gave you a look, quirking his brow, almost like he was doubting you. "You think I never noticed you at my games?"

.

.

.

Shit.

"Y-You knew I was at your games?!" 

He knew all this time?!

!!!

Warmth washed over you.

All those times you screamed his name from across the court to cheer his name, all those times you snuck, all those times you jabbed at him for playing too much even though you spent too much time at his games.

Your cheeks felt warm as your hands found refuge on your head, shaking as you squeezed your eyes shut.

"No, no, no!" you cried. "That's so embarrassing!"

Heeseung's deep laugh made you even more embarrassed, especially the way he cooed at you and put a hand on your knee reassuringly.

"Of course I knew you were there," Heeseung said, putting a hand on his chin. "I knew it every single time. I don't think you missed any of my games."

You squeezed your eyes shut even harder, groaning. "Stooooop."

Heeseung laughed again, before clicking his tongue. He got back up and strolled toward the stray basketball.

You didn't know why, but his nonchalance and ease at picking up the ball made your heart pound. He was just so... strong.

Sure, he was a loser most of the time, but on the court, he was a completely different person.

As Heeseung began to dribble again, you had to admit that it was attractive.

With one more bounce, Heeseung snapped his head at you, meeting your eyes. 

"This one's for you."

Your heart drummed in your chest. This was the type of stuff that happened in movies, when the basketball player dedicates a hoop for their loved one. How were you a grown woman and still feeling giddy and nervous over this?

It felt like it happened in slow motion. 

You watched as the ball seemingly floated between his fingertips. The sound of the rubber ball as it collided with the concrete courts filled your ears, coupled by the sound of your heart pounding in your chest. 

Heeseung's tongue swiped over his bottom lip. With a flick of the wrist and a jump, he shot the ball up into the air. 

It stayed up in the air for what felt like an eternity, before it propelled forward.

There it was, its orange skin against the blue night sky.

And as gravity pulled it toward Earth, you held your breath.

Closer and closer, the ball inched toward the red-brimmed hoop.

And just as you held your breath...

The ball...

Missed.

.

.

.

You deadpanned.

Heeseung was going to dedicate a ball to you... and he missed the hoop completely.

That's...

So cute.

You snorted, before you keeled over, some of the hardest laughs of your entire light spilling out of your mouth. This was hysterical. You laughed so hard that your stomach hurt.

Heeseung was such a loser, and it made you feel like a little girl.

Meanwhile, Heeseung stood there, completely red in the face.

"Sh-Shut up!" he grumbled as you laughed. How embarrassing!

When you finally calmed down, you had to hold yourself back from cooing at how cute Heeseung's embarrassed face was. But you just look at him with a grin. 

"Try again."

And he did.

And it felt like suddenly the world was against him.

Just a few minutes ago, Heeseung made every single one of his shots.

And now that it actually mattered, he missed.

Every.

Single.

One.

And to make things worse, you laughed at every one of his missed shots.

"Heeseung Lee," you announced as he gave up, taking a seat beside you. "You are such a loser."

He groaned, pulling his knees to his chest. 

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence, listening to the grasshoppers sing their hearts out. 

Neither of you wanted to move. Because if you did, it would mean one step closer to this night ending. Of course, there was always tomorrow and the rest of the summer to see each other, but to be separated even for a little bit as night passes was too long.

It felt like so much had changed, but at the same time, it felt like everything was exactly as it was left.

Feeling a stroke of boldness, Heeseung guided your head onto his shoulder, before slithering his arm to wrap around your own shoulders.

You guys stayed like that for a little bit.

Heeseung gazed at you. You could be lost in thought or dozing off, he wouldn't be able to tell.

He wanted this to last a little bit longer than forever.

Something was changing and neither of you could tell what it was.

Maybe it was now early July, and the heat was unbearable. Or maybe it was the intense scent of bug repellent that had gotten to your heads. It could be all those frozen yogurts you guys ate in your car, or the amount of shitty superhero movies you binged together.

Whatever it was, it was changing everything.

A single atom was out of place, a molecule of carbon was in the wrong spot. Heeseung couldn’t put his finger on it.

The air felt so warm, but not in a humid, suffocating way. 

More like in a rosy way, like someone put a filter over Heeseung's world and now everything was more vibrant.

Heeseung had reason to suspect that you were the culprit.

He'd known you his whole life, and it was only up until recently that he understood why people loved you so much. Because who wouldn't? You weren't just beautiful, but so goddamn incredible. In every way possible.

Heeseung couldn't explain it. He didn't think he had a crush on you. 

In all the romance books and games and movies that he'd consumed, they portrayed crushes as this magical unicorn of all things. Nervous, awkward, clumsy, and an upward battle.

But when Heeseung thought of you, he didn't feel any of these things. 

He felt at home. Comfortable, as if he could be as much of a nerdy loser as he wanted and he'd still be treated the same way. 

Unlike all what fiction would tell him, you weren't some god to him, nor were you a venerated saint. You were just you, and that was already enough to make his heart race. 

There wasn't that urge to constantly hold your hands or kiss your lips (not that he didn't think about it!).

Rather, there was a need to always be with you, to be let into your world, to listen to every thought that you had, to hear your laugh until he fell asleep.

Maybe Heeseung didn't have a crush on you, but it was certainly something else.

And it was the same for you.

You've had crushes, and you've had boyfriends.

You always felt like you needed to be perfect for them, to be drop-dead gorgeous and put-together all the time, to be the kindest version of yourself.

But when it came to Heeseung, it didn't feel like that. 

You could be as brash and annoying as you wanted, without the fear that he'd shun you. In fact, Heeseung would fight back or laugh.

While with all your boyfriends you wanted intimacy, validation, and constant reassurance, Heeseung felt safe. 

You craved nothing from Heeseung except... Well, Heeseung himself. 

And it was driving you nuts.

Help!

It was another family dinner, with both of your families, this time at your own house.

Heeseung and you sat across from each other. From when you were children until now, the two of you still ignored everything that the adults said, opting to stare and make faces at each other.

Except this time, it was absolutely impossible to look at each other without bursting out laughing. 

You dug your teeth into your bottom lip, holding back a smile as you glued your eyes to your plate. If you dared to look up and even catch sight of Heeseung's hair, you'd probably laugh.

You gripped your fork. Even if you weren't looking at him, you still somehow could hear him. The way he obnoxiously and loudly poked at his food with his fork was something you always jabbed at him for, and it was still noticeable to you now. Except, instead of annoying you, it only made it harder to not laugh.

"[Name]," Ms. Lee's voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You looked up with shaky eyes, and when your eyes passed over Heeseung, you had to bite back a giggle. Alas, you weren't strong enough to hold back a smile.

"Yes?" you responded. From the corner of your eye, you could see Heeseung's nose scrunching. You sent him a quick glare, one that could only last a millisecond.

Don't you dare make a funny face or I'll spill my water all over you, your glare read. But it didn't seem like Heeseung cared.

"What have you been up to all summer?" Ms. Lee smiled. "Any summer programs?"

"No, not this summer," you answered politely. "I've just been—"

Your mother interjected, wiggling her eyebrows. "I've noticed [Name] and Heeseung hanging out a lot this summer."

From under the table you felt Heeseung kick you, but you still didn't dare look at his face. You had to bite inside of your cheek to keep laughter from tumbling out, your eyes wobbling.

"Oh, really?" Ms. Lee looked over at her son. "I didn't know you and [Name] were close, Hee!"

And this was when you unfortunately made eye-contact with Heeseung. Poor boy, his lips wobbled and twitched, trying his hardest to keep it in.

"Y-Yeah," he answered quickly, his voice shaking. That in itself was enough to make you let out a giggle. But before it could be uncontrollable, you clamped your hand over your mouth. You watched as Heeseung did the same, except this time, his face was bright red.

"That's so great!" you moms rejoiced. "We were so afraid that you guys would hate each other forever! You know, when you were kids, you used to..."

You and Heeseung tuned everyone out as they joined in the conversation about your old antics.

Instead, the two of you stared at each other, both completely blank-faced. But a simple look at you and it would be painfully obvious by the way your lips twitched that you were fighting for your life to not burst out with laughter.

And it was when Heeseung was taking a sip of water that you decided to make your attack on him. Just as he was raising his glass to his lips, you quickly made a face at him.

And just as fast as his entire face contorted, a loud laugh fell from his lips. Unfortunately for him, he still had water on his mouth. Poor boy began choking on his water, keeling over himself as he coughed up a storm. 

And while everyone was busy helping him, you were busy laughing your ass off.

You win this one, was the agreement.

"You were 100% playing dirty," Heeseung whined.

You rolled your eyes. "Who gives a fuck?"

After you and Heeseung were excused from the dinner table, the two of you went up to your room.

Currently, the two of you were just lazing around your room. Both of you were on your bed, but Heeseung laid upside-down, with his head hanging off the edge. Although you barely exchanged any words, it wasn't awkward. 

You scrolled through your socials, while Heeseung played his games on his phone. Just the two of you in your own worlds, occasionally breaking the silence to make a jab at each other or to show the other something.

"Oh my god!" you cried suddenly, tossing your phone aside and putting your face in your hands, your fingertips rubbing your temples. "What the fuck?!"

Heeseung, startled, looked at you concerned. "What happened?"

When you groaned into your palms, shaking your head profusely, Heeseung shut off his game, putting his phone away. He sat himself upright, shuffling over to you.

"What happened?" he asked again.

"Bad!" you cried, sinking your head into your pillows. "Horrible! Deplorable! Despicable!"

Heeseung stared at you questioningly, his brows cocking into an arch.

"Tell meeeee," he prodded you, watching as you only sunk back into your pillows. You grabbed one of your plushies and shoved your face into it, flipping over so that you could kick your feet. 

You groaned more, before you screamed into your plush. "I hate men!"

Heeseung poked you again, this time a little bit harder. "Tell meeeee. Did your ex text you?"

"Worse!" your words were slightly muffled, but Heeseung could hear the sheer irritation. "Way, way, way, way, wayworse!"

You did this a little bit longer, before you huffed and flipped yourself over once more. Sitting upright, you saw Heeseung sitting there patiently, waiting for you to explain to him what the fuck was going on.

"Okay so," you began, wincing at the next words you were about to say. "You know how my Instagram is public? So that anyone can message me?"

Heeseung narrowed his eyes. "Yeeeeessss?"

You grumbled something under your breath, taking Heeseung's hands in yours. You traced shapes on his palms and played with his fingers, anything to distract yourself from the godforsaken things you'd have to say next.

"Well," you sighed, shaking your head. "I got a dick pic from some random guy."

Heeseung blinked.

"Oh."

.

.

.

"Wait, you got a what?!"

Yes, you really received an unsolicited picture of some guy's dick. Insane, really.

It was now Heeseung's turn to tweak out. 

"Oh my god!" he fell back into the pillows, grabbing at his hair. How ridiculous! "What the fuuuuuck?!"

"I know right?!" you fell back with him. The two of you laid like that, your heads next to each other. 

It was silent again, save for the sound of your parents chattering downstairs.

"Did you block him?" Heeseung suddenly asked.

"Nope," you sighed loudly. "Not yet."

Heeseung hummed. 

He couldn't imagine how many times you'd probably encountered this type of situation. And if this was the first time, it was already too much. If he were in your position, he'd have absolutely no idea how to react either. He'd be paralyzed, with no idea what to do! Maybe except...

"Do you want to fuck with him?" Heeseung blurted.

"Huh?"

"You know..." the boy swiped his tongue over his lips, wringing his fingers. "Fuck with him."

You looked at him, your head tilted as if you didn't understand.

"I-I mean, if this guy's going to be disrespectful, it wouldn't hurt to give him a taste of his own medicine, right?"

You nodded, understanding. "But how?"

Heeseung's nose scrunched. He had many ideas, but he wasn't sure which one was the best. "Well, do you want to have fun with it or do you want to genuinely scare this guy off?"

You thought for a second, before a sly grin made its way across your cheeks. "There's no harm in having fun. I can just block him afterwards, easy peasy."

"Oh," Heeseung said. Then, a good idea popped into his head. His lips curved. "I have just the idea for that."

"Is this okay?"

"Hmm, a little to the left."

Heeseung's plan was funny, but it also made you feel... mushy.

The idea was for Heeseung to respond on your phone pretending to be your boyfriend, something that would probably scare the other guy off. 

After a little bit of stalking, you guys concluded that the guy was a frat bro, so it would be best to prepare some pictures for evidence.

The first picture you decided to take was one that showed just a small part of your back and shoulders in bed, just enough to make it seem like you were in bed with someone. That way, it would be believable if Heeseung pretended to be your boyfriend.

So here you were, laying in bed with the blankets strategically draped over you, pretending to be asleep, while Heeseung snapped 'candid' pictures. You turned off all the lights to make it more believable, so if your parents walked in now they'd be confused as all hell.

"It's a little blurry," Heeseung remarked as he looked at the camera roll.

"That's perfect," you rolled over, facing him. "It'll look even more candid."

The next picture that you prepared was a little bit more risky, but all the more impactful.

"So... So.. Uhm—" Heeseung's cheeks burned as he explained it to you. "I think it would scare him if he thought he was messing with a super buff guy, you know?"

"Uh huh."

"W-Well," Heeseung grimaced. "If I send— like— a picture of my muscles, or something, I think it would scare him off."

You blinked. "Is this just an excuse to show off your biceps?"

"No!"

As you tuned out Heeseung's rambling, you thought for a few seconds. If you were a guy, and some girl's boyfriend caught you trying to flirt with her, what would make you piss yourself?

Well, it would definitely be any explicit indication of intimacy... Your lips moved faster than your mind.

"What if you sent a picture of you with hickeys and lipstick marks?" you gushed.

Heeseung choked on his spit, coughing so loud that you thought he would burst a lung. His face was bright red, his eyes as wide as saucers as he stared at you horrified.

"A picture of me with what?!"

"Hickeys and lipstick marks," you said casually.

"And where would I get them?!" Heeseung was going to faint. If you said what he think you were going to say, he'd absolutely combust—

"Me, duh."

Flames. Absolute flames. That's what Heeseung felt on his skin. Were you just suggesting that you could give him hickeys and lipstick marks? His heart was pounding in his chest, so loud that he could barely hear his own thoughts.

"I mean, if you don't want to, we can just—"

"No!" Heeseung interrupted you, as if he wasn't as red as a tomato. "I can take it!"

And that's how Heeseung found himself sitting on your bedroom floor, his body so hot and hands clammy as he watched you roll up his sleeve. 

Here was the plan for this picture: You'd put a few lipstick marks and hickeys on his biceps and neck. That way, he could snap a quick picture of that area alone while flexing, effectively scaring off the guy.

(Or maybe this entire plan was a very poor excuse for Heeseung to pretend to be your boyfriend and for you to kiss him.)

"Have you ever gotten a hickey?"

Heeseung's cheeks flared. "N-No."

You quickly put on your most pigmented lipstick. Slowly, you leaned closer to Heeseung's neck. He could feel your breath against his ears, making him want to squirm away. You put your hand on the other side of him so that you could stabilize yourself.

"Well," you whispered. "It doesn't hurt, so don't worry."

You brought your hand up to Heeseung's hair, gently tilting his head back to get better access to his neck. 

"Can I...?" you rasped, wetting your lips.

"Y-Yes."

And with that, your lips attacked his neck. You made sure to press on firm kisses so that the imprint of your lips would be defined on his neck. 

With each kiss, Heeseung let out a quiet whimper, his eyes squeezing shut as his arm jerked out to grasp your arm gently.

He felt like he was dreaming, because here he was, having you kiss him. No intense build-up, no dramatic reason, just because it was funny and you wanted to fuck with someone. God, Heeseung would be lying if he said he never thought about what your lips would feel like. They were always so pretty, and so soft.

All throughout his life, Heeseung had never had a romantic experience. It was his first time ever being kissed on the neck, and goddamnit was he sensitive. The way your lips pressed against his skin made him feel so weak. 

He wanted to be closer to you, closer than whatever this stupid little plan was. He craved it.

His other arm came up to slither around your waist, pulling you even closer to him.

"Hees— Heeseung— Ah—" you pulled your lips away, both of your hands coming up to clutch his shoulders for stability. "What are you doing?"

Heeseung's pupils were blown out. 

"Get on top of me," he breathed desperately, "Please."

"Shiiiit," you cursed under your breath, before you plopped down on his lap, your legs on either side of his hips. 

The two of you locked eyes, staring into each other's swirling pools of color. You could've been lost in Heeseung's eyes for minutes or for hours, there wouldn't have been a difference.

Oh, how much you wanted to kiss him. Not just a stupid little kiss on the neck. You wanted to kiss him on the lips, kiss him so hard that he forgot his own name.

Yeah, you had a crush on Heeseung Lee. You always had, and it seemed like no matter what, you were always bound to be downright attracted to him. God, you wanted him so bad.

Meanwhile, blaring alarms were going off in Heeseung's head. 

He wanted to kiss you so bad. He wanted to drown in you, for you to be the only thing enveloping his senses.

Except... he had no idea how to— he had no idea now to express that. And it was making his head spin.

You opened your mouth to speak, not realizing that Heeseung, too, had something to say.

"Hee—"

"I—"

Both of you shut your mouths so quickly.

"S-Sorry," you stuttered. "Go ahead."

Heeseung blinked a few times, before he shut his eyes. You watched how he parted his lips, yet no sound came out, almost as if he was searching for the words in his head to say. 

"I-I—" he started, before cutting himself off. His eyes squeezed together, his brows crashing together. You could feel his body tense under you.

"I don't know," he finally got out. "I-I— I don't know what—"

You brought your hand up to cup his cheek reassuringly. Slowly, he opened his eyes, and your thumb rubbed his cheek gently. 

"Tell me," you whispered. "Tell me, baby."

Heeseung gulped. He felt like he'd melt under your gaze, but the way you were so gentle encouraged him. Heeseung kept his eyes glued on the floor, because if he even dared to look you in the eye he'd turn to stone.

He took a deep breath. He'd tell you how you made him feel. It shouldn't be too hard, right?

But the moment that he opened his mouth, his brain turned to mush.

"I want to— I just— I don't know—" he stammered— "I wish I could— You know— It's hard to say, and—"

And if it wasn't for the way you stifled a giggle, Heeseung thought he would've gone on like this for another ten minutes. 

The moment that Heeseung realized you were smiling at his struggle, he shut his mouth, letting out a groan. He threw his head back, bringing his hands up to shove his face in.

"Shut up," he groaned. This was so embarrassing. He could feel heat prickling on his skin. His face was so hot that he thought he'd explode. "Shutupshutupshutup!"

You giggled again, this time using both your hands to cup his face. 

Despite your cool, nonchalant exterior, you were giggling and kicking your feet on the inside. 

"You're—" you breathed— "You're such a fucking loser."

Heeseung was about to tell you to shut up again, but you cut him off.

"Can I kiss you?"

You relished in the way his eyes widened, probably the widest that you've ever seen them. So cute.

"P-Please."

And with that, you smashed your lips against his. 

Poor boy, he was completely frozen at first. But as you swiped your tongue over his bottom lip, you relished in the way that he let out a gasp, giving you just enough room to slip your tongue inside his mouth. You explored his mouth— every corner and every crevice was meant for you to corrupt. 

You could feel his hands fall down at his sides. Of course, a loser like Heeseung wouldn't know where to put them. As you taste his lips, you guided his hands to your thighs. He gasped again, and you took this as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. As you did, Heeseung squeezed your thighs, letting out a whine.

Finally, you pulled away.

The two of you stared at each other, both breathless with swollen lips.

And as you caught your breath, you breathed, "I like you."

Maybe he would've been too stunned to speak after a kiss like that, but your words a loud "Huh?!" spill from his lips.

You grasped his chin, pulling him in again. 

"I like you," you murmured against his lips, your eyes lidded.

Heeseung's breath hitched. "I—"

"Was that what you were going to say?" you said slyly, unwilling to hide your teasing tone. A whimper came from him. "Did I beat you to it?"

You ghosted your lips over his teasingly, loving the way that Heeseung leaned forward a little bit, whining as you pulled away just enough for him to miss you.

"Just—" he murmured, "Just kiss me already."

"Gladly."

And with that, your lips crashed together. This time, Heeseung's lips were moving, too. He was a clumsy kisser, someone who had no fucking idea what he was doing. But that made the kiss even better. You've kissed many boys, but for some reason Heeseung was the best kisser you've had. You could taste him.

"Such a fucking loser," you murmured. You felt his hands slide up your waist, squeezing you.

"Yeah," Heeseung mumbled against your lips, and although his words were muffled, his voice drove you crazy. "Yourfucking loser."

Immediately you pulled away.

You looked at Heeseung, and he looked at you.

.

.

.

You bursted out laughing, and so did he.

"God, you're so cheesy!"

"Shut up!"

BONUS

You rested your cheek on Heeseung's shoulder, watching as he typed away. After all this, the two of you still needed to fulfill your plan: fuck with Mr. Dick Pic.

"What are you going to say?" you asked, nuzzling your face into Heeseung's neck. You admired the purple-pink marks littering his skin, the ones that you left. Your lipstick marks smudged when you and Heeseung were making out earlier, so you had to redo them. It was hard, because all Heeseung could do was giggle like a little girl.

"Trust me, I'll cook something up."

And cook he did.

[name]: she's busy bro

[name]: [photo]

The first photo he sent was the candid one of you.

You waited a few seconds, and Mr. Dick Pic immediately opened the message.

Heeseung hid your phone from you, so you couldn't see the guy's response.

But what you could see was how he furiously typed away.

You thought it was funny at first... until Heeseung was typing paragraphs and paragraphs so loud that you could hear his fingers tapping the scream.

"Hold on, babe, I'm fighting this guy!"

"Just block him...!"

Some things never changed.

---

oh heeseung the man you are 😭🙏

i love pink heeseung 🥹💗💗

also a couple a months ago i told my friends that if heeseung dyes his hair for this comeback i'd match him. should i go pink?? 🤭 (i did say i missed my pink hair 🤔)

---

so good 🥹🫶

── 𓈒 𖧷 LOVE TINT ✶ 엔하이픈 LHS ! 𝗂𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖽𝗂𝖿𝖿𝖾𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗉 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝖽𝗎𝖼𝗍𝗌 𝖻𝗒 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗁𝖾𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗎𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗂𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽

𝓹𝐥𝐨𝐭 ♡𝓹𝐫é𝐜𝐢𝐬 bf!heeseung x fem!r. 𖥔fluff one shot, est relationship ‎⸝⸝⸝ kissing, not proofread wordcount` 486. 𓈃 ◌⠀⠀˖ 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐕𝐄 𓏵⠀

! feedbacks and reblogs are highly appreciated and encouraged! PLS REBLOG ♡

YOU'VE JUST RETURNED FROM A SHOPPING SPREE, armed with a bag full of new lipstick shades. heeseung watches with mild amusement as you empty the bag onto the vanity, laying out the tubes in a neat row.

"bought the whole store, did you?" he teases, lounging on the bed with a playful grin.

you roll your eyes, though a smile tugs at your lips. "i just wanted to find the perfect shade. and you're going to help me."

heeseung raises an eyebrow, intrigued. "how?"

you pick up the first lipstick, a bright cherry red, and twist it open. "i'm going to try these on, and you'll tell me how they look. ready?"

heeseung shifts to sit on the edge of the bed, leaning forward with interest. "ready."

you carefully apply the cherry red lipstick, making sure it's even. then you lean in and press a kiss to his cheek, leaving a bold red mark. your lips linger for a moment, feeling the warmth of his skin. you step back, inspecting the kiss print.

"hmm, too dark," you mutter to yourself, reaching for the next shade.

the next one is a soft peach. you apply it and kiss his other cheek. this time, the mark is more subtle, blending almost seamlessly with his skin. your kiss is gentle, barely more than a brush of your lips.

"too light," you say, shaking your head.

you pick up a deep wine-colored lipstick next. after carefully applying it, you lean in and kiss the corner of his mouth. the dark color stands out against his skin.

"too bold," you muse, wiping off the lipstick.

next, you choose a rosy pink, applying it with precision. you kiss his neck, and heeseung shivers slightly at the touch. your lips soft against his skin, lingering just enough to leave a warm sensation.

"hmm, nice, but not quite right," you murmur, reaching for the next tube.

grabbing a coral shade, you apply it and then press your lips to his forehead. the bright, summery color pops against his skin. the kiss is playful, light, and airy, almost making him chuckle.

"too playful," you say, wiping off the kiss mark.

finally, you pick up a rosy shade, twisting it open. you apply it carefully, then lean in to kiss his lips. heeseung kisses you back, his lips moving gently against yours, the kiss deepening slightly. his hand comes up to rest on your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin as if to hold you there for a moment longer. the sensation is electric, sending a shiver down your spine as heeseung's other hand comes to rest on your waist, pulling you even closer.

when you pull away, you smile, inspecting the kiss mark. "perfect."

heeseung wraps an arm around you, pulling you close. "found the winner?" he asks, his voice soft.

you nod, tracing a finger over your lips, still tingling from the kiss. "definitely."

---

STOP HE LOOKS SO GOOD 😭🫠🫶

for my hee stans and pink hair hee enthusiasts <3

---

THIS WAS SOO GOOOD OMG 😭💗💗 im not a big harry potter fan but amortentia fics have my heart fr. this one was so well written omg the end was so so so cute 😭

the misfortunes and misconceptions of lee heeseung

❝ i'll let you in on a little secret: wanting nothing to do with y/n starts with actually wanting nothing to do with her. ❞

PAIRING ▸ slytherin!heeseung x hufflepuff!fem!reader

GENRES ▸ fluff, crack, hogwarts au, idiots to lovers au

WARNINGS ▸ profanity, the classic amortentia trope because what screams valentine's day like love potions, heeseung is down horrendous, sunghoon missing half an eyebrow, jake is babygirl, lots of catastrophizing, minor bending of canon for plot convenience, and a kiss scene of course

SUMMARY ▸ by no means does lee heeseung hold any romantic feelings toward you. the mere possibility is jarring, considering his luck seems to take a turn for the worst whenever he’s around you. from getting hit with a bludger during quidditch to getting into trouble with filch for setting off dungbombs in his office, heeseung starts to think you’re some sort of bad omen. he’s prepared for disaster when you two become partners in potions, but why does the amortentia smell like you?

WORD COUNT ▸ 13,497 words

PLAYLIST ▸ lavender kiss by the licks

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ this is jayflrt's valentine for you ♡

LEE HEESEUNG WAS CERTAIN YOU MUST HAVE HAD AN AFFINITY FOR NEARLY KILLING HIM REGULARLY.

When he, Slytherin’s prized Seeker, got knocked off his broom by a bludger, there was only one potential suspect he could narrow the crime down to in his head. 

In your hand was the very bat that sent the bludger in his way, hitting his miserable self square in the gut. 

This seemed to be a pattern between the two of you, where it was mostly Heeseung experiencing great misfortune because of the Hufflepuff’s mere existence. His best friend, Park Jongseong, told him that he had probably wronged you in a past life for him to suffer this much around you. While Heeseung initially brushed it off as a joke, he couldn’t help but start to question if it was actually true.

Back in his first year, Heeseung met you during the Sorting Hat ceremony, where you accidentally tripped him right before he walked up to get sorted. Everyone in the Grand Hall laughed at him, which was not his idea of a welcoming initiation into Slytherin, so he glared holes into the back of your head for the rest of the year. 

In his third year, you ran into him at King’s Cross station, causing all of his trunks to go flying. While you were helping him repack everything, you two realized that the Hogwarts Express was long gone, and neither of you could even access the magical entryway to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. Heeseung cried into his hands at the train station until a professor Apparated to pick them both up, and then you teased him about his tears for what felt like forever. 

In a similar sense, Heeseung had somehow always managed to get into trouble when he was around you. Now, he had naturally grown out of disliking you for causing him so much suffering (mostly because he was far more popular now and everyone had forgotten about how you sent him flying during a duel, unfortunately revealing his strawberry-patterned boxers to an entire room of second and third years), but Heeseung was still wary about the adversity that seemed to follow you.

Were you a friend? Heeseung couldn’t tell for sure. You two spent an awfully long amount of time together, but you both also had your separate friend groups that hardly intermingled. Heeseung supposed you were more of a thorn in his side that hurt more when he tried to yank it out.

Now, there was nothing left for him to do now but clutch his stomach in pain and pray that he didn’t need to spend another night in the infirmary because of you. (Madam Pomfrey started to keep a tally; “Oh, Miss L/N didn’t injure you again, did she? Have a toffee, sweetheart,” was what he was expecting to hear from the school nurse.)

“Heeseung! Are you okay?” you asked, running up to him with your other hand clutching your broom. Thankfully, Heeseung had managed to grip his broom with one hand on the way down until he had safely landed, so there were no damages to his Moontrimmer. “Who did this to you?!”

“I know you’re holding the bat behind your back, Y/N,” he got out through gritted teeth.

He watched as you let your arm fall defeatedly to your side, revealing the Beater’s bat that violated practically every safety protocol.

“Oh, how embarrassing,” Kim Minjeong, the Chaser for the Slytherin team, said with a giggle from behind her palm. She was still floating a few feet from the ground, witnessing the damage done from her broom. Heeseung glared up at her. “Not a good look for you, Captain.”

Normally, he would shut Minjeong up with his usual threat that went something along the lines of putting a curse on her bloodline. This time, however, Heeseung was in far too much pain and humiliation to come up with a witty comeback.

Madam Hooch came running across the field to see what happened to her star Quidditch player. On the bright side, Heeseung knew that you wouldn’t get in trouble because game was game; you were just doing what you needed to ensure your victory, even though Slytherin still had a huge lead on Hufflepuff. After momentary deliberation, however, Heeseung realized that the bright side should have been the fact that he was still alive. Why was he thinking about you, anyway? He would pay galleons to see you get in trouble—but not too much trouble (and Merlin’s beard, he was far too soft).

“He needs to be taken to the infirmary,” Madam Hooch said. She spared you a glance before making a shooing motion with her gloved hand. By this time, his friends (Park Sunghoon, a sixth year who Heeseung ‘adopted’ in his second year, and Yang Jungwon, a broody fourth year with a penchant for rule-breaking) had come running down the stands and across the field. “You can visit him after you finish the match, Y/N. Madam Pomfrey can handle this.”

“Yes, of course,” you murmured, turning to Heeseung again and muttering a pathetic apology, to which he cracked a grin at. Maybe he shouldn’t have been grinning since you nearly cracked his skull open, or maybe he had really lost it this time. 

“It’s only been a week since you’ve managed to nearly get me killed.” Heeseung shuddered at the memory of you accidentally setting his cloak on fire last week with a Blasting Charm. “Don’t worry. I knew something was gonna happen sooner or later.”

Words of affirmation weren’t exactly his strong suit. 

But upon seeing the awkward grin on your face, like a blast of light that hit him all at once, Heeseung was suddenly painfully aware of everything—the awfully pleasant scent of lavender wafting from you, the searing ache from his injury, the way your hair framed your face, and the cool metal balled in his fist. 

Wait—metal?

Before he was about to be carried out in a not-so-dignified manner, Heeseung raised his arm to open his palm, revealing the Golden Snitch that sat obediently, fanning its wings out once before closing again. A gasp rose from the crowd, and then the shocked looks from both teams followed. Minjeong nearly fell off her broom. The Slytherin house all but exploded in cheers after Madam Hooch gaped at the sight, fumbled for her whistle, blew it loudly, and then announced Slytherin’s victory over Hufflepuff. 

Heeseung sighed in relief and fully collapsed onto the ground, looking up at the clear sky with contentment lifting the anguish from his brows. And now that he knew the verdict of the match, the pain finally hit him all at once, and he hoped Madam Pomfrey could fix him up before his house started celebrating their triumph. 

“Heeseung! That was an incredible play!” Nishimura Riki, a fourth year Gryffindor, cried as he came running from the stands. If by incredible, he was referring to Heeseung getting bludgeoned to the ground, then sure, incredible—outstanding, even. The flash of Riki’s camera went off, capturing a pathetic-looking Heeseung lying limp on the springy turf. “This’ll definitely make the front page!”

Ever since the Nishimura kid got an internship at the Daily Prophet, the Slytherin team had been worried about appearing on the news unprompted—most likely in unflattering angles, too. It had even gotten to the point of Song Eunseok pinning up a poster of Riki to a corkboard in the locker room, as if he was a wanted criminal at large.

“Er, could we retake—”

“You grab his legs,” a voice from behind him ordered. It was Sunghoon, who had come running with Jungwon to carry him out of the field. “I’ll take his arms.”

Heeseung balked. “Guys, wait!”

But it was no use. He was already in the air, and Jungwon and Sunghoon were both ignoring his protests.

As if he was a rather sad sack of potatoes, Heeseung was carried out, body dangling and his eyes screwed shut as he heard more flashes of Riki’s camera going off. Most of all, he wondered if you caught sight of how pitiful he was. Surely, you found it hilarious, didn’t you? He was certain he would get teased endlessly in Charms next week. 

“Nice game, champ,” Jungwon commented oh-so-casually, and Heeseung’s blood started boiling. 

“Can you put me down already?! We have magic for a reason!” he blurted out, but his two friends ignored him all the same. 

“I saw Sunoo being carried out like this the other day outside of the Dueling Club meeting room,” Sunghoon mused, and Heeseung imagined the poor Slytherin also being hauled to the infirmary like a ragdoll. “I heard he got hit with a nasty Disarming Charm. Someone nearly blasted the poor guy right into the Clock Tower’s pendulum.”

“I know. He’s better at dodging than I thought,” Jungwon replied unsympathetically. “What a shame. I’ll get him next time.”

Heeseung blanched. Poor Kim Sunoo.

But then he remembered his current state and thought Sunoo was better off than him. At least Sunoo wasn’t carried out in front of the entire school. 

Really, the reason why Heeseung was so agitated was because being Slytherin’s Seeker meant that he had an important role. It was a responsibility that clearly set him apart, and it surely had to look impressive to others—for example, you—but here he was, being carried out of the Quidditch pitch like an idiot. It put all of his hard work and countless hours of practice to shame. 

Thankfully, although his failing jock status might have damaged his ego to the point of no return, Madam Pomfrey didn’t seem to think his injuries were too severe this time. After a few healing charms, which made him feel back to normal in no time, Heeseung was ready to leave the infirmary. 

Sunghoon and Jungwon ended up leaving right after dropping him off, claiming that they had to go celebrate their win in the Slytherin common room. Heeseung found it completely disrespectful to ditch the very person who brought them to victory. 

To his surprise, you were waiting outside the door, twiddling your thumbs and doing that annoyingly cute habit of yours where you chewed on the inside of your cheek whenever you were in trouble (which, frankly, happened a lot of the time). He made a great deal of effort to adjust his cape before walking over to you with raised eyebrows, wondering if an apology was coming his way. 

“I just wanted to say,” you started, voice uncharacteristically small and wavering, but then you followed up with an incomprehensible mumble that Heeseung could hardly decipher.

“What?”

“Uh,” you raised your voice this time, keeping it steadier with extra effort, “on the way here—funny story, really—I was telling Jake about how you set off a Dungbomb in Filch’s office the other week. Honest to God, I didn’t even see Mrs. Norris!”

Although you didn’t provide a solid conclusion, he was able to connect the dots and figure out what you were getting at. He almost wished he stayed oblivious because how was this happening to him twice in a day?

Heeseung’s face fell. “You’ve got to be joking.”

“Filch is looking for you,” you finished with a guilty look drawn across your face. 

It happened to be your second guilty look of the day, actually. Two too many for Heeseung to handle. 

There was one thing Lee Heeseung was quite sure of, and it was that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with you from now on. 

The aftermath of his scolding from Filch resulted in him receiving evening detentions for the rest of the week. All you brought him was terrible luck wherever he went, and despite how nice you smelled and how shiny your hair was, he didn’t need your misfortune clinging to him like it would be the last breath he’d take. 

Honestly, any longer around you and he was pretty sure he would be taking his last breath soon.

But it was honestly ridiculous how hard Heeseung had to restrain himself from going near you. He would pass by your unbothered self in the Courtyard, hoping to get some verbal recognition from you that would change his mind about his whole ignoring thing, but you simply just paid more attention to stupid Jake Sim from Hufflepuff. 

Who cared about Jake Sim, anyway? Surely not the several girls in his year that threw themselves at him. There was nothing redeeming about him, not even with his perfect smile and perfect grades and perfect robes. Honestly, where did he get those robes? Heeseung bought his at Madam Malkin’s, like virtually every other student, but they weren’t as perfectly trimmed and fitted as Jake Sim’s perfect robes.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” Park Jongseong, a sixth year Ravenclaw, sneered once he saw the glower across Heeseung’s face. “Wanting nothing to do with Y/N starts with actually wanting nothing to do with her.”

“Who said I didn’t not want anything to do with her?” Heeseung fired back, but even he was confused about his response, taking a few extra seconds to process what nonsense had just spewed out of his mouth. “Okay, look, just pretend I said the funniest thing you’ve ever heard when she walks by us.”

“Actually, that was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Heeseung gave him an exasperated look. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I mean, you’re not that funny to begin with. Kind of hilarious that you think you’d be able to tell me the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“You literally just told me I said the funniest thing ever.”

“Funny because it was such a pathetic thing to say. There’s a difference.”

“You’re a stupid git, you know that?”

“Am I now?”

“The stupidest of stupid gits.”

In truth, Jake was the stupid git. Jongseong could tease Heeseung all he wanted, but Jake Sim was the one grinning down at you with a stupid sparkle in his eyes, taunting the Slytherin with those evil, perfect corners of his lips. Didn’t he have better things to do? Like not taking up the oxygen in a place where he was clearly unwanted?

Also, to set the record straight, Heeseung needed to make it perfectly clear (to himself, too, because this was clearly confusing for him and everybody around him) that he was not into you. 

Probably.

Sure, he felt a smidge of fondness because you two had gotten into life-threatening situations before (all your fault, by the way), so there was probably some semblance of friendship that was only due to the fact that shared trauma often brought people together. But that was all it was. Heeseung’s feelings did not extend into anything remotely romantic; he even shuddered at the very thought. 

That was right. He was your friend, and that was all he wanted to be. Heeseung most definitely did not think about anything like holding your hand, or plucking flowers to braid into your hair, or kissing you in hidden corners of the castle. That would be ridiculous and completely unlike him.

And then you really did walk past him and Jongseong, so Heeseung took it upon himself to punch his friend’s shoulder hard and burst into forced laughter. He tried extremely hard to convince himself that this was a very normal thing to do, but soon after the act, he wanted to lay on the floor of the Owlery until the owls collectively decided to fly his body out somewhere far away—hopefully another country.

“Idiot, I’m the one who’s supposed to laugh,” Jongseong reminded him once you were out of sight. (You did not pay attention to his charade, Heeseung was sad to note.) With a scoff, he added, “You should probably hit the books ‘cause acting’s clearly not up your alley.”

Heeseung let out a retired sigh and stood up from the stone bench they had been sitting on. “I’m going to Potions.”

“Oh, you attend class now? Shocking.” 

“I prefer not spending my evenings in detention.”

“Alright. I’ll update you later on the Jake-and-Y/N show.”

“You do that, and I’ll show you how good I’ve gotten at the hair loss curse,” he spat. “I’d start investing in some hats.”

“Is that why Sunghoon’s missing half an eyebrow?”

Heeseung didn’t answer. Honestly, Sunghoon’s predicament had nothing to do with him, but he left it up to Jongseong’s imagination for the sake of intimidation.

As he stormed away (well, more of a brisk walk; Heeseung wasn’t one to storm), he realized that his friends had all sorts of misconceptions about him. He couldn’t wrap his head around why Jongseong would possibly think he was concerned about you and Jake Sim. Sure, he spent a good portion of the morning glaring daggers at Jake Sim, but there was no way that meant Heeseung was that concerned about the Hufflepuff. 

What was there to be concerned about, anyway? Heeseung was the Seeker of the Slytherin Quidditch team, scored five O.W.L.s last year, and he was the top duelist at Hogwarts. Jake Sim was just another pretty boy who Heeseung could crush under the sole of his shoe if he wanted to. 

His mind wandered to thoughts of you and Jake Sim walking back to the Hufflepuff common room together. Your melodic laugh echoing through the halls because of a joke he told; your fingers entwined with his as he carried your books for you; and your eyes practically glowing with admiration as you watched him intently. 

The thought made Heeseung sick to his stomach. Not because he liked you or anything disgusting like that, but because Jake Sim didn’t deserve to receive that much attention—not even in a hypothetical scenario that played out in Heeseung’s wild, almost sadistic imagination.

One thought comforted him, though: You had Potions with Heeseung, meaning you had to pry yourself from Jake’s side to attend Slughorn’s class. 

As he was about to approach the classroom door, Heeseung realized he had forgotten his Potions textbook. He debated whether to go in without it or run to his dormitory to fetch it, and he eventually went with the latter to avoid being clueless if today required brewing a potion. This resulted in him being about ten minutes late to class, which he decided was your fault somehow. 

Immediately upon entering the room, the pungent scent of lavender filled his nostrils, and it was all he could smell. He later recognized that there were a few other smells mixed in—the smell of butterbeer and the smell of fresh ink. The lavender, however, was so intense that it overwhelmed his senses.

It smelled like you.

Before Heeseung was about to blurt out and ask why you doused the entire classroom in your perfume, Professor Slughorn turned to look at him with brows raised in pleasant surprise.

“Ah, Mr. Lee,” he greeted. “You’re early today.”

He was ten minutes late.

“Uh, just forgot my textbook,” he said, holding up the Potions textbook he walked several, brutal flights of stairs to retrieve. 

“If you’re ready to join us, I was just going over Amortentia.” 

If Heeseung’s memory served him correctly, that was either the potion that boosted one’s memory or the potion that induced laughter. He hadn’t exactly been doing his reading over the summer, which was probably not an intelligent decision on his part considering he was in N.E.W.T. level Potions.

Either way, he was a little too preoccupied mentally replaying how his eyes met yours briefly. Heeseung walked over to stand next to you—for research purposes, of course—because he needed to know if you had really drenched yourself in lavender perfume, or if he had just gone crazy.

He nudged you with his elbow and muttered, “You reek.” 

Okay, that was definitely not a chivalrous way of putting it.

“Excuse me?” Your unnaturally high-pitched voice was hardly a whisper, but Heeseung could detect… panic?

“No, I mean your perfume,” he corrected quickly. “It’s everywhere.”

“Is it that strong?” You lifted your sleeve to sniff at it. 

“Yeah? It’s—”

“—the most powerful love potion known to wizardkind,” Heeseung heard Slughorn say as he redirected his focus to the actual lecture. “Amortentia’s said to smell different to each person, according to what attracts them.”

So it turned out that his memory didn’t serve him correctly at all.

Heeseung had his fair share of near-death experiences—probably a few more than the average Hogwarts student.

Never had he wanted so badly to combust into flames on the spot like a phoenix. Except he didn’t want to rise from the ashes; he was perfectly content with staying dead and buried without ever having to relive the last couple minutes of his life, which he was sure would scar him forever. 

Immediately, Heeseung stopped focusing on Slughorn’s lecture to conjure up some lame excuse in his head. Maybe he could tell everyone that his Muggle-born father owned a lavender farm back in the day, thus his love for lavender scents bloomed. But, Merlin’s beard, that didn’t even make sense! Just because he loved the smell of lavender didn’t mean he was in love with it. The smell was always attached to the person—the very object of his desires.

And, of course, it all pointed back to you.

Heeseung should not have had the realization that he was in love with you in the middle of Potions, of all classes. Astronomy? Sure. He thought it would be romantic to come to terms with his feelings whilst observing the celestial bodies in the sky. Divination? Even better. Gazing into a crystal ball for answers made complete sense. 

But Potions? Seriously? This was probably the least romantic place in Hogwarts aside from the haunted bathroom in the South Wing. 

No, on second thought, Heeseung saw some potential in the haunted bathroom. Something about the complete isolation of the facility made it all the more exciting.

Potions, on the other hand, was simply downright dreadful. 

“Amortentia, as you all know, is extremely dangerous. I only have it out here for educational purposes, so do not even think about touching that cauldron,” Slughorn warned. “Instead, for today’s lesson, I want you all to partner up and brew something… more lighthearted—say, Elixir for Inducing Euphoria. You can find it in your Potions books in chapter eight.”

After his lecture, Slughorn made everyone write down what Amortentia smelled like for them, warning his class about the dangers of the love potion being slipped into someone’s food or drink. Heeseung hastily wrote his down on a scrap of parchment before pocketing it where he would surely forget it existed.

He had been hoping Potion-making was going to be individual work today. He despised partner work, especially when that meant Heeseung would potentially be working with you, which didn’t prove too successful for his heart or his grades. 

More importantly, Heeseung did not, by any means, want to work alongside you after accidentally admitting that the Amortentia smelled like lavender to him.

Not to mention you were atrocious when it came to Potions. Heeseung needed more than two hands to count all the times your cauldron blew up in your face this year. Even when Heeseung took the reins and stirred the ingredients himself, you would somehow manage to expertly worsen the situation.

Thankfully, Kim Sunoo also took Potions, so as soon as Heeseung spotted the Slytherin, he grabbed his robes by the nape. 

“You’re working with me.” 

It came off more as an order than a request, but Heeseung needed to be firm to emphasize the gravity of the situation he was in. What if he died working with you? Did Sunoo want him dead? 

“No way,” Sunoo refused. “I already told Sohee I’d work with him. Plus, you never bring the right ingredients.”

Well, that was that; Sunoo hated Heeseung and wanted him dead. 

“Are you serious? Sohee?” Heeseung asked, acting as if Sohee wasn’t one of the top students in Potions. “You’re turning your best friend down?”

“No, I’m turning you down.”

“Okay, ouch.”

“Sunoo, d’you have any Sopophorous beans on you?” Lee Sohee asked as he approached the two, reading off his Potions book. “I have Worm—oh, hey, Heeseung!”

With little enthusiasm, he greeted, “Hi, Sohee.”

“Heeseung needs a partner,” Sunoo explained.

“Oh, really?” Before Heeseung could stop him, Sohee turned his head and cupped his hands around his mouth, yelling, “Y/N! Heeseung needs a partner, too!”

“Sohee!” Heeseung hissed, suddenly wishing Sohee’s head was a Quaffle he could launch into oblivion. He lowered his voice to mutter, “Have you considered that maybe I’m asking Sunoo because I don’t wanna partner with Y/N?”

He shrugged in response. “How was I supposed to know that?”

Oh, this was horrible. Not only did Sunoo hate Heeseung and want him dead, but Sohee had joined in on the cause, too. They were both clearly plotting something wicked against him.

But now he had no other choice. It wasn’t like he could turn you down after Sohee had blatantly lied about Heeseung’s intentions. This was the worst outcome yet; he was probably going to fail Potions because of you, and then he would have to write a make-up paper on the stupid elixir they were supposed to brew.

“No one wants to partner with me!” you complained, shoulders sagging and lips forming a pout when you walked over to the Slytherin. “I can always count on you, though, Hee.”

Heeseung couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

No one wanted to partner with you? What had the wizarding world come to? Where was the comradery? 

He was almost infuriated by how spineless the rest of his classmates were. Sure, Heeseung was complaining about working with you seconds prior, but you said it yourself: you could always count on him. At the end of the day, failing today’s class and writing a make-up paper was nothing in the grand scheme of things. Heeseung would always extend a helpful hand to those who needed it, or someone he was potentially crushing on.

Get a grip, Heeseung, he scolded himself. You do not have a crush on her. She’s just a good friend, that’s all. A perfectly normal, platonic friend of yours who gets on your nerves sometimes… and smells rather nice… and sort of looks extremely pretty when she has her hair tied up… and—

Okay, this was getting ridiculous.

“Yeah,” he got out in an embarrassingly choked voice. “You were my first choice, anyway—well, after Sunoo turned me down.”

There often came a time when a man had to put himself through tough situations to overcome adversity. As Heeseung approached their table, his shiny cauldron gleaming under the lamp light, he knew exactly what he needed to do.

Make sure you didn’t lay a finger on his bloody cauldron.

Sunoo and Sohee were working at the same table, standing at the bench across from them. Heeseung quickly sifted through his bag, and, as Sunoo predicted, he didn’t bring any of the ingredients necessary for the elixir. What the hell was he going to do with Fluxweed and rose oil?

“I have porcupine quills,” you said, pulling a glass jar out of your bag.

“Uh, okay, so I need you to get a Shrivelfig and Wormwood from Slughorn’s closet,” he instructed you, giving you a thumbs-up once you nodded. “I’m gonna beg Sunoo for his Sopophorous beans.”

After you walked off, Heeseung leaned over the table and muttered, “Sunoo, please give me some of your beans.”

“No,” the prick replied. 

“Please,” Heeseung begged. “Eunseok’s table took the last of them from Slughorn’s closet.”

“Maybe, but I want something in return.”

“What do you want?”

A sly grin spread across Kim Sunoo’s face. “Tell me what the Amortentia smelled like for you.”

Honestly, Heeseung was perfectly content with writing another twenty inches to make up for a failed potion. He would even take detention, if needed. Anything to get himself out of this sick and twisted situation. 

In his head, he imagined Sunoo getting what he deserved, and that was his ass getting properly kicked during Dueling Club. He envisioned Jungwon flourishing his wand and blasting Sunoo square in the gut, knocking him straight into the fountain in the middle of the courtyard.

He gave his friend a reproachful look. “I wish Jungwon’s spell hit you.”

Sunoo chuckled darkly and held up his jar of Sopophorous beans, waving them teasingly in the air. This was almost too much for Heeseung, but he committed to working with you, so he couldn’t let you down while you were off getting the rest of the ingredients.

“Lavender,” he admitted through gritted teeth. “The Amortentia smelled like lavender.”

His eyebrows raised in mock surprise. “Hear that, Sohee? Heeseung smelled lavender. You know who else usually smells like lavender?”

At that moment, you returned with the rest of the ingredients. You showed Heeseung the jars and bottles you brought over, but he was too distracted to properly examine them. His gaze remained fixed on Sunoo, eyes burning with resentment. He prayed to Salazar that Sunoo wouldn’t slip up in front of you.

Sohee, who clearly had no idea who Sunoo was referring to, blinked slowly. “Uh, Professor Longbottom? He probably smells like it—you know, with all the time he spends in the Greenhouse.”

“Yes, Sohee, I’m in love with Professor Longbottom,” Heeseung deadpanned. “Thank you for your wonderful insight.”

You made a face. “You’re in love with who?” 

“No one,” Heeseung replied quickly once Sunoo finally handed him his desired ingredients. He lit the fire under the cauldron, dropping a sprig of peppermint inside to counterbalance the possible side-effects. “Just peel the Shrivelfig and chop the porcupine quills while I stir.”

The potion-making seemed to be going smoothly for the first few steps. However, when you were chopping the porcupine quills, Heeseung’s chest leaped when he heard an ouch come from you. He forgot about his cauldron immediately and looked over to see your finger bleeding.

“What happened?” He grabbed hold of your hand, inspecting the blood oozing from your cut. “Did you slice your finger?”

“M-my hand just slipped.”

This was bad. If Heeseung didn’t disinfect and bandage the wound, then it could possibly get infected and you’d die. (Merlin’s Beard, Heeseung, it’s hardly a flesh wound, his thoughts annoyingly cut in.) He needed to get you to Madam Pomfrey before—

“Heeseung!” Sunoo yelled from over the table. 

He whirled around to see that elixir had turned a deep purple hue, bubbling up to the rim. That was strange; it was supposed to be a bright yellow color by now. Considering he was handling the cauldron the entire time, nothing should have gone badly wrong. Time seemed to slow down as Heeseung speculated what in Salazar’s name he managed to screw up.

That was when he noticed the green bottle next to the cauldron—the Infusion of Wormwood he poured in earlier. Except it wasn’t Wormwood; the brown tag hanging from the neck of the bottle read Flobberworm Mucus.

Before he could curse himself for not reading the label properly beforehand, the failed elixir rose all the way to the top and shot out of the cauldron, spewing purple liquid all over their table and burning a hole through the wood. Slughorn’s head turned sharply in their direction, and he crossed the classroom to see what mess you and Heeseung had caused. 

“Evanesco!” the Potions teacher shouted, making the substance vanish in an instant. Slughorn looked mostly unsurprised as he turned to face you and Heeseung, letting a retired sigh slip. “Five points from Slytherin and Hufflepuff—and twenty inches on the properties of Amortentia by next class.”

“Twenty?” you cried, nearly gasping from the shock. “But, Sir, we have so much work from our other N.E.W.T. classes already!”

“And we have the Hogsmede trip after class,” Heeseung chimed in. 

And, bless his heart, Slughorn was far too kind of a soul to be too strict with either of you. He typically had high expectations for those he taught, especially the ones he sought out for his reputable ‘Slug Club,’ but he had a soft spot for his N.E.W.T. students.

“Alright then, well… you and Mr. Lee can write twenty inches together and bring it to me,” he decided in his bumbling voice. 

When he walked away, Heeseung let his shoulders sag. He couldn’t believe he had to write a paper over this—and with you, no less. He should’ve known that he was cursed to stumble upon misfortune again, but, at the same time, he just couldn’t find a way to blame you. Sure, you were the one who took the wrong bottle from the Potions cabinet, but Heeseung really should’ve double-checked the label before he poured it into the cauldron.

“Oh, well,” Sunoo simpered, wearing a proud smirk, “writing about Amortentia shouldn’t be hard for you, huh?”

Heeseung demonstrated his hair loss curse on Sunoo after class.

“I might get a D on my N.E.W.T. for Potions, Hee,” you complained to him later when you both had snuck away to the lakefront to work on your remedial paper. There was a nice patch of grass that Heeseung liked to sit on and contemplate his miserable life, so he figured that he’d share the location with you. “Or maybe even a T—oh, Godric’s Heart.”

“Hey, failing with distinction would be much more impressive than just downright failing,” he tried. 

“Not helping.”

“Sorry.”

Heeseung had a total of four words written on his parchment so far, which happened to be both of your first and last names. He wasn’t sure how he would get to twenty inches without delving into the smells of Amortentia, which he already figured he would need to use a personal anecdote for. He was trying his best to avoid that since it would lead to a rather awkward conversation. 

However, everyone was leaving for Hogsmede shortly, so Heeseung was hoping that you would decide to set aside the rest of the paper for later. 

As if the universe was rubbing Heeseung’s misery in his face, Jake Sim came strutting over in his stupid, perfect robes. (Except it was quite a normal walk; no strutting whatsoever, actually.)

“Just got out of Arithmancy?” you asked him with a gut-wrenching, brilliant smile on your face.

“Yeah, Seunghan and I were heading to Hogsmede with everyone else,” Jake answered before his gaze drifted to Heeseung. Something seemed to light up in his eyes and he started reaching into his robes. “Hey, nice game yesterday! Did you see that, uh… where did I put it…” After some rummaging through his pockets, Jake pulled out a piece of parchment which seemed to be a clipping from the school newspaper. “You made the front page!” 

Heeseung peered to see a moving picture of himself laying on the Quidditch pitch, half-conscious as the Golden Snitch rested in the palm of his hand. Next to him, Sunghoon and Jungwon gave the camera a thumbs-up and feigned shock at the sight of the Seeker on the ground. 

He was definitely going to be sending Riki a Howler. 

“Lovely,” he replied half-heartedly, fighting down a scowl when he realized that Jake wanted him to keep the clipping. “I’ll hang it up with the rest of my collection.”

Jake laughed, even though Heeseung was dead serious. He had an archive of mortifying photographs of him that Riki had taken ever since he stepped onto Hogwarts grounds. Collecting them was intentional, of course; Heeseung needed evidence for the Wizangamot if he planned to sue Nishimura Riki for defamation one day. If Heeseung had known how much of a nuisance the Gryffindor would be, he would’ve plotted for the kid to be sent back home right after his Sorting Ceremony. 

“We have a remedial paper to write,” you told Jake glumly, “so I don’t think we’ll be going to Hogsmede today.”

Jake shrugged. “I’ll see you in the common room later, then.”

“Bye-bye.”

Once Jake walked off to find his friend, Heeseung shot you a dark look. There might have been something warm and soupy in his chest whenever he even looked in your general direction, but he wouldn’t let this slide. 

“I’m not skipping the Hogsmede trip.”

“But we have to finish—”

“But Hogsmede,” he whined. “Can’t we meet in the library after and work on it?”

“I have a Transfiguration quiz I need to study for.” You sounded distressed for a moment, but you quickly brightened up. “Who are you meeting in Hogsmede?”

“Uh, well, no one in particular. Just wanted to check out some stores.”

“Then how about we go together?” you suggested. “We can work on our paper in The Three Broomsticks.”

“Oh.” Heat suddenly rose to Heeseung’s cheeks, and although he desperately tried to convince himself that your proposal did not sound like a date, he couldn’t shake how excited he was to spend some one-on-one time with you. “That works for me.”

On Salazar’s name, Heeseung was going to murder Sunghoon and Jungwon in cold blood.

While you and Heeseung had gotten cozy in an empty booth, brushing shoulders as you two looked over the first paragraph you started, his two dear friends decided to show up where they were clearly unwelcome. Apparently, mouthing get the fuck out of here wasn’t sending the message across.

Sunghoon was on some long tangent about how he barely scraped by on his O.W.L.s, but Slughorn finally gave him the green light to take Alchemy. For some odd reason, Alchemy was only available as a N.E.W.T. class, so Sunghoon had been anxious the whole summer over whether his O.W.L. results would be enough. 

“Didn’t you get five O.W.L.s?” Jungwon asked, bored.

“Six—A in Herbology,” Sunghoon corrected. “I hate plants.”

“Longbottom let you in with an Acceptable?” Heeseung raised his brows with mild interest, but he quickly steeled his expression. He was not entertaining their company, no. He started practicing the fine art of Legilimency to send a message to Sunghoon: go away, go away, go away, go away.

“He said he was especially impressed that I got into his N.E.W.T. class.”

“Oh, yeah,” you spoke up, pointing at Sunghoon. “Yizhuo told me she had no idea you were in her class until you showed up for exams.”

“I also didn’t realize she was in my class until you mentioned that.”

“How’d you even pass?” Heeseung asked.

“No clue,” Sunghoon replied honestly. “The exam was fine, but I thought the practical would be the end for me. Turns out I’m a natural. They even clapped after I ripped the leaves off a Venomous Tentacula. Like, big deal, it’s a plant.” 

Everyone at the table froze. Heeseung practically jumped seconds later, hitting his leg against the underside of the table. He had long abandoned his goal of kicking Sunghoon and Jungwon out of The Three Broomsticks. You choked on your butterbeer, wiping some of the foam off your chin. Jungwon’s eyebrows raised in disbelief. Heeseung’s knee hit the underside of the table, suppressing a groan. There was a shuffle below.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed you ducking under the table for a moment. However, he was too astounded by Sunghoon’s story to divert the topic. 

Heeseung set his butterbeer down and asked, “You just walked over and used your bare hands?”

“I suppose not showing up to class has its upsides,” Jungwon said. “Ignorance is bliss.”

“Sunghoon, do you even know what a Venomous Tentacula does?” you asked.

“What? Photosynthesis?” 

“Well, other than the snapping jaws that can either stun or kill you, and the vines reaching out to strangle you when you’re least expecting it,” Jungwon started (which didn't sound like a very pleasant start, to be honest), “there's also the venom that shoots out from its sprouts—oh, and the thorns that can kill you if you prick your finger.”

Sunghoon looked disturbed before muttering to Heeseung, “And they call Hogwarts the safest school on Earth. What a joke.”

You excused yourself shortly after the conversation came to an end, claiming that you spotted a friend a few tables over. Heeseung pretended to listen to Sunghoon and Jungwon trying to guess how old Professor Binns was, but really he was keeping an eye on you. Minjeong was whispering something to you, paused when you wrapped your arms around her, and then turned her neck to say something with sudden enthusiasm. 

Heeseung wondered how it would feel if he was sitting in that seat instead of Kim Minjeong, if your arms were draped around his shoulders like that. He thought of your hair falling into his face, how he’d brush it away and turn his head to kiss you—

Dangerous waters, he warned himself. Do not go there.

“Every time I ask him—and, mind you, it was only a couple of times—he falls asleep before he can even give me an answer!” Sunghoon complained, bringing Heeseung’s attention back to the topic of the ancient History of Magic professor. “Heeseung, has he ever told your class how old he is?”

“Couple hundred years probably,” he answered. “Can you guys leave now?”

They gawked at him, offended. 

Now Heeseung had realized he had driven himself into a corner. He couldn’t tell them the real reason why he wanted them to leave. If his friends found out that he wanted to spend time with you alone, then they would misconstrue the situation into something involving feelings—something which Lee Heeseung might have had but refused to admit out loud or to himself. 

“You two have been distracting us from finishing our paper,” he said instead, pointing at their unfinished essay. “Twenty inches! And we hardly have two.”

Jungwon, who saw right through him, asked, “You just wanna spend time with Y/N, don’t you?”

Heeseung coughed loudly, as if that would cover up whatever the Slytherin just said. “What?”

“It’s so obvious,” Sunghoon said. “Would we really be your best friends if we couldn’t pick up on who you’re into?”

“I am not into—” Heeseung paused to weigh his words. His recent revelation brought him to the point of no return; he couldn’t just lie about how he felt now. He threw an anxious look over his shoulder to make sure you were still preoccupied with Minjeong. “We have a paper to write.”

Sunghoon threw his head back to laugh. “See? You can’t even deny it.”

“It doesn’t even matter; she’s into Jake.”

They went silent. Glanced at each other out of the corner of their eyes. 

“Jake Sim?” Jungwon asked. “And Y/N?”

“Yes.”

“Jake Sim… and Y/N.”

“Yes,” Heeseung repeated with impatience seeping past his teeth. 

“What makes you think she’s into Jake?”

“Uh…” Heeseung was now irritated that he was being put on the spot because nothing was coming to mind. He just thought of you and Jake laughing together in the courtyard and jealousy wrapped tight around his heart. “I saw them together.”

“I saw you in Filch’s office the other day,” Sunghoon said. “Are you two a thing?”

Heeseung scowled at him, but before he could fire back at his friend, Jungwon said, “Just tell us you want us to leave so you can spend time with Y/N, and we’ll go.” A sly grin spread across his face, and he scarily resembled Kim Sunoo at that very moment. “You should probably make up your mind before she gets back.”

Struggling for a way out of this situation, Heeseung gave them both dirty looks. He had no choice but to give Jungwon and Sunghoon what they wanted. You were going to wrap your conversation up with Minjeong any minute now, so he had to act now before his friends terrorized him for the rest of their Hogsmede trip. 

“Fine,” he said sharply. “I wanna spend time with Y/N alone, so leave.”

Right on command, the two boys made a big scene about having to leave, throwing their hands up in exasperation and getting to their feet slowly. Sunghoon shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck as if it was a pain for them to be ordered around. Heeseung sank back into his seat in embarrassment. 

“Alright, alright, we’ll go,” Sunghoon drawled, “but you better tell us all the details after.”

Heeseung gave them his word, even though he was sure the update would simply be finishing their essay. Once Jungwon and Sunghoon strode out of the pub, he turned his gaze back to Minjeong’s table. For a moment, he just watched how your hair shone under the warm lighting. Heeseung had to avert his eyes when you turned around again to walk back to his table. There was a strange look on your face, like you were trying to work through a puzzle in your head. 

“Where’d the others go?”

For the entirety of their Hogsmede excursion, Heeseung had been trying his hardest not to look at you when you were so close to him. Now, though, with his friends gone, it was just you and him sitting almost shoulder-to-shoulder. 

He realized he was staring at your lips instead of answering your question. He licked his lips involuntarily and looked away. 

“Uh, went to check out some stores, I think,” he lied. “Should we get back to work?”

Slightly distracted, you replied, “Yes, let’s.”

The remedial paper was finally at an impressive twenty inches by the time you and Heeseung thought it would be best to start walking back to the school.

There weren’t many students around anymore as most people didn’t want to miss dinner in the Great Hall. Heeseung felt like something was off. You were focused on the paper the entire time, hardly engaging in any side conversation or recalling some fun memory. When you two ran out of things to write about Amortentia and stumbled upon the topic of describing its scent, Heeseung managed to steer away from writing about how the potion smelled for him. Instead, you two went for a more informational route with zero personal anecdotes.

The walk back to the castle was long, but Heeseung really hadn’t expected you to bring up the topic of Amortentia again. He thought hours of writing a paper on the potion would put you off of it for a long period of time. 

“So, you remember Slughorn showing us the love potion in class, right?” you started timidly while the two of you were crossing a bridge in Hogsmede. You didn’t even let Heeseung get to the trail to Hogwarts before you started your interrogation. “What’d it smell like for you?”

Fuck.

Why was everyone so interested in what the Amortentia smelled like for him? It wasn’t supposed to be some groundbreaking piece of information, and it wasn’t a big deal that it smelled like your signature scent! There were far more interesting things to converse about, like how nicely the leaves were arranged on the trees, or how interesting of a shade the sky was. 

But there was no way for him to avoid this question—not when you were staring at him so adamantly—so he resorted to lying. A white lie never hurt anyone, after all. Or, well, anyone important. 

“Like… books,” he answered, trying to keep his voice as level as possible. 

“Maybe you and the librarian are meant to be,” you teased.

“I guess sneaking into the restricted section makes the heart grow fond.” 

You laughed, and, Merlin’s beard, what a melody. Heeseung could listen to your voice all day. Preferably on a warm day while he was stretched out on some grass with your head on his lap, or maybe he’d like to be laying on your lap. Either way, he would be perfectly content just listening to you talk his ear off until—

“Y’know, that’s funny ‘cause… well, you wrote lavender here,” you said, chewing on the inside of your cheek and holding the very scrap of parchment that was supposed to be tucked away in Heeseung’s pocket.

Suddenly, he felt the urge to shut himself in the Slytherin common room and never hear you speak to him again.

In the couple of seconds he was malfunctioning for, many thoughts raced through Heeseung’s head.

First, he wondered if there was still time left to request a Ministry-issued Time-Turner under the guise that he would use it for his classes. Instead, its intended purpose would be to reverse time until Heeseung had somehow gotten himself out of this situation or destroyed that stupid piece of parchment.

The second revelation that struck him was that he must have dropped the paper in The Three Broomsticks. It must have fallen out of his pocket when he hit his knee under the table. There was a moment when he noticed you picking something up from the floor, but he hadn’t dwelled on it, expecting it to have just been a napkin. 

Lastly, he had gone extremely still—to the point of halting in his tracks and staring at you, wide-eyed. His body had completely seized up to the point where he almost thought he was shaking. Shaking—but he was shaking. He was shaking all over. Or maybe he wasn’t. He couldn’t tell. Heeseung clenched a fist to make sure he had control over his body. 

“Heeseung?”

You stopped walking, too, looking at him curiously. For a moment, it looked like you were going to apologize for reading what he wrote down, but you looked down at it again.

“Did the love potion smell like lavender?” you asked in a soft voice. Looking visibly flustered, you said in a rush, “I’m just asking because Minjeong said I always, uh… smell like lavender, and I just thought…” 

He needed to run. He needed to get out of here. He needed to disappear.

Heeseung felt like his blood was rushing through his ears, pumping so loud that he couldn’t hear anything but his heartbeat for a moment. You were saying something, but he couldn’t even make out the words your lips framed. The world had slowed down, and Heeseung wasn’t quite sure if his feet were planted firmly on the ground. 

He would have rather been anywhere else—maybe at Sunghoon’s house where his mother’s baked goods wafted from her kitchen window. He could envision the meadow right behind their house and how he spent the summer in the grass, practicing Quidditch with Sunghoon and his little sister. Jongseong would arrive days later to complain about his O.W.L.s for three hours straight until Sunghoon and Heeseung felt the life oozing out of their bodies. 

But here, with your eyes sparkling with determination, Heeseung felt like he was about to melt into a puddle. He was consumed with the ungodly urge to grab ahold of you and kiss you until his blood felt like electricity in his veins. Yes, he needed to be anywhere but here—anywhere where his feelings weren’t worn on his sleeve for the world to see. 

You started again, “Heeseung—”

Before you could get anything else out, Heeseung, who was overcome with the will to escape, felt something pulling him from behind. In a flash, he was whisked out of thin air with a tug behind his navel, leaving you gobsmacked and stranded in Hogsmede. 

He felt like he was being pushed through a thin vortex, squeezed by the fabric of reality tearing and reshaping itself around him. It took him some gasping breaths to get lungfuls of air into his body, but once he could breathe right again, he realized he was definitely not in Hogsmede.

“Excuse me?” Heeseung asked a nearby townsperson who was walking past him. He must have looked ridiculous in his Hogwarts robes, body awkwardly sprawled over two bales of hay. “Where am I?”

“Feldcroft,” the wizard answered.

He Apparated to Sunghoon’s hometown.

Not only did Heeseung spend thirty minutes trying to Apparate back to Hogsmede, but he was late for dinner. You were long gone, of course, but it seemed like you hadn’t exactly abandoned Heeseung. When he arrived on school grounds, Slughorn and McGonagall were waiting for him at the gate. This was definitely going to earn him a detention or two. 

Apparently, you ran back to school to tell McGonagall about what happened. The headmistress also noted that you were sobbing because you were convinced that it was your fault somehow. You happened to be under the belief that Heeseung wouldn’t know how to get back, which he couldn’t argue with because he considered himself lucky to Apparate back without splinching himself. 

After receiving a lecture from both professors about the dangers of Apparating unsupervised, Heeseung received two punishments: one week of detention and he wasn’t allowed to go on the next Hogsmede trip. However, he also received a pat on the back from Slughorn and a congratulations from McGonagall for a successful Apparition. 

When he recounted the story to Sunghoon, Jungwon, and Sunoo in the common room the following morning, they were howling with laughter. He had to pause approximately four times for them to catch their breaths.

“It’s not that funny,” Heeseung deadpanned.

Sunoo, who was wiping tears from the corners of his eyes, replied, “It’s kinda funny.”

Sunoo was also missing several patches of hair, which Heeseung generously didn’t point out. 

“Did my mom give you anything to bring back?” Sunghoon inquired. “I’ve been craving her tarts.”

“I didn’t exactly have time to drop by your mom’s and pick up some tarts! I was trying to Apparate back to Hogsmede, if that wasn’t already clear!”

“On the bright side,” Jungwon said, “you’ll probably pass your Apparition exam now. Sunghoon lost half an eyebrow while he was practicing yesterday.”

Sunghoon, with one and a half eyebrows, grimaced.

“So, you left Y/N hanging and she had to walk back alone?” Sunoo asked, tutting lightly as he shook his head. “Now you stand no chance of asking her out.”

Heeseung tried to cover up how taken aback he was by coughing into his arm, expertly hiding his reddening cheeks from his friends. “It’s not like that.”

“Uh-huh,” Jungwon said. “So, you’d be perfectly fine with Y/N going out with Jake?”

Heeseung’s face turned sour as he turned to look at the Slytherin. “She’s going out with who?” 

“It’s a hypothetical question.”

“Well… who she goes out with is none of my business.”

Sunghoon barked out a laugh. “Then why’d you get so worked up?”

“I’m not getting worked up,” Heeseung replied firmly, huffing as he got to his feet. “I simply don’t think she and Jake Sim are compatible, but my opinion’s got nothing to do with her.”

“Yeah?” A ghost of a smirk was plastered across Sunoo’s face. “Why don’t you think they’re compatible?”

There was a fire in the center of Heeseung’s chest, blazing and scorching his heart. He felt as if he would pass out from the immense pressure in his chest, but then his body felt so hot that everything seemed to slip away. He thought of you and Jake again, thinking about how you smiled up at him in a way Heeseung had never seen you smile at him.

The fire in his chest raged. 

“Because I exist,” he answered loudly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a Defense Against the Dark Arts class to attend.”

Whether they were awestruck or dumbfounded, Heeseung’s friends watched him leave the common room with crooked grins on their faces. He was extremely satisfied that he managed to get his two cents in without his voice cracking or wavering.

After Sunghoon was left in the common room with Sunoo and Jungwon, he slumped back in his seat and asked, “Since when did he go to class?”

Defense Against the Dark Arts was Heeseung’s favorite class. Not because he particularly enjoyed dueling or any violence of the sort, but because Professor Weasley was the only teacher who didn’t assign papers every other day. He preferred a more hands-on teaching method, which usually involved partnering up and practicing spells on fellow classmates.

Plus, when Heeseung was in moods like these—moods where he felt like he was going to burst into flames much like a phoenix would—he looked forward to blasting someone across the room. Someone preferably like Jung Sungchan, who didn’t take it personally when he conjured columns of fire in rapid succession. 

Because he was so hot with unexplained anger and unrestrained emotion, Heeseung had to set the record straight (evidently for himself, too) that he most definitely harbored romantic feelings for you.

Admittedly, this was clear after he smelled the Amortentia, but Heseung refused to allow Potions to be the class that made him aware that he was in love. He could almost envision Slughorn taking credit for his future wedding, and the very thought made him shudder. 

The fire in Heeseung’s chest grew into more of a wildfire tearing through his body once he saw Jake Sim in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

He completely forgot that Jake took this class, too. The cherry on top was that Jake and Seunghan decided to sit at the desk right behind Heeseung and Sungchan, so he could hardly focus on Sungchan rattling on about Trelawny giving him detention when he was trying his hardest to eavesdrop on Jake’s conversation.

Right when Heeseung heard Jake talking about something potentially dark and dangerous (buying a Pygmy Puff), Professor Weasley raised his wand to signal that he was starting class. 

He started discussing familial curses, which Heeseung found especially interesting because he had almost considered a career path as a Curse-Breaker. It was a dangerous line of work, according to Professor Weasley, who used to be one himself before the second wizarding war, but Heeseung thought it was an honorable job to help remove dangerous curses.

Professor Weasley decided to stray from his usual ‘partner up with the person next to you’ and instead asked everyone to practice the Shield Charm with another student who was sitting around them. This, in turn, made Heeseung’s heart drop to his stomach.

If Sungchan wasn’t an option, then Heeseung was hoping he could partner with Seunghan. He quite liked the Hufflepuff, despite him being friends with the public enemy named Jake Sim. Seunghan had always been fun to talk to, and they became closer in fifth year when they were both sent to the infirmary and had beds next to each other. Madam Pomfrey was eventually tired of the two boys practicing jinxes on each other. 

Sungchan and Seunghan partnered up almost immediately, and then the girl sitting in front of Heeseung had run off to her friend as soon as the words slipped from Professor Weasley’s mouth. There was no one else for him to turn to—no one but Jake.

“Do you have a partner yet?” Jake asked shyly, and Heeseung had to fight down a bitter retort; obviously he didn’t have a partner, or he would’ve gotten up by now. “We can practice together, if you want.”

Heeseung reluctantly got to his feet. “Sure.”

They were an odd pairing, for sure. Heeseung couldn’t help but feel awkward around Jake, and it seemed as if Jake felt the same way, even though he did his best to be overly-friendly. 

Jake decided to be the one defending himself first, so Heeseung was graced with the opportunity to cast offensive spells at him all he wanted. He was having far too much fun casting Expelliarmus and Stupefy at Jake and watching the Hufflepuff draw his wand up just in time to shield himself. 

“You’re really good at this!” Jake said, eyes wide with what Heeseung assumed was fear. “Do you duel often?”

“Not really,” he answered. “I just have good aim.”

“Quidditch.” He made the connection quickly with a far too happy look on his face. “I’ve seen you fly. You’re really good.”

Quit playing nice! Heeseung was yelling at him in his head. It was proving quite difficult to viciously attack the Hufflepuff while receiving compliments in return.

“Yeah?” Heeseung gritted his teeth. “Do you watch Y/N—Stupefy!—play?”

“Y/N?” Jake looked confused for a moment, but his smile never faltered. “Yeah, of course! I always support Hufflepuff.”

Oh, right. They were in the same house. Logically, this was where Heeseung should’ve backed off, but jealousy seized him by the throat and made his head go funny.

He sent another streak of orange light flying in Jake’s direction, aiming right for his perfect hair. Jake deflected it. 

“Anyway,” Jake continued as he started to get the hang of performing wandless magic, “you guys are playing against Gryffindor next, right? I really think Slytherin’s gonna win. I mean, you guys have such a strong team, and…” 

As he kept droning on about how great the Slytherin Quidditch team was, Heeseung couldn't help but feel a bit confused. He was here to intimidate the Hufflepuff, but now he felt like he was at some sort of meet and greet. Why was Jake so bent on praising the Slytherin team? Heeseung assumed that the whole incentive for Quidditch games was for house pride, but Jake seemed to be taking it way too seriously. 

Come to think of it, Heeseung did find it strange that Jake had that defamatory newspaper clipping of Heeseung injured on the ground. Why would he specifically go looking for an article of the Slytherin team’s victory?

Heeseung lowered his wand when he heard a yelp to his right. Hong Seunghan had his wand raised over his head, a nearly-invisible shield circling his body that Heeseung could vaguely make out under the lamp light. 

“Watch it! This isn’t target practice, Heeseung!” Seunghan cried, looking absolutely distressed as he hastily adjusted his yellow-trimmed robes.

Heeseung’s Stunning Spell would’ve hit Seunghan if he hadn’t reacted in time. On one hand, he felt bad; on the other hand, he really thought Seunghan should’ve been patting himself on the back for his quick reaction time instead.

“My bad,” Heeseung mumbled. So much for his so-called good aim.

“And you,” Seunghan said—to Jake, this time, “stop distracting him with all your Quidditch talk!” 

Yeah, you tell him, Seunghan, thought Heeseung, who actually quite enjoyed talking about Quidditch.

To his surprise, Jake’s face started to flush pink. “I-I’m not trying to distract him or anything… I was just making conversation.” 

Seunghan threw him a lazy smirk before turning back to Heeseung and rolling his eyes playfully. “Put him out of his misery and set him up with your friend, will you?” 

“What?” Heeseung couldn’t stop himself from fuming at Seunghan’s words. The fire in his chest ignited once more, blazing with the heat of a thousand suns. 

Sungchan, who had been waiting patiently to attack Seunghan, rubbed the back of his neck. “Er—can we get back to—”

“Seunghan, drop it already,” Jake pleaded, his voice growing smaller and smaller. “It’s not happening.”

Seunghan shrugged and returned to blocking Sungchan’s attacks. The two of them seemed to be having fun with the exercise, at least. Heeseung and Jake were a disaster; Heeseung was far too vexed to think straight, and Jake was as bashful as a first year.

“You can ask her yourself, you know,” Heeseung said coldly, shooting a jet of red light in Jake’s direction. Jake barely managed to cast his shield in time to deflect Heeseung’s spell.

“I can’t,” Jake replied, all meek and timid again, which made Heeseung’s blood boil. 

He saw how comfortable Jake was around you, so why was he acting like this now? He was comfortable enough to walk up to you while you were with another guy; he was comfortable enough to keep eye contact while you smiled so radiantly at him; and he was comfortable enough to ask you to go to Hogsmede with him, so why was this such a big deal? 

Heeseung felt sick to his stomach. He wanted this class to be over so that he could go to his dormitory and wallow in his miserable state.

Jake sighed wistfully. “She probably has no idea I even exist.”

Heeseung blanked. 

He tossed around Jake’s words in his head a couple of times, trying to make sense of what he was saying. Heeseung perfectly understood being shy around a crush, but wasn’t this a bit much? From what he had observed, you most definitely knew of Jake’s existence.

Still confused, Heeseung replied, “I’m pretty sure she does.”

“Really?” Jake’s voice was louder, more hopeful. “She does? I mean, I guess she has to know I exist since we’re in the same class and all, but has she… has she ever mentioned me?”

Heeseung wondered if he should just stun Jake and leave class early.

Deciding against it for the sake of not receiving another week of detention, he answered, “Well, yeah, a couple of times.”

“Really? What did she say?”

“Uh…” Heeseung scratched his head as he tried to remember. “Something about telling you how I set off Dungbombs in Filch’s office.”

It was Jake’s turn to look confused. 

“That was Y/N,” he said.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Wait, did you think I was talking about Y/N this whole time?”

Heeseung had to duck this time when his spell rebounded off of Jake’s shield and went flying in his direction. He stood up straight again, this time with his eyebrows furrowed and his ears bright red from realizing that he was about to embarrass himself yet again. 

“You’re not?” he asked.

“No!”

“Then who are you talking about?” 

“M-Minjeong,” Jake stammered out. “Kim Minjeong.”

Heeseung stared at him. For a moment, he wasn’t even sure if this was reality; this could have all been some hyper-realistic dream—one of those absurd ones that hardly made sense but left him gasping for air when he woke up. 

But Heeseung’s feet were planted firmly on the ground and he had all ten of his fingers, so this couldn’t be a dream. Yet, when he drew in a shuddering breath, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was very wrong about this whole thing. Had he really been wrong about Jake Sim this entire time?

Also Minjeong? When he was friends with you? Heeseung wasn’t one to judge people’s tastes, but he’d swim oceans for you yet hardly cross a puddle for Minjeong. (Perhaps that was just because he resented the Slytherin girl for always making fun of his Quidditch screw-ups.)

So that was why Jake had been overly-invested in the Slytherin team. He wasn’t a Quidditch-fanatic whose house pride flew out the window; he was just harboring a crush this whole time! Heeseung was so relieved that the inferno in his chest had quelled. 

In fact, he was so relieved that he let out a shaky laugh without having half the mind to hold it in. Jake must have thought Heeseung was making fun of his crush, but Heeseung couldn’t help but laugh and laugh about how pathetic he had been this whole time. He had lost sleep over Jake Sim, only for him to like someone completely different. 

How ridiculous.

Heeseung crossed the distance between them and patted him firmly on the back, taking the Hufflepuff by surprise. “Minjeong, huh? I’ll introduce you.”

Jake’s eyes shone. “You will?”

“Of course I will. Now, tell me,” Heeseung started, his voice taking on a serious edge as he slung an arm around Jake’s shoulders, “where did you get your robes?”

It was such a lovely day outside; the grass was greener, the skies were bluer, and there wasn’t a single cloud in sight—perfect weather to fly. Heeseung could even hear the birds singing as he strode down the hallway, trying very, very hard to keep himself from skipping. 

He wasn’t even trying to eavesdrop, but he picked up on the conversation a couple of fifth years were having nearby.

"—heard they both had to go to the infirmary!” one of them whispered to the other. “It was that bad!”

“Over a silly game?” The other girl, who Heeseung named Girl Two in his head, scoffed. “I’ll never understand Quidditch.”

Girl One shook her head. “Not over the game. It was over Lee Heeseung.”

Heeseung, who was slowly realizing that he was the Lee Heeseung they were gossiping about, suddenly felt very engaged in this conversation that he wasn’t part of. His guilty pleasure happened to be listening in on all of the scandalous happenings at Hogwarts. For him to be indirectly involved was even more exciting.

“Lee Heeseung?” Girl Two frowned. “Why would Y/N pick a fight over Lee Heeseung?”

He nearly tripped over his own feet. Heeseung had to scurry behind a pillar before anyone saw him blushing like a madman, but now he was worried about how strange it looked for him to be spying on a couple of fifth years from behind a pillar. 

Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. You fought someone? And you were in the infirmary? His sick happiness was quickly replaced with dreadful worry. 

(But he also wasn’t too worried; you could clearly handle your own.)

“No clue,” Girl One said. “I suppose they’re dating.”

Heeseung couldn’t stop the giggle from escaping his lips. He clamped a hand over his mouth as soon as it slipped out, and Girl One and Girl Two looked around suspiciously. 

“Who was that?” Girl Two asked sharply. 

“Must be that Ravenclaw girl,” Girl One replied bitterly, taking her wand out of her robes.

Heeseung had no idea who ‘that Ravenclaw girl’ was referring to, but he knew that he was no longer safe in their vicinity. After casting a Disillusionment Charm on himself, he fled the scene immediately, only removing the charm once he was safely down the hall. 

He hadn’t even realized his heart was racing faster than it ever had in his life until he found himself sprinting in the direction of the infirmary. 

“Mr. Lee, no running in the halls!” Professor Longbottom cried over his shoulder, gripping the pot of a Mandrake tightly. “That’ll be five points from—oh, forget it.”

Madam Pomfrey looked unsurprised to see Heeseung walking in, all sweaty and panting. She simply pointed in the direction of where your bed was and walked off to tend to some second year who, judging by the twigs in his hair, decided to test his luck with the Whomping Willow.

You were sulking in bed, turned on your side so that your back was facing Heeseung. It looked like you were mostly unscathed, but when Heeseung rounded the corner of your bed, all he could see was red when he noticed the cut on your lip and gash on your cheek. 

“Heeseung!” you gasped, sitting up straight so that you could swing your legs off the bed. “How’d you know—”

“Who did this?” he asked angrily, drawing out his wand and looking around the infirmary. He remembered Girl One saying that both parties were sent to the infirmary, so they must have still been around. “Who hurt you?”

“It’s not that bad, I just—”

“Not that bad?” he repeated louder. “You’re hurt!”

“It’s not that bad,” you said again, quieter. You held onto Heeseung’s bicep with gentle hands, which happened to immediately calm him down. “Sit.”

Heeseung sighed and sat down on the edge of your bed. He had felt remarkably happier after finding out that Jake did not, in fact, have a thing for you, but now he was riled up again. He wondered what you thought about Jake, but then Heeseung wondered why you were picking fights over him.

“It was the Seeker from the Gryffindor team,” you told him in an oddly calm voice, although he couldn’t help but notice how you were fiddling with your fingers too much. “She was talking down on you during class, so I picked an argument with her after class. That’s how I got these.” You pointed at the cuts on your lower lip and cheek. 

“But you don’t need to worry about her; she’s worse off than I am. I got her with a knee-reversal hex,” you said with a sheepish grin. “Let’s see how she flies after this.”

Heeseung stared at you. “You’re insane.”

“I believe the words you’re looking for are thank—”

“I love you.”

He believed he said it very, very softly, but his words echoed in his head so loudly that Heeseung couldn’t be completely sure that he hadn’t yelled it for the infirmary to hear. If it weren’t for the second year complaining loudly about how unsafe it was to have a murderous tree on school grounds, then Heeseung was sure the room would have been dead silent following his confession. 

You didn’t move. The worst was happening right now; Heeseung had boldly blurted out his feelings just for you to not answer him and soon hate him for the rest of your life. It was fine. You two would graduate soon. He would no longer have to see you again, even though the smell of lavender would be a constant reminder of his first love and first heartbreak. He would die alone now. Oh, and he’d have to tell his parents with deep regret that they would not have grandchildren. 

“Heeseung,” you whispered, and your lips started framing soundless words that you couldn’t get out.

The cat was out of the bag, so all Heeseung could do was stand up and own up to his words.

“You were right,” he said. “My Amortentia did smell like lavender—like you.”

He grabbed the rag on the table next to your bed, soaking it in water and wringing it out. Normally, Heeseung would have been shaking like a leaf, but he was oddly calm as he delicately held your chin, tilting your head to the side enough to get a good look at you. 

“I must’ve fallen in love with you years ago—maybe even from the first time you tripped me at the Sorting Hat Ceremony,” he said softly as he dabbed at your fresh cut, and although your eyes were wide and glossy, you hardly even flinched. Heeseung was pretty sure he had never even admitted what he said out loud to himself. When he was done and set the rag aside, he said, “So… glad I got that out before I kept it to myself for the rest of my life. I’ll get going now and hopefully not kill myself on the way.”

He hurried past Madam Pomfrey, making eye contact with no one except the Gryffindor Seeker, whose knees were bent at an awkward angle. She leered at him, to which Heeseung paid no attention because he had far bigger things to worry about, like the fact that his life was over.

Before he got all the way down the hall, though, he heard footsteps getting louder and louder. When he turned to see you speeding after him, Heeseung panicked and started running himself. 

“Why are you running?!” you cried.

“Why are you chasing me?!” he yelled back. 

“Stop running! Get over here, Lee Heeseung!”

“No!” He was very embarrassed to note that his voice did indeed crack. “I’m scared!”

“Colloshoo!” 

It was like he had rammed right into a wall. Heeseung felt like his shoes were glued to the floor, and, with a grunt, he ended up falling forward and landing on his face when they wouldn’t budge. If only you had waited to hex him after he reached the grassy outdoors instead of the hard, stone flooring of the breezeway. 

“You hexed me!” He turned to look at you, exasperated. “How could you hex me after hexing someone for me?!”

“Now stay there.”

“No.” Stubborn, Heeseung started walking ahead—right down to the Great Lake so that he could wallow in embarrassment in that particularly nice patch of grass. He abandoned his shoes and trudged ahead in his socks. “And don’t follow me!”

“Heeseung,” you warned. 

He groaned and turned on you just before he was looking forward to sitting down on the grass, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “You—you’re terrible luck, you know that? Sheer bad luck. You know I’ve lived eleven years of my life perfectly fine until you showed up? Suddenly, everything goes wrong when I’m around you! And it’s not just missing the Hogwarts Express or blowing up a potion, it’s everything else!”

You calmly listened to him as he continued in his wild craze, “I can hardly breathe when I’m around you! I can’t even look at you for too long, or else I’ll probably combust. You make it so impossible for me to stay away from you, even though the very thing I need for the sake of my sanity is to stay away from you!”

“Are you done now?” you asked calmly, not quite breathing as hard as he was, but your chest was still rising and falling as if you were winded from running. 

“Yes,” he said, “so I’ll go drown myself in the—”

Before he could finish the rest of his sentence, you grabbed Heeseung by the front of his robes and pulled him down to kiss him senseless. He thought he had been hit with a Stunning Spell from how still he was, but when he realized that this was real life and you were indeed kissing him, his hand made its way to cradle your jaw as he kissed you back with searing passion.

He was ashamed to say that he had dreamt about this scenario many times, charted all of his next moves in great detail, and fantasized about doing much more than he’d like to admit. Heeseung felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest, but he kept his lips pressed to yours like it was the only thing keeping him tethered to reality. 

This was everything and more than he ever expected. He was certain he could never grow tired of the taste of your lips, and he was honestly scolding himself for not having done this sooner. 

Your arms naturally found their way around his neck, and Heeseung took that as his cue to drop his to your waist. Still locked in a tight embrace, you pulled away to catch your breath, leaving Heeseung to chase after your lips.

“—Great Lake,” he finished his sentence in a breath, “and hopefully get eaten by the Giant Squid—”

“Oh, shut up,” you cut him off to kiss him again. 

Heeseung had no further objections. He supposed this meant that he had the shiny new title of being your boyfriend, which he considered a higher honor than Quidditch Captain. This was saying a lot because Quidditch Captains got to use the really nice bathrooms.

Your kiss was slower this time, as if you both realized you had all the time in the world. And when you both finally broke apart, Heeseung let his fingers trace the outline of your lips to commit its shape to memory. 

This time when you smiled, it was far brighter than any Patronus Charm he had ever seen.

“I love you, too,” you told him with a shy grin. “Always have.” 

“Seriously?”

“Since our first year. Tripping you was by accident, of course. I just thought you were cute.” 

Heeseung was pretty sure the average wizard's heart couldn’t handle this overload of emotions. In a few seconds, he was sure he would need to be admitted to the infirmary himself. 

Then, you punched his shoulder. Hard.

“If you didn’t Disapparate on the spot back in Hogsmede, then maybe I could've told you sooner!” 

“It’s not like I wanted to Apparate away, but… but you put me on the spot!” he exclaimed. Heeseung let his shoulders sag. “Either way, I thought you liked Jake.”

“Jake?” You looked confused before you burst into laughter. “What made you think I liked Jake? He’s so clearly into Minjeong!”

It seemed to be that everyone thought the notion of Jake and you liking each other was absolutely ridiculous. If it wasn’t too late, Heeseung was up for pitching himself in the depths of the Great Lake.

Girl One and Girl Two would surely get a kick out of this. 

“Okay, I get it. I’m stupid,” he said, but you wouldn't stop laughing. Heeseung sighed heavily as you wiped tears from the corners of your eyes. “Alright, that’s it, you’re so getting it.”

This time, he grabbed hold of your face (gently, of course, because he didn't want to add pressure to your gash), and he peppered kisses all over your face. You scrunched up your nose, giggling as Heeseung kissed your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, and then finally your lips. 

And this—this moment he had been anticipating for seven years—was loads better than letting the Giant Squid eat him.

AUTHOR'S NOTE ▸ the next morning, heeseung wakes up and basks in the afterglow of finally confessing to the girl of his dreams!! jay hands him the paper during breakfast and a picture of his shoes glued to the floor is on the front cover. anyways i hope you liked this fic!! so fun to write because i'm deep in a harry potter phase (how did this happen??) but happy valentine's day & thank you for reading &lt;3

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never knew i needed this 🫠😭💗

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ahahahhahahahha heyyyy 🤭🫠💗💗

they look so so so good plss😭🙏🙏

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so so so cute 😭🫶

omg the mention of camping in your new heejake fic has me thinking of scenarios in a TENT why am i blushing gn

LOST TIME

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader (ex beomgyu x reader mentioned)

SUMMARY ➩ you and your bestfriends, growing up together since you were babies, had a tradition of going camping together every summer. this year you get paired up to share a tent with the boy you’ve been in love with since elementary.

WC ➩ 7.7k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ honestly this was meant to just be a straight up PWP work due to the request but i got way too into the friendship dynamics and backstory lol.. idk if any other writers relate but sometimes smut just doesn’t feel like it fits in stories but i hope you still like this and maybe ill write something more nsfw later on with this prompt (not proofread and written at like 6am like always lol)

It wasn’t like camping was something you absolutely hated. In fact, for the first 20 years of your life it had been the single thing you looked forward to most throughout the busy year.

At some point it had developed into a promised tradition, an accidental hobby that you and your friend’s coincidentally carried on all throughout your shared childhood and high school.

Your parents had all grown up together too and lived on the same street once they were old enough to start their own families, keeping their tight knit connections and extending it to their partners and children later on in life. You grew up with a community because of this, your neighbors being people you’d spent your entire life around as they were basically family now.

It wasn’t a surprise to any of your parents and their friends families when they all also had kids around the same time, the biggest gap between babies being just over 4 years.

This was how your best friends came to be, as smooth and naturally as gaining a sibling or meeting a soulmate. You grew up surrounded with the same kids, going to the same school and spending holidays together at one of the houses on the shared culdesac.

The camping tradition was started before you even could register what was happening, photos of your parents lined up in bathing suits, holding different sized babies down near the lake shore with bright smiles and sunburns were your only proof that you’d been there as long as you have. As you got older and could enjoy the activities more, it became your favorite thing to do.

Your parents all got older right alongside you and they eventually stopped coming with, knowing you and the other kids would have fun out there while also being safe and smart.

So you continued on like that, all pitching up tents for the weekend and spending your time relaxing on tubes in the river or talking around the campfire, letting off the stress the year had brought you as you finished up high school and entered different colleges.

So it was slightly out of character that you were groaning as you packed your suitcase, complaining to Sunoo on the other side of the phone as he carried out the same action a few houses down.

“It’s just terrible timing.” Your voice was louder than normal as you disappeared into your closet in search of something warm for the colder temperatures at night. “Beomgyu and I are barely even broken up and I’m so behind on class work I could die.”

“Well you know it’s the same time every year Y/N, it’s not like it was sprung on you. Plus Beomgyu broke up with you last fall. I’d say you’re officially over by now.” Sunoo’s voice was barely audible from back in your bedroom but you still sighed and leaned your head onto your dressed with a thud.

He was always brutally honest with you considering he’d known you since you were infants, being the two closest in age out of the rest of you. When you first started school most of the teachers had assumed you were twins, wearing matching clothes and stuck at the hip everywhere you went.

You’d ditched The Shining like fashion now that you were adults but you still were the closest to him out of everybody, having applied to the same college together.

“Plus we haven’t seen the others since the holidays. This is the longest we’ve been apart, aren’t you excited?” His voice was picking up a hopeful tone as he tried to cheer you up and change your mood around.

You sighed softly again and walked back to your bedroom, grabbing your phone from the bed and holding it to your ear so you could hear him better. Leaning forward to look out your window across the small chunk of yard that separated you from your neighbor, you could see him sitting in his chair with a big smile on his face.

“You’ll be sick of them in an hour.” You remarked and knocked on the window, his head picking up to look over at you.

“I’m always sick of them.” He was rolling his eyes and you watched his mouth move in silence as the phone audio lagged behind a few seconds. “That’s the best part.”

You smiled at that and nodded although he wasn’t looking at you anymore, turning back to his bag. You did miss your other friends, almost an impossible amount.

You spent a lot of nights in your dorm room thinking about them and how horrible it was to be apart, replaying the goodbyes you all gave each other at the airport over and over in your mind as you tried to remain hopeful for the next time you could reunite. Nothing could prepare you for how difficult it was to separate for them, your parents all watching you with sad smiles in the background as you cried and hugged each other.

Coming home for Christmas felt like you’d gained a piece of your heart back, spending the entire break inseparable and having more fun than you possibly could with the more casual friends you’d met in school.

Your parents hadn’t nagged you for not being home a lot or felt sad that you all rather be together than with them for Christmas Eve and morning, understanding more than anybody else what it felt like to have such friendships.

“Aren’t you excited to see Heeseung?” Sunoo’s voice cut into your happy daydreams and the smile fell from your face at his teasing tone, stiffening slightly as he glanced at you from his room again, an eyebrow raised in amusement at your reaction.

“I’m excited to see everybody.” You said stiffly and he let out a small laugh at your sudden serious tone, knowing you had caught on to what he was implying. “Sunoo, don’t make it weird.”

“I’m not.” He gasped like it was an offensive thing to suggest, standing and approaching the window so you could see him better as he continued to tease you. “I just think it might be interesting considering this is the first time you’ve seen your childhood lover since being single again.”

“Do not call him that.” You were groaning and flopping back on your bed to which he let out another amused laugh.

You loved all of your friends equally, each one of them bringing a different set of pros to your life and helping to shape your personality as you grew up and molded into the person you were now. They were your family, brothers you never had and they felt the same way about you, resulting in no one ever dating within the group or causing awkward moments that could potentially upset the harmonious balance.

Lee Heeseung was the exception.

Despite Sunoo’s ridiculous phrasing he had never been your lover, not even remotely coming close to it. In fact things were almost more platonic with him than anybody else, never hugging you for too long or jokingly flirting to try and get on your nerves.

You weren’t exactly sure what it was about Heeseung that you liked so much. You’d seen him grow up the same as the other boys and while their changes annoyed you, scrunching your nose at classic boyish humor or lack of hygiene as they all shot up in height and their voices started cracking, Heeseung was the most beautiful person you’d ever met in your entire life.

He’d been born first out of all the babies but he never took advantage of being the eldest, always kind and generous as he drove everybody around and asked for group opinions instead of just doing whatever he wanted out of seniority.

He was funny in a way you didn’t know boys could be funny, not even meaning to make you laugh sometimes and just coincidentally being a beacon of light and humor that left all of you bending over trying to catch your breath at the dinner table. You liked this about him but you liked the small proud smile he’d have after everytime even more.

It certainly didn’t help that he was handsome in an unreal way. He had seemingly barely dipped a toe in the awkward phase you all went through before he was shooting up in height and his features were sharpening, solidifying into somebody who could’ve been intimidating if he wasn’t always smiling and goofing around.

But Heeseung was never your lover and he never would be considering your crush for him, that you had mistakenly spilled to Sunoo at some point during your senior year of high school, was completely dead and gone as far as you were concerned.

You’d even gotten a boyfriend to prove this to yourself, meeting a sophomore on your first day of college and immediately being taken by his style and humor. He reminded you of your friends back home as much as somebody could manage and he helped you adjust to being away from everyone outside of Sunoo. You’d even brought him back home with you last thanksgiving, letting him meet your friends before he abruptly dumped you on your drive back to the airport.

When you’d gotten out of the car with swollen eyes and red cheeks, your friends who had been waiting in the lobby to say the round of goodbyes had immediately crowded around you in worry.

Heeseung was standing back a bit and you tried not to make eye contact with him, humiliated as you murmured to them that Beomgyu had just broken up with you only a few minutes ago.

Jay was furious and attempting to go and confront the boy who was checking your bags in with security but Jungwon was quickly reminding him that you had to spend the next 4 hours sat right beside him on the cramped plane and they didn’t need to make the silence anymore uncomfortable than it already was going to be.

“I can drive you back.” Heeseung’s soft voice was coming from behind the bickering pair and you glanced up at him with wide teary eyes, not liking the pitiful gaze he was peering down at you with.

You felt sick at his suggestion as your heart skipped a few beats, the harsh reminder of how kind and generous he was immediately followed by the realization that no matter how hard your tried or how long of a relationship you had, he’d still make your stomach light up with butterflies. You turned down his offer and said your goodbyes with more tears than usual, promising to see them soon.

Heeseung hadn’t come to Christmas for the first time in your lives and as much fun as you had seeing each other again, the balance was always off whenever one of you weren’t present. He’d claimed he was busy with work and that he’d tried to get time off but he simply couldn’t, a message in the group chat about how he couldn’t wait to go camping being the last time you’d heard from him.

By the time Sunoo spoke again you could see him throwing his backpack over his shoulder and wheeling his suitcase out the door. “This could be the year you know. You should make a move.”

“Don’t be stupid.” You shook your head although he couldn’t see you anymore. “There is no move to be made, we’re bestfriends.”

“That’s because you- Hi Mrs L/N.” You could hear your front door open both through the phone speaker and your own ears. “Are too pussy to do anything about it.”

He whispered the last part so your mom wouldn’t hear and you laughed at the way he stopped mid insult to greet her with an affectionate tone. You hung up the phone and laid flat on your back as you waited for him to climb the stairs to your room.

He was pushing the door open only seconds later and he paused in the doorway when he saw you pathetically sprawled out in your own self pity, sighing softly before climbing on the bed besides your head and petting your hair gently as he kissed his teeth.

“Poor thing. In love with the village idiot.” He was shaking his head and you shoved his hand off of you as he let out a laugh, shielding himself from your attacks. You were sitting up to push him again when three long honks were ringing from outside, catching both of your attention.

You were off the bed and grabbing your bags before you could say another word, a childlike excitement washing over you as you giddily ran down the stairs and gave your mom a rushed kiss goodbye as she complained about the fact Jay had honked and didn’t come in to say hello.

By the time you got outside the other boys were already out of the car, meeting you halfway in laughed filled hugs and you and Sunoo ran to embrace them.

“Oh my god, when did you get so tall?” You were pulling away from Riki in exclamation as you held his arms and shook his frame slightly, scanning him all the way up to his face that was now having to look down at you. “What are they feeding you over there?”

“Straight protein.” Jake was answering before the youngest could, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and he also admired Riki’s growth spurt, although slightly envious considering he hadn’t grown much since high school.

“Protein won’t make you grow idiot.” Sunghoon was leaning against the van with a judging expression as he looked at his friend and roommate, him and Jake going to the same school about an hour away.

You’d stayed in pairs or groups for the most part since moving out. Sunoo and you, Jake and Sunghoon and then Jay, Jungwon and Riki had all moved in together at the best school in the state neighboring yours.

Heeseung was the only one who hadn’t applied alongside any of you despite the belief you all were going to try and stay together as much as possible while still supporting your individual dreams and wants. He had applied to all the same schools as you all did, getting accepted into every single one. Yet when it came down to choosing, he moved the furthest away on his own.

When he had sat you all down in Jungwon’s basement to announce this you remember feeling betrayed. Hurt at him leaving and even more upset that he hadn’t picked the school you were attending considering that was the option he seemed to be leaning towards according to what he told you

You can recall the others cheering in celebration at the fact he’d gotten into an extremely good college despite the sadness that settled in on everyone’s faces when they realized what that meant. You caught his eye at some point during that exchange and he flinched away, not wanting to look at you the same way you did to him at the airport.

Not similarly to the way he was looking at you now, rounding the front of the van as he got out of the passenger seat and made his way to where you were all gathered.

You tensed up for a moment when you first saw him and Riki noticed, following your gaze over his shoulder as he turned around and smiled once he saw what you were looking at, walking over to Heeseung and dragging him towards you with a pat on the back.

“Hey.” He was breathing out as he looked down at you and you took a second to take in his appearance.

It hadn’t been that long since you’d seen him but somehow he looked different, or maybe he just felt different considering how much broader his shoulders were and how much more sure of himself he seemed. You weren’t exactly sure what it was about him that was striking you as new but you were momentarily stunned as you took him in.

Sunoo was nudging you with him elbow suddenly and you realized you’d been completely zoned out checking Heeseung out as you ignored his greeting. “Hi Hee.”

He smiled down at you softly but didn’t say anything else, just standing there for a second before Jay was smacking the hood of the old van and announcing you had to hit the road or else you’d miss the site check in time. You gave him a quick glance before moving to carry your bags into the trunk, stopping when big hands were overlapping yours on the handle.

“Let me do it.” You looked up from under your eyelashes to see Heeseung bending over slightly as he gathered your stuff for you.

You were too stunned to say anything and he smiled again, fuller this time as he turned with your stuff and started to load it up. Sunoo was chuckling from beside you and you whipped your head to the side to shoot him a glare, a silent warning for him to be quiet and not draw attention to the blush on your face or the fact your stomach was lighting up with the same familiar feeling it always did whenever you were around the oldest boy.

The ride was uneventful for the most part, three hours passing as the boys in front of you caught up and told childish jokes, at one point having a competition to see who could catch the most goldfish in their mouth before they were gagging.

Heeseung hadn’t joined in with them from his seat in front of you but you could see his cheeks rising with a smile every time Sunoo squeaked out a laugh or Riki started to tease Jay who was driving. You and Sunghoon were in the back, playing games on his phone as you passed it back and forth and tried to ignore the eyes you could feel looking back at you every once in a while.

You were all just starting to reach your boredom limit and the car was filling with groans of pain as you stretched your legs out onto others and complained about your back pain, when you finally were pulling up to the familiar area.

As you shuffled out of the van, you took a deep breath and squeezed your eyes shut. It was rare to find this type of visual anywhere you were used to, the large trees surrounding the clear lake with small mountains out in the distance.

The air felt clear and light in your lungs and the temperature was perfect, just hot enough that you could go swimming still but also bundle into a sweater to avoid getting an overwhelming amount of bug bites.

You helped unload the trunk with the others, setting up the grills and coolers in a small area a few feet away from the main camp site. It was empty now, a small lot of perfectly mowed grass but you’d seen the process enough times to know with only a little bit of work, it could turn into a comfortable home for you to spend the weekend. Jake helped you moved some of the heavier stuff, giggling when he almost tripped over a branch walking backwards.

“Here comes the worst part.” He was leaning over to whisper to you as you walked back to camp.

Jay was sitting on the picnic table the campsite offered to people who stayed multiple nights, the hat he had been wearing in his hands as Sunoo ripped up little pieces of paper next to him.

Jake was right in the sense that this was the most meticulous part of the weekend but you never completely minded it. Your names would all be written on a piece of paper and put into the hat, then you’d draw two at a time and be given your tent roommate for the trip. Sunghoon and Jake often got paired and he’s complain the entire time, citing him as a blanket hog.

For 90% of the years you’d done this tradition you’d gotten Sunoo, eventually you imagined it had something to do with the fact he was the one who always got to call out the names being pulled.

Nobody ever called him out for it despite the way they’d roll their eyes as he put on a show of surprise, gasping and covering his mouth in shock and you laughed and cheered him on. So you weren’t thinking too much about the mischievous look on his face, figuring he was just planning out how his performance was going to go this time around.

“Okay first up to bat.” Jay was calling out in a serious tone, shuffling the slips around now that they were all accounted for.

“Jake.” Sunoo was announcing as he pulled the first one out, unfolding it and showcasing it slowly to your eager eyes. Jake nudged your side with an excited look on his face, crossing his fingers and squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation. “And…. Sunghoon!”

“Oh no fucking way.” The boy next to you was groaning loudly as he dropped to his knees dramatically, holding his head and trying to block out the sounds of Sunghoon laughing and cheering as he mocked him.

You laughed with him, looking at Sunoo who winked at you and bunched the papers up in his hands. You bent down to wrap your arms under Jake’s arms, tugging him back up to a standing position as he dramatically leaned against you.

Sunghoon was excitedly skipping over to the two of you, face lit up with pleasure at the sound of his friends complaints. He helped you hold up Jake who had gone completely limp as he feigned death. “Hurry up, he’s heavy.”

“Alright next up is…” Sunoo paused dramatically like he was waiting for a drum roll, sighing and muttering how you guys weren’t any fun when nobody humored him. “Jungwon and Sunoo.”

Jungwon let out a cheer and a swift clap, although not moving from where he was lounging in a camping chair beside the picnic table. Sunoo gave you another look, the same mischievous grin on his face that he had before, although now it made your blood run cold as you quickly realized what he was attempting to do.

“Riki and Jay.” You were proven right as the third pair was announced and you stiffened up completely in shock and betrayal, not even paying attention to the two boys and they agreed they were going to get the best and biggest tent since Riki was the tallest.

“Looks like it’s me and you.” To make your situation worse, Heeseung’s low voice was suddenly hitting your ear and you turned to glance at him.

He looked slightly awkward, not nearly as awkward as you were feeling, and you felt a wave a guilt at the fact he had most likely saw your upset reaction. You hoped he just figured it was because you liked to be close with Sunoo, although right now you were considering drowning him in the lake, and didn’t think it had anything to do with him.

“Looks like it.” You gave him a tensed smile knowing it absolutely everything to do with him.

——

The day was so fun you were almost able to forget your unfortunate sleeping situation. Everybody had gone down to the lake the second the tents were properly set up and secured into the ground, greeting familiar campers who lived on site full time during the summers and splashing each other aggressively until somebody was screaming and blowing water out of their nose.

It exhausted you fast and you were back at the camp only a few hours later so you could conserve your energy, watching Jay and thanking him as he grilled enough meat for all of you to eat multiple servings.

Now the sun had set and your first night was coming to an end in the most peaceful way possible, listening to your best friends have low voiced talks around a crackling campfire. You weren’t saying much but you liked to hear them tell stories about their months apart from you and drink in their voices that you had missed so dearly.

“Shit just changes in college.” Riki was mumbling and you watched him with tired eyes, nodding your head as he spoke about how he’s felt slightly out of place now that he was away from home.

“That’s because everybody is either having sex or trying to.” Jake was remarking from beside you and you turned to glare at him.

He was playing with the dangling netted cup holder of your foldable chair and you slapped his hand away at his statement, causing him to chuckle and nudge you with his foot as he shrugged. “Hey, it’s true.”

“Not for everybody.” Sunghoon was shaking his head and giving him the same grossed out look you were. He was sat across from you and he glanced at you from behind the fire with a nod of agreement. “Some of us have better stuff to do than go to parties every weekend and dick off.”

Jake was scoffing in disbelief and you watched Sunghoon shoot him a pointed look like he was telling him to keep quiet, your mouth dropping into a surprised laugh at the fact he had tried to lie and pretend to agree with you.

“Don’t let her fool you, she complains about her virginity every other day.” Sunoo was casually saying as he took a sip of his drink, his head tilting back to finish it and missing the reaction from the group.

It had fallen completely silent and you stiffened up awkwardly in your chair, a wave of embarrassment washing over you at your friends blunt phrasing. He had always been known to tell the truth about anything and everything but he seemed to realize this was too far, even for him, putting his cup down slowly and offering you an apologetic grimace.

“What?” Jake was sitting up in his chair and turning to fully face you, leaning forward and tugging on your sleeve with an urgent look on his face. “You’ve never had sex?”

“Dude you were with Beomgyu for like 3 years.” Jungwon was muttering from a few spots over and you glared in his direction at the mention of your ex boyfriend.

“Eight months.” The voice from the other seat beside you was speaking for the first time in a while and you turned your gaze slowly to see Heeseung stiff in his chair, staring into the fire as he played with his empty cup absentmindedly. You wondered if he even realized he had said something, let alone suddenly announced the exact amount of time you’d been in a relationship.

“Regardless dude, weren’t you guys like super serious?” Riki was adding on and you looked over to him, happy no one else had realized how weird what Heeseung had said was.

Despite how open you all were with each other, it was rare the conversation about sex lives ever extended over to you. As much as you didn’t really mind the idea of talking to them about your experiences, or lack there of, you also weren’t totally oppose to them never asking and you never telling.

You would’ve laughed at the fact they all looked personally offended you hadn’t gotten laid, maybe even joined in on the banter, if it wasn’t for the boy next to you and how embarrassing it was for him to be hearing it all. As much as you wished you thought of Heeseung the same as the other boys, you didn’t and this proved it.

“It’s not a big deal guys… he never tried or anything. I didn’t think much about it.” You were flushed bright red, thankfully hidden underneath the dark night, and shaking your head as you tried to feign casualness.

“Not a big deal?” Jake was laughing in disbelief and leaning forward more so you’d fully understand the sincerity in his words. “He was with YOU for almost a year and never made a move? He’s crazy.”

You were turning to glare at him at his wording and he leaned back a few inches, keeping a hand on your chair.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You groaned as you realized this wasn’t something they were going to just let go and move on from, being presented with the most interesting conversation point of the night.

“You’re hot.” He said it like it was something obvious and clear and you faltered in shock, mouth parting and you leaned forward to smack him on the shoulder. He winced and flinched away from you with an upset whine. “I’m just saying dude! We all think it.”

You turned away from him to scan the rest of the circle with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows, watching the other boys awkwardly avoid your gaze or just outwardly nod their heads in agreement with Jake. (Sunghoon and Jay.)

You weren’t stupid and you knew the boys were attractive, each of them fit and handsome constantly drawing attention all throughout high school, subjecting you to glares from girls in the hallways and boys trying to befriend you in an attempt to get closer to them.

Still, you’d never considered the fact that they thought about you in a similar way. You never thought too deeply into your own appearance at all, both positively and negatively but you figured the idea would never cross their minds considering they strictly treated you as a close friend or even a sibling at times, minus Jake and his meaningless flirting.

For some reason your gaze fell to Heeseung, who was still completely stiff beside you. He hadn’t been looking at you before but now he was and you faltered slightly at the hard expression on his face, eyes low with something you couldn’t make out in the dark.

“Shut up Jake, don’t be so stupid.” You were turning away from him quickly as you muttered the words and they dropped it quickly the second they realized you were actually uncomfortable and not just messing around.

The conversation moved on for now but you imagined they’d bring it back up at some point during the weekend. You felt a bit better now that the attention was mostly off of you, Jake’s hand resting on your arm as he played with your sleeve softly. You figured he must be feeling guilty for making such a big deal out of it so you ignored him, happily accepting the invitation to go to bed when Jungwon was standing with a yawn.

The awkwardness of that conversation had made you complete forgot about your sleeping situation but you were reminded quickly as the other boys stood to also head to bed, Heeseung standing slowly and hovering near you.

He followed behind you closely as you ducked into the tent but neither of you spoke as you zipped it up, sitting down on the sleeping back to shuffle through your bag as you searched for your pajamas.

You felt bad it was so awkward between the two of you. You’d always felt more cautious around him considering your past crush but you never let it show, not wanting him to think you liked him less than the others or worse, realize the truth was the direct opposite. Still there was something clearly different in their air now and it was suffocating you a bit as you waited for him to joke around or say something stupid to break the tension.

“Are you into Jake?” When he finally spoke it threw you off completely, not expecting him to say something like in such a hardened tone.

You froze in your movements inside your bag, looking up at him in confusion. “What?”

He was halfway sat leaning against a few pillows, watching you from the other side of the tent with that same unreadable expression he had by the fire. He didn’t clarify what he said, knowing you had heard him and you watched him for a few seconds in silent bewilderment.

“Why would you ask me that?” You mumbled, shaking your head and looking down at your disorganized clothes pile again. It slightly agitated you that he hadn’t spoken to you for most of the day and yet that was the first question from his mouth.

“Just wondering.” He shrugged like it wasn’t a completely taboo topic to be questioning you about but his face was anything but casual. “Are you into any of them? Would you hook up with one of us?”

“How can you ask me that? Would you ask one of the boys that or is it because I’m the only girl?” You glared at him as you spoke.

“I’d ask them if I cared.” He stated and you scoffed, not fully understanding what he was attempting to imply in his statement.

He wasn’t acting like himself and you felt a bit worried that maybe you had done something to upset him or weirded him out with your awkward demeanor. You didn’t bother to reply again, grabbing your toothbrush with the pajamas you’d chosen and leaving the tent swiftly through the zippered door.

You were speed walking down towards the public bathrooms and showers on the other side of the camp site, flustered from his random interrogation and replaying the day to decide if you’d done anything that could make him think that.

Jake was touchy with everybody, especially you at times since you objected the least but he always had been and it definitely wasn’t a new and shocking thing for him to be touching your arm or hugging onto your side. You contemplated it potentially being due to his comment about you being hot but considering the context in which he said it, you didn’t think that was the reason.

A hand around your arm was snapping you from your thoughts and you let out a small yelp, spinning around to see Heeseung who was panting slightly.

His eyes were wide a bit like he was worried and you saw a flash of guilt pass through then when he saw your flushed face. He squeezed your arm for a second before letting it go and you gave him a questioning stare at the fact he had seemingly rushed out of the tent to follow you into the darkness.

“Let me walk you there.” He blurred out and gestured to the fact he was also holding his pajamas and night hygiene products. “It’s dark, you shouldn’t be out here alone.”

You scoffed slightly at his concern, both of you knowing you weren’t in any danger at the campsite and it was barely a ten minute walk through a lit trail, but nonetheless you nodded at him and continued walking with him now at your side. He didn’t say anything else and neither did you, parting ways silently once you got to the building and he went to the male side.

You took a second to breathe once inside, leaning your elbows on the counter and looking at yourself in the mirror underneath the yellow flickering lights. You brushed your teeth quickly and changed into a comfortable sweater and shorts, wandering back outside to see Heeseung already there and leaning against the wall.

He watched as you walked past him silently, lingering for a second before jogging to catch up with you.

“I’m sorry.” He was muttering and you looked at him for a second before focusing back in front of you so you didn’t trip over the bumpy terrain. “I shouldn’t have asked you that.”

You shrugged softly and you felt his arm bump into yours as you walked side by side, approaching the tent in silence. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore, certainly not wanting to hear the reason he thought you’d be hooking up with Jake of all people.

When you finally were back inside and putting your toothbrush away you tried to ignore the fact he was climbing onto the large sleeping bag waiting for you to join inside it before he could zip it up completely. Your heart was pounding thinking about sleeping next to him and you suddenly felt overly hot despite the cold chill of the night.

You’d slept next to Heeseung before, all accustomed to sharing beds or living room floors during sleepovers, sometimes even all smushing together inside Jungwon’s van when you had a particularly long late night adventure. Yet it felt extremely intimate to be alone together and zipped up inside a sleeping bag.

Still you had no other option and the cold was starting to get to you considering your pajama shorts, so you scooted over onto the staticky fabric and held your breath as he leaned over you to seal it.

He laid back onto his back and you fell into more silence, not quite touching but you could feel his shoulder only a few inches from yours, rising and falling as he took deep breaths. He was shifting a bit to try and get comfortable and directly bumped into you, freezing at the contact but not making any move to scoot further away.

“I really am sorry for asking you that.” He was suddenly speaking but his voice was so quiet you barely heard him at first, a tired rasp lacing his words.

“It’s fine Hee. Not a big deal.” You whispered back, the air feeling strangely delicate. His hand was touching your wrist randomly but you assumed it was an accident, sparing him a glance at his touch and finding him staring at the roof of the tent.

“Pissed me off when he said that.” His voice was still low but it was hardening again like it had earlier and you winced slightly, confused at his mood changes. Heeseung was never the type to get angry and definitely not somebody who would voice it so openly like this. “Is that weird to say?”

“I’m not sure I get what you mean.” You were bending your legs so your feet were flat against the tent floor and your knees were pointed upwards, feeling strangely vulnerable at the conversation topic.

His hand that was barely grazing your wrist was moving now and you stiffened when he completely grasped it, sliding slowly down your arm until he could feel your palm under his finger tips. You sucked in a breath at his strange actions, never really directly touching him before despite how close you all were to each other.

“I don’t think I know what I mean either.” He was letting out a small self deprecating laugh but he squeezed your hand now that they were intertwined. “I just know whenever he touches you it makes me feel crazy.”

Your heart felt heavy at his sudden confession and you were slightly dizzy as you were trying to process what he was saying and what it meant if he was implying what you thought he might be. It seemed like he was trying to tell you that he was jealous of Jake, jealous of him for touching you earlier and for the way he playfully flirted.

“Jake’s harmless.” You whispered back and you’re not sure why that’s what you chose to address instead of asking him why on earth that would upset him.

“I know.” He said it like he was frustrated, like you were missing the point he was trying to make. “It’s not about that, I don’t know forget it.”

He was unraveling his hand from yours but you instinctively caught him in the middle of his arm, panicked at the thought of him pulling away now that you’ve finally made some progress towards… something you still weren’t fully understanding. But you’d never even toed the line with Heeseung before and you weren’t going to take it for granted.

He was finally glancing at you now that you were practically hugging his arm and his face wasn’t hard anymore, instead having a nervous unsure look that you hadn’t really seen on him before.

“Help me understand.” You loosened your grip on his arm but kept it held against you, breathing heavier as you looked at each other.

He watched you for a while but didn’t say anything just yet, you tried not to flinch when he rolled over on his side so he could face you better and it seemed to work considering his free hand was coming up to push some of your hair behind your ear, resting on your cheek for a second before going back to his side like he hadn’t meant to do it.

“Why did you never have sex with Beomgyu?” He was whispering again and his words sounded particularly vulgar although he sounded like he was genuinely curious.

You didn’t answer for a while because you honestly didn’t have one that wouldn’t make you sound like you were desperate and insane. You could halfway lie and tell him it just didn’t feel right but you had a feeling he would be able to see right through you like he always could.

“It didn’t work right?” He started speaking again before you could and you were turning on your side too so you could look at him in confusion, still holding his arm that was resting in the middle of you. When he saw your confused look he explained further. “Using him to get over me, it didn’t work.”

You froze and your mouth fell open, almost worried you were going to cry considering how embarrassed you felt that he had apparently known your biggest secret this entire time. A sick feeling washed over you and he seemed to notice because he shifted closer to you slightly with a worried expression.

You thought back to how Heeseung had acted on the trip you’d brought your ex boyfriend to. He was more distant than usual but you figured he was just busy and stressed since he had been working so hard, this being confirmed when he couldn’t get time off to attend Christmas.

Now a large part of you was wondering if it was something else, if he had lied so he didn’t have to face you after your breakup. If Jake, somebody he knew and trusted, flirting with you had bothered him tonight then there was no way he hadn’t been even slightly upset considering you and Beomgyu were openly affectionate the entire break.

You tried to not blame yourself for the fact he had missed out on movie night that week, citing he wasn’t feeling well and barely sparing a glance to the two of you curled up together under a blanket on the couch. Remembering how he stared at you over dinner when you were introducing the boy with a bright smile on your face, avoiding his heavy gaze all night because it made your heart feel guilty.

It also made you feel incredibly stupid. Not only did he seem to know you were in love with him but he also determined your entire reasoning for rushing into a relationship.

“You knew?” Your hurt was shown clearly in your tone and his eyes saddened a little.

“Of course I knew, I thought we both did.” He shook his head a little like he was finding himself stupid. “Imagine my surprise when you come home with a boyfriend.”

“You left.” You spat out to him, squeezing his arm at the reminder he had willingly moved farther away from you than anybody else. Despite the fact you’d spent multiple nights together talking about the colleges you’d choose and he assured you he wouldn’t go far if he didn’t pick the one you were set on.

“I had to.” He sounded pained and stressed out like it had been weighing on him and your heart clenched considering you knew exactly how he felt.

As frustrated as you were at the situation you imagined it would’ve been hard for him too, having feelings for you the same way you did but never being sure. You definitely did your best to hide it to keep your friendship steady since it was your priority and you tried to think about how hurt you would be if he suddenly brought a girlfriend to your holidays, stomach turning at the thought.

“I am over you.” You said it forcefully as you tried to salvage any bit of friendship that was left but neither of you believed the words you were saying, his eyebrow raising as he watched you with a curious expression.

“Yeah?” He was mumbling and you squeezed his arm instinctively at his deepened tone and the way his voice quirked up in a question. You nodded your head and hummed softly in agreement, standing behind your claim.

He was shifting closer again and your nose bumped against his, causing you to suck in a sharp breath.

You tried not to think about the fact this was the closest you’d ever been to him, tried not to think about how he basically just confessed to you and taken almost two decades worth of weight off your shoulders. You especially tried not to think about the fact his eyes were flicking down to your lips every few seconds.

You didn’t think about anything at all when he was finally kissing you, closing your eyes immediately and leaning into each other like this was something you did often. Despite how constant you’d thought about what it would be like to kiss him one day, you were still surprised by how natural it felt.

It didn’t make you nervous to lean into him, not even when he let out a small huffy groan when he rolled onto his back so you could be laying halfway on top of him.

Something about kissing Heeseung came naturally to you and he seemed to be thinking similarly considering the way he let out a small relieved sigh when you pulled away to breathe, big hands coming up to tangle in your hair and hold your face still above his as he studied your swollen lips and dazed expression.

He gave you a soft smile and your lips quirked up at the sight of it, feeling content and happy despite your stomach lighting up with those familiar butterflies, leaning back down to kiss him again before you wasted any more time.

---

this one's so cute omg 😭💗💗

(guys i need to find love baddd omg)

hopeless ☆ heeseung lee

☆ horrendously down bad! heeseung x fem! reader ☆ summary: absolutely no one would have expected the dark, brooding, and rough heeseung lee to be hopelessly head over heels in love with the sweet, oblivious you. especially you. even with the help of practically the entire year, it's almost pathetic the way heeseung struggles to utter three, simple words to you, let alone look you in the eye. ☆ genre: fluff!!! pining, SUPER WHIPPED HEESEUNG, high school! au, non-idol! au, a lot of 01 liner idols + the rest of enha make appearances, btw this follows the asian school system, SO MUCH FLIRTING OMG, heeseung is kinda pathetic and awk ☆ warning(s)? swearing and dumb characters lol, there is one SA scene, but it is not graphic + very minor violence ☆ word count: 10.8k ☆ this is extremely based off of "danger" by bts, especially the lyric "you're cute, and i'm pathetic" lol enjoy!

Heeseung Lee was stressed. 

No. He was distraught. 

Distraught about how fucking cute you looked today.

Ever since he was a kid, Heeseung loved Halloween, because he loved Trick-or-Treating with his older brother and cousins. However now, at the age of seventeen, he found himself resenting it. Not because there was any issue with the holiday, but because today was Halloween. 

From across the classroom, Heeseung found himself staring, all dazed and empty-headed, at you, who was clad in your cute bunny costume. The way the fluffy, white ears stuck out from the top of your head, as well as the fluffy white coat draped around your shoulders, made you look so soft and cozy and adorable. The way your nose crinkled as you laughed with your friends, sweet sounds coming from your lips as you threw your head back. 

Were you real? How could anyone be so goddamn beautiful and not be an actual angel sent from above? What country did Heeseung save in his past life in order to get to be in your presence in this life?

"Dude, you're staring," a new voice interjected.

"What?" Heeseung tore his eyes away from you. "I wasn't."

Beomgyu Choi was one of Heeseung's classmates. And, like everyone else in their year, Beomgyu knew how enamored Heeseung was with you. Other than yourself, of course.

"I'm tellin' you," Beomgyu plopped down onto his seat, which was beside Heeseung's. He slid his chair so that he would be closer to his classmate, before throwing an arm around Heeseung. "You need to make a move. Like, now."

Heeseung glanced over at his classmate. If he ignored the fake blood on Beomgyu's chin, as well as the fake, plastic vampire teeth and the god-awful Spirit Halloween Dracula cape, he'd know that Beomgyu was 100% correct. 

Everyone (and seriously, everyone) knew that Heeseung Lee had the biggest, juiciest, most obnoxious crush on you. In fact, your own friends had even tasked themselves with the job of putting in a good word for Heeseung, saying things like "Isn't he so cool?" into your ear to hopefully guide you straight into his arms. It's such a well-known fact that some of your teachers have purposefully placed you and Heeseung next to or near each other in order to help him with his more-than-obvious crush. 

With such a big, school-wide effort, it should be expected that at least some progress was made.

Wrong!

Not even a single stroke of progress has been made.

Probably because there was one teensy, weensy, eensy, problem: Heeseung was an absolute mess around you. Heeseung was known as this tall, blunt, and rough guy at school. When he wasn't silently judging everyone, he hung out with his group of friends, who had a reputation for being delinquents. Heeseung Lee, clad in his iconic black leather jacket, was intimidating, and usually had no problem speaking up for himself. But around you? Absolutely not.

If anyone thought that Heeseung Lee could easily speak to you, they were out of their goddamn mind. There were too many instances where your classmates would push Heeseung and you together, only for him to blow it because he was completely incapable of looking you in the eye without turning red. 

In Heeseung's defense, you were the most beautiful person in the world— How is he not supposed to get nervous?

"You know I can't," Heeseung murmured, clenching his fists.

Beomgyu rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Hee. What happened to banger Heeseung Lee? Heeseung Lee that beats up kids? I didn't think you'd be scared of talking to girls."

"First of all," Heeseung frowned, "I'm not a banger and I don't beat up kids. And also, I'm not scared of talking to girls."

His classmate quirked a brow. "Really?" Heeseung nodded. "Because the last time I remember, you could barely get a word out in front of [Name]."

At the sound of your name, Heeseung jerked in his seat, reaching out to grasp Beomgyu's arm. "Shhhh, don't say her name so loud!" he hissed, eyes quivering over to where you were with your friends.

"What?" Beomgyu looked around indiscreetly. "It's not a secret to anyone how you feel about [Name]."

"Shhhh! Shut up!"

When the bell rang, everyone scurried to their seat, and class began. As Beomgyu tuned out the sound of the teacher's voice, he couldn't help but notice the way Heeseung's eyes were completely glued to you. It was almost laughable, the way the boy's eyes were wide, staring at you like you were some god.

Oh god, Heeseung Lee was hopeless.

"Heeseung-hyung, are you free tomorrow?"

It was lunch time. Heeseung and his friends liked to hang around the rooftop of the school, because it was always empty. And plus, no one wanted to be where Heeseung and his friends were— they were too scary!

Heeseung looked at his younger Australian friend, Jake Sim (or Jaeyun Sim, as his official documents stated), who had just asked that question. Heeseung took a bite of the instant ramen that they bought from the vending machine.

"Yeah, why?"

"Good. Because you have a date with [Name] tomorrow."

Heeseung choked. As he coughed, his other younger friend, Sunoo Kim, let out a whine.

"Hyuuunggg!" Sunoo pouted. "Why'd you tell him?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise!" Riki Nishimura, the group's Japanese foreign exchange student friend, added, elbowing Jake in the ribs.

"Whatever," Jake crossed his arms. When Riki nudged him again, Jake opened his mouth to holler, "Jay, back me up!"

Jongseong "Jay" Park was another one of Heeseung's friends, probably the closest person to him. 

"You guys know Heeseung-hyung is going to fuck it up either way, right?" Jay said. "Remember last time?"

"Yeah," Sunghoon Park joined in. "No matter how much we prepared him, Heeseung-hyung still acted like a fucking idiot."

"I'm right here!" Heeseung shouted, still hitting his chest to dislodge the ramen that he choked on. 

Jungwon Yang, the seventh person in their friend group, put a hand on the older boy's shoulder, his lips lifting up into a half-teasing grin, revealing sharp canine teeth, "Hyung, don't listen to them. I think you'll really impress [Name] tomorrow."

It was Heeseung's turn to elbow Jungwon in the ribs.

When Heeseung finally finished coughing up a storm, his friends were already onto another topic, making plans for the next weekend.

"Hey, hey!" Heeseung grumbled. "Aren't you guys going to explain this so-called 'date with [Name]'?"

"What's there to explain?" Riki said. "You're going on a date with [Name]. End of story."

The eldest of the group's face contorted. "What are you guys even saying—"

"Well, it's not technically a date," Sunghoon said, taking a sip of his juice box. "You're, like, hanging out with [Name] though."

That still didn't answer Heeseung's question. 

"When? Where? What time?" he spluttered, eager for answers.

Jake huffed exasperatedly. "Do we have to explain to you everything? It's not that deep, man."

Jungwon rolled his eyes. "Hyung, [Name]'s friends are the presidents of the Environment and Ecology Club, and there's a social tomorrow. It's like birdhouse painting, or something. [Name] is attending to support her friend, so we signed you up, too."

"Birdhouse painting?!" Sunoo's features morphed into confusion. "I thought they were making bracelets?"

"No, I thought there were weaving baskets?" Riki frowned.

"Whatever it is, it sounds lame as hell," Jay remarked.

Jungwon rolled his eyes again, earning a punch on his arm. "Whatever it is, it'll be a great opportunity for you to talk to [Name]." 

The younger boy offered Heeseung a reassuring smile, only to receive a pensive one in return.

When classes resumed, Heeseung felt light-headed and distracted the entire time as he processed the fact that he was going to be around you tomorrow.

Oh god, he sounded like a total loser. Did the mere thought of being in your presence make him nervous? Yes, yes it did. You were just so pretty and sweet, he had no idea what to do. Poor boy, his teeth dug into his bottom lip, clammy palms pressing into the underside of his desk. His knee bounced, and there was absolutely no way that he could even make out a single word the teacher was saying.

Heeseung was going to pass out. 

"Hey, Heeseung?"

That's your voice. It was so pretty and nice on his ears. Was he in heaven? He wouldn't be surprised if your voice was the voice of an angel.

"Heeseung?"

Heeseung was convinced that he was in heaven now. What he wouldn't do to hear your voice every second of his life.

"Heeseung!" another voice interjected. That's what snapped Heeseung out of his daze. Too deep in his head, Heeseung hadn't noticed that the class period ended, and the short passing period had already begun.

At his desk stood Yunjin Huh, Minjeong "Winter" Kim, and... oh my god... you. The three of you had somewhat matching Halloween costumes: Yunjin was a gray mouse, Winter was a cat, and you were a bunny. And now that he looked at it, you all were holding a bag of candy.

While your two friends were giving him the"Are you serious?" looks, you looked at him with wide, kind eyes.

"Heeseung?" your beautiful voice said, fingers reaching into the candy bag that you were holding. "Would you like candy?"

He stared at you. You were giving out candy to everyone in class because it was Halloween... You're such an angel... What did the world do to deserve you...

Winter stepped on Heeseung's foot, snapping him out of his daze once again. The boy let out a small yelp in pain, and as the embarrassment settled in, he heard you let out a small giggle, lips raising up to show off your teeth.

Oh my god, he was going to die.

"Y-Yeah," he stammered out, cursing himself internally. Heeseung couldn't help but feel everyone in class's gaze glued to him. When you handed him a piece of candy, your hand brushed up against his. Heeseung could feel his ears becoming hot, the warmth rising to his neck.

You smiled at him, before saying in a sing-songy voice, "Happy Halloween!"

Heeseung had to force himself not to stare like an absolute fool.

He was really hopeless.

hee: jay i don't think i can do it tomorrow

It was 2AM when Heeseung texted Jay. He spent the entire night thinking about the "date" (probably the least necessary word at the moment), and he simply couldn't sleep.

Heeseung had embarrassed himself too many times in front of you. Like that one time you and him were on cleaning duty together, and he was so distracted by you that he tripped over a bucket of water. Or that one time he sat next to you for a few weeks and his shoes kept squeaking against the floor, making it look like he was farting. Or when he tried to look cool and suave in front of you at some social your friends invited him to only to rip a hole in his pants. And then what happened today... He could not embarrass himself again.

hee: like i think i'm going to die if she sits next to me tomorrow

It was only a matter of seconds when his friend texted back.

jay: you'll be fine trust

Heeseung frowned.

hee: stop lying to me

hee: you know how i am around her

jay: i believe in you

jay: like srsly

hee: that's blind faith

Jay typed for a little bit, before stopping altogether. Heeseung huffed. Did his friend just leave him on read? A few minutes later Jay sent a Wikihow article.

'How to talk to your crush,' it was aptly named. Heeseung deadpanned.

hee: are you being fr right now

jay: give [name] your sexy heeseung charm and you'll be walking off into the sunset hand-in-hand with her in no time

jay: read the article btw

How was this guy an actual person?

hee: kill yourself

jay: give her that passionate, sexy, boiling hot, hotter-than-the-sun, steaming hot heeseung that makes her just want to come up to you and give you the fattest, juiciest kiss on the mouth, i know you can do it soldier

hee: DIE

Heeseung couldn't sleep all night.

At school, the entire day was just plagued with anxiety for what was to come. It didn't help that your friends kept turning around and giving him knowing looks throughout the day. When school finally let out, Heeseung went to the classroom where the birdhouse-painting-bracelet-making-basket-weaving social would be held. His friends told him to go there the moment that school ended, but when he came, there was literally no one there.

Until someone yanked him into the classroom.

"Hey!-" he yelped, before the door slammed. In front of him stood two people that he recognized: Sumin Bae and Sieun Park, two of your friends who also coincidentally were the co-presidents of the Environment and Ecology club.

Sumin cocked a brow at him, crossing her arms. "I hope you're not as hopeless as everyone says you are."

Heeseung opened his mouth to respond, but Sieun cut him off.

"Ugh, that doesn't matter," she pinched her nose-bridge. "We told [Name] to sit near the front, so you better sit there, too."

"Right-" 

Sumin cut him off, too.

"[Name]'s favorite color is pink, and her favorite Sanrio character is Keroppi," Sumin asserted. "And she really likes things that are cute, so like fruit patterns, hearts, stars, yada yada."

Heeseung blinked at them. "And this is relevant how...?"

Sumin and Sieun shared a look.

"You are completely hopeless."

As it turned out, they were giving him details about design-elements that you liked, so that Heeseung could somehow impress you with his birdhouse painting abilities (Jungwon was right, it was birdhouse painting). After info-dumping on him, they kicked him out of the classroom to actually prepare for the social.

As Heeseung was pushed out of the classroom, he bumped into someone. Just as he was about to say, "Watch where you're going," he realized that it was you. 

"Oh, hi, Heeseung!" you greet him cheerfully, your eyes pressing into thin slits as you smile. 

Quick! What does he do? "Hi... [Name]."

"Are you here for the social, too?" The way your eyes gazed at him made him feel shy already.

"Y-Yeah...."

"I didn't know you were interested in the Environment and Ecology club..." You remarked, and Heeseung panicked— Was it obvious that he was here exclusively for you?— but what you said next made him sigh in relief. "That's great! I'm so happy that I finally have someone familiar with me here!"

He's going to faint.

When the social began, you invited him to sit next to you. Heeseung felt stiff as he sat beside you, watching the way that you happily painted your small, wooden birdhouse. Heeseung wanted to start a conversation with you, but each time he thought of something to say, his voice caught in his throat. Sumin and Sieun had given him two dirty looks already, so he needed to make a move now or their efforts would be in vain.

"W-What's that?" he finally stuttered out, pointing to the glob of green on your birdhouse. 

You laugh airily, leaning closer to him so that he can see it better. "Can you guess?"

Heeseung tries to concentrate on guessing, but it's hard when you're close to him. Quick! What's green and something that you like?

"Is that... K-Keroppi?"

"Yeah!" Your face lit up, flashing him a cheeky grin. You nudged him with your elbow, raising your brows at him playfully. "Awww, Hee, you smarty pants! How'd you know?"

Hee?

OhmygodohmygodohmygodyoucalledhimHee.

You stopped laughing, pulling away from him. "Sorry, do you not like being called Hee? Beomgyu sometimes calls you that, so I thought-"

"No, I like it!" Heeseung blurted, a little louder than he wanted to, earning a few questioning looks from people around him. The boy felt abnormally warm, embarrassed at his outburst. "I-I'm okay with you calling me that..."

"Noted!" you said, before your lips curled upward. "Now... are you going to tell me how you could tell that this green blob was Keroppi?"

"Oh uhm..." Heeseung's lips were moving faster than his head, "Y-You dressed up as Keroppi last year for Halloween with Yunjin."

Almost like you were a cartoon character, you perked up at his statement. "You remember?"

Of course he did. How could he forget? You wore a cartoonishly-big red bow around your neck like Keroppi, and had a green Keroppi-style headband. You looked adorable, especially when you went around showing off a Keroppi keychain that you got at the Cinnamoroll Cafe in Hongdae to anyone that was willing to listen.

Heeseung found himself chuckling. "Of course I'd remember your massive red bow."

You stared at him for a few moments, before a bashful grin broke out on your face. You then buried your face in your hands, letting out a groan. "Ughhhh, that's so embarrassing!"

"How?"

It's going good so far, Heeseung thought. Just don't mess it up!

You pouted cutely, your bottom lip jutting out. In the light, he could see the gloss shining off of it so prettily. "My makeup was so fucked up last year, ughhh, it looked so bad."

You? Look bad? Impossible.

"What are you talking about?" Heeseung asked, his doe-like eyes scanning your embarrassed face. "I thought you looked cute."

You stared at him. It took a few pulses for Heeseung to realize what he just said. His face instantly turned three shades warmer and panic was evident in his expression.

"I-I mean— You jus—You were really—"

He shut his mouth when you began laughing. Laughing so hard that you clutched onto his knee, keeling over yourself. His cheeks burned.

You're laughing at him, aren't you? Did he fuck up?

When you noticed the sulky expression on his face, you stopped laughing.

"Sorry, Hee," you said, giving his knee a reassuring squeeze. "It's just... You look so intimidating, when you're really just a sweetheart."

If Heeseung was red before, he was quietly literally the color of a tomato. It was a wonder that the entire room’s temperature didn’t rise given the sheer amount of heat radiating off his person.

"A s-sweetheart?"

"Yeah!" you happily respond. "You're just the cutest, y'know? Like a little puppy."

As much as Heeseung wanted to die happily now that you called him cute, he needed to keep this conversation going. Sucking in a sharp breath, the boy looked at you in the eyes. "W-Well I think the same about you... [Name]."

You looked at him curiously, so he continued, his voice soft and sheepish, "I... also think that you're the cutest."

You blinked at him a few times, before the widest smile that he'd ever seen spread across your cheeks, stretching ear to ear. If only Heeseung wasn't too busy grappling with his shyness, he'd notice the way you let out a soft, bashful giggle, shaking your head and squeezing your eyes shut to keep yourself from being too visibly flustered. Slowly, with all the courage that you had left in you, you raised your hand and placed it on Heeseung's head. You ruffled his soft locks, gushing, "God, you're so cute, Heeseung!"

The rest of the social is filled with soft chatter between the two of you, but Heeseung was honestly too captivated by you to notice the time passing. With his heart on his sleeve, and a sloppily-painted birdhouse in his hands, Heeseung mentally high-fived himself.

Heeseung's friends never heard the end of it. The moment that he got home, Heeseung spammed their groupchat, giving them paragraphs and paragraphs of the events that ensued.

hee: and then she called me cute. like CUTE CUTE, not even like she was alluding it, she used the word CUTE

hee: oh my god i think i'm gonna faint

His friends don't have it in them to flame him. After all, this was progress.

Unbeknownst to him, you were feeling the same things. Everyone knew that Heeseung liked you, except yourself. You had the opposite case: you've had the biggest crush on Heeseung since middle school, but never told a single soul about it. You're a naturally expressive and sweet person, so it was so incredibly hard hiding your feelings for him. 

After all, under that handsome and brooding outer shell, you saw his softness. This past year, you've had so many miscellaneous interactions (at least, it seemed miscellaneous-- everyone but you knew that those interactions were set up) with Heeseung. At the beginning of each interaction, he'd act all mysterious, but as time passed, he'd speak so softly and slowly unravel. 

It was so, so cute. Heeseung was so cute. To say you wanted him would be an understatement. No words were sufficient to fully express the nights that you stayed awake thinking about him, or the makeup looks that you intricately practiced to impress him, or the sheer number of times that you had to hide the fact that you were staring at him.

Maybe you couldn't hide it any longer.

"Wait, what?!"

Heeseung's heart dropped to his stomach the moment he heard the words leave his friend's lips. Chenle Zhong was one of you and Heeseung's mutual friends, and according to him, someone had confessed to you via a letter today.

"Are you serious?" Heeseung asked, pulling his bottom lip into his teeth, chewing pensively. "Do you know who wrote it?"

"Nope, but I'll try to get more info on it," Chenle frowned. "Yunjin says that [Name] laughed at the letter."

When Heeseung didn't say anything, Chenle continued. "Hey, man, that could be a sign, y'know?"

When Heeseung's face morphed into a confused expression, his friend added, "Like, maybe [Name] thinks it's a joke? Maybe she doesn't care for it."

That's what Heeseung hoped for.

Later, Chenle texted him a screenshot of the love letter. To say that Heeseung was appalled would be an understatement. The letter read,

'To my dearest [Name], you're as beautiful as the plum blossoms in the spring. Your lips are soft like pillows, pillows that I would love to fall into an eternal in. I love you, I love you, I'll love you until this paper decomposes and becomes a part of the earth, and maybe then they will be able to force me to forget you. Love, your admirer.'

Heeseung immediately sent it to his groupchat.

jakey: yo who invited shakespeare???

hoon: i had a stroke reading that

sunoo: "your lips are soft like pillows" is crazyyy

hee: chenle gave me updates, apparently [name] knows who the sender is

jay: AND WHO IS THE SENDER??

hee: i don't know

hee: but minjeong says that it's someone from class 2

niki: class 2 is full of snobs

jungwon: i'm still in shock because of "i'll love you until this paper decomposes"

hoon: WHAT IF IT'S JUNGSU HYUNG

niki: oh it's SO over for you heeseung-hyung

As it turned out, it was not, in fact, Jungsu Kim from Class 2, thanks to your friends, who were quite wonderful info-brokers. But he still didn't know who it was.

Laying in bed, Heeseung felt weight on his chest. You laughed at the letter. While that could mean that it was a joke, it could also mean that you thought the person writing the letter was funny... which could mean that you liked them back. Just the mere thought of you with someone else made Heeseung frown deeply. This entire time he was worried about how to act around you, completely ignoring the fact that you yourself could be interested in someone else! God, he was so stupid.

Heeseung needed to know who it was that sent it, and more importantly, if you were romantically interested in them.

Fear makes man do crazy things.

Like walking one's crush to school.

Look, Heeseung was mulling over the situation as he walked to school, when he saw you across the street, walking in the same direction as him. In what could only be called an adrenaline-high, Heeseung ran across the street up to you.

"[Name]!" he called out.

"Heeseung?—Oh my god!"

Poor boy was breathless, flushed in the face. It took him a few moments to catch his breath. Flashing you a grin, Heeseung said, "Let's walk to school together, [Name]."

You're silent for a few moments, before you return the smile. "Of course."

The walk was silent, only the sound of early morning traffic, footsteps against the concrete sidewalk, and the occasional sniffle courtesy of you filling the cold air between the two of you. Speaking of which, your sniffles began to get louder and more frequent. Now out of adrenaline, Heeseung was back to being shy.

Clearing his throat, Heeseung forced his voice out. "Are you— Are you sick?"

You sniffled again, bringing your hand up to swipe your nose. The two of you were at an intersection now, so you pressed the pedestrian button. "No, I just get sniffly when it's cold."

That's. So. Cute. Was what Heeseung was thinking. The way you were rubbing your hands together made you look so adorable, he just wanted to put you in his pocket. 

He must have been staring at you for a while, back in his you-loving daze, because Heeseung did not notice that the streetlight changed, and it was time for the pedestrians to pass.

Not to worry!

Heeseung was completely kicked out of his daze when your smaller hand grabbed his, pulling him along the street. His eyes were glued to the two of your hands, especially where they connected. For someone sniffly, your hands were warm. He liked the way that they fit in his.

Even in the cool morning air, Heeseung suddenly felt warm all over.

You were in the middle of the sidewalk when Heeseung stopped. Feeling bold, he dropped his schoolbag, and began slipping off his thick, black, leather jacket, before draping it over your shoulders. 

When you looked up at him with those curious doe eyes, all his boldness went away.

"Y-You're cold aren't you?" He avoided looking you in the eyes. "Just... Just take it. Y-You can give it back later... or whatever."

You giggled, slipping your arms into the sleeves.

God, you looked so cute in his jacket. Heeseung was going to melt.

And he did melt, because you began doing cute twirls to show off the jacket, posing for him.

"How do I look?" you cheekily asked, popping your leg up. 

Heeseung was speechless, his mouth just left agape. He had to force himself to speak.

"Cute..." he answered, barely audible.

A grin was growing on your face. "Sorry, I didn't hear you. How do I look?"

Heeseung squeezed his eyes shut, huffing. "I said you looked cute!"

The sight of Heeseung's pink cheeks and his cute little pout was enough for you to be satisfied. Before the boy could realize what he said, you picked up his school bag for him, shoving it into one of his hands, before snatching his free hand. You pulled him gently to continue walking, but Heeseung was frozen in place, eyes too busy on you.

"Heeeeee," you elongated your syllables. You squeezed his hand twice, tugging him again. "We can't be late to class, can we?"

Heeseung audibly gulped. "Y-Yeah. You're right.."

You guys began walking again, neither of you wanting to let each other’s hands go.

"And then she held my hand— Isn't that crazy?! She held my hand!"

"Heeseung-hyung, please, I am peeing right now."

It was the lunch period once again. As Heeseung and Sunghoon traversed the hallways to get to the stairwell, the older of two chatted about the events that morning.

"So you held her hand?" Sunghoon asked half-heartedly, barely listening. "And then what?"

Heeseung perked up. "And then we walked to class together, and then she—"

"That's cool and all," the younger friend was walking in front of him. Sunghoon turned over his shoulder. "But did you get any more information about the letter fiasco?"

Oh. 

No, Heeseung didn't.

When they reached the rooftop, his friends gently nudged him to get more information about the letter. 

"You don't want to have one of those 'too late' moments, right?" Jungwon said, chewing on his rice ball. "What if by the time you gather the courage to talk to her, [Name] is already walking off into the sunset hand-in-hand with her secret admirer?!"

"What's with you guys and walking off into the sunset..." Heeseung muttered, running a hand through his hair. 

"I'm serious, hyung!"

"I second that," Jay said lazily.

"I second that," Riki mocked in a squeaky voice, earning him a soft smack at the back of his head.

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Heeseung asked, frustrated. "I can talk to her or her friends later, but not right now."

Jake scoffed. "What's stopping you from going back inside and talking to [Name] right now?"

The eldest boy didn't have an answer. That's true. There wasn't anything stopping Heeseung from talking to you right now. All the boys were now watching him for an answer, ready to pounce on him for being a coward.

"I don't know!" Heeseung finally said. "I've used up all of my bravery today... I don't think I have it in me to talk to her!"

His friends stared at him questioningly, until the silence was broken by Sunoo taking a loud and very obviously fake phonecall.

"Hi! Yes! Mhm. He's right here. Yeah. Mhm. Thank you!"

Sunoo hung up loudly, and looked at Heeseung with a cocked brow. "I was just on the phone with Yunjin. She says you should probably go talk to [Name]."

Heeseung looked at Sunoo incredulously, but the expectant expressions on his friends' faces made him groan.

"Fine!"

As Heeseung creeped down the school hallway, he came to the classroom that you hung out in at lunch: your homeroom. Standing outside the door, the boy took a deep breath.

Relax, it's just [Name], he had to tell himself, as if that helped at all. What was he even going to say? 

'Hey, are you dating the person that sent you that letter? If you aren't, do you want to get married to me? Haha.'

????

Just as Heeseung was about to slide the door open, he heard a very familiar laugh from inside. Of course he could recognize it. After all, it was you. 

"Yuri is so cute!" he heard you giggle. "She wrote me that little letter as a joke, but I think I'm actually in love with her."

In.

Love.

With.

Her.

"Awww, Yuri, come here and give me a kiss!"

Come.

Give.

You.

A.

Kiss.

"I'm gonna marry you, Yuri!"

Marry.

You.

Yuri.

To Heeseung, everyone was an enemy. No matter their gender or class, the moment that he heard that you got a love letter, everyone became a suspect. It all made sense now. Yuri Jo, the 'Yuri' that you were talking about and to, was from Class 2. He knew that you and her were friends, but he didn't know that you were romantically interested in her. 

Jungwon was right. Now you were going to walk off into the sunset hand-in-hand with her!

hee: guys what if [name] is already taken :(

jakey: what are you on about this time

There was something scary about a 6-feet tall guy mulling around and sulking all day, so luckily no one got in Heeseung's way as he brooded. Unfortunately, he felt his heart hurt whenever he looked at you. Almost cartoonishly, he'd turn away, close his eyes in dramatic pain, and pout. Although he acted a little bit theatrical, it was no doubt that Heeseung felt sad. He really thought he had a chance with you, and now he felt stupid.

Except, he was stupid.

But for a different reason.

"Jesus Christ, you're actually hopeless, Heeseung."

After school, your friends cornered him, somewhere where you wouldn't see. His friends were somehow in close communication with your friends.

"I can't believe you thought me and [Name] were actually dating!"

Heeseung scowled, crossing his arms over his chest, as he leaned against a locker. Before him stood Yunjin, Winter, Yuri, along with a few other of your friends, Hitomi and Minju. 

"I don't know!" Heeseung huffed. "Everyone is an enemy to me—” he glanced at Yuri— “Including Yuri.”

Yunjin scoffed in disbelief. "You're insane."

Soooo... You weren't in any romantic relationship with anyone. Yuri sent you that letter as a joke, and you were just really close to her. Good.

"I don't know how I feel about this guy getting with our [Name]," Winter muttered to Hitomi and Minju, but loud enough for Heeseung to hear.

"Hey!"

"I know, he's a total dumbass," Minju grumbled back.

"Dude, I'm right here!"

Hitomi rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Well, are you free on Friday after school?"

"Yeah, why?" They always asked Heeseung that question when they had some crazy plan up their sleeve. Not like he was any better.

"Wellll," Hitomi began in a sing-songy voice. "[Name] really wants to go to that Cinnamoroll Sweet Cafe in Hongdae on Friday, but none of us are available."

Heeseung nodded slowly. 

"I think it'd be a good way for you to get closer to her, dontcha think?"

And that's how Heeseung scored his first (unofficial) date with you

When your friends told you that Heeseung would accompany you to Hongdae, you almost jumped for joy. Almost. Friday couldn't come any faster. The plan was that you'd meet Heeseung at the train station at 4:30PM, meaning that you had a bit of time to change and get ready. You didn't want to get too ahead of yourself and call it a date, but oh boy did you want to.

What were you going to wear? What if you were too formal? Should you go for a casual look or something more put-together? You needed to impress him!

When Friday came, you practically ran home to get ready. You perfected your makeup, and put on your prettiest outfit. Spraying yourself with your signature perfume, you looked in the mirror. Hopefully, he'll like how you look. 

At the corner of your eye, you spot a black, leather jacket. His black, leather jacket. Without even thinking, you slinked toward it, slipping into the jacket. It smelled like him, the faint scent of his cologne lingering on the leather.

With a final glance in the mirror, you left for the train station.

On the other hand, to say that Heeseung was nervous for the date was an understatement. His heart was about to fall out of chest. He changed into something more casual, made sure to brush out his disheveled hair, and reapplied his cologne. He came to the train station 20 minutes early, just in case something went terribly wrong. He glanced at his phone. For the date, he managed to get a hold of your number, for “communication purposes.” He’d wanted to text you all week, but didn’t have the courage to.

“Hee?” your soft voice calling his name got his attention. Behold, you standing there before him, all dolled up and pretty. This must be the sight he’ll see when he enters heaven, he thought. 

“Hi,” he said, his eyes glazing over your face. You were so pretty. Did you dress up for him? He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but the idea that you wanted to look good for him made Heeseung’s heart skip a beat. “You look…”

He didn’t mean to say that. You smile bashfully. “I look…?”

“So pretty,” Heeseung breathed. “You look so pretty.”

“Thank you,” you smile. Your fingers reach for the hem of his shirt, playing with it, which sends his heart racing. “Well, I think you look handsome, Hee.”

“Th-Thanks.”

The two of you stare into each other’s eyes for a few moments, and Heeseung swears that you’re looking at his lips. You spoke up, breaking the silence. “You notice anything about me?”

Heeseung grasped the collar of his jacket gently with both hands. “My jacket.”

“I was going to give it back to you earlier,” you begin, eyes trained on his lips, “But I think I’ll keep it for today, yeah? Since I look so pretty in it.”

“Oh fuck,” Heeseung cursed under his breath, loud enough for you to hear it and giggle. “Yeah, you can keep it for as long as you want.”

“As long as I want?” you purred, taking a step closer to him. Although it wasn’t clear to anyone else, you were a mess inside. Your heart was palpitating so hard that you could hear it in your ears. Your throat felt dry, and your hands were shaking with mere anxiety and excitement. “What about forever?”

Heeseung cracked a grin. “Do whatever you want. You’re pretty.”

If it wasn’t for the train announcement, you thought you would have kissed his pretty lips right then and there. Taking Heeseung’s hand, you led him to your train cart. 

“Let’s go, Hee.”

The train is much more packed than you expected, but it was the beginning of the weekend after all. The trip from Gyeonggi Province to Hongdae should take no less than an hour. Unfortunately, because of the amount of people in the train, you and Heeseung had to stand for the majority of the time. It should have been uncomfortable, but it simply wasn't. Because you were with Heeseung.

Standing only a few inches away from the boy, your chests almost pressed against each other. You could feel his breath fan your cheeks. The both of you held onto the pole, hands barely brushing against each other when the cart shook against the rails. 

At some point, the shaking was a lot more aggressive than it had previously been. Instinctively, your hand reached for his broad shoulders for stability. Likewise, Heeseung reached for your waist, holding you in place. You and Heeseung shared a long, drawn-out look, eyes getting lost in one another's, before you both avert your gazes shyly, muttering, "sorry." Yet, neither of you moved your hands from their newfound positions.

As minutes passed on the train, your eyes were glued to Heeseung, at least when he wasn't watching. 

You loved the reddish blush that naturally decorated his under-eyes, and the natural corally red at tinted the tip of his ears. His glossy eyes and heart-shaped lips had to be your favorite feature of his, if not for his large, yet delicate hands, so gentle and soft.

You were deep in thought when you suddenly felt a hand creeping on your leg. Nimble fingers from behind, brushing up against the hem of your dress. From the corner of your eye, you saw an older man. He looked unkempt and scruffy, like a delinquent– but nothing like Heeseung. Heeseung looked much better than him.

The man reeked of cigarettes and musk. A nasty grin spread across his face as he peered down at your exposed legs. His hands creeped toward them again, now slightly pushing your dress up. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip, your entire body stiffening. Your heart began to pound in your chest, your cheeks and skin feeling hot. 

Panic overtook your system. Your once soft breaths became much shorter and quicker, inhaling and exhaling shallow air.

You’ve never been in a situation like this; you’d  never wished, thought, or even considered something like this happening to you– why would you? You had no idea what to do, and were not at all prepared for this. The train was packed to the brim, this man was much bigger and stronger than you, and you did not know how to fight.

The hand moved past your skirt, now under it and directly in contact with your skin. The hand felt dirty, brushing against you. A small frantic whimper escaped your lips when the man’s hand squeezed your bare thigh. It was a small sound, barely audible in the vast bustle of the subway. However, someone did hear it.

Heeseung, doe-eyed and lost in his own world, immediately darted his eyes over to you the moment he heard a sound of discomfort. 

When your eyes met, you could only signal helplessly. Your gaze was wide, pupils dilated, with fear and panic. Heeseung’s eyes narrowed, staring into your eyes for a moment before analyzing your expression. The way you were extremely tense and overwrought casted a sense of suspicion in his head, and your eyes that were seemingly pleading him made him think.

Help, your eyes said.

Heeseung’s dark eyes flickered from your face, to your entire body language, and back to your face, before he spotted a few, foreign fingers creeping around your leg area.

Your shifty eyes kept moving from Heeseung’s to the side, but now that he looked at it, it was like they were pointing behind you. And lo and behold, behind you was a musky pervert, who was shamelessly touching you.

“[Name]…” he whispered. His fists clenched, teeth gritting. He sucked in a deep breath, feeling anger build up in his stomach. You whimpered again in response. He brought a hand to ghost over your shoulder, pushing you very, very, gently to the side. “Move.”

He wound up his fist and sent the hardest punch he could muster to the man square in the jaw.

The man lurched back immediately, his hand moving far, far, away from you. A groan left his lips, his head being thrown back in pain. The man’s fall had pushed a few other people down as well. Other bystanders watched on in shock. Some took out their phones to record and take pictures, others to tell their friends.

You just stood still, leaning into Heeseung, whose fist was a faint red color. With a very careful hand, he brushed the lifted hem of your dress down, which had been messed with earlier.

The man quickly got up once he noticed the new and tense silence over the subway cart.

“Hey!” he shouted, pushing himself up from his downtrodden position. “You little punk, who the fuck do you think you-”

The train announcer called for the stop. Heeseung, ignoring the man, took your arm, pulling you out the door. Before he himself left, Heeseung landed a kick to the man’s crotch, muttering, “Fucking bastard.”

"W-Wait, Hee-!"

Heeseung was silent as the train doors opened, only pulling you along with him. When the two of you were far from the train, he finally stopped, turning to you.

"Are you okay?" was all he asked. You shifted uncomfortably at the thought of what happened earlier.

"Y-Yeah..." you played with the hem of his jacket sheepishly. "Thanks for what you did back there."

Heeseung jolted up at the mention. He didn't love using violence, despite his 'delinquent' reputation, especially in front of you. His hands joined yours at the hem of his jacket, shyly brushing up against yours. 

"Next time," he began, beginning to play with the zipper, "I'll fight every person on that train so that you can sit."

You smiled softly. "You don't have to do that, Hee."

Heeseung slowly zipped up his jacket on you, meeting your eyes, before straightening out your collar. 

"But I want to," he breathed. You gazed at him. His hands were still on the collar of the jacket, close to your face. You noticed the red smudges on his knuckles from punching the man on the train. You took that hand, opening it up, and nuzzling your cheek into it. You took his other hand. To Heeseung's surprise, you pressed soft kisses on his knuckles, rubbing them with your thumb.

"What are you..." his breath hitched when your eyes flickered to his, holding steady eye-contact. 

You pressed one last kiss on his palm. "Thank you, Hee. Really."

"Of course, [Name]," he finally whispered. "Anything for you."

And so, your first date with Heeseung began.

The sweet scent of cinnamon and pastries hit your noses the moment you guys stepped into the Cinnamoroll Cafe. When you were seated, you took a look at the menu. So far, the date was going smoothly. Other than the run-in at the beginning, the chemistry between the two of you was sparking. The conversation was flowing, and if that already wasn't a dream come true, you kept touching Heeseung. On your end, you were practically vibrating in your seat with the sheer amount of excitement you had bubbling in you. You couldn't believe you were on a date with the Heeseung Lee sharing a strawberry banana parfait. 

"Hee," you said, motioning him to come closer to you. He did, so you cupped his cheek, bringing your thumb up to wipe a stray piece of the parfait from his cheek. 

"Oh-" Heeseung's face reddened. How embarrassing! Did you think he was a slob now? You only giggled, bringing both hands up to hold his face. You squished the boy's cheeks, laughing at the way his brows cutely crashed into each other.

"You're so cute, Hee," you said, playing with his cheeks. "The cutest."

That's all you, he thought. You're going to drive him crazy.

Or, at least he thought he thought.

Did he just say that out loud? Heeseung groaned when you threw your head back laughing, hiding his own face in your palms. You chuckled.

Feeling bold, you cupped his cheeks again. You leaned closer, holding his face close to yours. You kissed a soft and chaste kiss on his nose. You couldn't help the heat that rose to your cheeks as the boy flopped over the table, hiding his face in his arms. You ran your fingers through his hair comfortingly, cooing at his cuteness.

"You can't do this to me," Heeseung murmured.

You laughed. It wouldn't hurt to tease him a little more, right? You leaned down, giving the boy another kiss. This time, though, you kissed the top of his head.

"Hee, baby, you're just the cutest, you know that right?"

Heeseung combusted.

After the Cafe, Heeseung and you walked around the Hongdae Festival Street. By now, it was beginning to get darker outside, the air cooling down. It was cold, but to Heeseung, it was perfect, because now he had an excuse to hold your hand. As the two of you walked and talked, you enjoyed the sight of the lights and bustling street. 

Suddenly, a new voice interrupted the two of you's conversation. Turning around, you saw two guys who looked around your age. They were holding a camera and a microphone.

"Hi!" they said, smiling. "We're interviewing couples in Hongdae, would you guys like to be in it? We’ll blur your faces."

Heeseung glanced your joined hands, then back at the two guys, then back at your hands, "O-Oh, we're not a coupl—"

You cut him off. "Of course, we'd love to!"

You flashed Heeseung a grin, squeezing his hand twice, almost as if to say, 'Just go with it.' His ears began to burn, his neck prickling with warmth, before clearing his throat. "Y-Yeah..." he squeezed your hand, "We'd love to."

The two guys cheered, turning on their camera. "All right, first question. How did you guys meet?"

"We went to middle school together," you were quick to answer. "I thought he was really cute, but we didn't start talking until this year."

You didn't know what the fuck you were saying. Was it risky to be so truthful for an internet interview, right in front of your long-time crush? Absolutely. But your heart was pounding so hard in your chest, simply waiting for Heeseung's response.

On the other hand, Heeseung's mind was in complete shambles. Were you telling the truth? The way you answered so smoothly with absolutely no hesitation made it almost seem natural.

"And you?" the interviewer asked. "What did you think about her when you first met?"

"I—" Heeseung's breath hitched. "I thought she was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen."

The way you glanced at him made Heeseung's heart feel like it was about to fall out. "I.. I still think that."

Your expression was unreadable, your lips pressing into a thin line. Then, a huge smile broke out on your face.

"Awww, Heeeee! I didn't know you thought about me like that!" You squeezed his hand again, and he squeezed it back.

"How long have you guys been together?" the interviewer asked.

"We just started dating!" You answered enthusiastically, a weird, surprised sound coming from Heeseung.

The rest of the interview went smoothly, with you mostly answering the questions. You quietly thanked the interviewers, and you and Heeseung were on your way.

Your words kept ringing in Heeseung's head.

Especially your answer to the question, "Why did you like him?"

You answered, "Because he's so perfect."

Heeseung? Perfect? He couldn't believe his ears! Were you telling the truth?

A calm silence fell over you and Heeseung as you walked the bustling streets of Hongdae. That question lingered in his mind, and before he knew it, his mouth was moving faster than his mind.

"Did you mean anything you said?"

His voice seemed to reverberate against the night air, ringing in his ears. You chewed on your lip. Then, you sucked in a sharp breath.

"Of course, Hee," you finally answered. "If it's you, I mean everything."

Heeseung sucked his bottom lip into his teeth, biting down so hard he drew blood. Once again, his hands found home on the hem of his jacket draped over you. 

"Good." He couldn't meet your eyes, not with the knowledge that you meant everything you said. He forced his attention onto the hem of the leather jacket that you were wearing, too shy to look at you. 

Heeseung only looked up when he felt your thumb pressing against his lip, eyes widening.

"Don't bite your lip too hard, Hee," you said, a smile in your voice. You thumb swiped against his lip, wiping off the small blotch of blood on it. "You'll bleed, and I'll have to kiss it better."

Heeseung's tongue darted out to swipe over his bleeding lip, brushing against your thumb. "What if I want you to kiss it better?"

"Well, then you better not keep me waiting."

His eyes flickered to your lips. He wanted to kiss them so bad. They looked so soft. What would they taste like? You liked strawberries— maybe they'd taste like that. When he didn't say or do anything, you changed the topic, unable to hide the disappointment in your face.

"Did you mean it?" You asked. "When you said that I was the most beautiful person you'd ever seen?"

"Oh my god, yes," Heeseung said under his breath, eyes still trained on your lips. "Always."

Another silence fell of you two, simply getting lost in each other's eyes. Maybe it was something in the Hongdae air, but Heeseung felt brave. His hand slithered to your waist, bringing you closer to him. When you slid your hands up his chest, resting them on his shoulders, Heeseung audibly gulped. Your faces inched closer and closer, until you could feel his breath against your cheek. You wanted to lean in and close the gap so bad. And you could tell that he wanted to, too.

Just as you were about to, however, the sound of a car honking and tires screeching interrupted you. Heeseung instinctively pulled away, his head whipping around to look at the commotion.

Oh hell no.

You were not going to let that stop you.

You snatched Heeseung's hand, before pulling him with you. You don't know how much you ran, or for how long, but you ran and ran until you found an empty alleyway.

You pushed him against the hard, concrete wall, a bit harsher than you expected too. Holding him by his shoulders, you put all your weight on him, caging him against the wall.

"You'd let me kiss you, right?" you rasped, out of breath.

Heeseung, also breathless, stared at you, lips parted. 

"I thought I already said," he breathed, "Do whatever you want. You're pretty."

With that, you crashed your lips onto his. His lips were soft, a little chapped. It felt so surreal. The scent of his cologne made you feel dizzy. When you pulled away, it was evident that he was feeling the same as you were. 

It was a chaste kiss, but the tension was so thick in the air. Somehow, that made it even more intimate.

"Wow..." was all Heeseung could utter. Under the moonlight, with you pressed up against him, you looked so goddamn pretty. Your face was illuminated with the pale light, making you look like an angel. Was he in heaven? Did he die yet? He wouldn't mind if he died right then and there, now that you (you!) kissed him. "Fuck, you're gonna kill me, [Name]."

"But you'd like it, right? Because I'm so pretty." The teasing tone in your voice would normally make Heeseung melt, but all he could do was grin. 

"You know I would."

The rest of the night, you and Heeseung don't kiss anymore. Not because you guys didn't want to kiss, but because the adrenaline wore off, and now the both of you were shy. It was almost comical, the way both of you completely reverted back to your bashful and sheepish selves, barely able to make eye-contact with each other.

"Thank you for tonight, Hee," you hummed, as you and Heeseung walked to the train station, hand-in-hand. "I had a lot of fun."

He scanned your face. The slight curve on your lips (oh god, your lips, the way the corner of your lip had a smudge of lipstick from kissing him earlier —how badly he wanted to kiss them again) was contagious. "Of course. I had a lot of fun, too."

The train ride back was quiet. You eventually began dozing off, resting your head on his shoulder.

"You did what?!" was the collective reaction of both you and Heeseung's friends. After that Friday together, you called together all of your friends to your house, to spill the beans. Likewise, Heeseung forced every single one of his friends into his living room.

"Ouuu, you little flirt!" Yunjin exclaimed. Currently, Yunjin, Winter, Hitomi, Yuri, and Minju were seated on your bedroom floor, while you dramatically flopped around on your bed. 

It was now that you explained to your friends your long-time crush on Heeseung, much to their pleasant surprise.

"And then what happened?" Minju asked, filing her finger-nails. "Did you profess your undying love for him?"

You groaned into your pillow. "I can't!"

"Why not?" Winter quirked a brow. "You guys literally kissed."

You let out another groan. "What if he doesn't like me like that?"

Your friends deadpanned.

Heeseung Lee didn't like you. He loved you. They would know better than anyone.

"[Name], honey, you're overthinking it," Yuri nudged you with her foot. "He gave you his jacket. I think that says enough."

"Well, what if I'm just getting ahead of myself and he's just being nice?"

"Girl..."

Heeseung had a similar reaction.

All of his friends stared at him like he just punched their grandmothers.

"You can't be serious right now, hyung..." Sunghoon said, pinching his nose-bridge.

All of his friends were piled onto one couch, while Heeseung laid out on the one across from them, almost like they were in a therapy session. 

"What if she just thinks I'm a good friend?" Heeseung used his hands to speak, theatrically moving them.

"What makes you think that?" Sunoo asked incredulously. 

Heeseung groaned. "[Name] tells Yuri Jo that she wants to marry her and they're good friends."

"Okay, and?"

"Well," Heeseung huffed. "What if [Name] kissed me because she sees me the same way that she sees Yuri?"

"Well, I'm good friends with Jungwon-hyung and I don't kiss him," Riki said matter-of-factly.

"Right..." Jungwon nodded his head slowly. "Hyung, do you really think a good friend would pin you against a wall and kiss you?"

"Do you think a good friend would kiss you three times and then call you cute like a bajillion other times?!" Jake chimed in.

"Let alone choose to keep your jacket?!" Jay sounded tired.

Heeseung clasped his hands together, thinking for a few moments.

"Yes."

All of his friends groaned in defeat.

"You're hopeless."

After a lot of urging and cross-communication between friend-groups, both of your friends managed to convince both you and Heeseung to confess to each other the next Monday.

"What if I faint the moment she says my name?" Heeseung catastrophized to Jay in the school bathroom. 

"Uh, I doubt that, hyung."

Heeseung texted you to meet him under the stairwell, and that was when he was going to confess. On your end, the moment that he texted that, you decided that you'd confess to him then.

When the time came, Heeseung headed out to the stairwell. His hands were clammy, and even when he wiped him on his uniform pants, he couldn't stop the trembling of his hands. What if everyone was instilling false hope in him? Gosh, Heeseung thought he was going to throw up. His stomach was churning, he was going to collapse if he saw you right now—

"Hee?" Your voice broke him out of his internal spiral. Seemingly, there was a halo around you, a light so bright that Heeseung was blinded.

"H-Hi," he stammered, straightening out his posture and clearing his throat.

Your hands were clasped behind your back, leaning forward toward him. "You wanted to talk to me, yeah?"

Heeseung couldn't bring himself to meet your gaze, his shoes suddenly becoming interesting. "Y-Yeah..."

The hallway where the stairwell was located was beginning to feel stuffy. Heeseung had never felt so nervous in his life. He was light-headed, barely able to even balance himself.

"Hee," you reached out to touch his arm, noticing his discomfort. "Let's go outside, okay?"

Going outside should have helped him cool down, but when you shrugged on his leather jacket to combat the cool air, Heeseung realized that there was no way in hell that he was going to get through this confession without dropping dead. 

The two of you walked around the school yard for a few minutes in silence. 

How should he start this confession? He had Sunghoon and Jake write out a script for him, and he spent the entire night memorizing it, but now in your presence he couldn't remember a single word. Should he have written a letter like Yuri Jo? Heeseung couldn't possibly contain himself.

"Hee," you finally said, disrupting the silence. "I have something to tell you."

Heeseung's mind wandered to the worst case scenario. 

You're going to tell him that you're moving across the world to marry the love of your life, aren't you? You're going to say that he's a great friend and that you just got a boyfriend, right? 

No, he needed to tell you his feelings first! If he didn't now, he'd never, and he'd burst into a million pieces!

"M-Me too!" he blurted, stopping in his tracks. 

You blinked at him, then smiled.

Oh, no! It's actually happening!

He could already hear your voice saying, "Hi, Heeseung, my boyfriend just proposed to me and you're invited to the wedding."

You sucked in a breath, parting your lips to speak.

He needed to tell you first! The little demons in his head kept replaying the scene of you asking him to be your groom of honor at your wedding with the love of your life next Saturday. He could hear the marriage officiant announcing, “I now pronounce you husband and wife” at your wedding, and he imagined himself sitting in that little wedding venue holding back tears.

Oh my god, he needed to say it now, or he'll never say it ever!

"Hee, I really--"

Heeseung cut you off. He squeezed his eyes shut, hands balling into fists.

"I like you, [Name]!" he yelled.

.

.

.

You stared at him in disbelief. Or were you flustered? Heeseung couldn't tell. With too much adrenaline in his veins, Heeseung threw away all the preparation and drafted scripts he and his friends made for this very moment.

"I-I.. I like you so much, I'm scared that I'm going to explode!" Heeseung continued shouting at you. He had no idea what he was saying. All he was doing was telling you the thoughts he'd had about you all this time. "You're so, so, so pretty and I can't believe that you're an actual, real, physical, person, and you make me feel so fucking stupid, I can't take it."

Your eyes were bulging out of your head at this point, your jaw dropped. 

"I've never liked anyone like I've liked you, a-and I just wanted to tell you this before you... you go off with someone else!"

Heeseung kept his eyes shut when he was done confessing, letting out a labored breath. There was no way that he could face you. The silence that fell over the two of you made Heeseung's heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. He squeezed his eyes in embarrassment. He gripped the hem of his shirt to relieve the bubbling anxiety inside him. Gosh, he was going to puke.

After a few moments, nothing happened. You didn't say a word. Did you just leave him there standing? Of course, you did. You were probably too kind and angelic to outright reject him. He was a fool to think that he had a chance with you—

Heeseung heard footsteps, and before he could react, he felt a pair of lips on his.

His eyes shot open.

You.

Were.

Kissing.

Him.

!!!

After he confessed!

Poor boy was so stiff, eyes wide.

Did that mean you liked him back?

You pulled away.

Usually, you had a reassuring smile on your face by default. Even during times where you were embarrassed, you almost never showed it on your face.

But this time, your entire face was painted with a flustered expression. Your cute lips jutted out in a mini pout, while your eyes were glued to the ground, avoiding his gaze.

A few pulses passed.

"I... I like you, too... by the way," you murmured.

Another few pulses passed.

You. Liked. Him.

Nonononono wait, was he dreaming?

You.

YOU.

The beautiful, angelic you. 

Liked him.

Without thinking, Heeseung stepped forward, gently grabbing your face.

"You're real, right?" he breathed. When glossy eyes stared back at him, Heeseung felt warmth spread across his chest. Your lips looked so appealing right now, he was craving them again. "I'm not dreaming, yeah?"

You blinked at him a few times. The corners of your lips quirked upward.

"Why, because I'm 'so pretty that you can't believe I'm real?' " your voice had a teasing tone in it, referencing his earlier confession. Heeseung chuckled, letting go of your face so that he could slide his hands to where they belonged: around your waist.

"Just kiss me," he mumbled, looking at you with lidded eyes.

You grinned. "Gladly."

With that, you smashed your lips onto his. Instead of the chaste, soft, kisses that you shared earlier, this one was different. You shoved your tongue into Heeseung's mouth, exploring all its crevices. Poor boy was so surprised that he squeezed your waist, letting out a small whine. The feeling of you smirking against his lips gave him butterflies.

You finally pulled away breathless, but gave him no time to breathe. You grasped his chin, giving you easy control. 

"You drive me so crazy," he murmured against the shell of your ear.

You pressed a kiss at the juncture between his neck and ear. "I drive you crazy?" you cocked your brow.

"You," you muttered. You began pressing kisses down his jaw. 

“Drive.” 

Kiss.

“Me.” 

Kiss. 

“So-” 

Kiss.

"Fucking-" 

Kiss.

"Crazy."

Before you could pounce on him with more kisses, Heeseung, red in the face, flopped over you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. He let out a cute groan.

"What, are you getting shy on me?" you teased him, running your fingers through his hair. He shook his head against your shoulder, making you coo.

"I can't believe you like me back, that's all," he mumbled, muffled by your shoulder. 

You laughed. "How? I feel like I was so obvious."

Heeseung looked up at you with pink cheeks, frowning. "You don't even want to know how hopelessly in love with you I was."

You quirked a brow at him. 

"Yeah?" You pecked his forehead. "Try me."

Heeseung let out a breathy chuckle. He attacked your lips.

"How about I show you?"

FIN.

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated :)

---

nevertheless…

PAIRING... heeseung x reader | GENRE... established relationship! au, fluff, humor, romance | WC... 0.4k | "there’s no freaking way."

“seungie~” you drawl on, excitedly hopping into your boyfriend’s room. 

he hums in response, eyes still focused on the screen in front of him. you pay no heed to him, instead plopping down on his plush bed. however, in your hands lies a precious item. 

“i finally got your new album!” 

this time heeseung turns to look at you, amused at your excitement. he cocks an eyebrow, “oh really?”

you nod vigorously, hands scratching at the plastic wrap. 

“i wanted to open it with you.” 

he chuckles, “i hope you like it.” 

“of course i’m gonna like you,” you roll your eyes while taking off the cover. nothing beat the smell and feel of a fresh album—especially your boyfriend’s, at that. 

heeseung’s attention returns to his game as you flip through the photobook, occasionally letting out sounds of approval and awe. 

it’s not until you dramatically clap a hand over your mouth that heeseung finally stops his game. 

“there’s no freaking way.” 

even though your voice is muffled, heeseung can hear the evident shock. he immediately takes off his headphones, controller falling to the floor. 

“what? baby, what is it?” 

you look up—was that tears in your eyes?—before scrambling off the bed. 

his eyes narrow before they focus in on what was in your hand. 

“is that-“

“i got jungwon’s photocard!” you dance around the room, happiness clearly present on your face and by your actions. 

your boyfriend (not jungwon) is left speechless. 

it’s been five minutes and you haven’t stopped staring at the photocard.  

“i think i’m gonna put it in the back of my phone case…”

“baby?”

“or should i just leave it-“

“baby!” 

heeseung’s voice startles you. he usually never raised his voice. 

“yeah?” 

he pinches his nose bridge in disbelief before speaking up, “are you serious?”

you look at him straight in the eyes, “uh, yeah. why?” 

heeseung lets out a deep sigh like he’s been at sea for 40 years. “you’re that happy that you got a jungwon photocard?”

you look at him sheepishly, “if it makes you feel any better, i got your postcard?” 

he can only blink. and then laugh at the situation, shaking his head. whatever made you happy, he supposed. 

your boyfriend gets up to kiss your forehead. “fine. congrats on pulling jungwon, i guess. as long as he doesn’t replace me in real life.” 

you scoff, “as if. i got the real deal—the whole package! you’re way better than the blurry half-face selfies you post in bed for the fans.” 

heeseung bursts out laughing, staring at you fondly. “i’ll take that as a compliment.” 

you place a small peck on his shoulder, “good. because i lied.”

heeseung frowns, “what?” 

“i got jake’s postcard, not yours...”

“that son of a-“

a/n ▸ can you tell i wrote this ages ago for enha’s cb 💀💀 anyways, i just wanted to say thank you x928384 for 2000 followers like WHAT i am eternally in shock..!! i never thought i would have made it this far when i first joined, so im immensely grateful and ily all❤️

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help he's so cute 🥺💗

SLEEPING HEESEUNG IS THE CUTEST 🥹🫶

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© 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗲 do not edit/crop logo

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this was so cute 😭💗

ꕥ lucky fan; — heeseung one shot, wc: 2.0k, genre: fluff

heeseung’s older brother didn’t expect to make a close friend when you transferred to korea university, but your arrival in his class changed that. you were bright, easy to talk to, and had an infectious enthusiasm that made even the dullest lectures more interesting. as you got to know each other, he learned about your life, your interests, and, amusingly, your deep admiration for enhypen—specifically, his younger brother, heeseung.

when you confided in him that watching the first two episodes of i-land had made you cry—something that had never happened with an idol before—he couldn’t help but chuckle. it was endearing, but he kept the information to himself, never teasing you about it, just quietly noting it.

one day, heeseung mentioned to his brother that he had some free time and suggested they hang out. an idea formed in his mind, a way to bring a little joy to your life. he invited you to hang out, like many times before, but didn’t tell you that heeseung would be joining. it would be a fun surprise.

when you arrived at the restaurant, your upperclassman guided you to a private room, which made you pause for a moment. “is there a special occasion or something? this setup feels a bit fancy,” you joked.

he smiled, shaking his head. “nah, nothing like that. i guess my brother’s a bit on the shier side.”

you nodded, accepting his explanation, and settled in. the two of you ordered, and your upperclassman was slightly surprised when you managed to pick out dishes he knew heeseung would love. you even insisted on ordering ramen, which made him smile to himself, knowing how much his brother appreciated it.

as you chatted, the door slid open, and you glanced up, your heart nearly stopping when you saw heeseung standing there. for a moment, you thought he must have gotten the wrong room, but then he greeted your upperclassman happily and took a seat. the shock was evident on your face, and you quickly looked away, cheeks burning with embarrassment.

heeseung seemed just as surprised to see you. “i didn’t know you invited someone else,” he said, glancing between you and his brother.

your upperclassman grinned, sensing the tension and introducing you two. “heeseung, this is y/n. she’s a huge fan.”

you felt your face flush with embarrassment, and you managed a shy smile. “it’s really nice to meet you,” you said, your voice a little shaky.

heeseung smiled, his lips curving into a grin. “thanks for your support.”

as the food arrived, you stayed quiet, letting the brothers catch up. heeseung’s older brother noticed this and decided to pull you into the conversation, mentioning that you and heeseung were the same age.

“really?” heeseung asked, looking at you with interest. “we should drop the formalities then. it’s more comfortable that way.”

you stammered, “you don’t have to—i mean, it’s okay.”

he chuckled, shaking his head. “no, really, i’d prefer it. any friend of my brother’s is a friend of mine.”

your upperclassman added, “you know, y/n is studying neuroscience. she’s pretty amazing.”

you blushed at the compliment and waved it off. “i’m just trying to keep up with my classes, honestly.”

heeseung’s eyes lit up with interest. “neuroscience? that sounds intense. what got you into that field?”

as you explained your fascination with the brain and how it worked, sharing a little about your studies and research, heeseung listened intently, his gaze focused on you. it was clear that he was genuinely interested in what you had to say.

“that’s really cool,” heeseung said, nodding thoughtfully. “i’ve always thought about how much mental strength it takes to perform on stage and how the brain plays a role in that. it must be amazing to learn about it in depth.”

you smiled, surprised by his insight. “it is. i’ve actually thought about how the brain processes music and performance, too. it’s fascinating how much is involved.”

your upperclassman chimed in, teasing, “maybe you two should team up and do some research together.”

you laughed, feeling more at ease now. “i’m sure heeseung has enough on his plate without me adding to it.”

heeseung chuckled, shaking his head. “actually, i think it would be fun to learn more about what you do. maybe i can pick your brain sometime.”

“anytime,” you replied, grinning. “though i’m sure you have more interesting things to focus on.”

heeseung leaned in slightly, his eyes warm and inviting. “trust me, this is interesting. besides, i could use a break from the usual routine.”

your upperclassman nodded in agreement, adding, “i’ve heard that sometimes a change of pace is the best way to refresh your mind.”

heeseung smiled. “exactly. and who knows? maybe learning about neuroscience could help me with my music.”

“now that’s something i’d love to see,” you said, your voice filled with genuine enthusiasm. “heeseung’s neuroscience-influenced album.”

the three of you laughed, the conversation flowing easily now. the initial awkwardness had melted away, replaced by a comfortable camaraderie. you found yourself sharing more stories, and even though you tried to stay composed, the warmth in heeseung’s gaze made it hard not to feel a little flustered.

“i’ve got to say,” heeseung said, his tone turning more playful, “you’ve got great taste in food. everything you ordered is exactly what i would’ve picked.”

you laughed, relieved that he liked the selections. “really? i was just going with what i know is good.”

your upperclassman raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips. “she’s got a knack for that. you should trust her next time you’re out.”

heeseung grinned. “i think i will.”

as the meal continued, your upperclassman decided to push things a little further and ordered some soju to help everyone relax. you hesitated at first, but heeseung smiled at you, encouraging you to join them.

“come on, just one shot,” heeseung urged, his tone light. “it’ll help you relax.”

reluctantly, you agreed, sending a playful glare at your upperclassman, who seemed very pleased with himself. after a few shots, the atmosphere lightened even more, and you found yourself more comfortable, laughing and joking with the two brothers.

“that reminds me,” your upperclassman said with a mischievous grin, “did you know y/n cried for you during i-land? she told me it was the first time she’d ever cried over an idol.”

you kicked him under the table, feeling your cheeks burn with embarrassment. “you didn’t have to say that,” you muttered, trying to hide your face.

heeseung’s eyes softened, clearly touched by the confession. before he could respond, you, tipsy from the soju, began praising him earnestly, talking about how much his hard work and talent meant to you. heeseung listened, his smile growing warmer with each word.

“i remember watching you struggle, and it made me realize how much you care about what you do,” you rambled, your words coming out more freely now. “it wasn’t just about winning—it was about doing your best, and that really inspired me.”

heeseung looked down, a bit shy but clearly moved by your words. “thank you. that means a lot.”

feeling bolder, he reached over and gently squeezed your hand, sending your heart racing. you blushed deeply, though the alcohol’s flush helped hide it.

sensing that the evening was going well, your upperclassman excused himself to the restroom, leaving you alone with heeseung. the idol turned his full attention to you, asking more about your life and studies.

as you explained your major in neuroscience, heeseung listened intently, his deer-like eyes fixed on you. his genuine interest made you feel special, and you couldn’t stop yourself from blurting out, “your eyes are really beautiful.”

this time, it was heeseung’s turn to blush. “thank you,” he murmured, looking a bit shy. “you’re… really pretty too.”

at that moment, his brother returned, quickly noticing the new closeness between you two. with a mischievous glint in his eye, he suggested going to a coin karaoke place, and heeseung eagerly agreed.

though you hesitated, wanting to give the brothers time to themselves, heeseung grabbed your hand, looking at you with round, pleading eyes. “please come with us,” he asked softly.

unable to resist, you nodded, and the three of you headed to the karaoke. you watched in awe as heeseung sang, his voice even more beautiful live. after a few songs, he handed you the mic, insisting you sing. you tried to resist, claiming you weren’t any good, but he persisted.

finally, you relented, choosing adele’s “all i ask,” your go-to karaoke song. as you sang, heeseung found himself mesmerized, his thoughts drifting to how lucky his brother was to spend time with you. the way your voice carried the emotion of the song captured his attention entirely, and he found himself leaning in closer as you sang the final notes.

when you finished, heeseung was the first to clap, his cheers the loudest in the room. “that was amazing,” he said, his voice filled with genuine admiration. “you’re really talented.”

your cheeks flushed from the praise, and you tried to hand the mic back to him, but he shook his head, a playful smile on his lips.

at that moment, his brother, with a mischievous grin, suggested, “how about a duet?” he glanced between you and heeseung before adding, “i’ll give you two some time. i need to make a phone call.” he winked and quickly exited the room, leaving you both in a mix of excitement and nerves.

heeseung looked at you, a smile tugging at his lips. “so, duet?”

you hesitated, feeling a bit shy, but the hopeful look in heeseung’s eyes made it impossible to refuse. “alright,” you agreed, “let’s do it.”

the two of you settled on “die with a smile” by lady gaga and bruno mars. as the opening notes played, the room felt charged with an unspoken energy. you exchanged a glance with heeseung, his eyes sparkling with excitement, and began to sing.

as you traded lines, the chemistry between you was undeniable. your voices blended together harmoniously, creating a beautiful mix of tones that filled the room. the connection between you grew with each verse, the intensity of the song amplifying the emotions in the air.

when it came time to sing the chorus together, you couldn’t help but glance at heeseung, your eyes meeting his. the way he looked at you—like you were the only person in the room—sent a thrill down your spine. there was something in his gaze that made your heart skip a beat, something deeper than simple admiration.

heeseung’s voice wrapped around yours like a warm embrace, and you felt the intensity of the moment build as you reached the climax of the song. when you hit the high note, heeseung smiled, his eyes never leaving yours, and you found yourself smiling back, completely lost in the moment.

as the song ended, you both held the final note a little longer, the room filled with the powerful harmony of your voices. the music faded, and there was a brief moment of silence, the air still buzzing with the energy you’d created. then heeseung broke into applause, his grin wide and genuine.

“you’re incredible,” heeseung said, his voice low and sincere. “that was… wow.”

your heart raced at his words, and you couldn’t help but laugh, feeling a little shy under his intense gaze. “you’re not so bad yourself.”

just then, his brother reentered the room, making a show of catching you two in close proximity. flustered, you both jumped back, waving your hands in denial.

heeseung’s brother only smiled smugly. “no judgment if you two like each other.”

the comment made you both shy, but the night continued with a warm, comfortable atmosphere. when it was time to leave, heeseung’s brother ordered a taxi for you. before you got in, you thanked them for inviting you and told heeseung you’d always support him.

on your way home, you relished the memories you’d made when your phone buzzed with a text from an unknown number. it was heeseung.

i got your number from my brother. i hope that’s okay?

you smiled widely and quickly replied that it was fine. heeseung responded, saying how much he enjoyed your company and that he’d like to see you again whenever he could. your heart fluttered as you agreed, already looking forward to the next time you’d see him.

disclaimer: this, in no way, reflects the idol. this is purely fiction. a/n: i watched heeseung's en-log with his brother and thought about how wild it would be to find out your friend's brother is your bias... ✧ comments are appreciated! ✧

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𖠵 . ׅ ࣪ ⌇𝐼𝑇’𝑆 𝐴 𝐷𝐴𝑇𝐸 !

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 𝑆urgeon rival! 𝓁ee 𝒽eeseung x 𝑓! reader 𝒢enre. angst 𝓢ynopsis. in which your rival takes an argument too far ! 𝑤𝑐 𐙚ㅤㅤ 1402 ⸝⸝ not proof read argument surgery mentioned cursing kissing ୭ৎ — 𝓁ibrar𝓎 ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖

PLEASE LIKE & REBLOG ! ໒꒰ྀི ≧ ᗜ ≦ ꒱ྀིა

THE STERILE SCENT OF THE ANTISEPTIC FILLED THE AIR AS YOU SCRUBBED IN FOR ANOTHER GRUELING AND TIRESOME SURGERY.

as a cardiothoracic surgeon at one of the top hospitals in the country, you were used to the high-pressure environment.

however, one thing you could never get used to was working alongside lee heeseung.

heeseung, with his sharp intellect and even sharper tongue, and his annoyingly angelic face— contrasting to his devilish personality was your professional rival.

as much as you hated to admit— he was as brilliant as he was infuriating, and every time your paths crossed, sparks flew—mostly in the form of heated arguments.

today was no different. you glanced at heeseung through the glass of the scrub room, noticing the way his jaw tightened as he prepared for the surgery. — more under cut !

he caught your eye and held your gaze for a moment longer than necessary with a small grin before it faded into a cocky smirk looking away, a silent challenge lingering in the air.

as you walked into the room, you felt yourself immediately grow agitated already at heeseung’s words.

“are you sure you should be near this patient, it would be a shame to put him at risk because of some dumbass with no surgical skills whatsoever..” he finished as the nurses around you sighed at the bickering to come.

“come on lee, you’re annoying everyone in the damn room. shut your pretty mouth and put those hands to use.”

“oh i know how to put these hands to use alright—“

“oh my fucking god, lee heeseun—“

before you could rebuttal, the nurse interrupted.

“um— the patient is under now.. could you do your job and talk about ‘putting those hands to use’ later?”

you winced at how informally you were talking in front of the nurses— lee heeseung sure does bring out the worst in you, alright.

“right… I’m sorry everyone!”

as the surgery began, you fell into the familiar rhythm, focusing on the delicate sutures and balance required to save a life.

the patient, a middle-aged man with severe coronary artery disease, was in an extreme critical condition.

every move had to be precise, every decision planned and flawless.

despite the tension between you and heeseung, both you and heeseung were professionals, completely focused on the task at hand.

the surgery proceeded smoothly until a complication arose—an unexpected tear in the arterial wall.

"we need to act fast," you said, your voice steady despite the panic and urgency.

"i know," heeseung replied tensely. "suction, now!"

you worked in quiet, the room silent except for the beeping of monitors and the soft clink of instruments.

finally, after what felt like an eternity, the crisis was under control, and the patient's condition stabilized.

as you stepped back, heeseung's eyes met yours again.

"good work," he said, but there was no warmth in his tone, only a grudging edge.

he was usually in a positive mood after a surgery had finished, but today something different— cold, almost angry sparked in his bambi eyes, leaving you in a sour mood.

the surgery had taken its toll, and you were completely exhausted.

you headed to the break room, hoping for even a small moment of peace with your growing headache, but heeseung followed you.

you could feel his eyes boring into your back as you poured yourself a cup of coffee.

"do you ever think before you act?" he snapped, breaking the silence.

you turned to face him, frowning at his accusatory tone.

"what are you on about now, lee?"

"if you hadn't hesitated, maybe we wouldn't have had that complication," he said, his words like a slap to the face.

you felt your blood boil. "are you seriously blaming me for that? we both know it was an unpredictable complication."

heeseung's eyes flashed with anger. "maybe if you paid more attention to the patient's history, you would have anticipated it."

“are you kidding me, heeseung? please, i can’t do this today—“

unfortunately, heeseung failed to notice the trembling in your voice and continued the growing argument.

“you can’t do this today? be so serious y/n, that man almost died today— you almost killed that man!”

the argument escalated quickly, voices rising as accusations flew back and forth.

finally, heeseung said something that cut deeper than any scalpel.

"maybe if you were more competent, our patient wouldn't have been at such risk of death because of you and you only!."

the room fell silent. his words hung in the air, heavy and unforgivable.

you felt your throat tighten, tears threatening to spill. without another word, you turned and walked out, leaving heeseung standing there, a look of shock and regret on his face.

days passed, and you avoided heeseung like the plague.

you switched shifts, took your breaks at odd times, and even walked the long way around the hospital to avoid running into him.

you knew it was petty— but you couldn't help it.

his words had hurt more than you wanted to admit.

heeseung, for his part, seemed increasingly frustrated. you could see him out of the corner of your eye, his gaze following you whenever you were in the same room.

he tried to approach you several times, but you always found a way to slip away before he could say anything.

your colleagues noticed the growing tension and ultimately decided on avoiding the two of you in the same room altogether.

it wasn't until you found yourself alone in the on-call room that heeseung had finally managed to corner you.

you were resting on the stiff bunk bed, trying to catch a few minutes of sleep when the door swung open.

to your surprise— heeseung stood in the doorway, his expression a mix of determination and desperation.

“oh, you’ve got to be kidding me—“

"we need to talk, y/n.." he said, closing the door behind him.

you sat up, crossing your arms defensively.

"there's nothing to talk about."

"yes, there is," he insisted, stepping closer.

"look— i didn't mean what i said the other day. i was angry and tired, and i took it out on you. it wasn't fair, and i'm sorry."

you looked away, the hurt still fresh. "you can't just say something like that and expect everything to be okay."

heeseung sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"i know. and i don't expect you to forgive me right away. but it hurts when you ignore me. we work together, and i... i can't stand the thought of you hating me."

you felt a pang of sympathy despite yourself.

"heeseung, it's not that easy. you really hurt me this time."

"i know," he said softly.

"and i'd do anything to make it right. even if it means losing all my dignity saying this."

you couldn't help it—a small giggle escaped your lips.

the idea of the usually stoic heeseung talking about losing his dignity was too much.

heeseung's eyes lit up at the sound, and a soft smile spread across his face.

"there it is," he said gently.

"that's the smile i've missed."

you shook your head, still smiling.

"you're impossible, lee heeseung."

heeseung took a step closer, his expression earnest.

"i mean it. i'm really sorry. can we.. start over?"

you hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

"okay lee. but you owe me."

heeseung grinned. "anything you want. just name it."

"how about a date?" you suggested, your eyes widened, surprising yourself with your boldness.

heeseung's eyes widened in surprise, then softened. "a date? i'd like that."

he reached out, his hand brushing against yours. the touch was warm, comforting.

slowly, he leaned in, his lips nearly touching yours as he looked into your eyes with a gentleness.

“can i…”

“get on with it already, heeseung—“

suddenly his lips crashed against yours, meeting yours in a soft, delicate kiss.

it was gentle, feeling all the unspoken words and feelings from all these years of working together, bickering and the childish arguments.

when you finally pulled away, heeseung was smiling.

"so, about that date... when are you free?"

you giggled, the tension between you finally broken.

"how about tonight after our shift ends?"

"it's a date," he said, his eyes sparkling with genuine happiness and adoration.

as you left the on-call room together, you couldn't help but feel that maybe, just maybe, things would be different from now on.

© won4kiss 2024

taglist open ‹𝟹 @mioons @nshmuras @suneng @pnghoon @shawnyle @greentulip @laylasbunbunny @privareum @briefsaladfun @cyjzzl @sol3chu @txtlyn @d-dilemma @deezbin @pockyyasii @iluvnikism

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wrong place, wrong time.

PAIRING... heeseung x doctor!reader | GENRE... fluff, romance, humor, mentions of hospitals, flirty heeseung | WC... 1kish

“oh my god. he has to be a model. there’s no way-“

“maybe he’s famous…”

“should we ask him for a picture?”

you roll your eyes at the excited chatter coming from the nurses down the hall. who knew what they were gossiping about this time? shoving your hands in your coat pockets, you’re quite literally stopped by the sight of everyone crowded by the front desk.

you frown, taking in their lovestruck expressions. “what’s going on?”

one of the nurses, giselle, quickly squeals and runs over to whisper in your ear. 

“you won’t believe it, doc. the finest man just walked in. his condition seems alright so we’re all trying to figure out what he came in for.”

of course. you let out an exasperated sigh, watching in amusement as everyone fights to be the one to escort him to a room. 

out of pure curiosity, you decide to take a quick glimpse. exactly how handsome could this guy really be?

apparently, very. much. so. 

lee heeseung. early twenties. looks like a member of a famous boy band. has got everyone in close proximity wrapped around his finger.

also, a huge flirt (obviously.) 

the nurses love him, getting any and every chance to bat their eyelashes and flirt back. 

you, on the other hand? 

you’re sure you’ve become a pro at rejecting his advances. 

the first time he came in was for bloodwork. the second time, x-rays. the third time he was “feeling under the weather.” 

honestly, you’re wondering why he visited so often. if anything, most people avoided hospitals.

“hi, dr. y/l/n.”

your lips press together in a thin line. your eyes remain focused on the clipboard in front of you. you weren’t counting but this was, what? 

his fourth time checking in? 

“heeseung. you’re back…again. may i ask why you seem to love the hospital?”

he smirks teasingly, “or maybe why the hospital seems to love me?”

you can’t help but roll your eyes indiscreetly. 

he did it every time. of course, he was friendly with everyone. but heeseung just seemed to go the extra mile around you. 

“i think i ate something bad.”

you quirk an eyebrow, “oh really?”

“i don’t know, maybe it was something the chef cooked?” he responds cheekily. 

you let out a huff of air, one long enough that blows the baby hairs out of your face. “…what did you eat last night?”

“oh, it was delicious,” his eyes bore into you as he continues to ramble on.

“any pain, discomfort, bowel movements?” you interrupt, clicking your pen incessantly. 

“no, just the ache in my heart when you ignore me,” he clutches his chest playfully.

you look up at him with pursed lips. 

“you know what? i think you’re fine and it’s time for you to go.”

you guide heeseung to the front desk to drop him off, about to leave him in the hands of the receptionist. as you’re about to leave, you feel a hand wrap around your wrist. it’s subtle—under the table so no one else can see. 

your body stiffens for a moment, examining his face that holds an unreadable expression. when neither of you utter a single word, you gently pull your arm from his grip when someone calls for you. 

winter’s mouth drops open. “you’re telling me he came back a fourth time? this must be a record.”

ningning nods excitedly, “i mean, there has to be a reason. who do you think he keeps coming back for?”

you almost choke on your water. “you’re saying-?”

she turns to you, eyebrows raised insistently. “there must be a certain someone that catches his eye here.”

“i wish it were me,” giselle sulks as her fork stabs into her food pathetically. 

winter frowns, “you know, he has been really clingy to you, doc.”

you swallow harshly. “huh?”

everyone begins to chime in accordance. 

“yeah, he always asks about you and what you’re doing.”

“he only gets check ups from you, too.”

you scoff, shaking your head slightly. “don’t remind me.”

the three of them pause for a short moment, before their expressions change. you feel fear and apprehension course through your veins. 

“do you not like him? is it because you think he’s so cute?”

“are you interested in him?” their wide eyes and questioning voices makes your mouth dry.

“now that i think about it… y/n’s the only one who doesn’t seem down bad for heeseung.”

you stammer, unable to form a response until your pager goes off. 

“ha-oh. well, that’s my cue!” 

you quickly make your escape in order to hide your flustered expression. 

after you finished your rounds later, you slump into your chair in the cafeteria. the sounds of the conversation from the table next to you drifts over to your ears. 

“do you think it’s because of me? i mean, he always greets me good morning with those dreamy eyes of his.”

your eye twitches. 

“don’t think you’re so special. heeseung waves goodbye to me every time.”

alright, enough of this. you stand up, chair clattering backwards quite loudly, and walk off. you’ve just made it to your office, opening the door, when you freeze.

“heeseung? what are you doing here?”

he immediately smiles from—your eyes narrow—your rolling chair. he rolls closer, a bit too close.

“why do you keep asking when you know the  answer already?”

for a moment, you keep your eyes locked. then you let your professional mode switch off. 

“you really need to stop coming, hee. people are getting ideas,” you chide gently with a ruffle of his hair.

he leans into your touch with a hum, “about you and me?”

you push his head away with a snort, “no. about you and them.” 

with a chuckle, he wraps his arms around your waist. “i’m sorry. i can’t help but miss my baby when you’re practically working all day.”

you soften, “i know. i’m sorry. but this is getting a little out of hand.”

suddenly heeseung gets up, moving closer towards you. “will a kiss make up for it?”

you pretend to think, tapping your foot thoughtfully, “maybe… depends on how good of a kiss.“

he quickly leans in, one arm snaking around your waist while the other cups your cheek. your eyes begin to close. as soon as you feel the ghost of his lips touch yours, the door slides open. 

“doc-“

you immediately push heeseung off of you, startled. and then proceed to shut the door in giselle’s face, quite literally. with panicked whispers, you manage to shove your boyfriend under the desk with a final shh!

about 0.3 seconds later, you slide the door open again. 

giselle stands there, gaping. 

“what was that?!”

“what was what?” you clear your throat nonchalantly, taking a look at your patient’s files. 

“you-he-“ she splutters, “heeseung!” 

“what are you talking about?”

“you’re the one heeseung keeps coming for?”

“doctor y/l/n?!”

you both freeze. the rest of the nurses look from you to giselle and back with shell shocked faces. 

you want to curl up into a ball. this is not how you wanted everyone to find out. given, you didn’t expect your loving boyfriend to visit out of the blue without any context. 

you smile sheepishly. “surprise?”

before you know it, a hand finds its way onto your shoulder. you almost jump before relaxing at the touch. 

“we-we thought- heeseung-“

you bite your lip, as heeseung chuckles. you wanted to keep your personal life and work life separate, but with your job getting so hectic the past couple weeks, you realized you had spent way more time at the hospital than at home. 

immediately, guilt runs through your body. heeseung had always been so sweet and understanding, and seeing him come visit your work really put things in perspective. 

how bad must’ve it been for him to have to go out of his way just to see you? while you kept brushing him off? 

you wrap an arm around his waist, hugging him closer. “guys, this is my boyfriend, heeseung—as most of you already know.”

he looks at you with surprise evident in his eyes. obviously, you weren’t the most open person. 

as everyone watches you two with jaws dropped, you squeeze his hand in hopes he understands. you’re lucky to have heeseung—the most empathetic person you know, because he presses a kiss to your temple. 

“i’m sorry,” you murmur, “no more running away and prioritizing work.”

everyone else in the room fades away as he truly looks you in the eye. 

“i know, baby. i know.”

as you both beam at each other, you’re assured in the love you feel together once more. 

a/n ▸ jae posting two days in a row? that’s crazy

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fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

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prince charming's mismatch

pairing: prince!heeseung x princess!reader

synopsis: you and prince heeseung have been rivals for as long as you can remember. what began as childhood clashes has grown into a deep-seated animosity over the years. but when your sister runs away on her wedding day, you're forced to take her place and marry heeseung—the last person you ever wanted to call your husband.

now bound in an unwanted marriage, you’re faced with navigating the tension between your unresolved hatred and an unexpected attraction. as palace intrigue and looming threats surround you both, you must confront the truth of your feelings. will the bitterness between you tear you apart, or will it ignite something far more powerful?

genre: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, arranged marriage au

warnings: highly suggestive content!!! kissing, hee and reader are mean at first, insecurities, jealous!hee

note: i've been meaning to write this plot for an year now, im happy with how it turned out! e2l with hee is always soo fun to write. enjoyy

word count: 11.5k

royally yours masterlist | next: jay

if you liked it please reblog or comment to give me your feedback! <3

the first time you met prince heeseung, it was at a grand summer garden party hosted by your parents in the palace’s sprawling grounds. you were barely six years old, and he wasn’t much older, yet even then, the air between you crackled with something akin to competition. your governess had dressed you in your finest lace frock, with your hair tied in perfect ribbons, but none of that mattered. you were too busy building a grand sandcastle near the fountain, your little fingers carefully patting the turrets into shape.

that was when heeseung appeared, his shadow falling over your castle like a storm cloud. he crouched beside you without so much as a polite greeting, his royal title apparently excusing his lack of manners. his eyes, sharp for a child, surveyed your handiwork critically.

“that’s not right,” he declared, reaching out to touch one of your towers. “the walls need to be thicker, or it’ll fall.”

you frowned, already bristling at the unsolicited advice. “it’s my castle. i know what i’m doing.”

he smirked, a small, superior thing that made your blood simmer even at that tender age. without asking, he began "fixing" it, his hands too rough as he demolished what you had so carefully crafted.

“stop!” you cried, shoving him back with all the strength your little body could muster. heeseung stumbled, landing awkwardly on the grass, but instead of being chastened, he merely laughed.

“see?” he said, gesturing at the collapsed sandcastle. “i told you it would fall.”

tears of frustration welled in your eyes as you glared at him. “you ruined it! i didn’t ask for your help!”

heeseung stood, dusting off his fine clothes, a boyish smirk still plastered on his face. “you should thank me. i was doing you a favour.”

from that day forward, any time your families met, it was as if an unspoken rule had been established—whenever you were in the same room, you and heeseung would find something to argue about. it didn’t matter if it was who deserved the biggest slice of cake or who could recite their latin conjugations faster; the two of you were constantly at odds.

as the years passed, your mutual disdain only deepened. by the time you were ten, heeseung had already earned a reputation as the golden boy of his kingdom, a future king who excelled in everything he touched. your own accomplishments were always impressive—your parents had ensured you were well-versed in languages, history, and the fine arts—but whenever heeseung was around, it felt as though all your achievements paled in comparison.

“did you hear?” one of your tutors asked one morning as you sat in the drawing room, diligently practising your embroidery. “prince heeseung has been awarded top marks in his studies again. he’s to receive a commendation from the royal academy.”

you didn’t look up, but your needle paused for the briefest of moments. “how wonderful for him,” you muttered, the words heavy with sarcasm.

that evening, at another royal banquet, you couldn’t help but bring up your own accomplishments, eager for even a crumb of recognition.

“i’ve been practising my archery,” you said proudly to the gathered guests, though your eyes couldn’t help but flick toward heeseung, who lounged nearby, looking as regal and aloof as ever. “i managed to hit the bullseye several times this week.”

heeseung glanced up lazily, catching your eye with that familiar, insufferable smirk. “impressive,” he said in a bored tone, “though archery isn’t quite the same as, say, fencing. that requires real skill.”

your fists clenched under the table, your pride wounded by his casual dismissal. but this was the way it always went. no matter what you did, heeseung always found a way to make it seem insignificant, as though he were the sun and you were merely a star dimmed by his brilliance.

by the time you were both teenagers, the animosity between you had grown more complicated, though no less intense. you found yourselves at the same royal gatherings, balls, and court functions, and each time, it was as if the entire room held its breath, waiting to see what you and heeseung would clash over next.

at one particularly grand ball, you had been feeling proud of your debut. you wore a gown of the finest silk, and you’d received more than a few admiring glances from the eligible noblemen in attendance. you were certain this was your night to shine—until heeseung approached.

“you look well enough,” he said, his voice smooth but with an edge that set your teeth on edge. “though i hope you don’t trip during the quadrille like last time.”

your cheeks flushed, remembering all too well the minor misstep you’d taken at a previous ball. “i won’t,” you snapped, glaring at him. “and even if i did, it’s better than fencing yourself into a corner like you did at the tournament last month.”

his smile faltered for just a second, but that was enough to make you feel victorious.

yet, despite the constant barbs, there was something else simmering beneath the surface now—a tension you refused to name. you hated the way your heart raced whenever heeseung was near, the way his presence seemed to fill every corner of a room. and, though you’d never admit it, you hated even more that part of you missed the old days when your squabbles were simple, childish things.

it all changed the day your sister’s engagement to heeseung was announced. the prince who had been your lifelong nemesis was now to become your sister’s husband, the future king of your kingdom. it was a match made for political alliance, but it felt like a betrayal. you had expected more from him—well, not more kindness, but certainly more rebellion. yet, heeseung accepted the engagement with the same cool composure he did everything else.

for the first time in years, he stopped seeking you out, stopped picking those fights you had come to expect. he no longer bothered with sharp remarks or smug smiles. instead, he kept his distance, as though you were beneath his notice.

you told yourself it didn’t matter. after all, what did you care if heeseung ignored you now? he was going to be your brother-in-law, and that was enough reason to keep things civil. and yet, a strange, hollow feeling settled in your chest whenever you saw him and your sister together. he was colder now, more mature, but somehow more distant than ever.

little did you know, your rivalry with prince heeseung was far from over. if anything, it was only just beginning.

the night your world fell apart, it started with a simple knock on your chamber door. the palace had been abuzz with preparations—florists arranging garlands, tailors hemming gowns, and courtiers whispering about the grand union that would strengthen two kingdoms. you had spent the evening rehearsing your duties as maid of honour, biting back any remnants of bitterness that still clung to your feelings about the match. it didn’t matter that you had spent your entire life despising heeseung; your sister loved him, or at least, she was supposed to.

you were preparing to retire, brushing your hair by the dim glow of candlelight, when your sister slipped into the room, her face pale and eyes wide with fear. you’d never seen her look so frantic. your heart sank before she even said a word.

“i’m not going to marry him,” she whispered, wringing her hands in the folds of her silk nightgown. her voice trembled, but it was steady enough for you to know she wasn’t joking.

your heart lurched. “what are you talking about? the wedding is tomorrow!”

her wide eyes darted to the door as if she feared someone might overhear. she leaned in closer, gripping your wrist with trembling fingers. “i can’t marry heeseung,” she said urgently. “i don’t love him. i’m leaving tonight.”

the words hit you like a physical blow. “you’re what?”

“i’m eloping,” she said, her voice firmer now, as if saying it out loud gave her courage. “with lucien.”

lucien. you barely knew the man, a minor noble from another court, but he had charmed your sister quickly. he was handsome and witty, but far beneath her station. you stared at her, disbelief mixing with fury.

“lucien? are you mad? you can’t just abandon your duty for—”

“for love?” she interrupted, her voice rising in defiance. “yes, i can. i won’t be trapped in a loveless marriage with a man who cares nothing for me.”

you swallowed hard, your mind racing. heeseung, distant and cold as he had been with you, had shown no signs of affection for your sister either, but this was bigger than personal feelings. the marriage was political, a union meant to secure alliances, peace, and power. your sister fleeing would bring nothing but chaos.

“you’ll ruin everything,” you whispered, your voice thick with the weight of the consequences. “our families, the kingdoms—this is bigger than you.”

her eyes softened with a mix of guilt and determination. “i know. but i can’t live my life for duty, not like this.” she stood, gathering a small satchel you hadn’t noticed before, already packed and ready for her escape.

“you won’t stop me, will you?” she asked, her gaze pleading.

you wanted to scream, to shake her out of this madness, but your throat tightened. she was your sister. you loved her. and you knew, deep down, that nothing you said would change her mind.

“i should,” you said, your voice quiet, brittle. “but no. i won’t.”

your sister smiled, a fragile, relieved thing, before pulling you into a tight embrace. the hug felt final, like the end of something neither of you could come back from. when she finally let go, you stood frozen in the middle of her room as she slipped out the window and into the night, her footsteps fading into the shadows.

the palace remained blissfully unaware of the catastrophe until morning, when your mother’s scream shattered the early dawn peace.

the palace was in chaos the next morning. servants rushed through the halls, panic etched on their faces as whispers spread like wildfire—the bride had run away. you stayed in your chambers as long as possible, trying to gather your thoughts, your emotions, trying to prepare for the inevitable fallout.

when the summons came from your father, it felt like a death knell. the walk to the throne room felt endless, each step heavier than the last. the moment you stepped through the grand doors, you saw heeseung standing beside your parents. his face was a mask of icy calm, but his eyes…his eyes were darker than you’d ever seen them, cold and unforgiving.

he didn’t even glance at you as your father spoke.

“your sister has disgraced this family,” your father’s voice boomed, his tone laced with anger and disappointment. “but the marriage cannot be abandoned. the alliance with heeseung’s kingdom is too important.”

you stood still, your stomach churning as you braced for what was coming.

“therefore,” your father continued, his gaze hard as stone, “you will take her place.”

for a moment, the words didn’t register. you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. you? marry heeseung? no, it wasn’t possible. you had spent your entire life in a silent war with him. the idea of marrying the man who had been your nemesis since childhood was unthinkable.

your mother’s voice, soft but firm, broke the silence. “the arrangements have already been made. the wedding will proceed as planned. you will become heeseung’s bride.”

“no.” the word slipped from your lips before you could stop it, your heart racing. “i can’t.”

your father’s eyes narrowed, and your mother’s expression hardened with disappointment. “you will do your duty,” your father said coldly. “this is not up for discussion.”

duty. it always came down to that. your entire life, you had been prepared for moments like this, but not this moment. not like this.

finally, you turned to heeseung, desperate for any sign of protest, for him to say something—anything—that would stop this madness. but he was silent. his face remained expressionless, as though none of this affected him. he looked at you as if you were just a piece of the puzzle, another part of the kingdom’s grand design.

“is that all i am to you?” you asked, your voice shaking. “just a replacement? a stand-in for the bride who ran away?”

for the first time, heeseung’s gaze met yours, and for a brief moment, something flickered in his eyes—something unreadable, buried deep beneath the coldness. but his words cut through you like ice.

“you’re a princess,” he said, his voice quiet but sharp. “your role is to serve your kingdom. that’s all that matters.”

a bitter laugh escaped your throat. “you’ve hated me for years, heeseung. and now you expect me to just—what? pretend none of that matters?”

his jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond. instead, he turned away, his indifference stinging more than any of the insults you had traded over the years.

your father spoke again, his tone final. “the marriage will happen. prepare yourself.”

the grand hall was suffused with the glow of flickering candles and soft sunlight filtering through stained glass windows. the scent of fresh roses—your sister’s favourite, not yours—hung heavily in the air, mocking the gravity of the moment. you stood at the entrance of the hall, your hands clenched so tightly around the bouquet that your knuckles were white. the murmurs of the courtiers echoed around you, a constant hum of speculation and judgement. no matter how well you carried yourself today, the whispers wouldn’t stop.

the switch of the bride was the scandal of the century, and you were at the centre of it.

ahead of you, heeseung stood tall, his face as unreadable as stone. the same detachment was in his eyes, his expression cool and composed as if this marriage was merely another political manoeuvre for him, another step toward the throne. he didn’t look at you with warmth, or even a hint of care. to him, you weren’t his wife—you were the replacement for the woman who had run away.

you walked down the aisle, every step heavier than the last, the reality of your situation crushing you. heeseung’s gaze was steady as you approached, but it wasn’t the gaze of a man looking at his bride. it was a look of cold calculation, a man who had resigned himself to duty.

when you finally reached him, your heart thudding loudly in your chest, you barely registered the priest's words. the vows—sacred, binding—felt hollow, like a cruel twist of fate. how could you stand here, repeating the words meant for your sister? they weren't meant for you. you were never supposed to be the bride.

heeseung took your hand, and the warmth of his skin was a sharp contrast to the chill that ran down your spine. his grip was firm, not gentle, but not cruel either—just dutiful. he spoke his vows with a steady voice, each word sounding rehearsed, as though they meant nothing to him beyond their formality.

and then it was your turn. you hesitated, the weight of the kingdom on your shoulders, your pulse quickening. your voice trembled slightly as you repeated the vows, feeling the eyes of everyone in the hall on you—expecting you to fulfil your role, to be the perfect princess. you could barely choke out the words, but somehow, you managed. and with every word, you felt the invisible chains of your new life tightening around you.

when the priest finally pronounced you husband and wife, heeseung’s lips brushed yours in the briefest of kisses—so cold and devoid of feeling that it felt more like a business transaction than the union of two people. the cheers of the court erupted around you, but in that moment, the applause sounded like the closing of a cage. you were trapped, bound to him, to this life.

as you turned to leave the altar, heeseung offered his arm, the tension between you palpable. his eyes flickered to yours for a brief moment, but there was no warmth there. just that cold, resigned look you had grown accustomed to. you were both playing your roles, just as you had been trained to do your whole lives.

but this wasn’t a game. this was your future, and it felt like a noose tightening around your neck.

the wedding feast had been a blur—a cacophony of forced smiles, hollow congratulations, and polite toasts that masked the underlying tension. you had barely spoken a word to heeseung throughout the entire affair. he hadn’t made any attempt to speak to you either, remaining as distant and composed as ever.

now, as you stood alone in the chambers that were to be yours and heeseung’s, the reality of your new life settled heavily on your chest. the palace chambers were far too quiet, the air thick with the tension that had been building between you and heeseung for years. as you stood in the centre of the room, staring at the enormous bed draped in rich fabrics, it felt like the walls were closing in. the room was elegantly decorated—ornate tapestries hung on the walls, and the grand four-poster bed was fit for a queen. but none of it mattered. the splendour felt like a mockery of the situation you found yourself in. tonight, this room was not a sanctuary but a gilded cage.

your breath caught in your throat as the door creaked open. heeseung entered, his presence commanding even in the subdued candlelight. the tension between you was palpable, stretching like a thin, fragile thread that could snap at any moment. his gaze flicked toward you briefly, but he didn’t speak, and the silence that followed was suffocating.

heeseung moved with practised grace, his movements calm and deliberate. he began undoing the buttons on his ceremonial jacket, the fine fabric sliding off his shoulders and landing in a careless heap on the chair by the vanity. you stood frozen, unsure of what to say, what to do. this wasn’t how you had imagined a wedding night would feel—though you had never dreamed this night would be with heeseung, of all people.

his back was to you now, his broad shoulders tense, though he did nothing to betray any emotion. you could feel the distance between you both, even though he was just across the room. heeseung had always been composed, guarded, but tonight, his coldness cut even deeper than usual.

he finally broke the silence, his voice low but steady. “it’s late. you should rest.” there was no affection in his tone, just the same sense of duty that had hung over the entire day. you weren’t his bride by choice, and he wasn’t your husband by desire.

you bit back a bitter laugh. rest? as if you could simply close your eyes and pretend this was normal. pretend that this marriage was something other than a trap. “is that it, then?” you asked, your voice sharper than intended. “we go to bed and pretend everything is fine?”

heeseung turned to face you, his expression as unreadable as ever. he didn’t answer right away, as if weighing his response carefully. “what do you want me to say?” his tone was measured, but there was an edge to it, a hint of frustration that matched your own.

“i don’t know,” you admitted, your voice trembling with the weight of your emotions. “this wasn’t supposed to happen. i wasn’t supposed to marry you.”

something flickered in heeseung’s eyes, though it disappeared as quickly as it came. he regarded you for a moment, his gaze unreadable, before he spoke again. “do you think i wanted this?” his words were quiet but laced with a bitterness that surprised you. “i didn’t ask for this any more than you did.”

you swallowed, feeling a lump rise in your throat. you hadn’t expected this admission from him, hadn’t expected him to show any vulnerability. “then what are we supposed to do?” your voice was softer now, the anger ebbing away, replaced by uncertainty. “how are we supposed to live like this?”

heeseung sighed, running a hand through his hair, a rare moment of frustration breaking through his calm facade. “we do what’s expected of us,” he said, though there was a heaviness to his words, as if he was trying to convince himself as much as you. “we fulfill our duties. that’s all we can do.”

“duties.” the word tasted bitter on your tongue. it had always come down to that, hadn’t it? duty to the crown, to the kingdom, to your family. and now, duty to heeseung.

the silence stretched on, thick and uncomfortable. heeseung turned away, moving toward the window where the heavy drapes framed the view of the darkened palace gardens. his silhouette was stark against the faint glow of moonlight, his posture stiff, almost defensive.

after a long moment, he spoke again, his voice softer this time. “i’ll sleep over there.” he gestured to the chaise near the window, a fine piece of furniture that now seemed woefully out of place in this awkward, tension-filled room. “you can have the bed.”

you blinked, surprised by his offer. it was the last thing you expected from him, but it was a relief nonetheless. “you don’t have to—”

“i’m not doing this for you,” he interrupted, his voice firm, but not unkind. “i just don’t want to make this any more difficult than it already is.”

with that, he moved toward the chaise, gathering a pillow and blanket from the wardrobe. his actions were efficient, almost mechanical, as if he had already resigned himself to this fate. he didn’t look at you as he arranged the blanket over the chaise.

you stood there, feeling a strange mix of emotions—relief, awkwardness, and something else, something heavier that you couldn’t quite place. this was your wedding night, but it was nothing like you had ever imagined. there was no closeness, no warmth—just two people bound together by obligation and circumstance.

finally, you moved toward the bed, the thick carpets muffling your steps. the soft fabric of your gown felt heavy as you climbed beneath the covers, though they provided no comfort. you lay there, staring up at the intricate canopy above, your mind racing. this bed, this room—none of it felt like yours.

heeseung settled on the chaise, his back to you, the distance between you both feeling vast despite the small room. the silence was oppressive, each second dragging on longer than the last. you wondered if he was as uneasy as you were, or if he had already steeled himself to this new reality.

for a long while, neither of you spoke, the only sound in the room the faint rustling of fabric as you shifted beneath the covers. the weight of the day, of the vows, of your new title, pressed down on you, making it hard to breathe.

finally, you couldn’t stand the silence any longer. “heeseung,” you whispered, unsure if you even wanted him to respond.

he didn’t turn, but his voice was low and steady when he answered. “what?”

you hesitated, searching for the right words. “do you think... do you think this will ever get easier?”

there was a long pause before he responded, his voice quiet, almost resigned. “i don’t know.”

and with that, the conversation ended. heeseung remained silent, his back still turned to you, and you knew there was nothing more to say. you turned onto your side, pulling the blankets tighter around you, though they offered little warmth. the room felt too big, too empty, despite his presence.

eventually, exhaustion crept in, dulling the sharp edges of your thoughts. but even as sleep began to claim you, a cold, sinking feeling settled in your chest. this was your life now—bound to a man you barely knew, a man who had been your enemy for years, and yet, somehow, your husband.

and as you drifted off into uneasy sleep, the last thought that crossed your mind was how strange it felt to be lying just feet away from heeseung, yet feeling as though he was a world away.

the morning after the wedding dawned cold and gray, mirroring the lingering tension between you and heeseung. you woke up in the large, empty bed, the space next to you untouched, a stark reminder of the distance that had been established on your wedding night. the air in the room felt thick, suffocating, as if the very walls were pressing in on you, reminding you of your new reality.

as you sat up, the unfamiliarity of your surroundings only worsened the tightness in your chest. this was your new life. not just this bed, but this room, this palace—heeseung’s palace—and you would share it with a man who barely spoke to you, who looked at you with that same cold distance he had always shown.

you dressed quickly, your movements mechanical, trying not to think too much. the maids moved around you silently, well-trained and efficient, but you could feel their eyes on you. it was impossible to escape the fact that everyone knew. the entire kingdom knew the story—the princess who had run away, and her sister forced to take her place. the whispers would never stop.

when you finally made your way downstairs to the grand dining room, heeseung was already seated at the long table, a plate of food in front of him. he didn’t look up when you entered, simply continued cutting into his meal with precise, practised movements. you hesitated for a moment, then took your seat across from him.

the silence was unbearable.

you picked at your food, barely tasting it, glancing at heeseung from time to time. his expression was as unreadable as ever, his attention focused on the papers beside his plate—likely matters of the kingdom that required his attention. he was already immersed in his duties, the weight of his impending kingship pressing down on him just as heavily as your new role as his wife weighed on you.

finally, you couldn’t stand it any longer. “do you plan to ignore me for the rest of our lives?” you asked, your voice sharper than you intended.

heeseung didn’t look up immediately, taking his time to finish his bite and set down his utensils with deliberate care. when he finally met your gaze, his expression was cool, detached. “i’m not ignoring you.”

you scoffed, unable to hide your frustration. “you’ve barely spoken to me since the wedding.”

he raised an eyebrow, his tone as calm as ever. “what would you like me to say?”

the question took you off guard. you hadn’t expected him to be so blunt. you opened your mouth, then closed it again, unsure of how to respond. what did you want him to say? that he regretted everything as much as you did? that he hated this arrangement, too? or perhaps you wanted him to acknowledge the years of bitterness between you, to admit that this marriage was a farce.

instead, you said, “we’re married now, heeseung. we have to live together. we can’t keep pretending the other doesn’t exist.”

his jaw tightened ever so slightly, but his voice remained calm. “i’m aware of that.”

you waited for him to say more, but he didn’t. the silence stretched on once again, thicker than before, suffocating in its awkwardness. you pushed your plate away, no longer interested in eating. “fine,” you muttered under your breath, standing abruptly. “i suppose i’ll just get used to it, then.”

you turned to leave, but his voice stopped you. “you don’t have to like this any more than i do, but we have responsibilities now.”

you paused, your back to him, your hands clenched at your sides. “responsibilities,” you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper. it seemed like that was all your life had ever been reduced to—duty, obligation, and responsibilities.

without another word, you left the dining room, the heavy doors closing behind you with a soft thud. you could feel the weight of the situation bearing down on you even more as you walked through the halls of the palace, each step echoing in the vast emptiness. you weren’t just trapped in this marriage—you were trapped in this life.

days passed, and though you and heeseung were forced to share the same space, your interactions remained minimal, stilted. in the mornings, you would find him already at the breakfast table, poring over documents and barely acknowledging your presence. he would spend his days attending council meetings and handling matters of state, leaving you to navigate the palace on your own, feeling more like a guest in your own home than its mistress.

at night, he would retire to the chambers late, often when you were already lying in bed, pretending to sleep. he would quietly take his place on the chaise near the window, far enough away to avoid any awkwardness, but close enough that his presence was a constant reminder of the divide between you.

it was during these nights that the loneliness settled in most heavily. the silence of the room, broken only by the occasional rustling of fabric or the soft crackle of the fireplace, was suffocating. you had grown accustomed to sleeping alone, but now, knowing heeseung was just a few feet away, the distance between you felt almost unbearable. there was an unspoken understanding that neither of you wanted to bridge the gap.

one evening, after yet another day of awkward meals and tense silences, you found yourself in the library, one of the few places in the palace where you felt at peace. the vast room was filled with shelves upon shelves of books, their spines worn and familiar. you had always loved to read, finding solace in the stories and histories of others when your own life felt too overwhelming.

you were seated by the window, the late afternoon sun casting a soft glow over the pages of your book, when the door creaked open. you looked up, surprised to see heeseung standing in the doorway. he paused for a moment, as if uncertain whether to enter or leave, his eyes scanning the room before they settled on you.

“may i join you?” he asked, his voice unusually soft.

you blinked, caught off guard by his request. this was the first time he had sought you out since the wedding, and the suddenness of it left you momentarily speechless. you nodded, unsure of what else to do. “of course.”

heeseung crossed the room, moving with his usual grace, and took a seat in the armchair opposite you. for a moment, neither of you spoke, the quiet of the library enveloping you both. he seemed content to sit in silence, his gaze wandering to the bookshelves that lined the walls.

finally, after what felt like an eternity, he spoke. “this is... one of the quieter rooms.”

you raised an eyebrow, a small, incredulous smile tugging at the corner of your lips. “it’s a library, heeseung. of course it’s quiet.”

to your surprise, he chuckled softly, though it was a dry, humourless sound. “fair enough.”

silence fell again, but this time it wasn’t as suffocating. there was something almost... peaceful about it, the weight of your shared presence not as unbearable as it had been before. you watched him out of the corner of your eye, noticing how tired he looked. the weight of his responsibilities was evident in the slight furrow of his brow, the way his shoulders sagged ever so slightly.

after a while, you set your book down on your lap, deciding to break the silence. “it must be difficult,” you said quietly. “taking on so much.”

heeseung didn’t answer right away, his gaze still focused on the shelves, but eventually, he nodded. “it is.”

you hesitated for a moment, then spoke again, softer this time. “you don’t have to carry it all alone, you know.”

he turned to look at you then, his expression unreadable, but there was something in his eyes—something softer than the cold indifference you had grown accustomed to.

“and what would you suggest?” he asked, his voice quiet but not unkind.

“i don’t know,” you admitted. “but we’re in this together, whether we like it or not.”

heeseung’s gaze lingered on you for a moment longer, and then he nodded, a small, almost imperceptible movement. it wasn’t much, but it was the first step—however small—toward something more than just forced cohabitation.

the shift in your relationship came faster than you expected. it started with a challenge—a reckless, unspoken dare that neither of you could resist.

it had been a clear, crisp day, the first after several weeks of rain. you were restless, tired of the palace walls and the constant burden of your new role. you had gone to the stables, hoping to take one of the horses out for a ride, needing to feel the wind in your hair and the ground beneath you. but when you arrived, heeseung was already there, adjusting the reins of his own horse.

you paused in the doorway, surprised to see him. “you ride?”

he glanced up, one eyebrow raised. “you sound surprised.”

“i am,” you admitted. “i’ve never seen you ride before.”

he chuckled softly, his eyes glinting with amusement. “there’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

the challenge in his voice was unmistakable, and you couldn’t resist rising to it. “care to prove it?” you asked, moving toward your own horse.

heeseung’s smirk widened. “what do you have in mind?”

you mounted your horse swiftly, the thrill of the challenge already coursing through your veins. “a race.”

heeseung raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “you think you can beat me?”

“i know i can,” you shot back, turning your horse toward the open field beyond the stables.

without another word, you spurred your horse into motion, not waiting for his response. behind you, you heard heeseung’s laughter, low and rich, before the sound of hooves thundering against the ground told you he had accepted the challenge.

you raced through the fields, the wind whipping through your hair, the thrill of the chase making your heart race. heeseung was right behind you, and you could feel the tension building, the competitive edge between you sparking like fire. it was like being children again, challenging each other at every turn, pushing each other to the limit.

but this time, it was different. the stakes were higher, the tension thicker, and the way heeseung looked at you when he finally caught up to you sent a shiver down your spine.

when he finally pulled his horse beside yours, you were both breathless, your faces flushed with adrenaline. you glanced over at him, and the look in his eyes—intense, dark, heated—made your pulse quicken.

“not bad,” he said, his voice low, rough around the edges.

you smirked, trying to ignore the way your heart was pounding. “you almost kept up.”

heeseung leaned in just slightly, his gaze locking with yours. “almost?” he murmured, his voice sending a jolt through you.

you swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry. the space between you was too close, the air charged with something you weren’t quite ready to name. his eyes lingered on your lips for just a moment too long, and you could feel the heat of his presence, the tension that had always existed between you now manifesting in a way that was far more dangerous.

before either of you could say anything, heeseung pulled back, his smirk returning as if nothing had happened. “we’ll call it a draw,” he said, though there was a teasing edge to his voice.

you let out a breath you hadn’t realised you were holding, shaking your head with a laugh. “you wish.”

but as you rode back to the palace, the tension between you remained, simmering beneath the surface. it was no longer the resentment of old enemies, but something far more complex, far more dangerous. and for the first time, you found yourself wondering what would happen if that tension ever boiled over.

later that night, the air was thick with the remnants of the day’s energy. you couldn’t sleep, your mind still racing from the ride and the way heeseung had looked at you—how close he had come, how your heart had nearly betrayed you in that moment of suspended anticipation.

you wandered the halls of the palace aimlessly, your footsteps soft against the marble floors. the palace at night was a different place, quiet and still, the shadows long and heavy. it felt like a place where secrets lingered in every corner, where the walls whispered of things that could never be said aloud.

as you passed by the study, you noticed the faint glow of light beneath the door. curiosity piqued, you pushed the door open just enough to peek inside. heeseung was there, seated at the desk, bathed in the warm glow of candlelight. he was reading, his brow furrowed in concentration, his lips slightly parted as he focused on the page in front of him.

you hesitated, but before you could turn away, he looked up, catching sight of you. for a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence between you heavy with unspoken words. then, without breaking eye contact, heeseung set the book aside.

“couldn’t sleep?” he asked, his voice low, intimate in the quiet of the room.

you shook your head, stepping into the room. “no. you?”

heeseung’s gaze flicked over you, his eyes lingering on you in a way that made your skin heat under his scrutiny. “i’ve been thinking,” he said, his tone soft but laced with that same dangerous tension that had been building all day.

“about what?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper as you moved closer, drawn to him in a way you couldn’t quite explain.

heeseung’s eyes met yours, and for a moment, the world seemed to stop. “about you,” he said quietly. “about us.”

the weight of his words settled in the space between you, thick and intoxicating. about you. about us. it echoed in your mind, stirring something deep within you that you had tried to ignore for far too long. you weren’t sure if it was the late hour, the dim candlelight, or the fact that you had been dancing around each other for weeks now, but something inside you snapped.

your breath hitched as you looked at him, his eyes dark and full of something you couldn’t quite name. but it was there—undeniable, pulsing in the space between you. and now that it had been spoken into existence, you couldn’t unsee it.

“what about us?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. it wasn’t just curiosity anymore. it was a challenge.

heeseung’s gaze flicked to your lips, and the tension in the room intensified, coiling tighter and tighter until it felt like the air itself might shatter from the pressure. he stood slowly, his movements deliberate, and took a step toward you, closing the already-small distance between you.

“there’s always been something between us,” he said, his voice low, rough. his eyes never left yours, burning with intensity. “even when we hated each other.”

your heart was pounding now, so loud you were sure he could hear it. you wanted to deny it, to tell him that he was wrong, that it had always been pure hatred. but that would’ve been a lie. you knew it as well as he did—whatever had always been there between you, it had never been simple.

“and what is it now?” you asked, forcing yourself to meet his gaze even though every instinct told you to look away. to run.

heeseung took another step closer, his hand reaching up slowly, as though giving you the chance to pull away. but you didn’t. you couldn’t. his fingers brushed against your cheek, the touch so light it sent a shiver down your spine. his hand lingered there, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw.

“maybe we’ve been fighting the wrong battle,” he murmured, his voice softer now, almost tender. the warmth of his breath ghosted over your skin, and you felt your pulse quicken.

your throat tightened. every word he said felt like a dangerous line, one that you were teetering on the edge of crossing. the tension between you had always been a fire—burning too hot, too fast. and now, it felt like it was about to consume you both.

heeseung’s thumb brushed over your bottom lip, and your breath caught in your throat. his touch was tentative, as though he wasn’t quite sure if this was real or if you would pull away at any moment.

but you didn’t.

instead, you took a step closer, closing the gap completely. the air between you was charged, thick with unspoken desire and the weight of all the years you had spent fighting against each other. your body was betraying you, leaning into him, drawn by a force you had denied for too long.

heeseung’s eyes darkened as he leaned in, his lips barely an inch from yours, the heat between you almost unbearable now. you could feel the tension in every muscle, the way his hand trembled slightly as it cupped your cheek, the way your own body was responding without your permission.

then, in a breathless moment that felt like it stretched on forever, he closed the distance.

his lips pressed against yours—soft at first, testing, as though he wasn’t sure you would let him. but the moment your lips met his, something ignited between you. the kiss deepened, filled with all the pent-up frustration and longing that had been building for so long. it was a clash of emotions—anger, desire, need—all colliding in that single moment.

you responded instantly, your hands reaching up to tangle in his hair, pulling him closer, needing more. the kiss was rough, almost desperate, as though you were both trying to make up for years of missed chances in that single moment.

his hands slid down to your waist, pulling you flush against him, and you gasped against his lips at the feeling of his body pressed so close to yours. the intensity of it was overwhelming, but you didn’t want it to stop. you didn’t want to think. you just wanted to feel.

but then, as quickly as it started, heeseung pulled back, his breathing ragged, his forehead resting against yours. his hands still gripped your waist, holding you in place as though he couldn’t quite let go yet.

“this isn’t... what i expected,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. his breath was warm against your skin, and his eyes searched yours, as though he was looking for an answer in your gaze.

you swallowed hard, trying to steady your breathing, trying to make sense of what had just happened. “what did you expect?” you asked softly, your fingers still tangled in his hair.

heeseung’s grip on your waist tightened for a moment, his eyes darkening once again. “i didn’t expect you to feel this way.” his voice was low, almost a growl, filled with the same intensity that had been building between you all night.

you opened your mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come. you had no idea what to say, no idea how to explain the maelstrom of emotions swirling inside you. all you knew was that everything had changed in that kiss.

“i don’t know what i feel,” you admitted quietly, your voice barely audible in the heavy silence of the room.

heeseung’s lips twitched into a small, almost sad smile. “neither do i.” he stepped back, finally breaking the physical contact between you, and you immediately missed the warmth of his body against yours.

“but whatever this is... it’s dangerous,” he continued, his eyes locked on yours, as though warning you. “we’ve always been enemies. we don’t know how to be anything else.”

you felt a lump form in your throat at his words, because deep down, you knew he was right. but that didn’t stop the ache in your chest, the desire for something more—for the possibility of what could be.

“i don’t want to be your enemy anymore,” you said softly, the confession surprising even you.

heeseung’s eyes widened slightly at your words, his expression unreadable. for a moment, you thought he might say something—might admit that he didn’t want to be your enemy either. but then, he shook his head, the walls between you coming back up, brick by brick.

“this doesn’t change anything,” he said quietly, but the look in his eyes said otherwise.

and with that, he turned and left the room, leaving you standing there in the soft glow of candlelight, your heart pounding and your mind reeling from the kiss that had shifted the entire balance between you.

as the door closed softly behind him, you exhaled a shaky breath, your fingers brushing your lips where his had been moments before.

everything had changed.

the royal court was buzzing with tension, and for once, the tension wasn’t between you and heeseung. the kingdom was on edge, not from war or rebellion, but from something far more insidious—political manoeuvring. rival noble houses were plotting against heeseung’s rule, questioning his right to ascend to the throne, especially after the sudden marriage to you. the whispers had grown louder over the past few weeks, the courtiers’ gazes sharper, waiting for the first misstep.

you had known court life would be full of power plays and alliances, but this was different. it was personal. every snide comment, every hushed conversation behind closed doors, felt like an attack on your marriage, on your family’s legacy. and worst of all, it felt like an attack on you.

one afternoon, as you made your way through the palace corridors, you overheard a group of nobles—close to your family—voicing their displeasure over your sudden marriage to heeseung. it was the same old song—how your sister should have been the bride, how you were never meant for this role, how heeseung marrying you was a strategic disaster.

you felt your blood run cold, but you kept walking, your head held high. you had grown used to these remarks, but today, they stung deeper. not because they questioned your worth, but because they reflected the deep-seated insecurity you had always carried.

that night, you found yourself alone in the study, staring out the window at the darkening sky. the weight of the court’s judgement, the impossible standards, the constant comparisons to your sister—they were suffocating. and then there was heeseung, whose coldness had thawed just enough to show you glimpses of something deeper, something real. but he was still heeseung—your husband, your childhood rival, and now the man who held your future in his hands.

the door creaked open behind you, and you didn’t need to turn to know it was him. you had grown attuned to his presence, the way the air shifted whenever he entered a room.

“what’s wrong?” his voice was quieter than usual, but still carrying that edge of command. he always knew when something was off, as if he could sense the turmoil swirling inside you.

you didn’t answer immediately, your gaze fixed on the stars outside. “they’re saying we’re not suited for each other,” you murmured, finally turning to face him. “that i’m not fit to be queen. that you made a mistake.”

heeseung’s jaw clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek. he stepped closer, his eyes narrowing in that familiar way, but this time, it wasn’t directed at you.

“let them talk,” he said flatly. “they’re just waiting for us to fail.”

“and what if they’re right?” the words slipped out before you could stop them, the fear and doubt bubbling to the surface. “i was never meant to marry you. this isn’t the life i was prepared for.”

heeseung stared at you for a moment, his expression unreadable. then, to your surprise, he closed the distance between you, his hands gripping your shoulders firmly, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“i didn’t choose you because you were an easy choice,” he said, his voice low but intense. “i chose you because you’re stronger than you realise.”

you blinked, taken aback by the conviction in his words. heeseung wasn’t one to offer praise lightly, and hearing it now, in this moment, felt more intimate than anything he had ever said to you before.

“there are plenty of people who want to see us fail,” he continued, his grip tightening slightly. “but they don’t matter. what matters is that we don’t give them the satisfaction. we fight together.”

the intensity in his eyes sent a shiver down your spine, and for the first time, you saw beyond the cold exterior he had always shown you. there was something deeper there, something raw and unspoken. a partnership.

but the closeness also brought something else—a heat that had always been there between you, simmering beneath the surface. his hands lingered on your shoulders, his thumbs brushing the bare skin just above your collarbone, and suddenly the room felt smaller, the air thicker.

“you think i’m strong?” you asked, your voice quieter now, tinged with something more vulnerable. something real.

heeseung’s gaze flicked down to your lips, just for a moment, before returning to your eyes. his voice was rough when he spoke, low and filled with an unspoken promise. “i’ve always known.”

the charged air between you was impossible to ignore now. his fingers slid from your shoulders to your arms, the touch sending a jolt of warmth through you. it wasn’t just the weight of responsibility pressing down on you—it was him, his closeness, the undeniable pull you had both been dancing around for weeks.

you could feel the tension in every inch of your body, your heart racing as heeseung’s hands rested on your waist, pulling you closer, but still leaving just enough space for doubt. he hesitated, as if waiting for you to push him away, to remind him of the enmity that had defined your relationship for so long.

but you didn’t. instead, you leaned into him, your hands tentatively reaching up to rest on his chest. the fabric of his shirt was soft under your fingers, but beneath it, you could feel the steady beat of his heart, as rapid as your own.

“maybe i’ve been wrong about you,” you whispered, your breath hitching as the tension between you reached a breaking point.

heeseung’s eyes darkened at your words, his lips hovering just inches from yours. “maybe you have,” he murmured, his voice low and dangerous. but there was something softer there too, something almost tender.

before you could talk yourself out of it, you closed the distance between you and kissed him.

the kiss was like nothing you had ever experienced—fierce, desperate, and full of the years of unresolved tension between you. it was as if all the walls you had built around yourselves were crumbling in an instant, leaving nothing but the raw, undeniable attraction that had always simmered beneath the surface.

heeseung responded instantly, his hands tightening on your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened. his lips moved against yours with a hunger that matched your own, and you could feel the heat radiating off him, his body pressing against yours as if he couldn’t bear to let you go.

it was overwhelming, the intensity of the moment, the way your bodies seemed to fit perfectly together, the way every touch sent a shockwave of desire coursing through you. you had spent so long fighting him, fighting this, and now, as his hands slid up your back, holding you close, you wondered why you had ever resisted.

when you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting against each other. heeseung’s grip on your waist didn’t loosen, and you could feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest, his heartbeat as wild as your own.

“we can’t keep pretending,” you whispered, your voice shaky, your lips still tingling from the kiss.

heeseung’s eyes met yours, the vulnerability and uncertainty in his gaze mirroring your own. “no, we can’t,” he agreed, his voice rough with emotion.

for a moment, the world hung in the balance. you had crossed a line, and there was no going back. everything between you had shifted, and the question now wasn’t whether you would move forward—it was how.

heeseung’s thumb brushed gently against your cheek, his touch so tender it nearly broke you. “we’re in this together,” he said softly, the weight of his words heavy with meaning.

this time, there was no need to say anything more. you both understood what had changed between you, even if neither of you was ready to fully admit it. and though the path ahead was uncertain, you knew one thing for sure: you weren’t facing it alone anymore.

weeks passed, and with each passing day, things between you and heeseung slowly shifted. the cold, sharp walls that had once kept you apart were crumbling, revealing a warmth and understanding that neither of you had anticipated. where there had once been biting words and icy glares, there was now laughter, quiet conversations, and small gestures of affection.

the palace felt different. it was lighter now, with the growing sense of partnership between you and heeseung. your bickering had been replaced with genuine care, and though the wounds of the past hadn't fully healed, you were both learning to forgive. but it wasn’t just the emotional connection that was shifting—there was something deeper brewing beneath the surface. unspoken feelings, simmering tension.

it wasn’t until a grand banquet in honour of a visiting prince from a neighbouring kingdom that these feelings came to a head. you stood at the centre of the ballroom, dressed in a gown that glimmered under the candlelight. it hugged your figure perfectly, catching the attention of more than just heeseung. the prince—prince seojun—had been particularly charming throughout the evening, his eyes lingering on you a little too long, his compliments a little too bold.

“you are by far the most captivating presence in this room, your highness,” seojun murmured, his voice low as he leaned in slightly, a smirk playing on his lips. “if i had known such beauty awaited me here, i would have visited sooner.”

you laughed politely, glancing over your shoulder, searching for heeseung in the crowd. he was across the room, deep in conversation with some nobles, but even from the distance, you could feel his gaze on you, sharp and intense.

seojun continued, his hand brushing lightly against your arm as he leaned closer. “perhaps we could steal a moment away from the crowd? i would love to know more about the woman behind such an enchanting smile.”

before you could respond, a sudden shift in the air caught your attention. heeseung appeared at your side, his posture tense, his expression a mix of barely contained irritation and something else—something more possessive.

“princess,” heeseung’s voice was smooth, but there was a dangerous edge to it. his hand slid around your waist, pulling you firmly against his side. the claim was unmistakable. “i believe your dance card is full for the evening.”

seojun’s smirk faltered slightly as he glanced between the two of you, sensing the tension. heeseung’s eyes never left the prince, cold and unyielding.

“of course,” seojun replied, raising his hands in mock surrender. “i wouldn’t dream of overstepping. after all,” his gaze flickered to you, then back to heeseung, “she’s your wife.”

the words hung in the air for a moment, charged with unspoken meaning. seojun bowed slightly, a smirk still playing on his lips, before taking his leave. but even as he walked away, you could feel the lingering weight of his gaze.

you turned to heeseung, about to make a light-hearted remark about the interaction, but the look on his face stopped you. his eyes were dark, his jaw clenched, and his grip on your waist was firm—almost possessive.

“did he touch you?” heeseung asked, his voice low and tight.

you raised an eyebrow, surprised by his tone. “barely,” you replied, trying to play it off with a soft laugh. “why? are you jealous?”

his eyes flickered with something dangerous as he leaned down, his breath warm against your ear. “you’re my wife. i don’t like other men thinking they can take what’s mine.”

your heart skipped a beat at his words. the possessiveness in his tone, the way his body pressed protectively against yours—it was unlike anything you had ever experienced with heeseung. you had always seen him as cold, distant, but this... this was different. there was fire in his eyes, and you could feel it burning between you, a tension that neither of you had acknowledged until now.

“and what if i enjoy a little attention now and then?” you teased, testing the boundaries, wanting to see how far he would go.

heeseung’s eyes darkened even more, and in one swift motion, he pulled you even closer, his hand cupping the back of your neck as he leaned in, his lips barely grazing the shell of your ear. “i don’t care how many men look at you, but remember this—” his voice dropped, sending shivers down your spine, “you belong to me and i belong to you.”

a thrill ran through you at his words, and for a moment, you were speechless, your mind spinning from the intensity of his claim. the ballroom, the crowd, even prince seojun—all of it faded away as heeseung’s gaze held you captive. you could feel the heat of his body against yours, the possessiveness in his touch, and for the first time, you realised that this wasn’t just some marriage of convenience anymore.

heeseung cared—more than he was willing to admit.

your breath hitched as you looked up at him, your eyes searching his, trying to read the emotions flickering behind them. “and what about you, heeseung?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “do you want me to be yours?”

his eyes softened for just a moment, a flicker of vulnerability crossing his features before he leaned in, his lips brushing lightly against your temple. “you already are,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. “and i’m not letting you forget it.”

the banquet had left the air between you and heeseung charged with an intensity that neither of you could ignore. his possessiveness, the fierce look in his eyes when he claimed you as his wife in front of prince seojun, had stirred something inside you—something that had been simmering for far too long.

as the last of the guests departed and the palace quieted down for the night, the tension remained, lingering like an unspoken promise. heeseung walked beside you in silence as you both made your way through the dimly lit corridors toward your chambers. though no words passed between you, the air was thick with anticipation, the unspoken pull between you stronger than ever.

when you reached your shared chambers, heeseung opened the door for you, his gaze never leaving you as you stepped inside. you could feel his eyes on you, burning with a need that matched your own. the soft glow of the candlelight cast long shadows across the room, but all you could focus on was the man standing behind you, his presence overwhelming.

you moved toward the vanity, fingers trembling slightly as you began to remove your jewellery. you were acutely aware of heeseung standing behind you, the weight of his gaze almost tangible as he watched your every movement. his silence spoke volumes, filled with desire and unspoken emotions that neither of you had fully confronted until now.

the tension was unbearable. finally, unable to stand the silence any longer, you glanced at him through the reflection in the mirror, your voice soft but steady. “you’ve been quiet,” you murmured, meeting his intense gaze. “what’s on your mind?”

he didn’t answer immediately. instead, he stepped closer, his hand reaching out to brush against the bare skin of your shoulder. the touch was light, tentative, but it sent a shiver down your spine. his fingers lingered, tracing the delicate curve of your shoulder before he leaned in, his breath warm against your neck.

“i didn’t like how he looked at you,” heeseung finally admitted, his voice low and rough with suppressed emotion. his eyes met yours in the mirror, dark with jealousy and something more—something deeper. “or the way he made you laugh.”

your heart raced at the possessiveness in his tone. you turned to face him, taking in the tension in his jaw, the way his eyes blazed with something primal. his emotions were raw, laid bare before you in a way that heeseung had never allowed himself to show before.

“it was harmless,” you replied, stepping closer to him, your voice softening. “but i can’t say i minded the way you stepped in.”

his gaze darkened, his hand moving to your waist, pulling you flush against him. you could feel the heat of his body seeping into yours, the hard lines of his frame pressing against your softness. his eyes locked onto yours, filled with unspoken desire, but also with something more—something tender.

“i’m not the kind of man who likes to share,” he said, his voice a low growl as he leaned in, his lips hovering just above yours. “especially not when it comes to you.”

your breath hitched at his words, your pulse quickening as the fire between you flared even hotter. you couldn’t deny the thrill that ran through you at his possessive tone, the way his hands gripped you as though he couldn’t bear to let you go.

“and what are you going to do about it?” you whispered, your voice daring, testing the boundaries as your lips brushed his, teasingly close but not quite touching.

heeseung’s response was immediate. his lips crashed against yours, fierce and hungry, as if he had been holding back for far too long. the kiss was searing, filled with all the emotions you had both kept hidden. his hands roamed over your body, possessive yet tender, as though he was staking his claim but also worshipping every inch of you.

you responded just as fiercely, your hands tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer, needing to feel every part of him against you. the tension between you, the unspoken desire, it all poured out in that kiss, in the way his body pressed against yours with a need that matched your own.

heeseung’s hands slid down to your thighs, lifting you effortlessly as he carried you toward the bed. the air between you was electric, charged with desire and the intensity of emotions that neither of you had allowed to surface until now. he laid you down gently, his eyes never leaving yours, his gaze dark and filled with a hunger that made your heart race.

for a moment, he paused, his fingers brushing over your cheek with a tenderness that contrasted sharply with the intensity of what had just passed between you. his eyes softened, and for the first time, you saw the vulnerability behind them—the raw emotion that he had been hiding behind his cold exterior for so long.

“are you sure?” he asked, his voice husky but laced with care, as if he was giving you one last chance to pull away, to stop this before it went too far.

you gazed up at him, your heart swelling with the overwhelming emotions coursing through you. heeseung, the man you had once considered your rival, your enemy, was now looking at you with a tenderness that took your breath away. you reached up, cupping his face in your hands, your thumb brushing softly over his cheek.

“i’m sure,” you whispered, pulling him down into another kiss, softer this time, but no less filled with the emotions swirling between you.

what followed was slow, deliberate, and filled with a tenderness that you had never expected from heeseung. his hands moved over your body with care, as though he was savouring every touch, every breath. the fierceness from earlier softened into something more intimate, more meaningful, as he explored you with reverence, his lips following the path of his hands.

your name fell from his lips like a prayer, whispered against your skin in the quiet moments between kisses. heeseung’s touch was both possessive and gentle, as though he was claiming you but also offering himself to you in return. the intensity of the moment was overwhelming, but it was the tenderness in his gaze, the softness of his touch, that made your heart ache with something deeper than mere desire.

and as the night stretched on, your bodies moving together in perfect harmony, you realised that this wasn’t just about passion—it was about the connection you had been fighting against for so long. the rivalry, the bickering, the walls you had both built between you—it all crumbled away, leaving only the raw truth of what you felt for one another.

when it was over, you lay beside each other, your breathing heavy, your bodies tangled in the sheets. the room was quiet now, the only sound was the soft rustle of the fabric and the faint crackle of the dying fire in the hearth.

heeseung turned to you, his hand reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair from your face. his eyes, once so cold and guarded, were warm now, filled with an emotion that made your heart skip a beat. he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you and holding you against his chest as though he couldn’t bear to let you go.

you rested your head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. it was comforting, grounding you in the quiet aftermath of everything that had just passed between you. his fingers traced lazy patterns on your back, soothing and gentle, as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head.

neither of you spoke, but words weren’t necessary. the silence was filled with a sense of peace, of contentment that neither of you had known before. heeseung’s touch was soft now, filled with care as he held you close, his body warm and protective against yours.

and in that quiet, intimate moment, you realised something: this was more than just passion, more than just desire. it was something real, something lasting.

heeseung’s hand continued to trace gentle patterns on your back, his lips brushing your temple as he whispered softly, “are you alright?”

you smiled against his chest, your heart swelling with warmth at the tenderness in his voice. “more than alright,” you murmured, snuggling closer to him.

heeseung let out a soft sigh, his arms tightening around you as if he never wanted to let go. and as you drifted off to sleep in his arms, the weight of the past finally lifted, leaving only the warmth of the present and the promise of a future you were both ready to embrace.

the next morning, you woke to find heeseung already up, standing by the window of your shared chambers, his silhouette framed by the soft glow of the early morning light. he looked deep in thought, his expression pensive as he gazed out over the kingdom.

quietly, you approached him, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind. he stiffened for a moment at the contact but quickly relaxed, his hands covering yours as he let out a soft sigh.

“you’re up early,” you murmured, resting your cheek against his back.

“i couldn’t sleep,” he replied, his voice thoughtful. “i was thinking about everything that’s changed.”

you smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder. “a lot has changed, hasn’t it?”

heeseung turned in your arms, his expression soft as he looked down at you. “i never thought this would work,” he admitted, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “but i’m glad i was wrong.”

you gazed up at him, your heart swelling with warmth. the man standing before you was the same heeseung you had known all your life, but now, you saw him for who he truly was—not your enemy, not your rival, but your partner. your husband.

“i’m glad too,” you whispered, reaching up to cup his cheek. he leaned into your touch, his eyes closing for a moment, a small smile playing on his lips.

and in that moment, you knew that this was your new beginning. the past, with all its bitterness and tension, was behind you. what lay ahead was a future you hadn’t expected but one you were ready to embrace—together.

as heeseung pulled you into a gentle kiss, the warmth of the morning sun streaming through the window, you knew that this was the start of something beautiful. your marriage, once forged out of obligation and resentment, had grown into something real, something lasting.

and as you stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, you realised that sometimes, the best love stories were the ones you never saw coming.

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