If My Marriage Isnt Like This Then I Dont Want It - Tumblr Posts
Goddesses I love theses dramatic fuckers with my whole heart and soul
I have a bunch of random writing rotting in my notes app, so even though I prefer lurking and reblogging I'm just gonna drop this ravioli outline thing here. It's written quick and dirty but that's just how it iz
Legend wants another divorce
When you're married for tax and immigration fraud purposes, till death do us part doesn't have that much of a kick to it.
The links witness the most lovingly dysfunctional marriage in all hyliankind.
The links turn up at Legends place for the first time. He takes them home, ravio is at the door, angry. Cries at link for leaving him alone for two months, says without his ugly mug threatening the customers he couldn't squeeze as a much money out of them, asks for another divorce, then runs off into their bedroom.
The other links are flabbergasted. Wars is dying inside cause no way is the collector (asshole) is married and divorced. Leg rolls his eyes, ignores questions and tells them to just sleep anywhere and don't touch anything.
At dinner, leg makes ravio a sandwich, gets down on one knee and asks ravio to marry him again. Ravio swoons with a yes, but before he can take a bite, he reams ravio about mixing his merchandise up with his adventure stuff, takes a massive bite out of the sandwich, says he wants to be divorced again.
Ravio won't let link sleep on the bed, it's improper, but leg is freaking tired and he can't have the couch because there are guests over, so leg just tiredly asks if they can be married again, ravio requests dowery of one week of bed cuddles, three days, four days and I'm big spoon. Deal.
At breakfast ravio has a single bite of waffles from wild, requests another divorce, says he wants to marry wild instead. Legend gets up on the table, sword out, and asks wild what he's playing at. Wild is so utterly confused and time diffuses the situation. Legend tells ravio he'll come crawling back and ravio sicks his tongue out at him
Legend does in fact win him back when Ravio needs him to do something in the shop, and leg wants to get paid a wage (and rent), Ravio would rather them be married so he's just contributing to the house.
They go to the castle eventually, mius leg he couldn't be bothered, where Fable tells em yeah they're legally married. Leg didn't tell her outright but she suspects it's because married couples with kids have lower taxes. The other links are shook and confused, so is fable, saying he adopted his three younger siblings. These are just link split up into the triforce heros but the chain doesn't know this.