I'm Not Tho - Tumblr Posts

kailani went to get an ultrasound done, and finds out through it that she is having twins! despite this, she seems very content with the idea of two children that will soon be crawling around the cottage she and her soon-to-be husband made to be called home.

Me: why did the chicken cross the road?

Mom: because that dude 2 streets over never fixed his fence

me: well the answer was "to attack my front spokes" but that explains where the chicken came from :(

The way everyone who knows me always giggles when they hear me talk on the phone with people I don't know..

"Omg, you sound so nice!? haha!"

Yeah fucker. Can't use my regular voice while doing that.. people always think I'm angry with them if I do. 💀