IM SORRY??? I WONT DO IT AGAIN??? - Tumblr Posts
G... GOD DAMN BRO IT WAS A JOKE...
GOT ME KICKING MY FEET AND SHIT- AM *I* BEING ROMANCED RN?????? WHO DO I CALL??? POE-LEASE??? OFF-THORY-TEASE??
IS THIS WAR??? IS THIS A CALL TO ARMS??? GIVE ME LIKE...,,,, A FEW DAYS AND ILL FUCKING
SHODIFH
IM COUGHING UP BLOOD HERE THAT WAS A CRITICAL HIT HOLD ON--
what if i am malicious or mean-spirited? what then?
you say it like you aren't, you FUCKING BULLY
but let's ignore the fact that your love language IS BULLYING so that i can disprove those preposterous rumours of cowardice that you've been spreading around about me
meeting noel wasn't really a life-altering experience but deciding to invite him over for that first movie night that lead to a sleep over definitely was. see noel has this type of... disarming confidence that sort of scared me at first, but after a long rant about anime (and the assurance that there was something queer afoot with this guy), i decided to give this a try yknow? after all this is uni and I'm not in my home town and I don't wanna have zero friends here so i put on my big human pants and gave it a shot.
you would not believe how well it worked. see noel has this loud unabashed and pretty much shameless personality that i wasn't sure if i could work with. I'm the type of person that has a history of always being the one to compromise for the louder personality without saying anything and letting things bottle up until i literally decide to cut the other off, so i was cautious about managing my old bad habits and not letting them have a say in this new friendship.
enter stage right noel, who is loud and shameless but so so fucking considerate, who will ask and check, who is so careful about not making me feel uncomfortable (and the fact that i never feel bad about redirecting a conversation because of that speaks for itself). noel, who will initiate conversations that feel so meta because talking about your friendship with the friend involved isn't something i was used to at that point WHICH IS INSANE BECAUSE ITS SO USEFUL.
funnily enough, despite his loud energy (and i have never found anything funnier than this), his gamer rage is a "ts" that barely sounds mildly annoyed. it's endearing and utterly hilarious.
also, and i know noel being autistic plays a part in this but let me tell you, as someone that gets anxious and is a bit of an overthinker, the honesty that's always a part of my interactions with noel is so refreshing. and the fact that on top of all this, this guy doesn't even complain about living in a state of semi-constant confusion at my sarcasm. and by sarcasm, i mean that i sarcastically responded to noel telling me that I'm a sarcastic person okay? it's not just your casual run-of-the-mill thing, i live and breathe in sarcasm and this guy right here (who called me an eldritch being which feels like such a compliment) doesn't even complain. IN FACT i had to needle him into telling me to use /j or /s via texting, which he would never bring up himself ig and honestly. YOU'RE SO CONSIDERATE BUT NOT TO YOURSELF.
ahem moving on. noel is a also a fucking bully in the most loving way possible. we once highjacked a video call for a uni project just to snipe at each other with petty fake (or not so fake but meant with love) insults BECAUSE I COULDN'T TAKE THE ABUSE AND I STAND BY THIS; HE STARTED IT.
he's the guy that calls me out so. much. who loves to needle me and tease me because that's what i signed up for apparently. it took me a bit to figure out how to go about it in a way that didn't lead to me accidentally internalizing the wrong thing, but once i figured that out it was game on.
conversations with noel will span from us aggressively calling each other out, to pretending to be a victorian couple to yelling about cute animals and raving about our specific extremely interesting thing at the moment. this guy has shown me so many different and diverse fandoms, from the owl house (which i still need to finish but whatever) to bee and puppycat to anything link and hyrule related. in return, i try to keep my rants about star wars (which i absolutely love and he absolutely cannot stand to listen too much about) to a minimum (which only works sometimes, sorry). and this right here is so important to me.
I've never had this dynamic before. this mutual understanding of i scream about my thing and you scream about your thing, and we focus as much as we can and if we can't we let the other know and they can scream later or scream via text so we can see it in a few days. that is something that i will never stop appreciating, something that i just wont stop loving about me and noel.
noel is the guy that's always there when i drop drinks (milk and alcohol most notably) on my carpet because istg it never happens when I'm alone or with anyone else. noel is the guy that decided to start writing down this wild au i pitched at him, which we started obsessing over and developing for the entirety of january iirc (and this is what urged me to also start writing about it and suddenly we're writing buddies which is such a fun and interesting experience).
he's the guy that was worried that me losing my social battery meant he did something wrong (something that i hope I've disproved by now, and also I NEVER SEEM TO LOSE MY BATTERY WITH THIS GUY?? I've literally never had this happen with any of my other friends but with noel it takes so long for me to me to go mm i need alone time),
noel has also, at many points this last year, practically moved in with me and yknow what? the absolute peace and calm adoration that i felt when i got home from a uni meeting to see him on my chair drawing, there are no words for it i swear