Ineffable Dumbasses - Tumblr Posts
GOOD OMENS SEASON TWO IS COMFIRMED LETS GO!! In celebration, I tried to redraw the promotional poster. It really could have been better and I really tried to fix it but. Y’a know. Whatcha gonna do.
I feel like Aziraphale and Crowley will be forced to speak to each other by Nina and Maggie and so they will sit in one room locked up by them and they’re going to be absolutely fuming and still refusing to talk
But they will finally snap and start fighting through which they will mention all the misunderstandings over the years
YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE HOMELESS
IT WAS NOT YOUR PROBLEM
YES IT WAS I’D NEVER LET YOU LIVE IN A CAR
YOU TOLD ME I WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU
I NEVER SAID THAT
YOU CALLED ME ONE OF THE BAD GUYS
THAT’S NOT… THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT
I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU AND YOU TOLD ME NOTHING LASTS FOREVER!
I MEANT THE BOOKSHOP! I CHOSE YOU OVER THE BOOKSHOP!
YOU WANTED ME TO BE AN ANGEL LIKE I WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH THE WAY I AM
I WANTED YOU TO BE HAPPY AND SAFE! YOU NEVER TOLD ME GABRIEL WANTED ME TO SHUT UP AND DIE!
I WANTED TO PROTECT YOU!
I WANTED TO PROTECT YOU TOO!
6 thousand years of misunderstandings until they stop and need to catch a breath because fucking hell and Aziraphale says fuck this and grabs Crowley the way he grabbed him and kisses him
Nervous Reunion
Bonus:
if good old-fashioned lover boy isn't in season two i'm suing
Ohhhhh I need to go outside take a deep breath in and scream
This means we can stop the theories that Aziraphale hated the kiss, yeah, sweet bless thanks
This is amazing! 🤣🤣🤣
Metatron: Almighty, it’s done.
God *hungover*: Wait, what’s done?
Metatron: I told Aziraphale ‘fuck Crowley’. So he did.
God *groans*: You weren’t actually meant to tell him… ah never mind, at least they finally did it. Six thousand years is way too fucking long. Satan said it’s gonna take them at least ten thousand, so I won. Again. Fucking brilliant. I’m gonna call him. Tell Aziraphale I can marry them when they’re free.
Metatron: ……. M-marry them?
God: ???
Metatron: ???
God: Metatron?
Metatron *sweating*: Yes?
God: I feel like your fuck is different to my fuck.
God: Aziraphale. This is your judgment day.
Aziraphale: Well. I always tried to be a good Angel.
God: You fell for a demon.
Aziraphale: A Fallen Angel.
God: Same thing.
Satan: Not really.
God: Yes, it is.
Satan: No. We are the First Fallen. Don’t throw us in the same bag with basic demons.
Aziraphale: Exactly. I have standards.
God: Either way.
Aziraphale: Okay, I did. That’s not my fault.
God: You have acted on it. That is your fault.
Aziraphale: Technically that is your fault.
Satan: Oh!
God: A… what?
Aziraphale: You’ve created him. He’s your baby.
God: Well…
Aziraphale: So who made him beautiful?
Crowley: *turns red*
Satan: *snorts*
God: Aziraphale…
Aziraphale: So you’ve made him the prettiest Angel out there. And gave him the best personality. Made him a literal perfection.
Beelzebub: Ok, that’s subjective.
Aziraphale: You fell for Gabriel, you have no right to opinion.
Beelzebub: Hey!
Satan: He has a point.
Beelzebub: You shouldn’t even be involved in this. You’re subjective since you fancy Crowley.
Satan: It is called having a good taste. Which you don’t have.
Beelzebub: Gabriel has a personality he just doesn’t like you. Or Crowley.
Crowley: Good.
God: Anyway. Falling for him when he was an Angel makes no difference, Aziraphale, because when he became a Fallen Angel you still pursued him.
Crowley: He didn’t pursue me.
God: He pretended to be in danger and waited for you to rescue him.
Satan: I knew it.
Crowley: Wait, really?
Aziraphale: Lies and slander.
Crowley: *smirks*
Aziraphale: Well, that’s Satan’s fault.
Satan: What have I done this time?
Aziraphale: You made him even prettier.
Satan: Well, you don’t make your crushes uglier.
God: He has a point. You told me you jumped in to take Crowley out of boiling sulphur so he wouldn’t change. And then all you did was give him a tattoo and pretty snake eyes.
Crowley: Oh, yeah, I remember that.
Aziraphale: You were thrown into boiling sulphur?!
Satan: You didn’t tell him that?
Crowley: Why would I tell him that?
Aziraphale: I thought when you fall you have a nice demon take you to Hell! Like when I thought I fell and you came for me!
Satan: Oh boy.
Crowley: Well you were upset enough.
Random Angel: Awwh.
Aziraphale: So you, God, created the prettiest Angel with the best personality, then you kicked him out of Heaven, and Satan took over and made him even prettier. Where is my fault in this?
God and Satan: Well.
*silence*
Satan: You weren’t planning to do anything to them anyway, were you?
God: Yes, I did.
Satan: Oh, have a day off, what are we gonna do on Friday evenings if not watch catch up on these two. You’re gonna cancel my favourite tv show?
God: You are irresponsible.
Satan: You make all the decisions, I deserve this one. Aziraphale and Crowley, you’re free. Fuck off. Do your worst.
God: Do your best…!
*They’re both already gone*
*They just hear a mumbled “SATAN FANCIES YOU?! BOILING SULPHUR?!”*
God: NEXT!