It Is Not Easy For Anyone - Tumblr Posts

Since i was born i was absolutely unstoppable, i ran and jumped and played, i had energy to dance and fight, i went swimming every week for a year, the next 3 years i did artistic roller skating, then i practiced karate, my legs started to hurt and i couldn't run as many laps as my friends... two years later i was one of the best in my school's the volleyball team, my height and my strength were my best assets... then i couldn't jump as high, i felt like fainting mid-game.

In 2019 i was diagnosed with hyperlaxity, and then with elher danlos, i can't run for more than 10 seconds, i can't crouch and breathig hurts sometimes, if i stand up too fast I'll faint and if its too cold I'll fall asleep, all my joints pop when i move and there's not a moment when my body doesn't hurt, i never want to get out of bed.

People tell me im lazy, that i must endure cause everyone has pains sometimes, they tell me to stop complaining that my back hurts, that I'm weak for not being able to bear a little pain.

They don't understand that it hurts ALL day, EVERY day, that im complaining because right now it hurts more than a while ago.

They don't understand that if im playing its not because i was making up my pain a while ago, its because i can't just live sitting down, I'm playing and my back hurts, and my legs feel weak, and my breath is ragged and i feel like fainting, but I'm happy because i finally found the energy to play like i did years ago.

I'm not angry at the people who tell me i should just try harder, I am ENRAGED.

How DARE YOU tell ME that I'm not trying my hardest? that "it's not that terrible" you dont KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO NOT BE ABLE TO DO THE THINGS YOU LIKE, WATCHING WITH ENVIOUS EYES AS YOUR FRIENDS DO THINGS YOURE NOT EVEN ALOWED TO TRY "just in case", WISHING THAT YOU STILL WERE THAT LITTLE INVINCIBLE KID WHO RAN ALL DAY IN A T-SHIRT AND SHORTS NOT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT THE TEMPERATURE OR THEIR JOINTS.

the little kid who still believed when they told her she was strong, the little kid who didn't feel like a withering flower, like she was rotting, her body decaying with every passing day.

You don't know how it feels. Don't pretend to know how it feels.