Jacque Widow - Tumblr Posts
Villainiece 01
Jacque Widow: My name is Jacqueline Melefica Widow, but please call me Jacque, and i like what any girl my age does, to tear down cultural walls and fix society, BY ELIMINATING ALL BELIEF BUT THE WORSHIP OF MY OWN PERFECTION AND TO TEAR DOWN THE FEEBLE WORLD AS IT IS AND REBUILD IT IN MY OWN GLORIOUS IMAGE! ZYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! also i love makeup and table top RPGs they're jolly cool!
Teacher: that was quite the introduction Miss Widow, well class let’s all make her feel welcome!
(Cousin Valerie face palms)
Villainiece 02
Valerie: Doesn’t it bother anyone else that we have an egomaniacal madwoman chilling out in our attic?
Jacque Widow (Appearing on the tv screen): I will have you know i am of completely sound mental faculties cousin dear, in fact i carry around proof!
(Screen flashes to static then plays an image of Jacque holding a screw driver as a microphone and passionately lip syncing to a song)
Jacque Widow: Oh umm wait oops wrong file!
(Video continues to play but audio cuts out before new audio begins)
Man’s voice: I Doctor Harry Conner, being of sound mind and body, and under no form of duress or coercion, do here by swear that Jacqueline Widow shows no signs of narcissistic personality disorders or other mental deviations, she is very very sane, and you should feel silly for questioning her obviously grand and stable mind, also she is super smart and pretty and if you are a cute girl you should totally date her, there i read it now close the pool the barracudas are getting better at jumping!
Jacque Widow: See?
Villainiece 03
Student 1: Hey watch where your walking!
(Shoves other kid out of the way)
Student 2: yeah EEGORE!
(Both walk off laughing)
Jacque Widow To the kid who was shoved: Excuse me but was i correct in hearing that your name is Igor?
Eegore: Umm not really, my name is Ethan Edward Gore, so ya know Eegore is my nickname, those two don’t seem to get that nicknames aren’t insults though.
Jacque Widow: Close enough! you are hired!
Eegore: Umm for what?
Jacque Widow: To be my evil minion and lab assistant!
Eegore: Umm doesn’t that violate child labor laws?
Jacque Widow: Why yes it does! (puts arm around Eegore) this evil operation is off to a jolly sweet start Eegore my pal!
Villianiece 04
(1 week after Jacque arrived at her Aunt and Uncle Found’s home with nothing but a text Message from her mother only minutes before warning them and carrying only an over night bag)
Aunt Decima: Hey Jacque, what size clothes do you wear? i thought i mite pick you up a few things, just to tide you over till your parents send you some more clothes.
Jacque Widow: Oh no need Auntie Dear, i’m sure Father Dearest is just tuning up one of the drones before he send any of my belongings, or more likely this is to short term a stay to warrant the effort as i am about to return home.
(2 weeks later In the attic of the Found family home)
Aunt Decima: I hope your OK sharing the space with Valarie, her and her band practice here allot.
Jacque Widow: Not at all Auntie Dear, i am just grateful for a lair, at least a temporary one until Mother and Father recall me.
Aunt Decima: Yeah, I’m sure they will call on you any day now, OK now turn that dresser side ways, and we will hang a curtain here to finish separating the space.
Jacque Widow: Of course Auntie Dear!