James Potter X Reader Angst - Tumblr Posts

fake dating with james? major angst end with fluff?

okay, to be completely candid with you guys, this is my first time writing like this. i’ve never really done fics or even small drabbles before, so i deeply apologize if this is the worst thing you’ve ever read. i promise i’m trying to get better. this has also been sitting in my drafts for so long, since i couldn’t decide how to end it.

summary: you fell in love with your fake boyfriend. he fell in love with you, too.

warning: not as much angst, sorry </3. fluff, horrible writing, a lot of rushing. james rants ab his love for you

Dating James was like a dream, truly. Even though it was fake, meant to just be a ruse to make Lily jealous, he made it seem like it was perfectly real. He walked you to every class, offered you his jumper the moment you shook in the slightest, gave you his breakfast if you were still hungry. He even made sure to throw in a grand gesture every once in a while — a large bouquet of flowers, buying you a nice outfit or that expensive perfume you wanted but couldn’t afford. Anything he could do.

The only problem was how much you liked dating him. It was hard to remind yourself that it was all fake — that it was all happening just to make another girl jealous, because that’s who he was in love with. Lily. Not you. And it broke your heart every time you were reminded of that. Every time he’d kiss your cheek and murmur something about Lily watching, whenever he’d come to you with so much excitement over the plan working, whenever he’d immediately pull away as soon as you two were alone. It all hurt.

And that was why you had to end it. Today, before you could chicken out and let yourself get lost in something that’s not real.

“James? Can we talk?” You questioned softly once you found him in his dorm room, Remus and Sirius studying something on one of the beds, and Peter trying to make light conversation. “Um — somewhere private.”

“Yeah, of course.” The bespectacled boy gave you a grin, quickly slapping Sirius lightly on top of the head to signal for him and Remus to leave, before nodding his head for Peter to do the same. After a few grumbles, the three eventually left the room, leaving both you and James alone. “Hey, did you see Lily at breakfast today? Marls said she was ‘bout ready to stab someone, must mean the plan’s working.”

“Right, yeah, that’s great, James.” You murmured distantly, almost as if you weren’t really listening, which was what caught James attention. A frown came over his face and he took a step closer to you, tilting his head slightly in confusion.

“Is something wrong? What did you want to talk about?”

“Us. I mean — this whole dating thing. Fake dating thing.” You clarified, mentally sighing at how nervous you already were. It was already proving to be more difficult than you could handle.

“I think we should end this.”

“This? The plan? No. Why would we do that?” James questioned frantically, his frown only growing. Truly, he didn’t know if he was upset because he didn’t want to backtrack with Lily, or if it was because he didn’t want to stop being with you.

“Because, it ran it’s course. It worked, it did what it was supposed to do. I think going on any longer would just be beating a dead horse, y’know? And you can’t exactly get with Lily if you have a girlfriend, even if it’s fake.”

“No — No, we have to keep going. We’re not done yet,” James was trying to come up with a reason. He didn’t know why, you did have a point. But the idea of ending things caused a feeling in his gut, and he didn’t like it. “There — there’s the Yule Ball. We can’t break up before the Yule Ball.”

“Ask Lily. I overheard her talking with Marlene and Mary about how she wished she could go with you.”

“Then I’d just seem like an asshole who left his girlfriend for another girl.”

“James,” you sighed. He was making it more difficult than you thought he would. You almost thought he’d be happy, that it had worked well enough he could be with Lily now. “It won’t seem that way. Ask Lily to the Yule Ball. This has to be over, okay? I just — it has to be, I’m sorry.”

You left before he could come up with another reply, leaving both yourself and James completely devastated and wishing for something that never really existed.

Two weeks and some moping later, it was finally time for the Yule Ball. Something that you should be excited for — all of your friends were.

But, it was hard to be excited when you knew the person you were in love with would be going with another girl. Sirius had offered to go with you, as friends, of course. You had updated him on why you ended things with James and you figured he wanted to distract you from it all. However, you declined — you knew he wanted to go with Remus and you didn’t want to stand in the way of their night.

Amos Diggory had asked you as well — you thought about saying yes at first, not wanting to be the only person without a date, but it would be cruel to lead him on, so you simply said you wanted to go alone.

It hurt, hearing Lily gush over James as she got ready. You were so used to hearing her complain about his antics and gestures, and now she was swooning and you didn’t think you could bear it. Mary kept sending you sympathetic glances — clearly your moping hadn’t been as subtle as you thought.

It even hurt when you were there, surrounded by friends. James avoided eye contact, always either making an excuse of getting drinks for him and Lily or simply staying silent — something very rare for him.

A slow song eventually came on, all of your friends rushing off with their dates to get the first dance of the night, all of them blushing and giggling. And you were happy for them, you were. You just wished you could join in the feeling, rather than sitting alone to the sidelines.

The even was going by dreadfully slow, and you were beginning to contemplate just leaving early — making an excuse that your head hurt, or you were sick — whenever Amos came up to you.

“Hey — I know you didn’t want to come with anyone. Or with me, at least. But you seem lonely,” he started, before plopping down on the seat next to you. “Do you want to dance? No strings attached.”

“I — that would be lovely, actually.”

He grabbed your hand, pulling you up and over to the “dance floor,” which was really just the middle of the Great Hall. You immediately felt less awkward than you had before — even if it wasn’t James, at least you weren’t sitting by yourself.

“Did you say no to me because of James?”

“What?”

“Did you not want to come with me because you’re still hung up on James? You two seemed really… happy, together. I guess I should’ve figured you weren’t over him.”

“Oh, we were never actually —” You were cut off, both yours and Amos’ heads looking up to the figure who interrupted you. James.

“Sorry, mate, do you mind if I steal her for a moment? Thanks.” James didn’t wait for either of you to respond, instead pulling you to the complete opposite side of the room.

He avoided making eye contact with you, leaving you more confused than you were two seconds ago. What was the point of pulling you over here if he didn’t have anything to say?

“It looked like you and Lily were having fun,” you decided to speak, hoping to ease whatever tension was building between the two of you.

“What? Oh yeah, sure. I guess,” he said, practically waving you off. It was as if he wasn’t even listening, his mind in a totally different world. “I need to say something. And I need you to not interrupt me. Okay?”

You nodded, part of you terrified for what was about to come. You couldn’t think of anything you had done to him recently. You hadn’t even spoken to him, how could you have possibly upset him? What could he possibly need to talk about?

“I’ve always been in love with Lily. Since as long as I can remember, it’s been her. I didn’t even give anyone else a chance, because she had to be the one.”

“Gee. Thanks for the reminder, James.”

“Wait. I’m not done. I never gave anyone a chance. Not a serious one, at least. And — and then you showed up. And I know it was supposed to be fake, and it was supposed to just make Lily jealous. But, somewhere I think… I think I realized that maybe she’s not the one. Because whenever you ended things, it felt like — I don’t know, it sort of felt like my heart was missing.”

He kept rambling, and you opened your mouth to interrupt. To ask if he was saying what you thought he was. But, he quickly shushed you, holding a finger up to signal he was still talking.

“And, I thought maybe I just liked the attention. Liked being in a relationship. But, I’m here with Lily and it’s not the same. It doesn’t feel the same. I don’t feel the same. I just, I guess what I’m trying to say is, you’re the only person who made me feel so seen, so… so me. Does that make sense? I just, I think I might be in love with you.” He finally finished up, letting his eyes fall to your face, his eyes wide as if he had just confessed to murder.

You could tell he was nervous, but you stayed silent, blinking slowly as you processed his words. “You can — you can say something now. Please say something.”

“I think I may be in love with you, too, Potter.” You finally spoke, watching the grin that slowly took over his face once he realized what you said.

“Really?” He tried not to show how giddy he was, tried not to seem too much like a child who was just told they could get ice cream. But how was he supposed to contain himself when you just told him you loved him, too? How was he supposed to pretend like he wasn’t on cloud fucking nine?

“Yes. Now, are you gonna kiss me, or do I have to do it myself?”