Jasper/bella - Tumblr Posts

Fun Little Update on Moi pt1

In a Superior Mood (how tf do I trademark this, pls help)

Will watch all the Monster High movies

Unfortunately my final form, which is when I am most powerful and in my bitchiest mood, can only be witnessed at night after listening to edit audios and pretending I am in an edit

Like, honestly though! Can I add to this? Because over the course of the books, Bella loses her spunk, her original identity, and all of the things that made her likable. Once Edward left then came back, her entire personality came from making him stay with her. She even said so herself, that being a vampire was no longer about being with him forever and being his equal, it was about being able to keep up with him if he ever left her again. And that’s so sad. Did y’all know that her dream was to be a teacher like her mother, but for high schoolers or college students. She never wanted children and didn’t want to be around them either. I miss twilight!Bella and fucking Edward killed her long before he made her a vampire!

Also I’m sorry for tagging onto the original post without asking, that’s my bad, but I just wanted to get this out without confusing anyone.

shame how the twilight books went from dreamy woodland fantasy to perfect suburban housewife life as the series went on

In preparation for the new Bella/Jasper fic I’m writing headcanons for them getting together!

(This is under the assumption that they are both single following the main events of New Moon)

Jasper would probably hate himself for having feelings for Bella, for a lot of reasons, the biggest being that she was his little brother’s ex-girlfriend and that he’d tried to kill her once.

Bella would be much more laid back if not a little anxious for Alice and Edward’s sake, she wanted to avoid awkward confrontation if her and Jasper did get together

Bella would go to Esme for advice but Esme wouldn’t judge her (Rosalie) or make it too sexual (Emmett) and was a woman (sorry Carlisle and Charlie)

Jasper would ask Carlisle for help concerning a friend (he would do that don’t lie to yourself) because Carlisle was understanding and would pretend not to see through it

Esme and Carlisle tell them both the same thing; to confront each other head on (romantically) and hope they return each others feelings

(Carlisle and Esme both know who the other is talking about and are laughing at them behind the scenes, all in all they want their kids to be happy)

Bella is probably the instigator, she’s an adult, she’s dated a vampire before and she’s survived multiple attacks at the hands of other vampires; she could deal with one more that she actually liked

Jasper would’ve admitted it first, bc I mean come on, look at him, man’s is up for any confrontation, Bella just happened to get to him first

She was pretty low key about it too, she just told him she was falling for him and asked if he also had feelings for her, they were both very happy he said yes

Jasper wanted at least one monumental moment caused by him in their relationship, so before she could walk away to squeal to Esme, he grabbed her hip and pulled her into a sweet kiss

Emmett and Rosalie were in the room as well judging by the exaggerated moans and the scolding to not ruin their moment, it was nice to know they both supported it

Alice came in from the kitchen window with a lofty call of “Finally” she went to sit beside her two other siblings

Edward had gone to Denali after reading Esme’s thoughts in Bella asking out Jasper, he doesn’t agree with it and needs to get over that, he is happy that Jasper returns her feelings and can take care of her but then he’s reminded that he’s Jasper and changes his mind

Very cute, little awkward but pretty good, pretty good

“Let me help you...”

Fandom: Twilight

Pairing: Jasper x Bella, mostly canon pairings

Warnings: NSFW, minors DNI, f.masturbation, oral (f.receiving), somewhat cheating, thigh riding, cowgirl position, cream pie. Mentions of su!cide like once, inappropriate language, toxic relationships, too long

I paced the length of my room heatedly, frustration and irritation leaking out of my very pores. The rain slammed into the window violently and had been since he’d left. Again.

It wasn’t unusual for Edward and I to get into fights like these ever since we’d gotten home from Volterra. More often then not, he’d say his piece, ignore me, and take off in a fit of self-righteousness and self-hatred. A strange combination if I ever saw one.

When we got back, things were tense, awkward, and I didn’t know how to fix it. If I even wanted to at all. I was long tired of practically breaking my back and risking my life to make him happy only to get tossed aside like I didn’t matter. He made it clear what mattered most to him and what I wanted wasn’t even on the list. To make matters worse, his animosity only grew after the majority of his family sided in favor of turning me into one of them. It hurt that he’d rather hide me away and constantly risk my life along with the lives of his family just to keep me human without considering my thoughts or feelings on the matter.

What I wanted, all I’d ever wanted, was to be his equal. For him to see me as beautiful, strong and powerful as I saw him. I loved him with every fiber, cell, molecule of my being and he loved me. Loved me enough that he was going to kill himself to avoid living on without me. Enough to put himself through agony and constantly test his control just to be in the same room as me. He loved me. He lived for me.

At least, that’s what I thought, anyways. Our newest argument tested my resolve a lot more than our other ones. Like every other time, we were arguing about my change. While I just wanted to confirm the date for my change, he still hadn’t come to terms with the fact that he’d lost the debate on whether or not I’d become like him. He insisted that he wouldn’t turn me, that he forbade anyone else from doing it, and that he didn’t want to hear me being up something so stupid and meaningless again.

It’s safe to say that his words hurt a bit. The oh-so-meaningless topic that he so desperately wanted to avoid was what gave him his family. It’s what allowed us to fall in love. It gave him unfathomable abilities that most could only dream about. And without it, the lives of all the people we cared about, and our own, would be in danger. I told him as much. Then it got worse.

Usually when we argued, Edward ignores what I have to say, insists that he’s in the right, and leaves when I don’t cave. He always returns and never insults me. Except this time, he did.

“You are so stupidly naive, Bella! I’m a vampire, I would know better then you, and I do! Its my job to take care of you, not that you make it easy. You never make it easy for me! You’re so selfish and you do it on purpose, it’s as if you enjoy being such a burden!”

I had stood there silently for a pause. Partially in shock but mostly in an embarrassed rage. Did he have any idea how guilty I’ve felt these last few months for making him and his family leave? How much I’ve hated myself for constantly being in danger and relying on the protection from him and the pack? And how dare he talk to me like that in my own home, when it was him who revealed my existence to the Volturi and put us all in danger?!

“Get out,” I hissed through gritted teeth, staying conscious of the fact that Charlie was asleep in the other room. It’s not like Edward couldn’t hear me perfectly anyway.

“Bella-“ I didn’t want to hear him lecture me or placate me or blame me. In fact, I didn’t want to hear his voice at all, not unless he came to his senses and agreed to the change.

“No, Edward! I want to be alone! Go away!” I raised my voice, a silent threat to wake Charlie and he knew it.

He glared at me bitterly. “I’m going to go hunt with Emmett, I’ll be here before you wake up.”

“Don’t bother. Just leave, Edward,” I whisper, exhausted by the argument and debating why I even bothered at all. I only vaguely remember why we started fighting in the first place.

A big thing that changed when the Cullens returned was my relationship with some members. With Esme gone, I’d realized how I missed having an actual mother and embraced her gratefully. Alice and I’s relationship grew strained after her encouragement of Edward’s unsavory behavior. Rosalie filled that spot as I spent more time with Emmett. Realizing our similar experiences, if opposing viewpoints, brought us closer together. Carlisle became wasn’t the same savior I thought he was, also allowing Edward to do what he wanted even though, as coven leader, he had the final say on major decisions. I knew he was mournful about our change in dynamics, but I couldn’t bring myself to forgive him, yet.

Jasper and I still didn’t talk too much, and it was made even more obvious that he tried to avoid me, even if it seemed like he didn’t want to. I constantly sought him out to explain that I didn’t blame him for my birthday and that I’d like to get closer to him. He just never gave me the chance. I knew he and Alice called it quits and it seemed like the divorce made him even more isolated that before. In the seven months I spent in my depression, I thought of Jasper often. I was distraught with guilt over my part in their leaving, I couldn’t imagine how he felt. Over time, the guilt turned into genuine feelings for him.

He consumed my thoughts, dreams and fantasies. Every time I closed my eyes, his blond hair and lopsided smirk greeted me. And when I was with Edward, I wanted Jasper. Like earlier tonight, when kissing Edward I pretended he was Jasper and got a bit too enthusiastic. Edward pulled himself away to prevent himself from “making a mistake”, the final straw.

Screw Edward.

Now I was without him again, and unlikely to take him back this time, and it wasn’t nearly so painful. I’d outgrown, out-matured Edward. And my thoughts about Jasper’s lips and body kept me from being truly upset about it. If anything, I was incredibly horny. A deep ache had settled into the pit of my stomach, neglected in favor of my Edward-induced rage. Now, it had risen to a fiery inferno of lust.

I thought back to a conversation I had with Angela while helping her with her graduation invites. We were gossiping about our relationships when she brought up sex. Though it embarrassed me to admit that I was still a virgin, Angela quickly assured me that sex wasn’t what it was all cracked up to be most of the time and that when her and Ben had sex for the first few times, she didn’t come at all. We got into the topic of masturbation and how to pleasure yourself. I left her home red faced and couldn’t look Edward in the eyes for a good while after that.

Feeling defeated and aroused, I climbed up on my bed and straddled one of my pillows. Shifting it to match Angela’s description, I lined the edge up with my slit and lowered my body onto it. The stimulation was a soothing balm to the ache of my neglected cunt, but it also wasn’t enough. I experimentally rolled my hips, the course material sliding along my clit in a way that made me gasp. I repeated the motion a few more times to get into a good rhythm before speeding up the pace. I had to drag my pillow back into place a couple of times because the force of my movements pushed it away. I slammed a palm onto the wall in front of me and leaned forward to hit a better angle. My hair fell in my face and stuck there due to built up sweat. I sunk my face into another pillow and let it muffle my whines and moans.

Leaning back, I changed the rhythm and tweaked my pebbled nipples, struggling to find the one thing that would push me over the edge. I was so close, the coil in my stomach building up but never peaking. Growing more and more helpless, I aggressively humped my pillow, needing to come. I paid little attention to the evidence of my arousal staining the pillowcase and focused entirely on how I could find release.

Letting my imagination run wild, I indulged in all of my secret fantasies that I’d never considered before. I imagined different positions and kinks, as well as foreplay. The thing that got me going was the dirty things I’d imagined Jasper saying as he wreaked my body. His voice in my fantasy was rough, deep, demanding and used to respect and obedience. Accent prominent as he bent me to his will. I felt my clit twitch the smallest bit and hurried to redirect my thoughts. Despite my feelings for him, getting off to my boyfriend’s recently-divorced brother’s voice was a new type of wrong. Especially since his ex-wife was my friend.

I couldn’t help it, though, and more thoughts about him invaded my mind. My fantasies took a different shape and went from focusing on me receiving pleasure to Jasper’s ministrations on my wanton body. In every fantasy, at every angle, I saw his handsome face and strong body maneuvering my own into bliss.

Feeling all types of wrong for how close I was, so so close, I opened my eyes with my head in the direction facing the window. I locked gaze with a pair of familiar golden eyes.

They very ones I’d been very close to orgasming to.

~*~

Running full speed to the Swan residence that was home to the family human and future vampire of our coven, I pondered all of the changes that have occurred over the past year to my family. It was the twentieth year of my abstinence of human blood in a row and the first time I’ve gone more than a decade without killing a human. There were few close calls as well, not including my almost attacking Bella, the aforementioned human. I had much to be grateful for, almost enough to match up to my regrets, both as a human and as a vampire. Lying about my age to join the C*nfederate army. Wanting to join that side of the war at all. My actions as the major in Maria’s army. The humans I slaughtered. Not killing Maria. Letting Carlisle pressure me into marrying Alice even though neither of us wanted it. Every single one of my slips. Most importantly, however, the only near slip that would scar me for life was almost murdering Isabella Swan on her eighteenth birthday.

Though I didn’t trust or like her much at first, she’d grown on me the same way she did the rest of our family, even Rose, though she’d never admit it to Bella’s face. We were ostracized even from other vampires for our way of life, not to mention the fearful humans, it was breath of fresh air to be so kindly accepted by someone like Bella. Not only did she accept us all for what we were, she praised the very thing that made us outcasts from everyone else. Her kindness and generosity for the undeserving was unwavering and magnetic.

Speaking of undeserving, I couldn’t believe that an angel such as herself could forgive us all so easily, especially Edward. On the night of the vote, as Esme swept up the shattered glass after our positions on Bella’s dilemma were decided, Bella had divulged her reasoning for accidentally breaking our window. The amount of mistrust and rage that flew off of me the second I heard about what Edward did and said to her before we left was palpable enough to affect Bella, a sense of betrayal lingering on her soft skin.

He never told us exactly what happened that afternoon, just that I had terrified her enough to break up with Edward and that he couldn’t stay in the place where he’d gotten his undead heart broken. He’d never mentioned that he was the one who shattered her heart and soul, nor the cruel words and harsh actions he’d used to do it. We acted as if her truth was the only one we’d known of and assured her that she was apart of this family, with or without her relationship with Edward. At a level she couldn’t understand, though, we took turns verbally harassing Edward for his actions and his part in hurting the poor girl.

And of course, Alice had known the whole time, before anyone else. She’d known months before that Edward was going to end things with Bella and how she’d end up as a result. She, Bella’s best friend, knew the agony she would experience and still let Edward destroy her.

Alice and I had already been separated at this point, our combined anger at my actions created a wedge in our already fractured relationship. When we’d met, we both instantly knew we weren’t right for one another in the long run. We didn’t fit correctly and didn’t want to change ourselves that much to try. Joining up with the Cullens put our arrangement with one another in jeopardy when Carlisle conditioned that in order for us to stay with them, I had to marry Alice. While I didn’t mind my pixie haired companion, and certainly enjoyed relieving stress with her, I knew neither he or myself wanted to be tied down to each other that way. But I caved in, I was grateful to her and did love her in a way, and definitely didn’t want to risk the alternative of leaving the Cullens when we’d gone through so much just to find them.

We only married once, with the Cullens present as witnesses, and only wore our rings for about a year. On all of our legal documents for when we changed locations, I put her down as my wife, but other than that I never brought up the fact that we were married and she didn’t, either.

I should’ve known our relationship was coming to a close when we’d stopped having sex. Right around the time she saw Bella enter our lives for the first time. Looking back, I should’ve been suspicious about why she no longer came to me in the dead of night the same night the police Chief’s daughter arrived. I was too blind about Edward’s odd behavior and subsequent obsession to actually question her about it. Living with the Cullens and their tamer lifestyle was making me soft.

When Bella entered our lives, Alice was ecstatic, happier than I’d ever seen her. Enthralled by her new playmate and best friend, I’d forgotten the shift in our dynamic in favor of my own interest in my brother’s young girlfriend. She was absolutely fascinating in just about every way. I felt as warm as a human experiencing what she felt when she was around us. So inviting, and curious, and sweet. I barely noticed her scent, only taking note when it heavily affected Edward.

Alice was their biggest supporter, drowning out any of their doubts or worries with a bright, knowing smile. God, I hated how much she knew. She knew everything and at the same time, nothing.

She saw far enough in the future to picture the things she wanted through rose-tinted glasses, and going through the motions to make they happened. She didn’t care of the consequences, why would she when everything would be fine anyways? This line of thinking, her thought process, and what happened to Bella because of it, is what spurred me to turn our separation into a formal divorce.

Esme was beside herself, terrified that I’d leave the family once my tie to them was gone. That was only slightly true. Initially yes, Alice was my only tie to the Cullens, an affiliation out of personal safety. And yes, my tie to them through her was gone forever, but my years spent with them tied me to them individually. Conditions, rules and ultimatums be damned, these outcasts and freaks were my family and I wouldn’t leave them. Especially now that Bella was finally going to be apart of the coven.

The reason I was headed to her house was because Alice had informed me that Emmett was going hunting. Emmett was the only make in our family I hunted with on our own, I usually preferred to hunt with the women. I’d always been protective over women and I couldn’t abandon that instinct, even though I knew they could handle themselves just fine without me. I figured that this would be a good chance to invite Edward along to clear the air between us.

Things had been tense between Edward and I, he’d always been a bit more distrustful of me then everyone else and my loss of control at Bella’s birthday party cemented this. Part of the reason he’d left after we made our leave with Forks was because he thought I’d wanted Bella for myself. I wasn’t going to lie, I am a man and human or not, she was an attractive girl, if a bit young. And her compassion towards me, that no one but Esme and Carlisle ever afforded me was invigorating. As his brother, though, Edward should’ve known I’d never let my feelings get in the way of his first chance at happiness.

Unfortunately, he’d never let go of his grudge, even now that he was reunited with Bella. I’d resolved that whatever problems they were currently having in their relationship were none of my business and respected his wish to keep my distance. I’ll admit, though, it was hard and uncomfortable, seeing as Bella was always around and sought me out often. It only worsened Edward’s ire. Maybe a good hunt, and a fair tussle would straighten us out and he’d relax a little.

Nearing the line of trees on the edge of the Swan property, I smelled the aged scent of Edward, showing he was no longer here and hadn’t been for at least half an hour. He’d already left with Emmett, I realized. Alice probably knew and set me up for some reason.

I focused on the human residents of the household, one deeply asleep and the other...energetic?

Bella’s emotions were all over the place. Anger, guilt, love, attraction, insecurity. All at the same time. The two most dominant feelings, however, were arousal and desperation. I’d never felt such aching lust such as hers. It seeped into the marble granite of my skin, making me feel a bit perverted.

Curiosity overthrowing rationality had me silently climbing the tree just outside her window onto a branch with a perfect vantage point of her on her bed. Masturbating.

I wasn’t new to the concept of pleasuring oneself. It was natural for lack of an external outlet for lust. I just never imagined Bella being the type of person to do so. While I definitely knew well that she wasn’t a prude, unlike my brother, I figured she was unfamiliar with the action. I figured wrong.

Watching her frenzied movements as she humped her pillow in search of release, I swallowed back at just how wrong I was. A sheen of sweat made her bare form glow in the dull light of her room. The hair that wasn’t pasted to her forehead and wound around her neck tumbled down the curve of her back, the curls swaying frantically in time with the thrusts of her hips. Her breaths came rapidly, harsh exhales with occasional soft moans. She was actually speaking, but didn’t seem to be aware of the fact.

“Yessss.”

“Oh!”

“Like that. Just like-ah!”

“Fuck! Oh please, please, please!”

“Such a whore, yeah! I’m your the filthy whore. Use my cunt however you want.”

“Want it inside. Cum inside me. Want it.”

“Ooh, sir, fuck me hard!”

Each phrase that passed her pouted lips stirred me up further, coupled with her emotions, a single twitch could have me barreling through the window and fucking her into next week or falling out of the tree. I’d never been so hard in my life.

I never knew Bella had a thing for dirty talk. Is this what she dreamed about? Or was it something her and my saint like brother did in private? If so, why wasn’t he hear now. If I was her boyfriend, I’d never let either of us leave the bed. We’d be worse then Emmett and Rosalie.

Except she wasn’t my girlfriend. I wasn’t her boyfriend.

She was with my brother.

And I was watching her trying to get off like a pervert.

No, I wasn’t like a pervert. I was one.

Shamed, I turned to drop from the tree, race home, and pretend I’d never come here. Hell, I’d pretend to not even know where she lived.

Then I heard it.

“Jasper...” Was she talking about me? Maybe I misheard or she misspoke?

“Oh, fuck, Jasper, yeah! I wanna come so bad. Make me come! Let me come!”

“Jasper! Jasper! Jasper!” Each repetition of my name was punctuated by a roll of her hips and a whine.

I felt my eyes turn black as I dug my fingers into the tree, splintering the dark bark. I didn’t mishear a damn thing. And she was saying it on purpose. Whatever fantasy she was having, I was the star. I was the one who was giving her an orgasm. That thought left a possessive feeling in my gut as my cock threatened to tear out of my pants.

“Bella,” I whispered, palming my dick, debating on whether I should leave or stay to witness her expression when she came.

As if she heard me, she turn her face towards the window and opened her eyes, immediately finding my own gaze which was trained on her.

A moment of silence passed before she suddenly fell off her bed. A small thud signaled a hard landing and I dosed Charlie with another layer of tranquility and exhaustion to keep him from coming in here.

Sliding up the window of her room, I pounced on her bed to make sure she was alright. A pair of bewildered, wide brown eyes locked with mine as she lie sprawled on the hardwood floor.

“Are you okay?” It’s official, this is now the last place I want to be.

“Jasper? What are you doing here?” Great question. Answer mine so I can leave.

“Not an answer. I came for Edward. He wasn’t here. I thought you were distressed about something. You are not,” I rush out, her humiliation making me both turned on and uncomfortable.

Her face told me how stupid she thought my last statement was and I was glad her sole emotion wasn’t one of embarrassment anymore.

“Well, Edward isn’t here and if he knows any better, he won’t come back,” she says bitterly, anger clouding her features. Did she dump him?

“And you’re okay?” The thud I heard sounded pretty rough.

“Obviously.”

Do I leave? I almost don’t want to anymore. She’s treating me more normally than anyone has since we got back. But she was still naked and that was distracting for both of us. I look around the room and grab a lump of fabric off the floor and offer it to her to cover up.

The cloth turns out to be an unflattering and oversized sweatshirt in a shade of deep blue. It wasn’t hard to guess who gave it to her.

“Not that I mind, but what are you still doing here?” Bella brings her knees to her chest, slightly exposing her bare pussy to my excellent eyesight but I don’t point it out. The embarrassment has finally left her system and I want to keep it gone and myself here as long as possible.

“I don’t really know,” I answer her honestly, getting comfortable on her bed and shifting so she could join me.

Climbing on the bed and sitting as far from me as possible, Bella let’s out a sigh and continues to stare at me.

“So you and Edward are quarreling again?” Oh you’ve got to fucking kidding me, Whitlock. You have a gorgeous, semi nude girl who you caught moaning your name while fucking her pillow and you bring up her fucking boyfriend?!

Bella looks mildly irritated at my question, obviously still upset with my brother, but opens her mouth to answer anyways.

“It’s not just a fight this time. Actually I feel like all of our recent arguments have been leading up to this. It’s so tiring trying to argue with a wall. When he left, I just told him not to come back and I meant it. I’ve never done that before. But I can’t be with someone who constantly invalidates my feelings and risks our relationship for his own selfish reasons,” she bemoans, her misery at trying so hard for her relationship only to fail hitting her hard. As much as I thought she deserved better, Edward was who she wanted and she didn’t have him anymore.

“Well, either way, the whole family is in your corner, no matter what. Truth is, we had no idea what Edward had done to end things with you, he’d painted it make it seem like you’d ended things because I’d scared you,” I said sheepishly.

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Oh no, that wasn’t it at all. I kinda figured he would’ve embellished the truth, but not to that extent. You have to know Jasper that I never once blamed you for that night. It wasn’t your fault, or anyone’s. It was just an unfortunate incident.”

Could this girl be anymore wonderful? Not only did she forgive me, but she was never upset with me in the first place? God, how did Edward not give her whatever she wanted whenever she wanted it. If she were mine, I’d be her loyal slave, and happy about it. I’d spend every moment bending to her every whim.

I wanted her to be mine. I just wanted her, period.

“Bella, you couldn’t possibly understand how much that means to me. I’ve been torturing myself with the thought that you feared me and didn’t want me around. So, I couldn’t be happier that you’ve said that,” I thank her, feeling as if I could cry if I had the ability.

Compassion and heartache cloud her face and she hurriedly rushes to my side, placing a hand in my thigh and the other cupping my jaw. How distracting! How did Edward resist her, I wonder for the umpteenth time tonight.

“Of course, not! I couldn’t ever fear you, Jasper! I should’ve come to you sooner and told you. I’m glad that now we’ll have the opportunity to spend more time together. Given my upcoming change and my relationship with Edward ending,” she added, looking at me through her lashes, fearing rejection.

Not only did Edward resist her but he rejected her as well? What the hell was wrong with that boy?

“I’m very relieved your joining our family for good. It’s been made abundantly clear that we can no longer function without you,” I tell her. I know what she’s trying to tell me but I’m done with her implications. I want the girl who was desperately fucking herself with a pillow like a little bitch in heat, I wanted her to acknowledge that only I could give her what she craved. I wanted her to beg.

Surprise is written all over her face. It’s clear that I understood what she was implying and she’s confused on my response. I’ll give her as long as she needs to figure it out.

Smirking, I stroke a gentle finger along her throat. As overjoyed as I was to find out she doesn’t fear me and never did, I was still dangerous to her as a human and she liked that.

“Um, I-uh, I’m glad too. No more of this fragile, clumsy human business anymore,” she stammered, her heartbeat racing under my fingertip.

“Durability is quite the advantage as a vampire. Though I will admit that I’ll miss the clumsiness,” I murmur boldly. It’s true, though. I quite like her fawn-like gait. Maybe it’ll transfer over as a vampire.

“Hmph, I sure won’t,” she bites out. Looks like I sparked a nerve. Interesting. Time to change the subject.

“What exactly about the durability entices you, Bella,” I drawl out, emphasizing her name with my now thicker accent. I see her throat struggle to swallow before she answers.

“Besides the fact that it’ll be harder for our supernatural enemies to hurt me or use me to hurt you?” Her bravado is clearly false but I applaud her for trying to fool me.

“Tut. Tut. Tut. I can tell you’re lying, Bella,” I admonish mockingly. She shifts her body to be leaning towards me and I notice that I’ve done the same.

“Um,” she begins nervously, unsure if whether she should say so. She continues anyway. “It would’ve been easier to be more physically affectionate with Edward as a vampire. Not that I want that anymore.”

While it made me upset that that was her reasoning, I can’t truly fault her either. She was truly in love with him before he’d fucked it up. It was clear that her ignored advances had made her insecure about her looks and I seethed at that.

“Who said Edward is the only one who wants you? And trust me, you don’t need to be a vampire to fuck one, I promise, sugar,” I coo, throwing her a bone to ease her esteem. She wants to be wanted, and I’ve long decided to give her exactly what she wants.

She gasps. “Really? I thought it was impossible.” Her confusion was so cute. Her furrowed eyebrows were so adorable that o though about the other ways I could make them do that.

“It is impossible, for a virginal prude like Edward. A boy who knows nothing of sex or how to pleasure a woman,” I declare, making the clear distinction between her and Edward. Their problem was that when he left her broken, he gave her the opportunity to mend her self into someone who outgrew and matured past him. An opportunity which she took.

“What you need,” I continue, leaning into her warm body and she leans upward to kneel above me, “is a man to treat you and that delectable body the way you deserve.”

By the end of my sentence, I have one hand resting in her thigh, just above her knee, and the other high on her waist, my hand having found it’s way under that horrible sweatshirt and my thumb skirting under her breast. Her hand had shifted from my thigh to my hip, fingers curving around my belt, and the one cupping my face now wound into my hair.

Breathing once again heavy, she again tries to seek in control. “And you’re the man for the job?”

“Fuck, yes,” I hum, meeting her challenge and slotting my lips against hers.

So soft and sweet, the flavor and feeling were addictive. I could see why Edward struggled, but I wouldn’t.

She kept mostly still while I kissed her and I angrily realized that this was a condition of affection with Edward. I egged her into kissing me back and ran my cool tongue along her bottom lip as encouragement. Falling into it easily, Bella moaned into my mouth and eagerly allowed my tongue into her mouth. Exploring, I slowly massaged her tongue with my own, a silent urging to slow down. I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, and I wanted her to enjoy this for as long as possible.

But I guess months of pent up sexual repression took its toll because she ignored me and used her grip on my hair and hip to pull herself closer to me. Going at her pace, l pulled her by her leg to straddle my thigh. The same position I’d found her in when I’d arrived. She pushed her entire weight on me, wanting to get as close as possible, and I welcomed her happily. My thumb was no longer stroking her ribs, but clutching her tits and lightly tugging her nipples as I’d seen her do to herself. She moaned and ground her hips onto my flexing thigh, wetness seeping through the fabric quickly. Her pace was rough, choppy, so I grabbed her hips myself and symmetric her at a much smoother pace. Once she got the hang of it and was moving on her own, my hands returned to her torso to remove the one piece of clothing she had on and allowed me full access to her body.

She seemed slightly embarrassed to be fully naked while I was fully clothed and her hips stuttered. I once again got her going but I didn’t let go this time. Bouncing my thigh, I dragged her greedy pussy as she cried out my name and yanked my hair. By now, my leg was soaked and I pulled my lips from hers as she arched her back so I could give her neglected tits some well-deserved attention. Pulling a pert nipple into my mouth, I rolled the pink bud in my mouth and tugged gently. Non-stop moans poured from her mouth loudly as she neared her first orgasm.

Forcing her hips harder, faster, I helped her chase her release. With a final yelp, she let go and came all over my thigh, eyes squeezed shut and mouth open. As she calmed down a little, I checked to make sure Charlie was still sleeping and luckily he hadn’t stirred in the slightest bit. Good. I’d need him like that until morning.

Leaning away from her, I surveyed my work. Her legs were twitching slightly, pussy swollen, chest heaving with small marks around her breasts from my mouth, lips swollen and eyes scanning over me.

“Is something wrong?” She seemed to be perfectly enjoying herself but if she wanted to stop there was nothing to do than what she wanted.

“No,” she drew out, exaggerating the ‘oh’ sound. A small smile tugged at her lips.

“Then what?” Even now, she confused me.

“You’re wearing too many clothes. I want them off,” she commanded. How cute. She thought being a brat would get her anywhere. For now it would, this was clearly her first time and we quite literally had all the time in the world. Besides, it’d be more fun to let her think she was in charge for now.

I’d indulge her for now. “Whatever you say, Princess.” I felt her shiver at the nickname as I shrugged out of my shirt and mentally catalogued that response for later.

As she marveled at my physique, I pondered how I’d get out of my pants and shoes without having to move her off of me. The smell of her cum reached my nose as I got lost in thought while rubbing her thighs. God, she smelled good. Probably tasted even better.

Even better.

Focusing on her face and she waited impatiently for me to continue, I leaned back so my head hit her pillows, coincidentally finding myself on the pillow she was humping. Before she could question me, I yanked her forward to kneel above my face.

Panic set into her features as she registered my intentions. Doubts were intercepting her lust.

“I don’t want to hear it, Bella. I don’t need to breath and I have super strength. I’ll be fine. Get down here and fuck my face, now!”

Although the lust had set back in, she was still unsure.

“I don’t know why you’re so shy when you just made a mess all over my lap. And not to mention the pillow. Just do that again,” I ordered, taking note of a fresh wave of her arousal at my words and the fact that I was admitting to watching her. It seems my new lover have a thing for degradation and exhibitionism.

She slowly started lowering herself down, angling so that she was lined up with my mouth. She was going a little too slow but I wanted her to want this as much as I did. Still, as soon as she got within reach, I lifted my neck to plunge my tongue into her dripping cunt. Instantly, I started thrusting in and out while lapping up her juices and making sure my nose was hitting her clit. Her hands immediately yanked my hair even though she tried to pull her hips away from my insistent mouth.

Soon she was grinding against me and her little whimpers and whines reached my ears. Her thighs closed around my head as she dragged her slit up and down. I lazily whirled my tongue and moaned and the vibration caused shudders along her body, her legs starting to shake. She was losing energy but still wanted to come. I quickly removed my remaining clothes and wrapped my hands around her thighs and renew vigorously tongue-fucking that sweet pussy. Shoving my face between her legs fully, I felt like all I could see, taste, smell and feel was Bella’s cunt. All I could hear were her angelic moans as she again neared her second orgasm. I thought it couldn’t get any better for me. By far the best moment in my long life.

Then I felt a small, warm hand wrap around my hard cock.

Holy fuck, it got better.

Sure she was inexperienced and was clueless on what to do, but it felt fucking amazing. She pumped me in time to each of my thrusts into her. I started rocking my hips into her hand, keeping in mind that I had to reign in my strength as to not hurt her.

We were both moaning loudly, both so close and I wanted to come so badly but I couldn’t. I needed her to come at least three times before I did once and I needed to come inside her. As far as I was concerned, Bella’s pussy was my happy place. Truly magical.

Removing my hands from her thighs, I guided her free hand to her nipples and got her to start tugging on ‘em to her leisure. With that same hand, I entered two fingers inside her and began pumping those alongside my tongue. With my other free hand, I wrapped my fingers around the ones on my dick, showing her how to do it correctly and how I liked it. For future reference, of course. I was still holding out right now.

She came within seconds after that and collapsed backwards, head landing on my thigh. Again, I rubbed her thigh soothingly, wanting to give her some time to adjust. I wondered if she’d even last for another orgasm. I was surprised she could take, too. Still. One of these days, I was going to bury myself between her legs and not come up for hours. I wanted her to be crying, begging and constantly coming. We’d have to establish a safe word for a lot of the things I wanted to do.

As I was wondering if I should give her a break for the night, she suddenly turned around so her stomach was flat against my body, wrapped her hands around my still erect cock and began kitten licked. It took all of my strength, control and resistance training from over the years to hold back from grabbing the back of her head and fucking her beautiful face. That would definitely have to wait til she’s a vampire.

“Shit, baby, mmmm...” I groaned, ducking my chin to lap up the rest of her orgasm. She moaned against the head which she’d begun sucking on and I almost came all over her face. The thought alone was tempting. “So good. Fuckkk.”

I felt her satisfaction and elation at my praise and catalogued that one for later, too.

“Does it feel good, sir?” She tried taking me deeper but wanted my input first. What a good girl.

“So good, Princess, you’ve got no idea. Mmmm,” I purposely hummed into her lips and she mewled, lightly thrusting her hips into my all-too-willing mouth. “I thought you’d be too tired to continue. Tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

This set her off into a panic, shocking me. “No! I don’t wanna stop, yet! I want more!”

“What a greedy little pussy you have!” I suck her lip and clit into my mouth and she sits up to try to get a better angle before pulling off completely.

I would’ve protested and tried to pull her back but she turned around completely to face me again and sat back onto my lap. So beautiful.

“You haven’t come. I want to make you feel good, too,” she explains shyly, glancing down at my bobbing erection.

“You’re so sweet, you deserve to be rewarded! Do you want my cock in you, doll? Want me to fuck you with it? Come in that tight, little cunt of yours?” Her eyes light up at the thought before a slight look of fear enters her eyes. Fuck, her hymen. I hope she’s not too scared because I can handle it just fine.

“What if it doesn’t fit? You’re big,” she frets. I try not to preen at her observation since it’s bothering her but I’m quick to reassure her.

“Don’t worry, it’ll fit. And don’t worry about me tearing your hymen, my control is much better,” I soothe, intertwining our fingers.

At my words, she giggles softly and then full on laughs at my face. “Oh, I accidentally tore my hymen years ago! Clumsy, remember?”

Leave it to the beautiful klutz seated in my lap to be the one calming my nerves. I could easily fall for her. I probably already was, but I’ll give her all the time she needs to heal from my brother.

I lie there, just staring at her, taking her in, before my little brat becomes impatient with me again. I’m going to have to train her about that. Oh, I couldn’t wait to punish her one day soon.

She grabs my cock and pulls it towards her pussy, running it up and down her slit, moaning lightly. Or maybe she was moaning really loudly, I can’t tell over my own moans and the ringing in my ears.

I sit up and pull her with me. I slowly began easing her down my dick before bottoming out. I wait til the look of discomfort leaves her face and start guiding her hips until she was bouncing on her own. I pulled her into a kiss as she struggled to find purchase on my shoulders, pulling her bottom lip into my mouth and her tongue tracing my lips.

She wraps her arms around my shoulders and move my mouth from hers down to her neck and shoulders and chest. She sobbing at all the stimulation she’s getting and I reach a hand down to start rubbing her clit. My other hand he’s to her tut to hold it in place for my mouth. I start whispering dirty things in her ears, all of the things I planned on doing, as well as sweet nothings, also things I planned on doing.

“Fuckin’ take my cock, greedy little whore!”

“Doing so well, baby, yeah, ride it. Use me.”

“Gonna to fill this cunny up all the way! Won’t be walkin’ for weeks!”

“Oh, you feel so good, sugar, the best! Wanna make you feel good!”

“Can’t wait to turn ya. Gonna fuck you on everythin’, everywhere. Bend you over. Fuck that dirty little mouth, show you who you belong to! You’re fuckin’ mine! This pussy? Mine! Ain’t nobody fuckin’ you this good! Ain’t nobody gonna! Ain’t that right! Don’t you dare fuckin’ come! Not til I say so! Beg! Now!”

Tears were streaking her face, legs shaking, hips stuttering and pace uneven. I almost felt sorry for her. If it wasn’t for the fact that she was still fucking me, holding herself as close to me as possible. Chanting my name like a prayer.

“Come on, darlin’, all’s you gotta do is beg a little. Say it, baby. Tell me how much you want it,” I huff, encouraging her. I was so close but I needed her to come one last time before I let go.

“Need it,” she shrieked, trying to find her words. “I need it, Jasper! I need to come. Want it more then anything! Love you so much! Make me come all over your fat cock! Make me yours, please! Please please please!”

“Let go, baby,” I amended, grabbing her hips so I could come right after her. She loved me. I was gonna spoil my baby rotten for the rest of forever.

She screamed as she came rutting frantically and clenching down on me hard. I started fucking up into her hard, thrusts going deep inside her. At the same time I was yanking her down the same moment my hips went up.

“Ooh, fuck fuck fuck Bella fuck fuck fuck fuck,” I growled, sending myself over the edge and she cried from the overstimulation. “Fuck! Bellaaaaa!”

I collapsed onto the bed taking her with me. Her hot cheeks being soothed by my cool chest as I played with her now tangled hair. She ran her fingers up and down my abdomen, feeling the contours of my body, trying to memorize it.

“Jasper?” Her voice was sleepy.

“Hmm?” I’d clean her up when she fell asleep and watch over her

“That was a bit intense for my first time.” Oh, shit! Did she not like it?

“I’m sorry,” I apologize, rubbing her back. She tenses up, suddenly rejuvenated.

“No! No! Not in a bad way! I can’t wait for the next time, actually. What you’ll do next,” she insists, smiling softly.

“Well, in that case,” I mutter as I flip her onto her back for round two.

Enjoy this, folks! It’s unrelated to my multi-chapter fic, though they share a similar plot

So Stephanie Me*er deadass made Jasper a C*o federate for no logical reason that was in any way necessary to the plot….

But didn’t have him apologize directly to Bella after trying to kill her in New Moon.

The math ain’t mathing on this one, fam

Especially since in the very next book, he’s giving her his whole life story and they’re all buddy-buddy.

Make it make sense

Eclipse Reimagined

Takes place in New Moon, after they get back from Volterra and the Cullens return to Forks, the voting scene

Warnings: this is rated 17+ for mild language, suggestive references, sexual tension and mature themes, mentions/references of self-harm and suicide (throughout the entire series, not just this particular chapter, later chapters will feature sex)

Summary: After saving Edward from the Volturi, the Cullens are back in Forks and discussing the promise Alice made to Aro. Bella has something very important to say, and there are some big changes because of it. Bella’s POV and basically what this scene should’ve been

Side note: Jasper is NOT a C*nfederate in this fic or any of my other ones that I write him in

Edit: I had to heavily edit and repost this as I realized that the timeline of Bella and Jasper’s relationship was moving too fast. I want this to be a more accurate representation of recovery from depression because this book does focus more on Bella’s relationships with all of the Cullens rather than a romantic relationship. I’ll still feature it, but everything was moving too fast

It was weird, seeing them all again, once the exhaustion and mortal terror had worn off. They we’re all exactly the same, of course, just as I left them. Well, actually, just as they left me. But I was seeing them with different eyes, the last several months altering my perception of them in ways I never imagined.

They were all still beautiful. So beautiful. Heart-achingly beautiful. Carlisle was still the same golden god-like being he was a year ago. Emmett still the modern-day Hercules I’d known him to be. Rosalie was a bit different. While still the ethereal angel I remembered, there was a new kindness in her ochre eyes that I’d never seen directed at me before.

It was this minuscule change that forced the remainder of the rose-colored glasses I had plastered to my face to finally fall, and I noticed all the small details I’d been blind to before.

Carlisle’s innate calm and compassionate aura was compromised, the dark circles under his eyes being his new prominent feature. The golden light that he exuded was dimmed, worry and anxiety coloring him gray. Esme, sweet and motherly, stood at his side, with the unnatural stillness that I’d associated with every vampire but her and Alice.

Speaking of Alice, the waif-like girl was also completely still, but more dazedly, as if recovering from a great shock. So focused on the future when her present was falling apart. Jasper stood a few feet behind her, pointedly not looking at anything at all, but especially not me. It reminded me of the first time I’d ever laid eyes on them on my first day at Forks High. Looking at everything and nothing at all.

Emmett and Rosalie stood closest to me out of them all. Edward was dramatically draped along the stairs parallel from his sire. Emmett had abandoned standing still, practically vibrating with nervous energy, like an oversized puppy. He was wrapped around Rosalie, trying to center himself through her apparent tranquility.

Silent and mostly still as they all were, I took initiative to speak first.

“We all know why we’re here tonight. You all might not know the specifics or details, but my point remains. Alice told Aro that I would become one of you, even insisting she’d change me herself,” I paused, gathering the rest of what I wanted to say and preparing myself for the rest. I couldn’t even utter the word ‘vampire’ despite coming to terms with it and accepting the stupid word.

“I either get turned into a-into a vampire, or I am killed,” I continue, gaining confidence slowly. “I know I have to be turned, but ultimately, it’s your choice if you want me in this family. So I say we put it to a vote.” I already knew the answer but I was hoping I’d be proven wrong.

Both Esme and Emmett looked absolutely shocked, the first real expression I’d seen on either of them. Carlisle audibly sucked in an unneeded breath, but there was no other reaction from him. Alice was seemingly still not paying any mind to the discussion. Jasper looked up suddenly from a very interesting part of the floor and looked directly into my eyes. It occurred to me that I’ve never really made direct eye contact with him. I didn’t bother looking at Edward.

Of course, that didn’t stop him from adding his two cents in anyway.

“No. No. Absolutely not. There will be no vote because there is nothing to discuss. You will not become one of us, Bella. I forbid tarnishing your soul like that,” he spat, leaping from the steps to stand in the center of the lopsided circle we’d all formed.

“This isn’t an independent choice, Edward. I want to hear what they have to say,” I argued, walking around him to stand in front of Carlisle and Esme to make my point. I didn’t say the rest of my thought, that this decision wasn’t really a choice at all anymore, because of Edward.

Emmett didn’t wait for his parents to make their choice before coming up to me and gently taking my hand his huge stony one.

“No way in hell is my answer ever going to be a no. You will be a vampire and this is your family,” he insisted, leaning down to convey his sincerity.

Rosalie spoke up after him.

“Bella, I don’t want you to assume I don’t want you in this family or that I would be okay with your death. But vampirism isn’t something we chose, and it isn’t something I wanted for myself. Therefore, I won’t make that choice for you. I’m happy to have you in our family, but I don’t like that vampirism is your only choice,” Rosalie spoke softly, no trace of her usual malice or contempt. She glared at Edward in her last sentence, obviously blaming him.

I nodded, expecting the ‘no’ from her and looked to Alice. Still off in her own mind or her visions, I finally eyed what Jasper’s gaze had been locked on since I’d arrived.

A wave of embarrassment flooded me as the sparkly shards of glass gleamed on the floor near the entrance. The glass fragments from the window I accidentally broke when returning the money Carlisle and Edward had sent me for college. I didn’t regret doing it, it was just embarrassing to remember that my aim was that bad.

At the suddenly fluctuation in my mood, Jasper looked up at me again, taking the chance to voice his opinion.

“I say yes.” Simple, concise, giving nothing away. Jasper.

As if those three words were enchanted, Alice finally snapped out of her trance.

“Of course, obviously yes. I already consider you my sister,” she beamed enthusiastically, a wide smile on her face, as if she’d been part of the conversation all along. I vaguely remembered Edward calling her annoying and couldn’t help but agree for once.

Esme reached out to cradle my face, gaining my attention and pulling me away from Emmett, who’d stood dutifully at my side. She stroked my face lovingly, brushing stray hairs from my eyes and cheeks.

“How could you ever expect us to say no?”

This is what broke the dam that had been building up inside me from the moment I realized that they’d all left and that they weren’t coming back for me, not a single one of them.

My eyes reared up and I pushed her hands away from my face. Why was I giving them the chance to burrow their way back into my life? I was miserable and now they’re here, acting as if nothing happened. Not even an apology. I backed away from all of them, even as Emmett tried to come back to my side, I shoved away, backing up until I hit the foot of the stairs.

Then, I let it all loose. I let myself feel it. After months of telling myself that it was healing. It was gone. Jacob was fixing me. Except he wasn’t. He was taking the edge off, giving me the strength I needed to heal myself, the Sun heating up a frozen tundra of pain. But I was still so cold, still hurting, and I couldn’t turn away from it or ignore it anymore. A sunny day couldn’t change a permanent climate. I’d thought that’s what I’d wanted all along. It’s why I came here tonight, I wanted my family back. But they’d left me. Were they ever my family to begin with?

Jasper gasped and leaned awkwardly away from the onslaught of my emotions, an ocean of everything I’d felt since they left. He seemed physically pained by my mental anguish.

“How could I expect the people who left me to turn me away? Now that’s an interesting question,” I began, voice low and overly calm.

Edward turned and opened his mouth.

“Shut up. Just shut up. It’s my turn. I am going to say my piece and you are all going to fucking listen to me!” I was yelling by the end, it was unnecessary, they could all hear me perfectly if I was mouthing my words.

“How could I assume you’d say no? Hmm? Excellent question, Esme. Let’s start with you, Edward. How could I assume that you, the guy who took me into the woods to break up with me and left me there, could say he didn’t want me in his family?” Bitter sarcasm dripped from my tone, and I glared at someone who I once thought was the love of my life.

“Bella-“ He tried again.

“Nope, still my turn. Nothing to worry about, though, I’m done with you. I only went to Volterra to stop you from doing something stupid, and because I love you. But I’m not in love with you anymore, Edward. I don’t want to be with you. I’m done with your manipulation and controlling,” I stated, standing firm as I watched his perfect face crumple in confusion and distress.

The rest of the Cullens looked at me shocked, Esme looking between Edward and I in disappointment and shock. I laughed with no humor, narrowing my eyes at all of them.

“You all left me. You didn’t want the weak, useless human around to play with anymore, so you took off, not even considering what would happen to me.” I whimpered, letting the sadness over some the rage momentarily, before my gaze landed on Alice, and suddenly, it was back.

“And you, my so-called sister. You want to know what the worst part is? I called you and emailed you every single day, begging you to come back. And then I remembered how your visions worked. Decisions. You knew. You knew this whole time. You knew how I’d end up if you left the way you did, and you let it happen,” I sobbed, the anger triggering my tear ducts.

“Edward, you knew, too. And you did it anyway. You knew I’d end up miserable and basically catatonic and you shattered my heart anyway,” I cried, waves of tears clouding the guilty expression on his mournful face. I didn’t care about sparing his feelings anymore, not after remembering all the times I purposely hurt myself and almost died just to hear his chiding voice.

“What?”

Emmett came at me again, enraged. His large frame shook with each slow step. His once bright butterscotch eyes were black with anger, but I didn’t have it in me to back away.

“Bella, what the hell are you talking about,” Rosalie questions for him, explains what he was asking. As if she didn’t know.

“Are you fucking serious?” They stomped on my heart, tore my entire mentality into shreds and abandoned me just when I felt like I was truly being loved and cared for, and had the gall to act as if they didn’t know.

“Bella, we left because you broke up with Edward. You said you couldn’t deal with our world anymore, but swore to keep it to yourself,” Jasper said, ducking farther behind Alice and turning around to look out the large windows. His reflection was distorted by my human eyes and the dimness of the lights. Esme came closer to me, acting as if Edward wasn’t there as she skirted around him. Rosalie stayed where she was, eyes focused on Emmett. Carlisle looked lost, confused and distrustful, expressions I’d never seen on him. Alice moved slightly in Edward’s direction, going to comfort him.

“Please, tell us what happened,” Carlisle pleaded, coming out of his stupor.

It never once occurred to me that they didn’t know. I’d always believed that the entire family acted as a unit. I don’t know if it made it more painful for me. As painful as it was to recount it, though, I wanted them to know. I wanted them to know everything I went through and felt. Because even if they were unaware, they still left, never bothered to check in on me or say goodbye. Just because they didn’t have the intention, doesn’t mean they’d hurt me any less. I sighed before retelling the events of the last several months.

“The day you left, Edward walked me out to the woods, away from the path. He told me that more and more people noticed Carlisle’s lack of aging that that you all needed to leave. He made it clear I wasn’t invited along. He said I wasn’t good for him, good enough for him, that vampires’ attentions were so fleeting and that he was sorry he left our relationship go on for so long.

“He left after making me promise to not do anything reckless and promising that it’ll be like he never existed. I tried to follow him at first, but I ended up just getting lost. So I tried to find my way out, but it got dark and I was tired and heartbroken.

“I collapsed, it was cold and I think a part of me hoped to die. Sam Uley found me before pneumonia could really set in. He saved my life,” I finished, the slight silver lining in it all curbing my anger.

“At least those mutts are good for something,” Alice growled, her normally gorgeous face twisted into an ugly grimace.

“Don’t! Don’t call them that. They sacrifice a normal life to protect their tribe and land. They saved my life multiple times, not just when I jumped from that cliff. Remember Laurent and Victoria, who I told you would come back for revenge? Well, I was right. She did come back, and she wants to kill me. The Quileute pack is the only thing that kept me alive. Jacob is the only person who kept me happy and feeling almost complete. It was him, not you. Not any of you. I don’t want to hear a single one of you call those brave boys any sort of derogatory term or insult ever again!” I never imagined myself resenting Alice for any reason, but this was the last straw. Manipulating my future, using me as a human doll, guilting me, I could deal with that. But the pack were my friends and the only ones who were there for me in my time of need. They weren’t. I couldn’t trust the Cullens anymore.

“You know what, I’m not even going to give you the opportunity. I’m done. I’m done wasting my breath on you, trying to be good enough for you. I’ll find some other way to avoid being executed by the Volturi.

“All I wanted was to be loved by someone who didn’t consider me a burden. You said I was family, and familial love is unconditional. But this isn’t love, and I’m tired of having to fight for something I should just receive. I raised my own mother, who neglected me, had me pay the bills and buy our groceries. She completely demolished my room as soon as I left for a craft room. When I met you, I thought ‘this is what love is supposed to look and feel like’ but I was wrong. And I’m not sitting around for it any longer. I’m not listening to your lies.

“Funnily enough, Rosalie is the only one of you I consider trustworthy. Because even though she didn’t like me, disproved of my relationship with Edward, at the very least, she didn’t lie about it. She never promised me a lifetime of family and happiness when it would never happen. All of you did. And I deserve better than that. I do. I deserve better,” I finally finish, having walked to the door. Even to my own ears, my last words sounded untrue. If I’d never received real love, maybe I just didn’t deserve it.

“Wait, Bella, just let us give you a ride. Then you don’t ever have to speak to the likes of me again. I promise that my selfishness and evil won’t ever plague your heart ever again,” Edward blubbered, of course finding any excuse to make this about him.

“No. I’d rather take my chances dying out in the woods by walking than ever getting in your car again,” I answer, not admitting that I was still afraid of his driving. Edward ducked his head shamefully.

I walked out, breathing in the cold night air and trekking down the gravel drive way, happy that it was only cold and not rainy.

It occurred to me not five minutes later that the driveway was a mile long and that I’d be here a while just getting to the main road. Then I’d have to make my way all the way across town just to get to my house. Still, I wouldn’t let go of my pride and call one of them, I meant what I said.

I didn’t care about what they said Edward told them. They still left. I was still miserable and depressed. They automatically believed him, didn’t even question him, or check up on me. Unintentionally or not, it doesn’t change the effect.

Ten minutes later, in the second half of my walk down the driveway and near a thickening in the trees that hid the Cullen mansion, I felt a presence and halted my steps.

“Either you kill me or you fuck off, not many options here and I am not in the mood for anymore bullshit tonight,” I called out into the darkness, not bothering to turn around. Maybe Laurent was lying and Victoria would let her anger get the best of her and kill me quickly.

“How about we do neither and I talk to my younger sister. If you’re still alright with me calling you that?” His hesitant and sad tone made my heart lurch. But I held firm.

“I don’t want a ride, Emmett.”

“Okay, then I’ll walk with you. If Victoria and Laurent are still after you, I can’t let your friends have all the fun,” he chirped jovially, his usual good mood restored.

“It’s just Victoria, actually. The wolves got Laurent after he tried to kill me,” I explained. I meant what I said, but most of my anger was targeted at Edward and Alice. While I was still ticked off at the rest, Emmett made it hard to be mad at him.

“Awh! I mean, I’m glad you’re okay, but I hated that I missed out on that!” I knew what he was doing, but all my suffering would be for nothing if I just forgave him. Even if I was never directly mad a Emmett specifically, he still believed Edward’s lies and left me to suffer.

“Did you really think I was scared of you?” The million dollar question.

“No, not really. But everyone was freaked out over your birthday. Jasper was having a vampire aneurysm. And Rosie was eager to leave, explore and get out of high-school. She’s very happy that you trust her, by the way,” he stage-whispers. I could hear the guilt in his voice, though.

“Emmett, I would never ask you to choose between Rosalie, your mate, and me. That’s not fair,” I assuage. I was still most definitely upset that he left but I can’t blame him for circumstances out of his control.

“I know, but still. It’s not like they could’ve stopped me or forced me to go. I chose to. I left you, a person I love very much, behind because I let everyone get the better of me. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

“I can’t forgive you for leaving, for your part in making me feel the way I did. I can say I do, and for a moment, I may even feel like I do. But it wouldn’t be real, and it wouldn’t last. If you want forgiveness, it’ll take time, and work. From both of us. But, I can forgive you for conforming to the rest of them, though. I can do that,” I tell him thickly. I don’t know what I wanted from the Cullens, but if I wanted anything, it had to be a two-way effort, and I wasn’t alone in that anymore.

“Thank you.” The relief in his voice was thick and if he were capable, I’d think he was tearing up a little.

“So you gonna walk me all the way home?” We walked in companionable silence for a while before I had to ask.

“There are definitely faster ways to, but yes. Guarding it, too. Need to keep away Victoria and get away from Edward’s mopey ass,” he replied, throwing faux punches in the air.

“Could you keep away Edward, too? It creeps me out how he could so easily get into my room when I’m asleep and unaware. I always hated when he would watch me, but when we were dating, I thought it was cute. But it’s not. It’s creepy and slightly perverted. Please, don’t let him get into my house,” I beg. For most of those seven months, I did nothing but replay the memories of my entire relationship with Edward. Over time, the glow of them faded to reveal just how disproportionate and toxic we were to each other.

“What?!” A new voice.

Jasper stalked out of the shadows, an expression of rage painting his heavenly face. It was the same look Emmett had on his face earlier, when I mentioned how I was doing when they were gone. Only much, much scarier.

“Edward did what?” His voice was much calmer now, sensing and probably misreading my apprehension and fear. Even after everything that’s happened, I wasn’t afraid of Jasper.

“Hey, Jas, where’d you come from?” Emmett proved that most vampires had the attention span of a goldfish.

“I had the same idea as you; make sure Bella got home safe. What did Edward do?” Jasper disproved that vampires had the attention span of a goldfish.

“Before and during our relationship, Edward would sneak into my room at night and watch me sleep. Said he was protecting me and thought I was fascinating. It’s a lot creepier to me now than it was then,” I explain. Emmett and Jasper exchange a look.

“We knew he went to your house every night but we just thought he was watching out for your property, not inside of it. That’s all kinds of messed up. Don’t you worry, sugar, no one will be bothering your slumber tonight as long as me and Emmett are around,” Jasper declared, slapping a hand on Emmett’s shoulder.

A strange warmth filled me at the nickname and I shivered, playing it off by acting like I was colder than I was. It was pretty cold, now that I thought about it, and the ice statues on either side of me weren’t helping all that much.

After a few minutes, Emmett’s innate impatience got the best of him.

“Can’t we just run you home, Bell? This walking business will take forever,” he complained, shuffling around and kicking up rocks because of the excess energy.

“I was under the impression that vampires don’t really notice the passage of time,” I quip, leaning towards Jasper to avoid the dirt Emmett was kicking up.

“Well, those vampires have never been around you. Besides, it’s too cold for you to be walking around at this time of night,” Jasper retorts, leaning away from me. Probably for his own control.

“Spent the last year avoiding gruesome death only to be taken out by hypothermia,” I deadpanned, rolling my eyes.

The silence after my joke was near deafening and I realized that I’d made that joke in the wrong company. Jacob and Quil would’ve laughed, but the vampires who were paranoid over my safety might find my dark sense of humor less than amusing. Especially since they got back only months after nearly killing me themselves.

Jasper was flexing his hands, seemingly unconsciously, and had his face turned away from me. Eyes trained on the forest, he probably saw it all perfectly, despite the darkness. Emmett was staring at the stars, a near serene look upon his face. I could tell he didn’t find my joke all that funny, but he wasn’t upset by it. Not like Jasper clearly was, for whatever reason.

Taking a large risk, I swung my hand over to “accidentally” brush my fingers along the back of Jasper’s hand apologetically. He flexed his fingers once again in response, surprised by the gesture and batting my attempt at reconciliation away. Not entirely forgiven then. I flushed at the reminder that vampires weren’t nearly as physically affectionate as the wolves I’d been keeping company with.

After a pregnant and awkward pause, Jasper spoke.

“I’m gonna got back to the house and get my car. It’s too cold out here for you, Bella, and you’re clearly exhausted. I’ll be right back,” he declared without looking at me. He sprinted off into the trees, headed in the general direction of the house.

Me and Emmett stopped walking but didn’t talk. Jasper was right, though, it was freezing out here and I was so tired, of everything. Mentally and physically. I pulled my thin sweater tighter against me and tried to keep my teeth from chattering now that the initial spurt of adrenaline I’d had had run it’s course.

“He still blames himself, you know. That thing you said, about vampires not feeling the effects of time, it doesn’t apply to Jasper, at least not when it comes to you,” Emmett commented, staring off into the area where Jasper had disappeared. He’d been waiting to say this and waited until Jasper was out of earshot to do so.

“He didn’t want to leave, after your birthday. He felt like he owed you an apology and more. He wanted to stay behind, but when Edward had come back the next day, saying that you were afraid and had broken up with him, it’s like something had been drained out of him. For the first few months, this awful grief surrounded him constantly, the guilt overwhelmed me and everyone else. It’s why me and Rosie got married again, so that we’d have an excuse to leave.

“We got back to the main family a few days before Edward had taken off to Volterra. We got the news that you’d killed yourself and that Edward was going to the brothers to do the same. Oh god, that was the worst feeling! Not only dealing with my own grief, but Jasper was enhancing and emitting everything he was feeling. Sent me flat on my back, it was that painful.” Emmett winced, apparently caught up in the memory of that day.

I’d never really thought about my relationship with Jasper. He was Edward’s handsome older brother, my best friend’s husband, the Cullen I knew the least about. Edward had always insisted that I be cautious around Jasper, or even preferring that I avoided him at all costs. He was new to the vegetarian diet, had the worst control, the most slips, the most dangerous of them all. And Jasper had done nothing to correct these notions, to my understanding. We were hardly ever in the same room, we never spoke outside that time in Phoenix, and while he didn’t hold the same disdain for me that Rosalie had, I could tell that it took him a while to accept my presence in their lives.

“I never knew. I know that night wasn’t his fault, I was never mad at him. I certainly never blamed him for anything that happened after, he has to know that,” I insist. I thought it was obvious. I was the clumsy little human who got a paper cut in front of a bunch of vampires. And, besides, Edward was the one who threw me into a wall, where I fell onto a glass table. If anything, he did the real damage, not Jasper.

“Nope. Jasper couldn’t deal with it at all. He took philosophy classes, forced himself to be around human blood and resist, even got CPR certified. It really ate at him. He became a regular Carlisle. Just a few months after we left, he divorced Alice.”

“I’m sorry, he what?!” I had no idea. While they weren’t standing as close to each other as Carlisle and Esme or Rosalie and Emmett, I’d never really seen them being particularly affectionate, so I didn’t think anything was amiss. I did know that he loved her very much, that was obvious. It never occurred to me that they’d ever split up, I didn’t think that could happen in vampire relationships.

“Alice was finding out more about herself, her life before vampirism, but she was still so focused on the present and the future. Jasper couldn’t let go of what happened, he couldn’t let go of the past. He couldn’t take her being all over the country, blaming him for us leaving but never addressing the issue. One night on one of her rare visits, he’d delivered the papers and took off on a hunting trip. When he’s gotten back, she was gone and the papers were all filled in,” Emmett told me, answering my unspoken question.

I couldn’t help but feel as if this were my fault. They were all together and happy before I’d come along and ruined things with my humanness. Maybe once I became a vampire, everything would right itself. Only difference between this time and the last time I’d had this fantasy was that this time I wouldn’t be with Edward. Everything else would go back to the way it was, and Jasper and Alice would be back together without me ruining it.

There wasn’t much satisfaction in that thought like I hoped there would be.

Bright headlights lit up the path ahead and the purring of an engine filled the air. A black impala pulled up beside Emmett and I, with Jasper inside, fiddling with the controls of the heater. The chilly temperatures combined with the warmth inside the car caused a thick fog of condensation to build up on the windows and windshield.

Emmett went the passenger door and yanked it open, only to have Jasper hold his hand out to stop him.

“Heater’s warmest in the front seat, Bella needs to warm up so you’re sitting in the back,” he ordered, leaving no room for argument.

“Oh, c’mon, man. I was raised better than that. I was just opening the door for her, is all,” Emmett whined, tugging it open again for me to climb into the seat.

Emmett clambered into the back as I shivered from the rapid shift in temperatures. Jasper frowned and went to once again mess with the heater before a wrapped my hand around his long fingers.

“I’m fine, just adjusting. Body regulation is an unfortunate side affect of mortality,” I joked, this one earning the smallest upward lift of his full lips.

He relaxed back into his seat but didn’t start driving or move his hand away from mine. I didn’t move my hand either, challenging him even though his fingers felt like popsicles. Jasper looked between me and our joined hands rapidly, as if unable to process the contact. Once it dawned on to him that his hand was still in mine, he yanked it away as if on fire and put the car into drive.

Pulling up to my house, I turned to give my goodbyes to Emmett only to see that he wasn’t in the car anymore. My door lurched open and next thing I knew, I was being cradled in Emmett’s strong grip and being transported to the tree under my bedroom window. Even from outside, I could hear Charlie’s loud snores.

Suddenly a hard force launched itself into us.

Emmett growled and put himself between me and our attacker only for us both to realize it was just Jasper. He had a near feral look on his face and was trying to wrench me from Emmett, if his hands burrowing under Emmett’s arms to lock on my arm and hip were anything to go by.

“What the shit, Jazz?! What the hell are you doing?” Emmett exclaimed quietly.

“What are you doing. She’s not a football Emmett, she could get hurt and you’re not careful enough to get her into that room without damaging her or the house,” he hissed, still trying to gently pry me away from Emmett.

“I am always careful with Bella. She’s never gotten hurt with me around,” he boasted. Jasper glared and Emmett realized his mistake but kept his hold on me.

“If you two want to sit and argue about how to get me into my house without actually getting me into my house, I’m more than happy to let you and just walk through the front door. I’m freezing and sleepy, and you two ice sculptures aren’t helping,” I stated, getting annoyed.

Emmett relinquished his grasp on me and stepped aside, holding his hands up in surrender with a sheepish expression on his face. He leaned up against the house and watched the darkness for any threats, already taking to his new guardian role. I hoped it would be enough to keep Edward away. At this point, I was more worried about him than Victoria.

Jasper held onto me though, and hauled me closer in his embrace. He then pulled me up against his body so that our fronts were touching and launched us both onto a branch just below my window. I tried to think about gross and dirty things to keep from thinking about how I could feel every part of his hard body pressed tightly against my soft one. Emmett climbed onto the branch closest to the opening and just as I began to worry about the excess weight breaking the tree, he opened the window for me and Jasper to get through.

Jasper carefully deposited me onto my bed and Emmett collected every blanket in my room to tuck me in with. I could barely breathe but didn’t have to heart to criticize his efforts. After kissing my forehead and wishing me goodnight, he sprang from the window to a tree at the edge of my property to keep watch for the night.

Jasper hang back, standing at the farthest end of my room from me. After Emmett’s departure, he crept up to my side and shifted the blankets more comfortably around me with a soft smile on his face. He leaned down near my face and brushed a few stray hairs from my cheekbones. An errant thought floated in my mind but I squashed it before I could truly ponder it.

“Goodnight, sugar,” Jasper breathed before straightening and making his way to my window.

“Jasper, hold on,” I whispered, alert to my father’s slumber and not wanting to risk him waking up.

Jasper turned around and made a single stride to stand at the edge of my bed.

“I was mad at you, too, when you all left me,” I started. He nodded forlornly and looked down at my covers.

“I mean, we weren’t close, but you were my family, too. I missed all of you, but I was so mad that you were all so cowardly as to not even say goodbye,” I continued, needing him to understand.

Jasper’s face whipped up in surprise, analyzing every twitch in my expression for any insincerity.

“That night wasn’t your fault at all. It was nothing to me. I don’t want you to blame yourself for something out of your control,” I concluded.

“Except it was. Bella, I’ve been with the Cullens for many decades now. At that point, I should’ve had a better grasp on my control, at least enough to not ruin your birthday,” Jasper groaned, running a hand through his hair.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure my birthday party was ruined by Edward throwing me into a glass table,” I remarked, trying to lighten the mood before bitterly adding, “my birthday itself was ruined by having a birthday party at all.” Even after all these months, I couldn’t get rid of the ire I’d felt at Alice and Edward for guilting and forcing me into having a birthday party.

“Not me going after you like a rabid dog. Surprising,” he mumbled flatly.

“Jasper, did it ever occur to you that you maybe didn’t attack me because of your lack of control, but Edward’s. He told me once that you can take in his bloodlust as your own. Doing that for months on end, then having to prevent him along with an entire room full of hungry vampires from killing me is quite a feat. No one can rightfully blame you for cracking after trying to protect everyone else. If anything, you’re the reason I’ve survived this long,” I conclude, resisting the urge to call him closer for a hug I know he’s not ready for. The wolves helped a lot with making me more comfortable with physical contact and affection so it became a habit to have a cuddle buddy.

The look of light that covered his features was near blinding. As if seeing the world anew for the first time. It had never once occurred to him that a lapse in control could be anything other than his fault. I doubt having Edward and Rosalie around, two people who actively hated vampirism, helped Jasper’s self-esteem much. A wide smile graced his mouth as he processed this. It made me happy to see it, he rarely expressed emotion in my presence, ironically.

Jasper sighed aloud happily and gave my foot a light squeeze. Coming closer he leaned into me, closer than ever before.

“Goodnight, sweet Bella. Have good dreams and thank you,” he beamed, his nose brushing mine.

I blinked and he was gone. I stayed up the rest of the night with heated cheeks and confused thoughts.

*******

Going to school after not getting any sleep in a week was a self-inflicted punishment that I kicked myself over the entire day. I know that Charlie would’ve let me stay home to sleep in, but that would mean that he’d also stay home to keep an eye on me and I didn’t want to deal with that.

I didn’t see Emmett or Jasper when I’d woken up or on my way to school.

Edward and Alice, as reportedly the only Cullen siblings that were still in school, were reinstated as students and were back in class. The both of them manipulated their schedules to be with me in most of my classes, much to my chagrin.

In almost every class, I had to deal with Alice’s chattering of already planned weekends that I hadn’t agreed to, or worse, Edward’s self-involved “apologies” and him attempting to get back together with me. It was a migraine to deal with, and I regretted just not dealing with Charlie’s staring.

To make matters worse, me clearly being on the outs with Edward stirred up all kinds of shit with my human friends. Except for Angela, the godsend who I was tempted to kiss on the mouth. She was concerned, of course, but because of me looking like roadkill that had been carbon frozen to study.

Mike was particularly talkative to me today, chatting my ear off with a bunch of things I had no interest in, like wrestling and race car driving. As annoying as this was, it was just as irritating to be on the end of Jessica’s third degree, firing question after question about my absence and the Cullens sudden reappearance in Forks. I suspected it was mostly to keep me from talking to Mike. I had no doubt that all of my words would be twisted and recited to Lauren Mallory and then to the entire school. I didn’t care much, but it was more unwanted attention and all I wanted to do was sleep.

Thankfully, due to me zoning out every few minutes, the school day went by somewhat quickly. As I walked to my truck, alone, I was surprised to see a tall presence leaning against the driver’s side door. Jasper gazed as me with a new sense of warmth, similar to Rosalie’s from last night, and shook his blond hair out from rain that had collected in the strands.

He greeted me with a smile and a nod, taking my backpack and shouldering it himself. His dark navy long-sleeved v-neck stretched out attractively across his broad chest and I realized I’d never seen him in anything other than corduroys and designer pull overs. A pair of heavy duty boots replaced his loafers, I noticed joyfully. For the first time since I had first gotten to Forks, Jasper didn’t look so stiff and uncomfortable. Those classes must have done wonders for him.

“What’s got you in a good mood all the sudden? You looked like you were about to collapse back there,” Jasper noted amusedly.

“I’d suggest spending a day with nosy teenagers after a week of no sleep but seems like you already do,” I jested, putting all my weight onto my truck for support. “New wardrobe?”

“Uh, yeah, needed a change,” he answered awkwardly. I remembered that he didn’t know I knew about his divorce. “So, besides the obvious, how was school?”

“Same old, same old, but worse. After my change, if I ever decide to take up the non-vegetarian diet, Jessica and Mike are at top of my list,” I muttered darkly, not even having the energy to smile mockingly like I would’ve done otherwise.

“Luckily for them, we’ll probably have to leave after your change. It would be interesting to see you both remember this moment and commit to it long enough to act on it,” he laughed. He had a nice voice, deep and rich, the slight accent was uncharacteristically warm from what I knew of vampires.

His face shifted into a pissed off frown. He looked at something behind my head, glaring at whatever intrusion that had interrupted our conversation.

“What is it?” I ask, turning to find out about what he was glaring daggers at.

Edward stood across the lot at his Volvo with Alice at his side. How I ever found him and his sedan attractive is something I will forever be ashamed of.

“It seems like your dear ex isn’t so happy with our little jokes,” he clarified, leaning down to speak into my ear directly.

This seemed to upset Edward even more and he slammed a hand onto the roof of his vehicle and climbed in. Alice looked over at us critically before following his lead and they sped out the parking lot.

“Oh yeah, I had to deal with them tag teaming me all day. I only had one class without them today and that was lunch. Well, they were in the lunch room, but I didn’t sit with then,” I babbled.

“Lunch isn’t technically a period, but I’ll talk to Esme and Carlisle about it. They’re more concerned with your safety and happiness at the moment than Edward’s dramatic ass,” Jasper offered.

“You all really didn’t know, did you?” I inquired, peering up at him through my lashes.

“No. If I had I would’ve been on my knees, groveling for your forgiveness. After kicking Edward’s ass for hurting you like that. No way to treat a lady, especially not you,” he drawled, accent thickening with guilt.

I put a hand on his bicep, forcing him to meet my gaze. “Jasper Hale, I will tell you this only once. It is not your responsibility to make up for Edward’s actions. Only he can do that, not that I’d ever forgive him, even if he managed it. You have a much higher chance of being forgiven,” I say teasingly

“Your forgiveness is currently my sole focus in life besides this whole Victoria business,” he responds sadly. I pursed my lips, trying to alleviate his bad mood, but at the same time, I knew he needed to do what I did. Work through it on his own, with me and others supporting him on the sidelines. It would be hard for Jasper to work through years, decades, of mistrust and over precaution. It wasn’t an overnight process, especially not for a vampire.

Suddenly, his melancholy changed to irritation as he once again peered to a spot behind my head. A quick surveillance revealed all my human friends standing around Tyler’s car in a shocked trance. All their eyes were focused on only Jasper and I. With the exception of Angela, who was really living up to her name, they all had expressions of disproval and judgment. Notably, Jessica and Mike looked upset, though I’m sure it was for opposite reasons.

“Oh good, I can hear tomorrow’s gossip now. ‘Bella Swan, depressed catatonic is now making her way through the Cullen men after their sudden return’. Ugh,” I moaned, turning back to Jasper.

“Don’t worry too much about it. It’s just petty high school jealousy, and at most, it’ll last for a few more weeks. But if it bothers you that much, then tell them something, Bella,” Jasper urges kindly before moving to toss my backpack through the open front window of my car. Not surprisingly, I didn’t see Jasper’s vehicle around anywhere, he must have ran here.

“I forgot to ask, what are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy, you are most definitely the best part of my awful day, but I’m curious,” I asserted.

“Taking you home. I was worried Edward would try something so I showed up to ward him off. I’ll ask next time though, I was just really worried,” he divulged, wiggling his eyebrows goofily.

It pleased me that he was both telling me the truth and letting me decide how I wanted to go about the situation with Edward. It was so different than how Edward himself had treated me in our relationship that it was a relief that Jasper cared about my input. I cringed inwardly thinking about how those standards were scraping the bottom of the barrel and how much they mattered to me because of Edward’s backwards thinking.

“Thank you, l appreciate it. I think I can handle him, but today wasn’t in my favor so I’m grateful you showed up,” I said.

“It’s no problem. Let’s get you home,” he suggested, pulling open my door, letting me into the driver’s seat without comment. Another thing Edward never did. He always had something to say or criticize and he almost never let me drive. It was infuriating and I’m happy I don’t have to deal with it anymore.

The drive over to my house had initially started off awkwardly before fading off into a more companionable silence as I got over the shock of being in such close proximity of the elusive Hale brother. In my head, I just kept comparing him to Jacob, or Emmett. The two were actually quite similar if I didn’t look at the whole “mortal enemies” aspect of their biology. They both knew all the best ways to make me laugh and neither of them could stand silence when it came to hanging out with friends. They were both the closest things I had to brothers. While I’ve never exactly seen Jasper a brother, a fact made even more prominent by me breaking things off with Edward, it was obvious that he would become a more involved fixture in my life.

Jasper himself seemed to be lost in thought, looking very out of place in my truck. Edward was just small enough to not be too uncomfortable with the lack of space in the cab, but both Jasper and Emmett are significantly bigger than Edward is. Jacob complains about it all the time. To my own self admonishment, I was hoping that Jasper would focus more on his bodily discomfort rather than torture himself with my scent.

When we pulled up to my driveway, I noticed that Charlie’s car was absent from the driveway, thankfully. Maybe if I invited Jasper inside, we can get to know each other as people, rather than my boyfriend’s dangerous older brother talking to his little brother’s nuisance human girlfriend. I knew it would be a long road, and I still hadn’t completely forgiven the Cullens for their departure, but learning about what happened on their side of those seven months made me realize something. The Cullens weren’t a single unit. They weren’t angels or gods. They were none of the things I had convinced myself they were as I dealt with my own self-consciousness. They were all each just people. Extraordinary and inhuman, but still people. And I didn’t really know anything about any of them.

Much to my horror, though, as I turned to invite Jasper in, I found him gone. As if he’d never been there at all.