Jeonghan Will Kill Them - Tumblr Posts

Soonie is literally so cute our lil horangi!!!

❍ the 2k event: hoshi + silly

alternative title: the morality of silly string

pairing: hoshi x gn!reader

genre: non-idol au, established relationship, crack, fluff

word count: 1018

warnings: none

event taglist (send ask to be added): @slytherinshua @rubywonu @pepperonijem @amxlia-stars @weird-bookworm @hannyoontify @my-moarmy-heart @suminsfav @minhui896 @haocovr @lockburn-castle @sweet-like-caramel @horanghae8 @graybaeismytae @karionice @hopetiger10 @etherealyoungk

"Are you really sure that Jeonghan will be okay with us spraying his entire house in silly string?"

"Of course not!" Soonyoung chirps, cheerfully. "He's gonna hate us for it."

You blink. "Wait, what? Soonyoung, I agreed because I thought that Jeonghan asked you to do this for him!"

Earlier that day, your boyfriend had woken you up with a grin and a kiss and asked if you wanted to come out and buy tens of cans of silly string with him. 

"It's for Jeonghan's house," Soonyoung had explained. "I'm thinking at least thirty. Maybe even fifty cans, if we wanna fully cover his entire house." 

You'd blinked. "Does Jeonghan want this?"

Soonyoung had grinned, waving his hands. "Of course he does! You know those weird moods that he gets in. He'd love his house covered in silly string."

Now, he laughs at your mildly annoyed face as you help him carry the bags of cans back home. 

"Soonyoung. Babe. Are you telling me you lied to me?"

Soonyoung just laughs harder. "I can't believe you believed me! You normally see right through my lies."

You roll your eyes as your boyfriend continues to cackle maniacally, before eventually nudging him to get him to stop when the passersby start giving the two of you more and more suspicious looks. 

"You're still gonna help though, right?" Soonyoung asks once his laughter dies down. 

"Hmm… I dunno…"

"No! Y/N, please please please help me," he begs, and he tries to clasp his hands together before remembering the plastic bags in his hands, and resorts to giving you the biggest, saddest pleading eyes that he can muster. "Do it for me! Please please please!"

You look at him for a long moment before your face melts into a smile. "Well, maybe I do secretly want to silly string Jeonghan's house, deep down. It'll be the perfect form of payback for when he broke into our house during the night and toilet papered all our furniture for April Fool's this year."

"Oh yeah!" Soonyoung frowned at the memory. "That sucked. It took ages to unwrap the fridge, too. I was starving the entire time."

You nod your head resolutely. "This can be our revenge. Let's go, Soonyoung. Let's do it tonight."

"Aw, yes!"

———————————— 🏠

"Are you sure we should be doing this? What if he gets really mad?"

Soonyoung stares at you in disbelief. "Y/N," he says. "We're at his house already. Are you seriously backing out now?"

It's the middle of the night, and you and Soonyoung are hiding behind a couple of cars parked on the street, peering over the bonnets to look at Jeonghan's house. The windows are all dark, and you're sure that Jeonghan is probably in bed right now, oblivious to the chaos that Soonyoung is hell-bent on bringing to him. 

You, however, are having second thoughts. 

"How are we gonna explain this? He's gonna be so mad. He's gonna get back at us for this, you know. What if he breaks into our apartment again as payback? And, I dunno, turns all our clocks three hours forward?"

"Um." Soonyoung's lips twitch. "That's a pretty tiresome way to get payback. I don't think Jeonghan would do that."

"You never know," you hiss back. "Jeonghan is petty as hell. He could do anything."

Soonyoung nods, agreeing. "True."

You slap his arm. "Plus, this stuff isn't biodegradable! We're damaging our planet!"

"Uh, we bought the environmentally friendly silly string for that exact reason—"

"And how is he ever gonna get this off? Silly string is sticky as hell!"

"Babe, I said that that was kinda the point—"

"And also!" You wring your hands together. "What if he finds out that we did this to his house? He's literally in there right now, he could open his curtains and see us!"

"We'll explain this as early Halloween decorations. Say we accidentally got our calendar mixed up."

"That's not gonna help explain ourselves!" you protest. 

Soonyoung shrugs. "Well, we're not gonna have to explain ourselves if we work fast and get out of here quickly."

His message is clear, for you to hurry up and stop talking, but you ignore it with a frown. 

"This feels wrong. I think this is a bad idea."

"Babe, are you really going to talk about the moral nature of silly stringing your friend's house?" Soonyoung asks, tilting his head. "Because I'm pretty sure it's not moral, but it's not immoral either."

"Yeah, it's just stupid!"

"I'm glad you agree!" Soonyoung grins, and gives you a kiss to the top of your head before jumping up, cans in hand. "I'm gonna go do his porch. You can sit here and worry your pretty little head off, or you can help me, babe. It's up to you."

And with that, he scurries away, and you're torn between being annoyed (endeared) by his behaviour and giggling at his words. 

You settle for glaring at his silhouette instead, lips twitching slightly at the hilarious sight that is Soonyoung darting from one car to another, leaping over the fence and hiding behind bushes, rolling down the pathway before getting to the porch. 

He's so weird. 

God, you love him so much. 

That's how you end up gradually creeping out from the side of the car, opening Jeonghan's front gate and slowly crunching your way down his gravel pathway until you're right next to him.

"Hey. Y/N."

You look at Soonyoung, prepared to tell him that you're gonna dump all the blame on him the second Jeonghan spots you two, but your boyfriend is grinning at you, all bright and adoring as he stops in the middle of silly stringing Jeonghan's porch, and you pause. 

He leans in and kisses you quickly. "I love you."

You roll your eyes. "You're just saying that to get me to help you silly string his house, aren't you?"

"Maybe. Is it working?"

"...Perhaps."

"Ha! I knew it, you can't resist me."

"Okay, nevermind, I'm not helping."

"No, wait! Sorry. I love you. Please help me."

"...You're lucky I love you too."