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Tuesday // Jihoon drabble

PARING: Jihoon x Reader GENRE: Angst IN RESPONSE TO THIS REQUEST: i need jihoon to break my heart bc he doesn't know how to balance his career and a relationship 😭 it would so gut wrenching bc he's being quite cold about it, but when he gets back to his studio the flood gates open 😭😭😭 *UNEDITED - Apologies for the grammar and spelling errors // tweaked the request a bit heh.

You knew dating him wasn't going to be easy – but God, you didn't think it would be this painful.

When you met Jihoon, it was almost as if everything fell into place. From the moment you two had your first conversation, you knew he would be someone that would make a great impact in your life – and you the same with his.

It wasn't long before the friendship had turned into love – a partnership. He had always valued your understanding of his life in the spotlight – his career had always come first and you knew that. Even before you had agreed to be his girlfriend.

But years have come and gone, and there was no signs of things slowing down.

You were human, and it's normal to yearn for a life the rest of your friends had – a married life, a family, life outside of the city.

A boyfriend who would be there to support you through all your milestones.

You had been there for all his, standing at the sidelines as you watched him and his band of brothers accept the recognitions they worked tirelessly for.

But not for yours; because before you, there was them.

His fans.

His company.

His group.

They say that the same reason you fell for someone will ultimately be the reason why the relationship would fall apart. You two used to scoff at that idea. It may have been true for others, but definitely not you two.

At least, not during the first five years of your relationship.

It wasn't long before you realized that the two of you were put in each other's lives not to be together forever, but to be a lesson.

A lesson that love won't ever be enough; because if it was, you wouldn't be standing in the middle of his living room with tears streaming down your face as his remained unwavering. Almost as if his heart isn't breaking just as much as yours.

You two were no longer on the same page. All while you were ready to move on to the next chapter of your life with him, he was ready to wrap his book up – ready to end it.

"I know other idols are able to hide it," Jihoon's voice was cold, eyes dark with not a single glimmer of life behind it. As if he had rehearsed these same lines before. "But I can't, Y/n. I'm not ready to be whatever image you have of us in your head."

"So what? This is it?" Your voice cracked. You no longer cared to wipe your tears – it was far better they blurred your vision than seeing the man you love, end your relationship on a random Tuesday afternoon.

"I'm not changing my stance and I know you aren't, either. I know you want a ring, I know you want kids and– That's just not where I am and I don't think I will be for a long while."

You didn't know what was more painful; the fact that he was right or the fact that, in the back of your head, you wished it wasn't true.

The tears began to fall faster as the realization began to set in.

This was the end.

You knew him better than you knew yourself, he wasn't going to change his mind. Nothing could.

He was everything you have ever known for the past five years and it was all coming to a crashing halt.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time."

・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．

He thought he was handling it well.

Jihoon had kept himself together for four months – all thanks to their jam packed schedule which rarely allowed him any time to be alone with his thoughts, let alone time for sleep.

He prided himself for being able to handle the break up without a single tear being shed; breaking the news to the twelve boys that same day during practice as if it was just any news.

As if it was the most casual conversation.

All while they stood in shock, unable to grasp the sudden end to what seemed to be a picture perfect relationship, he continued their four hour long practice unfazed – brushing off their looks of concern and questions of how he was doing.

But just like the break up, the grief came crashing on him like a semi-truck going at full speed on a random Tuesday.

Jihoon had gone into the studio with Soonyoung with plans to work on their upcoming comeback. He had always looked into his past work for inspiration, playing snippets of the demos he had recorded for previous comebacks to allow the creative juices to flow.

It was going so well, the two of them laughing at how ridiculous the original version of their hit singles sounded.

And then he got to that one song.

The song that was originally meant to be a ballad – the heart-aching song that was meant to be assembled with strings and a piano.

He sat frozen as his voice echoed softly through the speakers. At the time, he had composed the song with no one in mind – simply taking inspiration from his other member's breakups.

Now, he could relate to every single one of the words.

"You okay?" Soonyoung eyed him from the seat next to his.

Jihoon hadn't realized it, but tears began to fall from his eyes – his chest heaving up and down as he tried to contain his emotions. In his head, he thought his composure remained calm; but he was falling apart with each line.

"No." He swallowed, unable to shake his thoughts away. That moment in his living room began to replay in his head – the sight of you in tears, the sound of your broken voice, the pure defeat in your eyes... the moment you walked out without sparing a second glanse.

Soonyoung quickly reached over to the mouse, hitting pause on the music; knowing that it had been the catalyst to the sudden break down of his best friend. "D–do you need time alone? Water?"

Jihoon shook his head. The silence had become much worse than when the music was playing – this time he could hear your voice, the sweet sweet voice he missed so much.

It wasn't until now that he realized how much he missed hearing your laughter, your words of encouragement, your ramblings over the phone – he missed you.

In the past few months, his life had become far too busy that he hadn't realized that there was a gaping hole in his chest in the shape of you. He had been able to fill it with his members, his fans, and his work – but it was all temporary.

A quick patch.

There was no replacing you. No one else's hand fit perfectly in his, no one knew what he was thinking before he could voice it, no one came close to understanding him the way you did – and now it was too late.

You took his cold response to the break up as a sign from whatever was above that this was what was meant to be – blocking his number, his social media accounts, and leaving without a trace. Almost as if you never existed to one another.

You were nothing but a stranger to him and it pained him to know that there was no getting you back.

"I fucked up." He choked out a sob.

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