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Tuesday // Jihoon drabble

PARING: Jihoon x Reader GENRE: Angst IN RESPONSE TO THIS REQUEST: i need jihoon to break my heart bc he doesn't know how to balance his career and a relationship 😭 it would so gut wrenching bc he's being quite cold about it, but when he gets back to his studio the flood gates open 😭😭😭 *UNEDITED - Apologies for the grammar and spelling errors // tweaked the request a bit heh.

You knew dating him wasn't going to be easy – but God, you didn't think it would be this painful.

When you met Jihoon, it was almost as if everything fell into place. From the moment you two had your first conversation, you knew he would be someone that would make a great impact in your life – and you the same with his.

It wasn't long before the friendship had turned into love – a partnership. He had always valued your understanding of his life in the spotlight – his career had always come first and you knew that. Even before you had agreed to be his girlfriend.

But years have come and gone, and there was no signs of things slowing down.

You were human, and it's normal to yearn for a life the rest of your friends had – a married life, a family, life outside of the city.

A boyfriend who would be there to support you through all your milestones.

You had been there for all his, standing at the sidelines as you watched him and his band of brothers accept the recognitions they worked tirelessly for.

But not for yours; because before you, there was them.

His fans.

His company.

His group.

They say that the same reason you fell for someone will ultimately be the reason why the relationship would fall apart. You two used to scoff at that idea. It may have been true for others, but definitely not you two.

At least, not during the first five years of your relationship.

It wasn't long before you realized that the two of you were put in each other's lives not to be together forever, but to be a lesson.

A lesson that love won't ever be enough; because if it was, you wouldn't be standing in the middle of his living room with tears streaming down your face as his remained unwavering. Almost as if his heart isn't breaking just as much as yours.

You two were no longer on the same page. All while you were ready to move on to the next chapter of your life with him, he was ready to wrap his book up – ready to end it.

"I know other idols are able to hide it," Jihoon's voice was cold, eyes dark with not a single glimmer of life behind it. As if he had rehearsed these same lines before. "But I can't, Y/n. I'm not ready to be whatever image you have of us in your head."

"So what? This is it?" Your voice cracked. You no longer cared to wipe your tears – it was far better they blurred your vision than seeing the man you love, end your relationship on a random Tuesday afternoon.

"I'm not changing my stance and I know you aren't, either. I know you want a ring, I know you want kids and– That's just not where I am and I don't think I will be for a long while."

You didn't know what was more painful; the fact that he was right or the fact that, in the back of your head, you wished it wasn't true.

The tears began to fall faster as the realization began to set in.

This was the end.

You knew him better than you knew yourself, he wasn't going to change his mind. Nothing could.

He was everything you have ever known for the past five years and it was all coming to a crashing halt.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time."

・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．・゜゜・．

He thought he was handling it well.

Jihoon had kept himself together for four months – all thanks to their jam packed schedule which rarely allowed him any time to be alone with his thoughts, let alone time for sleep.

He prided himself for being able to handle the break up without a single tear being shed; breaking the news to the twelve boys that same day during practice as if it was just any news.

As if it was the most casual conversation.

All while they stood in shock, unable to grasp the sudden end to what seemed to be a picture perfect relationship, he continued their four hour long practice unfazed – brushing off their looks of concern and questions of how he was doing.

But just like the break up, the grief came crashing on him like a semi-truck going at full speed on a random Tuesday.

Jihoon had gone into the studio with Soonyoung with plans to work on their upcoming comeback. He had always looked into his past work for inspiration, playing snippets of the demos he had recorded for previous comebacks to allow the creative juices to flow.

It was going so well, the two of them laughing at how ridiculous the original version of their hit singles sounded.

And then he got to that one song.

The song that was originally meant to be a ballad – the heart-aching song that was meant to be assembled with strings and a piano.

He sat frozen as his voice echoed softly through the speakers. At the time, he had composed the song with no one in mind – simply taking inspiration from his other member's breakups.

Now, he could relate to every single one of the words.

"You okay?" Soonyoung eyed him from the seat next to his.

Jihoon hadn't realized it, but tears began to fall from his eyes – his chest heaving up and down as he tried to contain his emotions. In his head, he thought his composure remained calm; but he was falling apart with each line.

"No." He swallowed, unable to shake his thoughts away. That moment in his living room began to replay in his head – the sight of you in tears, the sound of your broken voice, the pure defeat in your eyes... the moment you walked out without sparing a second glanse.

Soonyoung quickly reached over to the mouse, hitting pause on the music; knowing that it had been the catalyst to the sudden break down of his best friend. "D–do you need time alone? Water?"

Jihoon shook his head. The silence had become much worse than when the music was playing – this time he could hear your voice, the sweet sweet voice he missed so much.

It wasn't until now that he realized how much he missed hearing your laughter, your words of encouragement, your ramblings over the phone – he missed you.

In the past few months, his life had become far too busy that he hadn't realized that there was a gaping hole in his chest in the shape of you. He had been able to fill it with his members, his fans, and his work – but it was all temporary.

A quick patch.

There was no replacing you. No one else's hand fit perfectly in his, no one knew what he was thinking before he could voice it, no one came close to understanding him the way you did – and now it was too late.

You took his cold response to the break up as a sign from whatever was above that this was what was meant to be – blocking his number, his social media accounts, and leaving without a trace. Almost as if you never existed to one another.

You were nothing but a stranger to him and it pained him to know that there was no getting you back.

"I fucked up." He choked out a sob.

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@thegirlwhoimagined @forcheol @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @f4iryjjosh @akeminy @yonabutnotyuna @tacosandbitch @aaniag @bettybotterboughtabitofbutter @xbaekcult @alwaysalmostthere @ashkuuuu @morkswatermelonnnn @isabellah29 @lottogyu @bubbly-moon @lllucere @bo-fairykim @pluviophile-xxx @daegutowns @niktwazny303 @fragmentof-indifference @leah-rose03 @haolistic @eclliipsed @joshuahongnumbers @gyuguys @yaaaridk @christinewithluv @yoonzinoooo @livelikejinki @watercolureyes @whoa-jo @primoisellerose @wonwoobestboyy @rakshithanotrao @mingcouper @kkrriissttiinn05 @aksweet7

(for some reason it's not allowing me to tag some who wanted to be added to the perm tag list ... cries... pls check ur settings so i can for future posts)

warnings ; crying, mentions of reader having a bad day, soft angst and fluff with woozi and skinship omggggg

"i'm sorry, baby." your words are muffled in the crook of jihoon's neck, lips brushing the soft fabric of the hoodie he wore.

the soft clicking of his keyboard comes to a halt and you feel his shoulder relax under your chin. "why are you apologizing?"

the sniffle that comes from you creates a crack in jihoon's heart as he sits below you, allowing your weight to rest in his lap where he sat. your arms had somehow found their way around his shoulders and he had relaxed back as he worked on his laptop - and he hadn't made any move to unwind them from his body or gently nudge you away even twenty minutes after you'd sat down.

".... baby," jihoon urges again softly, reaching one hand to tuck a few strands of hair behind your ear. "talk to me."

another sniffle breaks the silence and he feels your chest jerk soft against his own as you breathe. "i shouldn't come bothering you like this when you're at work."

his brows furrow. he pulls back just enough to look at you, lifting your head with his hand under your chin and lowering his voice to just above a whisper. "when did i ever say you were bothering me? you had a bad day, baby. you're allowed to have bad days and you're allowed to cry. especially when you're with me; i want to be someone who's able to comfort you and having you like this right now proves i make you feel safe."

you nod slowly, listening to every word that falls from thin lips. your eyes brush over his expression and finding no hint of sarcasm or insincerity, fall weak to his passion. your face tucks back into his neck, cheeks now damp and nose running, but he doesn't seem to mind.

his hand finds home on the back of your head to cradle and keep you close. "i love you, baby." lips pressing a kiss to your forehead, he turns back to continue working, free hand tapping away at his keyboard.

you sniffle one more time, closing your eyes to let your lashes flutter over jihoon's skin. "i love you, too."

and with every passing moment, your anxiety eases until you're truly believing you weren't a bother to him. until you're realizing he is your safe space.

Imagine workaholic gf!reader of equally workaholic bf!woozi where they both take a few days leave to enjoy each other and book a luxurious honeymoon suite hotel room thinking they will have a lot of sex with their days off but instead end up with cuddling and lazy make out sessions because their exhaustion just swooshes over them owo

18+ / mdi

content: workaholic!woozi x workaholic!reader, afab reader, heavy mentions of smut, making out, very suggestive, etc.

wc: 1262

a/n: i can really picture jihoon dating a fellow workaholic lol anyways thank u for requesting<3

masterlist

"fuck, finally," you sighed in relief, letting yourself fall backwards onto the cool bed in the luxury hotel room jihoon had reserved.

after endless weeks of equally endless work, you finally had a week off, which jihoon had strategically coordinated with his own time off.

the two of you were extremely hard workers – to a fault. when jihoon bad first met you, he worried that maybe his addiction to constant work would eventually drive you away, yet somehow it had continued to keep you right by his side. you preferred that he was a workaholic, you had once told him. there had apparently been a few prior relationships in which your heavy workload had led to irreparable issues. jihoon being equally as busy as you allowed you to work without feeling guilt of leaving your partner behind – jihoon felt the exact same way.

despite the unspoken agreement the two of you had in regards to the dynamic of your relationship, it sometimes still got to you when you'd realize how little time you were able to spend with your boyfriend – once more, jihoon felt the exact same way.

your individual lives were already difficult to navigate, but making time for each other was even more complicated. your exhaustion was a whole different issue. working as much as the two of you did, it was understandable that you'd spend the lulls in your schedule resting as much as you could rather than with each other. it was a sad truth, but still remained a truth.

it wasn't as if you spent no time together, though. you'd always either see each other in the mornings (either through call or in person – depending on whether jihoon was in the country at the time or not) or at night, always making sure to love on one another as a reminder of the thriving affection in your relationship. you'd also dedicate one night per week to have a stay-at-home date night. everything was perfectly tailored to your relationship, and the two of you were more than happy with it.

these past few weeks had been the issue. as jihoon had a comeback and you had an important project at work, it was virtually impossible for you to see each other as of late. it got to you in all the worst ways, making you moody, irritable, tired, and even sexually frustrated. not only were you physically exhausted of the constant work, but you had been deprived of your daily dosage of jihoon. you had not slept together in weeks, nor had you even had a meal with each other. cuddling? completely out of the question with the insanely packed schedule you'd been having.

it all went like this for the both of you for a few weeks, up until everything managed to reach a standstill. you had a few days off, and jihoon had the ability to move some things around to match your time off. without so much as one word from you, jihoon had decided it was the perfect time to whisk you away on a private getaway at some luxury hotel of your choice.

jihoon wasnt really one to go out much, unbeknownst to you, but jihoon had been feeling extremely pent up from the last moment he got to have you all to himself. the short glimpses of you he managed to catch throughout the busy weeks were the only thing that had kept him going. the singular thought of the next time he'd he'd get to have you was the only thing occupying his mind. renting out a room for the week was the most obvious of choices to jihoon. he would finally get to explore the sheets with you.

upon arriving to the hotel, jihoon chuckled at how pleased you seemed with the place, immediately letting yourself loose on the bed and sighing in contentment. putting down the suitcases, jihoon joined you soon after, still fully clothed as he laid next to you, staring up at the ceiling.

"are you as tired as i am?", you asked him.

he hummed in affirmation, "yeah. what do you wanna do first?"

the unspoken agreement to utilize the week on sex had filled up the room before you had even arrived, so it was obvious what he was referring to.

"i'll take a quick bath first, okay, baby?", you said as you began to get up, stretching your muscles in the process.

"sure, baby. i'll head down to the gym for a bit to unwind then. i'll see you in about an hour, then?"

with a sweet peck, you bid your boyfriend goodbye, giddy to get yourself relaxed and perfumed so your boyfriend could help you destress under the sheets.

~

the bath had been a huge success in terms of getting you relaxed. after an hour lying in the warmest, bubbliest, comfiest water imaginable to man, you felt like a brand new person. accompanied by a lavender-scented bath bomb, a glass of wine and your favorite netflix show playing in the background, you got out of that bath in the best mood you'd been in in weeks.

the one downside was how incredibly relaxed the bath had gotten you. you were so relaxed, you could've fallen victim to endless slumber in that bathtub. as much as you needed jihoon to fuck you to sleep, you weren't sure how well you'd be able to perform if you tried to return the favor.

luckily for you, that would not be an issue.

upon walking back into the room, now donning some comfortable pajamas, you were met with the sight of a fully-asleep jihoon, cocooned between the sheets as he snored softly. the sight had you swooning with affection for the boy. he was the softest, most relaxing thing you had ever seen.

you couldn't help yourself in making your way to him, somehow maneuvering yourself into his arms and under the sheets, feeling more relaxed than ever.

before you could even close your eyes, the boy shuffled behind you, mumbling against your ear as he cuddled further into you.

"baby?", he mumbled.

"sorry, baby. did i wake you?"

"hmm, no you're fine. i meant to stay awake for you, but the bed's just so damn comfy," he chuckled breathily, "i took a quick shower downstairs to prepare for, you know, but fuck, i'm just so tired," he whined.

you turned around in his arms, facing him, breaths almost intertwined due to the proximity.

"that's okay, hoonie. 'm so sleepy. maybe ... we could leave it for tomorrow? just sleep in and then we can have some fun tomorrow?" you suggested, pressing a soft peck to his lips.

his arms tightened around your waist, not allowing you to pull back all the way, "only if you kiss me some more," he murmured, eyes stuck to your lips.

"i can agree to that," you giggled, pressing a languid kiss to his lips as he stuck his tongue in your mouth, softly intertwining with your own in a wet kiss.

the rest of the evening was spent softly making out under the warm sheets, legs tangled up together and fully relaxed in each other's arms. sex was the last thing on your mind as you kissed each other every so often, mostly focused on holding onto one another and finding your slumber together. however, this exhaustion did not stop you from waking up the following day, claiming your highs from one another time after time throughout the day, ready to recharge at night and continue the pattern day after day.

cake crumbles

pairing: non-idol!woozi x fem!reader

genre: fluff. established relationship au. some slight comfort.

warnings: anxious jihoon who just wants everything to go well. proposal mentions. food.

word count: 1.3k~

daisy's notes: he :( <3

“Okay. We can fix this. It’s not too late.” 

The only things holding Jihoon together right now was both Soonyoung and Vernon’s presence right now. But he hadn’t stopped staring at where your birthday cake had been dropped onto the floor, smashed into a mess of blue and white icing. Even now, he couldn’t bring himself to clean up the mess in Soonyoung’s apartment. Soonyoung was on his knees now, tossing it into a bag to be disposed of properly once it was all done. It had all happened too quickly. One minute he’d been moving it to a different space on the counter, and the next he’d been lying on the floor, body aching from his slip, and the cake was destroyed. The little party he’d planned was hours away, and he’d ordered this cake specifically for you…

“I think grocery stores do plain buttercream cakes,” Vernon said, fingers covered in blue as he dropped another chunk of cake into the trash. “It’s not as special, but we can get them to write her name on it.”

“She likes those cakes,” Soonyoung nodded. “That’s what we did for my birthday last year.” 

Right, but those weren’t made for you. Jihoon had gone out of his way to slowly figure out what you’d love the most. He sighed, and moved to get paper towels to wet and clean up the remaining icing. “I don’t know. I wanted to get her something special…”

Vernon looked up. “It’s just her birthday. I know she’s special, but—”

Immediately, Soonyoung started to smack his arm. He shook his head, and Vernon slowly connected the dots.

“Oh.” Then his eyes widened. “Oh! Dude—Today?”

Jihoon quietly nodded, then stopped. “I mean—Not technically?” He sighed, leaning back. “I was going to ask her when we went home. It’ll be after midnight, so it’d be tomorrow, and—”

Vernon nodded. “Alright. Look,” he pushed himself off the floor. “I know some people. Maybe one of ‘em could help do us a favor.” 

Something inside of him seemed to crumple like tissue paper at how easily Vernon seemed to take charge right now.  That should be what he was doing. You were his girlfriend, his love, and yet he couldn’t seem to drag himself out of the spiralling thoughts that he’d fucked this all up. He knew what you would say now, though: that it was fine. That you didn’t need a birthday cake to be happy. But today needed to be perfect for you. You treated him with so much kindness, always so gentle but clear with how much you loved him. Jihoon wasn’t always the loudest with how much he loved the people in his life, but he hoped that his love was clear, too. This was supposed to be part of his big gesture, the thing that screamed to the skyline that he loved you wholeheartedly. The other part was the box still tucked away in his pants pocket, even now. He carried it with him most days, just in case he ever felt the inclination to forego his plans…

Maybe he should have. Then he wouldn’t be so stressed right now making sure everything went right. 

Vernon had already stepped away, calling someone to see what they could do on such short notice. Soonyoung, on the other hand, had helped him wipe up the remaining icing. The floor needed to be mopped soon anyway, and then the scene of the crime would be entirely taken care of. By the time it was all taken care of, Vernon already had a name and a place to go—which led to Soonyoung pushing Jihoon toward him, saying he could handle setting up the rest. 

He’d described as basic a cake as he could: vanilla, decorated with buttercream in blue and white, with maybe some flowers on it if the baker could swing it. All it needed to say was ‘Happy birthday’ and your name. The easiest thing that they could make, he would accept as long as it tasted good. With the order placed and a time given to pick it up, Jihoon stepped back out onto the street with Vernon at his heels.

“So…” He’d soon fallen into step beside him. “It’s not just about the cake, is it?”

Jihoon slowly nodded, tucking his hands into his pockets. Anything to look more casual instead of the nervous storm he was inside. “If I don’t make it right… Then I’m going to feel like I failed her.”

“You could literally show up with just a thing of Oreos and she’ll love you.” Vernon looked over. “It’s fine to be nervous, but I don’t think there’s anything you could do that could upset her.” 

“I know, but…”

Vernon bumped into him, just to get his attention back on him. “You two love each other a lot, dude. It’s gonna be alright.” 

Jihoon could only hope that it would be.

Hours passed quicker than Jihoon expected them to. He and Vernon had returned to Soonyoung’s apartment and helped him set up for your little birthday party. Seungcheol had thankfully agreed to drive the cake over, careful as he could be, while Jihoon had to return home to you. He’d fed you this plan to go out for a movie and then dinner, hand hovering over his pocket. The box was right there. Maybe it’d be better for him to leave it somewhere safe here, but he felt better carrying it on him. 

“Jihoony?” You had turned from where you were putting on an earring—one of the ones he bought you last year for Christmas. There’s a playful lift to your voice, smiling at him. “Everything okay?”

He nodded, making his way over to you. “Everything’s perfect,” he said. Yet the pit in his stomach didn’t seem to shrink at all. He had hoped that saying it aloud would do something, and yet…

You fastened the earring into place, and then reached forward to cup his face. “Jihoony.” You let out a long sigh. “I know.”

“You… know?”

“One,” you said, “Cheol accidentally let the party secret slip when I asked him if he wanted to join us for dinner. And two…” You shut your eyes for a moment. “Remember the other week when you came home exhausted from work? You changed, ate dinner, and then went straight to bed…”

Oh no. Oh no. He swore he had tucked the ring box into his bag after he drove home. “So, you…”

With a soft kiss against his lips, you leaned back. Your chapstick tasted like birthday cake, all too fitting for today. “Whenever you ask, I’m going to say yes.” 

Jihoon met your eyes. “Even if it’s tonight?”

“Maybe wait until we’re alone,” you said, as if he hadn’t always planned for that. “But yes,” you giggled. “Tonight included.”

Jihoon reached for your hands, taking them into his own. The words already started to pour out of him before he could even think twice, “I dropped your birthday cake earlier. We got a replacement, but it isn’t the one I ordered for you. I hope that’s okay.” 

Instead of saying anything else, all you did was step back as you laughed. He’d fallen in love with your laugh long ago, but hearing it now he swore he was falling in love with the sound all over again. When you faced him again, you were smiling harder than before, even more radiant this time.

“As long as I get to enjoy it with you,” you said, “I’m going to be happy.” 

All at once, his anxieties disappeared. He leaned in, lips brushing against yours for just a few seconds. He knew he would kiss you properly once the two of you were home again. But for now, he’d leave you with something fleeting, just to leave both of you wanting more. “Happy birthday,” he said for the second time today, hands resting at your waist. “I love you so much.”

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny @bewoyewo

hairtie with lee jihoon.

warning: reader has long hair.

a/n: my life hasn't been the same since realising he wears one on his wrist and i'm surprised i haven't noticed it sooner. but i have now and my life has been changed.

sweeping the hair out of your face, you mentally cursed yourself for not checking the weather when you knew you'll be having dinner at an outdoor restaurant with jihoon. you would have definitely worn your hair up if you had any idea it was going to be this windy tonight.

you place the glass you were trying to drink from down on the table before you so you can gather your hair aside and over your shoulder, hoping this would keep them from falling over your face but a strong breeze sweeps through yet again, causing your hair to go everywhere.

with an exasperated sigh, you gather your hair up into a ponytail as you rummage through your purse with your free hand to look for a hairtie, no longer having any regard for how long it took for you to style them. you mentally cursed yourself for the second time that night when you remember you'd left it on your dresser instead after the last time you'd used it.

you're about to release your hair from your grip when an arm appears right in front of your face and you look up to see your boyfriend. his face tilted down at you and a hint of a cheeky smile on his plush, rosy lips.

"take it," he moves his arm slightly, signalling for you to take the hairtie on his wrist.

you take it but not without giving him a questioning look first, "why do you have an extra hairtie?"

he sits down opposite you with a nonchalant shrug as he pulls his chair in, "i knew you probably needed one. it's not the first time you forgot to bring one with you."

you loop the hairtie around your ponytail one last time then rest your hands on the table, "thank you. my hair was really starting to annoy me. if you were to come even a few minutes later, i probably would have went and gotten my head shaved."

jihoon lets out a hearty laugh, he always found your dramatics amusing. "thank god there were no traffic and i came right on time then."

he reaches across the table to move a strand of hair you'd missed away from your face.

"why are you so surprised i have an extra hairtie though?" his soft eyes meet yours, "haven't you noticed i've started wearing one on my wrist ever since i started dating you?"

"i can't sleep."

you look away from your book to find a disheveled jihoon standing at the doorway. his eyes seem blood-shot red; his pajamas are crumpled; his hair points out in every direction, defying even the laws of physics and he holds a pillow in his hands.

you never imagined a day you'd see your roommate like this.

even with the initial shock, you keep the book aside and smile and beckon him over. he wordlessly wobbles over and climbs onto your bed. you pat your lap. he hesitates for a moment before gently laying his head on your lap. you immediately start to play with his hair.

"is there anything bothering you?" you ask him. you know he's a busy man — with his classes and music production, he barely even gets time to eat or sleep or stays home. opportunities like these should be seized, you know?

he still doesn't say anything, resorting to shaking his head into a 'no'. you continue to comb through his hair, removing any tangles you find.

"tell me about your day..." he starts out of nowhere. you hum as you remember all the events of the day.

"it was pretty much like usual, I guess. all the classes and stuff- oh! did you know? seungkwan spilled his americano today," you say in between giggles — the incident was way too comical.

"how?"

"it was soonyoung who spilled it. he was imitating seungkwan to a few of their juniors when kwan showed up behind him with his coffee. one elbow lift and baam, everything went flying. you know what's funny, kwan was wearing a white shirt," you start laughing again, tears threatening to escape. soonyoung's and seungkwan's shenanigans have always been your group's free entertainment. everyday was a new episode.

"don't go asking about this to kwan tho, he'll just end me..."

and that's when you notice a cute jihoon curled up into a ball, quiet snores escaping from him. a little string of drool at the corner of his lips. the sight is so endearing, you try to hold yourself back from capturing it.

but you end up taking it anyway. anything for a little blackmail material.

❖ i am all of you // lee jihoon

woozi x gn!reader, 1.7k+ words

tags: requested by @mirxzii, established relationship, producer!woozi, scriptwriter!yn, hurt/comfort

warnings: pet names (babe, darling), food mention

summary: on the days you feel exhausted, lost to the clouds of fear and fatigue, you wonder whether anything in the world will ever be fine again. not to worry, though. because jihoon always finds you, and he brings you home.

Jihoon kind of misses you. 

Okay, that's a lie, because he actually misses you a lot, because even though you're right here and you say hello to him in the morning and you eat your meals together and you say “I love you” to him at night, you're still not… here. 

You get like this, sometimes, where you're all stuck in your head and he can't get you out. Anything he says doesn't seem to register, not really, because you'll hum in response before drifting away again to somewhere he can't reach. 

“Y/N?”

Jihoon knocks on your door, gentle. You emerged from your room to have breakfast, but you've been stuck inside ever since, and, well. It's like he said. 

He kind of misses you a lot. 

“Jihoon?”

“Are you okay in there?” he asks. “Just checking up on you, babe. I haven't heard from you in a while.”

“I'm okay,” you say back, and even though you're only on the other side of the door, you sound distant. “I'm just tired, that's all.”

He hums, sceptical. “Are you sure? Can I come in?”

“I don't see why not,” you say, and he opens the door and cautiously peers inside. 

You’re lying in bed, pillows propped up behind your head, quite literally doing nothing other than staring emptily up at the ceiling. When Jihoon enters the room, you look over in response to the sound and wave at him from the bed looking confused but also very, very exhausted, and something in his heart twists sadly.

He walks over to you, leans over, and presses a hand to your forehead. You look up in confusion, going a little cross-eyed as you try to see his hand on your head. 

“What are you doing?”

“Checking for a fever,” Jihoon responds matter-of-factly. He takes his hand away, presses it against his own forehead before feeling yours once again. 

“Hey, hey, I'm fine,” you say, waving his hand away. “I'm not sick.”

“Then why are you in bed?” he says. “It's so sunny today, Y/N. Normally, you'd be the one pestering me to get out of bed so we can go on those walks that you love so much. What's wrong, Y/N? Can you please tell me what's wrong?”

You fall silent, looking away. 

See, he thinks he kind of knows what's wrong. 

Not the exact reason, of course, but he knows that you're getting this tired and withdrawn from him because there's something in your life that's making you overwhelmed. Whether it's a situation that's happened or something you fear will happen in the future, if it scares you enough then you'll end up retreating in this way. 

Jihoon knows it's your way of coping when things get too much, but it frustrates him, because all he wants to do is take care of you but you won't let him in. 

“Please,” he says. Gently, simply. “Can you tell me what's wrong so that I can help?”

So he asks. He asks, and waits so, so patiently, silently begging you to please let him in. 

You slowly shake your head. 

“Nothing's wrong,” you say, and then shrug, like everything's fine. “I just need to take a nap.”

“I had to wake you up at noon for breakfast, today,” Jihoon points out, frowning. “And it's four in the afternoon. Why do you need a nap?”

You just shake your head again. “I just do.”

He opens his mouth, ready to refute, but you abruptly pull the covers over yourself and bury your head into your pillow again. A clear sign you want to end the conversation. 

“Goodbye, Jihoon,” you say, voice muffled by the sheets, and Jihoon sighs. 

“I'll let you know when dinner is ready, okay?” he says, and you make a soft noise in reply. He looks over at you again, before walking out of your room and closing the door. 

───────────── ⛅

It’s only thirty minutes later that he knocks on your door again.

He can’t help it. You two aren’t exactly the clingiest couple in the world: what with Jihoon’s work and your busy life, you can’t really afford to be so codependent. There have been days where you barely speak to each other, both absorbed in projects that take up all your time and leave you unable to indulge in the typical cuddly affection that other couples take part in.

This is what happens, he supposes, when a music producer and scriptwriter decide to date. Not that he minds, because he loves you, and he knows you love him too, and neither of you mind the lack of physical touch because often, the knowledge of that love is enough.

Just because you’re not the clingiest doesn’t mean that he likes not spending time with you, though.

Especially when you’re right there.

“Y/N? I’m coming in,” he says, and opens the door before you can answer. You’re lying in exactly the same position that he’d left you in, and you look over as the door opens again with a mildly annoyed expression on your face, as if Jihoon was interrupting your very precious time of doing absolutely nothing.

The mild irritation melts into confusion as you spot the things he’s holding. “Why did you bring your laptop with you?”

“Laptop and chocolate,” Jihoon emphasises, holding up the bag of chocolate coins in his other hand as he pushes the door shut with his elbow. “I’m here to do my work. And give you chocolate. Move over, will you?”

You give him a curious look, but still obediently shuffle over in bed so that he can climb in and sit there beside you, back against the headboard, opening up his laptop and immediately clicking on his emails. He doesn’t look at you, seemingly absorbed in answering whatever is sitting in his inbox, the bag of chocolate plopped onto the covers between you two.

“Jihoon?”

Jihoon hums in response.

“What are you doing?”

He glances at you briefly, and pats your head. “Don’t worry. I’m not here to drag you into doing anything. Just pretend I’m not here, okay?” He goes back to his work, and then adds, “Oh, and eat the chocolate.”

You furrow your brow, mystified by his behaviour. This is… weird. You’ve had episodes like this before, where the foreboding lump in your throat joins forces with the anxiety that sits, ice-cold, in your chest, and you end up with a bone-deep exhaustion that leaves you terrified to do anything at all. Every time, Jihoon seems to understand, leaving you to your own devices to work through the fatigue until you feel better. He might bring you soup, or remind you to brush your teeth, but never anything like this.

The soft click-clacking of his keyboard is quite soothing, you’ll admit, but it’s still not quite enough for you to stop teetering on the edge of this crushing exhaustion and finally sleep.

“Jihoon,” you murmur, looking up at him again. “Jihoon, seriously, what are you doing?”

His fingers stop moving, and he looks over at you once more, before looking at the untouched bag of chocolate coins. Wordlessly, he opens it, unwraps one, and presses it against your lips. 

“I’m feeding you chocolate coins,” he says, and something about the deadpan way he says it makes you smile, allowing him to push the chocolate into your mouth. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

“No, I can see that,” you say around a mouthful of sticky, warm sweetness. Hm. Eating it makes the weight in your chest feel a little lighter, actually. “I just…”

Jihoon raises an eyebrow at you, but there’s no unkindness in his expression. He unwraps another chocolate for you, and you dutifully eat it, letting the overwhelming sweetness coat your teeth as you melt it down in your mouth, making the most of the taste.

“What are you doing here, though?” you ask, as your boyfriend deposits the metal wrappers on the bedside table next to him. “Babe, if you’re here to take care of me… it’s okay. I’m fine.”

He looks at you again, and smiles. “Silly. I’m not here to look after you.”

Wait, what?

“You can do whatever you need to do,” Jihoon continues, as he goes back to his laptop and starts click-clacking away again. “Rest, sleep, try to turn yourself invisible, whatever. You do you, darling. I’m just here because I want to spend time with you.”

“Jihoon,” you breathe out, touched. You are certain that there are stars in your eyes. “Jihoon, I love you.”

He chuckles, and finishes sending off the email. He jostles you around in bed for a moment, pulling you close until you’re resting against him, and though the position is uncomfortable, you don’t protest.

“I love you too,” he says, patting your head affectionately. “Now, don’t worry about what I’m doing, alright? Just let me spend time with you.”

Jihoon may pretend otherwise, but he really is soft. He gives and he gives and he gives, always, and that’s what he’s doing right now. He’s giving you all of him, under the pretence that he’s doing this for himself but you know him, know him like the other half of your heart, and your chest squeezes at how gentle he is with you, especially now. When you’re at your most vulnerable.

And instead of getting frustrated at your distance, at how far away you were floating from him, he brings your back down to Earth, pretending it’s all for him but you know, you know that he’s bringing you back to safety for you.

Pressed up against him, leaning into his side, you finally let yourself cry, the hot, stinging tears tracing paths down your cheeks. Jihoon doesn’t say anything, and instead pulls you closer, fingers threading through your hair as you cry quietly against him until you tire yourself out fully and there are no tears left for you to cry anymore. 

It’s kind of cathartic—freeing, the way you let yourself succumb to the exhaustion, comforted by the knowledge that Jihoon is there beside you as your tears die down, and you lie there beside him, taking deep, shaky breaths, heartbeat finally slowing down.

And at last, you close your eyes and sleep.

fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt @sakufilms @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @raevyng @isabellah29 @hrts4hanniehae @mcu-incorrect @dokyeomkyeom @suraandsugar @melodicrabbit

Ever since you stopped using his Spotify account in the mornings, you find other ways to mess with your boyfriend.

A short continuation of this fic, but can be read as a standalone.

content: fluff, established relationship, idol!Jihoon, banter, reader and jihoon just have a permanent jam session going on, they’re in love i swear

wc: 857

note: ahhh they’re back!! thank you to everyone who read the first part and gave it love😊 this has been rotting my brain for a while and i originally was playing with this concept for the original but couldn’t pull it together but we’re here now! shoutout to @highvern because it was partly inspired by her fic “Between the Titles” which is such a great read that i highly recommend along with literally everything else she writes!! all the songs featured here are real and from an era of kpop I hold near and dear to my heart so if you recognize any of them, you’re a real one 🥰

Jihoon is not a morning person, never has been. As he sits in the dressing room of the filming studio, he can feel his eyelids getting increasingly heavy. Some of his members are actively sleeping, in fact, and Jihoon knows he’ll be joining them soon if Wonwoo takes any longer in that makeup chair.

Blasting in his ears is his usual Bruno Mars playlist, a sad attempt to try to recover his energy before he knocks out next to Mingyu sleeping on a mat on the floor, but to no avail because his mind slowly slips away until a piercing airhorn noise jolts him awake.

SEVENTEEN TEEN TEEN NEOWANA SAI E

Uhh. This was definitely not his Daily Bruno Mars Mix.

He immediately searches his screen to find out what happened when he finds his answer in the form of a text from you.

[8:18 am] good morning sleepyhead :)

[8:18 am] hope I didnt scare you too bad :)

He scrunches his face up in disbelief, half amused that you managed to catch him off guard with possibly the most annoying wake up song on Seventeen’s discography, and half annoyed at the realization that he must’ve forgotten to cancel your Spotify Jam session from yesterday.

He decides to leave your text on read. After all, he has plenty of time to be petty today. Furiously searching through his library, he queues up a song and before Mingyu can finish singing the first chorus, he smashes the next track button in smug anticipation.

Now Playing: Fxxk U • Gain, Bumkey

And he doesn’t have to wait long before he gets your reply.

[8:20 am] oh i see how it is

Now Playing: This is War • MBLAQ

If Jihoon wasn’t awake before, he definitely is now. Even as he gets called in to do his makeup next, he thinks carefully about his next move.

Now Playing: LOSER • BIGBANG

…

Now Playing: WHO, YOU? • G-DRAGON

An audible scoffs escapes from his lips as he involuntarily tilts his head back in amusement, much to the dismay of his makeup artist who had just started on his foundation. He mutters a shy sorry before resuming his search for a reply. Maybe he needs to take a different approach to this if he hopes to continue having Jam sessions with you in the future.

Now Playing: Whatcha Doin’ Today • 4Minute

As Jihoon eventually discovers, his hopes to change the topic of conversation were in vain as two songs were suddenly queued one after another.

Now Playing: Why Don’t You Know • CHUNG HA, Nucksal

Next in Queue: Mind Your Own Business • Ailee

Jihoon thinks he’s met his match, coming to the realization that he could never out sass the love of his life. But he wasn’t willing to back down so easily either.

Now Playing: I’m so sick • Apink

Next in Queue: Because of you • After School

Your next move nearly sends him to tears.

Now Playing: Excuse Me • AOA

Next in Queue: You Don’t Love Me • Spica

Next in Queue: I ain’t going home tonight • Navi, Geeks

Next in Queue: I Don’t Need a Man • miss A

As he chuckles to himself for what seems like the hundredth time this morning, this newfound form of entertainment suddenly becomes incredibly precious. Although you see each other nearly every day, Jihoon realizes just how much he misses you, talking to you about everything and nothing at all, bantering like you’ve known each other for your entire lives.

Now Playing: Am I too easy? • U-KISS

...

Now Playing: Mystery • Beast

Even though he couldn’t be with you physically, he knew you were enjoying yourself just as much as him on the other side. He could almost picture your smile of satisfaction as you found your next song, knowing that he would appreciate your humor. And appreciate he did, happily tapping away at his screen until his makeup artist puts on his finishing touches and tells him to call the next member.

Now Playing: Gotta Go • CHUNG HA

Next in Queue: I’m Busy • 2NE1

Next in Queue: Plz Don’t Be Sad • HIGHLIGHT

…

Now Playing: Okay Dokey • MINO, ZICO

Little does he know that his members are in the corner snickering at the sight, knowing that only one thing could have their producer smiling like an idiot at his phone the whole morning.

Soon enough, Jihoon and his members get swept up into their schedule involving the filming of various contents for their Youtube Channel, a task that usually takes the entire day if a game is involved. Thankfully, the game allowed for members to go home early, a rare treat considering how competitive his members can get when it comes to shooting content.

After his usual rounds of “good work everyone” to the company staff and his members, he gets ready to see the person who been on his mind (and in his ears) since the morning. Taking out his phone, he queues one last song while exiting the building.

Now Playing: Run to you • SEVENTEEN

Producer!Woozi x Celebrity!Reader

Synopsis: You and Woozi have admired each other's work for a long time. Now, he has the opportunity to produce an album with you. Working on an album for a worldwide artist like you brings him immense joy... and turn-ons.

WC: 4.8k

Warnings: Smut, studio sex (Universe Factory), oral (f.receiving), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, fingering, clit stimulation, g'spot stimulation, aftercare, reader fangirling over Woozi shirtless in Ruby's M/V mentioned.

Your name is splashed across big screens from Times Square to the Grammy Awards. Music didn't just enter your life; it crashed in, loud and powerful, sweeping you off your feet. It became your everything. 

You went from singing in front of millions of people to strumming your guitar alone in a poorly illuminated room, lost in your own world. Music was your passion, your escape, and your purpose all rolled into one.

With that passion came endless opportunities. You were constantly on the move, traveling from one country to another, meeting people you once only dreamed of being in the same room with. You found yourself breathing the same air as your idols, sharing stages with legends. 

Friendships blossomed, some fast and fleeting, others deep and lasting. The world knew your name. Your songs played in every state, on every continent, bridging gaps between different cultures and bringing people together.

Those cultures left a mark on you too. 

You soaked in the richness of each place, each new experience shaping your music and your perspective. You remembered your early days, the hunger for inspiration, the late-night searches for new artists. 

One night, you stumbled upon a webcam live stream with a bunch of boys in a neon green melona room. You laughed and loved watching them, their energy infectious even through a screen. You became a fan, following their journey as you built your own.

But here's the thing about being a superstar: time is never on your side. Your schedule was always packed, and despite being in contact with some of the Seventeen members through DMs and mentioning your admiration for them in interviews, meeting them in person was a challenge. You were in Seoul for a tour once, and they appeared on your show, but there was never enough time to truly connect.

Now, after years of hectic schedules and fleeting encounters, you finally had a moment to breathe. You were working on a new album, and for the first time in a long time, you had the opportunity to switch things up. Your usual producers were fantastic, but this time, something different was calling you. An opportunity was waiting in South Korea, and it had your heart racing with excitement.

You, your manager, and the company representing the group had been in talks for months, working out the details. The goal was clear: to collaborate with Woozi, the musical genius from Seventeen, on your new album. 

When your team informed Woozi that you had just arrived at HYBE, his palms began to sweat. He never imagined he’d get to work with someone of your caliber. The fact that you specifically wanted to work with him made it all the more surreal.

As you walked through the HYBE building, your assistant and one of the staff members gave you a tour. You were almost giddy with excitement. The walls were lined with photos and awards, the air buzzing with creativity. When you finally approached the recreation area and spotted Woozi, his cheeks turned a shade of red. He was nervous, but seeing you smile so brightly at the sight of him sent a sense of relief through his system. 

You were genuinely happy to see him.

As you step into the recreation area and see Woozi standing there, your cheeks flush a deep red. You can’t contain your excitement. "Woozi, I'm so happy to see you," you say, extending a hand, unsure if a hug would be appropriate.

He senses your shyness, and, in a moment of genuine openness, he breaks through his own reserve and gives you an awkward hug. It's brief and a bit clumsy, but it’s sincere. As you pull away, you swear this is the happiest moment of your life.

"I’ve admired your work for so long," you say, your eyes sparkling with genuine admiration. "Your music is incredible."

Woozi shakes his hands in front of him, a shy smile spreading across his face. His long hair swings slightly as he responds, "Oh, no, really, it’s nothing compared to what you’ve done. I'm honestly just honored to be here with you."

You laugh softly, feeling a bit more at ease. "Are you kidding? I still remember hearing your solo for the first time and just being blown away."

Woozi's cheeks tint pink as he looks down, scratching the back of his head. "Thank you, that means a lot coming from you. I remember when we all watched your first big performance. We were in our green room, and we were all just in awe."

You grin, recalling that exact moment you first saw them. "I remember that! I was so inspired by you guys. It’s amazing how things come full circle, isn’t it?"

He nods, his eyes meeting yours with shyness "It really is. I never thought I’d get the chance to work with someone I looked up to so much." Woozi chuckles softly, breaking the silence. "By the way, I saw your post on Twitter about wanting to visit the Universe Factory—my studio."

Your eyes widen in surprise, and you cover your face with your hands. "Oh my God, you guys see my tweets? Oh nooo!"

He laughs, a sound that's both comforting and infectious. "Yeah, they're hard to miss," he admits. "And I may have received a few screenshots of your reaction from 'Ruby'." 

You gasp, mortified as memories of your tweets flood back. You remember typing frantically about needing a defibrillator when Woozi appeared shirtless in the music video. "Oh no, those tweets. I can't believe you saw those."

He’s grinning. "It's okay, really. It was kind of sweet to be honest. We all had a good laugh about it."

Peeking through your fingers, you sigh. "Well, now that my embarrassment is out in the open, I guess it’s only up from here, right?"

Woozi grins, a twinkle in his eye. "Absolutely. Besides, it’s nice to know we have mutual fans of each other’s work. It makes this collaboration even more special."

You nod, recalling how your fanbase and Seventeen’s had always gotten along so well. “Our fans really hit it off, didn’t they? It’s like they’ve been rooting for this collaboration all along.”

Woozi smiles and gestures for you to follow him. “Come on, let me show you the Universe Factory.”

Walking into his studio, you’re immediately struck by how incredible it looks. Purple lights cast a calming glow over the space, and the view from the windows is breathtaking. Everything, from the colors to the high-tech equipment, is perfectly arranged. You can tell he put a lot of effort into making this place special.

“Wow, Woozi, this is amazing,” you say, your eyes wide with admiration. “I always saw photos of your studio, but in person, it’s even better.”

“Thanks, but it’s just a studio.” Woozi’s shy smile returns, but there’s a sparkle in his eyes. “I wanted it to be just right for when you got here. I spent the whole week cleaning and moving things around. Even used some scented sprays.”

You laugh, feeling a snugness in your chest. “You didn’t have to go through all that trouble for me, but I appreciate it.”

He shrugs, his smile widening. “I wanted everything to be perfect.”

Woozi shows you some of the instrumentals he’s been working on, and they’re incredible. The beats blend seamlessly with the lyrics you sent him, and you can already hear the potential for something amazing. He’s practically buzzing with enthusiasm to hear how your voice will mesh with his music.

“Let’s get you in the recording room,” Woozi says, leading you to the booth.

You put on the headphones and glance through the glass at Woozi in the control room. As you start warming up your voice, he watches with a small smile. You can see him scoffing lightly, clearly amused by your funny warm-up techniques.

He presses the intercom button. “I’m definitely going to use that later.”

You sulk playfully, giving him a pout. “Come on, don’t make fun of me.”

He laughs, the sound filling the control room. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just cute the way you warm up.”

Rolling your eyes but smiling, you turn your focus to the paper in front of you. Woozi cues up the beat, and you start with a rough draft, feeling your way through the melody. Even in this initial take, Woozi can’t help but feel impressed. Your voice is powerful, yet it fits perfectly with the track.

You glance up occasionally, catching Woozi’s eyes. He gives you a thumbs-up, his appreciation evident even through the glass. As you continue, you find yourself getting lost in the music, and Woozi’s focus never wavers. When you finish, you look up to see him grinning widely.

“That was just the warm-up?” he says, pressing the button again. “I’m really excited to hear the final version.”

You laugh, feeling a rush of confidence. “Yeah, just the warm-up. Wait till you hear the real thing.”

Woozi nods, eyes gleaming with joy. “I can’t wait. Let’s do this.”

You start to sing for real now, fully immersed in the music. The lyrics flow smoothly, and your voice dances effortlessly over the instrumentals. When it comes to a tricky melisma, you frown slightly, pausing to ask Woozi through the intercom;

"Which tone should I use for this part?"

Woozi, equally focused, listens intently as you demonstrate two different versions. Both sound amazing to him, and he takes a moment to think. He taps his chin thoughtfully before pressing the button. "Try the second one, but start a half-step higher and then slide down smoothly."

You nod, absorbing his suggestion. You take a deep breath and try it his way. The moment you hit that melisma, sliding down effortlessly, the note hangs in the air. Woozi’s eyes light up, and he gives you an enthusiastic thumbs-up from the control room.

As you're in the middle of recording, Soonyoung suddenly appears in the studio, his presence bringing an unexpected burst of energy. You catch sight of him through the glass and wave enthusiastically, a big smile spreading across your face. Soonyoung returns the gesture, his excitement palpable even from a distance. He settles on the couch behind Woozi, watching the two of you work with keen interest.

Woozi presses the intercom button and gives you a nod. "Try going a bit higher for the adlibs."

You nod and sing the section, hitting the high notes while looking at Woozi for confirmation. He listens intently, his gaze dark in focus. “You did so good. That was perfect.”

You can hear Soonyoung’s voice from the back. “He never praises us like that.”

Woozi turns in his chair, giving Soonyoung a deadly glare. 

Soonyoung, unphased, grins and stretches as he stands up. “Alright, alright. I know when I’m not wanted,” he says dramatically, walking toward the door. Just as he’s about to leave, he pauses and turns back. “But after you’re done recording, we’re taking you to dinner Y/N. No excuses.”

You give him thumbs up. Feeling the warmth of their camaraderie. Woozi shakes his head but smiles, turning back to you. 

“Ignore him. Let’s finish this up. You’re doing great.”

After skipping through some tracks, you find yourself sitting in Woozi's incredibly comfortable chair, fiddling with his equipment. The buttons, dials, and sliders are all so intriguing, and you can’t help but feel like a kid in a candy store, discovering new settings and features.

Woozi watches you from a few feet away, arms crossed, a smile playing on his lipsㄧHe knows you’re no stranger to studios and equalizers, but he loves seeing the joy in your eyes as you explore his setup like it’s the coolest thing in the worldㄧHe wonders if your producers ever let you have this much hands-on control.

“Hey, Woozi, how do you tweak the master mix settings here?” you ask, looking up from the console.

He steps forward, moving behind you. His arms come to rest on either side of the chair, effectively caging you in as he leans over to type on the keyboard. 

“You just need to go into this menu,” he says, his voice low and calm. He types swiftly, his fingers dancing over the keys. “Then, adjust the settings here. See?”

You nod, trying to focus on his explanation, but the closeness is overwhelming. You can feel the warmth of his body, his head so close to yours. 

It’s hard to concentrate when you’re not even breathing.

His voice is soft and steady, his breath warm on your skin. You watch his hands move expertly, typing commands and making adjustments with practiced ease. Your heart is pounding so loudly, you’re sure he can hear it.

“And here, you can add some reverb” he continues, “See how that changes the sound?”

No, not when he’s this near.

You nod, feeling a bit dazed. He tells you to try it yourself, and you reach for the adjustment, your hand hovering uncertainly over the controls. Woozi lets go of the mouse and places his hand over yours, guiding it to lower and raise the equalizer. His skin is soft and warm against yours, and the contact almost makes you melt on his chair.

“Like this,” he murmurs, gently moving your hand with his. “Just a little adjustment here and there.”

You can hardly concentrate on the settings, your mind fixated on the sensation of his hand over yours. 

You turn your face slightly toward his, and he looks at you, the proximity between you almost intolerable.

Your eyes lock, and for a moment, the world outside the studio fades away. His gaze is intense, filled with something that makes your breath catch in your throat. Woozi’s hand squeezes yours lightly.

You can feel your pulse quicken. His eyes flicker to your lips for a brief second before meeting your gaze again. The moment stretches, neither of you moves, both caught in the electric current that seems to have taken over the room.

Finally, Woozi clears his throat, breaking the spell but not the connection. "There," he says softly, his voice barely more than a whisper. "You’ve got it."

As you try to focus on adjusting the settings, Woozi leaves your hand on the side of yours, allowing you to make the changes yourself. You manage to make the adjustments, and as the sound fills the room, Woozi's voice breaks through the silence. "That's it. You're doing great." he praises.

You swear if he praises you again like that, you’re going to fucking wet his chair. You don’t even notice that you’re biting your bottom lip, too lost in the horniness.

Woozi’s words echo in your mind as you try to focus on the task at hand, but it's hard to concentrate with the way his body looks in the black shirt he's wearing. The fabric clings to him in all the right places, emphasizing his toned physique.

Every movement he makes with his hands, seems deliberate and calculated, and you can’t tear your eyes away.

You force yourself to push the distracting thoughts aside, but it's a losing battle.

Your gaze remains fixated on his hands as he places them on the border of the desk, supporting his body. His shoulders brush against the back of your head, and you can feel his presence looming over you. It’s as if he knows exactly what’s passing through your mind.

He brushes a hand over your shoulder, the sensation lingering even after he presses it between his hands in a gentle massage. You feel his lips tentatively brush against the corner of yours.

Caught off guard, you melt into his touch, your fingers intertwining with his as you lean into the kiss. His lips are soft against yours, a perfect match to the warmth of his touch. But when he catches you melting against his hand, he doesn't pull away. Instead, he turns the chair to face him, his hand sliding behind your neck to pull you closer.

His kiss deepens, and you respond eagerly, your hands sliding to each side of his face before tangling in his hair at the back of his neck. The kiss is desperate, as if you’ve both been holding back.

But when you finally break apart, gasping for breath, you realize that you can’t resist any longer. You get up from the chair, his hands desperately grab your waist, pulling your bodies together 

The way he holds your waist makes your tank top bunch up between his fingers, his palms feeling your belly's bare skin. You whimper against his lips, "Hmm, Woozi..."

He pulls back slightly, "Jihoon," he corrects gently, "Call me Jihoon."

Your stomach flutters at the intimacy of calling him by his real name. "Jihoon," you repeat softly, savoring the sound.

He smiles, a soft, almost shy smile that makes your heart skip a beat. Then he leans in again, kissing your cheek, your jaw, and your neck. Each touch of his lips sends you on cloud nine, making you arch against his chest, your hands gripping his bicep for support.

"Jihoon," you murmur again, the name feeling more natural on your lips each time.

His hands move up your sides, sliding under your tank top, his fingers warm against your skin. He pulls the fabric up, and you lift your arms, allowing him to remove it completely. The cool air of the studio contrasts with the heat of his touch, making your nipples harden.

He takes a moment to admire you, his eyes roaming over your body "You're beautiful," he whispers.

You blush, feeling a little shy under his gaze. "You too," you reply, reaching up to touch his face, your fingers tracing the lines of his jaw.

He smiles and pulls you closer, his lips finding yours once more. This kiss is deeper, more urgent, as if he's trying to pour all his feelings into it. You respond with equal fervor, your hands exploring the planes of his chest, and the muscles of his back.

Jihoon’s hands move to your waist again, his fingers brushing the waistband of your jeans. He pauses, looking at you for permission. You nod, your breath hitching in the process.

He unbuttons your jeans, sliding them down your hips and letting them pool at your feet. You step out of them, standing before him in just your underwear. He takes a moment to admire you again, his eyes dark with desire, a little hidden under his long bangs.

You reach for the hem of his shirt, lifting it up and over his head. He helps you, tossing it aside. Your hands explore his bare chest, feeling the warmth of his milky skin, the steady beat of his heart.

This time, his hands roam more freely, exploring every inch of your body. His touch is gentle, yet possessive, as if he's trying to memorize every curve, every contour. After all, he doesn't know when he'll be able to touch you like that again. That is, if there is a next time.

You respond in kind, your hands moving over his body, savoring the feel of his muscles flexing under your fingertips.

He guides you toward the couch, his lips never leaving yours. You lie down, pulling him with you, your bodies molding together perfectly. He kisses his way down your neck, your chest, his lips leaving a trail of saliva in their wake.

"Jihoon," you moan, your hands tangling in his hair as he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking gently. The sensation numbs your mind, making you arch against him.

Jihoon makes you relax on his couch, but you suddenly become very aware when his fingers slide your panties to the side, moistening his fingers with your lubrication. He opens his eyes to watch you squirm as your pussy sucks his finger inside without effort. His cold finger fits perfectly inside you, and you can feel him teasing to put another one. You clap a hand over your mouth to stifle your moans.

He laughs softly, taking your hand off your mouth. "The studio is soundproof. You can moan as loud as you want."

You mentally thank him because with his fingers now perfectly entering and leaving you, a loud moan escapes your mouth, and the sound of your wet pussy isn't discreet. You're loving the intense gaze he has on you, like you're about to be devoured. He tries to kiss you, but you can only moan as he fingers you.

Jihoon curls his fingers on your g'spot, repeating the motion again and again. You let out a strangled moan, squirming under his touch. "Don't do that, or I'll mess up your sofa," you warn, your voice shaky with pleasure.

He looks at you from under his bangs, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I don't care about the sofa," he murmurs, pressing a hand on your lower belly to intensify the curl of his fingers.

The added pressure makes you scream, "Please, please!"

Jihoon smirks, his fingers moving faster inside you. "Please what? Tell me what you need," he demands, his voice commanding.

"Please, Jihoon, I need more," you gasp, your body arching against his hand.

He leans in closer, his breath hot against your ear. "More of what? My fingers? My mouth?" he asks, his tone teasing.

"Both," you whimper, feeling desperate for more of his touch.

Jihoon chuckles, his lips brushing against your ear. "Greedy, aren't you? But I'll give you what you want," he promises, his fingers curling and pressing against your g'spot with relentless precision.

You cry out, your body trembling. "Jihoon, I'm going to—"

"Do it," he whispers, his calm raspy voice making you bite your bottom lip. "Come for me."

Your hands clutch at the couch as Jihoon's head moves from above you to between your legs. The moment his tongue touches your clit, you can't hold back, and you come almost immediately. 

He stops for a moment, just to admire the sight of you arching your back on his couch, his fingers deep inside you, all wet as you roll your hips on them, moaning in his studio, naked. He never thought it would happen, but he isn't complaining.

You discover he's stronger than you thought when he holds your hips down to keep you in place before he devours your pussy. You roll your eyes at the sensitivity and the sight of his fangs tickling your skin, making you giggle between moans. 

The scene is completely sinful. You prop yourself up on one elbow and hold his hair up to see his face, flushed but with closed eyes, all concentrated on giving you pleasure. You find it incredibly cute, and you can't help but praise him.

"Jihoon, you're doing so good," you murmur, your voice trembling. "You're so focused, it's amazing."

In response, he sucks your clit inside his mouth, making you pull his hair a little. He hisses softly, and you quickly apologize. "Sorry, I didn't mean to—"

He looks up at you, a playful glint in his eyes. "It's okay," he says, his voice slightly rough. "I like it."

You can't help but moan louder as he resumes his attention to your clit. His fingers continue their relentless rhythm inside you, and you feel the pressure building again.

"Jihoon, please," you gasp, your hips bucking against his hold.

You gasp, and Jihoon stops, making your head fall back as you whine, your orgasm interrupted. He kneels on the couch, lowering his sweatpants and underwear to his thighs. You shake your head, saying, "I want you to take it all off."

He smiles, obliged, then comes completely naked over you. You spread your legs for him, wide, and he slides his cock between your folds, eliciting a whine from you. Still supporting yourself on your elbow, you grab his hair, pulling it slightly, earning a moan from him.

As your tongues wrap around each other, his cock slides inside you, and you open your mouth in a silent moan, your back plopping on the couch. He moans at the sensation of your gummy walls wrapping his cock, sucking him in welcomely. He also smiles, finding your reaction endearing.

Jihoon rolls his hips slowly, letting you adjust to the fullness of his cock. The slow stimulation draws moans from your lips, and you gasp, "Not only do you make amazing music, but you fuck so damn good too."

Jihoon lets out a genuine laugh, his breath warm against your skin. He hides his face in the crook of your neck, so shy, and you pull him back, wanting to see his eyes. He glances at you, amusement shining in his gaze.

"You really know how to flatter a guy," he chuckles, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

You laugh with him, the sound mingling with the intimate atmosphere around you. "It's true," you say, your voice lighter. 

Jihoon shakes his head, still smiling, but the moment of levity shifts as he feels your walls tighten around him. His smile fades into a look of intense pleasure, his face contorts, and he starts to moan, the sound vibrating through you.

"Oh, God," he groans, his hips picking up a rhythm that makes your breath hitch. "You feel so good."

The sounds of skin slapping, your moans, and the low hum from the computer rendering the music become the backdrop to your intense session with Jihoon. Your breasts bounce with every thrust, and your hair spreads wildly across the couch. He can feel your wetness around his cock, spreading to his thighs and the couch. You brace yourself with one hand on the couch's arm, your lips plump and sensitive from the kisses and bites.

Jihoon closes his eyes, focusing solely on the sensation of your pussy. If he keeps looking at how much pleasure you're experiencing, he might come too soon. But you can already sense his cock throbbing inside you.

"Open your eyes," you urge him, catching on.

He opens them, sulking a bit, and you give him a devilish smile. You lick your fingers, sliding them down your body to circle your clit, doubling your pleasure and his. His mouth falls open at the sight.

"Fuck, nooo..." he mumbles, watching your every move.

You revel in the sight of his abs flexing, showing that his orgasm is near. Sensing his impending climax, Jihoon pulls out, giving himself a moment to regain control. When he's ready, he slides back in, making you arch your back and curl your toes, triggering your orgasm instead.

You smile at his audacity, and he grins, seeing that his tactic worked. "F-fuck you… I'm cumming, Jihoon," you warn, closing your eyes as the pleasure builds.

He speeds up his hips, making you stop breathing for a second before a deep moan escapes from your chest. You feel yourself clenching and unclenching around him, your body shuddering as you reach your peak. Panting hard, Jihoon pulls out just in time, spilling his cum on your belly as he strokes his cock. His body trembles, and his eyes lock with yours, his bangs falling over his forehead.

Jihoon takes a long look at your spent body, a satisfied smile spreading across his face. "How about a nap before dinner?" he suggests softly.

You close your eyes and nod, feeling the exhaustion settling in. "Right..." he murmurs, getting up from the couch.

You miss the warmth of his body immediately and let out a small whine. He chuckles, "I'm coming back," he assures you as he grabs a box of Kleenex and brings some tissues to clean you up. Gently, he wipes your belly and between your legs, his touch tender.

"I'm glad we finished some songs," he teases, his eyes twinkling. "You don't look like you could continue... at least not today."

You scoff, too tired to come up with a witty response. Jihoon starts dressing you, carefully slipping your top back on, your panties, and leaving your jeans off so you can nap comfortably. Once you're settled, he dresses himself quickly.

From the corner of the studio, he fetches a thin blanket draped over a poltrone. He covers you with it and then lays down beside you, pulling you close.

"You really wore me out," you murmur, a hint of amusement in your voice.

He grins, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Likewise," he says. "But it was worth it."

You let out a contented sigh, feeling more relaxed than you had in a long time. "I can't wait to hear how the songs turn out," you confessed, your voice growing dreamier with each passing moment.

Jihoon hummed in agreement, his fingers resuming their soothing motions on your back. "Me too," he murmured. "But for now, let's just enjoy this."

And so you did. Wrapped in each other's arms, you drifted off into a peaceful sleep, you snuggle into him, the steady rhythm of his breathing lulling you towards sleep. 

hello kitty keychains and annoying co-workers | l.jh

a/n; just thinking about jihoon soft launching his s/o.

jihoon's footsteps echo through the cold building and he's met with bows from everyone walking past him. he acknowledges them, bowing back with a stern visage.

his expensive black bag is strung on his shoulder and he walks with ease, confidence oozing with his presence. to anyone who is not aware of his romanticistic nature, he's the cold, grumpy producer who hasn't touched a woman in years.

entering the elevator, he presses the floor button and leans against the panel. but before the doors could close, someone enters the elevator cab. jihoon sighs inwardly, looking at the person.

soonyoung, one of the choreographers in the company. and jihoon is pretty sure he shits rainbows 'cause how the hell can a person always be this cheerful?

he sighs internally, expecting for a social interaction to be thrown towards his face but soonyoung only bows and stands a few feet away from him.

while jihoon feels grateful, he can't help but be a bit disappointed. the horror appalls him, does he want a man pretending to be a tiger to be his friend?

it isn't until that the elevator dings, when soonyoung speaks. a smirk lines his lips with a glint of mischief in his eyes, “nice keychain.”

the younger stares at him, confused as he steps out with a wink. jihoon leans down to look at his bag, and-ah there it is. a hello kitty keychain hangs by one of the zippers.

right then, a text message pops up from you, asking him if he reached safely. a soft smiles graces his features and pink tints his skin.

he sends a text along with a selfie of him. following it up with a 'thank you for the keychain.'

thoughts of you flood his mind. he clears up his schedule to watch the new episodes of an anime with you and also arranges a dinner date with you because he wants to. and a thought of soonyoung being a sexist pops up but is quickly pushed down by the thought of making it official with you.

his smile widens, and a deeper shade of pink tints his cheeks and ears. he doesn't care that anyone may walk through the elevator, and find the senior producer blushing and smiling like a teenager.

he takes a few pictures (with the help of mingyu) and uploads them on his instagram. a picture of him with the bag and the keychain along with the picture two silhouettes by the han river graces his account.

tags; @seungkwanschicken @aaa-sia @dokyeomkyeom @bangantokchy @jespecially

@asyre @armycarat2612 @bewoyewo @gyuguys @embrace-themagic

@aaniag @nurihihi (send an ask to be added on the taglist!)

the world of fiction

pairing: jihoon x gn!reader genre: fluff, crack, established relationship, drabble warning(s): mentions of death (of fictional characters) word count: 0.7k

summary: jihoon comes home to the sound of you crying, and he’s utterly confused as to why.

Coming home to the sound of you crying was not what Jihoon expected to be greeted with.

But he’s here now, in this very moment, feet rooted to the floor as he faintly hears your muffled sobs from the bedroom.

Jihoon freezes, racking his brain for anything that could have happened in the past twenty-four hours that could have upset you.

Did he do something wrong? Not that he’s aware of. Did you have a bad day at work? You took the day off, citing a self-care day. Are you mad that he wasn’t here to accompany you? You specifically told him not to waste his breaks despite his insistence, reassuring him that you were probably just going to sleep in and finish the manga you were hooked on recently.

Right, Jihoon’s eyes widen, you said you were going to finish the manga.

In all his years of knowing and loving you, Jihoon will never get used to the way you tend to get emotionally attached to whatever you read or watch.

To him, the ending of a story just means that he can move on to another, but to you, the ending of a story is like the end of a world you’ve grown much too fond of. The reality of having to part with the characters and the story always puts you in a depressed state for a few days at the least.

It’s why Jihoon tends to gift you books or recommend you shows that are part of a long series, so you can stay in their world for longer.

Quickly removing his shoes, Jihoon practically bolts to your shared bedroom upon recalling your plan for the day, and sure enough, you’re curled up on your side of the bed, one hand clutching the last volume of the manga Jihoon had recommended a while back and sobbing into your pillow.

You lock eyes with Jihoon’s worried ones as he stands by the bedroom door, and you start sobbing even harder.

“y/n…” Jihoon carefully walks closer towards you, slowly sitting beside you as he reaches for your free hand.

“Ji…” you whine in between sobs, “I finished the manga.”

Jihoon resists the urge to smile at how cute you’re being right now. “I know, baby. How was it?”

“It’s so… sad!” you sniffle, moving to bury your head in Jihoon’s lap as you wrap you arms around his torso. “Too many people died. But they were all reincarnated and happy at the end, so I am, too…”

Jihoon smiles, very evidently endeared by your rambling. He looks down at your tear-stricken face, wiping away your stray tears with his thumbs. “It’s a happy ending, baby, don’t cry.”

“I’m just sad that it’s over, Ji,” you pout, and Jihoon cups your face with both hands. “Thank you for recommending the manga to me.”

Jihoon hums. “It’s not over yet, you know.”

Upon processing the words that left your boyfriend’s mouth, you sit up, eyes widening in anticipation. “There’s more?”

Jihoon chuckles.

While he was picking out what to recommend to you, the deciding factor came down to its length (provided that the story was good, of course). Jihoon knew you would devour books or mangas in record speed, so he came prepared.

And what better than a manga series and an anime series?

“They adapted the manga series into an anime,” Jihoon explains, watching as your eyes light up, “It’s not complete yet, but the last arc is coming soon in the form of three movies.”

You squeal, practically pouncing on your boyfriend as you engulf him in a bear hug. Jihoon falls backwards onto the bed from the impact, laughing.

“It’s not over!” You exclaim, “Where can I watch the anime? Have you watched it yet?”

Jihoon rolls over so the both of you are now lying on your sides, looking into each other’s eyes. He shakes his head.

“I haven’t. I was waiting for you so we could watch it together.”

“I love you.” you declare immediately, and Jihoon blushes furiously before letting out the softest, most endeared laugh.

“I love you too, baby.”

Jihoon may never get used to the way you tend to get emotionally attached to whatever you read or watch, but he sure as hell will do anything to let you enjoy the various worlds you end up in for as long as possible.

a/n: i have been. like. word vomiting in my wips and i feel like everything i write is so bad it is absolutely unpublishable but i just finished demon slayer and i got so sad so i decided to write this. very self-indulgent i love demon slayer the last arc broke me and i’m so excited for the movies. need somebody to match my freak like jihoon does for reader here

taglist (send an ask to be added!): @slytherinshua @viscade @pepperonidk @belladaises @tastymintchocolate @kwantaro-deactivated20240614 @chanceonceli @hrts4hanniehae @leehanascent @nonononranghaee

masterlist

Have you ever sit by yourself and thought about being in a dark room with your boyfriend!Jihoon, the corner in which the bed is placed near the window which is transparent showing the downpour outside, him on the bed and you on his lap, cuddling in the chill weather, your head in his shoulder while he is caressing your back, his little signs and whimpers when you kiss his sweet spots, sucks on them being totally drunk on his smell and touch, him looking down his hand reaching to hold your chin and plant a firm peak on your lips, your one hand automatically grabbing his short hair as the kiss deepens while he is slowly leaning forward make you lay on the bed, the thunder strikes making the rain more fast, while you and him were in your own world of love.....

Had this in my head since monsoon started, I love rain romance🤭💗 what about you?

ohhhhh my god YES. god i feel like hes so fucking clingy and responsive when hes tired, especially if its raining because the atmosphere of the fog outside and the soft thump of it against the window just,,,, ohhh lord.

also i think he whimpers! i think he whimpers and i am willing to fight ppl on this. have u heard his little woozi noises? he definitely whimpers, especially when he’s sensitive and he’s the most sensitive when you’re all up in his shit, kissing and biting at his neck ohhhhh godddd.

i think the space right under his ear is the most sensitive tho. like neck kisses?? great! but if u rlly wanna hear him, kiss right by his ear right next to his jaw and he cannot hold back his little noises.

i love the rain so much and i have a feeling that when he’s not caught in the middle of it, jihoon does as well so here’s 1.2k words of me needing him! this made me feel a little bit insane what have u done to me.

Those soft early ‘mornings’ where both of you wake up too early to get out of bed and do anything, but at an hour that's acceptable enough for you to stay awake, just for a little bit before falling back asleep. The clouds block out what little light is available, so the early early hours of the morning look as though it’s the dead of night, and it technically is. Jihoon had forgotten to close the window last night, and with both of you being as tired as you were, you both opted to just lay down for the night and stay warm by sharing body heat. Neither of you were planning on falling asleep so early, hence the ungodly hour you had woken up at, and neither of you move much in your sleep, so the position you ended up cuddling in is the one you wake up in. 

Soft skin against soft skin, tired whimpers as you both wake up; you first from the eight hours of sleep you managed to accumulate by four in the morning, and Jihoon, from you pushing your head further into his shoulder in your fatigue. He murmurs softly, hands finding your hair first, brushing it out of your face as you look up at him. Jihoon gives you a sleepy little smile, slowly waking up with you, completely basking in the warmth you and the covers give him in the cold bedroom. “Can’t sleep anymore?” He asks, voice a little scratchy with sleep still drifting away from him. You hum in acknowledgement, pushing your face into his neck. 

Jihoon’s hand slides up your (his) shirt, his fingers roaming over the pit of your spine. His touch is barely there, fingers hardly grazing your skin. It makes you shiver softly against him, goosebumps rising on your arms involuntarily. Your hands find their way into his hair, threading through the strands as your nails scratch against his scalp. He preens like a cat, leaning into your touch as his head rolls back slightly. 

You place a careful kiss to his jaw, near his ear and he’s a goner. The spot under his ear is particularly sensitive; even when you just dig your thumb into it slightly as you hold his neck, it has him squirming in his spot. He whimpers softly, and it makes you smile softly before you begin to softly suck at the skin. He throws his head back against the pillow, giving you more access to the soft skin of his neck. Jihoon’s hands finally settle on your back, one over the fabric of the shirt and one under it. 

You place another kiss to his sweet spot, before you slowly move your attack down his neck, lips ghosting over his Adam's apple as you move to kiss and suck at the same sweet spot on the other side of his neck. Jihoon’s tiny whines and whimpers are the only other sounds that fill the room aside from the downpour outside. 

Angling your head slightly to gently bite at his earlobe, you catch a draft of his shampoo. His cologne had long worn off, but the sheets smell like him and his hair smells so fucking good that it starts to drive you insane as he takes over all five of your senses. You suck in a shaky breath, and Jihoon catches your face before you can even make it to the destination of his earlobe. Jihoon’s grip on your face is gentle, hand holding the side of your face with so much care and adoration. You lean into his palm, allowing him to pull your face closer for a soft kiss. He still tastes like the sweet sauce on the chicken you two had for supper, but he always tastes so sweet that it doesn’t really make much of a difference. His lips are plush and soft, as they always are, and all you can think about is him, him, him. 

Jihoon’s hand that was still on your back slips down your warm skin to your waist. He wraps his arm around you, gently shifting his hip against the mattress and curling his legs around yours as he slowly rolls you over onto your back. His lips never leave yours, somehow maintaining the slow and careful pace.

Displays of his strength, no matter how frequently they happen (and let's face it, they happen a lot; your boyfriend is just really strong), always knock the oxygen right out of your lungs. You gripped his hair a little harder and opened your mouth softly in a gasp. Jihoon takes the opportunity to push his velvety tongue inside your mouth. You let him. You let him kiss you stupid in the downpour as you gently tug and pull on his hair because what else can you do? 

Jihoon’s little whines pick up in frequency as you bury yourself in him. He’s everywhere, muscular torso towering over you, making you feel so much smaller than him as he kisses you until the only thing you’re able to think about is Jihoon himself.  

He pulls away softly when you start to pant against his lips, hands still in his hair but holding on him not as tight. His eyes sparkle in the dark room; the glow of the street lights reflecting back at you in the form of stars in his eyes. God, he's so in love with you. “Love, what time is it?” He asks softly, pressing his forehead against yours, noses rubbing against each other. 

“Four, I think.” You whisper. He laughs gently at the volume of your voice, like the two of you weren’t supposed to be up this early and were afraid of getting caught. The arm that’s not holding him up bends, and his large hand slides back under your shirt. 

He shifts again, knees cracking softly as he rests his weight on them. With both hands available for action, he uses the other to pull you to his chest as he sits up temporarily. You already know what to do, engaging your core to keep yourself upright as both of his hands grip the hem of your shirt. “We should head back to sleep soon then, hm? It’s too early.” His voice is still scratchy, face pressed against your neck so the vibrations of his speech ripple through your entire body. 

Your nails scratch his back as he pulls the shirt over your head, laying you back down on the bed. “Yeah, it’s too early.” You agree, holding the side of his face against your neck, fingertips digging into the small bruise you left by his ear. He hisses before it devolved into another gentle whimper. You giggle and do it again, and Jihoon melts against you. Soft moans mix with tiny whines echo around the room. Thunder cracks, making both of you jump softly, giving you both unexpected friction as you move against each other unexpectedly.

Jihoon feels like putty in your hands, giving into the early morning session of feeling each other up, cock hardening against your thigh as you make a mess of him. The rain picks up and you feel drunk on him; his scent, his size, his strength, his little noises, him. He’s everywhere and he’s everything to you. Something about the rain relaxes Jihoon, and it makes him more compliant when you need him like this. He places another kiss to your lips, jaws moving in sync with each other in perfect rhythm. You know Jihoon and he knows you, and that’s what makes this even better.

Safe to say, the both of you got a few more hours of sleep after working yourselves slowly into exhaustion as he brought both of you to completion with slow, deep thrusts and gentle kisses wherever either of your mouths could reach.

Snow white insomnia

Pairing: Woozi x reader

Genre: fluff, established relationship.

(Note: probably the most self-indulgent thing i will ever write cuz I've never seen snow irl (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠))

-----------

The room was dark and empty, the kitchen as well. Jihoon furrowed his brow, a little confused. Where could his beloved person be? He went to the other room and breathed a sigh of relief because he finally found you, sitting on the balcony floor connecting to the living room. The sliding door was closed, so you heard when he opened it to go out where you were.

"It's almost four in the morning," Jihoon said sitting beside you.

"I'm sorry," you said in a sad tone, "I might have insomnia... Again."

"You can always come to my room whenever you want" he smiled understandingly, patting your head.

"Come on, it's your studio," you turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow, "I could never interrupt your work, also..." you looked back at the sky, expectantly.

"Right... You've never seen snow, have you?"

No, you had never seen snow. You had lived your whole life in a city with a very different weather, rarely leaving it, and the closest thing you had known was the few times there were hail hitting your window, and you saw the crystals longing to see beautiful white flakes falling from the sky.

Now you had moved to the other side of the world to be with Jihoon, it was your first year living in Korea, you had been sharing an apartment with him for just a few months and adapting to your new lifestyle, to the bustling metropolis, and the varied weather there.

You were there, gazing at the dark firmament, when you saw the first snowflakes falling from the sky, gently swaying in the faint nighttime breeze. You were waiting for a long time, and it was finally worth it.

"look at them..." you whispered, "it's... Beautiful"

"Yes, it's beautiful..."

But his gaze was on you, the way your eyes were sparkling with excitement and how you smiled was endearing, he couldn't help but look at you like you were the only person on earth. Seeing you happy was comforting.

Jihoon rested his elbow on his knee and his chin on his hand, making a big effort not to fall asleep, he had been working all night on a project and wanted to go to bed asap, but being there, with you in such an important moment was a once-in-a-lifetime moment he couldn't miss. At that moment you turned to look at him, and this made his head snap up.

"Your nose and cheeks are flushed," you said touching his face with the tip of your finger.

"You should see yourself," he leaned towards you to gently kiss one of your eyelids, then stood up, "I'm going to sleep, wanna come?"

"Later," you pouted a little, "I'm not sleepy yet." Jihoon smiled and went inside, you turned your gaze back to the snowy sky, lost in its beauty. A few minutes later, the door opened again, Jihoon had returned with extra blankets.

"It's freezing out here, you must cover up well," he said arranging one of the blankets over your shoulders. You didn't want to tell him anything so he wouldn't worry, but the truth was you were freezing out there, even though you had at least two layers of thick clothing.

"Thanks, Jihoon."

He sat beside you using the extra blanket.

"Would you mind stretching your legs out off the balcony?" You said nothing, just did it, "Thank you."

It took you by surprise when he laid his head on your lap, placing one of his hands on your thigh.

"Are you comfortable?" you asked in a playful tone, slowly sliding your fingers through his dark hair.

"I'm fine... I couldn't ask for more..."

A tribute to jihoon's boobs pecs

The room was bathed in a warm, intimate glow, setting the perfect mood for the evening. Jihoon lay beneath you, his eyes half-lidded with desire, a soft flush spreading across his cheeks. You straddled his hips, your bodies moving together in a slow, sensual rhythm. The heat between you was palpable, each movement sending waves of pleasure coursing through both of you.

As you rode him, you leaned forward, your hands sliding over his chest. Jihoon had always been sensitive there, and tonight, you felt a playful urge to tease him even more. Your fingers traced the contours of his pecs, feeling the firm muscle beneath the soft skin. You let your thumbs brush over his nipples, watching with satisfaction as he gasped, his body tensing beneath you.

"These are almost like boobs," you murmured teasingly, a playful grin on your lips. You knew how much he liked being teased, especially in moments like this when he was most vulnerable. "Such cute, sensitive boobs."

Jihoon let out a soft, breathy laugh, his eyes flashing with a mix of embarrassment and arousal. "Don't say that," he protested weakly, but the way his body responded told you otherwise. His hands gripped your thighs, his fingers digging into your skin as you continued to tease him.

You leaned down, your lips brushing against his ear. "But they are," you whispered, your voice low and sultry. "And I love playing with them." You punctuated your words by pinching his nipples gently, rolling them between your fingers. The sensation made him gasp, his hips bucking up into you, driving himself deeper inside.

Jihoon moaned, his head tipping back against the pillow. His eyes fluttered closed, and you could see the pleasure etched across his face. "You're so mean," he managed to say, but the way his body arched into your touch betrayed his enjoyment.

You chuckled softly, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. "You love it," you teased, your voice filled with affection. You continued to ride him, your pace increasing slightly, each movement eliciting a new moan from him. Your hands stayed on his chest, your fingers playing with his nipples, tweaking and pinching them in a way that made him squirm beneath you.

"You're so sensitive here," you murmured, your voice dripping with delight. "I love how responsive you are." You could feel the way his body tightened, each touch sending shivers through him. The look on his face, a mix of pleasure and vulnerability, was intoxicating.

Jihoon could only respond with a choked moan, his body trembling beneath you. His hands moved to your hips, gripping them tightly as if trying to ground himself in the overwhelming sensations. You continued your teasing, your hands never leaving his chest, reveling in the way his body responded to your touch.

As the aftershocks of your orgasms faded, you collapsed onto his chest, both of you breathing heavily. You could feel his heartbeat pounding against your cheek, a steady rhythm that mirrored your own. Jihoon's arms wrapped around you, pulling you close, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your back.

As you neared your climax, you leaned down again, your lips hovering just above his. "Come for me, Jihoon," you whispered, your voice a soft command. "I want to see you fall apart."

Your words were the final push he needed. With a strangled cry, Jihoon came, his body arching off the bed, his hands gripping your hips so tightly it almost hurt. The sight of him, lost in the throes of pleasure, sent you over the edge as well, your own release washing over you in waves.

"That was... intense," he murmured, his voice still tinged with the afterglow of pleasure. There was a soft, contented smile on his lips, his eyes shining with affection.

You smiled back, pressing a soft kiss to his chest. "You're amazing," you whispered, your voice filled with love. "I love teasing you, but I love how you respond even more."

Jihoon chuckled softly, his arms tightening around you. "I think you enjoy teasing me too much," he teased, but his voice was warm and affectionate. "But I can't complain."

You both lay there for a while, basking in the warmth and comfort of each other's embrace. The teasing, the playful banter, the shared moments of vulnerability—it all deepened the bond you shared, making every moment together feel even more special. And as you drifted off to sleep in his arms, you knew that this playful dynamic was one of the many things that made your relationship so unique and fulfilling.

wow. okay wow.

noah, i know this is supposed to be very hot sexy towards the end but there's fucking tears in my eyes.

the character study is everything. i love love love how you took time explaining the horrors that come with realizing you're queer. the guilt, the shame, and all kinds of feelings that shout at you saying you're doing something wrong.

i love the little backstory with the homophobic girlfriend, first of all. being from a school that has a queer rising student body who have always (secretly, our school, in general, is homophobic as fuck) supported each other makes me forget just how shitty it is sometimes. personally, this was a perfect reminder about the reality of being a queer person in a conservative country.

i have to mention this one sentence that you wrote that had me p a u s I n g. "You were a lot of things, but being like your father wasn’t one of them"

i paused. my jaw dropped. literal tears in my eyes. I'm gagging, I'm crying, I'm on the floor. what the fuck. literally what the fuck.

of course, the smexy parts were incredible as always, you write jihoon so well my god. the way he balanced both the dom and sub undertones so perfectly? ugh. and then y/n. you had me kneeling at "angel" fuck you, really.

AND THE GODDAMN ENDING. THE GODDAMN ENDING WHEN ALL THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF WHAT YOU'VE DONE CATCH UP TO YOU. THE FUCKING FEELING WHEN YOUR HEART DROPS OUT OF YOUR ASS.

god.

i have a lot of intense thoughts about this and I simply cannot put them into words right now. all I can say it, this is so beautiful. it's so gorgeously written and the character study is incredible. I'm so happy you gave into your thoughts and decided to post this because this is beautiful <3

through me || ljh

based off of this anon ask!

pairing: idol!woozi x male soloist!reader

genre: best friends/roommates to ???fwb???

warnings: readers first time giving a blowjob. mutual blowjobs. soft dom jihoon but actually insane sub jihoon. praise kink. talking about sexuality. mentions of watching porn. implied bottom jihoon. mild homophobia. some internalized homophobia. reader has implied daddy issues. a bunch of svt members are queer in this. hardcore aftercare. slight given (anime) spoilers but not rlly. reader has a bad gag reflex. reader gags once. deepthroating. ass eating. rimming.

word count: 8.7k

a/n: yes this is named after a hozier song. i've seen/am seeing him twice in the last year, once last tour once this tour (in two different cities). he is the epitome of gay yearning so... yeah.

Your friendship with Jihoon was far different from all of the friendships you had with other people.  

Maybe it was the nature of your jobs; both of you were producers, you spent the most hours of the day writing songs and fucking around with the equipment in your respective studios to fine tune your work. Both of you were particular, neat, and to some, might appear downright odd in the way you functioned on a day to day basis. All of this being said, ever since you met Jihoon, neither of you had ever formed such a solid friendship with another person quite as quickly.

Seungkwan had quite literally ran into you on his way to Jihoon’s studio one afternoon five years ago. He recognized you from around the building, and after apologising profusely for ten minutes straight, he asked you to join him for drinks later that night with a few of his bandmates as a way to pay you back for your now Americano stained t-shirt. The one day you decide to wear a white shirt, and a coffee addict ruins it. 

“It’s fine, really. I have spare clothes in my studio. It’s really not a big deal.” You had said, laughing carefully at his obvious distress. You agreed to get food with him nonetheless, seeing as your friend circle was quite small since you had debuted as a soloist, and a self producing one at that. 

Jihoon didn’t join you for dinner that night, but he did meet you three weeks later in the hallway. You had greeted Seungkwan as you saw him in the hallway on the same floor he ran into you on. Rather excitedly, he waved back, pulling you down the hall with him. You and Seungkwan had ended up talking for hours at the dinner he invited you to, alongside other members of Seventeen. They had been so warm and welcoming, despite how hard it was for you to meet new people, and it was almost instantaneous how fast you clicked with all of them. 

You had, at this point, met almost all of the members; some briefly in passing, others more in depth, all with Seungkwan's help. The last remaining member was Jihoon, who you knew virtually nothing about other than that he also was a producer, and that Seungkwan said you would get along well. When Seungkwan pulled you into an unfamiliar studio, it was solidified. You ended up talking about music with Jihoon for hours, work abandoned on your desktop where you left it. 

Through Seungkwan, and subsequently Jihoon, you discovered that there was quite a large queer community inside of the K-Pop industry; one that you had found yourself in the middle of, despite having no attraction to men. 

That was until you had a rather big fight with a long term girlfriend over your best friend being gay. Jihoon liked to be upfront about his orientation, in case it was a deal breaker for any potential friendships, but seeing as you were being dragged around the Hybe building by Seungkwan, it was much easier for Jihoon to come out and tell you. 

It wasn’t an issue. You were a lot of things, but being like your father wasn’t one of them. You thanked him for telling you, but reassured him that it wouldn’t be an issue for you. It was an issue for your girlfriend though.

She didn’t like how much time you spent with a gay man; assumed that every single interaction with him was him trying to ‘convert’ you. It was ridiculous, but a persistent issue throughout your entire relationship. You tried to avoid conflict by not bringing her around Jihoon, trying to sweep the issue under the rug, until it all came to a head. 

Things had been tense in your relationship for a while, but one night while watching television with your girlfriend, the lead male actor had done some fan service and it left you feeling weird. Your girlfriend noticed the way your jaw tensed, and interrogated you until it suddenly blew up into a full blown argument. 

“So fucking what if I think other men are attractive? That doesn’t change the fact that I’m with you, or that I’m in love with you.” You had said, and that seemed to put the final nail in the coffin of your relationship. 

“Oh my god. He has fucking converted you.” She hissed, and all the months of reassurance, years even, seemed to be all for nothing. She called you nearly every single name under the sun, while simultaneously making your best friend seem like someone who came straight from the fifth circle of hell. It was non-negotiable for you. Insulting someone who understood you better than anyone else, who would’ve never judged you for the fleeting thoughts you had about men… it was over the second she opened her mouth. 

Two years down the drain as you packed a bag and told her it was over, tears streaming down your face at the audacity she had to talk about Jihoon like that, but also for the wasted years  you spent with someone like that. Someone so vile and full of hatred.

The queer community, as you had learned, was far more accepting and understanding than the straight community. Jihoon was an extension of that. When you showed up at his door, crying and out of breath from trying to contain your anger towards your now ex-girlfriend, he pulled you into his apartment, holding you tightly as he rubbed circles on your back. He let you in for the night, offering the spare bedroom he had in case his parents came to visit. 

You didn’t say much that night, just told him it was over. You spared the details about the fight you had being about him. That would’ve upset him immensely, and you couldn’t deal with him being upset at the moment. You stayed the night, and then you never really left. 

With the freedom of being single, you began to find yourself staring at more men, none of them were your friends, except for Jihoon. You had told Seungkwan while drunk one night that if Jihoon was a woman, you would be head over heels in love with him. Seungkwan had laughed it off, but as your attraction toward men began to confuse you, he was the first person you went to for advice. 

He comforted you, cooing softly at your internal turmoil, trying to understand the best he could. Seugkwan offered advice when necessary in your conversation, but told you he wouldn’t be much help because he had always known that he was gay. If you really wanted advice, he had said, then your best bet was to talk to Vernon or Seungcheol about it. And so you did, though it took you three weeks to muster up the courage to text Seungcheol to talk about something ‘personal and kind of serious but not really.’

Seungcheol had been a very intimidating figure when you first met him, but he was the one who would text you to get drinks after work, and your friendship solidified quite quickly. You were close with Jihoon, and that was all he needed to like you enough to initiate a friendship. You shyly confessed to Seungcheol that you had been, in the time since your conversation with Seungkwan, having provocative dreams about men; omitting the detail that most of them were about Jihoon on all fours, something you were quite ashamed about.

It had been about seven months since your breakup when you had your conversation with Seungcheol, and you and Jihoon were roommates. Things like this could ruin any regular roommate dynamic, but you and Jihoon weren’t normal. Seungcheol listened to your internal struggles, and reassured you that it was normal to feel some confusion, that you didn’t have to have everything figured out right now, but that you were definitely bi-curious from what you had told him.

Putting a label on things gave you a little comfort.

You had been thinking about your conversation with Seungcheol, and subsequently what being bi-curious even meant, for a while before you brought it up to Jihoon, and seemingly out of nowhere. One night, in the downtime of a new action anime you had started watching, you asked him how he knew he was gay. All he did was raise an eyebrow before telling you. When he was finished he asked the dreaded question: why?

Yeah, why were you thinking about suddenly kissing boys? Women had been fine this far along into your life, so what changed? The easiest answer to that question was the man who had asked it. Jihoon was pretty, this was something that was an objective fact, and you’d always been drawn to pretty things. 

The issue was that you lived together. Normally when things got weird inside your head, you’d run from the problem. This time you couldn’t just run; moving out suddenly wasn’t an option, Jihoon would know something was up, and you couldn’t explain why you needed to leave without sounding like a big fat liar. 

You told him that you had talked to Seungcheol and Seungkwan separately, and that you thought you might be bi-curious. You told him you had started to think about one of your friends a little differently, excluding the fact that it was him. Jihoon comforted you, while softly scolding you for not telling him sooner, but reassured you that you could tell him anything and he’d help you the best he could. After your conversation with Jihoon, he resumed the anime you had been watching and held you close, making sure you were okay with it first, and things changed slightly after that.

So all you did was give in. Living together with someone who hates skinship as much as you do is strange because it’s a double negative. You both tend to stay away from other people, but somehow that cancels out. or maybe it’s just the Jihoon effect. Either way, living together had resulted in a nightly ritual of watching anime on the couch together. 

It was how both of you decompressed before you lived together, so it was something you started doing in each other's company. Obviously you didn’t start getting clingy right away, but each night the distance between the two of you would get smaller and smaller until you ended up resting your head on Jihoon’s chest one night when you were extra tired. He didn’t say anything, just wrapped an arm around you and pulled you into him further. 

And so it became a thing. Shortly after, Jihoon started laying down with his head in your lap. This was your favourite way to lay, because it allowed you to play with his hair. 

Much like right now. Jihoon had never seen Given, and you were a little shocked to learn that. Not that all gay people need to consume all types of gay media, but for an anime buff as big as Jihoon, you were sure he had to have seen it, especially considering the plot. Jihoon was laying in your lap, long dark hair slotted in between your fingers. He preened like a cat when you massage a sensitive part of his scalp. 

“I can’t believe you’ve never seen this.” You sigh, head leaning back against the couch. He hums softly, pushing his cheek against your thigh. 

“Not all gay people know every single piece of gay media.” He laughs quietly. On the screen, Mafuyu strums his guitar softly, glancing to Uenoyama for approval. “Is this why you wanted me to see this? Because he has a red Gibson hollow body?” Jihoon turns his head up to look up at you. You look away from the television to see his big, brown eyes shimmering softly in the low light of the evening. 

“No. It’s cute, and I think you’ll find the plot… decent enough.” You laugh softly, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. Jihoon just hums, turning his attention back to the show, and that’s it. That’s the end of the conversation for the time being. 

A few more episodes in, a flashback scene between Mafuyu and Yuki had your head tilting in curiosity. Jihoon must feel the shift of your neck, because he’s turning his head back up to you. 

“What’s up? Never seen softcore gay porn before?” He asks lightly. His tone is a little teasing, airy and careful around the subject. You’ve gotten to the point of being able to joke about it, even if your attraction to men is still quite sensitive. “I know you’re confused about things right now, but watching this kind of stuff with your gay best friend isn’t really gonna solve anything. You need to actually experience it.” He clicks his tongue softly, as though he’s unsure of what exactly to say next. 

You fill that decision for him by speaking next. “I’ve already seen the entire series, Jihoon. It’s not that, I just… I guess I’m a little curious about what it feels like. Not that I want to… um, not that I’m thinking about that stuff right now. I’m barely comfortable with the idea of touching a dick that isn’t mine.” You stumble over your words, blush creeping its way up your neck in the familiar way it always does with the subject. 

Jihoon laughs softly. “You know you can talk to me about this stuff, right? I thought we established that it was okay for you to ask questions.” His voice is still light, but it’s sincere. He wants you to know that you can trust him, and you do. 

“Yeah, I know. It’s just, like— I’m just not used to it. I know that I find guys pretty, but I think I’m having trouble imagining doing anything with them. I don’t know if I could.” Jihoon hums in acknowledgment, his hand carefully slides over your thigh in an attempt to soothe you. It doesn’t work. 

“Even if I sort of always knew, it was difficult to start doing anything. I mean, I lived with twelve other guys for all of my experimental teenage years. I didn’t really have the privacy or the time to experiment. We were new to the industry, I didn’t really have a foundation to start. But when I did, I took it slow.” Jihoon squeezes the flesh of your thigh through your sweatpants softly. “The first time I sucked dick, I threw up.” He laughs softly, and you follow. The image is amusing, but then you dwell on it for a second too long, and the image of Jihoon sucking your dick flashes briefly through your mind. 

You shift in your spot to get rid of it. It works. “I don’t know if I’d ever be able to suck dick. That just seems like a lot.” You sigh softly. 

“How can you be sure if you’ve never even tried it?” Jihoon rolls over onto his back, head still in your lap as he looks up at you. You resist the urge to run your fingers through his hair in this position. “Thinking guys are pretty and actually doing things with them are two very different things. You don’t really strike me as the kind of guy to just start sucking dick, but you don’t have to do everything right away.” 

“I know, but isn’t it sort of expected? Like, women need foreplay, so isn’t some kind of foreplay needed with men too? Especially with… sex? Like you clearly have to stretch that shit open, and that’s a little scary.” You swallow hard. You know Jihoon’s watching your throat from the way his eyes follow the bob of your Adam's apple. 

“Well yeah, but I think if you explained your situation to someone they could take care of that at first. And you don’t need to bottom right away.” Jihoon pauses for a few seconds. “What about sucking dick is so scary?” He asks, voice a little softer. 

“All of it. Having something in my mouth.” Jihoon laughs softly. 

“Yeah. Your gag reflex is terrible.” He butts in. You laugh, though it’s a little strained. 

“What do I do if they cum in my mouth? Spit? I guess there’s also a little fear around not being good at it.” You exhale, and the illusion is broken. The one you carefully built up around Jihoon, even though he told you not to. The one that made him think you hadn’t actively been thinking about giving head instead of receiving it.

Jihoon sits up carefully. Your thighs miss the warmth of his head instantly. He’s looking right at you, big brown eyes somehow bigger than normal. “Have you ever tasted your own cum before?” He asks, and for a second you think, pray, that he’s joking, but he’s dead serious. 

“What?!” You ask, slightly exasperated. 

“I’m asking if you’ve ever tasted your own cum.” You stutter out syllables for a few seconds before finally gathering your thoughts to respond to him. 

“I- uh, yeah. Once. It got in my mouth by accident.” Jihoon hums, shifting a little closer to you. You know he’s not satisfied with your answer though. “It was really bitter.” He nods softly. 

“Was this before or after you moved in with me? If it’s before then it was probably your diet.” Somehow, Jihoon’s knowledge of fitness and sex always seemed to shock you. “You didn’t eat properly before you moved in with me. It should be a little sweeter now. Easier to swallow.” Something in his eyes shifts, and it’s dangerous. 

“Jihoon—” He cuts you off swiftly, not giving you the time to digest the double meaning of his words. 

“Do you think about kissing guys?” You nod weakly, shivering softly as his hand finds your lower thigh again. “Do you think you could kiss another guy?” Another weak nod. 

“I’ve kissed Seokmin before.” Jihoon laughs softly, ignoring your attempt to dissolve the tension. 

“I’ve kissed Seokmin. What about other guys? What about this friend you told me about?” He tilts his head, fingers ghosting up further on your thigh. At this point, you can already anticipate how the night is going to end, but you’d rather not focus on that right now. 

“Uh, yeah. Shouldn’t be too different from kissing women, right?” Jihoon nods curtly. 

“Right.” His fingers brush your inner thigh and you shiver softly. “All you need to do is find someone willing to help you out; let you try things in a judgement free environment.” Your cock twitches softly in your pants. 

“Finding someone is the problem.” You sigh, head lulling back against the couch. 

“You have me, though.” He almost purrs out. 

“Jihoon, I can’t—” You start before it's quickly shut down. 

“I know you’re curious. So do you want to try some things? You’ll never know if you don’t try, Y/N.” You nod softly, eyes squeezing shut as his hand finally reaches the top of your thigh. “We’ll keep it lighthearted, yeah? As far as you want to go, we’ll go. You can’t fuck me tonight though. I might not be clean enough for that right now.” The mental image of being balls deep in Jihoon’s ass is enough to get your cock twitching softly. Your sweatpants do fuck all to hide the slow growth of your erection as his hand moves higher up to your hips. 

You cross your arms in an attempt to maintain some semblance of self control. “Then can I kiss you?” You breathe out a shaky yes. “Uncross your arms, Y/N.” You do as he tells you, letting them fall to your sides. He shifts onto his knees, before he’s moving. 

“What are you— oh.” Jihoon pushes you back onto the couch softly, thick thighs straddling your legs as he sits down right on your lap. He laughs softly, gaze incredibly tender as he looks over your face, scanning for any discomfort. “Don’t look at me like that.” You laugh softly. 

“Like what?” He tilts his head again, hand creeping up your neck slowly. 

“Like that. With your eyes.” Jihoon throws his head back in a laugh, the air around you growing comfortable despite the nerves boiling in your stomach. His pale neck is on full display, and you briefly wonder what it would look like covered in hickeys. 

“Shut up. I’m trying to kiss you, and you’re pulling this shit.” He sighs out another laugh, his other hand running up your arm. His fingers play with the hair at the nape of your neck. 

“Sorry. I’m just nervous.” You breathe out, hands carefully moving to hold his waist. Your thumb rests on his hip bone, or where it should be. The fabric of his sweater makes it hard to pinpoint exactly where it is. 

“I know. That’s okay. If you want to stop, just tell me, but I’m a good kisser so you don’t have to worry about that.” His thumb strokes your jaw, before he’s closing his eyes; pretty, long eyelashes fluttering as he leans in slowly. You can’t help the way your other hand rests softly on his ass. He puffs air out between his lips at that, and you close the distance between both of you. 

Surprisingly, or more so surprising to you, Jihoon is a very sensual kisser. The second your lips connect, he’s taking it slow, letting the initial contact linger, before he starts moving his jaw slowly. 

You move your other hand to his ass, carefully giving a small squeeze as you try to distract yourself from the small voice that’s whispering softly inside your head that this isn’t you, that you’re not gay. Jihoon whines softly against your mouth, and it’s enough of a distraction to pull you back into the kiss, back into him. 

The flesh of his ass is soft. You expected it to be pure muscle, but it wasn’t entirely that. It’s firm, an obvious side effect of all the hours he spends in the gym per week, but there’s a layer of fat that makes it squishy. You know it would jiggle if you slapped it, and that makes you squeeze a little harder, the movement of your lips picking up in speed as you kiss him a little deeper. 

He whines softly as your hand slips up his back, under his hoodie and shirt to caress his bare skin. Jihoon is a good kisser, and when he whines again as you knead his ass, you take the opportunity to slip your tongue into his mouth. 

Immediately Jihoon is sucking on it softly, trying to elicit some kind of sound from you. It works as you grunt, hand on his back pulling his chest into yours in a quick motion that leaves both of you so dizzy. Your cocks brush each other in this new close proximity, and Jihoon releases his suction on your tongue to push his own into your mouth as well. 

Jihoon’s tongue is soft and velvety against yours. He kitten licks into your mouth, soft whines and whimpers falling into your mouth as your hands explore his ass and back. The feeling of his ass under your hand makes you a little light headed. It’s just so soft, even through the fabric of his sweats. 

Jihoon gives an experimental roll of his hips against your lap, bulge knocking into yours. Both of you moan out lowly, lips still brushing each other as you take a moment to process. Jihoon laughs softly, pulling away for a second to speak. “At least you’re hard. That's a good sign.” He jokes, one of his hands abandoning its place on your arm to run it down your chest. 

“Fuck,” You gasp softly, as Jihoon rolls his hips again. “You’re just so fucking pretty, Jihoon.” You breathe, and it’s so incredibly honest it makes Jihoon’s skin burn. He almost pulls away before he leans back in, pushing you further into the couch as he grinds against you. His fingers curl around the fabric of your t-shirt, pulling you closer to him. 

“Shit, baby, don’t say things like that.” He gasps into your mouth, before his head falls to the crook of your neck. His hips never stop moving, precum leaking from his tip, darkening the grey fabric of his sweatpants. 

You can’t see the spot on his sweats, but you can feel it start to seep into your own sweats. Jihoon places a hesitant kiss on your neck. “Baby?” You question, tone teasing as your hand slides further up his back. 

“Is it okay if I call you that?” He pulls his face away from your neck to ask the question. His eyes are searching your face for any discomfort. 

“Call me whatever you like.” The hand on his back reaches the back of his neck, and you pull him in carefully for another kiss. This time, the sensuality is gone. It’s hungry. 

You almost crave Jihoon’s small noises; crave the way he rolls his hips into you, crave (what you just realized) how fucking hard he is. The feeling of grinding against something with shape feels infinitely better. It makes your head spin a little at the realization; that you’d (at least right now) much rather have Jihoon on your lap than any woman. 

You lick into his mouth, arm slipping out of his shirt, down his back and up to his face to hold it. You kiss him like you’re starving, or maybe it’s because you may never have the opportunity to do so again. He moans into your mouth, fingers catching on your shirt as he tugs it softly. 

Your tongues fight back and forth in a perfect rhythm, sucking, nipping, biting at each other. You squeeze his ass a little harder, delivering a soft slap to it. Jihoon yelps into your mouth and you know you’ve got him right where you need him. Through your dreams about him, you’ve deducted that he might be submissive, and you can feel his control slipping away from him as you keep grabbing and kissing him. 

The hand on his face falls, and you test your luck by placing your hand on top of your dick, palm up, when he lifts his hips. On the down motion, his cock makes contact with your hand and he breaks. More precum leaks from his cock, leaving a slight sheen on your hand. You give an experimental squeeze through his sweats and he moans loudly into your mouth, teeth clashing into yours before he pulls away. 

“Fuck, I-I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that.” He pants, leaning his forehead against yours as he lets out a breathy laugh. You place a soft kiss to his jaw, craning your neck slightly to reach the area. 

“Isn’t that the goal?” You ask, carefully giving a soft squeeze to his cock. He hisses softly, back arching. 

“Well, yeah, but I-I gotta teach you.” Despite his subtle protest, he still pushes his hips down into your palm. You pull your hand away, letting your thumb rest on the hem of his sweatpants. You carefully push the single digit under the band, nail brushing against his v-line. 

Jihoon pulls his bottom lip into his teeth, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. He goes to speak again, but for some reason can’t figure out what to say. 

“If you’re gonna teach me, then tell me what to do. Tell me how to make you feel good.” You push your hand further down his hips, to his lower stomach and into the hem of his boxers. You can feel the heat from his cock radiating against your fingers. He shivers. 

“Fuck. Gonna teach you how to suck dick.” Jihoon shifts, getting off your lap. Your hand slips back out of his pants, lingering on his waist. “Get on your knees for me.” He sits on his knees on the couch, before shifting to sit normally. 

You do as he says, letting go of him to slide off the couch and onto your knees right in between his legs. He moans softly at the sight of you in this position, hands itching to touch you. Jihoon shifts forward. You rest your chin on his lower thigh, eyes wide as you wait for instructions on what to do. He doesn’t speak, just runs a hand through your hair as he gets his bearings. “You’ve gotten a blow job before right?” Jihoon asks breathlessly. 

“Yes, I’ve had my dick sucked before.” You laugh softly, leaning into his touch. He looks completely fucked out already; face and neck flushed and you know it’s reached the top of his chest from all the times he’s thrown off his shirt after getting home from the gym. 

“Then I won’t give you much instruction. Just feel it out. You know what feels good, so just go based off of that.” He brushes your cheek with his thumb. You nod, shifting to get closer to his lap. Now on your knees, you can really see how hard he is. His erection is straining against his sweatpants and it’s big. Jihoon’s size is a little intimidating, especially for a first time, and it’s not even out in the open. You carefully run a hand up his thigh, back to the band of his sweats, fully ready to pull them off him if he lets you, but then you stall for a second. 

You move your face from its spot on his thigh, hovering right over his dick before you lean down and place a careful kiss to it over the fabric. Jihoon moans loudly, fist tightening in your hair. You nuzzle your face into his erection, giving him some kind of friction as you continue to work him up. 

He swears loudly, lips parting as his breath quickens. You have the benefit of the doubt here; you know what feels good, your favourite ways past partners have treated you before going down on you, and you hope Jihoon likes similar things. He looks so pretty like this, and you feel some precum leak from your tip as your cock twitches at the realization. 

You use both hands to push his shirt and sweater up. You place a trail of kisses up his cock to his stomach before you kiss the skin of his abs. Kissing almost pure muscle is different from the soft skin you’re used to. Somehow, you think you like it a little bit better when you sink your teeth into one of the ridges, sucking a mark into his abs. 

Jihoon moans, pulling at your hair, hips bucking up off the couch. His sweater stays in place pushed up his torso as your hands move back down to his sweats. He lifts his hips off the cushions to help you. You pull his sweats down, boxers slipping further down his waist but not coming off. You take the opportunity to palm him through his boxers once his sweats are at his ankles, fully getting a feel for how hard and big he is. He’s not as thick as you are, but there’s still significant weight to his cock. 

He’s hard and leaking, moans slipping past his lips as you continue to suck marks into his abs, trailing further and further down. you squeeze his cock, other hand toying with the hem of his boxers. His hips buck up again, a whine slipping past his lips. “Fuck, take them off please.” You laugh at the desperation in his voice. “It hurts.” He hisses, and you know, just by how tight they are on him that it does hurt, so you pull them down to his ankles. 

His cock hits your neck as it springs free. You pull away from him, sitting back on your knees, hands rubbing his thighs. He shivers again, hand still in your hair as he pets it softly. “Scary?” He asks, voice soft. 

“Yeah. I’m a little intimidated.” You laugh nervously, and he brushes your cheek again in reassurance. 

“Just take your time. If you’re not feeling it, we can stop. I don’t expect you to deep throat me with your gag reflex being so bad, but just feel it out.” You laugh again, this time less nervous at his word. He’s right about the gag reflex though. He’s heard you gag from holding your toothbrush in your mouth for too long. Sucking dick is uncharted territory. 

You lick your hand, wetting it to wrap it around his cock. Your hand shakes as it makes first contact with his cock, giving a slow, careful pump up his entire length. Jihoon closes his eyes as he moans, head falling back. “Fuck, sorry, it’s been a while since anyones touched me.” He lets out a breathy laugh, thighs shaking softly. You give another gentle stroke to his cock, milking the precum out of him on the upstroke. You can’t help yourself as your other hand falls down to his inner thigh, nails raking over the skin. He moans again, lip tucked in between his teeth. 

“You’re so sensitive.” You coo, pushing his thighs further apart. “Legs up.” You prompt. Jihoon opens his eyes, lids heavy with lust as he stares at you.

“Put your legs up for me, pretty. I’m gonna eat you out.” You lean forward, kissing his upper thigh. Your face brushes against his cock, which you’re slowly working with one of your hands. He swears again, doing as you say. His sweats and boxers fall off his ankles and onto the floor. Your grip on his cock releases for a few seconds as you pull his hips further to the edge of the couch. 

“Didn’t know you were into that.” He gasps softly when your hand wraps back around him. 

“I’ve eaten ass before, angel. At least I know I can make you feel good this way.” The pet name of choice does something to Jihoon; he whines softly, desperately at the suggestion. Settled where you need to be, you lean down, flattening your tongue as you stick it out. His hole is pink and tight, perfectly smooth like the rest of him. 

You knew Jihoon liked to shave, preferred to be hairless partially because of his idol image, but you now knew it extended to part of his personal care. There was not a single hair in sight, which was good for you. Part of your anxiety around men in general was the presence of hair. Getting your own hair in your mouth was something you hated, and so getting another person's hair in your mouth during an intimate moment was something that scared you more than it should have. 

You lean down further, licking a long strip over his entrance. Immediately, his hips are bucking up, cock pushing itself further up into your hand which had stalled its movements as you assessed the situation. His balls hit your face, perfect and round; full. He whines softly, every last strand of his feigned dominance dissolving with the first intrusion of your tongue. You repeat the motion several times, getting him nice and wet before you start circling his entrance with your tongue. 

Jihoon’s little noises pick up in volume and frequency, breathing growing frantic on top of you. He’s tense, something isn’t great for you to work your magic, so you pull away briefly. “Just relax, angel. You’re too tense right now.” You murmur into the skin of his ass. He exhales a shaky breath, relaxing his muscles as he leans back into the couch, now laying down with his weight resting on his arms so he can still watch you. 

With his body more relaxed, you go back to rimming him before you carefully prod his entrance with your tongue. The hand on his cock starts moving again, jerking him off slowly. Your nose presses into his perineum as you start to push your tongue into him and his hand is back in your hair, grip tightening as you start to fuck him with your tongue. 

You never did mind eating ass; if it was what your partner wanted, you’d do it. But eating Jihoon out has got to be the single hottest thing you’ve ever done. His moans are so breathy and desperate that all you can think about right now is making him feel good. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. So good with your mouth, shit.” He babbles, voice shaking as he speaks. 

You keep fucking him open with your tongue, flicking it up inside him, despite the tight muscles protest. His cock is leaking nonstop now, slick precum meeting your palm as you continue to stroke him slowly, going base to tip. Your lips suction around his hole as you push your tongue in and out, picking up speed. Jihoon’s hips buck once again before he's whining out a warning. You pull your tongue out of him, sitting back on your knees as you let go of his cock. His eyes are wide in disbelief at you ripping his orgasm away from him.

“What the fuck?” He blinks a few times.

“I still need to suck you off.” Is all you offer, before Jihoon’s placing his feet back on the floor, using the hand in his hair to pull you closer to his cock. His eyes flicker, darkening, appearing sharper as he leans down to kiss you, tongue lapping at the inside of your mouth to taste himself on you. He pulls away, out of breath, leaving you slightly dazed at the shift in his demeanour. 

The brief display of dominance is gone when he sees you staring at his cock, lips parting slightly as you try and calculate your first move. “Take your time. I know it’s scary.” His hand in your hair pets it softly, moving a few pieces out of your face. You shift forward, taking it back into your hand, thinking back to all the times you’ve gotten head before. 

You start with what’s familiar, opening your mouth to pull one of his balls into your mouth. You never thought a dick could be pretty, but Jihoon is proof that this can happen. It’s perfectly straight, long and thick with a pretty pink tip. His balls are round and smooth; everything about his body seems to work with each other. You make eye contact with him as your lips wrap around his balls, tongue darting out to lick at the skin. He moans softly, hand pushing your hair out of your face. His own hair is covering parts of his face, a pure testament to how long it's gotten. 

You switch your attention to his other ball once you’re satisfied with your work, repeating the same set of actions. Then it’s time to get to the main star of the show; his cock, which is painfully hard in your hand. You pull off his balls with a sharp pop, taking a few seconds to psych yourself up. You start by licking a long stripe up his shaft, hands settling on his thighs. His hand in your hair releases itself to give you more mobility. Once you reach his tip, you place a soft kiss over his head. His precum coats your lips, and you lick it off hesitantly. It’s salty, but there’s an undertone to it that’s sweet. It’s not unpleasant. Jihoon moans at the sight of you fully tasting him, hand back in your hair with his grip much less tight. 

You open your mouth to take him in, breathing out as your eyes close to calm your gag reflex that you can already feel preemptively acting up. “Relax your jaw. It’s easier to open your mouth wider if you’re not so tense.” He suggests quietly. “It’s like singing vowels, relax the back of your throat and you won’t strain so much.” Musically speaking, it makes it easier to follow his instructions. You do as he instructs, opening your mouth as you use your hand to guide his cock into your mouth. 

Jihoon’s tip hits your tongue, the taste of his precum filling your mouth as more leaks out of his head. You close your lips around his tip, sucking softly on it, eliciting a loud moan from Jihoon. With your jaw relaxed, you take him a little further into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you suck. What is entirely unexpected is the way your mouth seems to water around him. The excess spit makes it easier to slide him further into your mouth, cheeks hollowing as you start to slowly bob your head. 

Jihoon pushes your hair back from your forehead, lips parted as breathy moans slip past them constantly. “Use your hand to get what you can’t fit in your mouth.” You do as he says, stroking the bigger half of his cock that isn’t inside your mouth. “You’re doing so good, baby. You’ve got almost half.” If anyone else was to tell you this, it may have seemed a bit condescending, but it’s Jihoon and you know he's being sincere in his praises. You moan around him softly, the vibration completely unexpected. It makes Jihoon buck his hips before he stops himself. “Fuck, sorry.” He pants, a shaky laugh following his apology. 

Only after he praises you do you fully realize how fucking hard you are. You remove your other hand from his thigh to slot it inside your sweats, fingers sneaking under the hem of your boxes as you wrap your hand around your leaking cock. The relief is immediate, making you moan again around him. You go back to focusing on him, head bobbing a little faster, taking a little more until his tip is close to kissing the back of your throat. You quicken your own hand, squeezing once you get to your tip with each pump of your fist. 

Jihoon doesn’t stop watching you, and it’s only when your eyes roll back slightly that he realizes the reason your hand left its place on his thigh. “Are you touching yourself, baby?” He asks, voice shaky. For some reason, he can’t seem to stabilize it. You do your best to nod as you read the tip of his cock as you bob your head. His grip on your hair tightens again as he moans out a string of explicits. 

You take too much on the way down, Jihoon’s tip hitting the back of your throat, and you gag hard, pulling all the way off his cock. Jihoon immediately rubs your cheek with his thumb, wiping at the small tears that had gathered in your eyes at the force of your gag reflex activating. “Careful, baby. Don’t get too ahead of yourself.” You laugh weakly, panting softly.

“Sorry. I didn’t think that would be so aggressive. I’m okay.” You reassure him, voice a little scratchy and face burning in embarrassment. He smiles, a little fucked out and weak as he wipes away the few tears left in your eyes. 

“Don’t be sorry. It happens.” He coos, eyes softening at the flush spreading over your face. You take a few seconds to catch your breath before your mouth is back around his cock, a new sense of determination in your movements as a way to redeem yourself from that embarrassment. Jihoon’s eyes roll back in his head again, more soft moans and whimpers slipping past his lips as he realizes how loud he's being. 

You keep up this pace, fist tightening around your own cock as you stroke the rest of his. Jihoon moans lowly. “Fuck, just like that. Just like that, baby.” He hisses through his teeth, eyes shut tight as he resists the urge to fuck himself into your mouth. “Shit, I'm close.” His fist in your hair goes to pull you off of him so he can finish, but you keep sucking, suddenly feeling the need to swallow his load. 

He swears again, thighs shaking as he tries to push his orgasm away for a few more seconds to give you time to pull off. When you don't, his fist in your hair pulls you down onto him. His free hand curls into the fabric of his sweater, gripping it harshly as he tugs at it. His hips jerk slightly, cock twitching in your mouth as the first drops of his orgasm hit your tongue. He cums into your mouth, high whines and moans slipping past his lips as his eyes screw shut. You keep sucking him through it, swallowing his load as it fills your mouth. Jihoon cums hard, cock twitching as you suck out every last drop. 

When he’s finished, you pull off, dropping your hand from his cock. You sit on your knees, giving him time to calm down from his high. Now with nothing else to focus on, your movements on your own cock quicken. With your lip between your teeth, you bite back the shame bubbling in your stomach from being on your knees, jerking yourself off in front of another man who’s dick you just sucked and ass you just tongue fucked.

Jihoon bounces back quickly, leaning forward to pull you up to the couch. You let him guide you up and onto the couch, before he’s slipping off the couch himself, sweater falling down to barely cover his ass as he falls to his knees. Wordlessly, his hands grab at your sweats, one hand rubbing your erection over the fabric. “You don’t have to.” You breathe out, though the way your hips jolt is a direct contradiction to your statement. 

Jihoon shakes his head softly. “Wan’ to.” His eyes zero in on the massive bulge in front of him, and he starts to pull your sweats down, boxers caught under his fingers to go with them. You lift your hips to help him out, cock slapping your stomach as it springs free. 

Jihoon’s jaw visibly drops at the sight of your cock out in the open. He spits in his hand, the sound lewd and unashamed. Jihoon wraps it around your head, squeezing softly. You watch him intently.

Generally speaking, you’ve never really paid attention to someone’s hand on your cock. That was before Jihoon, apparently, because you can’t seem to pull your eyes away from the way his slender fingers look wrapped around your thick, painfully hard, cock. His knuckles are blushed, nails perfectly trimmed, group ring glistening in the dim light of the television which has paused from the episode ending, and his spit. He gives you a few pumps before he takes you into his mouth. 

Jihoon gets about halfway before he pulls back up, tongue swirling around your head before he’s on his way back down, taking you even further. He does it again, this time opening his throat to take you deeper. You moan lowly at the tightness of his throat, hand finding its place in his long, dark hair. You push his bangs back, which are overgrown and in his eyes. 

Jihoon’s plush lips look so full with your cock in between them, red from kissing him and biting them to silence his moans. His big eyes are focused on you, and if there was anything that got you going, it was eye contact. He swirls his tongue around your tip again, cheeks hollowing on the way down before he takes you into his throat, all the way from tip to base. 

Your other hand finds his head, brushing back the other side of his hair, before you close your eyes and buck your hips up, swearing quietly. Your cock twitches as Jihoon tightens his throat around you. You hold his head there, leaving your cock all the way down his throat. “Fuck, angel, I’m gonna cum.” You slur, head falling back into the couch as your cock twitches again, the first drops of your orgasm sliding down his throat. 

Jihoon resumes bobbing his head, now not pulling all the way off like he was doing before. Another deep moan slips past your lips before your orgasm washes over you like a hot tidal wave. It’s probably the hardest you’ve cum in a long time, a result of the most mind blowing head you’ve probably ever received. Jihoon pulls back, getting your cock out of his throat to taste your release. He keeps sucking, milking your cock dry before he swallows every last drop. 

Jihoon pulls his mouth off your cock with a lewd, wet pop. He finds his boxers on the floor, slipping them back on before he sits beside you on the couch. Your face is red and burning with your orgasm, but also with a little shame. You quickly lean over to pull your sweatpants and boxers back up, avoiding eye contact with Jihoon at all costs. “Talk to me. What’s going on right now?” Jihoon’s voice is soft, careful as if you’re a shattered glass only hanging on by the force of gravity.

“Guilt, mostly. A little shame. Nothing you've done; I’m just processing.” Jihoon nods carefully, whole body tense at the way your voice is shaking, like you might be close to tears. You can feel that familiar knot grow in your throat, and you might actually cry.

“C’mon, it’s late. Let's go to bed.” Jihoon ushers, grabbing your hand to pull you up off the couch. You follow him silently, television forgotten as he leads you down the hall to your bedrooms. 

You pull away from him as you reach your room, but his grip on your hand tightens. “Wh–” You sputter, before he interjects swiftly.

“You just went through something that’s gonna be really rough to acknowledge later. I’m not gonna let you do that alone; you’re staying with me tonight. Unless you really do want to be alone.” Jihoon’s thumb rubs a soothing circle into the back of your hand, and you know he’s right. You let him pull you into his bedroom, let him pull the covers back on his bed, let him pull you under the covers with him. You watch him roll over to turn the lamp off before he’s curling himself into your chest, hand finding the side of your neck to rub your nape softly in reassurance. 

It’s unspoken, the comfort he’s giving you right now. You lean forward to press a kiss to his lips as a thank you for understanding just how confusing things are, how jumbled your thoughts are right now. “I’m sorry. Things feel kinda funky inside my head right now, but I think I’m okay.” You kiss him again, arm wrapping around his waist. 

“I wish I could help more.” He sighs, reconnecting your lips after his statement. “Do you feel any regret?” He asks hesitantly.

It’s your turn to kiss him again. “Regret? No, no. I think I’m just reevaluating a lot of things right now.” Another soft kiss. “Scared at how much I actually enjoyed that, yes.” Another one. 

“You did really well.” Another. “Scared the shit out of me when you gagged though.” Jihoon laughs softly, fatigue starting to set in. You kiss him again as a small apology for scaring him.

“You think so?” You ask, suddenly embarrassed at his praises. Another kiss.

“You did good.” Jihoon delivers a weak, playful punch to your chest, before he kisses you again. 

“I can’t fucking believe you deep throated me.” You laugh quietly, slightly exasperated as you recall the way he had you cumming in mere minutes. You kiss him softly.

“I don’t really have a gag reflex.” He giggles softly, yawning. Another kiss. The conversation continues like this, alternating between words and kisses until both of you are too tired to do either. As Jihoon’s breathing evens out, you feel your chest tighten in a way it never has before. He nuzzles his face into your chest softly, hair pushing its way into your face. His shampoo overwhelms your senses and the tightening gets worse. 

This, objectively, changes everything. You can’t exactly place the tightness, but it’s familiar in the same way Jihoon is when you come home to him every night. Maybe it’s the warmth of your orgasm, or maybe it’s the warmth of Jihoon himself as you hold him in your arms as he sleeps. Whatever it is, it’s an issue for the morning. You’re too tired to pinpoint it, and so you let yourself succumb to it, drifting off surrounded by overwhelming safety. 

a/n: part two?? part three??? part four??? i have so many thoughts abt this anon ask that im considering making it a full series maybe.

this is so exciting nviutniurbtiuhrt

tell it to my heart [series masterlist]

idol!woozi x male soloist!reader

tags vary per chapter.

general tags: bi-curious/bisexual reader. openly gay jihoon. multiple queer members of svt. mentions of homophobia and internalized homophobia. gay sex. anal sex. blowjobs. rimming. ass eating. bottom jihoon. sub jihoon.

status: ongoing.

1. through me

genre: smut. fluff. mild angst.

summary: after a particularly rough breakup, y/n has time to reevaluate his sexuality. and, well, you’ll never know if you never try; even if the guilt eats you alive.

2. damage gets done

genre: angst. smut. fluff. hurt/comfort.

summary: a long, difficult conversation puts y/n and jihoon on the same page, but an impromptu visit from y/n’s parents make that page seem chapters away. the best way to get over your feelings? fucking them out.

3. first time

genre: smut. heavy fluff. mild angst.

summary: things have been going well in terms of y/n exploring exploring his sexuality, but giving up control is uncharted territory. jihoon understands that, and is willing to hold him through it. even if it’s difficult.

4. casual

genre: smut. fluff.

summary: the goal of sex is to get off, but this time it’s simply to enjoy each others company. things start to seem a lot less casual when the first sparks of love begin to make themselves known.

5. all things end

genre: heavy angst. smut.

summary: no one was supposed to find out, but soonyoung can’t keep himself from prying his way into jihoon’s studio. when faced with the knowledge of what y/n has been doing, it’s all too much. too much of a good thing won’t be good for long, all things must end, and all y/n can do is run.

6. inferno

genre: fluff. angst. hurt/comfort. light smut.

summary: two weeks of silence from jihoon come to an end when y/n hears wind of him not doing well. y/n’s had a lot of time to think, and he knows. sometimes you just know.

7. sunlight

genre: fluff. smut.

summary: everything has always been so easy with jihoon, even navigating a new relationship. there’s never been anything more golden than him; not when he talks like a man and tastes like the sun.

chapter 7 is the end of the series (for now.) i might write an epilogue of sorts if anything prompts it

Relationship Quirks 96s ver.

Aka habits I can see the boys doing in a relationship || 95s || 96s || 97s || Maknae line ||

Junhui

Avoids foods you don't like or are allergic to

You thought it was weird when after you had mentioned that you were allergic or didn't like a certain food that you would never encounter it when you were with Jun. Of course, you would always avoid it but you knew Jun to not be that picky, in fact, he's quite an adventurous eater. So it just struck you as odd.

That is until you overhear him on the phone with the restaurant you guys were having a date at later tonight asking about the ingredients used in certain dishes and if {insert food here} was used. When you talk to him about this he casually says that he just wants to make sure that you eat well and like what you eat. (THE SWEETEST BOY IN THE WORLD)

Little do you know that he's started to exclude those foods from his diet as well, especially if it's an allergy you have. If it's a food you don't like then he doesn't want you to avoid kissing him if he's eaten it. BUT IF IT'S AN ALLERGY, red alert red alert, he thinks you'll go into anaphylactic shock if he eats something you're allergic to and then he touches/kisses you.

If you're not by his side when he's making decisions then it feels like the balance of the universe is off. Could be halfway across the world from each other and dude is calling you at 3am to ask which magnet he should bring home as a souvenir.

Hoshi

Needs your input on almost every decision he makes

Ooh it's bad, like looking at your parents when the doctor asks what your age is type of bad. He will know exactly what he wants at a restaurant but as soon as the waiter comes he's looking at you like a sheep and you have to mouth what he said he wanted seconds ago as he repeats you blindly. Almost all his decisions must have you're input or else he doesn't know what to do. This might be annoying to some but he values what you have to say so much. And honestly, if you disagree with something he takes it into genuine consideration and thinks about it a lot before making the final call.

His mindset can be summed up like this, "If y/n doesn't think I'll like that pasta then I probably won't like it, they know me very well."

Dude is clingy but not in a physical way... just in the way that he follows you around like a cat that wants your attention but can't say it. He does it unconsciously and to be honest it takes a mutual friend or one of the boys to point it out for either of y'all to notice. Truly it feels like he has to stay within a 30ft. radius of you sometimes.

Wonwoo

Follows you everywhere

The reason this behavior even started was because he missed you so much after tours and arduous schedules that he just HAD to be near you but he never wanted to initiate physical contact. (Being near you is enough for him) It's gotten to the point though that he ASSUMES you're taking him everywhere with you. You're upset and need "space"? Good luck! You'll be in another room for max 5mins before he's in there sitting the farthest possible distance he can while keeping you in sight.

"I can't do this right now, Wonwoo." "Fine then." "I'm going to my mom's place for a while." *Magically has both your suitcases and bags packed* "When are we leaving?"

I know I know... it's unexpected but true! The thing that I don't think a ton of carats realize is that this man does not fear affection AT ALL. He just doesn't like it in public displays. So in the privacy of his studio or at either of your homes, he is clingy, 100%.

Woozi

Needs to feel your touch

Has a computer chair that is specifically for you to be next to him while he's in the studio. If you're in the same room as him or HELL even the same building and there are no cameras or minimal people and you're not next to him then what even is the point? Might as well tell him you hate him or something, at least that's how he treats it.

The crazy part is that he doesn't even ask you for affection! He'll just say things out loud and expect you to get the message or he'll say things directly towards you but won't look in your direction. His number one phrase is, "I miss you..." all while you're feet away from him on the couch in the studio. You can be sitting in your designated chair BUT YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR LEGS DRAPED OVER HIS???? Suddenly, you hear a constant loop of "Damn, I miss my partner sooooo much, right now.", like sir? They're right there?

A/N: I am clinically insane over the 96 line. ALSO EVERYONE SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WONWOO!!!! (Even though it's literally 10pm and his day is nearly over) I'll try to have the next 2 parts out sometime tmrw. Stay sweet lovelies!! Reblogs and comments are like power surges for my writing so they are much appreciated!

TAGLIST (open): @bemybabiibish

woozi as a sugar baby!

— WARNINGS: sugar baby x sugar mommy relationship, recording laber ceo!reader, producer!jihoon, smut, fingering, mention of sex toys & stuff, fucking in front of a window, in your office, in his studio, penetrative sex, marriage, and fanting. — (Seventeen as Sugar Baby's Series)

jihoon was used to the struggle—the late nights in the studio, the endless hours tweaking every sound until it was perfect, and the constant pressure of making hits that never seemed to pay off the way they should. the old CEO made sure of that, always withholding what was owed, dangling the promise of success just out of reach, the guy constantly delayed salaries and left jihoon hanging when the songs he produced didn’t return the money.

but when the label got sold, everything changed, and that’s when you came into the picture.

he didn’t expect you to be any different at first, just another high-powered executive who wouldn’t care about the little guys.

then, one day, while leaving his studio for lunch, he saw you. high heels, a well-tailored dress, and a box in hand, walking toward the building’s garage. he’d never seen you before, but with how polished you looked, he assumed you were an executive from the building next door.

as the elevator doors opened, you stepped in, balancing the box awkwardly. jihoon, always one to lend a hand, offered to help. “need a hand with that?”

you glanced at him, considering for a moment before nodding. “thanks. these heels aren’t exactly helpful.”

he joined you in the elevator, the silence between you comfortable, but his mind was racing with curiosity. as you both reached the garage, he noticed you leading him towards a car that made his heart skip a beat—a fucking mclaren. he didn’t even know people actually drove those in real life, let alone parked them in this garage.

he put the box in the trunk, which was, unsurprisingly, really fucking small. as he stepped back, you smiled at him, a smile that seemed out of place in this concrete underground. “thank you, jihoon.”

his eyes widened. “y-you know me?” he stammered, pointing at himself like an idiot.

you nodded, your expression calm. “yes, i’m new here, but i do know you.”

he nodded back, still processing. “which department are you in?”

you extended your hand, and he shook it, your grip firm, confident. “i’m the new ceo.”

for a moment, jihoon just stood there, staring at you. the new ceo? no fucking way. his brain scrambled to process the information. you, the ceo? the woman who looked like you stepped off the pages of some high-fashion magazine, driving a car that cost more than his entire apartment building?

“i—uh—” he fumbled for words, his usual composure slipping for the first time in a long while. “i didn’t expect... i mean, you...”

you raised an eyebrow, amusement flickering in your eyes. “didn’t expect the ceo to be a woman?”

“no, not that!” he rushed to correct himself, heat rising to his face. “i just... didn’t expect someone like you.”

“someone like me?” you echoed, a hint of a challenge in your voice.

“yeah, someone who... actually talks to people and doesn’t act like an asshole,” he finished, his voice quieter, as if testing the waters.

you laughed then, a sound that echoed in the empty garage. “well, let’s just say i have a different approach.”

he nodded, still in a bit of shock. “i can see that.”

“i look forward to working with you, jihoon,” you said, stepping closer, and for a moment, he felt the weight of your gaze, like you were seeing right through him. “i’ve heard a lot about your work.”

“all good things, i hope,” he replied, trying to regain some semblance of cool.

“very good things,” you confirmed, your voice dropping just slightly, enough to make him swallow hard.

you turned to get into your car, and jihoon stood there, still trying to wrap his head around everything. before you drove off, you rolled down the window and called out, “and jihoon?”

“yeah?”

“don’t let the last ceo’s bullshit get to you. you’re worth more than that.”

and you made sure jihoon knew that. almost every day, he’d find a new box waiting in front of his studio. first, it was new producing equipment, then a sleek electric guitar, followed by expensive microphones, headphones, and even a whole computer setup. within a week or two—despite him appearing almost on his knees, begging you to stop showering him with such expensive things—his entire studio was completely renovated.

but you weren't stopping there. if you liked him this much, why not give him a whole new studio? you were already planning to move the company to a bigger, more luxurious building, so why not make sure jihoon’s space matched his talent? when you saw how happy it made him, you realized you were willing to give him anything.

soon, the presents started getting more personal. a high-end watch here, a guitar that had once belonged to a famous musician—a relic he could hardly believe was his. sometimes, you’d send something cute like a teddy bear with Swarovski crystals for eyes.

or when you surprised him with a vip ticket to see his favorite artist—that one was a real game-changer. the joy in his eyes when he got to meet them was unmatched, and in the middle of that fan meeting, with everyone around, he’d grabbed you and kissed you right on the mouth, too caught up in the moment to care. it was instinctual, the way his lips found yours, and it left you stunned, right in the middle of all those people.

later, when you were alone, you asked for another kiss, just to see if it was a fluke. just to see what he’d do, to test if his cold walls would melt. and they did. oh, they did.

he didn’t just kiss you. he pulled you close, his lips pressing against yours with an intensity that had you gasping into his mouth. his hands, usually so precise and controlled in the studio, roamed over your body with an urgency that made your skin tingle.

“you like spoiling me, don’t you?” he murmured against your lips, his voice low and gravelly. before you could respond, one of his hands slipped under your skirt, fingers brushing against your already wet panties. “i should thank you properly.”

he moved you back until you hit the edge of the desk, his hands steadying you as he pulled you up, your legs wrapping around his waist instinctively. he kissed you deeper, harder, and you could feel the desire rolling off him in waves.

“jihoon—” you started, but your words were cut off as he slid one finger inside you, his touch skilled, confident, like he knew exactly what he was doing.

“fuck, you’re so wet,” he whispered, his breath hot against your ear as he added another finger, stretching you, his thumb brushing over your clit with just enough pressure to make you arch into him.

you didn’t even care about the office door or the fact that anyone could walk in. all you could focus on was him—his fingers working you over, bringing you right to the edge. he leaned in, kissing along your neck, your pulse quickening under his lips as he whispered, “let me take care of you, yeah?”

you nodded, unable to find your voice as he continued to finger you, the pleasure building until it was almost unbearable. his free hand gripped your hip, holding you steady as you rocked against him, chasing the release that was so close you could taste it.

“jihoon, please,” you gasped, your hands fisting in his shirt, pulling him closer, needing more, needing him.

with one last kiss, he pulled his fingers out, and you whimpered at the loss, but he was already undoing his pants, his eyes locked on yours. “jump up,” he ordered, his voice rough, full of need.

you didn’t hesitate, letting him guide you as you jumped, your legs wrapping around him again as he positioned himself. he didn’t tease, didn’t make you wait. he pushed inside you with one smooth thrust, filling you completely, and the sensation made you both groan.

his hands were firm on your hips, holding you steady as he started to move, his pace hard and fast, like he couldn’t get enough. each thrust sent a shock of pleasure through you, and you clung to him, nails digging into his back, moaning his name like a prayer.

“fuck, you feel so good,” he growled, his breath hot against your ear as he drove into you, each thrust hitting that perfect spot that had you seeing stars.

“jihoon,” you whimpered, your voice high and needy, and he groaned in response, his pace quickening, his grip on you tightening as he chased his own release.

he was relentless, his hips moving in that perfect rhythm, his cock sliding in and out of you with an assertiveness that left you breathless. you could feel yourself unraveling, the pleasure building until you were right on the edge, teetering, ready to falll.

“come for me,” he whispered, his voice rough, and that was all it took. with one final thrust, you shattered, your orgasm crashing over you, leaving you trembling in his arms, your cries muffled against his neck.

jihoon followed right after, his grip on you almost bruising as he came, buried deep inside you, his head dropping to your shoulder, his breath ragged and uneven.

he pulled back just enough to look at you, a small smile playing on his lips. “maybe we should do this more often.”

so often, so fucking often, that you couldn’t tell anymore if it was a habit or something more—an obsession, maybe. your office and his studio, the places where this all started, now felt too tame, too boring to fuck in. jihoon had to be more creative, and so did you.

jihoon made sure to fuck you in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows of whatever high-rise hotel you were staying in, the city lights sprawling out beneath you as he thrust into you from behind. the last time, some guest from the hotel across the way didn’t appreciate the show, but honestly? you couldn’t have cared less. not with the way jihoon’s hands gripped your hips, his breath hot on your neck, your moans muffled against the glass.

at every award show, he always made sure to dedicate his success to you first. you, who after a long day of work, would head to his studio, where he’d be waiting. there, he’d produce tracks with one hand on the mouse and the other busy finger-fucking you, fast and relentless, as you sat on his lap, struggling to stay composed.

it became a tradition for the two of you to explore sex shops in different countries. you’d pick out new types of condoms, wild flavors, and textures neither of you had seen before. aphrodisiac potions that had the two of you almost ripping each other apart, desperate to feel more, to push further. there were always those little surprises, like thai sex toys that were so intense you couldn’t even look at them without feeling your knees go weak. jihoon loved trying out new things with you, always pushing the boundaries, always finding new ways to make you both lose control.

and you pampered him, oh, how you loved to spoil him. designer clothes, always checking that they wouldn’t irritate his sensitive skin. you introduced him to new experiences all around the world, things he never even knew he wanted until you made it happen. and when you moved his family to a better house, just down the street from where the two of you lived, it felt like you were finally giving him everything he deserved.

you’d met his family a couple of times—sweet people who clearly adored him, and you, by extension. but on the third visit, something changed.

maybe it was the way his mother beamed at you, or the way his father patted your back with such warmth. or maybe it was just the way jihoon looked at you, like you hung the stars just for him. you didn’t even think, you just knew you had to ask.

“will you marry me?”

for a second, everything was silent. jihoon froze, the piece of kimchi still hanging halfway to his mouth. you saw the color drain from his face, his eyes widening like you just told him aliens had landed in the backyard.

“y-you—what?”

you wondered if you’d broken him. then, his knees buckled, and before anyone could react, he was on the floor, out cold.

“jihoon!”

his family already there, fanning him with whatever they could find, pouring water into his mouth like he was a dehydrated athlete at halftime.

“jihoon, wake up!” his mother shouted, disbelief in her voice. “this is not the time to faint!”

“somebody get him water!” his dad shouted, even though he was already holding the glass right in front of jihoon’s face.

“what did you do to him?!” his cousin accused, though you could see the slight amusement in her eyes.

“i just asked him to marry me!” you defended.

jihoon’s father just laughed, shaking his head. “i knew this would happen.”

finally, after what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few seconds, jihoon’s eyes fluttered open. he looked around at all the concerned faces, then up at you.

“i’m marrying you!” jihoon suddenly gasped, sitting up so quickly that you nearly toppled over. his eyes were wide, pure joy. “yes, i’ll marry you!”

i genuinely dont have anything to say than beautiful. this is so beautiful and narrated so so fucking well and god.

noah, i love you <3

moon song || ljh

warnings: post breakup au. ex idol!reader. reader has an implied suicide attempt(s) in the past. reader is implied to do something akin to relapsing at the end of the fic. ed talk. lots of pressure that comes w being an idol. clubs. drinking. seungcheol hates y/n for leaving. leaving the idol industry behind. seeing your ex after four years. hurt w very little comfort. right person, wrong time.

word count: 4.2k

a/n: vent piece mostly. abt my frustration of still being sick, abt my frustration of not seeming to get better, abt how it never seems to stop. abt all of my wasted potential as a person. all of it, none of it, everything and nothing at all. i am so tired.

please read with caution. this is just a lot of emotions all in one place.

The loud bass that hits your head as soon as you enter the club makes your head pound immediately. It’s been four long years since you’ve even been in this part of Seoul, let alone been in a club with this group of ex-colleagues.

Ex-colleagues is certainly one way to put it. They were all so much more, and you know that this is just an excuse for all of them to get drunk. You wonder briefly if Jihoon’s here. He never used to drink, but then again, he didn’t do a lot of things until you were in the picture. You wonder how much has changed now that you’re not.

The memory of him burns like a hot iron branding your back, and you head to the nearest table of refreshments to grab a drink. If he’s here, you’ll need all the alcohol you can get your hands on. Maybe that makes you no better than anyone else; no better than the scene you so desperately needed to leave four years ago. It doesn’t matter anymore.

You’re no longer apart of it. What you do now won’t cost you your career. If the night ends with you passed out in an alley way simply because you saw your ex at an album release party for an album he produced, so be it. He never comes to these things anyways.

At least, he didn’t when you knew him. You haven’t known Jihoon for a long time. It’s been four years after all; a lot can change in a week, let alone four years.

Like your decision to leave the K-pop industry. You had mulled over it for weeks, before you brought it up to anyone, and you didn’t go to Jihoon first. He was the last person you told. At least, officially, that you were leaving.

All those years of work as a trainee, just for it to be nothing. All of the tears, the angry screams into your pillow, the poverty your company forced you into in the first few years of your career because it was boarding on bankruptcy. All of this wasted potential. Maybe you could’ve been someone great.

You were, for a few years. Your group took off, and the first few years of success made all of the hard work feel like it was worth something. But as the saying goes, too much of a good thing won’t be good for long.

The pressure started to build, and it built until it boiled over and you were found on the verge of doing something terrible in your bathroom by your boyfriend and your manager after a week of unusual silence. Jihoon never was a crier, but god did he sob as he held you in the back of the ambulance. He had never begged for anything the way he begged for you to talk to him.

Please, god, please talk to me Y/N. Please, baby. I can’t— I can’t lose you.

It’s funny, really, how things work out. You dug yourself so deep into this hole of despair from the pressure of being an idol, that the only way out of it was to completely separate yourself from that life and start over.

After terminating your contract, you broke up with Jihoon. Or, you didn’t break up with him, only told him that you needed to take a break while you sorted yourself out. After being on a break for four years, is it still just a break? Or are you broken up at that point?

Both you and Jihoon know the answer to that.

Three years of no social media, no articles about you, none of your old friends reaching out to check in on you because they held a contractual obligation to be nice to you in the hallways. Three and a half years out of the spotlight. Three and a half years of peace, of healing, of sorting your life out and learning how to breathe again.

It’s been four years without Jihoon, and you didn’t really think much about the consequences that potentially sharing a space with him would have. But now they’re suffocating. All you can think about is the potential possibility of him being here, which, he wouldn’t be, right? He hates these kinds of gatherings. He used to skip his own release parties to watch shitty romance movies with you on the couch in his studio.

Does he have someone new to watch romance movies with? Or has he given up romance altogether? You know from the first few months, updates provided by Soonyoung, that he didn’t take the distance very well. You know that he missed you, and he worried about you constantly. You know you’re spiralling, and you know all those years of therapy will be for nothing if you don’t pull yourself out of it.

You don’t have to do that, because Seungkwan does it for you. “Y/N? You came!” He seems elated that you’re here, off his rocker, probably drunk.

“Of course I came! It’s your first album as BSS, Seungkwan.” You smile, and it’s not forced at all. You have completely forgotten how easy it is to fall into banter with Seungkwan. It’s almost like you never left in the first place.

Except something in his eyes seems off. That’s your first red flag to turn around and get the fuck out of this club, but you don’t. “My god. It’s been so long. How are you doing?” With anyone else, the small talk would’ve taken you out back and killed you. It’s different with Seungkwan.

Different how? He was one of the only people who consistently checked in on you when you first left. As you settled into your new life, the texts became less frequent; now, four years later they’re hardly anything to notice, but he’ll still send you a text on every holiday, and he’s wished you happy birthday every year since you met him.

“I’m doing a lot better. I’m… I’m good.” You laugh softly. Seungkwan smiles at you.

“That’s good. I’ve missed having you around— of course I don’t expect you to come back into this scene, but it would be nice to see you sometime.” Seungkwan squeezes your shoulder softly and smiles wider.

“Yeah, of course. I know I’ve been gone, but I’ll make it less hard to get a hold of me. I’ve missed all of you, truth be told.” You smile back. “I’ve just… been doing a lot of healing and I think it’s about time I finally start reconnecting with people. Is everyone here?” You ask.

“Oh, yeah. We’re all here! I kind of spilled that I invited you so everyone decided to come just in case you showed up.” The depth of all doesn’t really seem to cross Seungkwan’s mind; he’s certainly not thinking about Jihoon right now, or Seungcheol for that matter. You’re pretty sure Seungcheol would punch you if he caught sight of you. Maybe Jihoon would too. You have no idea how Jihoon even feels about you.

“Even, uh, Jihoon?” The smile falls from Seungkwan’s face.

“Oh. Yeah. He’s here too.” Seungkwan swallows when he sees your face shift. “You… he-he wants to talk to you. It’s not my place to really say, but he’s not mad. I think he just wants closure.”

So maybe Jihoon wouldn’t punch you. That’s a bit of a relief.

“Oh my god! Y/N! You came!” It’s Seokmin, very clearly drunk. You didn’t keep in contact with him, though he did send you a few paragraphs over text as he wished you all the best, telling you to reach out if you ever needed anything. You didn’t take him up on the offer.

“I did!” You smile, tilting your head as you look up at Seokmin.

“Can I have a hug?” He’s already opening his arms and you slide right into them. His hug is firm and warm. You’ve missed Seokmin a lot more than you cared to admit. Seungkwan grumbles about how he should’ve asked for a hug and you laugh, pulling him into one.

You catch up with Seokmin briefly before he’s being pulled away by someone you don’t know. You stick with Seungkwan, talking about your life, the album, avoiding the subject of Jihoon.

And then you turn your head at the bright sound of laughter, and you see him. You see him, and he’s not the same mess he was when you left him with no promise of when you’d see each other next. He’s not the scared man in his early twenties who had no idea if you were going to die on him. He’s not the man who stayed with you in the hospital for days on end.

He’s not the producer you knew who’d slide his headphones over your ears as he pulled you into his lap. He’s not the warm hand that held yours because you forgot your gloves again. He’s not the hushed giggles at four in the morning, or the hurried kisses, or the soft whimpers and praises as you tangled yourselves in his bedsheets.

Jihoon isn’t yours anymore.

You had hoped he wouldn’t be such a sore subject for you anymore, but seeing him in all of his glory four years later… god does it fucking hurt. You’ve done a lot of healing in the last four years, but in that time you never really had the time to process the loss of Jihoon.

Soonyoung spots you, and that’s when you know you’re doomed, because if Soonyoung is distracted, Jihoon always notices the thing that catches him off guard. You try to pull your eyes away from Jihoon, but you can’t. You swear he’s gotten more beautiful in the last four years.

He’s gotten bigger, physically— far more muscular. You can see the curve of his pecks through his shirt, one that isn’t even tight against his body. Jihoon’s always been a big fitness buff, but it appears he’s put more effort into himself. His biceps strain against the fitted sleeves of his long sleeve black shirt.

Jihoon’s face looks different too. He still has the same round cheeks you used to always pinch and prod at. His jawline is still soft, but it’s more defined. His eyes are bright, and the bags under them are still there. You wonder briefly if he’s ever gotten rid of them; if the skin under his eyes has ever matched the rest of his milky complexion.

His hair is longer than you’ve ever seen it. Dark and flowy, it’s reflective and healthy, half tied up with what would be his undercut hanging freely. A few pieces frame his face. It looks soft and healthy. Jihoon looks soft and healthy.

He’s smiling as he scans the crowd to find what Soonyoung is distracted by, and then he spots you. The smile is wiped off of Jihoon’s face faster than your brain can even register it. Seungkwan stiffens beside you, hand finding your shoulder to steady you as you stumble briefly, but the pull between you and Jihoon is too much.

Both of you start moving towards each other, pushing your way through the crowd. “Y/N.” His voice comes out in a breath, chest heaving and then he’s there, right in front of you, after four years.

You don’t know what to say, can’t process the fact that he’s in front of you, as beautiful as ever. “Jihoon,” you echo, “hi.” You can’t help the small smile that threatens to pull at your lips. The tension on Jihoon’s face eases, but he doesn’t smile back.

“Hi. How are you doing?” Jihoon asks, and if it was anyone else, it would’ve been a sad attempt at small talk. It’s Jihoon, so you know he’s asking how you’re doing now, if you’re better. A part of him is asking if you still feel like killing yourself. The answer to the last part is no.

“I’m… better. A lot better.” You laugh awkwardly. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t doing okay.” Now, Jihoon actually does smile at you, and though it’s small, it’s still there.

“You look a lot better. Healthier. I’m glad.” Jihoon takes a sip of his drink as he looks down at you. He’s right; you’re much healthier now. There’s solid meat on your bones, your thighs touch and your ribs don’t show anymore. Your face has filled out, cheeks full and round. Your eyes don’t look as though they’re sunken into your skull, they’re brighter now; they seem to shine with life in a way they never have before.

Jihoon takes you in properly, and god, you’ve gotten so much more beautiful since the last time he saw you. It hurts. It hurts a lot to see how good you look now, without him. He knows it’s a lot more complicated than that, but it still hurts nonetheless.

You look healthy, like an actual person and not a skeleton, and you were never that way when you were an idol. You were never like that when you were with Jihoon.

“Oh, um, thank you. Should we… should we sit? We have a lot to talk about.” You laugh again to hide your nerves. Jihoon can still read you, and he knows you’re brimming with nerves. He knows you’re a little scared, probably more than a little, and he is too.

You’ve never breached the subject, hardly even talked about your breakup. Jihoon doesn’t like to think about it. He just doesn’t. He doesn’t like to think about how much worse you were doing, even if it destroyed him. The breakup was harder on you, tenfold, and you went through it alone.

“I- uh. Yeah, yeah, we can go sit. It’s probably about time we talk.” Jihoon laughs nervously, closing his eyes for a second. He wordlessly starts walking towards the vacant booths of the club. You follow close behind.

Jihoon sits down, and you take a seat across from him. It’s silent for a few moments. Both of you are staring at your cups, not drinking, just swirling your liquids of choice.

Jihoon speaks first, but he can’t look at you. “Why’d you have to leave me?” He asks, and his voice breaks softly as he says it. You certainly weren’t expecting that as the first question he asked, but you don’t really know what else he would’ve asked.

“I… I had to leave everything that had to do with being an idol behind. You… you included.” It’s a shitty answer, but you can’t think in Jihoon’s presence.

“I understand that, but I would’ve been there for you. I would’ve helped you get help. You didn’t have to do it by yourself, Y/N. I loved you; I would’ve done anything to make sure you were safe.” Jihoon’s bites at his lip, eyes sparkling in the low lights of the club. He looks like he’s about to cry, and god does it break your heart.

He loved you, past tense. It’s jarring. It stings, but what else did you expect? For him to still want you? That’s unrealistic and completely unfair to expect from him.

It hits you then that you might still be in love with him. That makes this next part so much harder.

“I know. I know, but it made sense to me at the time. I can’t- I can’t rationalize anything that I did at that time in my life. None of it makes sense, but I made a lot of choices that I regret and I can’t go back on them now. It’s too late for that and I’m- I’m so sorry for everything I put you through, Jihoon. All of it; everything, god, I’m so sorry.” You spill, and the soft burn in the back of your throat makes it hard to speak as you try not to cry. “You didn’t deserve to deal with any of it.” You whisper softly.

“Y/N,” Jihoon whispers back, “I forgave you a long time ago. I just want closure.” Closure. Jihoon wants closure, meaning he wants to move on. The tears in his eyes shine brightly, though they don’t fall, but he’s crying nonetheless, and that makes you feel worse.

“I don’t deserve that though. I don’t deserve to be forgiven for just leaving you. Seungcheol still hasn’t forgiven me; why the hell would you?” You swallow hard, and that seems to break the dam as the first few tears slip down your cheeks.

“Seungcheol has his own issues. We never told him the full story, and maybe that’s why he’s still… iffy about the whole thing. But I forgive you. I just, I want to stop hiding from you. I don’t want to be worried about running into you somewhere and not knowing what to say. I still care about you, so much, and, god does it fucking kill me to still worry about you when you’ve never made an effort to reach out to me.” Jihoon’s always been blunt, so you should’ve expected this, but it makes you feel worse; guilty. “I would’ve answered your calls, in a heartbeat. You know I would’ve.” Jihoon blinks, and the first few tears fall down his face.

“I couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to call you after so long. I spent six months in and out of the hospital, and after that I had to get back on my feet. By the time I even had time to think about calling you, it’d been a year, and to me that was too late.” You close your eyes and exhale deeply, fingers twitching.

Jihoon used to hold your hands when you were upset to stop them from twitching so much. He used to pull your head close to his chest and wipe your tears with the pads of his thumbs. He makes no effort to do so now. Jihoon can’t even look at you properly.

He’s focused on picking at the calluses on his palms. Some things never change.

“You- six months? Y/N, fuck, I had no idea. I knew it was bad but, shit, really?” Jihoon’s voice breaks fully, and all you can do is nod. “How many more times? How many times did you—?” He can’t finish his sentence. His throat closes up.

“Four.” Jihoon has nothing to say in reply. He can’t, not with the deep hurt that settles in his chest, so you elaborate. “I really just wanted to die. The media was on my ass for the first year and it was just bad. I spent the next year after that in a rehabilitation program to fix my relationship with food and it helped a lot. I found a good therapist and I’m still seeing her. It’s helped a lot. I’m- I’m clean.” You pick up your cup, hand shaking, and take a large drink to calm your nerves.

“I’m really glad that you’re healthy now. Really, god, that’s such a relief.” Jihoon’s tears are steady now. He wipes at them with his sleeve. You mutter a soft thank you.

Outside of the booth, the noise has been blocked out by your conversation, but you hear something peculiar. It’s Seungcheol, his voice is loud and booming. He’s angry.

“What the fuck are they doing here?! Seriously, why did you even invite them?” Both you and Jihoon look up at the same time to see Joshua and Mingyu trying to deescalate the situation. Seungkwan is yelling back, face red as he tries to block Seungcheol’s view of the booth you and Jihoon are sat in.

“No, I’ve fucking had it with all of you. Defending them for just fucking leaving Jihoon without a word. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you bring them here?” Seungcheol is drunk and looking for a confrontation with you, and that’s enough of a threat to have you and Jihoon standing as he tries to usher you out of the club without Seungcheol seeing.

“Fuck, you should probably go.” Jihoon pulls you close to him, shielding you from Seungcheol’s view. You nod, walking fast beside him as you push your way through the crowd.

“Yah! You, get the fuck back here!” Neither of you listen as you push your way out of the door. You make the mistake of looking behind you to see Joshua and Mingyu physically holding Seungcheol back. Wonwoo is there now too, standing in front of him to prevent him from walking.

The outside air is cold and bitter. You shiver as you pull out your phone to order a ride. You and Jihoon are completely silent. He’s standing so close to you that you can feel his body heat radiating off onto you.

“I’ll wait with you. How long?” He asks, voice shaky.

“Two minutes.” You only have two minutes left with Jihoon. It’s so finite, the time you’re spending with him. If only you had more time.

You’re not afforded that luxury as you shiver beside him. “Can I- is it okay if I—?” You nod, unsure of what he’s asking. It’s a yes either way. Jihoon pulls you into his arms in a tight, warm hug. His hands don’t find their way into your hair, or rub your back. He just holds you. It’s all he can do.

Both of you ignore the mutual swell of warmth in your chests. You’re still in love with him, you know that, and that’s why the car seems to show up in no time. Your phone chimes as the car pulls up in front of the club as you reluctantly start to separate yourselves.

There’s so much you didn’t get to talk about. You tell him so. “We, fuck, I had so much more to say. I had so much more to explain. You, god, you were the right person, Jihoon. Everything else was just so wrong.” You thought the weight would’ve been lifted off your chest, but it only hurts more. You close your eyes as you turn away.

“Y/N, fuck, don’t do this to me right now.” Jihoon whispers, eyes filling with tears once again.

“I’m sorry Jihoon. I love you. I’ll see you around.” You open the door to the car.

“I, yeah. Take care of yourself.” Jihoon can’t look at you, no way in hell can he look at you as you close the door and drive off. He stands still in the cold, watching as the car disappears from his sight. He leans against the wall, head falling back as the tears start pouring freely.

As he pushes the door to the club open, it hits him hard, fills his whole body as a bone deep love for you settles. And it hurts, god does it hurt. Seungcheol’s calmed down, but the snide remark that slips past his lip doesn’t even register in Jihoon’s brain. All Jihoon recognizes is his tone, and that’s enough.

“I’ll punch you right in your fucking mouth, Seungcheol, I swear to god. Shut the fuck up.” Jihoon hardly ever makes threats, but when he does it has everyone going quiet. Seungcheol, Joshua and Mingyu stop in their tracks. There’s been enough drama for one night.

Jihoon grabs a new drink and chugs it, before he goes to grab his coat. He needs to get out of here before the sob building in his throat bursts.

You manage to keep your tears at bay until you enter your apartment. You find yourself in the bathroom, against the cold tile and the porcelain of the bathtub. You don’t do anything, just sit there and breathe as the tears flow freely.

It wasn’t supposed to end like that. You were supposed to have more time to reconcile with Jihoon. You and bathrooms have seen a lot of hurt. Most of your bad decisions are made in bathrooms. You don’t do anything, you just sit there for a few minutes as you cry.

Nothing happens the next night. Or the night after. A week after the release party, Jihoon still plagues your mind and that’s when you crack. Your old manager turned friend answers the phone.

“Hi. You okay?” Yena asks softly, voice ridden with sleep.

“Drive me to the hospital? I think I need stitches.” You laugh nervously. The adrenaline has worn off and all you feel is regret.

“Y/N.” She sighs, but it’s not disappointment. She’s seen a lot of things with you, and supported you through all of them. You’re the reason she quit being a manager and went back to university. You made her realize the idol life isn’t as glamorous as it seems, and you’ve formed a very solid friendship over the past five years. “You know they’re gonna keep you for a few days, right?”

“Yeah. I know. It was impulsive. Like, I’m fine now. I just couldn’t stop thinking.” You sigh.

“Give me a few minutes and I’ll be on the way. Cold water and pressure until I get there, yeah?” You laugh softly.

“Already on it.” The call disconnects soon after, and you look up at the mirror. Briefly, you imagine Jihoon standing behind you in a much different situation than the one you’re in now.

His thick arms are wrapped around your waist, head leaning against yours. He’s smiling in your vision. You smile softly in your reflection, though it’s strained. The blood on your hands pulls you out of it.

a/n: i wrote this when i was going through it. i’m fine now but i seriously can’t do angst like i used to so i might write a part two or something where they end up back together.