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Tav: “good cat/bad cat of the tenday” where they rate how morally corrupt each companion has acted over each tenday of their journey. Good cat is almost always given to Wyll and Karlach. Astarion has at least one ‘bad cat: he bit me real hard’ and Gale, Shadowheart, Astarion and Lae’zel all have a ‘bad cat: they tried to ascend to godhood’
Redeemed Durge: “what I think my friends bodies would taste like and why I choose NOT to eat them” has the quote from the owl bear about not eating them cause they’re friends with a drawing of the owl bear with a little arrow that says ‘me’. Each slide is a companion and all the reasons durge likes them. Is actually kinda sweet if you ignore the ‘my urge tells me to eat you all’ bit.
Evil durge: “why cannibalism is actually really cool and I should be allowed at least one killing of innocents a day.” It’s just unhinged rambling about eating people and killing. Some stickfigure art of dead bodies with crossed out eyes with lots of blood and guts and a smiling stickfigure durge.
Anyway, here are my thoughts about what each of the companions would present on if they had to give the rest of the party a PowerPoint presentation:
Gale: A completely accurate and detailed lecture regarding the theories of teleportation magic, how it works, and the differences between it and plane shift. There are multiple charts and graphs.
Wyll: “Choosing your hero name: an adventurer’s guide” He does have suggestions for the entire party.
Karlach: “Ranking bars in the gate based on how much they remind me of Avernus.” She has provided illustrations that she made herself. Anything in the Upper City is ranked “like Avernus” because “occupied entirely by pricks.”
Shadowheart: “So I was wrong about Shar: a reluctant apology.” It’s mostly a debunk of Shar’s lies but the entire time it does look like she is pulling teeth. However, she cheers up considerably when she presents on some of the church’s secrets, including the weird ass code names for things that she always thought were a little silly.
Lae’zel: a very educational and complete history of her people’s war against the mind flayers. It’s all rather academic until the last slide which says “AND THIS IS WHY WE DON’T EAT THE WORMS” in all caps.
Astarion: “Ranking you by whose blood I’d want to drink most.” In order, it is as follows Gale (rancid), Karlach (spicy), Minthara (probably is poisonous after all the poison she’s been exposed to), Jaheria (that story about what she did to one of the spawn was memorable), Shadowheart (does cleric blood taste radiant?), Lae’zel (curious how Gith taste, doesn’t want to die), Minsc (large and has extra blood to spare), Halsin (can turn into a bear, think of all that real estate), Wyll (canon verified snack)
Halsin: “Foraging: what’s edible and what isn’t” Gale takes very dutiful notes given someone gave him a mushroom two ten days ago that gave the entire camp food poisoning. Astarion, the only one who did not get food poisoning, who has completely forgotten what he foraged was the culprit, takes 0 notes.
Minthara: Battle orders and tactics. All of these fools need to get whipped into shape.
Jaheria: “Get it Fucking Together: Stop Doing this Shit.” What follows is a callout of everyone’s worst habits and decisions. One slide just says “stop snitching.”
Minsc: it’s just pictures of Boo.