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I'm the main character but inspired by a series of unfortunate events

Exactly. I love a good deep dive into fan fiction. 🥰🫶🏻

there’s absolutely nothing better than reading a 100k word fanfic, that is until you remember you have a body that is starving, thirsty and incredibly sleep deprived and hasn’t used the bathroom since the sun set 8 hours ago

There are three kinds of radiation: alpha, gamma, beta

[TEASER]

Chapter One: words existed (but yours broke my heart)

(available on Ao3, find on thenightsoftingles)

Genre: Angst, Slow burn, Unrequited Love, Misscommunication.

Pairing: 2min.

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i. It's stupid now— come on.

Minho Hyung hums, sitting across from Hyunjin who was eyeing Jisung wildly. Concerned, if Seungmin is to correct himself.

Probably stupid.

But wasn't he?

It was the look of Minho Hyung that cracked him.

Fond, soft─ concerned when Jisung huffed and coughed a little, and Minho Hyung, ever the caring hyung, pushed the glass of water in front of him.

Like Seungmin did. Blindly to his heart. The to and fro stopped when they agreed not to play anymore.

Seungmin reassures himself again that he wasn't jealous of Jisung, but jealous of himself to be so stupid to think that he was jealous of Jisung.

"You did not!" Jisung gasps dramatically.

Ah, turns out Minho Hyung bought Jisung cheesecake, too.

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ii. Felix takes a deep breath in between his speech, eyes closing when Seungmin gently towels the clean and wet dishes.

Minho Hyung doesn't like half-job done. He owns the kitchen of the cuties' dorm, rhetorically.

"All I say is, come with me and Innie to this brand new, cute cafe and-"

"You should go."

"What?"

"You should go with Innie."

Resilient. That is what his heart is. Like a stupid, possessive organ whose only function is to pump blood.

The noise of thump thump thump hurts his ears with guilt when Felix's smile falters. It falters, then it falls.

Être fleur bleue.

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iii. "I know that you hate the skin. I peeled it. You will eat them when you feel like eating." No, it was not a demand, but closer to a command.

Seungmin is picky and does not get his hoard without whining, at the very least to a cat with claws. And this?

His ocean is no longer getting pulled or pushed, it's thrown upside down by this moon.

What are you doing to me, Hyung?

Seungmin sits there still, the plate of Apples is still untouched, now covered with another plate.

The ocean flip-flops. It squeezes behind his chest, trying to be free.

Calm down you pot, Seungmin hisses to his heart silently.

He thinks what it'd be like to be Minho Hyung's favourite.

Avoir un cœur d’artichaut.

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iv. Seungmin lets himself breathe in and out.

He lets himself be pushed in the careful bursting biceps of a muscle-bound, big sweetheart.

He lets his hyung nuzzle closer to him.

It takes him time to answer, and Changbin waits. Like he always does.

And Seungmin, ever the coward, replies what could be a half lie, "As if I will be anything but fine."

No, Seungmin supplements to his Porcelain pot. Changbin cannot fill that space.

Even if he tries to. Even if Seungmin is to try and think about something other than the cold, freezing water.

The water body that he is finally getting used to.

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v. As if conversationally, he reaches for more skewered meat and when he realizes that the plates are empty, he rises immediately.

Purchasing his time.

"The only one who is botherful," Minho says through the died-down laughter, picking up more meat from the kitchen station, "is you, Kim Seungmin."

He finishes and Seungmin hears something shattering.

When Minho doesn't get another snarky reply from Seungmin, he turns around and sees him standing near the kitchen.

The words are made to hurt when it is required to. But your words... they hurt the most.

Seungmin's lips are drawn in a thin line, and when he speaks, it quivers. "You know, Hyung", he takes a ragged breath to stop shaking, "You can just say that you hate me."

It's quiet. It's too quiet.

The shattering continues. Each piece of the Porcelain pot continues to fall into the black void, back to the burning pit of fire, making such a loud noise that Seungmin's ears ring.

Or: Seungmin and Minho share a Porcelain pot. Once it breaks, everything shatters between them.

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words existed

(but yours broke my heart)

I wrote this poem a while back. Thinking of including this in the next chap- what do you guys think?

A little spoiler of Chapter 2. Enjoy!

.𖥔 ݁ ˖𓆜 𓆝 𓆞 𓆟‧₊˚ ☽ ⋅

"It ends here, as it starts.

The story of my heart, listen intently:

The shore, that waves at me sometimes,

and the sandy breeze

that welcomes me home

at some nights.

I lay in the night to uncover it,

and the water, the water

touches the vessel (me), it's familiar with.

It unknots and unfolds,

And the water– the water runs as it was,

Ever hot, as it's equally cold.

My Porcelain pot, careful— it's delicate, I had told him.

Between the to and fro,

and there—

he was reckless, and I lost it!

Now the tears, Oh, the tears wash the ocean floor,

the flora and fauna that flourishes

beneath the warm shore.

I cry; and the ocean blooms,

Oh, how fascinating it once was.

The seagull that squeaks

the thunder that clears up the blue sky

And breathe, my darling

Because it was talking by

The vessel knows the strange language

It's the ba-dum now, it's the Thump then.

Strange, it seems,

making me naïve, sensitive, and weak.

I look at him,

and then, my Porcelain pot

It turns green.

Violent and angry,

Jealous and lonely,

Burning love and Greed,

it demands to be sorted,

And so, I refuse to.

Then, it shatters,

Turning back to the ever-black void

again, just as it was

unknown origin, utterly bland.

My Porcelain pot descends.

It started there, as it ends."