Lucidrims - Tumblr Posts

"...so?"

Doyun didn't know what to expect; whether they would be happy or angry to see her. She stood there, grinning, and holding a little bag in her hands that was meant to be a present to them.

"Aren't you going to say hi?"

@lucidrims // starter from Doyun

"Well...I figured that I was around the area, and I hadn't seen you in a while. And I also watched your last video and thought you might need this?" Doyun held up her bag. It held some sunscreen, a nice brand, to protect his skin whenever he was delivering.

"It's what I use. It feels light and makes your skin shine better on the camera." But really, what was she doing there? She'd never been ghosted before and it sort of sat wrong with her, despite that she wanted to respect his feelings and not try to force anything that didn't seem to develop naturally. "So...here." She held out the bag for him, wondering if she was always this awkward around old dates.

            wonjoo had to admit that her presence did catch him by surprise. he wasn't expecting to see her at his doorstep that day - so much so that he had to blink his eyes repeatedly just to see if he was seeing things correctly. " i - noona, " with his mouth agape, he tilts his head to the side, " what are you doing here ? " they haven't seen each other in months, and the guilty feelings were bubbling from within knowing that he had ghosted her since the last time they went out.

It was awkward. Painfully. Doyun peeked at the open door and wondered if she should pretend she had things to do, or accept the offer. He as probably just being polite since she'd taken the time to stop by -- really, she wasn't expecting them to start back up again.

"Okay." Putting on her smile, Doyun steps inside his apartment and peeks around as if she hadn't been there before. She didn't take any more steps in since she was now invited it as a stranger, not a girl he had been seeing. When really, all she wanted to know was why the communication had suddenly stopped. If she'd done something that upset him that caused the lapse in their meetings, or if he'd found someone else. Not that it mattered -- but to her, it did. "Coffee this late in the afternoon?"

            it wasn't like wonjoo decided to ghost her because of anything she's shown to him in the amount of time they've known each other. if anything, it had just been a couple of crazy months for him and his father constantly telling him he needed to help out more on the corporate side of the company instead of delivering boxes. that, and the guilt of him not telling her the truth about his real identity was eating at him.

even so, he appreciated the gesture, even bowing his head once as he takes the bag from her, listening attentively, " oh, damn, you really didn't have to. but thank you noona, i appreciate this . . and you. i will use it well. " he answers, clearing his throat and feeling the awkward air envelop them, " do you . . do you want to come in ? i was just about to make coffee. " he inquires, stepping aside and holding his apartment door open for her.

"Tea would be nice, thank you." Doyun left her shoes neatly by the front door, looking down at the hand lightly grasping her wrist then back at Wonjoo as he led her further inside. She didn't want to admit to herself that the touch was gentle enough for her to make her heart ache.

She'd really liked him. To hear nothing back from him after a few lovely dates and late nights that had her opening up to him left her feeling confused -- and that wasn't like her to be so perplexed by a situationship. "A later shift will be good for your views. My streams usually do better during the mornings when it's bright outside -- of course, we do two totally different types of videos." Her palm instinctively closed around his arm.

            to him, it wasn't a burden - her being there in his apartment. if anything, he was the one feeling embarrassed after going mute on her the past couple of months. allowing her to step further in, he even slides a pair of unused house slippers for her to use. a lopsided grin forming on his face then, " yeah, well, i uh - have a shift later on tonight. they're having me do a later shift. " and there it was again, the guilt bubbling in his system, knowing that he wasn't going into work to deliver but to attend a board meeting.

" do you not want any ? what about some tea ? " grabbing her lightly by the wrist to lead her further in, sensing that apprehension from her side to enter his apartment. " i do have some decaffeinated stuff, i think. no promises, though. i'm a big caffeine lover, as you know. " he comments, leading the way towards the small kitchen in his apartment.

Doyun set her purse on the table in front of her, watching as Wonjoo started to heat the water for her tea and trying to keep a polite smile. He seemed so tense; maybe she shouldn't have come after all, but it still kept bothering her.

"Nothing more," she said, thinking over the content she'd been posting and the streams that kept her income flowing. All of it was, thankfully in this industry, steady. "Um. I guess..." May as well say it. Doyun wasn't exactly introverted. "I guess I'm wondering why...things stopped between us," she finally said. Her tone was gentle and nonconfrontational, really just wanting an answer and showing that she'd respect it whatever he chose to say. "I thought things were good between us. I'm so sorry to show up here unexpectedly, I know I should have called first. But it's been bothering me for so long I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Wonjoo, do you -- did you not like me? If you didn't that's fine, i just..." Thought you weren't the type of guy to ghost girls.

            " i suppose you're right, it makes for good content. " continuing on with his charade about his double life. he had to admit that he had been feeling the vacancy that doyun has left, much as he tried to fight it. as much as wonjoo still hadn't gotten around to thinking about what to do or what to say to her, one thing was for sure, he knew he wanted to set the record straight one day. after all, not only was she beautiful on the outside, the kindness she's shown him did not go unnoticed, and it was one of the things that drew him to her.

" oh right, tea it is. " he replies, pulling one of the bar stools in front of his kitchen counter for her to get comfortable in. with a switch of a button, wonjoo started his electric kettle for both their drinks. there was a momentary period of awkward silence, but he takes it upon himself to speak up, " so uh, noona, what have you been up to ? "

It's not you, it's me, or at least that's how it started to Doyun was waiting to hear an excuse. She didn't want an excuse, she wanted honestly, and his words themselves weren't believable, but the emotion he put in to his words and his ragged breaths sold it.

"Wonjoo..." Doyun reached out and held his hand. She didn't mean it as a romantic gesture, but more so as someone just trying to offer their support. "If you were having these problems, if you had just told me I would have given you space. Or help, if that's what you had wanted..." It's not like they had been dating that long, but enough to where Doyun thought she was special enough to want to help. "I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. It must not have been easy for you. I hope things were able to fix themselves out."

            he supposes then that the time was now - when it came to them having a serious conversation on what happened and why he just upped and left without so much as a warning. once again, the guilty feeling that had been festering in his system was now being felt, and he listens closely first to what doyun had to say, his heart aching the more she spoke about her perspective and her own experiences regarding what happened.

" well, " he clears his throat upon deeming that it was his turn, sitting beside her on one of the bar stools in the kitchen, head angled to look at her, " first off, i just want to apologize . . i know that's not going to change anything that i did. but, still, you deserve an apology. " sincere words start to pour out, " secondly, and - i don't know if you'll believe me or not - but me ghosting you had nothing to do with you, like, at all. " he wasn't the most eloquent speaker but he was trying his damn hardest, " there's just been some . . personal issues going on in my life that i knew i had to sort out first that i did not want to drag you into. " he lets out a slow exhale, " it sounds stupid, i know. but i was feeling overwhelmed by life, that i - " he almost chokes on his words, " i didn't know what to do, frankly. "

Doyun wasn't the type of person to just forget about someone like that. She might've had lots of people pin after her, though when she's left ghosted by someone she quite liked, it was hard for her to just move on -- she pursed her lips not wanting to say anything that would make him feel worse, silently accepting the tea and warming it between her hands.

"That doesn't make you stupid," she chuckled, a grin forming at the corner of her lips. "I guess I don't move on as quickly as you'd think. But I'm sorry that you're still struggling with whatever it is that's going on. If you needed...a friend..." Doyun felt like she was intruding again on his life. He probably wouldn't want her hanging around and being that person who would try to help just to get in the way and make things worse; she just wanted to offer her support. "I probably shouldn't say that. Just know if you don't want to be alone anymore in this, I'm never far from you, Wonjoo."

            wonjoo knew she was going to say something like that, though there was still a sense of appreciation regardless. " i know i should have communicated better. " it was tough to admit that he wasn't being all that truthful to her about his lifestyle, and that's probably why he tries his hardest not to get close with anyone. but she was an exception. as much as he wanted to stop seeing her, he really couldn't help himself. though as time passed and with him constantly putting off the act of reaching out to her, he became more and more reluctant to show himself.

" i'm really sorry i didn't tell you earlier, noona. or that i didn't reach out. " standing up briefly to fix himself a cup of black coffee and pour hot water into her teacup, wonjoo hands the cup over to her. " i really don't deserve your kindness after everything. " he adds, " unfortunately, it's still something i am also working out, still. and i know it's wrong - but i really assumed you would just move on from it all. that's stupid of me to think too, huh ? " he understood he couldn't dictate anyone's feelings at the end of the day, but he assumed someone like doyun would have suitors left and right, and that he could be easily forgotten.

 starter  time  : @lucidrims

 ❛  i  was  hoping  you'd  smile  again,  because  that's  easily  the  highlight  of  my  night.  ❜  another  odd  job  as  a  bartender  taken  in  a  wedding.  cleaning  up  glasses  and  pouring  champagne  like  usual,  people  coming  and  going.  his  eyes  had  been  fixated  on  the  female,  ever  since  she  had  stepped  in  and  salem  knows,  she  wasn't  alone.  ❛  so,  are  you  just  here  to  have  a  good  time  or  do  you  want  to  have  better  time  with  me  ?  ❜