M: Tsumiki Fushiguro - Tumblr Posts
how do u think satoru would react to reader in a depressive episode, especially what do u think the kids would do
obviously, they’ve all noticed.
the past couple of weeks have not been lived through ignorantly. and you have not been acting normal.
the differences are just that, at first. tiny inconsistencies in your otherwise normal personality, your routine.
and then it becomes more than just a… change.
it starts off simple; megumi’s brows furrowing when you ask him a question—something about his teacher, or what kind of drink he wants in his lunch that day—and then forget what you’ve just said as soon as he answers.
tsumiki watching, smiling along idly, as you rub your temples, sighing with every other sentence and squeezing your eyes tight like you’ll be able to wake up if you try hard enough.
and satoru noticing when you linger in your room a bit longer, as the days pass. staring when you freeze looking at the wall in the morning, zoning out so hard that he has to shake you back to life.
just an accumulation of things that might indicate that something is up.
but as these moments—moments when you’re lost in your head, trying to conceal your entire being from all of them, and pretending that it’s all normal—increase, the three of them learn a little something about observing.
and lying to themselves, of course.
eventually, though, when megumi or tsumiki inevitably say something—usually when you’re not in the room, off hiding somewhere—satoru just shrugs.
(he’s going to lie his way through this, just like everything else, thank you).
“it’s a bad day,” he’ll say, like the two children will comprehend that. like they don’t know what a bad day means. “she’s just tired.”
he could make a million excuses for you. oh, you didn’t get enough sleep last night. oh, you’ve only had one cup of coffee today. oh, the world is a truly terrible place and it’s only natural that it runs you down.
but he leaves them with the simplest of explanations, instead. maybe it’s his subtle way of denying that there’s anything wrong. that you could be upset about something. it doesn’t matter, anyway.
and tsumiki, ever so trusting of all of you, listens to him. if satoru says that you’re okay, then so does she. she’ll draw you a picture at school or try to help you make their lunches in the morning, but you’re fine. her questions end with an answer.
megumi, on the other hand, has never believed a word that satoru has said.
so when the older man swears that you’re okay, that they don’t need to worry, megumi only begins to worry harder.
he sees that look on your face when you walk in the room, and megumi knows. maybe it’s because he’s the most attuned to you, out of everyone, in particular. maybe it’s because he’s observant, or too worrisome for his age (as you tell him).
but he knows.
and if satoru says one thing, megumi’s going to believe the other.
(plus the two of you have always had a symbiotic relationship. you worry about him, and he worries about you. you laugh at him, and he gives a little lip twitch in return).
so satoru is not surprised when megumi brings it up for the fourth time in a week.
“you want me to what, exactly?”
“you can talk to them, can’t you?” he repeats, giving satoru a bland look. something like ‘are you serious.’ “they know you.”
satoru snorts. “i don’t think my bosses will appreciate me telling them what they can or can’t do.”
megumi gives him another look.
and yeah, so satoru already does that. they still don’t appreciate it.
he sighs, smiling at the boy. anything to mess with him, really. he ruffles megumi’s hair. “kid, she’s fine. i can’t just tell them to give her a couple of weeks off. there has to be a reason. and,” he adds, cheerfully. “i’ve been told it’s impolite to speak on someone’s behalf without their input.”
“you don’t care about being polite,” megumi argues, crossing his arms.
satoru groans internally. he’s really not going to let this go.
it’s not that satoru necessarily disagrees, but anything he does to help you is going to be refuted with a “butt out,” or “leave me alone, satoru.”
“true,” he says, grinning as he mocks the boys stance. “but i do care about being yelled at. particularly by your mother.”
“she needs a break.”
satoru rolls his eyes. “she’s getting one. the next couple of days are free, and she’s taking a nap right now.”
megumi frowns, even deeper than usual, and stares satoru down until he breaks.
“megumi,” the man groans, childishly, pushing the boy out of the room. “you don’t need to worry about her. chill out. just go back to reading about rocks or whatever you were doing.”
“it’s geology.”
satoru waves a hand, indifferent.
(secretly trying to come up with a way to get you to talk to him. he can’t ask because you’ll just ignore him. he can’t force it out of you because that would get the two of you nowhere.
what other options are left, really? you’ve put satoru in a terrible position).
“then can we get something, instead?” megumi asks, almost pleading. “flowers, or… whatever girls like.”
“y/n already has flowers. i bought them.”
“buy something else.”
“who taught you to be this stubborn?”
megumi only scowls at him.
satoru sighs, scratching his head. he knows he should do something—but he’s so used to sitting around and waiting for you to fix everything.
yes, he does recognize that it’s a terrible habit, and completely unfair. he also recognizes that he is the worst person in the world.
eventually he sighs. “okay. how about i order dinner?” he asks, almost wincing. it’s the most natural response—everything can be fixed with food, in satoru’s sophisticated opinion. “that’ll be easy. want to go ask mom what she wants?”
megumi practically runs to your room, leaving satoru with no time to remind him that you’re probably asleep, knocking just briefly—from what satoru can hear—before going in.
he tip-toes up to the door, also wanting to check in.
satoru is nothing if not nosy.
and he might as well let megumi do all of the dirty work.
“um, i don’t care,” he hears you saying. “whatever you guys want.”
“it’s for you.”
there’s a pause. then, “really, megs, i’m not very hungry, so…”
megumi is frowning down at you when satoru steps in.
“good nap?” he asks, smiling and sitting at the edge of your bed.
“you don’t need to get dinner. it’s my turn.”
he waves a hand. “i feel like takeout.”
you frown, about to argue when megumi speaks up, glancing between the two of you with an almost furious expression.
“what’s wrong?” he asks, his voice soft but mad. like usual. satoru realizes that he’s been tricked into contributing to this.
“what?”
“why are you upset?”
“upset?” you repeat, eyes widening. “i’m not upset, megu—“
“are you sick?”
“no,” you say, immediately. “i’m just a little tired but it’s—“
“megumi,” satoru interrupts, trying to ignore the almost hurt look on your face—the glance you send his way, pleading and worried. he knows you hate this the most. “let’s let mom sleep some more, okay? tsumiki and you can decide what you want—“
“no.”
and neither of you can argue, or console the confused boy, before he’s climbing into your bed with a determined look on his face.
satoru tried to grab on to him, but megumi is having none of that, shaking him off before he can get a good grip. you’re looking at satoru anxiously, and this is the worst.
if satoru knows anything about you, it’s that you don’t want to be coddled. you don’t want to accept any help, even if it’s from your sweet, concerned son.
“megumi—“ you say, though, satoru notes, don’t make any attempts to move him when he struggles to get under the covers with you, or when he just sits by your side, barely touching you.
“i’m staying here.”
“really, bud, i’m okay. you don’t need to worry about me.”
“you’re sad.”
“i’m not.”
megumi looks at you, and satoru watches as you both share a glance. an internal conversation he’ll never get to be apart of.
for once in his life he’s not even jealous about it.
“it’s…” you say, but the two boys watch as your shoulders slack and your face drops. all at once, you lose color, life, and just sit there. “it’s fine.”
you say it to them, but it sounds more like a reminder to yourself.
satoru’s face falls. he has no idea what to say, what to do to help you—he’s spent so much time denying that there was anything wrong, that he could do anything to help, and now he’s got no answers.
he feels like an idiot, sitting there. megumi shouldn’t be taking more initiative, he should be the one worrying about you, the one to go to—
megumi doesn’t say anything though. he only moves closer to you, not complaining when your arm wraps around his shoulder and you hold him to you.
like a life vest. a support in all of the vastness.
he doesn’t need to say ‘it’s okay,’ or ‘i’m here for you,’ for the words to ring out across the the air.
and, satoru realizes, quickly, he’s only doing what you do for them. what you do best.
climbing in beside them and making sure they know that they’re not alone. being that support, no matter how unwanted.
megumi’s learned from the best.
“sorry,” you mutter to him. “i know im gross.”
megumi shakes his head and settles into you even further. and the boy doesn’t cuddle—or, at least, without being forced—but your face softens as he leans against you, allowing this kind of intimacy.
and, maybe, satoru thinks, that’s the problem with all of you.
no one knows quite what to say. what to do to help someone with something that they can’t understand. neither he or megumi is sure how to dig you out of this hole.
none of you are very good with words.
but, at least, satoru knows how to be good at this.
he sets his glasses on your bedside table, and he moves you both over with ease, smiling when you both grunt at his intrusion.
and then you’re a tower of people, all leaning against one another. building blocks stacked on top of each other.
you relax into satoru almost instantly and he kisses the top of your head, feeling some sort of pride—just at the fact that you’ll let him be here, with you.
maybe that’s the thing with families, he thinks. no one needs to say anything for it to be okay.
and the uneasiness sits there with all of you. the past couple of weeks—the distancing and disassociating—linger there.
there’s nothing he can say to make everything all better. he could destroy the entire world right now, save for your house, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
but this is nice. a hug might not fix everything, but it won’t make anything worse
and after a minute or two, you say: “where’s tsumiki?”
and she peeks her head out from your door, smiling at all three of you. it takes her three seconds to jump on the bed, having been waiting there the whole time, the final piece to your messed up puzzle.