( Mama B !! ) - Tumblr Posts
There was a moment there, when she wanted to say yes. That he should quit that she didn't want to have to worry about him being out there unprotected while he protected everyone else. There was also another part of her that knew what a difference it made and what it meant to him to be able to make that change, no matter how small or great it was, it would be selfish of her to ask him to give it up with everything he already did for her. "I know," she sighed, like a parrot, she echoed back her earlier sentiment. "I just don't want you to feel like just because we're together that you have to base decisions off how I feel about them." Him asking for her opinion, she could accept any day. Him basing decisions like quitting an entire career he worked so hard for because of her opinion, not what she wanted.
"Not honesty moment," a small childlike huff came from her. It wasn't like she'd ever lie to him, she never did. But being brutally honest about certain things was still a bit hard. Taking a deep breath in, she let it out as she admitted. "Yeah, I'd like to not see you hurt. I hate worrying that there's no one watching your back when you need it the most. But!" She added as she stepped in front of him and faced him. "I know the difference what you do makes and I would only support you leaving if it was your choice. If it made you happy. That's all I want for you," her hand caressed his cheek. "For you to be happy. I wouldn't want it to be something you did to please anyone else except yourself."
"I will," She smiled as she stepped out into the New Orleans heat, answering the Facetime call, and smiled at the sight of Orion and her friends. Walking across the street so as not to block the entrance to the shop, she found a tree to stand under for the duration of the call. They all smiled and asked how her trip had been going and how she was doing. Filling them in on the sights and travels so far, seeing Wally come out with the cool treats, she smiled and waved his way, letting him know she understood what he meant and that she'd be there soon. Turning her attention back to her phone, she was met with a best friend who teased her for a moment before letting it drop and continued to ask about her trip before she turned it around and asked about the office and how Anna's pregnancy was coming along. There was still things that needed to be in order before the little one came along and she wanted to make sure that anything she could help with would be done. Then Orion got back one asking for views, he was starting to catch a bit of wanderlust. Giving in to his request, she turned the camera view on her phone around so that she could can around the streets and show him where she was. That was when she caught sight of Wally and his mom, waving at her which made her stomach flip and her heart bounce. She waved back at them before telling everyone that she loved them and that she would promise to send more photos this time before hanging up and taking a deep breath.
The nerves that had consumed her before coming here were beginning to resurface but she remembered what Wally said. She could let him know anytime she needed out. She needed a break. She'd be okay. Making her way over she smiled and made sure to use her French knowing that Wally had mentioned she was more comfortable with it. "Madame Bordeaux, j'espère que je n'ai pas causé d'ennuis à Wally en se faufiler. J'avais besoin d'une friandise froid et d'un guide. Je ne suis pas habitué à toute cette chaleur."
"I don't want you to quit." A small frown on her face before it became a thoughtful one. She knew well why he did what he did. "I just want you to be safe. What you do is important, I just wish you had a partner, a good one, watching your back is all." Which was true, she loved him, loved why he did what he did. Understood it. But knowing that he was out there with a target on his back with no one to watch it for him upset her to no end. Worried her, though she hid that well. Thinking about him going out there getting hurt never settled right with her. " I understand why your mom would want you to quit. She loves you and she just wants the best for you too but like I said, I understand why you do what you do. I support you however you want to do it."
A closed smile spread as he called himself a thief. She didn’t want to burst his bubble and admit that he couldn’t steal something that rightfully belonged to him, but it was neither here nor there when it came to her heart. There was something about it that seemed to say that it had always belonged to him, she had just been holding if for a while. Playfully, kissing one of his dimples, she added. “That would depend of your definition of good, ástin.”
There was something to be said about her blushing. Somewhere she knew that anytime she had blushed, before Wally came into her life, it hadn't made her react the way it did now. It was a forced reaction when the moment had called for it, now it felt real, the warmth of her cheeks a welcomed rouge only because of who had put it there. Making her feel bashful in a way she had not known before. Instead of thinking about what she must look like, a mad woman with a smile on her face, and reddened cheeks, glad to be able to blame the heat for it, she listened to his story. Always glad to collect more pieces of what made him, him. By the end of the story, she felt much more curious now about what the priests could have had in that bottle. A small chuckle knowing that only such things could happen to Wally.
Taking a deep breath in, she smiled wide and nodded at his comforting words. Keeping a struggle to herself. She was still coming and grasping the concept of just being herself after spending so long being other people and catering to others, that she still hadn’t figured out what made her, her. Who was she? Who was Elizabeth? Because up until a couple of years ago all she was, was a zombie, a ghost, just existing. Not living. Now she was in a limbo, caught between everything she had been taught to be, what Charlie had wanted for her, and unsure of who she wanted to be or what she wanted. Was it something you chose?
Having just changed skin like a snake time and time again, she didn’t know who was supposed to be under this next layer now. But then that meant that there was another layer waiting, didn't it? Was there even another one? What would the next one be? Would she like that one? Which skin was best? Could she stop changing skin and begin to be comfortable in the one she was in? Oh god, she was overthinking this again.
The last thing she wanted was to ruin this trip with her existential crisis, so she kissed his cheek and kept a smile on her face. “Got it." She nodded enthusiastically. "Books, croissants and give you the look when I need to divert.” Turning her attention back to the ice cream, she said with a hint of a laugh in her tone. "Well, all of them honestly but I guess your mom the most. So we can go with the La Vie en Rose and the Lavender Honey and we're here for a couple of days right? I can come back and get other flavors for everyone tomorrow or the day after. I aim to be liked by at least a majority of your family by the time we get back." Which was the truth, she had never wanted people to accept or like her as much as she did right now.
Her phone rang in her pocket and she knew that ringtone all too well. "I forgot." She groaned as she grabbed it from her pocket and looked at the screen, Charlie. "I was supposed to call when we got here and send some pictures to Orion. I'm just going to head outside and take this, okay. Be right back." Leaning over, she kissed his cheek before heading outside, answering the phone as she waved to the new acquaintances. Stepping out onto the hot sunny street, she answered the face time call with her godson on the other end.