Matt Murdock Reader Insert - Tumblr Posts

My Devil, My Shadow

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Prompt - ‘Because losing her would mean losing yourself.'

The first thing Matt took notice of as he walked back into his apartment was the pulsing on the neon from the billboard outside before he focused in on you. He could hear your heartbeat and your breathing both keeping a steady pace that let him know you were asleep. Hearing you shift as the door shut gently, Matt chuckled to himself, no idea how you could fall asleep with the light show outside seeping into his living room.

He hadn’t been gone long either, only stepping out for five minutes to walk Claire down to the street after she had, once again, helped him out. The two of them exchanged words before he headed back up to you.

The Devil and you had crossed paths long ago, first before Fisk had been arrested and since then the two of you teaming up happened regularly enough that a friendship had been formed…ok so maybe Matt wanted more than just a friendship but how could he not? How could he listen to your laugh, a laugh that was able to flip his mood in a matter of seconds, a laugh that felt like a summer's day, how could he listen to you ramble on for hours on stake outs and not fall for you?

He didn’t need to see you to know you were beautiful. Matt didn’t have a mental picture of you in his head, not one like he wanted as he hadn’t had the chance to trail his fingers delicately across your features, the chance to cup your face in his hands, a chance to feel the way you smiled under them. He couldn’t even ask Foggy what you looked like as every picture captured of you showed the suit you wore, like him your face was hidden from the world, the all black fabric helped you blend into the night so the media had, rather creatively, dubbed you Shadow.

Matt remembered the first time you had been written about, how you waved the paper in his face as you told him the name you’d been given.

“Shadow?” You laughed as the two of you sat together on a rooftop, legs dangling over the edge as the sounds of the city passed. “I mean out of all the names they could have chosen, Shadow? A bit on the nose, right?”

“I don’t know,” Matt said, grinning ahead, “It does suit you, I mean now that I think about it you are like my own shadow.”

He was fully prepared for the smack to the chest he received for that one but Matt didn’t need to see you to know you were smiling too.

Tonight had been bad.

Matt hadn’t heard from you for a few days, the two of you had burner phones with only the other's number saved to it. Most nights you found each other in the middle of a fight or perched on a rooftop. After three or so days Matt had begun to worry that you had gotten hurt, surely you would have called him though?

After a bit of digging he finally got a lead, apparently you were investigating a human trafficking ring that had recently popped up in the Kitchen and they didn’t like that you were getting too close.

Nobody had seen you since.

It hadn’t taken Matt long from there to get a location, panic running through him but he pushed it down and focused all his senses on finding you. He couldn’t lose you, not when he had gotten so little time with you. His blood ran cold at the thought of finding you dead, no grounding heartbeat for him to listen to, no laugh or small touches.

Frank’s words about Matt being one bad day away from turning into him seemed to hit a bit too close right now and he forced the words from his head.

Matt shook his head, forcing himself to focus as he took out the guards at the front of an abandoned building. He could count at least ten more heartbeats inside and froze for a moment, titling his head as he listened to each one, desperately hoping that one of them was yours.

There, he thought, it was unsteady and weak but it was yours. You were still alive but Matt could hear your breathing was also laboured and with that he made quick work of taking out the rest of guards before following your heartbeat.

Matt found the room you were in and didn’t hesitate to push the door open with a loud bang, shocking the lone guard who had been left with you. He used the man's shock to his advantage and with a quick few punches the man was out cold.

He didn’t waste any time turning his attention to you, kneeling down in front of you and untying your hands. At this point you could barely keep your eyes open, it hurt to breathe but you pushed through the pain to look at the Devil who rescued you.

“It’s good to see you, D.” You whispered, voice strained from screaming.

Matt let out a wet chuckle as he heard your breathing, determining you had at least three cracked ribs. He finally let his hands trail your body starting at your wrists and wincing at the cuts, he gently ran his hands up your arms, feeling more cuts and forming bruises, before he came to your shoulders.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again.” He said just as softly, voice thick with emotion as he let himself touch your face.

He started by placing his hands on your jawline before moving up to cup your cheeks. He felt your lips twitch into a smile followed by a hiss of pain and a metallic smell that told him you’d reopened your split lips. Before he pulled away he let his thumb trace your cheekbone, smiling himself as he felt you lean into the touch.

“Let’s get out of here.” He said, gently helping you to stand before taking your weight as he led you from the building, burner phone already in his hand as he called for Claire.

“Didn’t I stitch you back together yesterday?” She asked as soon as she picked up the phone, causing Matt to smile.

“It’s not me this time,” Matt told her, frowning as you let out a soft groan.

“You found her?” Claire asked.

“I found her,” he confirmed, “my place is closer if you-”

“I’ll meet you there.” She told him before saying goodbye.

Thankfully it wasn’t a long walk and the fresh air was helping you come to faster. Once you were completely aware of your surroundings you froze causing Matt to stumble slightly as he still had you leaning heavily against him.

“Shadow?” He asked in concern, tilting his head as he tried to determine if you had aggravated any of your injuries.

“My mask,” You said, still looking at Matt. Matt’s eyes widened under his own mask as he too realised that you thought he could see your face. “You know who I am.”

And what was Matt supposed to say? Actually your identity is still a secret because I’m blind but please don’t freak out, yeah that’d go down well. Though part of him did want to tell you who he was, part of him had been thinking about taking the mask off for a while now. He liked you and he didn’t just want to know you as Shadow or have you only know the Devil, he wanted you to incorporate yourself into every part of Matt Murdock’s life and him into your life, he wanted to know everything about you, starting with your name.

Once you were better, Matt promised himself, once you were better he’d tell you who he was. Now his only priority was getting you back to his apartment and into Claire’s hands.

“I’m fine really.” You insisted, watching as the Devil smiled and Claire rolled her eyes.

“If I don’t stitch the wound, it’ll just keep bleeding and you’ll get an infection, trust me you want to deal with this now.” The nurse told you, ignoring your pout as she leaned closer to you and began closing the wound.

You let out a cry of pain as the needle did its work but Matt sat on the floor next to the sofa, your hand in his, and kept up a steady one-sided conversation that helped distract you.

“A couple of blocks away there’s a group celebrating a birthday, it’s the boys 21st. They’re all singing to him and it’s not bad considering the amount of alcohol in their system,” Matt felt you shift on the sofa so that you were facing him and smiled to himself.

“Two floors down a baby is crying, she’s hungry but her mom is really stressed out. She doesn’t know what to do so she’s trying to rock her to sleep. About five blocks to the right a group of students are out drinking after finishing their finals, one of them is sober and making sure another doesn’t wander off.”

This was something the two of you had done since you found out exactly what Matt’s abilities were. On the quieter times of your shared moments together you always asked him to tell you about the city and Matt was always more than happy to comply, the two of you laying on a rooftop somewhere and the words whispered only for you to hear. He felt your breathing soften, no longer focused on Claire stitching your torso but solely on Matt’s words, he couldn’t fight back the smile as he squeezed your hand.

Claire watched on with a raised eyebrow. It had been so long since she’d seen Matt like this, oftentimes he was far too stressed and pushing himself to the limit but since this Shadow, since you, came onto the scene Matt had started taking it easier, still doing his job but there was a softness to him now. So when he showed up bruised, beaten and bleeding but determined to get back out there she had been scared for him. Finding out you had gone missing was enough to send Matt spiralling so she hated to think just how he’d react to finding you dead.

She wasn’t sure Matt would survive that.

It wasn’t long before Claire was pulling off her gloves and giving you care advice that she just knew you wouldn’t follow, not if you were anything like Matt.

“Keep an eye on her, make sure she doesn’t rip her stitches.” Claire told Matt as she packed her bag.

“I’ll keep her safe.” Matt told her and she didn’t doubt those words for even a second. As far as she was concerned you held a lot of power over Matt, if something happened to you that might be the push he needed to cross the line he never wanted to cross.

She watched as you smiled up at Matt, it was a tired smile but my god was it blinding. Claire knew then that as far as you had gotten Matt wrapped around your little finger he was just as tightly wound around yours.

“I’ll walk you out,” Matt told her before turning to you, “Will you be okay?” He asked softly and Claire almost felt bad that Matt couldn’t see just how you were looking at him.

“For the few minutes you’ll be gone, I think I can manage to stay alive.” You grinned up at him causing him to roll his eyes. “Thank you, Claire.” You said, waving at her as the two of them left the apartment, leaving you alone to sink further into the sofa.

You shut your eyes tightly as thoughts of the men who attacked you filled your head and accidentally ended up falling asleep.

“She likes you, you know?” Claire told him as they walked down the stairs.

“You think?” He asked, sure he could feel your heartbeat and the way your cheeks flushed but could you like him, was it possible for you to feel the same way he did? “Trust me, if you could see the way she looked at you, you’d have no doubts,” Claire said and the steady beat of her heart showed she meant the words, filling Matt with hope. If Claire didn’t think he stood a chance with you she would have told him no matter how much it’d hurt. “You ever going to show her the person under the mask?”

Matt stayed silent as they descended down another flight of stairs before speaking.

“When she’s better. She’s been through enough. The last thing I want is for her to panic over the whole,” Here Matt paused to wave a hand in front of his face, “blind thing.”

“She knows what you can do.” Claire told him and Matt nodded because sure you knew his abilities but finding out a blind person could do the things he could, it would come as a shock and then you’d panic over him before calming down.

“She does,” he agreed easily, “but even without that I can’t just go up and tell her now, she can’t get up and walk out of my apartment if she wanted to.”

“Matt, listen to me,” Claire said as they came to the door, turning to face him as she spoke, “She isn’t going to leave when you take the mask off, I promise you. Plus she’s going to be a pain when it comes to healing and cleaning her stitches so she’s going to need something to take her mind off it. I say you tell her first chance you get. You deserve to be happy, you, Matt Murdock.”

Matt gave her a shaky smile because it was exactly what he needed to hear. There was a part of him that felt selfish but Claire was right, he deserved to be happy and nothing could possibly make him happier than you.

“Thank you, Claire.” He said softly.

“I’m glad you found each other.” She told him, tone matching his, and with that she left the apartment building leaving Matt alone with a grin on his face.

As he reentered his apartment, taking in the neon pulsing through the billboard outside and your soft, even breathing, he paused in the entryway, leaning against the wall and just let himself listen to you for a moment. He listened to you breathe, letting him know you were alive, he had saved you before they could do anymore damage. Despite the stitches and the bruises you were ok, you would be ok.

Matt would make sure of it.

With soft steps he made his way over to the sofa and picked you up in his arms, smiling as you curled into him, murmuring words he couldn’t catch. He was gentle as he placed you on his bed and wrapped the blanket around you, hesitating for only a moment before he allowed himself to lean down and kiss your head.

Claire was right because of course she was and Matt vowed to show you the man under the mask, vowed to tell you how he felt because he had come too close to losing you.

-

The next morning you woke up with a groan, hand going to your side before pausing and remembering the stitches. As you shifted your eyebrows knitted together as you felt the softness of the sheets and opened your eyes to see what was most definitely not your bedroom.

Hadn’t you fallen asleep on the Devil’s sofa?

With a shrug you pulled yourself into a sitting position, wincing at the ache in your torso, before the smell of food invaded your senses and it hit you just how hungry you were. It took a few attempts for you to stand up but you managed and padded out of the bedroom and saw the Devil cooking breakfast.

“Morning.” You said softly.

The Devil turned to smile at you, that smile always made your heart beat faster and never failed to put a smile on your own face. It was one of the first things you’d loved about him.

“Good morning,” He said as he placed the pan on the counter before making his way around to you, hand hovering over your wound before you nodded at him, that was the permission he needed to gently examine the stitches before he pulled away and pulled a chair out for you. “Breakfast will be ready soon.”

It wasn’t long before you and Matt were sitting next to each other with a plate of food in front of you. You dug in, not having eaten anything of substance for however long you were captured.

Matt made light conversation though he knew you had picked up on his nervousness. He figured it was best to rip the bandaid off and tell you as soon as possible.

“There’s something I wanted to tell you, something I should have told you months ago, something that shouldn’t have taken me nearly losing you to admit too.” He began and he felt your heartbeat quicken as he did, he didn’t know whether it was a good sign or not but he’d started now. “I really like you, Shadow, I have for a long time now. Being with you makes everything feel so much better, you make everything easier. I want you in my life, not just the Devil’s but in mine.” And with that Matt let his hands reach for the mask, your eyes widening as he did, before he gently pulled it off and placed it on the table.

It was silent for far too long in Matt’s opinion, your heartbeat hadn’t settled down yet and he could sense your mouth moving but no words came out. He was just about ready to jam the mask back on and pretend all this hadn’t happened when you spoke.

“Y/N,” You blurted out and Matt could tell it wasn’t what you had meant to say but still you continued, “My name’s Y/N.”

“Matt.” He told you and, God, didn’t his smile look even better now that you could see his whole face, see the way his eyes crinkled and his face lit up. “So,” Matt began but you cut him off.

“Sorry, sorry, I like you too, Matt. I have done for so long and I-I’m so glad it was you who saved me last night, I wanted it to be you so bad.” You told him, smiling as he leaned forward and cupped your cheek in his hand.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispered, feeling you nod and with that he leaned forward softly pressing your lips together.

The kiss started off slow and soft but eventually it heated up, the kiss conveying all those months of hiding your feelings, making up for all the times you could have kissed but didn’t.

Eventually Matt pulled away but didn’t didn’t go far as he rested his forehead against yours. The silence spread for a long while, the two of you more than happy to stay in your own little bubble where the other was safe.

You broke it though once something clicked in your head now that you had gotten the confession out of the way.

“You’re blind.” You told him watching as he pulled away from you.

“So I’ve been told.” He chuckled, feeling slightly self conscious now that he didn’t have the mask to cover his eyes but hearing your laugh was enough to push those feelings aside.

“Shut up,” you laughed, “Matt I’ve seen what you can do-”

“And you know how enhanced my other senses are,” He told you, gently cutting you off. “I don’t need sight to see, my other senses make up for it. Like right now I don’t need to see you to know that your eyebrows are furrowed together or that you're biting your lip to hold back a smile. I don’t need to see you to know that your cheeks are flushed making you look even more adorable.” He said, taking great delight in both your giggle and the gentle smack to his chest.

“You really can’t see?” You asked in amazement.

Matt was right you had seen what he was capable of, the man could do things that people with fully functioning sight couldn’t do. His enhanced senses allowed him to easily beat groups of people up without a single gun. You were in awe of his fighting style before, how he always seemed to be two steps ahead of his opponent but now you were even more amazed.

“Not conventionally.” Matt said, causing you to laugh.

“You’re incredible.” You told him before leaning in to kiss the smirk off his lips.

“You know I’ll keep you safe right?” Matt asked softly as the two of you pulled away, Matt’s face shifting with the words, he felt you reach up and cup his cheek, recalling the words Foggy used, Matt Murdock wore his emotions on his face. You could see how determined he was to keep his promise, how much it had scared him when you’d gone missing.

So instead of telling him you were more than capable of protecting yourself, something you had always told him when you’d first met before you finally let him past your walls, you nodded.

“You watch my back, I watch yours, right D?” You questioned back instead because that was the way things were between the two of you, had been for as long as you’d been working together. You protected your Devil and he, well he would…

“Always protect you, my shadow.” He murmured before pulling you in for another kiss that conveyed just how much he meant his words.

_______

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