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Hey there! Could you please do something with Tech for #39 from your prompt list? 💜

Hey, hope you enjoy it, thank you for requesting!!💛

Spark of Hope

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Request -  @narcissa-of-kaas - Hey there! Could you please do something with Tech for #39 from your prompt list ?💜

Prompt - “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” (Set post season 2, pre season 3)

You couldn’t even say how much time had passed since that Force forsaken day. It had been months at best and yet somehow it felt more like years. You had never been able to adjust to a life without Tech, how could you? It was impossible to believe that there had ever been a time where you hadn’t had Tech in your life, hadn’t had him ready at your side rattling facts of, filling silences with knowledge or just sitting together as he tinkered away. Whenever you needed somebody, it was always Tech you turned to.

Then all of a sudden Tech was gone. 

You still remembered the day, still remembered watching him fall from the cart, still remembered the heart wrenching scream that escaped you as you could do nothing but watch, only Hunter kept you where you were, stopping you from following after Tech, dragging you against his chest and forcing you to stay on the cart as it sped away from Tech. 

You had no memory of leaving, everything since then had passed in a blur and you were certain it was only thanks to Hunter you had managed to make it back to safety.

A day hadn’t passed where you let yourself believe Tech was dead. You couldn’t ever let yourself believe that, the second you did you knew you’d be done. You had to force yourself to keep that small spark of hope that seemed to dim as each day went by. 

You spent your days sat on the comm, pleading for hours for Tech to answer you, pleading with him to come back home, to come back to you. Hunter and Wrecker watched on with aching hearts as you refused to be moved, refused to let yourself accept reality.

The loss of Tech was only worsened by the loss of Omega, then Echo left to go help Rex, unable to stand being on the Marauder. You didn’t blame him, some days being on the ship drove you crazy, there were too many memories, too many constant reminders of those that should have been here but weren’t. Some days you couldn’t drag yourself out of bed, the smell of Tech on the sheets lessened with each day he was gone but you had to believe he’d be back one day.

Months had passed since that day and you were startled all of a sudden when the comm came to life, a distress signal that was used by the Batch could be heard. Hunter watched your face fill with relief, with hope. It broke his heart but still it was a code they used, they had to check it out.

You were relieved beyond words to see that Omega and Crosshair were safe and alive and yet you were disappointed. You hated to even admit it to yourself, hated the fact that when you saw the pair your heart dropped because it wasn’t Tech.

It was meant to be Tech.

Nobody blamed you for withdrawing after that, they knew you wanted Tech back. You had felt the spark of hope you had fizzle out, desperately wanting to stay alight but you didn’t know how to keep believing, didn’t know how to carry on without Tech.

It seemed that even though things had gotten better, two members of the Batch were back where they belonged, it was never right. There was constantly an empty space in every room of the Marauder, a silence after somebody said something where you still waited for Tech to talk, there were no longer random projects left out for you to fall over, it wasn’t home without Tech.

You still sat at the comm but your heart was empty as you spoke, you would give anything for a reply. 

Then one day it came. 

A strange message that consisted of nothing more than a set of coordinates and a cryptic message of ‘pl45’. Suddenly that spark of hope that had gone out weeks ago was back with a mighty flame, pushing out all the darkness and you just knew, it had to be him.

“Hunter!” You called, looking at the coordinates and the message, Plan 45, it was definitely a code the Batch used.

Hunter frowned as he looked at the message, Plan 45 meant mission gone wrong. It was their code, a random one to use but still their code. He wasn’t sure about it, one look at your face and he knew you had gotten your hopes up, he hated that you were going to be left more broken than before, he wasn’t sure you’d recover from this one.

“Y/N,” Hunter sighed softly but you were already shaking your head at him, standing from your seat and pushing past him into the cockpit. “Hey, I want it to be him too!”

“Then let’s go!” You snapped at Hunter, immediately feeling bad. You knew that whilst you hadn’t been coping well with the loss of Tech, without Hunter you probably would have completely lost it months ago. He truly had been your saving grace. “I’m sorry, it’s just…it’s Tech, I know it is.”

Hunter looked at you, his face contorted with sympathy but eventually he nodded, taking a seat in the cockpit as you typed in the coordinates. He didn’t say anything but that was just what you needed, to have Hunter by your side as you went to find Tech.

It had to be Tech.

It had to be.

It took two days to land on the planet the coordinates led to, a planet you didn’t know the name of and was so far off the map. You were sure Tech would have a fact or two about it if he were here.

You had sat on the comm, watching it, willing it to come alive with another message but nothing more came through. 

The ship finally landed and you were the first off it, eyes scanning the forest around you, looking for any sign of Tech. The others followed you out of the Marauder, each of them looking around and seeing nothing, knowing it was going to be bad for you when you came to another dead end.

It was Hunter who heard him first, a crunch and snap of twigs under a boot alerted him and he let out a small gasp, feeling Crosshair and Wrecker look at him. 

It took a few more moments but Tech appeared from the trees and you felt your legs nearly give out as you looked at him, unable to move. 

“Y/N.” Tech breathed out and that was all you needed to force your feet forward, practically falling into his chest and Tech didn’t care how sore his body was he still wrapped his arms around you and held you close.

“You got my message.” He whispered into your hair and you laughed though the noise sounded more like a sob as silent tears made their way down your cheeks.

Tech felt his own eyes well up but he managed to keep the tears contained as he looked past you to his brothers, though a few tears did manage to trickle out as he saw Crosshair looking back at him.

Eventually you managed to pull away and Tech brought his hand to your cheek, brushing away your tears before he leant his forehead against yours.

“I knew you were alive.” You told him, your voice barely audible as you tried to hold back more tears. “I knew you were.”

Tech leaned forward, brushing his lips against yours and you couldn’t stop more tears from falling as you kissed him back, savouring the feeling after doubting if you would ever feel this again. 

You never strayed far from Tech when the two of you eventually pulled away and he was embraced by his brothers, each of their eyes watery and a few of their cheeks wet where tears had fallen. 

Eventually you all made your way back into the Marauder and Tech excused himself for a much needed sonic. You were reluctant to let him go but watched him leave, assuring yourself he was back.

“I told you.” You said softly as Hunter came to sit next to you. “I told you he was alive.”

Hunter pulled you against his chest, his arm going around your shoulder as he placed a soft kiss to your head.

“He’s alive.” Hunter murmured against your hair, still trying to wrap his mind around it himself.

By the time Tech had left the fresher Hunter had gotten the ship into hyperspace and everyone was sat together. Tech immediately made his way over to you, not wasting any time in pulling you close to him, your hand finding his as the others spoke softly, your thumb stroking over his knuckles in a constant reminder that he was there.

The six of you sat there for hours, Tech filled you in on what had happened since his fall, Omega had excitedly told Tech about her and Crosshair’s daring escape and the rest of the night was spent reliving old memories until you were all yawning.

None of you wanted to pull yourselves out of that moment but the need for sleep was too much and you forced yourselves up and into bed. 

You were happy to go to bed though when Tech climbed in after you and pulled you close, the sound of his steady breathing was enough to lull you into an easy sleep, something that you hadn’t been able to do for months, your eyes falling closed feeling warm and overwhelmingly relieved.

It wasn’t until you gasped awake, shivering at the cold air that you knew something wasn’t right. You looked around and felt your heart sink as you realised you were on a cart, Storm Troopers shooting at you from across the way. It wasn’t until you saw Tech running across the rail line that you felt panic build up.

“No.” You whispered to yourself, Omega looking up at you in confusion. “No, he’s alive. I got him back.”

“Um, Hunter, something’s wrong with Y/N.” You heard Omega say but you didn’t pay attention to Hunter calling your name, instead keeping your eyes locked on Tech like your gaze alone could change everything.

“We’ve got three ships inbound.” Hunter said, dragging his gaze from you and back onto the fight.

You shook your head, how many times had you been forced to relive this day? How many times had you been forced to lose Tech? You thought you had him back, you had him back. Was that just a dream, a way to cope with him being gone?

Power came rushing back to the cart, snapping you back to reality and your eyes filled with tears as you watched Tech running back towards the cart, trying to outrun the blaster shots aimed at him.

You could only watch through blurry tear filled eyes as Tech fell from the rail line onto a falling cart, watching as he just about managed to secure himself with his grappling line but there was nowhere for him to go, the cart was falling faster than he could climb.

“Wrecker, get him on board.” Hunter commanded, though the command was filled with underlying worry.

You let out a choked sob, knowing that command wouldn’t be carried out. 

“You must sever the connecting hinge. Now!” Tech instructed and you shook your head madly.

“Tech.” You managed to choke out. “Please.”

“Y/N,” You heard Tech sigh and your name falling from his lips had more sobs escaping you. “I’m sorry, my love.” 

You watched as he pulled his blaster out and knew what was to come.

“Plan 99.” He said and you screamed as he fired his blaster, only able to watch as he fell, seconds away from blinding following after him only to have Hunter snatch you away from the edge, holding you tightly against his chest as you thrashed madly against him, unsure of what you could do if you managed to get out of his hold but the only thought in your mind was that you wanted Tech.

He couldn’t be dead.

You shot up with a gasp, silent tears falling down your face and sweat clinging to your body as you looked around, assuring yourself you were in the Marauder. Your heart hammered in your chest when you realised you were alone.

Had Tech ever been back?

You forced your body out of bed, of course he was back, he had to be.

Your feet silently carried you through the Marauder, only stopping when you got to the cockpit and you felt a sob escape you when you saw Tech in the pilot’s seat, looking out of the window as you flew through hyperspace.

The noise had Tech turning to face you with a worried look.

“What happened, my love?” The pet name had your mind flashing back to the last thing he said to you but you shook your head, wiping the tears away as best you could.

“I had a nightmare about you,” You told him, watching as his face softened and he made room for you on the chair. “And I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m okay, dear.” He assured you as you sat in the chair, his arm wrapping around you as he held you close, guiding your head to his chest so you could feel his heart beat loud and clear. “I’m alive.”

The words were a reassurance to the both of you as you sat there holding each other in silence whilst you passed through hyperspace, Tech was here. 

He was alive and he was going nowhere. 

____

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Thank you so much for reading!❤️

With Me

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Request - Please do cross with 2 from your prompt list ❤️

Prompt - "I didn't know where else to go."

Things had been bad for a while. 

You’d noticed things within the Order had started turning, noticed the Master’s had started turning a blind eye to things they usually would never have let pass. The war had dragged on for years, everyone was tired, everyone felt older than their age. 

You knew things were bad, knew supplies must have been stretched thin, when you were sent on your own mission. You were still only a Padawan, granted you probably should have transitioned into Knighthood by now but with the war that was the last thing on anybody’s mind, but you were still a Padawan. 

You shouldn’t have been leading a battalion. 

It was bad enough being entrusted with the lives of all these men, each of them looking to you for answers you didn’t have. You couldn’t contact your own Master, he was far away on another planet leading his own men. 

You were on your own. 

The battle was bad. It was a bloodbath. You had barely come out of it with your life, four days fighting non stop only to come out without a victory and with the lives of many men on your shoulders. 

The only reason you had come out alive is because you called so strongly upon the Force you were certain you’d touched the Dark Side. You could still feel it thick in your veins but by the end of four days you were too tired to care. 

You sat on your bunk on the way back to Coruscant, feeling numb. There were no words to make it better, nothing you said could comfort the remaining men on the ship. You’d already been called to the meeting room, expected to fill the Council in once you arrived.

You weren’t exactly thrilled to be going before the Council. You could still feel the dirt on your clothes, the blood on your face, aches spread throughout your whole body and you were pretty sure you needed to see a medic but you were so numb to everything that it didn’t matter. 

Eventually the ship landed, you stayed on your bunk for a long time before you managed to pull your tired body up, somehow forcing one foot in front of the other until you found yourself in the middle of the Council room. 

Master Yoda had been talking for some time, filling the other members in on your mission and informing them that he felt a disturbance in the Force. 

“The Dark Side, did you touch?” Master Yoda finally addressed you. 

It took you a moment longer than it should have to realise the attention was fully on you and you managed to shake yourself back to reality, looking around the room to see the majority of the Master’s looking at you with mistrust and disgust. You couldn’t help the stinging in your eyes when you saw your Master’s seat was empty. 

“Yes.” You forced the word out, too exhausted to care anymore. 

Master Yoda started talking again but you drowned him and the other Master’s out as they began to discuss your fate. You wanted to care what became of you, any other time you’d have fought hard to be heard but the war had drained you, you hadn’t seen your Master in so long, hadn’t trained properly in years, there was no community among the Jedi any more, your friends were scattered across the galaxy and you hardly had anyone to confide in anymore. 

You couldn’t help but smile, a weak, barely there tug of the lip as you thought about the few people you did truly have in the galaxy. 

Clone Force 99. 

They had been brought in on plenty of your Master’s missions and you had been excited to meet them, back before the war had drained everything from you. Wrecker had been the easiest to get along with, especially once he saw your knack for blowing things up. Wrecker was the best to go to when you needed cheering up, when you needed someone to shoulder the weight on your back with you. 

Hunter and you worked well together. It might have taken him a second to warm up to you, to welcome you as one of his but once he had, stars help anyone who tried to hurt you. You gravitated toward Hunter when you needed advice, when you needed to vent, when you needed someone to ground you. Hunter felt like everything your Master used to be, back when you were a child, back before the war became the only thing that mattered. 

Tech had taken the longest to warm up to you. You hadn’t minded though, you understood that their whole lives had been just them, the regs didn’t exactly treat them well. Letting somebody else in for somebody like Tech was a big step. You’d manage to earn his trust though, letting him ramble on about things you didn’t understand, brushing away the others when they told Tech to calm down. You’d let Tech teach you about the ship, about the blasters, about your lightsaber and slowly he let you in, seeking you out on his own and the good thing about Tech was he didn’t expect anything from you. He was content for you to sit and watch him tinker away whilst he filled the silence without needing a reply. 

You loved them, some days they were the only thing that stopped you from going rouge, from leaving the war behind. 

It was Crosshair that kept you going though. Whilst Hunter and Wrecker had warmed up to you easily enough, Crosshair had kept his distance. He’d look at you from across the room with a scowl on his face, he’d grunt at you instead of giving you an actual response and he just about drove you crazy. 

You loved him anyway. 

It had taken you nearly dying for him to admit he didn’t hate you as you’d originally thought, he just hadn’t wanted to like you as much as he did. Crosshair was used to what he had, much like Tech was. He didn’t want to care about somebody else and yet you made it impossible for him not to. 

Once Crosshair finally let himself admit that he liked you it was like something in the galaxy itself shifted. Clone Force 99 was brought onto more and more of your missions and you found yourself staying in the Marauder more than your own quarters. You and Crosshair worked like you’d been working together your whole lives, you didn’t need to talk, able to communicate through looks and work your way through whatever obstacles stood between you and your goal like it was nothing. 

It was only a matter of time before you felt yourself falling from the sniper. 

At first it terrified you, sure you’d looked at people before, could appreciate that they were attractive but you’d never wanted to act on it. Never had to force your eyes away from their lips, fixated on how Crosshair fiddled with the toothpick in his mouth. Never had to snap yourself back into a conversation so much because you were too focused on his hands as he cleaned his weapon. 

Everything about Crosshair was intoxicating, it was consuming. Most days it felt so easy to lay your head on his shoulder, to forget that outside the walls of the Marauder there was a war happening. Most days you could sit at his side, listening to the sound of his voice as you let him lull you to sleep. 

Everything about Crosshair was everything the Jedi Code forbade. 

“Dismissed you are, from the Jedi Order.” Master Yoda’s voice had you flinching out of your thoughts, mouth falling open to protest the sentence only to snap back shut again. 

Did you care enough to fight the punishment? 

What would you do? 

You didn’t argue, didn’t say a word. Some of the Jedi looked sympathetic as you bowed your head before turning from the room, leaving silently. 

You made your way through the Temple, no real destination in mind as you stared ahead. You felt more than realised you were outside when the fresh air hit your face, it was dark out now, you’d been standing before the Council for hours. 

What would you do? 

You didn’t know. You let your feet carry you, not sure where you were heading but knowing you had to get away from the Temple. 

You couldn’t say how long you’d been walking aimlessly for, only that at some point the rain had come flooding down and your feet ached.

Eventually you came to a stop, not even really realising you had for a moment until you blinked back to reality and felt a choked sob escape you at the sight before you, surprised you hadn’t ended up here earlier. You couldn’t blame yourself though, your thoughts weren’t there clearest right now. 

Apparently seeing a familiar sight was enough to send you over the edge, bringing the floodgates down and sending tears down your face. You let yourself stand there, letting your tears mix with the rain still falling heavily from the dark clouds above, just staring at the Marauder and feeling a sense of relief, a sense of finally being home. 

Eventually you forced your fist to knock at the door. 

Crosshair frowned at the sound of a knock, barely audible over the sound of the rain coming down. The others were asleep by now, readying themselves for an early start on yet another mission. 

He waited a moment but curiosity got the better of him and he forced himself up. When the door opened his heart ached at the sight of you, soaked through your clothes and silent sobs wracking your body. 

“I didn’t know where else to go.” You choked out before Crosshair had the chance to ask what had happened. 

He didn’t waste any time stepping out into the rain and wrapping his arm around you, pulling you into the warmth and safety of the Marauder. More sobs escaped you as you entered, being encompassed by the only home you had left. 

“I’ll be back, wait there darling.” Crosshair instructed as he sat you down and you could only nod, watching as he busied himself with making a hot pot of caff before leaving the room.  

Crosshair made his way over to Tech’s things, you were more his size than Crosshair’s but he did stop to grab his own blanket before making his way back to you, snatching a towel from Hunter’s things as he passed. 

“Let’s get you dry.” He murmured, kneeling down next to you and helping you out of your soaked clothes. 

Any other time he would have savoured the feeling of peeling your clothes off but now he was only methodical, trying them to the side and drying your body with the towel before he helped you into Tech’s blacks and wrapped the blanket around you. 

Crosshair stood up, ready to make you a hot cup of caff when he was stopped by your hand gripping his. He looked down at you, hating the lost look on your face.

“What happened?” Crosshair asked, his voice low as he knelt back down in between your knees, taking your other hand in his and looking into your eyes. The question of who did he have to hurt was heard clearly, even if it wasn’t said out loud. 

“They kicked me out of the Order.” You told him quietly, playing with his long fingers as you spoke. “It doesn’t matter, I’m not even upset about it.”

Crosshair gave you a doubtful look and you couldn’t help but laugh, though it sounded more like a sob.  

“I know it doesn’t look that way but…the Order, it’s all I’ve ever known. I don’t know what I am without it. That’s the scary part. I don’t know where I belong.” You confessed, looking away from Crosshair and down at your joined hands. 

“With me.” Crosshair said before he could stop himself but even when the words registered he didn’t take them back. “You belong here. You belong with me.”

///

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Prompt List

Hey! I am so sorry for not uploading for like five months! I really want to start uploading again but I think doing so many Taylor Swift inspired prompts burnt me out - if you sent a request or do send one I will get to it just give me time.

Here is a prompt list I'll be using from now on, like always if you have your own idea(s), send them in!

These's prompts include: "dialogue", 'anything in quotations is what the whole fic will be based around', 5 times plus 1, AU's and more!

Send in just one or merge some ideas together!

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_______________________________________________

1 - “You’re in love with her, you know that right?”

2 - “I didn’t know where else to go.”

3 - “I’m replaceable, you’re not.”

4 - “You kept it?”

5 - Leaning their head on their shoulder

6 - “Because that’s what you and I do, we protect each other.”

7 - “I swear on us.” “Why us?” “Because there is nothing I have ever believed in more.”

8 - Person A getting hurt protect Person B

9 - “Hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

10 - “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

11 - “Whatever you do, don’t let go.”

12 - 5 times Person A and B correct people about their relationship status and the 1 time they just accept it

13 - Everything is black and white until you meet your soulmate. The world goes back to black and white when they die.

14 - “For what it’s worth, I never gave up on you.”

15 - Accidental love confession

16 - “You’re staring at him/her again.”

17 - “Give me one good reason why I should trust you?” “Because no matter how much you hate me, you know I have never lied to you.”

18 - “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.”

19 - “If there was ever anybody meant for me, it’s you.”

20 - “You had your chance with her. You had your chance and you blew it, and this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are made for each other.”

21 - ‘I still hope there is more to our story. Maybe we just had to fall apart to find each other again one day.’

22 - “You weren’t there…why weren’t you there? I needed you! I needed you and you weren’t there!”

23 - “It’s my job to keep you safe, yes, but you could work with me a little to make it easier.”

24 - “Because I haven’t stopped thinking about you and you haven’t stopped thinking about me.”

25 - ‘I am usually an optimist but I have never hoped for a sad ending like I do for you and her.’

26 - “I can’t say if the day I met you was the best or worst day of my life.”

27 - “Don’t look at me like that.”

28 - ‘Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.’

29 - “She’s my best friend, that’s never changed.” “Yeah, the only thing that changed was your feelings for her.”

30 - “How many fingers am I holding up?”

31 - “You’d die for her?”

32 - ‘He had that awkward tenderness of someone who had never been in love and was forced to improvise.’

33 - “I did it for you, you idiot.”

34 - “If I never see you again just know that I love you so, so much.”

35 - ‘He kissed her. Without warning, without permission. Without even deciding to do it, but simply because he couldn’t have done anything else.’

36 - “I thought you were dead!”

37 - Squeezing their hand reassuringly

38 - “Whatever you do, do not make a sound.”

39 - “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

40 - “I can’t do this without you. I won’t do this without you.”

41 - “See? I told ya they’d get together.”

42 - ‘There is some good left in this world and it is worth fighting for.’

43 - Born with your soulmates first name tattooed on your body

44 - ‘There are some people that you meet and you just know from the get go that they are important, that you have to do anything to keep them in your life. He was that person.’

45 - “You came to me, begging me for help!”

46 - “Tell me about your life before all of this.”

47 - ‘S/he would always be my biggest what if.’

48 - “It turns out I’m absolutely terrible at staying away from you.”

49 - One being forced to hurt the other but refusing, getting themselves hurt instead

50 - “Why is it always the people you can’t trust saying “trust me”?”

51 - ‘If you were going to die, I was going to die with you.’

52 - “You can’t sleep yet kid, I need you to stay awake.”

53 - ‘We met at the wrong time. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. Maybe one day, years from now, we’ll meet in a coffee shop, in a faraway city somewhere and we could give it another shot.’

54 - Five times they wanted to say ‘I love you’ and the 1 time they finally did

55 - “I always thought you were the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

56 - “I’ve never had a family before.”

57 - “I’m not leaving without her.”

58 - ‘Sometimes we do everything right and it’s still not enough.'

59 - “Hey, you’re bleeding.”

60 - ‘We’re in love, we just want to be together. What’s wrong with that?’

61 - “Take me instead. Leave her/him and take me.”

62 - Sitting together on a rooftop

63 - “I think…I’m in love with (Name.)” “Congrats on being the last one to find out.”

64 - Needing somebody else to point out the fact you have feelings for character

65 - “I know we’re not…friends or anything, but…I’m here for you, if you need someone to talk to.”

66 - Drunken kiss

67 - “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

68 - ‘Home is not where you are from. It’s where you belong. Some of us travel the whole world to find it. Others find it in a person.’

69 - “If I had it my way, we’d never leave this bed.” 

70 - ‘Everything that needs saying, truly saying, begins with a lump in the throat.’

71 - When mysterious injuries appear on your body, it’s because your soulmate got them.

72 - ‘For old times sake.’

73 - “I’m never gonna be good enough for you, am I?”

74 - “Don’t hurt him! Just stop hurting him, please!”

75 - ‘Sometimes there are no words that can help. Sometimes you just need to sit together in silence and try to come to terms with how the world works.’

76 - “When I let a day go by without talking to you, that’s just not a good day.”

77 – “Do you have a plan?” “I have a gun.”

78 - “How long did you think you could hide that?”

79 - “Leave with me.”

80 - ‘She was good and he needed a little good in his life because without it there was an awful lot of darkness.’

81 - 5 places Person A and B have kissed plus the 1 place where they did more than that

82 - “Honestly I wasn’t listening but I always disagree with whatever you say.”

83 - “There’s no way I’m sharing a bed with you.” “You’re more than welcome to sleep on the floor.”

84 - Person B is frowning all the time but Person A can always see when they are happy (Grumpy x Sunshine)

85 - ‘I want you to always remember me. Will you remember that I existed and that I stood next to you here like this?”

86 - “I’ll do it, but only because you asked me to.”

87 - 5 times Person A treated Person B’s injuries, plus 1 time Person B treated Person A’s injury.

88 - ‘Maybe one day we’ll meet again and I’ll be right for you and you’ll be right for me.’

89 - "Dying in the middle of nowhere doesn't seem so bad if you're here."

90 - “Oh no, you’re a morning person.”

91 - “I hate you.” “I love you too.”

92 - “No, don't stop, keep talking. I like hearing you talk.”

93 - “Are you cold?”

94 - “What do you want from me?”

95 - “Look, I know you hate me but I don’t know what to do and I really need some help.”

96 - “I’m not leaving you. Not this time.”

97 - “I wish things had been different.”

98 - “I can’t leave you alone for a second without you getting into trouble, can I?”

99 - “You’re not sleeping?” “Nope.” “Why not?” “Don’t want you to stab me the second I close my eyes.” “I won’t.”

100 - “This isn’t just an (object), it’s a promise.”

Where We're Meant To Be

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Prompt - The five times you hugged Captain Rex plus the one time he hugs you

The first time it happened Rex wasn’t expecting it. His attention hadn’t even been on you at the time, which was rare in itself because his eyes always seemed to find you. Now though he was focused on the scene ahead, the memory of battle droids coming from all over, too many to count and even less time to think playing in his mind. The only thing that mattered was his blaster and the droids. 

When the fight was over and the battle won Rex walked away, there were too many of his brothers lying motionless on the floor. Battles were hard, war was hard and sometimes he just needed a moment. 

He didn’t know for sure how long he’d been gone for before he heard footsteps behind him. He didn’t turn to look at whoever had approached him either. He just stared ahead. 

You smiled sadly at Rex, lately the battles had been worse than ever, more and more of the 501st were dying and you knew it was taking a toll on the Captain. You didn’t need the Force to feel his sadness, it was written across his face plain as day. 

Rex stayed silent, not even glancing over at you and you weren’t sure he was even fully aware you were there, lost in his own thoughts, drowning in loss and pain. 

You wrapped your arms around him, it was the only thing you could do, there were no words to make any of this better, as much as you wished they could there were no words that could bring his brothers back, no words that would end the war. 

The only thing you could do was remind him he wasn’t alone. 

The first sign Rex gave of finally noticing you were the was by tensing in your arms, his whole body stiff as a board at the contact. You stayed where you were though, head against the plastic on his chest and arms around his waist. 

“What are you doing?” He finally managed to ask, his voice low as he tried his best to keep his composure even as the feeling of you around him made him want to break. 

“Hugging you.” You answered quietly, feeling the confusion coming from him and your heart ached for the Captain. 

“Why?” He asked again, swallowing around the lump in his throat and hating the stinging of tears he felt. 

“Because I’m sorry. Because you’re not alone, because this war is exhausting.” You sighed and felt him take a shuddering breath, hesitating a moment before bringing his arms to wrap around you. 

The touch was unsure, like he hadn’t actually ever hugged anybody before and with what little information you’d managed to piece together about Kamino and the Kaminoans you wouldn’t have been too surprised if that was the case after all. 

Rex stayed like that for a little longer, somehow the feel of your arms around him made things seem a little better, made it a little easier to breathe. 

The next time it happened neither of you had been expecting it. It had been months since you had last hugged Rex though since then you had thought about it plenty. 

Rex and you had been commanded to lead half of the 501st to one side of the base whilst Anakin led the other half to the other side. 

That should have been the easy part and yet when an explosion sounded from Anakin’s side your stomach dropped before suddenly there was a full battalion of battle droids in front of you. 

You lost track of who was where, lost in the midst of battle droids, deflecting blaster shots as quickly as you could but even you were struggling to keep up as the battle droids drew closer. 

At some point you managed to get it under control, ending up back to back with Jesse as you took down as many droids as you could. 

It felt like the battle went on for hours, by the end of it you were bruised and sore but still alive. You looked around the battlefield, trying to find Rex among the crowd and gasped when you saw him on the ground, members of the 501st surrounding him. 

You pushed through the small crowd and knelt down next to him, carefully pulling off his helmet to see a cut above his forehead bleeding heavily down his face. 

“Help me get him to Kix.” You said to Fives and Echo, both of them nodding and carefully picking Rex up between them. 

You had wanted to wait with Rex until he was awake but the Council had insisted on having both you and Anakin present as you gave accounts of what had happened. You had tried to argue with Anakin, watching as he threw a worried look his Captain’s way but told you it was the Council’s orders. 

Kix had been the one to assure you that Rex would be alright, that he just needed some rest and then he’d be up like nothing had happened. You had gotten him to promise to send someone to get you if Rex so much as winced in pain and he sent you away with an amusement smile. 

“You’ve got a good one there, Captain.” Kix murmured to the sleeping man once you were out of ear shot. 

You barely heard anything during the meeting, both Obi-Wan and Master Windu had to call for your attention several times and when it came time for you to recount what had happened on your side you rushed through it, hoping to get back to Rex’s side before he woke up. 

“Is everything alright, Y/N?” Obi-Wan asked you softly, his concern clear across his face.

“Rex got injured during the attack.” Anakin answered for you and Obi-Wan’s look of concern shifted to one of knowing, not that you were sure what it was he knew. 

“We shouldn’t be too long now, Y/N. You can check on your Captain soon enough.” Master Windu shot Obi-Wan a small glare but you didn’t care enough to read into it, just smiled gratefully at Obi-Wan and prayed to the Force that it really wouldn’t take much longer. 

By the time the meeting finally ended you were practically bouncing on your heels to get back to Rex. When the holo shut off you turned to see Anakin looking at you with a mix of fondness and amusement. 

“Go on then, go see your Captain.” Anakin smirked, copying Obi-Wan’s words from earlier. 

You didn’t even stop to roll your eyes at him, instead you practically ran from the tent and back over to where the med bay had been set up. You paused when you saw Rex walking out, a frown on his face as he rubbed at his temple carefully. 

You immediately made your way over to him, throwing your arms around his waist to hug him tightly. Without the plastic armour in the way you could hear his heart beating quickly in his chest. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” You murmured into his chest, closing your eyes and focusing on that heartbeat. 

Just like last time Rex went stiff in your hold but it didn’t last long, the Captain let himself relax in your arms, bringing his own arms up to wrap around you, letting you ground him now that the battle was done. 

Rex was tired. It was hard to know what day it was whilst they travelled through hyperspace, the cycles all merging into one another. 

He hasn’t slept in days, after the latest mission that had left everyone sore and drained, he had avoided his room and focused on his holopad, making sure everything was up to date. 

He frowned to himself as he wrote down the names of all who had been lost in the battle, letting anger and rage wash over him before shaking his head. There was nothing he could do for them now, he could only protect what was left of his brothers. 

He pushed himself away from the table, unable to carry on and walked out of the room, making his way through the corridors of the ship with no real destination in mind and feeling some of the tension leave his shoulders when he saw you talking to Echo and Fives. 

You were the first to notice him, your whole face lighting up with a smile when you saw him and Rex felt his heart speed up. That was something he had started noticing more and more, whenever he saw you his heart raced wildly. He knew he liked you, from the moment he met you his first thought was that you were so beautiful but he never dreamed of acting on his thoughts.

There was too much risk involved for both of you and besides what would somebody like you ever want with him? Rex was just another Clone, sure he might have the title of Captain but at the end of the day when somebody looked at him all they saw was a Clone.

“Rex!” You beamed as he approached the three of you, watching as Echo and Fives grinned at each other after looking between Rex and you.

“General.” He smiled back, his smile widening as you rolled your eyes at him.

For months now you had insisted he call you by your name and for months he had held onto your title. 

“We were just going.” Fives said, giving Echo a pointed look and Echo chuckled as he agreed, the two of them waving goodbye whilst snickering to each other.

“I don’t even want to know what they’re up to.” You laughed softly before turning your attention back to Rex, smile dimming slightly when you saw the tiredness that seemed to radiate from him. “You okay?”

“No need to worry about me.” Rex told you in lieu of a real answer causing your eyebrows to knit together. 

Rex knew you wouldn’t let the topic drop, he knew once you got it into your head that he wasn’t ok you wouldn’t just leave him be. If it had been anyone else it would have bothered him, he hadn’t asked for help so he didn’t need it. But somehow it was different when it was you, somehow when it was you he didn’t mind. 

In fact it sent a warm feeling through him, one that he usually tried not to think too hard about. Recently though he hadn’t been able to ignore it, it had been months since that first time you had hugged him and yet that small bit of contact seemed to have awoken something inside him. 

Rex shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was to feel your arms around him, now that you’d done it once and he hadn’t pushed you away you seemed to have taken that as acceptance even if he himself had never initiated a hug yet. 

“It’s been a long mission, huh?” You murmured into his chest, your hand rubbing a comforting rhythm into his back and he felt himself begin to relax with each brush. 

The hugs seemed to break down any walls he had, sending them crumbling like they were nothing more than a house of cards. Each time you hugged him he felt the embarrassing sting of tears that were unbecoming of a Captain, if any of his men could see him now.

But they couldn’t. 

The hallways were clear and he had a feeling Echo and Fives would see to it that they stayed that way if their matching grins meant anything. He laughed in your hold, the sound coming out weak and more sob-like and he was faster to wrap his arms around you this time, letting his head rest on top of yours to hide his watery eyes.

“Yeah,” He breathed out, “yeah General it has.” 

There wasn’t much more to be said, nothing changed the fact that you were in the middle of a war. Your soft whispered words of reassurance made him feel better, but nothing helped as much as your arms holding him tight, reminding him that no matter how much he lost, he still had you.

The next time you hugged Rex was different compared to all the other times. It happened on a night where the 501st were grounded in Coruscant and the men had all planned a much, much needed night at 79’s.

Rex hadn’t been the one to ask you to join them, Jesse had beat him to it but when you protested, claiming that this should be time they spent together and away from their General’s Rex had laughed and insisted you were welcome, that they’d be more than happy for you to come with them.

“Are you sure you guys don’t mind me coming along?” You asked and Rex had given up counting how many times you’d ask the same question since he arrived to pick you up at the Jedi Temple.

The moment he first saw you he felt his eyes widen and he cursed his stupid heart as it began its predictable quickening pace that it had developed around you. You looked beautiful though, gone were the Jedi robes and in their place was a short dress that had Rex swallowing around a sudden lump in his throat.

“General, I swear to you we’re all happy you’re joining us tonight.” Rex told you with a warm laugh that had you smiling over at him, feeling your own heart begin to match the speed of the Captain’s.

You had never been to 79’s before and you couldn’t help but smile as you walked into the cantina, you recognised troopers from all different battalions, the place was warm and you couldn’t help the sudden intake of breath when you felt Rex’s hand on your lower back, the most amount of contact he had initiated with you outside of the battlefield.

You let Rex guide you over to a booth at the back, overly aware of his hand the whole time and savouring the feel of him against you before he let go to gesture for you to enter the booth first. You smiled at the cheery welcome the pair of you got from those who were already there, recognising both members of the 501st and the 212th.  

Rex took the holopad from Cody with a smile, starting a conversation with the Commander as he ordered the two of you drinks. Your smile widened when you realised you didn’t have to tell him your drink of choice, watching as he ordered your usual without needing to ask. 

One drink turned into two, two into four and before you knew it you were leaning into Rex’s side, cheeks flushed from the alcohol and laughing loudly along with the others at something Fives had said. 

If asked Rex wouldn’t have been able to repeat what Fives had said, he was too busy looking at you. You were beautiful all the time but this was a side to you he didn’t get to see often, one he wanted to see much more, usually everything was shrouded with a bone deep exhaustion from the war but here it was easy to forget what was happening, here he could sit back and watch you laugh.

In here it was easy to forget the rules, forget that you were his General and he could be sent back to Kamino if he dared give into his feelings for you. In here it was easy to forget that both Jedi and Clones were forbidden from such thoughts, easy to forget everything when he could feel your head on his shoulder as you leaned against him, your whole body pressed against his.

It was hard to remember why he couldn’t just wrap his arm around your shoulder and pull you closer, hard to remember why he couldn’t pull you onto his lap and pepper kisses along your neck.

He was seconds away from reaching out to touch you when he glanced across the table and saw Cody, a knowing, sad look on his face and Rex could only shake his head, not letting the harsh reminder that he couldn’t have you ruin his night.

You stayed where you were for hours, pressed against Rex and laughing into his chest as you drank more drinks. It wasn’t long from sunrise when you turned further into Rex’s chest, eyes growing tired and you let the fall closed, wrapping an arm across Rex’s waist and feeling him relax in your hold.

Rex didn’t want to move you, here you were cuddling him but he knew he couldn’t let you. Just a small taste was enough to ruin him. So with a heavy heart he shook you gently, watching as you frowned and tried to bury yourself further into him. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched you pry your eyes open to glare at him.

“Let me take you back to the Temple.” Rex said softly, leaning down slightly so only you could hear him.

“You don’t have to.” You tried to insist but Rex wasn’t having it, Jedi or not there was no way he was letting you make your way back to the Temple alone.

“Come on, General.” He grinned at you, sliding out of the booth and holding a hand out for you. “Let’s get you home.”

You laughed softly as you slipped your hand into Rex’s, ignoring the loud cheers coming from behind you and waving goodbye to the other’s still left drinking.

The cold air hit you as soon as you stepped out of the cantina, a nice breeze cooling you down from the warmth of 79’s. You watched as Rex got the two of you a taxi and slid in next to him once more, not hesitating to plaster yourself against him considering this could be your only chance to be so close to him, knowing that you could both just blame it on the alcohol.

Rex spent most of the drive resisting the urge to wrap you in his arms, you made it look so easy each time you did it and Rex was growing annoyed with himself and his inability to just pull you closer.

By the time you pulled up to the Temple you weren’t ready to say goodnight to Rex but you knew there was nothing else you could do to stay in his company.

“I’m glad you came tonight…Y/N.” You couldn’t stop yourself from grinning ear to ear as Rex finally used your name, dismissing any titles and ranks between you. 

“I’m glad too.” You told him softly, taking a step towards him and wrapping your arms around his waist. “Thank you for making sure I did, I had a great time.”

Rex wrapped his arms around you easier than any other time, only hesitating for half a second before did, his chin resting on your head as he savoured the feeling of you against him whilst also cursing how easy you had made it seem to close the distance between the two of you. 

“I’ll see you soon, yeah?” Rex asked once the two of you finally pulled away from each other and you nodded, smiling softly at him. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Rex.” You murmured, turning to the entrance of the Temple and only looking back before you entered, smiling as you saw Rex watching after you, making sure you were in safely before he left. 

“She’ll be back before you know it.” Fives assured him, nudging Rex’s shoulder as he sat down next to his brother.

“I should be with her.” Rex told him, tenser than he had been in a long time outside of a battle. 

It had been days since you’d left, Obi-Wan had asked for your assistance in an undercover mission and you had agreed. When you told Rex he felt his heart just about stop, a complete opposite reaction to what it usually had around you.

He hated that you were leaving the 501st, he hated that you were leaving him. Out on missions it was you and him, he watched you back and you watched his, if he wasn’t there anything could happen to you.

“She’ll be fine, you know Cody won’t let anything happen to your girl.” Echo said and both him and Fives took great delight in watching Rex’s head shoot up to look at him with wide eyes.

“She isn’t my girl.” Rex grumbled after a minute had passed and Echo and Fives scoffed causing Rex to glare at the pair.

“She’s as good as.” Fives smirked. “What’s stopping you from making a move?”

“I can’t.” Rex sighed, he wanted to, he really did. It was all he could think about some days, whenever you were close to him, whenever you wrapped your arms around him, whenever the two of you stayed up late talking about everything and nothing. All he wanted was you. “You know the rules.”

“Is she worth the risk to break them?” Echo asked him softly, the amusement leaving his eyes as he looked at Rex’s seriously.

“Of course she is.” Rex answered without a moment’s hesitation. “I’m just not sure I’m worth the risk.”

Neither Echo nor Fives said anything more on the topic, quickly changing the subject in an attempt to get that sad, broken look off Rex’s face. It didn’t matter that they both knew you were head over heels for Rex, it didn’t matter that they knew you’d risk everything in a heartbeat for him. It was something Rex needed to figure out for himself.

“She was supposed to be back two weeks ago, General Skywalker says it’s been complete radio silence and I can’t contact Cody.” Rex groaned, pacing the floor of the grounded ship.

“It’s an undercover mission, you know how unpredictable they are.” Jesse tried to reason with him but Rex was beyond that.

He was a mess, he hadn’t slept in days, all his dreams were haunted by images of what could have happened to you and he cursed General Kenobi for taking you from him, if something had happened to you he would never forgive himself. 

“The General’s back!” Fives shouted as he ran into the room, grinning at Rex who stopped in his tracks and practically broke his neck with how fast he turned to look at his brother. “Her, Kenobi and the 212th are outside.” 

Rex didn’t need to hear anymore, he was brushing past Fives, ignoring the laughter that faded as he headed towards the ship's exit, practically running off the ship in a desperate need to make sure you were alright.

Even though he was looking for you, you found him first, grinning from your place with Obi-Wan, Anakin and Cody over at Rex and breaking away from the group without a word. They all watched you make your way over to Rex, the man pausing once he saw you, his eyes scanning you up and down but you didn’t give him much of a chance to look as you wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly.

Rex felt like he could breathe for the first time in days and didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you, drawing you impossibly closer and assuring himself you were safe.

“Are you okay?” Rex murmured into your hair, “You were supposed to be back weeks ago, I was worried.”

“I’m fine.” You told him with a soft laugh, pulling away only far enough so you could look up at him, smiling brightly at him as you watched him take in your features and see for himself that you really were fine. “We ran into a few problems but everything’s fine, we got the information we needed.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Rex told you honestly and you smiled softly up at him, Rex smiling back down at you and both of you couldn’t help but think how easy it would be to close the gap between you.

For now though it didn’t matter, you were both content with this, simply holding each other, knowing that you had each other. 

Rex could see it happen. 

It was like a scene playing out before his eyes, he was just a bystander that couldn’t interfere. He tried to, stars had he tried. He ran until his sides ached and kept running but it was too late.

You were gone. The Separatist leader had taken you and Rex hadn’t been able to stop it. The only thing Rex knew was that he was made to protect you, not because you were his General, not because of his loyalties to the Republic but because he loved you.

He loved you and he never told you and now you were gone. 

General Skywalker was furious. The 501st were devastated but no one more than Rex felt your loss. 

He was heartbroken, he had to get you back and yet all the Council wanted to do was talk. Rex was ready to leave, he would find you on his own. There was no time for meetings behind closed doors, not when with each second that passed you got further and further away from him.

Days had passed with no action and Rex had had enough. The ship was grounded and he had no trouble sneaking away, ready to steal a smaller ship and head off to find you, though he had no real destination in mind, he would search the whole galaxy just to find you.

“Rex.” Anakin called just as he was about to climb into a ship.

Rex froze, torn between facing his General and carrying on ahead. He was about to take another step forward when Anakin spoke again.

“I’m coming with you.” At that Rex did turn around, seeing Anakin with a determined look on his face, lightsaber clutched in his hand as he walked over to the ship. “The Council has no immediate plans to help, we’re on our own.”

“We’ll find her, Sir.” Rex said firmly because there was no other option.

It had been three weeks since you’d been taken and Rex was losing his mind. 

Anakin ignored calls from the Council, only answering them if they came from Obi-Wan who provided as much information as he could about possible locations you could be but other than that there was nothing.

Each place they’d searched ended with Rex breaking more and more, if they didn’t find you soon there would be nothing left of him to break. He slept very little and ate even less, his mind on a constant loop of all the terrible things that could be happening to you.

It was Obi-Wan who had suggested visiting Mevara, a planet on the outer rim known for its Separatist activity. Rex couldn’t set himself up for another failure and yet he still felt a small glimmer of hope that he knew would surely be crushed.

They had searched for hours before Anakin froze, Rex just narrowly avoided going into the back of him as he stared at the General in confusion. 

“Sir?” He finally asked after Anakin had been still for nearly a minute, a frown on his face before he snapped back to himself.

“She’s here.” Anakin told him and Rex felt his heart stop as Anakin turned to face him.

“You’re sure, Sir?” Rex whispered, wide, hope filled eyes staring into Anakin’s.

“She’s here, Rex.” Anakin repeated and that was all Rex needed. 

He let Anakin lead the way, the pair of them sneaking into one of the many Separatist bases on the planet and Anakin used the Force to find you, though their search was interrupted by battle droids.

Anakin called over to Rex where you were and Rex didn’t hesitate to fight his way through the droids, not feeling bad as he left Anakin behind to deal with the worst of them. He ran as fast as he could and came to the room Anakin had said, holding his breath before opening the door.

You were being held up by a containment field and after a quick scan of the room Rex ran over and made quick work of getting you down. He caught you by your arms and you let out a sob as you looked up at him. 

“You came.” You whispered, the words catching in your throat from screaming and lack of water.

Rex couldn’t stop himself, for the first time since he’d met you he was the first to pull you into his arms.

You were exhausted, completely drained and your whole body ached in a way that words couldn’t even begin to describe. So when Rex pulled you into a tight hug, his fingertips buried in your sides and his head pressed into your hair, you should have cried out in pain, should have winced and pushed him away. 

Instead when he wrapped you up tightly in his arms you couldn’t move for a second, frozen at the contact because it had been so long since somebody’s touch had been kind and then you let out a shuddering breath, tears finally coming to your eyes and flooding down your face uncontrollably. It was only then you moved, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and burying your face in his neck, soaking his skin with your tears but Rex didn’t care. 

Rex held you close, hearing Anakin come to a stop in the doorway but he didn’t care, he had finally gotten you back and nothing was going to stop him from holding you, no amount of rules or consequences were enough to drag him from you.

He held you tightly, grounding and comforting you like you’d done with him so many times and you melted against him, the aches and sores easier to ignore in Rex’s arms and it was so easy to let yourself fall apart in them. 

“You’re okay, you’re okay mesh’la, I got you, you're alright.” Rex kept murmuring into your hair, the words washing over you, soothing you completely as you let yourself be held. “You’re alright, love, that’s it, I’ve got you.”

“Thank you for coming.” You whispered into his neck and Rex felt his heart break.

“I’ll always come for you, cyar’ika, always.” Rex promised as he placed a kiss to the top of your hair, the two of you finally back in each other’s arms, exactly where you were meant to be.

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Wishing on the Stars

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Prompt - Y/N, the Princess of Vathea, has spent her whole life wishing on the stars, waiting for a life of adventure and excitement. The stars answer in the form of the Doctor.

Inspired by - this post by @cxnnorussy

Zaliri was a beautiful planet full of the brightest greenery and beautiful sparkling stretches of water. For most children growing up on such a planet was exciting, there was never a dull moment, so many secret spots just waiting to be discovered, mountains to climb, hills to roll down, lakes to swim in and beaches to explore. There was always something happening, the many towns were always full of life, whether it be from stalls filled with beautiful things or the nicest of foods, celebrations thrown or fun days hosted. 

Most people couldn’t complain much about life on Zaliri, it was a good life. 

For you however it was anything but. For you as Princess of Vathea, the Kingdom that your father ruled, filled by many towns spreading all the way to the eastern border where the Kingdom of Thavis started, life wasn’t as good.

You hadn’t always lived a life so sheltered, one where instead of joining the festivities in the closest town, you had to watch from the windows of your bedroom, envying how the children danced and ran around together, hating how people hugged and laughed, sharing stories and food without a second thought.

It was all you wanted, to live a life away from the castle, one where you could laugh freely and explore the lands. 

But that wasn’t the life you led. Instead you were confined to the castle and its grounds, hardly allowed to leave and on the rare occasion you were granted permission to venture beyond the castle walls you were surrounded by guards and never allowed to stray from them. 

It hadn’t always been this way, you couldn’t remember much of your life before your mother died but you could remember her taking you outside, the Queen joining her people as they celebrated, you and the other children playing together as if you were no different from them.

It was only after her death that your father had sheltered you away, ignoring your cries and pleas to go back to the village. Your father was a fair ruler, the people liked him well enough though they had loved their Queen. It didn’t matter that the King didn’t come down to the villages and give his time to the people as his wife had once done, he kept them safe and they were happy.

You had grown used to your life, you might not have liked it, feeling as though you were wasting it, but you had accepted this was how things were. It wouldn’t matter for much longer anyway, soon a time would come when your father would let you go.

The day after your next birthday you were to be married and you would leave Vathea behind to live in whatever Kingdom your future husband would come into power of. You weren’t all too thrilled to be married to a complete stranger, you hadn’t liked it from the moment you’d found out your marriage would be decided for you but the thought of leaving the castle was enough to keep you from protesting too much.

Silently you mourned though, mourned a life that could have been, one of adventure and excitement, one of travelling to far off places and never having to be trapped again, being able to go wherever you wanted and fall in love with somebody who you truly wanted to marry.

You knew it was an impossible dream, even more ridiculous than the fairy tales you had read as a child and yet you still found yourself wishing and pleading to the stars that shone high above the castle, begging for them to save you, to show you the life you wanted.

Your wish was never answered though. Instead you watched from your window as carriage after carriage pulled up within days of each other, Princes and Kings coming to convince your father they were the best suited to create an alliance with, each leaving with dejected looks on their faces.

You couldn’t say you were too disappointed but as your birthday grew closer and closer you couldn’t help but worry your father would decline every suitor that pleaded their case. 

“I have met with Zaliri’s best and finest and I have yet to decide who you will marry.” Your father started that evening, his eyes narrowing as you slumped in your seat. “That is why a ball will be thrown, there you will meet the men I have picked out and you can choose whom you marry.”

You weren’t sure how to feel, of course the thought of marrying anybody you didn’t know was a wretched one but you feared that this was your one chance at freedom. Your father wasn’t concerned by your silence, focusing on his own meal and missing the way you pushed at your food with your fork, an action that if he had noticed would have had him lecturing you on the proper manners expected of a Princess and future bride.

The rest of the meal passed in silence, your thoughts on the upcoming ball with a feeling of dread.

“The ball will be hosted the day of your birthday and the wedding will be planned for the day after.” Your father told you before leaving the room and you sighed, heading up to your own bedroom to stare up at the stars, wishing for a miracle.

The castle was filled with life over the next few days, the workers were busy with the impromptu ball and as the day drew nearer royals from all over the planet starting arriving at your castle.

You did your best to avoid the men but unfortunately they were on a mission to win you over, finding you all over the castle no matter where you ran off to. It was exhausting and you found yourself debating whether a life with one of these dull men was worth it. 

Each one you encountered was more boring than the last, all of them were prim and proper, fussing over every little detail and seemed only capable of talking about themselves and their Kingdoms. You weren’t quite sure a single one of them had enquired about you yet, if they did ask questions they were about your father.

You sighed as you ducked out of the castle and out onto the grounds. There was plenty of room, though it didn’t feel that way when you were confined to them, but right now you were grateful for the chance to escape the madness inside, taking a breath of fresh air as you tried to avoid anyone else.

You had been walking for some time, lost in your own thoughts, before you were startled out of them by a body colliding with yours. You let out a yelp, waiting to feel the cold, hard ground, frowning when you felt a pair of arms around you instead, helping you back upright.

“Sorry about that!” The man before you said, a grin on his face as his arms fell back to his side. “You alright?”

Your eyes widened at the man, something about him was…odd. Different in a way you couldn’t quite put your finger on. He was so different to the other men in the castle, his brown coat that seemed so very unlike anything from Vathea, the way he smiled at you and addressed you so informally. 

“Miss?” The man prompted and you shook your head, unable to stop yourself from smiling back at him.

“My apologies, I’m quite ok, thank you.” You answered and watched as his smile widened even more, his eyes seeming to light up but you couldn’t say for sure why they would.

“Well I’ll let you carry on with your walk then, my lady.” He grinned, stepping out of your way and holding a hand out for you to walk past him.

You hesitated for a moment, every other suitor had taken up as much of your time as they could before you could politely slip away and this one was leaving you be, not even introducing himself or telling you how well off and important his Kingdom was. 

“Thank you, kind sir.” You laughed softly, stepping past the man, pausing to look back at him and shaking your head fondly as he waved at you.

You decided you quite liked the man.

That night the evening meal was a dreadfully boring affair, you had contemplated if you would be able to sneak out when your suitors continued to go on and on about why you should pick them. You looked around the long table, wondering where the man from the gardens had gotten off to, sighing as you realised you had never gotten his name to ask about him.

Hours passed before you were finally able to leave, forcing smiles and laughs as you excused yourself, nodding as you backed away from two men who refused to take a hint before simply turning and walking away from them.

On the way up to your room you suddenly stopped, the hallway was freezing and the lights were dimmed. A shiver went up your spine as you took a step back, unable to explain what it was exactly that had you so unsettled. You couldn’t get to your room any other way and contemplated taking one of the many guest rooms as you took another step back.

When your back collided with something hard you let out a small shout and turned around quickly, turning to see the man from earlier with his hands raised.

“It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s just me.” The man said softly, your chest raising and falling quickly as you struggled to catch your breath. “That’s it, you’re alright.”

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to-”

“No need for apologies, my lady.” The man said, smiling at you, even as his eyes shifted around the hallway, looking past you at something.

When you went to turn around he caught your hand in his, pulling a gasp from you as you turned your gaze back to him but he was still looking over your shoulder. It was only when you cleared your throat did his eyes meet yours and you watched as they widened, your hand falling from his.

“Sorry about that. Won’t you let me walk you to your room?” He asked and any other time you would have declined but something about the hallway scared you so you nodded, watching as the man lifted his arm for you to take.

You couldn’t help but smile as you wrapped your arm in his and let him lead the way down the hall, your gaze darting around the room like you were waiting for something to pop out but you made it through without anything happening and breathed a sigh of relief when you came to a stop at your door.

“There we are now,” The man grinned, “safe and sound.”

You couldn’t help but frown slightly as you looked back towards the direction you had come from, a feeling of dread still weighing on you.

“Did something feel…wrong to you?” You couldn’t help but ask, dragging your gaze back to him just in time to see his eyebrows knit together.

“Wrong?” He prodded and you shook your head, unable to put it into words. “Trust me, nothing’s going to harm you.”

Your frown deepened at that and you looked towards the man, curious about his words, curious about who he was and where he had come from but the man just smiled and took his arm from yours.

“I’ll let you get some sleep, Princess, busy days ahead and all.” He dismissed himself, turning back towards the hallway and leaving you staring at his back.

How improper. One never turned away from a Princess, especially not a suitor who was trying to win her favour and yet this man was so peculiar. You sighed softly and entered your room, shoulders losing some of their tension at the warmth.

It took a while for you to change from your dress and into your sleepwear, turning the main light off and leaving only the soft orange glow of the lamp to light the room, as well as the moonlight that shone through the window.

You walked past your bed and sat on the seat that rested against the window, looking out at the lit up gardens before your gaze lifted towards the stars. You thought back on the strange man, his words, a promise that nothing was going to harm you.

What had he meant? It was a strange thing to say to somebody but mixed with the uneasy feeling you had it made you suspect he knew something you didn’t. He seemed so unlike anybody here and yet you found yourself doing as he requested.

You found yourself trusting him.

So far he had been different but charming and he had been pleasant towards you, something you couldn’t say for anybody else. As much as you hated that your only options were marriage or confinement, you couldn’t help but think you wouldn’t have minded much marrying that man. He seemed anything but dull, he seemed like he was ready for something exciting and you wanted to join him.

The next two days passed without much happening, you didn’t feel that horrible, cold unease you had felt days before and almost wished for it when compared to how bored you were listening to the men drone on and on. 

By the time Sunday came, the day before the ball and two days before the wedding, you were just about ready to damn it all and run far, far away. You had noticed your strange man had been absent from all meals and you hadn’t bumped into him again, only catching passing glances at him, unable to stop the smile that pulled at your lips as he grinned and waved at you before running off to do whatever it was he did.

That night you couldn’t find sleep, instead you spent hours staring out of the window from your place in your bed. There was a feeling in the pit of your stomach, not unlike the one you had felt the other day in the hallway. You felt on edge, every little creak making you jump until you sighed and sat up, hesitating before climbing out of your bed and shrugging a coat on.

You slipped your feet into a pair of shoes and opened your door, holding your breath as you waited for something that never came. When you stepped out you couldn’t help but shiver, hesitating for a moment as you debated whether you should just go back to your room.

You shook your head and practically ran through the hallway, making your way out of the castle and avoiding the guards as you snuck outside. You let your feet lead the way, not paying too much attention to where you were going, not until you came upon a tree that towered over you. The tree was always in shades of reds and oranges, never green like every other trees, no matter the season it never lost its leaves or colour.

Underneath it was a gravestone, one that you hadn’t visited for a long time, one that hurt every time you so much as thought of it. Still you let yourself fall to your knees, brushing your fingers along the stone.

You didn’t say anything, what was there that could be said? Everything that would happen from tomorrow was as set in stone as your mother’s name was on the stone before you. Nothing could change it, no amount of wishes to the stars could change what your life was going to be like.

You couldn’t say for sure how long you sat there but a sudden cold breeze had you shivering, the air had been still and warm not a second earlier and you lifted your head to see a mist that had come from nowhere.

You felt your breathing start to quicken as you stood up, looking around the gardens and feeling cold to your bones. A noise form above had your head snapping up and your eyes widened at the figure that watched you.

It was hard to make out exactly what it was, the sky dark behind it but you could see the wings, black and red giant things that flapped ominously as the thing stared at you with cold, unblinking eyes. 

Your heart raced, beating so loud you were afraid it would beat right out of your chest. You couldn’t move either, frozen as still as a statute, only able to stare at the beast in the sky. You gasped when a phantom pressure tightened around your neck and you felt yourself struggling to breath, pained gasps escaping you.

You closed your eyes, unable to fight back and knowing you were going to die. That was until a warm hand took yours, seeming to break whatever had been holding you in place and when your eyes snapped open you turned to see your mystery man.

“Run.” He commanded and pulled you along after him.

You wasted no time and followed after him, letting him drag you all the way back to the castle and only stopped when the two of you arrived at your doors.

“Come on now,” He said, opening your door and gesturing for you to step inside. “In you go, that’s it.”

You entered your room and he followed in after you, an act that if it had been any other suitor and any other time would have had you calling the guards but right now he was where you wanted him to be.

You couldn’t explain it but you felt the safest place for you right now was wherever this man was.

“What was that thing?” You asked, hurrying over to your window and staring out at the night sky, not seeing anything there but the moon and stars.

“A creature I haven’t seen for a very long time.” The man said and you turned to look at him with wide eyes.

“You know of such beasts?” You exclaimed, moving over to the man. “Just who are you? You’re unlike any man I’ve ever met before.”

“Thank you.” He grinned before seeming to remember the beast and sighed. “Right now I’m the man who’s going to come up with a plan to save your life.”

“Save my life? What in the stars are you talking about?” You asked, feeling more confused and frightened than you had ever felt in your life. 

“That creature out there, it’s a Lonix. It’s a very old and very dangerous creature and for some reason it’s locked onto you.” He said causing you to frown, the man might as well have been speaking another language for how much of it you understood. 

“You’re mad.” You told him, watching as his face softened and he smiled sadly at you. “Completely and utterly mad, talking such nonsense.”

“I wish it was nonsense, Princess, believe me I do but right now you’re in a lot of danger and I don’t know how to stop it.” He told you, his words so brutally honest that you couldn’t even try and deny them any longer.

“Who are you?” You finally asked, eyes filling with tears that you struggled to keep at bay.

“I’m the Doctor and I’m going to help you.” He promised and you let out a sob, the Doctor pulling you into his arms and you let yourself cry into his chest.

“You said you don’t know how to stop it.” You finally managed to say, the words barely a whisper but you were close enough to the Doctor that he heard the words just fine.

“I don’t.” He told you, his voice matching yours. “But I’m going to stop it, that much I can promise you.”

You nodded into his chest before pulling away, rubbing at your eyes with the sleeve of your coat, taking a seat on the bed and looking towards the Doctor.

“You said it,” you said, shaking your head in disbelief before trying again. “You said this thing, this Lonix had locked onto me. What does that mean?”

“The Lonix is a creature that keeps itself alive by feeding off others but it can only do that by making deals.” The Doctor started, coming to take a seat next to you on the end of the bed as he continued. “It promises something and takes a life, then it comes back years later and takes another life.”

“I have never made such a deal.” You told him, looking at him and hoping he knew you were being honest.

The Doctor easily saw how scared you were and he took your hand in his, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb softly.

“I believe you but somebody did make a deal. What about your mum and dad? The deal could be years old, it could have been for anything.” The Doctor asked and you glanced away from him only for your head to snap up, wide eyes looking at him.

“You said the creature takes one life and then another years later.” You said, watching as the Doctor nodded. “My mother died when I was five years old. My father, he, he never told me how she died, only that she had passed in her sleep.”

“If they made a deal then the Lonix should be after your father, not you.” The Doctor murmured, more to himself than to you.

“Is it going to kill me too?” You asked once the silence became too much and the Doctor focused back on you again.

“No, listen to me, I am not going to let it get you, do you understand me? You’re going to be just fine.” He promised and you took a shaky breath before nodding, forcing yourself to believe his words because what other choice did you have. “I’m going to fix this, I promise.”

The Doctor left that night despite your protests and somehow you managed to get some sleep, though your dreams were filled with monstrous beings and the Doctor not being quick enough. 

It was strange waking up the next morning, knowing danger was close by and yet having to go about your morning as if nothing had changed. You spent most of the day preparing for the ball later that evening, no chance to see the Doctor as you were pulled this way and that, into one gown and then another. 

You wanted to see him though. He was the only suitor that you wanted to see, you hoped he was able to figure out how to deal with this Lonix, hoped that afterwards it could be him you married. 

Your thoughts stayed on the Doctor all day. Such a peculiar man, you were still not certain which Kingdom he came from and what a strange name, the Doctor, he had offered no more, nothing other than the Doctor. 

Last night had changed something in you, not just seeing that terrifying beast but the way the Doctor held you in his arms, the way he held your hand and promised you everything would be ok. Marrying the Doctor didn’t seem like such a chore the way it did when you thought about marrying any of the other men who thought they had a chance. Marrying the Doctor seemed like a lifetime of excitement and you had a feeling he wouldn’t keep you locked away from it but instead he’d introduce you to a world you could only dream of.

It seemed as though the stars, after all those years of wishing on them, had finally heard you and decided to answer your pleas in the form of the Doctor.

You walked into the ballroom after all the guests had arrived, standing at the top of the stairs and immediately scanned the busy room for the Doctor. Every other time you had tried to find him he had seemed to disappear but tonight he was here, gone was his brown coat and bizarre shoes and in their place was a black suit, a white shirt and black tie along with a shiny pair of black shoes. 

Your eyes stayed locked to his, a smile spreading across your face as he grinned at you, standing off to the side as you walked down the stairs. 

Immediately you were surrounded by suitors but you only had one person in mind. You pushed your way through the crowd, ignoring the shocked and offended gasps, coming to stand before the Doctor who’s smile softened as he looked at you.

“You look beautiful, Princess.” He murmured and you laughed softly, a blush coming to your cheeks.

“Thank you. You look rather handsome yourself, Doctor.” The Doctor opened his mouth to say something but the sound of music coming from the band interrupted him, the men around you talking over themselves as they tried to be the first to dance with you.

“May I?” The Doctor asked and you grinned at him, slipping your hand into his, the two of you laughing as the others complained amongst themselves.

You and the Doctor joined the dance floor, his hand going to your waist and yours resting on his shoulder as your other hands entwined with each other and the Doctor took the lead.

“Doctor, I hate to ruin such a moment but I must know-” You began but the Doctor cut you off.

“The Lonix. There’s a way to stop it.” The Doctor told you, still moving the two of you to the beat of the music, dancing together like you’d been doing it your whole lives. “The only way to stop it is to trap it. If it doesn’t kill you by the time the day ends then it dies.”

“How do we trap it?” You asked, staring at the Doctor with a mix of hope and fear in your eyes and the Doctor squeezed your hand softly.

“It’ll be easier if you’re with me. It’s you it wants, it’s you it’ll follow.” The Doctor told you and you took a deep shuddering breath. “You can stay here though, if you’d like, I can find another way to trap it. This thing is pure evil, feeding off people’s weakest moments and destroying them, I’d understand if you didn’t come.”

“I’m helping you.” You told him, trying to be firm even as your voice shook. “This creature, this monster killed my mother and it wants to kill me. No other family will suffer because of it.”

“I like you, Princess.” The Doctor murmured, a smile pulling at his lips and you chuckled softly.

“I like you too, Doctor. I can honestly say you’re the most exciting thing in my life.” You said and watched as he looked at you in disbelief.

“Come on now, you’re a Princess on a planet that’s full of exciting things.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his words, watching as his eyebrows knitted together.

“For most that’s true, for me though my father never lets me leave the castle. I haven’t left the castle grounds more than a handful of times since my mother died.” You told him softly, unsure why you trusted him to tell him things you’d never told anybody. “I wished for so long for something to change, for a life of adventure and excitement, one where I could explore and never be stuck in one place ever again. I’m just not sure the universe wants me to have that sort of life.”

“Oh I don’t believe that.” The Doctor grinned. “I think we were meant to find each other, Princess.”

You blushed at his words, looking towards where your hands were still tangled together before forcing your gaze back to him.

“I think I’d rather like that.” You murmured, both you and the Doctor pressing closer to each other, your eyes shifting from his down to his lips.

Before either of you could move there was a loud screeching sound and the whole castle seemed to shake. People around you started to scream, all looking around as they tried to figure out what was happening but your gaze stayed locked on the Doctor’s.

“Allons-y.” He grinned at you and before you had time to question the strange word he was pulling you along with him, his hand still tangled with yours.

He led you out into the grounds and didn’t stop running until the creature was in view. There was a determined look on his face as he suddenly stopped, the creature roaring and flying down towards you.

“Doctor.” You called, voice shaking as you gripped his hand tightly in yours. “Doctor, what are you doing?”

He turned to face you, pulling your gaze away from the Lonix as he cupped your cheeks in his hands, forcing you to look at him.

“Do you trust me?” He asked seriously and you didn’t even hesitate, it should have been a silly question, you’d only known the man for a few days and yet they had been the most memorable days of your whole life.

“Yes.” You answered honestly, without the slightest bit of doubt and the Doctor smiled at you.

“Good. Now remember what I said, I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” The Doctor promised and you nodded, putting your life in his hands.

Your breath caught in your throat as the creature flew towards you, your hand still holding the Doctor’s like it was your lifeline. The creature roared as it started its descent towards you and you held your breath, eyes scrunching shut as you waited for something to happen.

When nothing did happen you opened them and gasped at the creature in front of you, it was even bigger from up close. The Lonix thrashed against an invisible barrier, trying to break free but it was no use. 

“Told you I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.” The Doctor said, drawing your attention back to him and you turned towards him with a deep breath.

“That’s it? It can’t hurt me?” You asked, wincing as it shrieked in its cage.

“Nope, it can’t hurt anyone ever again.” The Doctor told you and you couldn’t stop yourself from throwing your arms around him, pulling him into a hug and letting a few tears of relief slid down your face.

“Thank you, Doctor.” You whispered into his chest as his arms came around you, holding you close to him and resting his head on top of yours.

“You’re most welcome, Princess.” The Doctor held you until you pulled away, his hands coming up to cup your cheeks again, wiping the few tears that had fallen. “You should probably get back to your party, wouldn’t want anybody to come looking and find this.”

“That would be difficult to explain.” You laughed softly. “Won’t you join me?”

The Doctor hesitated, looking over his shoulder before turning back to you.

“Of course, Princess.” The Doctor agreed softly, taking your hand back in his and leading you back to the ball which seemed to have continued, forgetting all about the events from before.

The Doctor let you pull him back out onto the dance floor, the two of you talking softly over the music, blocking out all the other suitors who desperately tried to pull you away from the Doctor but most had realised it was no use.

The night went on, you and the Doctor alternating between dancing and sitting alone at a table with drinks in your hand, the alcohol slowly working and making you feel tipsy and you let yourself lean into the Doctor, the Doctor not complaining in the slightest as he pulled you closer.

It wasn’t until a member of the staff finally broke through your bubble that you realised it wasn’t just you and the Doctor in the room. The woman nervously interrupted the two of you and told you your father wanted to see you. 

You excused yourself from the Doctor, letting the woman lead you to where your father stood frowning at you.

“Is everything ok, father?” You asked and watched him shake his head.

“Who is that man you’ve spent the entire evening with?” He demanded to know and this time it was your turn to frown. “He is no King or Prince!”

“What are you talking-” You began to say, looking over your shoulder to see the Doctor was nowhere to be seen. “Excuse me, father.” 

You ignore his protests, walking away from him and leaving the ballroom, making your way out of the castle, hoping the Doctor was just going to check on the creature considering it was past midnight. 

You saw him off in the distance, the creature nowhere to be seen and the Doctor looking as if he were leaving. That wouldn’t do at all, you had chosen him, he was the one you wanted. At first it had been a marriage of convenience but now you were glad of it. 

You liked the Doctor, you felt like you could spend forever with him. 

You followed him down, frowning as you tried to figure out where he was going when you watched him unlock a small blue box before he pushed the door open and went inside. You ran down the hill to catch up with him, most confused about what he was doing.

When you finally got to the box your frown deepened, what in the stars was he doing in there?

“Doctor?” You called, waiting a moment before touching the box, just as you did the door opened and you took a step back as the Doctor stepped out. “What are you doing?”

“Oh well, um, I just had things to check on.” The Doctor stammered and you looked at him as though he had grown another head.

“In a box?” You laughed in disbelief and the Doctor looked between you and the box. “The box doesn’t matter. Doctor, I just spoke with my father and he says he doesn’t know you, that you’re not one of my suitors? How can that be? You were invited here were you not? None of those other Kings or Princes stood a chance once I met you, it’s your bride I wish to be, not theirs.”

“Oh Princess.” The Doctor sighed, looking at you with warmth in his eyes. “I’m not a King, I’m not a Prince.”

“Then who are you? Why are you here if not for me?” You questioned, confused and a little bit devastated that it wasn’t him you could choose.

“Believe me, the only reason I’m here is for you. I’m sorry, I didn’t, I was more focused on the Lonix than those men in there.” The Doctor told you sadly.

“Who are you, Doctor?” You asked because you had always known he was different but you couldn’t begin to know how.

“I’m a Time Lord. This box is the TARDIS, it travels anywhere in time and space.” The Doctor told you, watching as your eyes widened and you shook your head in disbelief. “It’s true, look.”

The Doctor clicked his fingers and the door to the TARDIS flew open, your eyes followed the moment before looking back to the Doctor who gestured for you to enter. You hesitated before doing as he instructed, gasping as you walked in.

“It’s bigger on the inside!” You laughed, walking up to the console and running your fingers along it. “Doctor, it’s amazing!”

“I can take you somewhere, if you’d like.” The Doctor offered and you froze, staring at him with some much hope that it made him smile. “Anywhere you like, any time you like.”

“You mean it?” You whispered, taking a step towards him and the Doctor nodded, taking your hand in his as he spoke.

“I can show you the life you wished for, I can show you the stars you wished on.” He promised and how could you possibly say no to that. 

You didn’t hesitate to agree, unable to stop yourself from hugging him again, blinking away the tears in your eyes as you realised you were finally leaving the castle grounds and you didn’t have to marry a man you didn’t love to explore the universe.

“One trip to the stars, Princess.” The Doctor grinned and you couldn’t help but laugh as he moved around the console, flicking switches and pulling leavers as he went.

The stars were beautiful, you happily listened to the Doctor tell you all about them, getting lost in both the stars and the Time Lord for hours. The one promised trip turned into two, the Doctor insisting you had to see the festival of lights on Luiria which really were the most beautiful sight, the Doctor would have agreed but he’d spent more time watching you than the lights and that was a far better sight. After that he couldn’t let you leave until you’d visited Oaphus and then of course there was Vaetis.

“Hey Doctor?” You said to him one night as the two of you wandered the streets of Noavis after watching a play, the Doctor’s hand in yours, his thumb brushing softly against the back of your hand every once in a while.

“Yeah?” He answered, tilting his head to look at you with a smile, you’d never been able to stop yourself smiling back at the man.

“How long can I stay with you?” You asked him, watching his smile widen as he pulled his hand from yours to drape his arm over your shoulders to pull you closer.

“For as long as you want.” He murmured and you lifted your head to look up at him.

“Forever?” You asked and the Doctor laughed, a laugh full of happiness as his eyes crinkled with how wide he smiled at you.

“Forever sounds perfect, Princess.” He told you, pressing a kiss to your hair and you couldn’t help but agree.

Forever did sound perfect.

10th Doctor Taglist (Click the link in my bio to add yourself!) - 

@ajordan2020, @nyx2021, @etanordoesbullsh1t, @book-fic-reader, @buckystrash, @queen-who, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @kodiakwhiskey, @alexxavicry, @instabull, @rosesinmars, @freeshavocadoooo, @audrie-bryant, @leothesquishy, @yeehawbrothers

Thank you so much for reading!🤎

Hey there I was looking through tumblr at some prompt lists and found “You need to leave.” Do you think you could maybe do that with the tenth Doctor, I don't know if you write for him because you haven't posted a fic for him but he's on your tag list so I thought I'd ask. Something with angst please. Thank you:)

Hey! No problem, this is my first time writing for 10 so I hope you enjoy it 🤎

Not Leaving You

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Prompt - "You need to leave."

Requested - anon

The Doctor never said more about his past than he had to. Most of the people who travelled with him never asked too many questions, too caught up in the life that came with knowing the Doctor to ask about who he really was. When they did ask he gave them just enough to stop asking. 

He didn’t know what was different about you. When you asked he found he didn’t mind sharing a part of himself with you, a part of himself that nobody else knew. He couldn’t say for sure why because it ached his hearts terribly to talk about a life long gone but it was a little bit easier with you at his side.

You were a curious thing too, he’d lost count of how many times he’d lost you, you wandering off, too distracted by something or other and ready with a million and one questions by the time the Doctor finally did find you.

He knew sooner or later you’d be curious about him too, once you found out he had two hearts that had taken up about a week’s worth of conversation, you asking questions about Time Lords and what else was different about them, not knowing that there were no more Time Lords out there and missing the sad look that the Doctor forced off his face.

He had taken you to a planet he had found many, many years ago, one that made his chest feel warm and a smile pull on his face as you repeated the name after him, the word Zirafell sounding as beautiful as the planet itself coming from your lips. He had never shown it to anyone before but there was something so extraordinarily different about you that he wanted to share all his hiding spots and secrets with you.

The two of you were sitting in the field, the TARDIS parked not too far away. The grass was littered with little pink and blue flowers and a lilac lake glistened under the two suns in front of you.

“Where are you from anyway?” You asked softly, breaking the peaceful silence that had settled between you causing the Doctor to look at you in surprise but you kept your gaze on the lake.

“Me? Oh nowhere really.” The Doctor answered after a few beats of silence, watching as a frown pulled at your face.

“Everyone’s from somewhere.” You told him, finally turning to face him and seeing the discomfort on his face. You wondered whether to push it but before you could decide the Doctor spoke again.

“Not me. Not anymore.” The Doctor sighed and you stayed silent for a moment, just looking at him.

His gaze was on something just passed your shoulder, refusing to look at you as his mind played memories from long before you could even imagine. You wanted to know what he was thinking about though, wanted to know what put that sort of look on a person's face. 

“You could always go back home.” You told him, keeping your voice soft.

The Doctor looked back at you, a sad smile spreading across his face. You hadn’t seen that smile in a while, of course you’d seen it plenty when you’d first met him. A sad man sitting alone looking like his whole world had fallen apart around him and there was nothing he could do about it.

It took some time but eventually he told you about the people he’d lost and how travelling with him was dangerous. He had told you he’d take you home, that he’d understand if you wanted to leave but you just wrapped your arms around him, pulling him in for a hug, smiling into his chest when he gripped you tight.

“Not even I can do that.” The Doctor laughed softly, no amusement in it as he turned to look out at the lake. He never wanted to talk about it, about all that pain and suffering, about what he had done and yet sat here with you, he wanted you to know that sad, angry, lonely part of him. 

“My home’s long gone, Y/N.” The Doctor said after a long silence where you had figured he wasn’t going to share anything with you. “It was a beautiful place, you’d have loved it. I’d love to have shown you. The Time Lords, my people, the universe was so much brighter with them in it. People would cheer when they saw one and now, now they’re gone, my planet’s gone.”

“What happened to it?” You asked, voice barely above a whisper as you looked at him, his eyes glazed over. 

“There was a war.” He told you, swallowing around a lump in his throat. “It doesn’t matter, but nobody won that day. Nobody ever really wins I suppose. Everyone died. Everyone but me.”

When you first saw the Doctor, before you knew who he was, you just referred to him as the sad man. Watching him now you couldn’t think of a better way to describe him, the sad man, the sad man who was all alone in the universe, the sad man who had lived through the destruction of his whole planet, his whole race.

The sad man with a magical box who spent his life bringing hope everywhere he went.

“The last of the Time Lords.” You murmured, remembering what a woman from several months back had hissed to him, at the time the Doctor brushed it off when you asked questions, now you knew why. 

“The last of the Time Lords.” The Doctor agreed just as quietly and neither of you said anything else, there was nothing left to say so you rested your head on his shoulder, his coming to rest on top of yours as the two of you stared ahead at the lilac water.

From that day onwards you and the Doctor were closer than ever, he shared more of his life with you and you found yourself falling a little bit more for the man as each day passed. It was a dangerous thing to do, falling in love with the Doctor and yet you let yourself fall, not bothering to question if he would catch you but enjoying the fall while it lasted.

You felt closer with the Doctor than you had with anyone you had known back home, not a single day went by where you regretted leaving, regretted choosing the Doctor over your old life. You knew you’d make the same choice over and over again. You could never give the Doctor up.

Months passed since that day, months where you and the Doctor would spend your nights floating through the galaxy, legs hanging over the TARDIS door as the Doctor told you about the different stars and planets that surrounded you with such fondness, months were he took your hand in yours and you couldn’t help but smile, savouring the feeling of his thumb running softly across the back of your hand as he pulled you along, tugging you back to him when you went to wander off. Months were you and the Doctor traded secrets in the quiet of the night, things that you’d never have dreamed of sharing with anyone else and yet knowing the whispered words were safe with each other.

“You’ll love this one, Y/N/N!” The Doctor told you with an excited grin on his face, hurrying you to put your coat on causing you to laugh before he finally grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the TARDIS, pausing long enough to lock the box before the two of you were off.

“Welcome to Thucruiruta.” The Doctor beamed at you and you couldn’t help the gasp that escaped you as you finally looked around.

The planet was beautiful, the sky was golden and all sorts of creatures were moving around you, so many things demanded your attention and the thing that won it was the Doctor squeezing your hand.

“It’s beautiful, Doctor.” You breathed out, watching as the Doctor’s grin softened and you didn’t even try and stop yourself from smiling back, leaning into him before letting him lead the way.

The Doctor was eager to show you everything, used to your curiosity and the hundreds of questions you came up with, more than happy to show off and answer them, making his way through the stands and insisting you try all the different foods on display. 

It was hard to imagine such a perfect day taking a turn but you had also gotten used to trouble following the Doctor by now, so when an explosion sounded not too far in the distance you immediately turned to the Doctor, waiting for him to do something.

It didn’t take him more than a second to grab your hand, pulling you into the heart of the danger and you went along with him willingly. You knew you always would, you never gave it a second thought, you knew that you would always follow the Doctor no matter where he went.

You gasped as you took in the scene, people were scattered all over the floor, some crying out and others not moving at all. You gripped the Doctor’s hand in yours and he squeezed back before moving further into the chaos, looking around for some clue as to what had happened.

There was a child on the floor, a deep cut in their green skin as blue blood poured from it. You pulled your hand from the Doctor’s and made your way to the child’s side as the Doctor pulled the sonic screwdriver out to try and find what had caused the explosion. 

“You alright?” You asked softly, pulling your jacket off and using a sharp bit of rubble to rip the end of your shirt in lieu of a bandage. 

“Hurts.” The kid whimpered and you gave her an encouraging smile, warning her it might sting as you tied the torn material around her arm as tightly as you could.

“Good job, that’ll be good until we can get you to your family.” You told her standing up and holding a hand out for her, pulling her up by her uninjured arm and looking around. “Where was your family?”

You watched as she pointed the way you had come from, away from where the explosion was and you glanced over your shoulder to see the Doctor glaring down at the sonic, a furious expression you couldn’t ever remember seeing on his face that sent a shiver down your spine.

“Come on then, let’s see if we can find them.” You said, pulling your gaze from the Doctor and forcing the uneasy feeling you suddenly felt in the pit of your stomach away, leading the young girl away from the scene.

Even in the sea of screams and shouts for friends and family you managed to find the young girl's family quite easily, her mum falling to her knees and wrapping her arms around her daughter, mindful of her arm after she winced. 

You stayed long enough for the family to thank you tearfully and the girl to hug you before you pushed your way through the crowd and looked around for the Doctor, frowning when you couldn’t see him.

You made your way further into where the explosion had gone off, gasping when something sharp dug into your arm, looking to your left to see a tall figure beside you, sharp teeth visible as the thing grinned down at you and pushed you forward, dragging you alongside it and not even pausing as you fought back against it.

There was a slimy sort of wet texture to the creature and you couldn’t stop yourself from wincing as it’s nails drew blood from you, the thing snarling the whole time until it pushed you onto the floor and you were staring at sharper nails and blue feet, looking up to see more than a dozen of the things standing together.

“Let her go.” The Doctor’s voice sent a wave of relief through you and your head snapped around to look at him. “Now.”

The Doctor’s voice was cold, so devoid of any emotion that it scared you. The creatures, however, didn’t seem at all phased by him and instead laughed at the Doctor.

“The Doctor always was too fond of the humans.” One of the creatures laughed, sending a wave of spit flying from his mouth. “Too bad he can never save his precious little pets.”

That seemed to hit a nerve with the Doctor and you had heard the stories of his past companions, of how much danger they had been put in simply by being with him. You knew it was scarred on his two hearts, every loss, every defeat, every life lost, every life he blamed himself for.

“The Doctor’s not good at saving anybody.” Another one called, amusement clear in its voice, “Poor little Doctor, all alone, no Time Lords around anymore.”

The creatures all laughed together and you winced as you watched fury take over the Doctor. It seemed these creatures had history with the Doctor, at the very least they knew exactly what buttons to press to tear him apart.

The Doctor looked different, he didn’t look like the Doctor you had seen every day, he looked like a whole different person. Cold fury in his eyes, mouth set in a thin line and his knuckles bone white from the grip he had on the sonic.

“You will let her go and you will leave this planet.” The Doctor told them, voice low and commanding the attention of everyone.

You could only stare at him, fear in your eyes, not sure who you were more afraid of in that moment. Usually you could read the Doctor easily, always seeming to know what his next step was but right then, in that moment you didn’t know what he was going to do.

“Or what, Doctor?” One of them spat but you didn’t bother looking behind at them, keeping your gaze on the Doctor. “The last time we met you were a coward, what’s changed?”

“What’s changed?” He shot back, taking a step forward and you felt your breath catch in your throat at his tone. “What’s changed? The last time I showed you mercy. That was a mistake. I won’t make the same one twice. Now leave.”

“Or what?” It asked again, tone hard as the creatures refused to move.

“Or I’ll burn this entire planet with you on it.” The Doctor said without hesitation and your eyes widened, staring at him in shock.

“You wouldn’t, the Doctor wouldn’t harm innocents, not in the name of revenge.” One of them laughed but it sounded nervous, like it didn’t believe its own words and looking at the fury on the Doctor’s face you had to agree with it.

“Do you really want to test that theory?” The Doctor asked, the silence stretching as the creatures all looked at each other. “All I have to do is press this button and you’ll be dead before you realise it.”

The Doctor held the sonic up and you shook your head, not that he was looking at you but you couldn’t believe him. He wasn’t bluffing, he wasn’t improvising whilst he came up with a plan to deal with this without harming anybody. He was being deadly serious.

You were terrified of the man before you. He wasn’t the Doctor, not the Doctor you knew anyway.

“Liar!” A creature yelled and the Doctor gave it an unimpressed look before going to press the button but you stood up before he could.

“Don’t!” You shouted, reaching a hand out like one would around a scared animal, locking eyes with the Doctor for the first time since you’d been pushed onto the floor. “Don’t.”

“Y/N, you don’t know what these are.” The Doctor told you, his thumb hovering dangerously close to the button on the sonic. 

“I don’t care. This isn’t you, you’re the Doctor! People look to you for hope, you’re not a murderer, don’t do this! Don’t become them.” You pleaded with him but his face was still set with cold fury and you feared there was no changing his mind.

“Get to the TARDIS and don’t look back.” He instructed and you immediately shook your head.

“No.” You told him. “No, I’m not letting you do this. There are millions of innocent people on this planet and you will not destroy them for whatever grudge you’re holding.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, you need to leave. Now get on the TARDIS, Y/N!” The Doctor snapped and you felt tears sting your eyes but held your ground.

“No. If you’re going to burn this planet you’ll do it with me on it.” You said, voice shaking as tears made their way over your eyes, hating that you didn’t know what the Doctor was going to do.

“Get on the TARDIS.” The Doctor commanded through gritted teeth but you shook your head again.

“I already told you I’m not leaving.” You told him, blinking away the tears as they carried on running down your face.

The Doctor held your gaze, the small part of him that wasn’t consumed with anger and hatred felt guilt and hurt as you looked at him like you were terrified, like he was the monster instead of the creatures behind you. 

“Leave.” He spat out, not taking his gaze of you as he addressed the creatures. “Get off this planet and if I ever see you again I won’t show a shred of mercy.”

The creatures wasted no time scurrying away, hurrying over to their ships and taking off just as quickly, leaving you and the Doctor staring at each other. Just as the Doctor opened his mouth, you cut him off.

“Take me home.” You told him, suddenly feeling drained.

“Y/N,” he sighed but you just shook your head at him, moving past him and making your way back towards where the TARDIS was parked, using your key to unlock the box and letting yourself in.

The Doctor sighed to himself, rubbing a hand across his face before pocketing the sonic and following after you, desperately trying to think how he could salvage this. He hadn’t wanted to let himself fall for you but over the year and the months you’d spent at each other’s side he couldn’t help it.

Now he was losing you because he had held onto a grudge from so many years back.

The anger had taken over him to the point he couldn’t control himself but you could, you stopped him even when he didn’t think he could be stopped.

When he walked into the TARDIS you were sitting in one of the chairs, looking away from him as he quietly worked on setting a course for Earth, hoping you would change your mind before you got there.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, watching you closely. He could tell you were listening but you didn’t say anything. 

“Those creatures, Y/N…” He trailed off and you finally looked over at him, seeing him take a deep breath before he spoke again. “Those creatures are called Eelvo’s. I met them a long time ago, long before I had this face. I lost somebody because of them and I let them go.”

“You don’t kill people.” You told him, your voice quiet but firm and the Doctor sighed as he came and sat next to you. 

“I have bad days, Y/N. Days where I am not a good man.” The Doctor told you, ashamed of himself, ashamed that you had seen him like that. He had never wanted that.

“Doctor, today I was more scared of you than any of those other things.” You said softly, glancing at the Doctor as he shut his eyes and swallowed thickly around a lump in his throat, fighting back tears.

The last thing he had ever wanted was for you to be scared of him.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know what happened, seeing them again after so long, seeing the destruction they were still causing, the pain and lives they were still taking…” The Doctor trailed off, a single tear making its way down his cheek.

You sighed softly, reaching over to take his hand in yours and giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. You were still unsure, still hadn’t liked seeing the Doctor so furious but he was still the Doctor, he was your Doctor again and seeing him in pain was the last thing you wanted.

“I’m sorry, Y/N/N, I never wanted you to hate me.” He whispered, his voice breaking around the words and you felt your heart break with them.

“I don’t hate you, Doctor.” You told him honestly, “I’ve never seen you like that and I didn’t like it but I don’t hate you. I’m not sure I could ever hate you.”

The Doctor smiled over at you sadly and you returned it, squeezing his hand again.

“I’ll take you home.” He whispered and you frowned, you had asked him to take you home but the thought of actually leaving the Doctor behind sent an ache through you.

“How about Zirafell instead?” You asked him, a small smile pulling at your lips as he looked over at you in surprise. 

“You sure?” He asked, a hopeful note in his voice and you nodded, watching as his shoulders lost the tension in them and he let out a small breath, nodding himself before standing up and moving around the console to change the course, hoping that the two of you would be alright. 

10th Doctor Taglist (Click the link in my bio to add yourself!) - 

@ajordan2020, @nyx2021, @etanordoesbullsh1t, @book-fic-reader, @buckystrash, @queen-who, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @kodiakwhiskey, @alexxavicry, @instabull, @rosesinmars, @freeshavocadoooo, @audrie-bryant, @leothesquishy, @etanordoesbullsh!t

Thank you so much for reading!

Hey! I saw you're writing for speak now tv and i'm wondering if you'd write about bucky with timeless... he is the first character i thought of when i heard the song for the 1st time

Hey!!

Literally same when I first listened my mind went straight to Bucky, I hope you enjoy it💜

Timeless

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Prompt - ‘Cause I believe that we were supposed to find this. So, even in a different life, you still would've been mine, we would've been timeless.’

Notes - The timeline is messed up but that’s ok! Also, nobody cares but omg I got tickets to the Eras Tour!!! 

It was early when Bucky forced himself out of his bed, taking a moment to just sit up and massage his temples, desperately trying to stop the headache that seemed near constant at this point. He figured it was expected though, not enough time had passed since he had managed to escape HYDRA and most days he could still feel the Winter Soldier so clearly in his mind, fighting to obey commands and return to the handlers.

Bucky couldn’t let that happen though, he had spent too much time planning his escape, too much work trying to build something new after months of hiding. He couldn’t even remember exactly when he had formed his plan, only that he hadn’t been in the chair for a while, the handlers thought they had wiped away any remaining traces of Bucky and were only left with the Soldier.

So Bucky played along, he swallowed down the sickness he felt stinging at his throat and obeyed every command given to him until he was able to make his escape. From there he had been running ever since, knowing HYDRA would always be looking for their greatest weapon.

He had finally settled though, running from country to country until he came back to the States, finding his way back to New York.

Slowly his memory had started coming back to him, being out of the chair and on the run had meant more and more came back. Most of the time he couldn’t quite make them out, too jumbled up to connect but he liked to cling to them anyway, they always made him feel safe and he’d take them over the nightmares of his days as the Winter Soldier any day.

He went back to Brooklyn, let himself wander the streets and smiled as small snippets flashed through his mind. More often than not there was a boy, a skinny thing who was always ready for anything, Bucky couldn’t remember his name but he knew he loved the boy like he was his brother.

Then there was a girl. In the memories there was the prettiest girl Bucky had ever seen, he hoped he’d remember her more, he had too. Every time he managed to remember a memory with the girl in it he felt lighter than he had in years, a weight lifting off his shoulders whenever he pictured her smile.

The first thing Bucky had done once he had worked enough odd jobs to rent an apartment was force himself into a morning routine. The first few weeks he had just stayed in bed, alone with the memories of what he had done. He had known it couldn’t carry on that way, he had to do something. So he forced his body into the shower every morning, wiping away the sweat from the previous night’s nightmares before getting dressed and walking the streets of Brooklyn.

Bucky never had a real destination in mind when he left his apartment, preferring to just pick a direction and see if he could remember anything new that day. Today he turned left when he walked out and let himself get lost in the Brooklyn streets.

He let himself walk for a while, there were no new memories but Bucky didn’t mind. It was nice to be able to just walk around by himself for as long as he wanted, no expectations, no commands, no handlers waiting for him and no chair to take away the new memories he did have that he desperately gripped onto.

He didn’t know just how long he had been walking for when he came across a small building in the middle of a row of stores. It was easy to miss, the dark wood was only half the length of the bricked building next to it. He didn’t know what it was about the store that caught his eyes but something was telling him to keep walking towards it.

When he finally came to a stop outside of it he could see through the large window letting the morning light in. Bucky looked through it at relics that looked as old as he was. He stayed where he was for a long moment, just looking before something in him told him to go in and he let himself listen to it.

When he walked into the shop a small bell chimed above his head and he smiled at the old man who was busy behind the counter before he let the door fall shut behind him and he walked around, his fingers trailing along the surfaces.

He made his way to a room in the back where his eyes caught a box, the lid propped open with a handwritten sign taped to it, telling him it was photographs in there worth twenty-five cent each. He didn’t know why a smile pulled at his lips or why he reached down to pull them out but his smile widened when he saw a picture of a woman.

The picture was black and white and a bride beamed up at him, a veil on her head and a bouquet of flowers in her hands. Something about the photograph made Bucky’s heart clench, something familiar that he couldn’t quite place his finger on.

“Come on, doll!” Bucky grinned as he circled around you so he was walking backwards and in front of you. “Say you’ll do it!”

Bucky froze, looking down at the picture as a memory played out before him, he could see it so clearly. It was the girl, the girl he couldn’t remember but so desperately wanted to know, he wanted to know who she was more than anything.

“We can’t!” You laughed, grabbing his hand and making him walk properly after he bumped into a man, shouting an apology over your shoulder as he cursed. “Bucky, don’t be ridiculous!”

“I’m not, c’mon you know you want to.” Bucky moved in front of you again, crouching down so he was eye level with you, pouting and giving you his best puppy dog eyes causing you to laugh again, pushing his shoulder and leaving his trailing after you. “Hey, I'm serious about this.”

“We can’t get married, Bucky!” You laughed again causing Bucky to groan loudly, drawing stares from others around you but neither of you noticed, both too focused on each other.

“Of course we can. C’mon Y/N/N, say you’ll marry me, pretty please.” Your laughter was like music to Bucky’s ears even if it was in response to his pleas to marry him. “We’ll go right down to the court house now, pick you up a pretty dress and be married by the end of the day.”

“How about this, you come back to me and then I’ll marry you.” You countered, the smile falling from your face slightly with the reminder of what was coming.

“You promise?” Bucky smiled, pausing in the middle of the street, taking your chin between his finger and thumb to lift your head to his.

“I promise.” You told him, smiling as he leaned down to kiss you.

He married you? He knew he had to have cared about you, he knew he felt something for you but he had married you? He hoped his past self knew how lucky he was, he’d have done anything now to know you.

“I came back.” Bucky whispered into your ear as you practically flung yourself at him, sobbing into his chest as he held you close, one arm around your waist, the other cupping the back of your head.

“You came back.” You cried against him and Bucky felt his heart break, the whole time he’d be gone the only thing he could think about was how he hadn’t made it back to you.

“I promised, didn’t I?” He murmured into your hair and he felt you nod, tightening his grip on you before pulling away far enough to cup your cheek. “I seem to remember you had a promise of your own to keep.”

He watched as you smiled and it was all he needed, suddenly he was holding back his own tears and dragging you back to him, his lips meeting you in a desperate kiss. He truly hadn’t known if he was ever going to make his way back to you but you hadn’t doubted it, you and Bucky always seemed to find your way back to each other.

“So what d’ya say, Y/N, will you marry me?” He asked after he pulled back, watching as your lips pulled into a beaming smile even as tears still poured down your cheeks, you nodding wildly at him as you huffed out a laugh.

“Of course I’ll marry you.” You told him and Bucky couldn’t help but grin right back at you before leaning in for another kiss.

Bucky felt a smile pull at his lips in the present time, smiling down at the picture of the bride as another memory came back to him.

Bucky couldn’t take his eyes off of you as the doors opened and you came into view. At his side he heard Steve let out a gasp and he couldn’t help but agree, you were breathtaking. He couldn’t believe how lucky he had been to find you, to have you walking down the aisle to him, wanting to marry him.

God, he loved you so much.

He couldn’t remember much of the actual wedding, too busy taking in every little detail of you. Hearing the words ‘I do’ fall from your lips nearly sent him to his knees.  

Bucky didn’t realise he was crying until the woman’s face became blurred through his tears and he took a deep breath, steading himself as he leafed through the photographs. He paused again when he saw one of a couple clinging to each other, the girl had her head buried in the guy's neck and he was holding her tight against him.

You were looking over Bucky with watery eyes. He felt his heart break as he messed with the tie of his uniform, looking at you through the mirror as you took a silent breath before you stood up. You brushed Bucky’s hands away and took over, tying the tie properly around his neck and smoothing it against his chest.

Once you were done Bucky took your hands in his and brought them up to his lips, placing soft kisses against your knuckles.

“Smile for me, doll.” Bucky pleaded, watching as you scrunched your eyes shut to stop the tears from slipping past them and shook your head. “C’mon Y/N/N, it’s my last night, let’s have a good time, yeah?”

“I don’t want you to go.” You told him shakily, opening your eyes and cursing yourself when one tear managed to slip down your cheek but Bucky was quick to cup your cheek, a gentle thumb brushing it away, careful not to smudge your makeup.

“I know but I’ll be back, I promise.” He told you and watched as you shook your head again, trying to pull away from him but Bucky refused to let you go.

“You can’t promise that, Buck.” You told him, bottom lip wobbling as you desperately tried not to cry.

“Yeah I can, I’ve got my girl waiting right here for me, waiting to marry me the second I get back, you can bet I’m coming back to her.” Bucky smiled down at you and you couldn’t help the choked laugh that escaped you.

Whilst you were out it was easy to forget Bucky would be leaving. With his arms around you, him leaning in to kiss you in the middle of the room without a care in the world, it felt like any other day.

Until it came time for Bucky to leave. You stayed back as you watched him say goodbye to Steve, wrapping the smaller man in a hug before pulling away to salute him. Your eyes filled with tears for what felt like the millionth time today, at this point you were so tired of crying but knew it wouldn’t get any better with Bucky leaving.

You watched as he jogged over to you, his smile faded but still in place knowing he had to be brave for you.

The two of you walked hand in hand, neither of you saying anything as you walked down the street. Bucky was shipping out in the early hours and the two of you agreed it would be better to say your goodbyes tonight.

“I’m really gonna miss you baby.” Bucky told you as you came to a stop.

“You promise you’ll come back?” You asked shakily, looking up at him.

Bucky nodded before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips, holding you close to him and trying his hardest to convey how much he loved you into one kiss.

“I promise you, Y/N/N, I’ll be back before you know it and I’m gonna write you letters every single night whilst I’m gone.” Bucky swore, leaning his forehead against yours and watching as you were unable to stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks.

“I love you so much, Bucky.” You choked out, throwing your arms around his shoulders and burying your face in his neck.

Bucky felt his strength leaving him and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him in the middle of the crowded street, not paying any mind to anyone else but you.

“I love you too, Y/N, so, so much.” Bucky told you, murmuring the words into your hair.

Bucky didn’t know how long the two of you stood there but eventually you had to pull away. Bucky cupped your cheeks and gently wiped your tears away before pulling you in for one last kiss that left you both breathless.

“I’m gonna miss you so much.” You told him and Bucky smiled brightly at you.

“I’m gonna miss you like crazy, doll. I’ll be home as soon as I can.” Bucky told you, pressing a kiss to your forehead before hailing a cab for you.

“I love you.” You told him as you pulled him in for a final hug, squeezing him just a bit tighter than usual as you tried to convince yourself he’d be alright.

“I love you too, baby, so much.” Bucky said as he hugged you back, not letting any tears fall until your cab disappeared from view.

The tears leaked from Bucky’s eyes as he remembered you, remembered having to leave you behind, remembered having to be strong for you even when he didn’t know if he would make it back to you. He remembered the moment he truly thought he wouldn’t make it back to you. Finally coming home and having you in his arms felt as close to heaven as Bucky would ever come.

He wiped at his eyes before flicking through the next few pictures.

He had to stop and smile when another photograph caught his eye and he could so clearly see you and him where the teenage couple stood in a driveway, their hands entwined with a note on the back that said school dance, 1958.

“Come on you two, just a few more!” Bucky’s mom insisted and the two of you couldn’t help but groan since she’d said the same thing a half hour ago.

“Mom, we gotta go, we’re gonna be late.” Bucky told her but she just shook her head and waved him off.

“Come on, none of that now. You’ll want to remember this night, let me take a few more.” She said and Bucky just looked at you apologetically causing you to laugh.

“A few more won’t hurt.” You said, causing her to smile and usher you and Bucky together.

Bucky grinned as he held a hand out to you and you couldn’t help but return it and you threaded your fingers through his and turned towards the camera.

“You look beautiful.” Bucky whispered before turning towards his mom too, looking at you out of the corner of his eyes just as the flash went off to see your smile brighten at his words.

“Now you two have a lovely night, Bucky make sure she gets home safe.” His mom reminded him and Bucky had to resist the urge to roll his eyes as everyone knew he walked you home first no matter how much you insisted he didn’t need to.

Bucky remembered that night, the two of you had spent hours dancing together until the dance was over. When he walked you home he remembered thinking he loved you for the first time, stopping outside your house to kiss you and nearly saying those words but not being brave enough.

He missed you. He missed you so much. He’d had a whole life with you, he’d married his girl and he’d left her alone.

He’d left you alone.

You’d lived all these years thinking that he had died. He had died after promising you he’d be home. He’d forgotten who you were, forgotten how loved he had been and how much love he had for you.

He wiped his tears and moved away from the photographs, not sure he could stand to look through them anymore even if they had unlocked a flood of memories.

He remembered being away in the war, reading your letters was the only thing that got him through most of his days and when he wrote his back to you he tried to hide as much of the bad as he could, over exaggerating in his stories hoping that they’d make you smile.

He really hoped they made you smile.

He was meant to have a lifetime with you. He was meant to love you until you were both old and grey. He was meant to have kids with you and be there for you every day of your lives.

The two of you should have had so much longer together. Just when he thought he couldn’t hate HYDRA any more he was shown the life he could have had, torn away from him like everything else had been.

Bucky left the old antique shop with tears in his eyes and a bundle of photographs tied together with brown string.

Days passed and Bucky wasn’t great with the newest technology, give him any weapon and he’d know how to use it in minutes, give him a computer and he was clueless. Eventually though he managed to figure it out and he was walking up the steps of an apartment complex.

His hand shook as he raised it, knocking on the door and waiting anxiously. When the door finally opened he was left breathless.

You couldn’t help but stare, mouth falling open as you looked at the person at your door.

“There’s my girl.” Bucky said shakily, watching as your mouth opened and closed as you tried to make sense of what was happening.

“Bucky?” You finally managed to choke out, the man you had spent all these years missing was at your front door, not looking a day older than the last time you’d seen him.

“Promised I’d come back.” He told you, tears stinging his eyes as he looked at you. You were just as beautiful as he remembered, eyes still as bright.

He couldn’t help but regret that you were older, not that you were older but that he hadn’t been there to grow old with you.

“How are you here?” You asked, still in complete disbelief and not entirely sure this was real.

“It’s a long story.” He told you honestly, not even sure where he’d start. “You look beautiful, Y/N.”

“You look the same as you did all those years ago.” You said, letting out a huff of disbelief. “But at least you kept your promise.”

You gestured for him to come in and it wasn’t long before the two of you were sitting on the sofa. Bucky pulled you into his arms, burying his face in your hair, still amazed he had managed to find you.

His hand brushed over yours and he paused when he felt something, looking down he couldn’t help but frown as he saw a wedding ring around your finger. He was happy you had found somebody, truly he was, but it should’ve been him.

“It’s yours.” You told him and he looked at you questioningly. “It’s your ring.”

“You kept wearing it? After all these years?” Bucky asked in disbelief and it was your turn to smile.

“I never took it off once. It’s impossible to move on from you, Bucky, not that I ever tried.” You chuckled softly and he stared at you in amazement. “I promised to love you to the end of my days, I keep my promises too.”

“I love you so much, Y/N/N.” Bucky whispered as he pressed his forehead to yours. “I’m so, so sorry, doll. I should’ve been here, all these years we should have been making so many memories together.”

“It’s alright.” You murmured, threading your hand with his. “It was a good life, I kept you alive. You were with me with everything I did.”

“I’ve missed you like crazy.” Bucky told you and you laughed, nodding against him.

“You’ve got no idea.” You said, still completely in shock that he was here with you again. “What happened, Bucky?”

Bucky took a deep breath, by the end of his story the pair of you had tear stained cheeks and cuddled closer together, neither able to let the other go after finally having each other back after so long.

“I’m sorry it took so long to find you.” Bucky said as he wiped the tears from your cheeks gently and you smiled, leaning into his touch.

“We always find our way back to each other eventually.” You told him, remembering all those years of growing up and arguing, the fights and the make ups.

No matter what happened between you and Bucky you would always find each other, you were made for each other, forced back together, no matter how much time had passed.

You had spent a lifetime missing Bucky Barnes, a lifetime keeping his memory alive. For years the only things you had to remember him was a cardboard box you kept in your room, photographs of the two of you together, first days of school, first school dances, a picture somebody took as he spun you around, pictures taken of you kissing and dancing. You had the letters you had saved and treasured from his time in the war, words of love and promises that had carried you through the years without him.

“We really were made for each other, huh?” Bucky said with a grin and you couldn’t help but beam back at him, nodding along. “Always supposed to find each other no matter what.”

“I’m glad you found me.” You whispered and Bucky let himself lean in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, feeling the weight that always seemed to rest so heavily on his shoulders melt away for the first time since he came back to himself.

“Not leaving you again, I promise.” Bucky murmured as he pulled away and shifted to pull you against him, content to hold you close and let himself enjoy the feeling of being home for the first time in a very long time.

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Thank you so much for reading!💜

sparks fly for matt murdock??🙏 pls i need this in my life

yes!! tysm for requesting💜

I hope you like it!!💜

Sparks Fly

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Prompt - ‘I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild.’

Warnings / This fic contains smut - you can skip it if you want, you won’t miss anything!💜

Notes - Happy Speak Now month! Request a fic for any of the remaining Speak Now tracks, click my masterlist to see which songs are left!!💜

The problem with Matt Murdock was that you had known from the moment you had met him that he was a bad idea. At first he had been all pleasant smiles and soft words but once you had gotten to know him his words turned flirty and his smiles were charmingly attractive. You were glad for the fact he couldn’t see you, glad for the fact he could never witness you blush under his gaze, see as you shifted in your seat or watch the way your breath hitched when he stood too close.

Everything about Matt was a bad idea, falling for him was the worst one though. As much as that man loved flirting with you and everyone else in his general vicinity, you knew at the first sign of real feelings he would run and hide, ignoring it because he was so scared of something you didn’t understand.

You’d met Matt by chance, running into Foggy first after your boss rented out the office space opposite theirs and he invited you inside. The two of you were fast friends but meeting Matt, letting his hand wrap around yours as he introduced himself, feeling sparks between you, you had known then and there it was a bad idea to stick around Nelson and Murdock and yet after that first day you seemed to spend more time in their office than you did your own.

It went on for months, Matt oblivious to how you felt whilst you silently pined. You couldn’t count how many times you’d lost yourself in a daydream, your traitorous thoughts creating all sorts of impossible scenarios where Matt would just grab you, pull you close and kiss you until your lips were swollen and you struggled to breathe.

You knew Matt was a good person, even if he did have a reckless streak, one you’d bore witness to yourself and heard about in length from Foggy. You knew that he would never date somebody seriously, preferring to sleep around rather than stay with one person, you knew you should let go of your crush for him but it was impossible.

Some days you were convinced Matt knew how you felt. When the three of you went to a bar together after work and he sat a little too close to you, his knees brushing against yours and your arms rested against each other. You knew he couldn’t see the way you glanced at the way he sat so close, knew he couldn’t see your smile as you resisted the urge to shift close and yet you always caught a smirk on his face aimed in your direction, some flirty comment following it.

It didn’t matter because you knew for Matt it wasn’t nothing but a fun little game to flirt the night away with you. It didn’t matter how much you told yourself it was just a crush when you knew your feelings went beyond that because nothing would come from them.

“Let me walk you home.” Matt insisted like he did after every night spent at the bar. It had been over a year since you’d met him and he had never once failed to make sure you got home safe, despite your insistence that you’d be fine.

“You don’t have to.” You told him, a scripted response that Matt had come to expect in the time he’d known you and you didn’t need to see him without the red tinted glasses to see he was rolling his eyes behind them.

“I’m gonna walk you home.” He grinned at you causing you to laugh as he headed off in the direction of your apartment, you following him straight away.

Matt walked by your side, close enough that if you were brave enough you’d be able to reach out and brush your hand against his, thread your fingers together and feel his hand against yours. He was close enough that if you turned to face him and leaned up you could press your lips to his.

He was close enough to touch and yet the distance between you seemed wider than ever.

“Everything ok?” Matt asked softly, startling you out of your thoughts and you prayed that he hadn’t somehow been able to tell what you had been thinking about.

“Sorry, lost in my own head.” You chucked, hoping he’d let you brush it off and change the subject but Matt was never one for letting the people he cared about suffer, always wanting to do something to make it better.

“Seems to happen a lot.” Matt stated and you tensed slightly, Matt noticing straight away but he didn’t let it show. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

Did you know that? Sure, of course you did, you could talk to Matt about anything, anything except for the fact you were in love with him, anything expect for the fact that all you could think about was him kissing you right now on the sidewalk, how you wanted nothing more than for him to tell you that he felt the same way.

“I know.” You smiled, letting all the things you most desperately wanted to say go unsaid. “But there’s nothing to talk about.”

Matt clearly didn’t buy it if the frown on his face was anything to go by and as much as you hated putting it there, as much as you hated lying to him you knew it was easier this way. Losing Matt would hurt infinitely more than silently wishing for him.

Matt knew what was eating you up, he knew that you were as desperate for him as he was for you. If it had been anyone else, if he had met you years ago he wouldn’t have hesitated to cup your cheek and drag you in for a kiss, he wouldn’t have given a second thought to taking you to bed, he wouldn’t have wasted any time in making you his.

But it wasn’t years before, it was now and now he had Daredevil in his life. He couldn’t risk another person getting hurt because of him, he was already risking more than he’d like with Foggy knowing but you…he couldn’t risk anything happening to you because of him.

And yet he wanted you. He wanted you so bad. Hearing your heart rate speed up when he brushed his hand against yours, feeling the heat spread to your cheeks when he made a suggestive comment, hearing the way your breathing hitched when he wrapped his arm through yours, knowing you wanted him was driving him crazy.

He felt like a man starved when it came to you, barely holding back from his desires to just give in and kiss you, to feel how good you felt for him, he wanted you. He knew he had feelings for you and all he wanted to do was act on them.

The rain started to fall when you were five blocks from your apartment and began to pour down by the time you were two blocks away. Matt’s hand found yours and you felt the same familiar sparks you always seemed to feel whenever he touched you shoot through your hand.

Matt took off in a run and you had no choice but to follow after him, the two of you laughing and gasping for breath by the time you stood under the small roof at the door of your apartment complex.

The rain had stuck Matt’s suit to him, his hair flat against his head as droplets fell down his cheek and nose. You wanted to reach out and brush his face, wanted to follow the path of the rain drops and trail kisses all the way down to his lips.

Matt could hear the way your heart had sped up even more, having nothing to do with the rain and everything to do with whatever thoughts were running through your head. He wanted to know what you were thinking, wanted to give you whatever you wanted, he was torn, so close to throwing everything out the window and giving in.

The two of you went silent as you turned to each other, your eyes drawn to Matt’s lips and you watched as he ducked his head, watched as he went to lean in before you closed your eyes.

“I should go.” Matt breathed out and you bit back a huff of disappointment, letting your eyes open to look at his sad smile.

“Okay.” You murmured, debating on whether you should be the one to take the risk and close the distance between you, suddenly so sure that Matt wanted you, but you weren’t brave enough.

You knew you’d spend the rest of your life regretting that.

You didn’t want to spend the rest of your life regretting it though, even if Matt couldn’t give you what you wanted you knew he wanted at least one night with you and you’d do anything for it, anything to feel how electric Matt’s kisses were, anything to feel how good his hands running along your body could feel, anything to run your fingers through his hair to pull him into a kiss.

You watched as Matt stepped out into the rain, watched him walk to the end of your street before freezing. You decided you were going to be brave, didn’t let your mind become overwhelmed with all the reasons this was a bad idea and instead followed him out in the rain, feeling a shiver run down your spine and not knowing whether it was from anticipation or the cold.

Matt seemed to have the same idea, turning around on his heel and meeting you halfway, cupping your face in his hands and practically smashing your lips together in a rushed and messy kiss, your noses knocking against each other as your hands gripped his wet suit.

The kiss was everything you had thought it was going to be, if you thought Matt brushing against your hand was enough to send a rush of electricity through you then it wasn’t nothing compared to the sparks flying as he kissed you.

The two of you stayed out in the rain kissing until you had to pull away for air, both of you drenched through but not even noticing as Matt rested his forehead against yours, the two of you breathing heavily against each other.

Matt gave you a second longer to catch your breath before his lips were on yours again, this time his hands found your hips and he nudged you until you were walking backwards towards your apartment, Matt managing to pull himself away so you could open the door before he attached himself to you again, the two of you somehow managing to get up the stairs without breaking apart.

Matt slammed your back into the door, pulling away from your lips to nip at your neck, trailing kisses and pausing to suck bruises into the skin causing you to muffle soft moans as you tried several times to open your apartment door.

Once you were inside Matt wasted no time moving you both to the bedroom, by the time the two of you got there you had both been stripped off your wet clothes and left only in your underwear. Matt sat down on the bed first and pulled you on top of him so that you were straddling him, feeling how hard he was for you.

You moaned as you ran your fingers through his hair, he wet locks tangling around your fingers and you tighten your grip to pull him into another rough kiss, Matt groaning into as you grinded against him, his hand moving towards your hips and dragging you closer, bucking up into you.

“Fuck Y/N, need you so bad.” Matt grunted into your neck when you finally pulled away from each other, his hands running up and down your body causing you to moan.

You shifted down Matt’s body, trailing kisses down his chest until you settled in between his legs, wasting no time in removing his boxers and moaning at the sight of his hard cock, already leaking with pre-cum.

Matt couldn’t stop himself from thrusting into your mouth when your lips wrapped around the head of his cock, forcing his dick half way into you before he restrained himself, listening as you choked and moaning loudly, his hands gripping your hair as you took a breath before you started sucking on his cock like you were made for it.

Matt felt himself hit the back of your throat, moaning even louder as he felt you relax and take him even further. You were making such a mess, he could feel your drool all over his cock, leaking from your mouth and down your chin, he could feel your gaze on him, knew your eyes would be bright and wide especially when he stilled you with the hand in your hair and took over, letting himself lose control as he thrusted himself deep into your mouth.

He had to force himself to pull out before he made an even bigger mess on your face, tempting as the thought was, he needed to be inside of you, needed to feel how good you felt on his cock.

Matt shifted you so that you were laying underneath him, as he settled in between your legs he dipped his head down to smash his lips against yours and feeling the mess you had made had him groaning into it before he pulled away.

You moaned loudly when you felt the head of Matt’s cock pushing at your entrance, spreading you open and stretching you wide. Your hand gripped the bedsheet as you felt him push deeper into you, already feeling fuller than you’d ever felt before he was fully inside you.

Matt kissed you again as he pushed his cock fully inside you, feeling the way you stretched perfectly around him, unable to stop the moans and grunts that escaped him. You were so tight on his cock, the little gasped breaths that left you as he stretched you out ran straight to his cock.

The way he could hear your heart hammering against your chest had him thrusting into you after giving you a minute to adjust to him and you were crying out in pleasure as he set a rough pace, slamming in and out of you like he couldn’t control himself, his fingers rubbing against your clit causing your toes to curl and back to arch as you fisted the sheets and moaned mindlessly.

Matt trailed kissed down to your neck, tasting sweat against your skin as your head fell to the side and he wasted no time in covering your skin in even more bruises, marking you as his whilst he slammed into you, whispering praises, telling you how good you felt, how perfect you were, how much he loved feeling you on his cock.

Eventually it was all too much for you and your hands found Matt’s shoulders, fingers digging into his skin as you felt yourself come apart, practically seeing sparks fly as you came on his cock whilst he continued thrusting into your sensitive pussy, his fingers still rubbing at your clit causing you to whimper and gasp.

Matt continued thrusting into you, feeling like he was in heaven when he felt you cumming all over his cock and lasted only a few moments longer before he stilled, burying his face in your neck and cumming inside you, giving a few lazy thrusts before he managed to pull himself out of you.

You felt a trail of cum leave your pussy, groaning at how empty you felt now that Matt had left you, the man laying on top of you and trailing lazy kisses along your chest, your hands moving up into his hair, running your fingers through it gently and smiling as he leaned into your touch.

“What is this?” You couldn’t help but ask after a while, keeping your voice soft so as not to disturb the peace between you.

Matt knew he couldn’t leave now, not now that he had had you. He wanted you to be with him, he wanted to be with you in every way possible. He’d do everything he could to protect you, to keep Daredevil and the trouble that seemed to follow the masked vigilante far away from you.

“I love you.” Matt confessed, smiling as he felt your heart stutter before speeding up. “I was scared but I love you, Y/N/N, I want you to be mine.”

“I’d like that.” You murmured, letting your lips press against his hair. “I love you too.”

You were ecstatic, for so long you had thought you would never know what it would be like to have Matt feel anything other than friendship for you and now he was here, in your bed, telling you he loved you. It was better than all your wildest dreams, holding Matt close and falling asleep in his arms, glad you had been brave enough and knowing you wouldn’t have to live the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you’d just kissed him in the pouring rain.

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Thank you so much for reading!!💜

pls pls pls do something with Andrew!Peter and Last Kiss for the Speak Now masterlist

i love this one, thanks for requesting it!💜

i hope you like it!!

what abt james potter or a marauder for mine?

so sorry I forgot to tag you in this yesterday!!

i hope you enjoy!!💜

Last Kiss

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Prompt - ‘But I never planned on you changing your mind.’

Notes - Happy Speak Now month! Request a fic for any of the remaining Speak Now tracks, click my masterlist to see which songs are left!!💜

You could safely say that falling in love with Peter Parker was the easiest thing you had ever done. Everything about him was easy to fall for. He had been your best friend for as long as you could remember, for so long it had been the two of you against the world. He had been there for all the good moments in your life and you had been there for his.

You’d known for years you were in love with him, long before either of you confessed it to each other. You had thought of telling him for a while but every time you’d thought you’d built the courage to do it you always backed out, not wanting to ruin your friendship.

It wasn’t until nearly two in the morning on some random night in fall when you heard a tapping on your window that things changed. You awoke with a groan, not having been asleep for long but exhausted from the day before.

At first you weren't sure what had woken you up, ready to just brush it off and let your eyes fall shut again. Just as you shifted in your bed, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself you heard more tapping and sat up with a frown.

It took a couple of moments for you to realise it was coming from your window and you felt a smile pull at your lips, wrapping the blanket around yourself because the room was cold. You climbed out of your bed and pulled your curtains back to see a masked Spider-Man grinning at you.

You were quick to push the window open, smile dropping as you took in the busted lip, bloody cheek and blackening eye. Peter didn’t seem all that fazed about it as he climbed in through the window, quickly catching a book he had knocked on his way in before it could make a noise and closed the window for you.

“Fun night?” You asked as you made your way to your desk, pulling out the med kit you kept handy ever since you’d found out that the friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man happened to be your best friend.

“Yeah, it was great!” Peter grinned, causing you to wince as more blood leaked from his lips, Peter ignoring it as he relayed the events of his night, making himself comfortable on your bed.

As he spoke you gently got to work on cleaning the blood coming from the different spots on his face, knowing that his healing factor would take care of the rest and in just a few hours you wouldn’t even be able to tell that he had been hurt.

“Better?” You asked as you threw the bloody wipes onto your nightstand, along with the med kit, too tired to bother putting them away.

“Thank you.” Peter nodded, smiling softly at you before he pulled himself off the bed.

As he stripped out of the suit and opened your wardrobe for a pair of clothes you’d stolen from him months ago you fixed the blanket and settled back against the pillows, stealing a glance or two before he was dressed and climbing into bed with you.

The two of you had been sharing a bed since you were kids, back then it was fine, easy, he was just your best friend then but now, now it was different. It was harder to ignore your feelings when you were pulled against a warm chest, Peter’s arms wrapping around you, holding you close to him.

You were so stupidly in love with him that it hurt some days.

“Thank you for always patching me up.” He murmured into your hair and you smiled into his chest, smoothing your hand along his shirt.

“Somebody’s gotta watch out for Spider-Man whilst he’s saving the world.” You laughed, feeling the rumble of Peter’s chest as he chuckled.

The two of you were quiet for a while after that, your eyes had drifted back shut and you let yourself relax even more against Peter, selfishly savouring the way he felt wrapped around you, memorising the way his thumb automatically stroked soothingly up and down your hip, cherished the way you’d never felt quite as safe as you did in Peter’s arms.

“I love you.” Peter whispered into the dark, the words catching him by surprise.

He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. He hoped you had fallen asleep, hoped you hadn’t heard his whispered confession and yet another part of him wished you were awake to hear it. He wanted you to know that you were the one for him, that he’d been in love with you for longer than he could remember.

You were silent for a moment, not daring to move as though it would break the spell and Peter would take the words back, play them off as a joke. It took you a few more seconds before you were able to force yourself to move.

You shifted out of Peter’s grip only far enough away so that you could look over at him with disbelief on your face. It wasn’t that you didn’t believe Peter couldn’t love you, it was just that you had never let yourself think he could love you the way you had loved him for so long.

“Y/N/N,” Peter started, torn between backtracking or just admitting it all over again, thankfully he was saved from having to decide when you smiled at him and reached out to cup his cheek, your thumb gently brushing over his already healing cut.

“I love you too.” You whispered back to him, watching as he froze for a second as if he wasn’t registering the words before a smile broke out and his whole face seemed to light up the dark room.

“Really?” He couldn’t help but ask and you laughed softly as you nodded, Peter leaned in and pressed your lips together, both of you smiling too much for it to be more of a brushing of your lips before Peter pulled you even closer and kissed you properly, the kiss soft and slow as he cupped your own cheek.

By the time the two of you were forced to pull away for air, you were dizzy and breathing heavily, Peter resting his forehead against yours and feeling just as intoxicatingly dizzy as you did.

Your first kiss with Peter turned into two then three until you couldn’t recall how many kisses were shared on that first night alone, neither of you able to stop until the pull of exhaustion forced you away from each other and you were able to fall asleep in his arms, not having to feel guilty for how much you enjoyed it anymore.

It went on for months, you and Peter shocking nobody when you announced that you were dating. Aunt May pulled you into a hug and told you she’d been waiting for you two to figure it out since you were six years old causing you both to laugh and share smiles.

Everything was perfect. The two of you were made for each other. You weren’t surprised that nothing much seemed to change between the two of you, Peter and you were still attached at the hip both during and after school, Peter still knocked on your window more nights than not to crawl into your bed after patrolling, the only difference now was that the two of you could be open with how you felt and that you could pull him down for a kiss whenever you wanted.

“You look gorgeous, love.” Peter said as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, resting his head on your shoulder as you looked at each other through the mirror.

Peter had never been shy with the compliments, even before you started dating he always seemed to want you to know how beautiful you were and yet somehow they never failed to make you blush.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, handsome.” You smirked, turning around in his hold to drape your arms around his shoulders, leaning in to press a kiss against his lips.

The two of you were finishing getting ready to head to Gwen’s, her parents were away for some business trips and since school had just ended it seemed like the perfect time for somebody to throw a party.

As you headed in you felt Peter’s hand resting against the small of your back. That was another thing about Peter, he seemed incapable of keeping his hands to himself around you, there was always some part of him attached to you.

You weren’t complaining of course, you loved that Peter wasn’t afraid to show you off, you loved the feeling of him close by. Peter had always felt like home, felt safe, you would never push him away.

Peter was like the life of the party whenever he walked into a room, he didn’t care who anyone was, he’d say hi to you if you were popular or not, he’d pour you a drink and hand you some snacks and draw you into a conversation if you looked left out.

It was truly a wonder how people hadn’t figured out he was Spider-Man, both of them cared so much for other people, always willing to take a hit before he’d let someone else take it, always looking out for others.

Peter headed off to get you both a drink and you found Gwen in the crowd, letting her pull you in for a hug before she immediately started talking to you. You laughed along with her, joining in with the group she was with and were only pulled away when Peter found you with two drinks in hand.

You smiled at him, continuing with what you were saying before you were cut off by Peter’s lips pressing against yours and you couldn’t help but laugh into it as the others around you cooed and giggled.

“I was talking.” You said once he pulled away, Peter grinning down at you as he passed you a drink.

“Sorry, you just look so beautiful tonight.” He told you, causing you to roll your eyes playfully even as you blushed.

A few drinks later and Peter stumbled over to you, a happy grin on his face, his eyes bright as he wrapped himself around you, nuzzling into your neck and placing soft kisses against your skin.

“Dance with me?” He whispered into your ear, placing a kiss against it.

You weren’t usually one for dancing but Peter kept pressing kisses along your shoulder and you couldn’t help but give in to him, letting him lead you to the living room which seemed to have been turned into a dance floor for the time being.

Dancing with Peter was just as intoxicating as all of thing involving Peter seemed to be, the way his arms wrapped around you, gripping your hips as he pulled your back to his chest, moving against you, his lips still mouthing at your neck whilst he nudged you to tilt your head for him as you moved to the beat of whatever song was playing.

Peter danced with you for a song or two before he was pulling away from your neck, trailing a series of kisses up to your ear.

“Let me take you home?” He whispered, his voice thick and heavy with want and you wanted him just as badly, nodding against him and letting him lead you out of Gwen’s place and back to yours.

You had noticed straight away when something shifted, Peter knocked on your window less and less as the weeks went on, the two of you were so close that you felt the loss immediately. When the two of you were together he acted differently, pulling away more and more and if you thought that was bad in public it was even worse.

Suddenly Peter, who was usually so open with his affection for you, treated you like you were a stranger. It was strange to go from having him always with you to him pulling away. You had tried to accept that maybe he just needed some distance, you did spend a lot of time together, maybe he just needed to be alone for a bit.

But after weeks passed where you would go days without receiving a reply from him, without feeling his arms around you or his lips against yours you didn’t know what to do. Something was obviously wrong but instead of talking to you about it he was pushing you further and further away.

Peter, meanwhile, was freaking out.

He had been swinging through the city, ready to call it a night as things seemed to be quiet and head over to your house when he heard somebody frantically calling out for him. His spider senses immediately honed in on the voice and he swung faster towards it, dropping into a crouch in front of a scared girl.

“What’s the matter?” He asked, scanning the scene for any danger but other than the girl's pale face and shaking hands there wasn’t anything out of place.

“Spider-Man,” she breathed out, looking at him in fear. “He told me to give you this.”

The girl held out a large thick envelope that caused Peter to frown. He hesitated for a moment before he took it off her but didn’t open it just yet.

“Who gave this to you?” He asked, watching as she shook her head.

“I don’t know, he just grabbed me and dragged me down here. He told me I had to make sure you got that or he’d hurt me.” The girl began to cry and Peter shushed her gently, pulling her up and wrapping his arm around her.

“I’m really sorry, will you let me walk you home?” He asked her softly and spent the next twenty minutes walking through New York, making sure the girl got home safely before he swung a few blocks away.

He landed on a rooftop and sat down, opening the envelope and feeling his heart stop when a picture fell out. It was a picture of you with Spider-Man and when he tipped the envelope out he saw dozens more of the two of you together, thankfully each time he was fully suited and masked.

‘The itsy, bitsy Spider-Man sure would be crushed if something happened to his little girlfriend.’

Peter’s blood ran cold as he tried to run through all the people he had dealt with recently but couldn’t think of anybody who would be furious enough to stalk him and threaten you. He had always been nervous about mixing you and Spider-Man but you both thought you were being careful.

Clearly he was wrong and now you were in danger because of him.

Putting space between you made Peter feel like the biggest jerk in the world but he knew if he told you it would cause you to panic. He didn’t want you looking over your shoulder every second of the day, startling at every sound you heard and being too scared to leave your apartment.

He was torn. Being away from you hurt but he had to protect you. He never thought he’d have to choose between you and Spider-Man, you had accepted his masked side immediately but now he had to protect you even if you never knew.

“Will you stop!” You exclaimed as you tried to catch up to Peter, the man had gotten good at avoiding you. “Seriously, tell me what’s going on!”

“There’s nothing going on.” Peter insisted as he stopped walking to let you catch up to him.

“Don’t lie to me, don’t do that. I haven’t seen you in weeks and you’re telling me we’re fine?” You cried, hating the way tears stung at your eyes but suddenly you were exhausted, being away from Peter for so long was wrong.

“Baby,” he sighed, stepping closer to you to cup your cheek. “I’m sorry, ok, I just…you’re right there is something wrong but not with us.”

“Tell me what’s wrong.” You pleaded and Peter’s own eyes filled with tears as he shook his head, leaning down to press your foreheads together and just savouring the feeling of having you so close.

“I love you so much.” He murmured, leaning down to press his lips against yours, kissing you so softly, so carefully, like you’d break if he was too rough.

“Peter, please just talk to me.” You begged when he pulled back but he shook his head again.

“I can’t baby, I can’t.” He told you tearfully, leaning in to kiss you one last time before pulling away. “Just do me a favour please.”

“Anything.” You told him sincerely, worried for him and wanting nothing more than to help him.

“Tell me you love me.” He asked, looking at you with wide, watery eyes that made your heart break.

“Of course I love you, you know that right?” You asked and he nodded at you, his lips thinning into a line as he fought back tears.

“Yeah, yeah I know that Y/N/N.” He forced his lips into a smile, taking you in before he knew he had to leave. “I gotta go baby.”

You went to open your mouth but Peter just shook his head, murmuring an apology before he raced away from you, leaving you standing in the street, watching as he blended into the crowd of strangers.

If you had known that would have been your last kiss with Peter you would have held him close a bit longer, you would have made it last until you were both gasping for breath, you wouldn’t have let him walk away without an explanation like the many years of your friendship, of your love meant nothing to him.

But you didn’t know that would be your last kiss with him, not until you got a call from Peter whilst you were in the shower. You hadn’t heard the phone ring but you smiled once you sat on your bed, changed into a pair of clothes you had stolen from Peter, to see a voicemail from him, it had been over a week since the last time you’d seen or heard from him.

“Um, hey…hey baby.” Peter said shakily and your smile immediately turned into a frown. “God, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. I should be doing this in person but I can’t, I can’t because it’d kill me to see you cry. I…Y/N, I have to break up with you. I’m so sorry, baby but I gotta. It’s for the best.”

For the best? How was him breaking up with you for the best?

“You did nothing wrong, Y/N, you need to know that. This is all me and God, Y/N, one day I promise you, one day I’m gonna make up for all of this but right now…just know that I love you so much, baby, I really do love you.”

Tears were streaming down your face by the time the message ended and you were left in silence, the only sound was your occasional sobs as you struggled for air.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, you and Peter were meant to be it, you were meant to be with only each other, that’s what you promised each other. It was always supposed to be you and Peter against the world.

Now you were alone, with no explanation as to why only a promise that he would fix it one day. You weren’t sure how he was supposed to fix this when he couldn’t even stomach being in the same room as you.

You and Peter had planned a future together, it was impossible to see it without him. You didn’t want to see it without him. You weren’t supposed to have a last kiss with him, he wasn’t supposed to be something you missed.

You were so set on a future with Peter, thought he was so sure about one with you that the idea of him changing his mind had never even occurred to you. You wish it had though because then maybe you would have expected this a little bit but nothing could have prepared you for this.

You didn’t want this to be the end of your story with Peter, this was never how you’d imagined it to end and yet there was nothing you could do to change it, the only thing you could do was hope that one day Peter kept his promise and made things right again.

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Thank you so much for reading!💜

i am begging for mine with james potter, her not believing in love and him being the one to make her believe 🙏🏻🧎‍♀️

me finally writing a James fic where he doesn't leave reader for Lily, wow

I hope you enjoy!!💜

Mine

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Prompt - ‘You saw me start to believe for the first time.’

Requested - @katsuniverse​

Notes - Happy Speak Now month! Request a fic for any of the remaining Speak Now tracks, click my masterlist to see which songs are left!!💜

The difference between you and James was that he came from a family that showered him in love, a family with two parents who married for love without caring what other people thought, a family that couldn’t care less about blood purity and keeping family lines ‘clean’.

Your family only cared about that, muggles were respected less than house elves, if you even dared to glance at somebody who wasn’t of pureblood descent then they’d be sure to let you know how much of a traitor you were to the family. Your parents didn’t love each other, they loathed each other, sure in public people believed they were the perfect couple but the reality of it was they couldn’t have a single conversation behind closed doors without it turning into a screaming match.

Perhaps that was why you and Sirius had been fast friends. From a young age both of you had known this life wasn’t for you, the prejudice and judgement coming from people who thought they were so much better than others just because they were purebloods. Both of you forced to attend the parties that were only hosted in an effort to show how superior one family was from the other, a similar one hosted the next week just to prove who was better.

You hated those parties and yet you were made to attend each one of them, mainly sticking with Sirius and trying to stifle your laughter as he made fun of the stuck up witches and wizards around the room.

Going to Hogwarts was the break you needed. Finally being away from your family, from their high class rules, their cruel words and harsher glares, the parties and the arguments. It was a relief to leave home but their judgement still followed you down the Great Hall.

You and Sirius traded apprehensive looks. Both the Y/L/N and the Black family had been Slytherin’s for as far back as anybody could remember, it was expected that you and Sirius would follow that tradition.

You had known for years that Sirius was determined to be in any house but Slytherin, promising that he would find a way to trick the hat if he needed to. You thought he’d be ok though, Sirius was your best friend and nothing at all like the Slytherin that surrounded you on a daily basis, you didn’t think it would be a struggle for him to be placed anywhere else. You figured he’d do well in Gryffindor, he was one of the bravest people you’d met after all, never one to back down even against his father’s fists and mother’s sharp nails that left marks after one too many glasses of wine.

You yourself were torn, of course you hated everything your family stood for, of course you wanted to break free from them but thinking that and actually doing it were two different things. You had no love for your family but you knew their disappointment would still hit hard if you were placed anywhere but Slytherin.

“Now what should we do with you?” The hat asked once Professor McGonagall placed the ancient thing on your head. “A brilliant mind, older than your years aren’t you? Cunning and quick on your feet. But not Slytherin, eh?  For as long as I can remember the Y/L/N’s have been Slytherin’s. Of course that doesn’t mean you have to be. No, no I don’t think Slytherin is where you belong. A brave girl like you belongs in…

Gryffindor!” The Hat exclaimed and you felt your eyes widen in shock, gaze immediately seeking out Sirius who was beaming at you, up on his feet and whooping as you forced yourself off the stool and over to him.

“Breathe.” Sirius whispered as the remaining students were sorted, you not paying attention to any of it as your mind flooded with fear of what your family would do. “We’ll be fine.”

You glanced over at Sirius who smiled at you, knocking into your shoulder softly and you nodded, taking a deep breath and finally focusing on those around you. Opposite you were the two boys you’d met on the train, the pale boy with scars scattered around his face and hands sat across from Sirius and the boy with messy brown hair and warm eyes was facing you.

“You two alright?” James asked and you watched as Sirius glanced at you before grinning, taking the attention of you for a moment.

“I’m brilliant, mate. Merlin, mother’s going to be furious with me!” Sirius exclaimed and you couldn’t help but join in as Remus and James laughed, feeling some of the tension leave you.

You were a Gryffindor. There was nothing you could do to change that, no amount of angry words or letters could change that now. So instead you let yourself enjoy your first night at Hogwarts, pushing all thoughts of your family aside as you laughed with Sirius and the two others who would all become your best friends before the year was finished.

Over the years James had watched you closely. He had known when he was eleven that you were special, had known you were important. You were one of his best friends, he was always going to look out for you.

At thirteen he realised he liked you, at fourteen he realised he loved you. He never said anything though, he didn’t want to risk losing you. Every time somebody brought up love or crushes you always shut down, tuning the conversation out and refusing to take part, it didn’t matter how much they teased and nudged you, you never spoke about it.

James had been curious for a while, he’d even gone to ask you about it a few times but Sirius always seemed to know when he was going to, pulling him aside and distracting him with something or just subtly shaking his head when James approached you.

It took a while but eventually Sirius realised James was going to keep asking you so he waited until you’d gone up to bed and told him about your parents. Of course James already knew about them, he’d watched you rant about them, watched you tense up when the family owl flew into the Great Hall, watched how you stopped eating and zoned out when the school year was over and you knew you’d be going back to them.

Once Sirius told him James figured it made sense why you thought love was stupid. His heart ached that you thought all relationships were doomed, that the only example you had was set by those who married for status and not for love.

James wanted to change your mind. He wanted you to see that love was real, that it was a good thing, that it could work.

He went to bed that night with his thoughts racing, knowing he had all summer to come up with a way to get you to believe in love.

By the time autumn had arrived James had created and thrown out more plans than he could recall. He didn’t have a solid idea by the time he boarded the train and sat down next to you, his smile softening when he saw how tired you looked, knowing how draining the summer was for you at home.

He decided then and there that he didn’t need some elaborate plan, he didn’t need the others to help him come up with one either. All he had to do was show you that counting on somebody, that spending time with them and letting yourself fall wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

“Here.” He murmured to you, the word nearly getting lost in the noise of the train, everybody excitedly greeting each other as they made their way into compartments.

You looked over at James, eyebrows knitting together as you looked at him. James couldn’t help but grin as your face lit up when you took one of the cupcakes James held out to you, something Mrs Potter had taken to making and sending him off with at the beginning of the third year.

You and James easily fell into conversation, James careful not to ask too many questions about your summer even as you asked about his. Sometimes you did talk about it but it was usually in the early hours of the morning when everyone else had gone to bed, you and him alone in the common room feeling like the secrets you shared there were safe to say.

It wasn’t long before Remus and Sirius joined the two of you and soon enough you were back at Hogwarts, happy to be back home.

“Come with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?” James asked as he caught up to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder when he saw you leave the Great Hall.

You looked up at him with a smile, a smile that James loved putting on your face and swore he’d keep there. You didn’t move from under his arm letting him lead you out of the castle, if anything you shifted closer to him when the autumn air hit you.

“Don’t we always go to Hogsmeade together?” You asked, raising your eyebrow at him questioning.

“No, we always go with Sirius and Remus.” James told you and it was true, all four of you always went together unless Sirius was trying to impress a girl but that usually ended with him finding you all a few hours later. “I’m asking you to come with me.”

You stayed silent for a moment, feeling a wave of nerves run through you. You’d known for a long time now that you liked James. You hadn’t wanted to admit it to even yourself for so long but you couldn’t deny the fact that he was the one you sought out after a bad day, he was the one you went to for a distraction, he was the one you looked for when you entered a room, he was the one who took a weight of your shoulders upon seeing him after spending the summer with your family.

You loved James and it terrified you.

Nothing good could come from it. You knew what relationships turned into, you had watched as even the best intended relationships turned cold and cruel. You couldn’t have that happen between you and James, you’d rather never tell the man how you felt than watch as you and he turned into something dark and twisted.

And yet even with the sliver of fear you felt you had never been all that good at denying James Potter of anything he asked for.

“So,” James stretched the word out when you had gone too long without answering him. “Will you come with me?”

“Yeah, I’ll go with you.” You told him, a small smile on your face as you felt excitement mix with your nerves and fear.

A few days later found you pacing the lengths of your room, thankful that the other girls had left for breakfast, leaving you alone to freak out about going out with James. You don’t know why you were so nervous, it was just James and it wasn’t a date.

Yet some hopeful, traitorous part of you wished it was.

“You know he likes you right?” Sirius’ voice startled you out of your thoughts and you whipped around to face him, glaring at him for frightening you.

You’d ask how he even got into the girls dormitories but you had long since given up asking how Sirius did half the things he managed.

“I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.” You told him stiffly, turning away from him to busy yourself with rifling through your trunk.

“Come off it Y/N/N. He’s a good lad, one of the best, he’ll treat you right. What’s so wrong with giving him a chance? I know you like him too.” Sirius sighed, moving further into the room and onto your bed.

“Don’t you think I know all that?” You snapped, glaring at your oldest friend before taking a deep breath and moving to sit next to him, letting him wrap his arm around you to pull you closer and resting your head on his shoulder. “I just, I can’t Sirius. I can’t risk losing him, I can’t risk falling into the same trap every other couple we know has, I won’t jeopardise what we have now for us to end up hating each other.”

“Y/N, you’re not going to end up like our parents. They never loved each other, you know that. You won’t be dating James because you’ve been ordered too, because he’s a pureblood who only calls about popping our heirs and looking good to other purebloods. Neither of you care about that stuff.” Sirius told you softly, resting his head on yours and letting his eyes fall shut as silence washed over the two of you.

“I really like him.” You finally confessed, voice barely louder than a whisper but Sirius heard, a sad smile spreading across his face.

“I know you do. Go out with him, enjoy yourself, let yourself be happy.” Sirius said and you nodded, taking a moment to gather yourself before pulling yourself off the bed.

“See you later?” You asked as you slipped a robe on, ducking into the bathroom to check yourself one last time.

“I wanna hear all about it!” Sirius grinned as you rolled your eyes, heading down to the common room and seeing James waiting for you.

“You ready?” He asked, a smile spreading across his face as he saw you and you smiled back nodding. “You look beautiful by the way.”

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks, your smile turning shy as you ducked your head, following him out of the common room.

“Thank you.” You said softly, suddenly so unsure how to act around James despite having been friends for years. “You look good too.”

The walk through Hogwarts was silent, James wondered if he was making the right call. He knew how nervous you were, Sirius had been distracted all morning and only settled once he announced he was going to check on you. Your fears were clearly deeper than he had originally thought but then he looked over at you and knew he would never regret this.

He just had to hope you didn’t regret it either.

“You remember the first time we came here?” James asked you with a smirk, watching as you rolled your eyes again but your smile widened and that’s all James needed.

“I’d known you for two weeks, you can’t blame me for being cautious!” You defended yourself, James laughing and the sound made you relax a little bit.

“You were terrified.” James grinned and you nudged his shoulder.

“We were eleven, who gives an eleven year old an invisibility cloak?”

“I told you we’d make a rebel out of you.” You and James continued talking and laughing, reminiscing on your years at Hogwarts until you were completely relaxed, no nerves or fear running through you as you let yourself fall into the familiar comfort of James’ company.

After that day at Hogsmeade you decided not to overthink every decision you made. Of course one outing didn’t automatically fix everything you believed but you were willing to at least follow Sirius’ advice of giving it a try. You were still terrified of losing James, of turning into your parents but you also really wanted to be with James.

So one outing turned into two then three until months had passed and you and James were spending all your free time together, of course that didn’t deviate from your usual schedule but this year it was different. This year it was filled with shy glances and gentle brushing of hands which neither of you were brave enough to grab, it was filled with sneaking out and wandering the grounds together, of somehow getting to know each other more which you hadn’t thought possible.

Tonight the two of you sat outside by the black lake, James had enlisted the help of the others to make a picnic, getting as much food as the house elves would give them and setting up a spot for the two of you.

The food had long since been eaten and the sun was finally beginning to set. James rubbed his hands on his thighs, desperately trying to remember the speech he had planned earlier but coming up empty each time.

You looked out at the water, at some point you had shifted closer to James and rested your head on his shoulder. If somebody would have told you you’d be here months ago you’d have laughed in their face but now it felt right, everything about these last few months felt right.

Falling in love with James Potter felt right.

“You okay?” You murmured softly, not wanting to disturb the peace but James had been quiet for a while now and you hadn’t missed how nervous he’d seemed throughout dinner.

James wasn’t sure how to answer that. He was amazing, he was sat with the girl he loved leaning against him, so happy for every second he got to spend with you and yet he was also nervous because he was so desperate to tell you how he felt, needing you to know that he loved you, to know you were his world.

“James?” You said again, moving so you could look over at him.

“I love you.” James blurted out, his eyes widening at the same time as yours did.

He hadn’t meant to say that, well ok he had but he had a whole speech, he was going to ease you into it. The last thing he wanted was to scare you off and have you leave him.

“James,” You said softly, shocked at his words that left you equal parts nervous and overjoyed.

“No, wait, just let me…” James trailed off with a sigh before sitting up and turning to face you properly. “I know you don’t think this is going to work, I know you look at your mum and dad and hate what they have but that’s never going to be us. We’re choosing each other because we want to, not because of something as stupid as blood purity. I know you're scared but let me show you how good we can be.”

James watched you closely, part of him expected you to bolt but then he watched your face soften into a smile, he watched as the tension that had built in your shoulders left and you looked at him like it was your first time really seeing him.

James Potter was watching you believe for the first time.

Believe in him, believe in love, believe that he could be the one for you, believe that it wouldn’t end in spite and hatred but it could just be love.

“I love you too.” You finally said and James let out a surprised laugh, a grin spreading across his face as he stared at you.

You were in love with him.

“Can I please kiss you?” He asked, his voice coming out more of a beg causing you to laugh softly as you nodded, shifting closer to him and savouring the feeling of his palm cupping your cheek, memorising the way his thumb ran across your cheekbone as he held you like you were a prized possession.

“I really love you.” He murmured before pressing his lips to yours.

He had been waiting for so long to kiss you and now that he finally knew how your lips felt against his he knew he’d never be able to go without. One taste and he was addicted. The kiss was soft but eager, the two of you gripping each other, desperately trying to get as close as you could.

When you finally pulled away you were both panting for breath, James rested his forehead against yours to keep you close to him, not ready to let you go yet.

“So you’ll be mine then?” James asked breathlessly and you couldn’t help but smile brightly at him as you nodded. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this, I’m gonna spend the rest of our lives proving this will last, that it will always feel this good.”

You really hoped James was able to keep his promise, the way he made you feel in this moment was enough to push any doubts out of your head. How could something that feels this beautiful ever turn into something so dreadful? You wanted to believe that love wasn’t like that and you were more than happy to let James be the one to prove it to you.

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Innocent

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Prompt - ‘Who you are is not where you've been, you're still an innocent.’

Bucky was glad for the serum running through his veins when he entered his fifth day without any sleep. He could still feel the pull of exhaustion, the heaviness of his bones and the way his eyes stung with the effort to keep prying them open when they fell shut for too long but the serum made it slightly more bearable.

He knew his therapist would tell him it was unhealthy, that he had to deal with this, find ways to cope. He knew Sam would say he had to talk about it, say that he didn’t mind sitting with him and just let Bucky talk until he felt better but he knew there was no feeling better.

How could he feel better? He was alive and his dreams haunted him each night, viciously reminding him of each person he killed, each person that died by his hands without him feeling a single shed of remorse.

He knew logically that wasn’t him, the fact he couldn’t sleep, the fact he felt sick to his stomach was proof that he did feel guilty but it didn’t matter. It had happened and he had done it, it didn’t matter that he couldn’t fight back against HYDRA, he should have, he should’ve been stronger, he should have stopped them.

Now they were gone and Bucky was left alone.

Truly alone.

Steve had left and even though Bucky had sent him off with a pat on the shoulder, had given the man the approval he needed before leaving, it had killed Bucky. It was the first time he had been in his right mind for longer than he could remember and he was alone, his only connection to a life long gone had left him behind.

The Soldier was no longer in his head either, not that he was torn up about that loss. Some days it felt strange, the Soldier had taken up so much space in his mind, he had been the one in control for longer than Bucky had ever been and now it was empty, quiet. Some days Bucky found himself just standing in a room, expecting the Soldier to take the lead only to remember he was alone now.

It was just him.

Sam had tried to help him but it was no good. Bucky pushed him away, not ready to deal with the reality of his life, not ready to accept what had happened to him. He agreed to see the therapist because he had to but she was no help either. Bucky left their sessions feeling worse than he ever had most days.

Still right now he knew he had to do something, sitting on the floor in the quiet of his apartment, the only light in the room coming from the street lights outside. He needed to get out, he didn’t care that it was late, it’s not like he had anywhere to be in the morning.

It took a great effort to pull himself from the floor but he somehow managed it, heading into his bedroom to shrug on a fresh pair of clothes, knowing he hadn’t changed for longer than was acceptable. He’d need a shower too at some point but couldn’t stomach the thought of it just yet.

The cold air hit him as soon as he left his apartment and he was glad for it when he felt more alert. He had no destination in mind, just picked a direction and let his feet carry him. There were plenty of bars open at this time and as much as he wanted to drink until he passed out he knew it was a useless wish, the serum running through him would barely let him feel a buzz from the alcohol, let alone make him forget anything.

Eventually he came across a small hole in the wall cafe. The lights were still on, a soft orange glow leaking out onto the streets and it was empty beside one man typing away at his laptop and two teenagers with papers scattered across their shared table.

He didn’t know what it was about the place but Bucky let his feet carry him to the door, pausing to take a steadying breath before opening the door.

The first thing that hit him was the warmth, a sudden change for the chill outside, then there was the smell. The smell of baked goods floating through the air made Bucky’s shoulders lose some of their tenseness as he stepped into the cafe and let the door close behind him softly.

The pair of teenagers didn’t look up at the sound of the bell, nor did the man typing furiously on his laptop. The only person who acknowledged his presence was a woman who stuck her head out of a door behind the counter, letting him know she’d be just a minute.

Bucky was content to wait, walking towards the counter and looking at the displayed goods, not too filled but there was a good selection especially considering the time. The place was nice too, it reminded him of somewhere he couldn’t quite remember, a memory just out of reach.

The place had a homely feel to it, soft lights instead of harsh white ones lit the space and the place was decorated in pastel colours that complimented each other nicely with bits of greenery littered around the room. For some reason he felt safe here, it could have just been because nobody seemed to recognize him or maybe there was just something about this place.

“Hey,” A voice pulled Bucky from his thoughts and he shook his head slightly before turning his gaze to you. “What can I get for you?”

The first thing Bucky noticed about you was how beautiful you were. You radiated the same kind of warmth the cafe did, smiling at him like he was a friend you’d known for years rather than a complete stranger, like he wasn’t a deadly killer.

He couldn’t tell if you knew him, most people did whether it was because they’d learnt about Bucky Barnes, best friend to Captain America or they’d see the news stories about the Winter Soldier. You didn’t flinch, didn’t pause, didn’t stare at him or gawk, didn’t take a step back. You just smiled at him as you leaned on the counter top waiting for him to reply.

It had been a long time since Bucky had spoken to somebody who didn’t know what he had done, to somebody who’s immediate first reaction upon meeting him wasn’t to run as fast as they could away from him.

“Um, a coffee please.” Bucky forced himself to say, suddenly aware of how croaky and dry his voice was after going days without talking to anybody.

“Sure thing, nothing to eat?” You asked, the smile never leaving your lips as you moved to start making his coffee for him.

Now that you mentioned it he couldn’t exactly remember when the last time he had actually eaten anything was, his stomach aching with hunger as he glanced back towards the treats with a new found appetite.

“Yeah actually, whatever you’d recommend.” Bucky answered and attempted a smile which he knew came out as nothing but a weak twitching of the lips but it was the thought that counted.

“Well in that case you have to try these.” Your smile morphed into a grin and Bucky couldn’t help but stare at you, feeling his anxiety and fear slipping away the longer he did.

When he finally did manage to pry his eyes away from your smile he looked down to see a plate of muffins that made his stomach long for food even more so than it had before. You set the plate down in front of him and he waited for you to turn back to making his coffee before he picked one up and took a bite.

Just as you turned back to hand the man his coffee you watched as his eyes lit up and he looked down at the muffin like it was the best thing he ever held.

“Good right?” You couldn’t help but chuckle, watching as the man’s eyes snapped up to meet yours.

“They’re amazing.” Bucky praised, the smile hadn’t left your face since you walked out of the back room but he still noticed how you brightened up even more at the compliment, thanking him sincerely before excusing yourself to finish up an order for tomorrow, leaving Bucky alone with his thoughts.

This was better, loathe as he was to admit it, getting out of the apartment was good. It was easier to ignore the reminders of what he had done, sat in the cafe that radiated warmth and goodness. The quiet noise of the two teenagers talking, the rustling of pages and the repetitive taps of the man’s keyboard, the soft music playing from somewhere in the back were all things he could focus on and he felt calmer than he had in weeks.

“Haven’t seen you around here before.” You said as you came back out into the front of the cafe, talking softly to the man so you didn’t disturb the others in the cafe. “You new to the city?”

“Born and raised here.” Bucky offered after a moment of hesitation. “Been away for a while though, decided to take a walk and found this place. It’s nice.”

“Thanks, it’s my family’s business. I took the night shift to help them out, plus I get to help myself to whatever treats are left over from the day so it’s not a bad gig.” You laughed and watched as the man’s lips pulled into a small smile.  

Bucky didn’t know what it was about you. Since Wakanda, since he was back in his own mind alone without the Soldier, he had found it difficult to talk to anyone, whether it was Sam or his therapist, the few times he had tried to talk to a pretty girl had gone terribly.

But there was just something about you that made it a bit easier to find some words, that made him want to try and say something. The fact that this was the longest conversation he had had with somebody in weeks wasn’t lost on him and he was so glad he had found this place.

You kept up a steady stream of conversation, not put out when Bucky seemed to pause for longer than was necessary before he answered in a low voice, rough for not being used. You were curious about the man but he looked like the world was weighing heavily on his shoulders so you stuck to light conversation, keeping it open enough that he could jump in whenever but not pressuring him to speak.

Bucky didn’t know how long he’d stayed in the cafe but eventually his muffin and coffee were gone, as was the man who had been sitting alone in the corner. He felt lighter than he had in a long time and could feel the exhaustion creeping back up on him even after his coffee.

He figured he should try and get some sleep, hoping that a good outing would be enough to ward off the memories.

“It was nice meeting you!” You smiled when Bucky politely excused himself, finding that you genuinely meant the words. Working in the cafe meant you met all sorts of people but none stood out to you quite like he did.

“Nice meeting you too.” Bucky said, finding it was easier to smile back at you before he made his way home, ready to sleep nightmare free for the first time in weeks.

A few weeks passed before Bucky stumbled his way down to your cafe again.

He had been doing good, ever since he had left you that first night he hadn’t had nightmares, not to say that his dreams had been pleasant but they weren’t keeping him awake for days on end.

Now though he was relieving more and more missions every night, seeing the faces of the innocent people he’d murdered to get to his target, seeing how cold and cruel he was capable of being.

When the bell chimed to let you know somebody had come into the cafe you looked up with a smile that faltered when you saw the man from a few weeks ago. His hair was dishevelled, his skin pale with a light sheen of sweat covering it and his eyes looked haunted in a way you had never seen before.

By the time he had made it to the counter and into the seat he had occupied last time he was here you had forced your smile back onto your face, not letting any sympathy shine through. The man didn’t need some stranger feeling sorry for him, so you wouldn’t give him that instead you could offer him a safe place to let his mind switch off for a while.

“Hey again! I was hoping you’d be back, I just made a batch of brownies and I think I’ve got the recipe just right. You wanna try one?” You asked, jumping right into conversation to hopefully pull the man from his thoughts.

Bucky looked over at you with wide, watery eyes, taking a minute to register what you had said before nodding hesitantly, watching as you busied yourself with fetching the brownies from the back and bringing a few out on a plate.

“You want a coffee to go with that?” You asked and watched him nod again. “Great, I’ll get that ready for you. Honestly, I’m glad you came back tonight, this place has been dead for hours. I suppose the kids have finished with their finals though, you remember those two that were here the other week? Yeah they practically live here but during exam season they take up permanent residence on that table.”

Bucky appreciated how you said nothing about the state he was in, glossing past it like it wasn’t even worth mentioning. He focused on your words, so thankful you didn’t seem to be expecting a response, just filling the silence with words he could follow and grab onto, a grounding link to reality.

Bucky let time pass without acknowledging it, focusing solely on you, listening to you as you told stories of growing up in New York, of growing up in the cafe and all the different types of people that stopped by, telling him about your favourite customers and the rudest ones. He was proud when he managed a few small smiles and even one chuckle but he hadn’t been able to find the strength to speak but you didn’t seem to mind, something that made him feel even more relaxed in this place, even more relaxed with you.

Bucky only pulled himself out of the safety of the cafe when he saw the first signs of the sun coming up, knowing you wouldn’t be around much longer anyway and a part of him felt guilty for having you put up with him for so long.

“Thank you.” Bucky managed to croak out as he stood to leave watching as your bright smile turned soft.

“Thank you, lord knows I needed the company tonight.” You told him and Bucky smiled back at you. “You’re always welcome here, you know?”

“Thank you.” Bucky said again, even though the words were whispered you could still hear how grateful he was for you to have said it.

“See you around.” You said softly, watching him go until he disappeared from view.

Bucky was back again two nights later, still not as talkative but he was able to speak this time around. He shared stories of growing up in Brooklyn trying his best not to slip up and reveal that his childhood was a lot further back than you guessed, trying not to let it slip that the childhood best friend he spoke about was Steve Rogers, Captain America.

You listened intently to everything Bucky shared with you, wanting to know anything he was willing to tell you. You couldn’t say what it was about this man who seemed so down on his luck but you wanted to know everything about him.

Eventually Bucky showing up at the cafe became a regular part of your routines, he showed up more nights than not. Some nights he was silent, just needing you to fill the space with whatever came to your mind and other nights he was like a whole different person, so confident and eager to talk and share parts of his life with you.

It had been months since you’d first met him and you knew you were falling for him, you thought you had been since that first day but now you were sure.

“You know who I am, don’t you?” Bucky asked suddenly one night causing you to tense for a moment, a frown spreading across your features.

It was a bad night for Bucky, he’d been here a few hours now and not said much. The cafe was empty, silent whilst you contemplated how to answer but eventually just nodded your head.

“Yeah, I knew who you were the first time you showed up here.” You told him honestly, remembering how shocked you’d been to see Bucky Barnes in your cafe but you had hid it well.

“You should have told me to stay the hell away.” Bucky muttered and you felt your features soften into a sad smile.

“I was never scared of you. You’ve been coming here for months, we’ve been alone together for most of that and you’ve never made me feel anything but safe.” You said, watching as he looked at you in shock before shaking his head.

“Safe?” He spat the word like it was poison. “I’m a monster.”

Your heart ached for the man. You had known a bit about the Winter Soldier before meeting Bucky but hadn’t researched it once you had met him, it felt wrong to do it, you figured when the time came the man would share his story with you if he wanted to.

“I don’t know your whole story but I do know it wasn’t your fault. I know you didn’t ask for what those people did to you. I know you’re not the monster, they are.” You told him, voice low and firm causing Bucky to look at you with wide eyes, desperately wanting to believe you but unable to.

“But I should have been stronger.” He whispered, a choked out sentence that broke your heart.

“Listen I can’t even begin to imagine what sort of hell you’ve been through but I do know you, this version of you, the one that you should be so proud of because you aren’t what they made you, who you were is not who you are now. You’ve got so much more to look forward to, a whole life to live as happily as you can, a big fuck you to the people who are hopefully gone.” You chuckled slightly, tears filling your eyes as you took Bucky’s hands in yours.

“Thank you.” Bucky croaked out, his own tears welling up in his eyes as he squeezed your hands gently in his. “Thank you.”

“I’m really glad you found this place.” You whispered to him, smiling shakily at him.

Bucky held your gaze, pulling his hands from yours before making his way around the counter that separated you. His flesh hand came up to your cheek, you willingly letting him tilt your head up towards him as he looked down at you with a soft smile, eyes red from where the tears stung at them.

“I’m glad I found you.” He whispered back, leaning down and pressing his forehead against yours.

Your eyes fell closed as you pressed forward, closing the space between you and feeling a rush of warmth run through you as your lips connected. The kiss was soft and gentle, neither of you needing to rush it even though it had been building for months. You took your time, savouring the feeling of Bucky’s lips against yours, the taste of cupcakes and coffee on his lips was intoxicating and you knew you were done for, there was no going back after this, you were all in.

When the two of you pulled away you were both silent for a moment, needing the chance to catch your breath. Bucky’s forehead rested back against yours, his thumb brushing along your cheekbone as he smiled down at you with you smiling softly back up at him.

“I can’t promise I’m any good at this anymore.” Bucky murmured and you laughed softly. “But I really want to try, if you’ll let me.”

“I like you, Bucky. I already know you have bad days, I want to be there for all of them. I don’t care how hard it is, I want to be with you.” You told him honestly, closing the distance between you again to kiss him softly.

Bucky pulled you close, wrapping his metal arm around you to hold you against him, promising himself he’d get this right. You were right, he was alive and HYDRA was dead, all those monsters wouldn’t live to see another day and Bucky had the chance to live the rest of his life happier than they could ever imagine.

He wanted that.

He wanted that with you.

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Dear John

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Prompt - ‘Run as fast as you can.’

When you had first met House hadn’t known what to think of the man. You hadn’t caught his attention, less vocal than some of the others competing for a fellowship under him but he had caught yours. He was so self-assured, the way he walked into a room and immediately started talking, not needing to see if he had everyone’s attention because he already knew he did. The games he played, putting you all against each other so obviously, eliminating people from any chance of a fellowship mid-sentence. 

You hadn’t known if he was a good man, it was hard to determine when you were in such a competitive environment where the man only wanted the best of the best but you had known he was a good doctor, sure he might not have given a damn about the patient but he was always determined to get a diagnosis. 

You had caught his attention two weeks into the fight for a fellowship. It had been an impossible case, not even he could figure it out, no matter how long he spent bouncing ideas back and forth just like the ball he threw against the wall. It was driving him crazy and even worse was that none of his potential fellows could figure it out either, how was he meant to create another perfect team when this lot couldn’t come up with anything? 

That was the day he noticed you. Of course he’d seen you before but you hadn’t done anything to catch his attention. He’d seen the way you’d open your mouth to say something only to close it, he’d seen you stick to the back of the group. He hadn’t said anything though, sure you were pretty and any other time he would’ve been all over you but it wasn’t worth his time if you weren’t going to be around long enough to make it fun. 

He stood at the front of the room, the remaining 26 hopefuls sat in seats around the room, all silently contemplating the case. House’s gaze shifted around the room, seeing nothing but stumped and defeated looks until he got to you.  

You were the only one in the room, himself included, who didn’t look disappointed, in fact you were sitting up straight in your seat whereas everyone else had slumped in theirs. Your eyebrows were knitted together, not in a frown but in a way that told House your thoughts were running wild. 

“You, number 7, come with me.” House said suddenly, watching as you startled in your seat and looked at him wide eyed as every gaze in the room turned to you. “Now.”

House didn’t wait after that, turning on his heels and leaving the room, hearing your footsteps hurrying behind him. He didn’t say anything in the elevator, staying silent until you both stood looking into the patient's room.

“What’s your diagnosis then, number 7?” He finally asked and your head shot from the patient to stare at House but he kept his eyes forward, waiting for you to speak.

“I don’t-”

“Oh don’t do that.” House interrupted, turning to glare at you. “Every single person in that room looked devastated. They couldn’t figure this out but you, no you have a diagnosis. You wanna work for me? Speak up, even if it’s idiotic it gives us something new to work with. So, go, what’s your theory?”

You took a shaky breath, letting his words roll around your head for a moment before nodding and turning back to look at the patient.

“Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.” You said, watching House out of the corner of your eye to see his eyebrows knit together. “Her husband said nearly a year ago she became clumsy, people with CJD lose balance and coordination, they see double or they have blind spots. He said it became worse a few months ago and this causes loss of brain function and mobility, her brain is forgetting how to do the things she’s been doing her whole life. Add that with going from a highly respected professor to not knowing basic answers to the questions we’ve asked, it makes sense.” You defended your theory, shifting to look back at House as he stayed silent, showing no signs of how he felt about your answer. “I know it’s a rare disease but-”

“You’re right.” House said as he cut you off again and you could do nothing but stare at him in disbelief. “It makes sense. Have a biopsy done to confirm.”

And that was that. House walked away leaving you staring at him before you were able to snap yourself back to reality and do as he requested.

House had been surprised by you. He had honestly expected that you wouldn’t have made it much further into this little game he had made of gaining a fellowship but now, now he suspected you’d already won and he was more than happy to focus his attention on you now.

After that day House watched as you grew, confident in yourself now and offering theories and diagnosis’. You blushed and stammered under his newly given attention but refused to give into the man’s request of dinner or skipping the meal and heading straight to the bedroom.

It wasn’t that you weren’t interested in him, you were but you refused to let anything happen, needing to know that if you were awarded a fellowship it would be because you deserved it not because you were sleeping with the man giving them out. 

Once you were in though you held out for only a few weeks before you found yourself sat opposite the doctor in a surprisingly nice restaurant, House seemingly making an effort with his appearance and it was easy to let yourself get swept up with him and even easier to let your guard down.

It didn’t matter that he was your boss, it didn’t matter that he was years older than you, all you cared about was how he made you feel. 

And so just like that you found yourself getting wrapped up in House, whether it be going out together for food after work or falling into bed with him, suddenly your whole life was consumed by House.

“So you and House, huh?” Cameron asked as you sat down at one of the tables in the cafeteria, taking a seat opposite you with her own lunch.

“What about it?” You asked, frowning slightly at her. 

You hadn’t spent much time with House’s old fellows, only Foreman who had been brought back whilst you were fighting for a spot. From what you heard Cameron and House used to have a thing but you hadn’t pried, not sure how serious it ever got or if it had just been a fling. 

“You like him?” She asked, ignoring your question and you tried to figure out what her plan was. “I’m not here to cause trouble, me and House, there was never anything there.”

“There was something.” You told her and watched as she sighed.

“I had a crush on him. I realised it was a bad idea.” She told you after a moment to think about it.

“Why?” 

“You want my advice?” She asked you, sitting up in her seat and continuing without giving you a chance to answer. “When it comes to House, just run. Run as fast as you can because that man is incapable of putting somebody else’s feelings before himself. This won’t end the way you want it to and you’ll be left alone, heartbroken and angry. You’ll have to see him at work and you’ll hate it.”

“Thanks for the advice but just because it ended badly for you doesn’t mean it will for me.” You said, standing from your seat and leaving the cafeteria.

Cuddy was the next person to warn you away from him. She had managed to catch you just as you were heading towards your car and told you to be careful, told you that you were a good doctor and she’d hate to see House ruin that.

You weren’t so sure what to say so just smiled politely and excused yourself, brushing off her warning just as you had Cameron’s. 

You refused to think much more about the two of them as you pulled up to House’s and the man let you in, immediately attaching his lips to yours and pushing all thoughts and warnings out of your head.

It stayed good for a while, or maybe it had never been good and you were just so blinded by your feelings for him that you couldn’t see how bad it was. 

When things eventually took a turn you tried so hard to blame it on something else, convinced yourself that it was just the pain in his leg that made his mood shift more often than you were used to. 

“We had plans.” You said into the phone, already sitting in the restaurant House had said he would meet you at after his meeting with Cuddy. 

“This is important.” House told you, his tone even and not showing much concern for the fact that he was standing you up. “It’s just dinner.”

“Yeah, yeah it’s just dinner.” You nodded even as your heart sank.

The next time he called you it was like it was a different man, so apologetic and full of promises to take you out again, to make it up to you. You had smiled and written his earlier behaviour off as Cuddy frustrating him but it started happening more and more to the point you dreaded answering his calls, not sure which version of House was going to be waiting on the other side.

You were more than used to getting stood up at this point, House differed between having excuses for not showing up or just brushing you off when you finally did manage to catch him. 

You could feel yourself becoming drained, dealing with House’s mood swings was starting to take its toll on you. The nights you spent with him where just as confusing as everything else, some days, usually the days he had seen you withdrawing, he showered you in affection, kissed every inch of your body and made you feel so loved, other days he shut you out, glared and snapped at you until you left and somehow always managed to make you feel like it was your fault. 

Even during work, House made you feel useless, no matter how right your diagnosis was, no matter how much the others stuck up for you it was like you couldn’t do anything. You couldn’t remember how many times you’d walked away and cried silently in the toilets or gone home only to cry yourself to sleep.

You hated that you felt so bad about yourself, you hated that you were doing everything you could to please this man and he always made you feel like you were the problem. You hated that you hadn’t taken Cameron and Cuddy’s warnings when they were given, hated that you were so wrapped up in how good House made you feel that you had let him treat you like you were nothing just to soak up the small bits of whatever this sick, twisted thing he had convinced you was love was.

House liked his puzzles, he liked his games and he liked answers. He liked knowing how far he could push you and still have you running back to him, still having you thinking he could do no wrong.

You couldn’t do it anymore. You couldn’t keep running away from the hospital in tears, you couldn’t keep playing his games with their ever changing rules that you couldn’t understand.

“You can’t leave, we can work this out.” House told you, a soft hurt look on his face.

You’d usually fall for it, usually shake your head like you were being foolish and fall into his arms, savour the day or two of the House you had fallen for before starting the cycle all over again when he eventually turned cruel.

Now that you had made the decision to leave you couldn’t believe how you had missed how bad everything about your relationship with him had been. How had you been so blind?

“That won’t work anymore. Whatever game you’ve been playing with me is done, go find some other girl who’s too naive, who wants to believe there’s good in people to mess with because I’m done.” You told him, feeling a spike of pride for finally standing up to him.

“What game? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” House sighed, leaning against the desk. “Look, I’m sorry, I know things have been rough but I’ll be better. I promise.”

You’d believed that the first time. And the second. And third and fourth time. 

You wouldn’t fall for it again.

“Bye House.” You said softly.

“Don’t do this.” He pleaded with you but you ignored him and turned to walk out of his office.

On the way down to Cuddy’s office you bumped into Cameron and because word spread like wildfire in the hospital she gave you a sad smile.

“I hate to say it but I told you so.” Cameron said and you couldn’t help but laugh, a small laugh that bubbled into a slightly maniacal one.

“I promise to listen to you next time.” You swore and Cameron laughed back, squeezing your shoulder gently.

“If you ever need anything…” Cameron told you and you nodded gratefully, smiling back at her before her pager alerted her she was needed and you said goodbye, heading into Cuddy’s office.

Cuddy was sympathetic, she’d been waiting months for this meeting, knowing that at some point House was going to ruin it and send one of their best fellows running out the door. 

“If you decide to come back I’ll find you a spot somewhere, somewhere far away from House.” Cuddy told you and you smiled at her, thankful for your time at the hospital and hoping one day you would take her up on her offer. “It’s a shame to lose you.”

“Thank you for everything.” You told her softly before standing and shaking the hand she reached out towards you.

“You’re really just gonna leave? Like this meant nothing to you?” House asked as you left the clinic, walking alongside you towards the exit.

“I loved you, House, and all I wanted was for you to love me back but all you ever did was mess with me. You never loved me, hell you never even cared about me!” You told him, yanking your arm from him when he tried to stop you.

“Oh please, I missed a few dates and suddenly I’m the bad guy.” House rolled his eyes and there he went again, trying to make you the problem.

“House, I’m done. I’m done trying to get you to love me, I’m done playing your games, to shifting my whole life to revolve around you. I’m done feeling like I’m not good enough. Tell everyone it’s me who doesn't understand you, who betrayed you, say whatever you want but I’m done with you.” You told him, refusing to let your eyes tear up, knowing House would see it and jump on it.

You took a deep breath, behind him Cuddy was making her way out of the clinic, watching you and House carefully but you just shook your head because you didn’t need her to intervene. 

You weren’t lying when you told House you were done so you ignored whatever retort he had and turned away from him, walking out of the door and finally let the tears fall, sitting in your car until you were able to breathe properly before making your way home with tears running down your cheeks.

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hiii!! i just want to let you know that my username was @cilliansangel i just changed my username and i have re signed up to your taglist. im so sorry for the inconvenience

xx

hey!!! thank you for adding yourself again! it’s no trouble honestly, thanks for letting me know I’ll update my taglist now!💜xx

You're Losing Me.

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Prompt - ‘Do something, babe, say something. Lose something, babe, risk something. Choose something babe, I got nothing to believe, unless you're choosing me.’

Notes - I know I posted a House version of this yesterday but this song has such a hold on me so here's Obi-Wan's version.

You had known Obi-Wan your whole life, had trained by his side since you were children and formed a friendship that had the older Jedi raising their eyebrows and whispering about attachments. You had been inseparable since you’d met, drawn to one another like it was the will of the Force and never once drifted apart from each other in all your years together.

It wasn’t until you were a few years older, well into your Padawan training, that you both began to see your friendship had transitioned into something more, something that had you feeling lighter than ever, something that had your chest feeling warm and your cheeks heating up. 

You were in love with Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan who was always there when you needed him, Obi-Wan who was always ready to pull you into his arms and talk about everything and nothing for hours, Obi-Wan who never hesitated to stand up for you when you let people put you down. You were in love with the man who stood for everything good, who was so kind and patient, who never gave you anything but fond and happy memories.

You loved him and you didn’t know what to do. What was there to do when you dedicated your whole life to an Order that forbade attachments? You couldn’t fathom how the Order could think something as beautiful as the feelings you felt for Obi-Wan could possibly lead you down a Dark path.

Obi-Wan had known he was in love with you for a long time, from the moment his gaze started to linger on you for a little longer when you looked away, from the moment he realised he longed for your company when you were pulled apart by separate missions, from the moment he realised all he wanted to do when you smiled at him was to pull you in and taste your lips.

He hadn’t been able to stop himself from doing just that when he was finally able to steal a moment alone with you when you returned from a mission two weeks later than intended after peace talks had turned violent and you and your Master had gotten caught in the midst of it. 

You hadn’t had more than a moment to register what was happening before you felt Obi-Wan’s lips on yours the second you walked into the room, freezing for a moment before sinking into the kiss, relaxing for the first time in weeks as your hands gripped Obi-Wan’s robes, both of you needing to assure yourselves you were safe.

From there everything evolved until you were sneaking around the Temple, keeping your relationship a secret, knowing you were breaking the rules and not caring if it meant you got to call Obi-Wan yours. It didn’t matter that you couldn’t tell anybody, it didn't matter that your relationship was built on stolen moments and secret meetings, you knew one day things would be different, you didn’t care about anything else.

The secret lasted well into knighthood and when Obi-Wan became a Master, having to train the young Skywalker boy it put a strain on your relationship. Suddenly it wasn’t just you and Obi-Wan sneaking around together, ignoring the whispers and the knowing glances from Qui-Gon as he left the quarters more and more frequently giving you and Obi-Wan plenty of time together. Suddenly in the space of one mission there was a Padawan and no time for stealing time together, now it was all about longing glances as the other was thrown more and more into their duties.

Eventually though it became easier to deal with, you and Obi-Wan were assigned missions together with Anakin coming along but as the years went on you made it work. You were sure the Padawan knew there was something going on between you and Obi-Wan, the cheeky grins and badly concealed winks he sent Obi-Wan’s way as he came up with excuses to leave the room for a while gave as much away,

You weren’t complaining, you loved any time you got to spend with Obi-Wan, you wished for more days that were spent laying side by side whether it be in a bed or a field littered with flowers but you knew that this was all he could offer you and all you could offer him right now.

So it went on like that, years passing by in secret as you loved each other quietly. You wanted it to be enough but there was a small part of you that was more and more persistent as the years passed, hopeful for something more.

You knew you’d leave the Order for the man, all he had to do was ask. You wanted him to ask more than anything, wanted him to steal you away in the middle of the night and put as much distance as possible between you and the rules of the Jedi Order. You wanted to build a life with him, one that didn’t need to be clouded by secrets and lies, one where you could kiss him whenever you wanted without always looking over your shoulder.

You wanted him to ask you.

He never did though and when the war started you pushed all those thoughts away. It wasn’t the time to leave, that’s what you told yourself anyway as you threw yourself into the war efforts, aching as you and Obi-Wan were separated yet again, only reunited when the Council ordered it. 

There were a few times you got to spend longer together, days that were spent on Coruscant, still surrounded by the war but easier to ignore as you made your way to Obi-Wan’s quarters after a long day of consulting with the Council.

“I’d say that was a rather successful meeting, wouldn’t you? If what we have planned works we’ll have Akippee in no time.” Obi-Wan grinned at you as he moved around the quarters, seemingly unable to try and leave the war outside of these walls, to savour the little bit of time you were able to have together.

You just hummed at him and let your fingers trail along the back of the sofa as you looked around the room, the room that had once brought you peace, had felt more like home than any place had before, the soft orange hues lighting the room but now it felt different, it felt empty.

Obi-Wan continued to talk, hardly noticing the fact it was a one sided conversation as your mind went into overdrive. You weren’t sure how he couldn’t see something was wrong, how could he glance over at you and smile, how could he chuckle and speak and not notice you were miles away questioning everything?

Eventually Obi-Wan led you into the bedroom, stating that you must both be exhausted from such a long day and it wasn’t long until the lights went out. Obi-Wan fell asleep easily, not pulling you close to his chest like he would have years back and you ignored the way another bit of your heart withered at the loss.

The sound of Obi-Wan breathing evenly and shuffling every so often used to comfort you, it used to lull you into a peaceful sleep and leave you well rested. Now it set your nerves on edge, it made you feel like you were alone even though you could reach out and touch him, though the space between you felt infinitely bigger than it was.

As he slept you stayed awake, sat up staring into the darkness of the room, letting your thoughts run wild, letting yourself wonder what was happening, letting yourself wonder if it was time to face the reality of what had become of you and him.

You loved Obi-Wan, the man was all you had ever known and you didn’t want to know anything else. You loved him more dearly than anything in the whole galaxy and yet here you were with him, feeling lonelier than you had ever felt in your life. 

All you wanted was a life with Obi-Wan, you wanted a proper, real life with Obi-Wan. One far away from the rules and regulations of the Jedi, one where attachments weren’t something to be feared, one where you could kiss him freely and without judgement, you wanted to give him every part of your life, you wanted to be his wife, you wanted to give him a family.

You wanted to give him everything.

You had tried to deny it for so long, tried to convince yourself you didn’t actually need that. You didn’t need to be Obi-Wan’s bride, you didn’t need to start a family with him and live your life openly to prove you loved him.

But it was never about proving anything, it was just something you wanted so badly and Obi-Wan had never given any indication he wanted anything more than you had. He seemed so content with what you had, never going forward, just staying where you were. 

There were too many problems with your relationship, sure the war could be blame for leaving you without seeing each other for months on end but you truly believed if the war hadn’t happened this would still have been the outcome, maybe it would have bought you a few more months maybe even years but it was always going to end up here.

There were too many problems and Obi-Wan didn’t see them, either he refused to see them or he was really so blinded to them. When you finally reunited it was like there was no time apart for him, like everything was still the same. Your heart was breaking and he was fine where you were. 

It was falling apart, you could see it breaking down before your eyes and yet Obi-Wan couldn’t. You wanted to scream at him, beg and plead for him to do something, to show it meant something to him, to show you meant something to him. You wanted him to take a risk, to leave the Order with you, to show that he would choose you. But he never did.

That night you slept fitfully, feeling even more drained than you had been the night before, only able to glare at Obi-Wan in the morning with a storm of emotions in your eyes as he went about getting ready for the day whilst keeping up a steady stream of conversation. He looked at you with a smile on his face and you wanted to scream some more, wanted to shake him and beg him to look at you, to see that you were dying, to see that he was losing you.

All you wanted was for him to see you, to see the mess that was your relationship and fight to save it, to do something to show he loved you. You wanted to believe your relationship could survive but your heartbeat felt like it was fading with every day that passed, it felt like you were going to die before Obi-Wan realised something was wrong.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You interrupted him, looking as shocked as he did at the outburst, not fully registering the words leaving your mouth or the decision to save yourself before your heart really did stop.

“Is everything ok?” Obi-Wan asked, his eyebrows knitting together as he put down his caf and turned to you, seemingly giving you all his attention but still not seeing you, not seeing how worn down you were.

“No.” You finally forced yourself to say after a few moments of silence passed where you could only stare at him, debating if you wanted to do this. “Obi-Wan, this isn’t working, we’re not working.”

“I don’t understand.” Obi-Wan told you softly, his hand coming up to scratch at his beard as he tried to figure out what was happening and why you were suddenly so unhappy with your relationship.

“I know you don’t.” You told him, voice shaky as you fought back tears. “I know you don’t, Obi-Wan and that’s the problem. You don’t understand despite all the signals I’ve given, you don’t understand even though it’s so clear to see.”

“What’s clear to see?” He asked you and the genuine confusion coming from him hurt your heart even more.

“Would you leave the Order for me?” You asked, never wanting to ask the question, not when you knew what the answer would be but it was the only thing you could think to ask to get him to understand something about how far your relationship had fallen.

Obi-Wan was silent for a moment too long, a moment that he actually seemed to recognise lasted for too long if the regretful look on his face meant anything. You let out a chuckle that sounded more like a sob and nodded, you’d already known the answer, if he was going to say yes he would have already left.

“I never wanted to lose you but you, you won’t do something, you won’t risk something to fight for us. You won’t even choose me, Obi-Wan. I can’t do this anymore, I’m tired, I’m so tired of being lonely.” You cried, a few tears slipping down your cheeks as you slid your robe on.

“Where are you going?” He asked quietly and you nearly sobbed, even now, even when you were walking out of the door he wouldn’t fight for you.

“To talk to Master Yoda, I can’t stay Obi-Wan, I can’t.” You told him and opened the door, waiting a moment for him to say something, to do something but he didn’t. He stayed silent and let you walk out of his quarters.

You barely held yourself together, hearing the door shut behind you and forced your feet to move until you got to an empty room. Only then did you let yourself fall apart, sobs wracking your body as you finally let everything out, everything you had been ignoring for years.

All you had wanted was for him to give you something, you had only ever wanted him to choose you the way you would always chose him but instead he hadn’t even fought to stop you from leaving, letting you go like you hadn’t given him your best years, hadn’t given him everything you had only to be left alone feeling like you heart wouldn’t start anymore.

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