Mike Newton - Tumblr Posts

Midnight Sun Drinking Game

Every time Eddie thinks about killing, maiming, or general negative thoughts against poor Mike Newton

...That’s it. That’s literally all you need to get blackout drunk.

Actual Conversation about Inviting Mike Newton to the Wedding

Bella: Should we invite Mike? I mean, he's been a friend, but it also seems a little mean...

Edward:

Edward: No, we should definitely invite him.

Edward: Actually, we should give him a front row seat for that matter!

Considering that Mike Newton falling for Bella managed to get him hated by both vampires and werewolves, I now require a spin-off series about him living normally...

Except that he always falls for the person already taken by the supernatural entity.

Literally, I just want a sitcom of Mike narrowly avoiding death by jealous pissed-off zombies, faeries, merfolk, angels, demons, kraken, etc.

And the one person that manages to fall for him is a supernatural being pissed-off by the fact that they a) have to keep this stupid human alive to b) get him to notice them.

Ah, Mike, you're not escaping your bad luck so easily...