Midnight Sun Drinking Game

Midnight Sun Drinking Game

Every time Eddie thinks about killing, maiming, or general negative thoughts against poor Mike Newton

...That’s it. That’s literally all you need to get blackout drunk.

M*A*S*H 4077 During Covid

Hawkeye is going stir-crazy being stuck and isolated. His contributions to the “socially distanced” movement include a long-range alcohol distiller that can dispense two drinks six feet apart, a card-dealing machine that can deal the cards from a safe distance (while also giving him an upper hand in what cards he wants, shh), and socially distanced pranks (sorry Frank)

Trapper gets so desperate that he makes a full-body condom complete with a filtered breathing hole to ensure no sickness. Nothing stands between this man and his favourite activity. Nothing.

BJ is writing home all the time to check how Peg and the kids are doing – he’s so concerned whenever one of them gets sick that Hawkeye has had to physically tied him to his bed to stop him from pacing around the Swamp

Frank is absolutely an antivaxxer and conspiracy theorist. Seriously, you can trick him into believing anything. He does, however, loves the new rules and regulations and enforces them whenever possible (though Hawkeye always gets under his skin enough to get Frank in trouble of almost breaking social distancing). When he gets the weakest possible case of Covid, he absolutely believes he is dying and begs Margaret to nurse him back to health

Margaret is stressed to the max – she is overworked, overtired, and somehow has decided that she needs to master 16 different lockdown hobbies before the new normal despite having even less time than before

Donald Penobscot claims to have gotten vaccinated before he comes to visit Margaret, but he’s deathly afraid of needles. When Margaret finds out about his lie, she finally has an excuse to stab him (for medical reasons only of course – not like she is taking out any emotional frustration…)

Winchester has read every single research paper on Covid and is quick to correct anyone who states a fact possible wrong. Seriously, this man insists on rewriting all of the rules every time a new research paper comes out. Hawkeye and BJ pretend to be conspiracy theorist for a while just to drive him mental

Colonel Potter believes that perhaps this lockdown and social distancing will finally allow him to get some peace and quiet. And then he remembers that he is a doctor. And now he apparently has to start locking the Ivermectin for his horse because some idiot is trying to steal it (or whatever the 1950 equivalent is since it was only invented in 1975)... He is currently considering telling Mildred that he will be retiring early

Henry Blake freaks out the moment he hears about the pandemic. He can’t even imagine all the paperwork that will need to be created (Radar’s already made copies and labelled them), the protocols that need to be put in place (Radar’s drafts are simply pending approval via Henry’s signature), and not to mention that his alcohol supply is already running terribly low (Radar has been hiding away some to ration Henry’s drinking, but thankfully he thought ahead to order more before the supply chain completely gave out)

Father Mulcahy is currently broadcasting Sunday mass over the PA system. It’s not his favourite medium for liturgy but at least it’s something. He is getting concerned about how he suddenly needs between locks for the ceremonial wine compared to usual though…

Klinger pulls schemes twice a day insisting that he has Covid – but not just any Covid! This strain is deadly, so deadly that the only cure can be found in Toledo, Ohio. When he does get Covid, he is asymptomatic and just stuck in insolation for two weeks (at least he has more time to work on his dresses…)

Radar is definitely freaking out. He’s not sure whether he should wear a hazmat suit or if his bear needs to be the one wearing it. He’s trying to keep the camp in order, but this is definitely not making things easier

Zale suggests every type of “Covid prevention” practice you can think of (he definitely tried to steal Colonel Potter’s Ivermectin). As for them working though, well… the doctors have requested someone watch his actions 24/7 because they are sick of seeing him and his new medical emergency

Colonel Flag is an antivaxxer. Actually, no, that’s just a cover for him to infiltrate the antivaxxer society and learn what their motives are (for what is anyone’s game, really). Except, no, he’s just trying to get chummy with the doctors and trick them into revealing what they are really putting the vaccines. Only, no, he’s actually…

Sidney is observing the madness from a distance, sighing, and stating that this is seems like a normal reaction for the M*A*S*H 4077 to be having

okay, piper greenmantle everyone. is she lady macbeth? is colin greenmantle macbeth himself? is the raven cycle ALL just macbeth. idk seems like it to me.....

absolutely love tam lin. would die for it. world’s oldest toxic yet wholesome couple story. janet is literally like wanna touch moss wanna touch moss touch moss do NOT want to weave boring tapestries, fucks off to the woods. picks some flowers. tam lin appears. says hey bitch those are my flowers. janet says like hell they are and picks more. tam lin is like THIS BITCH okay guess we gotta fuck now. they fuck. janet gets pregnant. her sorry sap of a dad is like h-h-hey janet you look like you might be pregnant haha just kidding….unlesss? maybe? so will you uh maybe marry one of my knights to legitimize it? aha. janet says fuck YOU no, all of your knights eat shit, and goes back to carterhaugh to get herself an herbal abortion. tam lin shows up. says hey what the fuck. why you trying to kill our baby. janets like what the fuck is your deal anyways? are you a fairy or what? do they have child support in tir na nog cause i doubt it anyways leave me alone. tam lin explains tragic backstory as a human with his manipulative gf the fairy queen. tells janet how she can free him so they can get married. janet’s like bet. janet waits for the fairy queen’s posse to go riding by with her bitch boy tam lin in tow. knocks him off his horse. holds on to this man like a mechanical bull while fairy queen gf turns him into like 5 different non- human things including lions and bears. finally she makes it through the test and he’s turned back into a man but he’s butt ass naked. so she covers him up with her **HIGHLY SYMBOLIC** mantle. end scene. iconic. breathtaking. i am screaming into my pillow

Tam Lin retelling??????!!?!

I love Tam Lin, and I love Janet, but there are no retellings that take advantage of the fact that a) Janet was the kind of weirdo who set out one morning to lose her virginity to the mystical creature squatting on her land with a reputation for having sex with and/or demanding tolls from maidens, b) Tam Lin is what you get when a fairy queen takes a changeling, i.e., a badly-socialized, magic-addled waif of a Romantic poet, with more dramatic instincts than common sense.

All I want in my life is for to Janet march into the ruins of Carterhaugh, yanking up roses by their roots, and for Tam Lin to show up, demanding her kirtle green or the price of her maidenhead—

Only for her to—stay? afterwards???

And there’s this weird three-week span where Janet just…doesn’t leave, but keeps having sex with him, and looks at him with her serious dark eyes and a scowl, and then laughs at him—at him! Tam Lin, beloved of the Fairy Queen!—and Tam Lin falls inexorably and horribly in love. (He likes her ankles, and the unlovely knob of her knees; he kisses the pox-scars at her cheek and though Tam Lin is beautiful and fair beyond measure, he is jealous of her, the scar where the shears cut into her hand.)

She scoffs when he shows her magic. “What use is it?” she asks as he offers her the dazzling armful of jewels. “I can make cheese and parse a contract, speak a little Latin for the church-men and add up my father’s yearly taxes. Can your magic do that?”

She is different than everything he’s ever known, and Tam Lin is in love. Then she leaves.

She leaves.

Tam Lin spends exactly eight months pining, panicking, wondering if she will ever come back—and yes, writing epically bad poetry about Janet, His One True Love, Whom He Shall Tragically Pine For His Whole Life Long. He compares her to a dove. It’s bad. (The Fairy Queen has him sit beside her at Midsummer, and studies him with cool eyes, flat and lovely as silver. He shudders beneath them, he didn’t used to.)

(Afterwards, he is sick in a bush, his stomach trying to empty itself of the rich fairy sweets, the meats he loved in his youth, that taste of ash and nothing more on his tongue. Is it real? Janet had asked. I want nothing that is not real.)

Tam Lin pines so long and so longingly that he’s shocked when Janet herself shows up on the even of Halloween. “Are you sick?” he asks, because he’s never seen anyone’s middle swell up like that, like she swallowed something huge, and it sits in her stomach still.

“No, you ass,” Janet, His One True Love, says. “I’m with child.”

Tam Lin blinks. “Oh,” he says faintly.

……and she held him fast and feared him not, and afterwards, he’s curled up against her side in the weak morning light of All Souls’ Day. He’s still shivering from the feeling of his skin tearing off and then twisting up around him, twisting him into another shape. It’s fine, it’s fine, he just has to keep his paws—claws—hands fisted in Janet’s kirtle. Until he remembers that his throat is human can only make faint guttural noises, that he cannot purr. He cannot wind himself around her, coils of—no, no.

“Come on,” Janet says, not unkindly. Her fingers are very gentle, where they comb through his fur—hair. “Come. Come with me.”

She helps him to his feet, and Tam Lin is dizzy with how light he is, absent the Queen’s geas. He could detach from the earth and float away. 

Except Janet is there, holding onto his hands. “Well?” she asks, and it is the first time Tam Lin has seen her uncertain—her arms full of lion, a snake, and still she’d held tight, but now he is a man, and that is a different sort of animal.

“I follow you,” Tam Lin says, and he does.

What to do When You Find Yourself an Unwitting Acolyte 

You must discover which god you serve. Study any idols or religious art you see but do so in secret; if the others see you, they will find you either suspicious or impassioned and you will not like what results from either. 

Always leave before daily worship, this way your god will not know you are a part of its congregation and you will be safe. 

If you are unable to do so, keep your eyes down. Do not look when the air around you changes colour or when the ground starts to scream. Cover your eyes with a consecrated cloth and keep silent. 

Leave nothing of yours behind in the sanctuary. You do not know who or what may find it and grow curious. 

Be warned. Should your god find anything you have left behind, they may take it as an offering. This will please them. You do not want their favour. 

Do not invoke the name of your god. Do not let it learn your voice or hear your pleas, for once it knows that you pray to it, it will shelter you in the heat of its many compassionate hearts. 

Never go near the sanctuary property after nightfall. This is the time in which the gods confer and they may be in need of the services of an acolyte. 

The skulls in the tabernacle are only to be touched by the ecclesiastics. You mustn’t go near them. You have yet to learn how to block out their songs. 

Should you find yourself having been given the terrible honour of becoming one of those most high ranking of priests, you must remember to always wear your gloves. Direct contact with any divine body fragments may result in your immediate consecration.

Do not sing any hymns. Do not even let them teach you the words. Once you know them, they will crawl their way up your throat and shriek themselves to the heavens until your voice is left rasping and broken, and even then a whisper will do. 

Lie to yourself, even if just to keep your sanity. Tell yourself that you are beholden to no god and that you worship nothing. Ignore the way your cup refills on its own, the liquid shining gold and tempting. Ignore the jubilant songs that echo through your house, shaking the walls and wrapping your heart in a frenzy of devotion. Do not think on it. 

Your god loves you. Even as you avoid and reject them, they will always love you. And you will love them too. Eventually.