Musings-on-cannibalism - Tumblr Posts
Does anybody remember this?
I would say I have too much free time, but I don't. I actually made time for this.
What am I doing with my life?
Bring Me Little Water, Sylvie by Leadbelly covered by Pete Seeger covered by the New York Philharmonic Kazorchastra
So, uh, this is an uncomfortable one. You know the dinosaur sounds from Jurassic Park that framed the way you imagined every dinosaur ever? They were actually recordings of animals boning, or just about to bone.
The velociraptor raspy bark, a basic means of communication for the dinosaurs in the film, were actually cut from raunchy turtle bits. "It's somewhat embarrassing, but when the raptors bark at each other to communicate, it's a tortoise having sex," Jurassic Park sound designer Gary Rydstrom told NY Mag. Non-sex sounds that went into the raptor's effects include a nasty goose hiss, which is what you hear just before Muldoon gets mauled by the clever raptor girl. (Spoiler?)
The flock of Gallimimus that almost runs down Dr. Grant, Tim, and Lex, was recorded from a horse in heat beckoning over a male stud (no, really), and when one gets eaten by a surprise T-Rex, its screams are taken from a dolphin in heat.
Not all the sound effects are from horny animals, of course. Some are adorable, like the T-Rex's roar, which was chiefly designed from a baby elephant. You can check out more sounds and origins over at NY Mag. But the broad lesson here, maybe, is that animals make really interesting sounds when they're having sex. Some of which make it into movies. [NY Mag]
As it turns out, there was no need to worry about breaking the children. We were already exposed to the sound of two tortoises (which are in the turtle family) making sex.
Birthday poem
a birthday poem from me to a friend *to be read by geoffrey rush*
one foine, chilly morn, in the twilighted gloom a joyous young mother, ensconced in her room was awaiting a doctor as labor did loom
well they pumped her with drugs, so she shant feel her face, nor her nethers, nor nickers, nor any old place as she pushed out her troll babe, at devilish pace
the mother and father took one look at the kid and tried to sell him for fifty pence or a quid but no one bought the baby, already beard-ed
so they took him home, and left him to the cats and his new feline mothers bottle-fed him on rats and he slept on a bed made of thrush woven mats
now the boy has grown up, to his twenty first year and all of his friends gave a thunderous cheer. and silently wondered if he’d buy them beer.
so go forth young greggers, go wrestle with bears go shit out a lightning storm, dont burn any hairs on your finely maned body, all silky and lean with a top hat or bowler, and debonair glean you will ride towards the future on the back of a whale with a trollop on each arm to blow wind in your sail and if ever you should want a written biography just remember to look no further than me.