Nerevoryn - Tumblr Posts
im back (yearly) asking the same question, where did the fountain of forgetfulness disappear to again? it’s not on the website. did the author decide to delete the work for good this time? :(((
EDIT: for anyone interested, here’s the link to a copied version i had saved on my phone
it was supposed to be an epub file but it’s just a folder bc i don’t know how to extract it properly, but viewed from a computer browser, you can find the chapters in .xhtml files ✨
augh i wanna write a fic that follows nerevar pre-tribunal shenanigans. but like.
its nerevar with memories of the nerevarine. he knows he will be killed.
i was thinking this is a different kalpa maybe, a different reality. he wonders if this is all just some fucked up dream dagoth ur is haunting him with. he wakes up in a screaming panic one night camping with the caravan, believing none of this is real
he meets the others like before. vivec he meets first, a scrappy gang leader on the streets who propositions him for sex in exchange for some money. he looks thin, sickly, clearly having skooma more than food some nights. part of nerevar wants to hate him so badly. to just leave him behind. vehk can suffer on his own. nerevar knows its unwise to keep people who will betray you close.
but he still asks vehk to travel with them and see a better world. better things. to become something more than a body that might one day be left in an alleyway after a gang fight gone wrong.
he meets the others too. sotha sil after the destruction of his city. almalexia as he rises in power. he wants so badly to leave them behind or kill them in cold blood. they killed him too, after all, for something as stupid and selfish as power.
but wouldnt it be unfair to kill the tribunal for crimes another version of themselves had committed? what if in this reality they never kill him? what if he lives his life slightly differently, helps them all a little more, and they all can live in peace?
he’s still friends with voryn too. and its one night he wakes up gasping and swearing and sobbing that voryn comes in to check on him. nerevar explains it was just a nightmare. that none of it is real. maybe none of this is real either.
voryn asks him what the dream was about. and nerevar tells him the dwemer found a heart of a god under red mountain. they wanted to make their own god. nerevar went to stop them, but they all disappeared. he had voryn guard the heart, but the proximity was corrupting him, his longest had and closest friend. voryn was turning into a half-dead half-dreaming monster, and nerevar had no choice but to kill him to save him. and then from behind, vivec, sotha sil, and almalexia kill him. stabbing him through the back, through his heart, and mutilated his body.
and then he woke up on a boat. all the chimer were now grey, shunned by azura. the tribunal wanted him dead again and again–how many lives of his did they end? how many times did he have to relive the tragedy of dying at their hands or being sent to kill voryn?
hes sobbing incoherently. he keeps having these dreams, and he doesnt know which one is reality any more. voryn assures him theyre only dreams. there is no heart of a god. the dwemer would never do something so foolish, vivec and sotha sil are loyal and almalexia is haughty but she would never kill him for power that wiped out the dwemer.
“… i never got to tell you…” “tell me what, nerevar?” “i never got to tell you that i loved you.”
Ego and the mimicry of a saint (and more than a little sacrilege)
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