Noriaki Kakyoin - Tumblr Posts
Bebe
I like the idea of Kakyoin’s being book smart and Jotaro street smart and despite that they would still look up at an eclipse and burn their retinas at the same time
I think of shitposting about Kakyoin and Jotaro being randomly tossed into modern times. Which includes Kakyoin being the only one who learns meme culture and media references, all while dealing with the usual jjba level enemy stand shenanigans.
*guy tied to a chair in some dingy abandoned location*
Jotaro, to Kakyoin: “Do you think he has a stand?”
Kakyoin, leaning on the doorframe: “Allow me to check.”
He releases Hierophant Green followed by dead silence for about five seconds.
Jotaro, squinting into the distance: “What the fuck was that?”
Kakyoin, deadass: “The stanky leg.”
I had a thought of how Jotaro, at some point, probably got tired of being the team’s Saitami.
Translation:
Not good. That stand over there is very big. . .
Ah, excuse me.
I love it when authors make their unrealistically buff characters seem smaller not by actually making them smaller, but rather by putting them next to an even bigger, unrealistically buff character. Like, Kakyoin only looks small because he’s beside JOTARO ninety percent of the time. It’s like putting a monster truck next to a fighter one jet.
Omg my favourite pairing!!! Horrible creature and his ugly fucking boyfriend!!! Omg haiiii!!!!
Additionally to the jotakak:
I love love love making my favourite ship unrecognizable and ridiculous, I love love love it!!
Kakyoin: Well, I had a great night, but I do have to skee-daddle!
Kakyoin thinking: Jesus Noriaki, ‘I have to skee-daddle?’ You just boned the hottest guy ever— get a grip. SKEE-DADDLE REALLY WHAGDNAKKSNF
Kakyoin: Jojo? Have you seen my retainer?
Jotaro is a praying mantis AU except Kakyoin is just some guy and Jotaro is ftm trans
One might say it’s insensitive to make Jotaro still exhibit female praying mantis behaviours when he is trans masc but I think it doesn’t matter too much because he’s a fucking seven foot praying mantis and nobody can tell me the difference anyways
No the real reason Jotaro stopped being gay after the events of sdc is because he saw Dio monologuing in those fugly ass boots and varicose veins and all of it was stripped from his body like some sort of miracle of Christ
My favourite thing are those Jojo abridged videos on YouTube whose voice actors can’t mimic certain accents accurately enough so they make Advol Scottish
Okay so I’ve recently got invited to a game of manhunt by the kids in my trailer park so I’ve decided to make this:
How the Stardust Crusaders would play man tracker!
(With some other headcannons sprinkled in)
Kid game rules:
- You have to say you’re ‘it’ if asked
- No climbing trees or drainpipes
- Can’t hide on property not every else is allowed on
- No ‘T’ (time out) while getting chased
Kid Jotaro
- pretty neutral at first and expects to get disinterested and leave early but never does
- He’s not the one who starts the game but is always the secondary recruiter for finding other kids to play
- The fastest runner
- Could easily leave everyone in the dust the moment they get ambushed
- But he doesn’t because he’s stubborn and thinks it’s sissy shit to leave everyone else and then run off by yourself
- The most fun he has all week
- The fastest and strongest but gets hungry and thirsty the most
- Will ignore it to keep playing
- Has gotten sunstroke at least ten times
- Holly starts implementing rules because of it (drink two bottles of water before lunch, granola bars in his shorts pocket that have to be wrappers by the time he comes back between games where she’ll give him two more, etc or else she’ll call him inside and not let him play the next week)
- Still doesn’t finish all the granola because Holly overestimates how much he can eat
- Will share his snacks
- Polneraff is the one who bugs him the most for them
Kid Kakyoin
- Blown away he’s being asked to play at all
- Like, nervous
- He’s excited at first, but then he gets so nervous it’s all a joke and everyone’s actually pranking him that he gets sick to his stomach and has to sit out for the first game
- So kid Jotaro sits out with him because he’s been playing all morning and needed to drink two bottles of water before lunch anyway
- Then he feels better and Jotaro does most of the talking for him back in the group (“No, take him out from getting picked. It’s his first time playing so it’s not fair if he has to be it”)
- Then after a couple games spanning the day he turns into the kid who does all the planning and strategy
- Then after a couple weeks of meeting up and hanging out, he becomes: “Guys guys guys shhhhh I saw them over there by that house. . . So that means they could come out from behind it or at its sides— or circle to the front— and cage us in! Guys guys are you listening to me? Come on! C’mon, c’mon!”
- Can be weirdly aggressive when it comes to the rules
- Him and Polneraff butt heads the most over rules, because Polneraff will come out with some ‘Well technically because you didn’t say you were it—’ ‘I did!! But I did!!’ ‘Well I didn’t hear you, so it doesn’t count’ and it will make Kakyoin genuinely upset
- Kakyoin has never been around kids his age enough to become genuinely upset, he doesn’t know how to process it or how to regulate himself
- He’s definitely the kid who gets overwhelmed and has to go home early
- Jotaro walks with him
- He doesn’t know what to say so he usually walks silently beside
- After around a month or two of summer break Kakyoin started holding his hand as they walked (he had seen his cousin and her friend do it all the time, and he hadn’t had a friend to understand what the difference between girl-friendships and boy-friendships were, so he assumed he could hold Jotaro’s hand)
- It helped him feel better
- After that, when they were hiding in the game and Kakyoin was whispering fun facts to Jotaro wherever they were hiding, Jotaro would seek out his hand and hold it
- Eventually Polneraff stopped overwhelming Kak on purpose because when he left Jotaro usually went home too and then the whole gang dispersed
- Kakyoin and Polneraff are usaully the ones with the most scratches and bruises because they take the game the most seriously, and therefore run the fastest and take the most risks in order not to get caught
- The rule ‘No climbing up drain pipes or trees’ was made because of Kakyoin
- Him and Jotaro stick together the most because Jotaro, after first introducing Kak and speaking up for him, now has Kak speaking for him
- Which is great and Kakyoin knows a lot of cool stuff so he just sort of listens as him and Kakyoin hide in some insane place like under Joseph’s truck in the driveway
- Whispering, “and the starfish too, I like those. There’s a lot of colors, too. There’s ones that change color because of camouflage. And the different var. . . Var-ee. . .” “Variants.” “Yeah. And the different variants—”
- Gets caught mostly because Polneraff learnt to listen for Kakyoin’s voice
- Polneraff told him to shut up once and Jotaro yelled at him
- Which scared him genuinely shitless because Jotaro had never raised his voice
- He did the little kid looking around and clearing throat thing like ‘don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry’
Kid Avdol
- really independent kid
- Took care of himself and his parents sometimes
- The oldest out of the group
- Polneraff scouted him first, and he’s known Polneraff the longest
- Got pulled in by Polneraff’s direct nature (“So you’re from India?” “Cairo, it’s in Egypt.” “So, like, is that near India? My dad says Indians are crooks. And lie a lot. Do you lie a lot?” “I don’t think so.” “Are you lying?” “Uh, no.” “Okay. I like your hair, why does it look like that?”)
- He’s not used to actual transparent curiosity when in a predominantly white neighborhood who toe around his race in conversation
- Polneraff also acted the same way towards Jotaro when he moved in a year or so after
- Kakyoin was the only one somewhat spared from it (“Another Jotaro? Why are you so short? Jotaro isn’t short. Are you sure you’re Japanese?” “Yeah, he is. He’s never played before.” “Oh okay. Are you gonna play with us? Can you run fast?”)
- Because he’s so independent from such a young age, he’s never really known how to be a kid
- So really, in the long run, Polneraff being so immature while being close to his own age was a real eye opener for him
- A refreshing one
- He’s queit, but not as quiet as Jotaro
- He’s more, ‘I’m thinking’ quiet
- But Polneraff is always searching for affirmation so he’s sort of come out of his silence in that way
- He came to realize it was actually really fun to just talk for the sake of talking
- His parents mention he’s been a bit of a blabber mouth since meeting that kid down the street with the dirty sneakers and perpetual sunburn, but his mother smiles behind her hand when Advol lights up and jogs over to meet him
- He’s mostly Polneraff’s support but he doesn’t really take any of it seriously
- He doesn’t tell Polneraff that though
- Him and Kakyoin get along too, but he compared him and Polneraff’s similarities together once so they both avoided him for a whole game until Polneraff finally said he was mad at him
- If he and Jotaro were left in a room together for two years they’d probably exchange two words (“Hey.” And “Bye.”)
- Schoolwork comes first, for everything
- Then chores
- But Polneraff is done his own school day by then
- And is sitting on the counter
- Soon, it became Polneraff sitting on the counter, Jotaro on the sofa, and Kakyoin hovering over Avdol’s shoulder, asking if he needs help with anything
- Years later in university, he wishes every instance with them all together would’ve lasted longer
Kid Polneraff
- the kid who started the game and asked everyone to join
- Thinks he’s the shit because it’s his street they’re playing on so he knows all the best hiding spots
- Is the most hard headed and thinks he knows best
- Him and Kakyoin butt heads the most
- He pulled his hair once but never did again after Kak bit him
- They barely tolerate eachother sometimes but for the most part make up instantly in that little kid way after a round of juice and cut up fruit from Jotaro’s mom
- They always go back to Holly after a game to fuel up because Avdol’s mom is out working late, Kakyoin’s wants him to get out the house to hang out with his friends more (she’s worried about him pushing away the only human connection he’s had since his cousin before they moved), and Polneraff’s needs a break between loud-ass kid Polneraff and his baby sister.
- Best paired with Advol because he knows it’s a game and doesn’t take it as seriously as Polneraff so he does whatever he says to do, even if it results in them both getting caught
- He’s also the kid who yells ‘T’ when about to get caught
- They had to make the rule of ‘no T while getting chased’ because of him
- Drove Kakyoin up a wall
Young Joseph
- First introduced to all Jotaro’s kid friends when at a family bbq at Holly’s
- Suzie Q was too busy talking with some girlfriends and Holly setting out the tables
- When all the kids come back from their third or fourth game for some fruit, he thinks ‘yeah sure why not’
- complains about his back while running around (mostly to get one of the girls attention so they could fawn over him, it will never work and has never worked. Suzie Q actually rolls her eyes at him)
- Lets Jotaro catch him when he’s it
- When he himself is it, he runs after Jotaro clutching his chest (“Damn, you’re fast Jotaro! Been practicing without me? That’s cheating you know!”)
- Does it because he thinks Jotaro trying to hide how happy his is that he’s faster than his Jiji who fought all these super cool monsters (from the stories he told him before bed when Holly told him not to because Jotaro would get too excited to sleep) is super precious
- Joseph totally notices and it nourishes his soul
- He thinks Polneraff is a little shit and pretends to lunge after him to make him scream
- Polneraff asks about his arm first, but Kakyoin is a close second after getting over his initial shyness
- He’s the one telling Joseph all these fun facts Joseph already knew, but is genuinely surprised this little kid did
- Tells him he’s smart, and to remember him when he’s a rocket scientist so he could hook him up with a private jet, and Kakyoin turns really red
- He’s not used to adults telling him he’s smart and not creepy
- Also not used to the casual touches, like Joseph reaching down to noogie his head a little, or pat him on the back
- Over the months of hanging out with everyone and playing he grows to trust and respect Joseph, and to look up to him as a parental figure
- Starts visiting Jotaro more often because of it
- Helps Joseph with his Japanese
Now what if they were the ages they were in part 3?
(Ignore everything I just said above, these guys are fucking around with man tracker for the first time)
Adult game rules:
- No stands
- No throwing rocks
- No fistfights
- No other weapons (Polneraff tried bringing a real sword because then technically it wasn’t his stand and Jotaro punched him)
- After Jotaro sees you, you have a fifteen second headstart (this only applies to Jotaro, and for good reason because otherwise the game would not last very long)
- No throwing other players (Joseph tossed Jotaro into a stream and Holly noticed the fatass bruise on his forearm)
- No cutting through backyards
- No mercy (or ‘pausing’ the game unless every agrees)
Jotaro
- “I’m not a fucking kid.”
- Gets physically defensive, arms crossed, isn’t having it
- Likely agrees only after Polneraff acts super cocky and it pisses him off (“Well, I’ll be the last one standing either way! Doesn’t matter who plays or who doesn’t.”
- Or Joseph makes a bet for a pack of cigs with him (“if you win Jotaro, next week’s beer is on me!” “I’ll make you put your money where your mouth is, old man.”)
- He sort of wanted to play anyways and if everyone had actually went on without him he’d be smoking by himself on the tailgate of Joseph’s truck feeling upset but not accepting the reason why
- still embodies that one kid who runs in circles around the slower kids
- Doesn’t take nearly as long to get used to the idea of playing as it does Kakyoin
- After one game he’s into it
- Like, fully charging
- He’s the fastest, and the rule ‘When Jotaro sees you you have a fifteen second headstart’ is a must when he’s it
- It’s terrifying
- just because Jotaro sees you, doesn’t nessisarily always mean you’ll see him
- Which adds an extra insanely terrifying layer to the game
- He’s the one everyone knows to look out for, and are constantly looking out for
- And if he’s it, everyone’s asking where he is or if anyone else in the group has seen him
- He’s like the grim reaper
- Goes for Kakyoin first because he likes being it with him the most
- Polneraff tried telling him he couldn’t just target Kakyoin but Kakyoin politely interjected saying it was fine
- He didn’t really like running around knowing Jotaro was Out There to Get Him
- When they do play, they’re likely around a street with kids already on it with their parents, and Jotaro running full speed after a bunch of other muscular guys squealing for their life ( it’s Polneraff doing all the squealing but no one mentions it) confuses the fuck out of them the first time they see it
- Then Joseph is jogging close behind laughing his ass off (“Jotaro give the guys some space to breathe will ya!”) and he lingers around talking to a family he knows (it’s his house they’re playing on the street of when Holly came to visit with Jotaro. Polneraff, Kakyoin, and Advol just happened to have nothing going on and as Joseph is cannonically fucking loaded everyone just sort of piled on a flight and came over too)
- Kakyoin is long jumping over a park fence, Polneraff is trying to clamber over it, and Avdol’s pants are caught on the chainlink all the while Jotaro is getting closer and closer and everyone is looking visibly more and more scared
- Joseph is recording and continuing his convo at the same time
Kakyoin
- took the longest to get used to playing
- The first game he felt silly, like, really embarrassed
- He never did this sort of thing as a kid, what if someone sees? A bunch of grown men running around chasing eachother? What was he doing? He should be at home cleaning or doing someone productive. Maybe he should say his stomach hurts and go home
- It’s not like he’s lying. He feels almost queasy
- He doesn’t know why
- He gets caught on purpose the first and second game so he could justify lingering behind the other person already it, but on the third he’s honestly surprised how Jotaro’s so into it
- Like, he looks up to Jotaro a little, he has a powerful stand and is the most levelheaded guy he knows
- He’s smart and quick thinking and does super cool badass shit all the time
- Kakyoin doesn’t think he’s ever seen him do anything ‘fun’ like this that wasn’t a substance before
- Looking around, he realizes everyone else is taking this seriously, and not only that, having fun
- So he does too
Avdol
- tried to sit out and watch from somewhere in the shade with a cold drink
- Joseph drags him in before he could make it to the truck cab and open the cooler
- Slips into the nostalgia pretty easily and while not taking it seriously, finds the atmosphere of youth and the company of people who aren’t aware of how stupid they all might look to onlookers refreshing
- He was the one to tell Polneraff not to throw rocks
- Then he was the one who looked despairingly at Joseph after Polneraff said he started throwing them first
- Then he didn’t really have to worry about it anymore because Jotaro picked up a treetrunk piece from the park tree line they ended up at and threw it at all of them
- He didn’t use star platinum, just raw strength
- Kakyoin is hot on their heels, and because of his insane ability to make strategies up on the fly, when Avdol is it and catches up to him and cages him in Advol genuinely has to act serious with it because Kak has the brains and the brawn to execute really amazing plans considering they’re playing a kids game
- He escaped Advol
- He nods along when Joseph pats his shoulder and thanks him for letting Kakyoin get away (“Best not to go too hard on him. Don’t want to scare the kid off.”)
- He didn’t
- He actually tried to catch him
- He’s going to talk to Kak about some more serious stand-arrow related missions he might be a good help on
Polneraff
- is so sure he’s going to crush these nerds
- Does not
- Is under constant harassment from Jotaro after his high claims of beating his ass in this ‘little kid game’
- He gets more and more serious about winning the more he loses
- Kakyoin actively avoids him, but by some twist of fate gets stuck with him more than he would’ve liked
- If not with Jotaro, he’s getting dragged around by Polneraff as he’s frantically trying to escape the earthshaking footsteps of Jotaro getting closer and closer
- Complains the most about the rules if they don’t let him cheat
- Advocates for the rules the most when they’re to his advantage
- Gets scolded by Avdol when Advol isn’t scolding Joseph for something he likely saw Polneraff do first and he decided to join in
Old Joseph
- Back does not hurt
- no faking any injuries because the second game he tried it to evade ‘it’ Kakyoin and Jotaro fully ditched him to run away
- Jotaro does not think ditching dumbasses is sissy of him, and Joseph is the dumbest of asses
- Goes full sprint all the time
- Probably has the best strategy if he actually took it seriously
- He doesn’t
- Instead he chases everyone around and just goes with the flow
- He will be the last one standing or at least the main two
- He’s the only one who can even remotely keep up with Jotaro, if just barely
- Loud, Jotaro finds him usually because of him talking to himself or the person he’s with (who is usaully shushing him because they know Jotaro’s going to hear him)
- But he’s very rarely out of breath when being chased by the other crusaders who are it
Just saw a Jotaro and Kakyoin post where someone drew that scene with Jotaro taking out Kakyoin’s unconsented to forehead dermal and they called it a lobotomy. Why the FUCK haven’t I thought of that before it totally fucking was wasn’t it?
Ugh, childhood friends. . . Doomed by the narrative. . . The layers ughhhb like I love the idea of a Jotakak situation where both are reincarnated or if the events of stone ocean reset the original universe back on itself instead of making it a whole new thing— like, instead of it being completely changed it simply restarted, like re-reading a book. Nothing changes, and when you get to the end it’s the same.
But maybe after the billionth time this happens, after Jotaro drowns and everyone melts away in this big cosmic event, something does change. A little, very small thing. A rock moves two paces to the left, there’s a rainy day when there was supposed to be sun. Whatever. And Jotaro is in the same primary school with Kakyoin, introducing himself because he saw him make a pencil float and wanted to know how.
Kakyoin, being too young to have complete acceptance of his loneliness, asks him if he can tell him a secret.
And he does. And they become best friends. Things change. But the ending doesn’t. And then the story ends, and the book closes, and Jotaro is six, sitting with Kakyoin in the sandbox at recess. They’re promising they’ll get a big house on Mount Fuji, and they’ll stay up there forever.
“Will there be dogs?” Kakyoin asks. He knows Jotaro loves dogs.
“Yeah. And lots of big, super tall trees.” He knows how much Kakyoin loves climbing trees.
“Okay. Can I have the upstairs?”
“If we have one. . .” He thinks about it, “We can share. You’ll have the top bunk. So then it’s fair.”
And then he’s gripping Kakyoin’s hand in his as he watches the sun dip and dive about the sky like some neurotic dolphin. His head is tingly and the water against his back cold. Kakyoin isn’t holding his hand back.
He thinks the end of the world looks a lot like a spinning top, and he wonders what it would look like, seeing it from the branches of a big, super tall tree in a house on Mount Fuji. . .
Ever think about how both Kakyoin and Jotaro died in water?
The difference between Kakyoin and Jotaro is if Jotaro were a cat he wouldn’t notice his owner died until it’s feeding time and his bowl was still empty while Kakyoin would notice his owner smelled a bit off two hours before they passed and wouldn’t even wait until the body was cold to start eating them
My 👆
reference by @dog-bat3
My Blood
Remembering old friends
Tumblr requests! Thank you to everyone who participated: @salmonandsoup, @divinemanicstate, @jestingforfun, @lilllykokonut, @seafoampeach, and @silkytea-art! I hope you guys like it! I appreciate you guys sticking with me and being so patient and amazing!! 💖
April 11th 2024