Not A Case Of Competing Access Needs - Tumblr Posts

So speaking of ADHD, a lifetime of people looking at me funny or misinterpreting what I’m saying has made me Really Sensitive about repeating myself. Because if the issue is that a person *heard* what I was saying but still asked me to repeat myself, odds are they are just going to stare at me in incomprehension, and the thing I was so passionate about saying will all of a sudden seem foolish or I will feel not-belonging, and they will get awkward while I want to go make myself small in a corner for a while. (Funny, this does not happen around fellow adhd-brains, who usually get the connections I make.)

So, actually making a choice to speak into the room a thing that I just blurted out goes against a lot of ingrained habits. When I say “it didn’t matter,” it is probably me going in my head “oh shit, I am disappointed again, first mistake was saying something that was risky in the first place, second was fucking it up even more with my mumbling, let’s make it go away please.”

But I don’t want that to land as “you don’t matter.” So I will repeat the thing.

Just something I really want to share on here because it’s important.